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The car park is intimidatingly large. It's absolutely filled with cars, vans, and SUVs, as well as trucks of various sizes and heights. Ted creeps through the lanes at an agonising pace to find a spot.
"Watch out for anything in the other rows," he says as he slows to a stop to let a family pass in front of them with a shopping trolley filled to the brim.
"Jesus," she whispers, looking at the contents as well as the size of the trolley. "Is it always so crowded?"
Ted makes a hemming-and-hawing noise as his head wobbles in his 'yeah, kind of' answer.
"On the weekends, yeah," Ted says as he starts their slow crawl again. "When I used to coach at the university, I'd go after work, and there weren't as many people when it was close to closing time. But Costco is pretty notorious for this kind of crowd here in the States no matter where you're at."
They're not even at the section of the car park near the entrance or exit since Ted told her he doubts there's a spot, and he likes to save that part of the lot for the elderly or families with young kids.
"It's funny," Ted comments as he continues to drive and try to spot an open stall or someone almost finished loading up their car, "the parking lot is packed, and yet it's so huge inside that you only run into most people when they are at the sampling stations, the clothing section, or down the aisle you actually need something."
Rebecca turns from the window where she was trying to keep watch and narrows her eyes with slight scepticism. He can't see them, since she has her sunglasses on, but he can feel it.
"Much different than the one back home." Ted nods his head to the left. She assumes it's his sense of direction as to where London is from the Overland Park Costco car park.
AFC Richmond has a Costco account. He asked one day when they had been driving through Hounslow because Henry wanted to find more walking paths, and Rebecca thought that Hounslow Heath was close enough to the nature Henry was seeking without having to travel a great distance during the school and work week. But she had wanted Ted's opinion before they brought Henry to the preserve. He had been distracted because he finally saw one of the few UK Costco buildings, which had been elusive to him. When he asked to make a pit stop to check it out, she claimed that the AFC Richmond canteen manager was the only one with access to Costco since the membership rules were different here.
Ted's frown had been enough to convince her to ask the canteen manager when his next trip to Costco would be and if he'd mind terribly if she and Ted tagged along. Obviously, he'd still be able to shop while she takes Ted on a little tour of the UK version of Costco. To his credit, the canteen manager hadn't batted an eye at the request. It almost felt as though he'd been expecting the request sometime over the last three and a half years that Ted has been employed, given how quickly he had said it would be fine.
As they pulled into the car park of the Hounslow Costco, Ted commented that it was the size of a traditional American grocery store. In that moment, as her eyes became wide with a sort of 'the States seem like a horrifying place' look, she had been thankful that they'd driven her Range Rover while the canteen manager used the AFC Richmond transit van to haul whatever he had planned to purchase. In her few ventures to the States, she can't recall ever visiting one of their 'grocery stores', so when she had confessed that to Ted, he rectified that when they made their first trip to Wichita together.
"Ope." Ted interrupts her thoughts back to their visit to the UK Costco as he spots a parking spot in the far corner of the lot. "You don't mind walking?"
Rebecca raises a brow as if to say, 'really, seriously', but realises he's focused on driving and answers out loud instead.
"No, I don't mind. This might be safer for the hired car anyway."
Ted hums in agreement. The Toyota RAV4 is just the right fit for the two of them and Henry as they travel back and forth from their rental in Overland Park to Kansas City while AFC Richmond plays in the Premier League versus Major League Soccer exhibition that ESPN hosts in some major MLS cities. Ted had been hoping for a draw to Kansas City or Houston since Henry had been complaining that London doesn't have good barbecue, and that's the one thing he's missed since the move to London to live with Ted and Rebecca. Houston would have given them the opportunity to make a quick pit stop in Kansas City before moving on to their next exhibition match. Luckily, though, they got Sporting KC and Toronto FC for their group friendlies.
