Chapter Text
It all started with a bout of stage fright…
Spamton couldn’t remember the last time he’d had stage fright. Even when he was a young addison, he always had a very outgoing and loud personality, so performing and being in front of a crowd never bothered him that much. The transition from in-person sales to television commercials and eventual co-hosting was relatively easy for him. He took to acting like a fish to water. He was a natural alongside Tenna, and he had the awards to prove it. Or, well, he had them at one point… before he lost everything.
So why did he suddenly feel like the entire stage was closing in on him, as hundreds of eyes stared him down, waiting for him to make a fool of himself? He was frozen stiff, unable to speak, unable to look away from the staring crowd as the applause died down and everything fell to an uncomfortable silence. Spamton tried to speak, but only a bitcrushed sound came out as his head glitched and twitched for a moment before falling back into place. This caused a few displaced, awkward chuckles to murmur up from the studio audience. Was this all part of the act, or wasn’t it? They couldn’t quite tell.
This was an absolute disaster, he knew his lines, so why couldn’t he say them? Hello?? Earth to Spamton, wake up!! How did he ever let Tenna talk him into doing this?!?
[Well, in order to tell this story, we’ll first need to go back to the beginning of it all…]
☆☆☆
When Spamton was first brought to Castletown, it wasn’t by his own choice. He could do nothing but merely observe from the dealmakers atop Kris’ head as the two kids entered this new world. It appeared old-fashioned, with dark skies and quaint little shops and homes, all shadowed by a large castle at the end of the long cobblestone street. A beautiful, crystal-clear fountain bubbled at the entryway to the castle, and the whole place felt serene and quiet. There were a whole slew of mish-mashed characters that greeted the kids as they explored this new dark world. There were ones he recognized from Cyber City, but there were also many characters that he didn’t recognize in the slightest. Spamton never thought he’d see so many different darkners in one place before. What was this place?
Ralsei described it as a sanctuary. A place where darkners could live once their fountains were closed and the dark worlds were destroyed. Spamton finally spoke up, causing the spectacles to quiver from where they were perched on Kris’ brow.
“EVEN [#1 rated salesman]?” he asked.
“Of course, Mr. Spamton,” Ralsei replied in his soft voice, “You may be an inventory item for Kris, but when you’re not needed by the team you are free to stay here with the rest of us. Unless you'd rather stay in Kris’ pocket...”
The spectacles shook more and started to glow, and they hopped right off of Kris’ head as they re-materialized into the little puppet man once more.
“N-NO NO [need to check out these deals!] I’M HAPPY TO [live this Saturday] HERE!” he replied quickly with a shake of his head. “THE [little sponge] NEEDS TO CLEAN OUT THEIR [check your pockets for dust bunnies!], AND I DON’T WANT TO [end up in the washer].”
Susie and Ralsei laughed at the puppet’s comment, while Kris just stood stoic as ever with a straight face. “That goes for all of your inventory items, Kris. They can all stay here when you leave for the light world,” Ralsei continued, and Kris gave a short nod before digging into their pockets. An ‘equip’ sound played out, and then all the items in Kris’ pockets materialized in front of the small group. Lancer, Starwalker, and Jevil all appeared.
“That pocket was pissing me off.
I am the original Starwalker.”
The star with legs said before he just walked off into town without another word.
“Wow! This place looks a lot like my home!” Lancer exclaimed as he started to happily bounce around in circles around the group, “Is dad here too?” he asked.
“Yes, King Spade is in the castle’s dungeon. Although he keeps complaining that we need to find him a new jester to keep him entertained…” Ralsei replied as he tapped his chin in thought, “Do you have any ideas?”
“Oh boy do I!” Lancer replied, “I’ve been working on all kinds of new jokes while I was chilling in Kris’ pocket! I can’t wait to try ‘em out!” The little spade boy then bounded down the street towards the castle to go see his dad.
“Well well well, if it isn’t Spamton G. Spamton, hehehe! We meet again, again!” Jevil said with a big grin as he floated around the puppet.
“BEAT IT [clown around town], I’M NOT IN THE [mood ring] FOR YOUR TRIX,” Spamton replied, waving away the jester’s tail as it flicked in his face. “AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE [sleepless in Seattle] FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS??” he huffed.