Today, they are braving Costco for the team cookout this weekend before the start of the exhibition on Monday. Their rental house has a few smokers, a couple of grills, and an outdoor bar that spans a good portion of the garden. Ted volunteered to get the meats and a few sides at Costco while Beard and Henry raided the usual shops for wood chips, charcoal briquettes, and Ted's favourite barbecue sauces from the various Kansas City joints.
Ted parks and nods his head as he turns the engine off and unbuckles, watching her do the same in the passenger seat. He lifts his hips, digging his wallet out of his left pocket, and opens it before flicking a few cards to pull out his Costco membership card.
"Got it!" He tells her, waving the black card around. "Didn't want to cause a traffic jam at the carts or the entrance."
Rebecca nods slowly with a questioning look. She's not sure what that means, considering their Costco trip was limited to only a handful of people being in the warehouse compared to what the car park shows here in Overland Park. And since they were there to observe the shelves rather than shop, they had no need for a trolley.
"You'll see what I mean. Ready?" Ted tips his head towards the entrance.
She nods, waiting for him to open his door before she follows suit.
The Midwest heat overwhelms her as soon as she steps out of the car to walk over to Ted's side. June in the Midwest is warm rather than scorching—like it can get in the late summer—but Rebecca's used to London weather that isn't as humid as Overland Park mornings are. Still, there is an upside to the weather in that Ted's taken to wearing shorts.
Last year, she had seen him in shorts for the first time when they went to Positano for a long weekend, and it was supposed to be 30 degrees by late-afternoon. When he had come out of the bedroom in shorts, the back of her hand ended up on his forehead, and he sighed and told her he owes Keeley twenty quid. This week, when he's not on the pitch watching the team train, he's in chino shorts in various summery colours that she feels Keeley might have inspired him to wear. The shorts show off his toned calves and surprisingly delicate ankles. Keeley consulted with both of them for their attire for this trip, certain that sports photographers will be all over the city rather than just the pitch. And she claims she needs the newly engaged couple to get some well-earned photos that she can use on her personal Instagram to make a story about her best friend getting engaged to the love of her life. Rebecca's not complaining. Well, not about the shorts, anyway.
Still, she grabs Ted's hand he holds out and mentally braces herself for the chaos.
—
The entrance and exit were the same as the Hounslow Costco. This one just had significantly more people milling about either side. And she was able to watch from afar as Ted told her to stay near the pillar while he got a cart, and there were at least five people standing in front of the three trolley rows that accounted for at least one-third of the side of the building. One was pulling out his Costco card, and she could see why Ted did it in the car. She's not getting the trolley, and yet the annoyance ratchets up inside her as the people simply stand in the way of Ted getting one. She can't hear him say, 'ope, just let me squeeze in here,' but she knows he's said it by the way he uses it whenever they go to the shops together and he sneaks between the people browsing the shelves.
Trolley acquired, she meets him at the sort-of queue that a few people form as they wait for the scanner to scan the card. She's not mentally prepared enough for why people are using only the one scanner when there are two perfectly usable ones. And she directs Ted to the one where an employee stands over the tablet that pops up with the membership photo as soon as the card is scanned.
"Having fun yet?" Ted wiggles his brows as he sticks the card in his pocket as they continue forward.
She blows out a sharp breath as she rolls her eyes.
"Come on," he rolls past the entrance where random stockpiles denote summer is officially here, even if it's not summer quite yet in the meteorological sense. "We'll start with the produce, then go to the meats, and finish with the fizzy waters you all seem to like. But feel free to steer me down any aisle that you fancy."
He's better at anticipating the random people stopping in the middle of the expansive walkways than she is. He'll reach out and tug at the bit of her mint green sundress that he can grasp before she runs into anyone the first couple of times where she's peeking into the aisles they pass. And before she can get annoyed a third time, he wraps his hand around her wrist and tugs her back to the trolley handle with him since it's big enough for two adults to fit side-by-side.
"Don't need you threatening to arm wrestle anyone today," he laughs at his own joke, and the delight in his eyes makes her shake her head as she relents and gives him a brief chuckle of her own.