Jevil landed on his feet with a hop and put his hands to his hips. “You do have a point, point. My slumber was interrupted by all the commotion with the Knight. I suppose I shall leave you be for now, now. Ta-ta little puppet, puppet~!” he smirked, before he too headed into town and disappeared from view.
When Kris and Susie left to go back to the light world, they entrusted Ralsei to keep an eye on Spamton, and the little prince dutifully accepted. Since that day, Spamton was free to roam about as he pleased, but whenever the kids came back he would be needed back in Kris’ inventory once again. And so, Spamton wandered around Castletown without any real direction.
He no longer lived in a dumpster, the prince gave Spamton a room in the castle so that he could keep an eye on the unruly little puppet. But despite having a comfortable bed and a roof above his head, he still felt hollow inside. He’d long since lost his fame and notoriety, he no longer had his good looks, he didn’t have any friends, he had no job, the Neo body was destroyed, and Ralsei wouldn’t even let him dig in the trash anymore... so what was he supposed to do now? He had no real purpose anymore, at least not when he wasn’t the dealmakers. He spent most of his days just shut up in his room, not wishing to come out even when Ralsei invited him to come outside with him.
That is, until the lightner kids brought Tenna back into his life.
☆☆☆
Spamton was present for everything that happened when the group went to TV World. He sat perched on Kris’ head as he normally did, and he witnessed everything. He’d never seen Tenna this desperate before. It almost hurt to watch, it truly did. As angry as he was at Tenna, he found himself feeling more pity than anger as the adventure pressed on. And then, there was the pipis…
He’d entrusted that little gift to Tenna all those years ago. He never thought Tenna would’ve still kept it after what he did to him! And not only did he keep it, he took care of it, he kept it alive! Disbelief and old resurfacing feelings fueled his actions. He needed to talk to Tenna again, this was proof that Tenna did still love him despite all he’d done to fuck him over all those years ago.
“[Trash Heap]!!! YOU KEPT IT!!! YOU REALLY DO CARE!!!” he couldn’t help but exclaim.
But then, instead of a heartfelt reunion, the unthinkable happened… Tenna didn’t recognize him. But of course he didn’t, how could he? He was so different now, just a shell of his former self. Instead, Tenna freaked out, called him a rat, and sprayed him with foam.
Spamton hoped that this would be the last time he ever had to see Tenna again, but he couldn’t be that lucky. Not long after, when Spamton had just barely gotten himself all cleaned off, he was forced to witness the one thing he hoped he’d never have to see in real life. Tenna’s prophecy, laid out before him in real time.
It was even more gruesome than his visions portrayed it.
Seeing Tenna’s near-lifeless body glitching out on the ground below, his arms scattered in the snow… it broke Spamton. Although originally he meant it when he said he was never [doing that] again, he couldn’t just leave Tenna there to die! So while the gang was busy fighting the Knight, Spamton re-materialized and gathered as many shadow guys and pippinses that he could find to help put Tenna back together. It was difficult work, especially when the ice and snow were still falling freely and the sounds of an intense battle echoed from not too far off in the distance.
By the time Susie came rushing over, Tenna’s repairs were mostly complete. His arms were haphazardly soldered back on and the wires were reconnected, all that was left was to restart his system. While Tenna rebooted, Susie wrapped a bit of cloth from her pants around the cord of Tenna’s right antenna, after noticing there was a kink in the wire. The bandage helped to straighten the wire back out, and just as she backed away to admire her work, Tenna’s screen flickered to life and he let out a pained groan. In the blink of an eye, Spamton shifted back into the dealmakers so Tenna wouldn’t see him, and he quickly leapt into Susie’s pocket to hide. Susie didn’t question it at the time, she was too focused on making sure that Tenna was feeling okay to worry about the little puppet.
As soon as Tenna was able to get up, the crew who helped put him back together all guided the CRT back inside of the studio to warm up. But not long after, the fountain for this world was closed, just like it was in Spamton’s world and the Card Kingdom’s before it. Which could only mean one thing… Tenna was going to be brought into Castletown as well.
Tenna was glooby for a long time once he was relocated to Castletown. He tried to keep it together for Kris and Susie’s sake, but it was all an act. He was always smaller than his usual self, sulking around when nobody was looking, only dancing his familiar cabbage patch jig when the lightner kids came close. It made sense though, considering he’d just lost his entire dark world and his family all in the same day. Tenna always held out hope that he would find a new loving home, despite his antenna being bent and his box having a crack in the side. But as much as Susie tried to comfort Tenna and promise him she’ll find a new home for him, the days turned into weeks and Tenna still didn’t have a home. Ralsei tried to make Tenna feel more comfortable by giving him his own room in the castle, so he had somewhere to sleep that wasn’t the TV Time minigames building downtown. It helped a little, but he still seemed depressed. He was a TV without any viewers, so naturally he felt like his life no longer had a purpose.
Spamton watched over Tenna from afar. How could he not?? He helped put that damn [Boob Tube] back together, after all! He deserved to know how he was doing now that he was back on his feet. But Spamton knew better, he wasn’t going to approach Tenna, no of course not. He didn’t think his cracked heart could handle one more event like the foam incident…
He spied on Tenna from around the corner, or watched through shop windows, always keeping himself out of Tenna’s sight. He overheard conversations between Tenna and Ralsei as they spoke from either end of Tenna’s door, too. [It’s not eavesdropping if he lives in the same castle and just so happened to walk by as they were talking!] The way Tenna described how he was feeling reminded Spamton a lot of himself. They both seemed to lack purpose.
On one such day, Spamton was peeking out from around the corner, watching as Ralsei talked to Tenna through his door. Tenna was, once again, lamenting about how useless he felt and how much he missed the lightners.
“You sound a lot like another friend of mine,” Ralsei said, his paw resting up against Tenna’s door, “He feels lost and alone now too. He feels like he no longer has any direction in life, just like you. Perhaps you two could find solace in each other’s company?” he suggested.
Spamton’s head snapped up when he realized who Ralsei was talking about, and a quick glitch zapped through his body. No, he can’t see Tenna, he can’t bring himself to look him in the screen after everything that happened!
Tenna’s door opened a crack, and the CRT peeked his antennae out as he spoke quietly. “...I suppose… it couldn’t hurt to try and meet someone new,” he sniffled, “What’s his name?”
“Well… you may have actually already met him…” Ralsei started with a soft smile. He glanced off to the side, in the direction that Spamton was hiding around the corner. “...His name is Sp-”
“HIS NAME IS [not important to this conversation!]!!” Spamton suddenly spoke up loudly, interrupting Ralsei and making the young prince flinch in surprise as Spamton ran up to Ralsei’s side and tugged on his cloak. “I NEED TO [speak to the manager] IN PRIVATE FOR [uno momento],” he glared up at the goat prince.
A yelp came from the other side of Tenna’s door before it swung open the rest of the way, revealing Tenna in a cowering pose, leaning backwards away from Spamton. “Oh ANGEL! It’s that thing, that ugly rat thing again!! It’s come back for revenge!!” he cried, backing away from the doorway and further into his room. “Where’s my spray foam??” he exclaimed. The fact that such a large darkner was afraid of such a tiny little guy was admittedly comical, much like an elephant being scared of a mouse. Ralsei couldn’t help but giggle a little with one paw over his grinning face.
“Mr. Tenna, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Ralsei assured him, “This is the friend I was telling you about! His name is Sp-”
“SPEN…CER…! SPENCER, MY NAME IS SPENCER!” Spamton interrupted Ralsei yet again, a drop of sweat beginning to drip down his forehead. But Ralsei huffed and reached down to flick Spamton across the nose.
“No, I refuse to lie to Mr. Tenna, that is not your real name!” Ralsei replied, as Spamton reached up to rub his nose with a little grumble. “You cannot keep running away from your problems. Now as the prince of this castle, I command you to stay and talk things out like civilized adults!” he said with a stamp of his foot. And then, Ralsei put his paws on Spamton’s shoulders and pushed him inside Tenna’s room, much to both his and Tenna’s dismay. A shocked yelp escaped Tenna’s lips as he backed further away from Spamton. Spamton turned back around to face Ralsei, only to see the little goat shutting the door and locking it from the outside. “I’ll be waiting right outside until you two settle your differences. Now go on Mr. Spamton…” Ralsei’s muffled voice spoke from behind the closed door.
Spamton heard Tenna gasp from behind him, and when he turned back around to face the tall CRT, he found him staring down at him with his mouth hanging slack-jawed and his antennae pulled back against the top of his head.