Rebecca settles her hand on his that's closest to her rather than the handle of the trolley. She can feel the way his hand tightens as he steers them just slightly off to one side or the other as they weave gently through the crowds.
"I can see why you did it after your work day was done," Rebecca concedes. Not that she had any doubts his methods were practical. She hadn't realised how busy it could be, even with the car park as full as it had been.
"After you get away from the clothing and the home goods type of stuff, everyone starts to sort of disperse to the corners they need. Well, unless you need eggs. That dairy case is always busy. Good thing we aren't making breakfast, I suppose."
In true fashion, as soon as they got away from the front part of the warehouse…store… whatever, it calmed down as far as mingling and loitering customers. The produce was stacked higher than she thought it would be. Ted said they'd need potatoes, onions, and green beans from Costco, considering a pound at the supermarkets was the same price as three to five pounds at Costco. As they grab the green beans from the refrigerated section of produce where the cut fruits, berries, and some vegetables sit, he reminds her to look at the price of raspberries here and then compare them to the store price when they go tomorrow afternoon for the little things they'll forget today between themselves and Beard's and Henry's shopping.
As Ted eyes the beef spare ribs in front of him, Rebecca looks around at the vastness of the meat section. There's basically an entire butcher's shop right here, with plexiglass and a few thousand pounds… or rather, American dollars' worth of cow, between them. She doesn't pretend to know what any of the cuts mean when the display says 'round', 'chuck', or 'top sirloin', but she knows Ted's looking out for specific ones. She knows he wants 'beef spare ribs' and 'brisket' for sure since he had her try both versions at Arthur Bryant's during her first adventure to the Midwest last year. The other ones, though, are anyone's guess.
"The rotisserie chickens always fly off the hot shelf," Ted tells her as he finally picks two of the packages in the cooler refrigerator thing in front of them. "I know Beard is taking Henry to Q39 tonight, so it's just us if you want to try one with a test run of some mashed potatoes and green beans."
"If it spares you from cooking more than you have to do this week, then it's fine with me," she relents. She's agreed to help with the sides since she can follow a recipe. And Henry promised to help her out in case she needed an expert while Ted and Beard rubbed, smoked, mopped, and grilled whatever meat cuts they ended up with.
He hums, she assumes in agreement, and pushes the trolley a few stalls over before he begins to inspect the packaged beef in front of them.
She watches him this time around rather than scoping out the warehouse. Runs her eyes over the length of him as he's in another world as he pushes the meats around the cooler. The heathered violet KC t-shirt with the heart and city skyline isn't new. He often wears it on the weekdays when there aren't training sessions and she opts to work from home rather than the office to watch him potter around the house or in the garden. He's paired it with a pair of light chambray shorts she thinks are new based on how he hasn't cut out the back pocket seams where they're stitched together to make it easier to fold and not crease the shorts.
Her quiet laugh at the fact he still has his back pockets stitched makes him look back at her, but she shakes her head. Luckily, she knows her future mother-in-law has a seam ripper that they can use when they visit her tomorrow before Ted has to lead training in Kansas City.
—
The store associates spook them both.
"Mr Lasso?" A voice calls out from beside them as Rebecca points with the tiny wooden spoon-fork utensil to the La Croix flavours that will go down better than the Topo Chico ones before she digs the utensil back into the sample of yoghurt and granola they picked up along the way to the water aisle.
Ted jumps a little, moving the trolley ever so slightly forwards and into his hip, when he meant to roll it backwards to give himself room to manoeuvre.
"Uh, yep. That's me?" Ted hesitates a little. Although he's reassured that both people in front of him have a Costco name badge on their lanyards. Alex and Kevin, he reads. "You can call me Ted."
"If you could come with us, Mr Lasso," Alex says, pointing in a direction that Ted assumes is a manager's office or something.
"I promise, we haven't done anything other than show this one around an American-sized Costco." Ted tries as Rebecca continues to eye the two associates. "Although, I did give her my yoghurt since it was too thick for me. I know the rule is only one sample per person, but I didn't want it to go to waste, and she likes it."
He points to the package of yoghurt that sits at the basket seating of the trolley, where the rotisserie chicken sits on one side and the package of yoghurts on the other.
"We would really appreciate it if you could attend the front of the store with us, Mr Lasso."
"I just need this fizzy water here," Ted thumbs towards the La Croix rack. "Do you mind waiting two shakes, or do we have to go right this second?"
The store associates look at one another, and Ted uses the pause to get the two La Croix packages before he stands up and raises a brow at Rebecca, silently wondering if she knows what's happening.
Her shoulders raise subtly, telling him she's not in on whatever the heck this is, and he points to the trolley.
"Should, uh, we bring this or?" he trails off.
"You can bring it, Mr Lasso," Alex confirms. "Although, maybe Mrs Lasso could push it."
Ted wiggles his brows as he looks over at Rebecca.
"Mrs Lasso, do you mind doing the heavy lift?" He teases. They're not quite there, but he does feel a little thrill at the way she finds amusement in the situation. For a brief moment, he wonders what she's going to do about her name when the time comes. But he feels that's a question to ask away from Costco.
She rolls her eyes and hands him the trash of their two yoghurt cups and spoons before moving towards the handles of the trolley.
"Mr Lasso," she trades him, and he can't help but appreciate the way she unconsciously flaunts her triceps as she manoeuvres the weighted trolley with ease to point it in the direction the associates pointed towards earlier.
"Right," Ted nods. "We're ready."
The silence is awkward, and Ted wants to break it, but he's also trying to get used to not having to break it. After all, this is like that one time in elementary school where he had to go to the principal's office because his teacher was tired of him yapping and told the two of the 'goody two-shoes' students to quietly take him there. Ted looks back at Rebecca, a few steps behind them, and she's not even attempting to hide her amusement.
As they approach the sort of awkward space where it transitions from retail goods to the pharmacy, another store associate pops out from an aisle just as Ted finds a bin to throw away the sampler trash he's been holding for a few aisles now.
"Mr Lasso. We saw you shopping and thought it would be a great opportunity for a soft launch of our newest product," the new associate, Ron, Store Manager—according to his name tag—says.
"Call me Ted," Ted tries again. "I haven't figured out what the heck is happening. I mean, we were just shopping for the team barbecue, and then these two told us to follow them, and here we all are. I promise, the sample I took and then gave to her was the only rule we've broken."
Ron wobbles his head as he walks the fine line of not wanting to get in trouble but allowing for the context of why they’ve taken them away from their shopping experience.
"You're not in trouble for the samples, Mr Lasso… Ted. You see, there's a rumour going around on the internet that you must have seen." Ron waves his hand in a rolling motion as if to get the context out. "About a certain brand and Costco."
"Sorry. Keeley's really the one that tells us things we need to know from the internet," Ted shrugs.
"It's those god-awful trainers, isn't it?" Rebecca pipes up beside Ted. "The ones with the hot dogs?"
Ted swivels towards Rebecca to give her a look as to how the heck she knows that and then swivels back to Ron as he pointedly looks away, and the other two associates immediately cast their eyes down to the floor.
"Henry wanted us to be on the lookout for them to see if they're real. I think you were on the phone with Higgins when he made the request as Beard picked him up," Rebecca shrugs. She was passively looking down the aisles but didn't see anything. And she wasn't going to involve them in the chaos that was the clothing and toys section of the warehouse.
Ted's brows furrow slightly before he makes the connection.
"So you want me to wear them or something? Do a photoshoot?" Ted wonders. "If it's the latter, I have to say that she's done more of those than me."
He tilts his head pointedly towards Rebecca.
Ron shakes his head.
"No. Nothing like that." Ron reaches out his hands, as if Ted were going to start practising walking down a make-believe catwalk. "We've had our loss prevention people on the lookout for local celebrities at this store and one of them in Kansas City today. Kevin here, our local soccer fan, pointed you out and thought since you went viral once, you might be the best local celebrity for this launch. Also, it helps that your team is sponsored by them. Or so Kevin tells us."