“D-Did… he just call you Spamton?” his voice came out as nothing but a whimper.
[Well, the metaphorical cat’s out of the bag now…]
Spamton’s shoulders hunched and he looked away, tapping his plastic fingertips together as he bore a hole in the ground with his eyes. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, trying to figure out what to say.
“[Spamton G. Spamton, that’s my name!] [don’t wear it out!].” The voice line that played was something that Spamton used to say a lot back in the day, but now it was nothing but a crackly recording that his damaged voice box could replay. But it got the point across well enough, as tears started to form on Tenna’s screen.
“There’s… There’s no way. You’re not Spamton. Y-You can’t be Spamton!” Tenna cried as the tears began to fall.
“THE ONE AND [the king of only-]...” Spamton replied quietly.
☆☆☆
It took weeks before the ex-partners actually tried to speak civilly to one another.
The night Ralsei shoved the two of them into a room together did not end well, that was for sure. The prince hoped that after some angry shouting they’d finally start to talk things out, but when he started to hear objects being thrown he had to intervene and separate them. The two were both seething and shouting at one another when Ralsei burst in. They were both crying and screaming bleeped obscenities, and Tenna held a chair in his hands like he was about to throw it at Spamton. Thankfully they froze when the prince came inside, because there was no way the young goat would’ve been able to stop an angry rampaging boss darkner like Tenna. Ralsei gathered Spamton up and guided him out of Tenna’s room, but not without having the last say. Spamton slew a few last-minute insults over his shoulder on the way out, and the door slammed hard behind them.
Well, that was a failure, but at least now Tenna knows that Spamton is still alive; the rest is up to them now, if they wish to fix things between them…
For a while they tried to avoid each other at all costs. If either saw the other in the street they’d purposely cross to the other side to avoid them, and if they ran into each other in the castle they’d flash each other dirty glares, not saying a word. But soon enough, Tenna started to feel that familiar gravitational pull that he used to have back when he and Spamton were partners. The deep-rooted desire to be close to him and make sure he was okay. And he HATED it! He was still mad at Spamton! That little asshole abandoned him and caused his show to fail! He broke his heart and left without a word! How could he still care about someone who hurt him so deeply?
One night, Tenna was laying in bed when he found himself playing through his old memories, which he’d taped for posterity. He watched through the day the Dreemurs opened him up and put him on his pedestal in the living room. Tenna found himself tearing up as he watched Asgore call him a ‘beaut’ and Toriel gave him soft head pats.
The next tape was Tenna’s first live show; god he looked so young back then, so lean and muscular! He couldn’t help but look down at himself to compare. He ran a hand over the bumpy soldered spots on his shoulder where one of his arms was re-attached, while he looked down at his pudgy belly and love handles with a sad little sigh. He used to be the new tech for the time, and now look at him… old, outdated, outmoded… unwanted.
Tenna played through tape after tape, memory after memory. He laughed, he cried, he yearned, he mourned. The final tape that he found in his box was unlabeled, but the date on the tape itself said 20XX. This must be a really recent tape then. He popped it into his VCR and pressed play, only to be greeted with a lot of static and distant voices. It was hard to make out what was being said, and the screen was all white and fuzzy with gray static. Maybe this tape got damaged? Tenna was about to just eject it and toss the tape, when a voice came out clearer than before. It was a voice he recognized.
“I FOUND HIM!!! YOU [2] GO GATHER HIS [armed and dangerous], EVERYONE ELSE, HELP ME [lift the load]!”
And then, a figure came into view on the screen… a tiny figure that climbed up into view and then leaned its face in closer to the camera. Turns out, the ‘static’ that Tenna was seeing wasn’t really static, it was snow. And the figure, it was Spamton!
“CATHODE! OH [Angel almighty] ARE YOU [okey dokey]??” Spamton’s worried voice asked as he reached out towards the camera. The screen flickered and flashed with color bars for a moment as Spamton adjusted the ‘camera,’ which was actually Tenna’s head, straightening it out. “PLS TELL ME YOU’RE STILL [with it, kid] ME!” Spamton’s voice crackled with static and glitchy beeps. Tenna could hear faint, labored breathing as well behind the quiet static and the sounds of footsteps crunching in the snow. A couple of pippins came into view, each one dragging one of Tenna’s severed, sparking limbs behind them as they brought them closer.