"They are the major sponsor," Rebecca confirms and watches the second associate, who has said nothing so far, stands a little taller at the recognition.
"Okay," Ted nods slowly. "Is this going to take long? Because the fizzy water was the last thing we needed and we have some, uh, well, perishable things in the cart."
"Alex, please put the cart in the front cold storage area until we're done here." Ron motions to the trolley as Rebecca stands up rather than leans against it. "Kevin and I will make sure the display is ready to go, and then we'll bring you to the display where we've set up the stock."
With the trolley no longer separating them, Ted's fingers reach back towards her hand, and she takes a step closer, entwining their fingers so their palms meet as they stand side by side.
"Henry's been following the trend?" Ted wonders with a curious raise of his brow. He's allowed some internet time, but he and Michelle have nipped the request for social media accounts in the bud… for now, at least.
"I suppose so," Rebecca shrugs a shoulder. "Perhaps his friends talk about it? He does have quite the Nike collection for an eleven-year-old, you know."
"I guess when he was little, we'd always get matching ones. Never really stopped the trend. So, my fault," Ted tells her, but he doesn't look guilty. Nor did she mean the statement to be a guilt trip. Simply an observation.
"You think they'll have a hot dog keychain?" Ted asks as he points to the food court. "They're the best-selling item. Well, probably."
"Knowing how strange you Americans are, I wouldn't put it past Nike to make it in the shape of a hot dog or have little hot dogs on the swoosh."
"Ooh," Ted wiggles his brows, thrilled by the prospect. "That'd be a statement piece."
A throat is cleared from in front of them, and Ted looks up to find Kevin.
"They're ready for you, Mr Lasso and Ms Welton," Kevin gets out.
Ted waves a hand, and they follow Kevin around the aisles back to the front side where the entrance is. It's far enough away from the clothing and electronics but still in the vicinity of the wine pallets that people start to gather thanks to their curious nature. Its a little off the beaten path presentation and display wise, but he supposes it might be a loss prevention thing. No doubt they'll be hot tickets, this collaboration with Nike.
Rebecca tries to drop his hand just before they round the display set, but he holds firm, and they circle to where Kevin points, which is next to Ron.
"If I'm going viral, I think Keeley will need you in there, too," he points out. "She needs to re-blog? Re-tweet? Re-reel? One of them anyway."
"You think this will go viral?" Rebecca raises a brow, a little sceptical and curious. "A trainer?"
"It's Costco. Of course people will love it. Well, at least here."
She hums. Now having been in the American version of Costco, she understands the appeal of the free samples as one zig-zags through the maze of bulk items. She's not sure why some of the warehouse items exist in such large quantities if these warehouses cater to individual Americans rather than businesses, like the UK. Ted told her there's even a Business Center Costco Warehouse which sells even larger bulk quantities than this version of Costco when she pointed out the huge packages of chewing gum. She thinks if David Attenborough ever wanted to transition to the curious nature that is the human race, she might suggest to him that he take a trip through an American Costco.
Her thoughts are interrupted by the way Ron uses a megaphone to announce his 'hello' to the members who have trickled in and stopped, curious about the display under a large tarpaulin and what Rebecca assumes is a single box of trainers under a display table and a Costco-branded blanket.
Ron speaks on the joy of finding Ted Lasso in the midst of shopping at their humble Overland Park Costco Warehouse so he can reveal the brand-new limited edition item to the masses. She's sure that he got pointers from Kevin because the facts he lists about Ted's career are surprisingly accurate and she even gets a shoutout as 'Rebecca Welton, owner of this year's Premier League champions, AFC Richmond' instead of 'Mrs Lasso.'
Ted's fingers loosen, and his hand falls away at the cue to clap during the introduction before he is offered the megaphone. He declines, thankfully. He's always been able to command a room without a projection device, and she’s pleased he remembers this fact.
Ted gets cued to reveal the box, and he takes the blanket off, with a stilted pause of not knowing where to put it before Kevin swoops in to take the offering. Ted nods his thanks, then briefly turns to her and wiggles his brow as subtly as possible before turning back to the box.
"Oooh," he hums, getting the crowd into the unboxing. “Nike SB, huh.”
The box is like any other Nike box that Ted has in the closet. As Ted opens it, she has to remind herself that social media influencers and the Overland Park Costco social media people are recording this moment. So, when Ted opens the box to find a Costco Wholesale and Nike Skateboard duo logo tissue paper rather than Nike's boring, plain paper, she makes her best 'wow, what a surprise' face.
They look like the rest of his low-top Nikes. Although the Costco Dunks collaboration version looks like it should be a t-shirt rather than the flyleather of his other Dunks. She can't help herself as she leans in to touch the material as Ted offers her a touch.
The Costco card that he scanned earlier is looped onto the top of the trainer's tongue where the laces should be tied up. A Kirkland Signature logo is at the back of the iconic Nike swoosh. Rebecca's not sure what Kirkland Signature is, but she can take a wild guess that it's in-house branding considering a lot of the products they've passed by are 'Kirkland Signature' sitting beside the name brand competitor.
As Ted looks at the trainer from the front angle, she finds nothing remarkable. The laces of the Dunks look more like those on running trainers rather than Ted's favourite Jordans. It comes with four extra laces—black, white, red, and a dotted grey and black. Two of them at least look like the flat Dunks laces she's used to seeing. The bottom of the Costco Dunks is black with a spot of red. She honestly expected the Costco logo, like the Kirkland Signature logo featured on the inside sole, so her surprised face that no doubt gets recorded is genuine.
The tongue has a Costco item tag sewn into it. Briefly, she wonders if these will be released in the UK and if they'll still have the size of trainers on the tongue tag since it looks like the American-based sizes of trainers is branded into the tag.
"These laces should have come with little hot dogs or chicken bake pattern," Ted jokes as he sets the trainers down to peek at the laces in the box. "Maybe I can get those custom-made or something."
Ted boxes the trainers up, and he’s told he gets to keep them before Ron uses the megaphone to let a few associates release the tarpaulin cover to reveal the stack of various Costco Nike Dunks for members who have watched the reveal. The sign says ‘limit one per member,’ and Rebeca wonders how that might be regulated considering the dive one person just did to nab two boxes.
While the crowd of influencers and regular members swarm the stack, Ron shakes Ted’s hand and thanks him for doing them a favour.
“No problem as long as we can get our cart back to check out,” Ted reminds the man.
“Alex rang up the cart, and you just need to scan this ticket at the self-checkout or at the register. An associate can get it from cold storage for you,” Ron reveals, holding a ticket with a barcode, and hands it over. “We put another pair of the Nikes in there for you, Ms Welton. And we let the door folks know who you are when you’re finished checking out.”
“Oh,” Rebecca says, genuinely surprised considering she’s not a member and frankly the trainers are atrocious, in her opinion. Still, Henry might like them even if they are the wrong size. “Thank you.”
Ron joins the fray of associates attempting to bring order to the chaos while Kevin lingers. Rebecca holds her hand out for his phone without having to be asked. And the younger man lights up as Ted wraps an arm around his shoulder and grins for the photo.
After scanning the ticket to find they thankfully didn’t have to pay for either set of trainers, Rebecca realises how they’re going to monitor the ‘limit one per member’ of the Dunks—the receipt check at the exit. It’s quite remarkable how the crowd doesn't complain about another queue but she thinks the smiley face the older woman puts on the top of the receipt is hard to be cross at.
"So?" He asks as they load the boot.
"Absolute madness," Rebecca laughs.
When they get home, Rebecca presents the new Dunks to Henry. He delightedly takes the trainers apart to find the Costco hot dog when it became obvious that the hot dog was a hidden feature. He whoops as he finds it in the removable sole. As Beard and Ted laugh, Ted has to tell her the tale of the Costco hot dog being the soul of Costco… and the best $1.50 he's ever spent.