By now Tenna recognized where this was from. This was from when he was attacked by the Knight. The fall must’ve caused his box to malfunction and start recording, because he knew he wasn’t actively choosing to record one of the most terrifying moments in his life. Tenna’s body started to shiver, he didn’t want to watch, but he also couldn’t stop watching. His employees were gathering around to help save him. And Spamton was there too… how was he there, and why was he helping him?? He thought that he hated him! Tears started to build up in the corners of his screen as he continued to watch the hazy, glitching memory play out.
Spamton was directing people on where to move Tenna and how to reattach his arms, all while he had his chest compartment open and was hastily working to rejoin broken wires and solder busted parts back together. The puppet appeared stressed and scared, and he uttered bleeped curse words as sparks zapped at his fingertips while he worked.
“YOU’RE GONNA BE [a-okay] [ten-cent], I WON’T LET YOU DIE,” Spamton muttered as he connected two wires that caused a whirring sound to be heard as the snow around them lit up with flickering light. Spamton got his screen working again.
“We got his arms reattached and I think they’re wired right, I saw his hand twitch!” a pippins’ voice spoke from Tenna’s left side.
“ALRIGHT, THEN WE’RE GONNA NEED TO [reboot the system], AND HE SHOULD COME BACK TO US,” Spamton said as he shut Tenna’s control panel. He patted Tenna’s metal chest and looked back up to his face. “PLEASE BE OKAY…” he begged before he heard someone shouting and he looked over his shoulder.
Susie was running over, calling out Tenna’s name before she skidded onto her knees in the snow right up in front of Tenna. She took hold of Tenna’s box and looked at him with worry plain as day on her face.
“Is he gonna be okay?? Did you get him fixed?” she asked urgently. Tenna didn’t get to hear her response, because the camera cut off after that since his system got restarted.
Tenna ejected the tape and looked down at it, tears flowing down his face by now. He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t have if he didn’t have the video proof. Spamton, the man who just a few days ago claimed to hate his guts and wished him harm… helped to save his life. Why?? Why would he do that? Tenna just couldn’t understand. He trembled and sobbed into his hands, unsure of how to feel or what to do about this information.
He always believed that Spamton was the bad guy here, because every good story has a hero and a villain! Spamton was the one who left, he abandoned him after stringing him along for years. Playing with his feelings, making him believe that he actually loved him! But now, knowing that Spamton came back. In fact, he came back and chose to save his life when he didn’t even need to… it changed Tenna’s perspective.
“If he were in this same situation, would I have gone to help save him?” he thought.
Of course he would… because deep down, below all the anger and hurt, he still loved that little idiot. He loved him… and he missed him…
“...I need to go find him and apologize…” Tenna said to himself, and he got up off his bed and threw on his robe.
Spamton was awoken to the sound of knocking on his door. The puppet lazily picked himself up off the bed and tottered over to the door.
“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I’M [coming in], DON’T GET YOUR [panties] IN A TWIST,” Spamton called, before he hopped up to grab the door knob and opened his door. And to his surprise, on the other side of the door was Tenna, shrunken down until he was even tinier than Spamton, with big fat tears rolling down his screen. “WHA-? [cathode]? WHAT ARE YOU DOING [here at a time like this]? AND WHY ARE YOU [shrinky-dinky]??” Spamton asked, his eyes widening behind his glasses. But then he was even more shocked when Tenna rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Spamton’s waist, hugging him tightly as he buried his face into Spamton’s chest with a barely-choked-back sob.
“I-I’m so sorry!” Tenna cried as his tears quickly started to wet down Spamton’s sleep shirt, “I’m sorry I’m so so sorry!” he continued to sob.
“[sorry we missed you] ABOUT WHAT NOW??” Spamton sputtered in response, not really knowing how to react as he just stood there with his arms held outward at his sides as he stared down at Tenna squeezing onto him. But Tenna couldn’t form words to explain why he was sorry, all he could do was sob and hiccup pathetically as he gripped Spamton impossibly tighter. “[ten tons] YOU’RE… CRUSHING… ME…!” Spamton wheezed out, his hands glitching while his head twitched. Finally, Tenna released him and stepped back a few steps, wiping at his screen with his arm.
“...S-Sorry…” he muttered again.
“YES WE [established a motive] THAT, BUT Y??” Spamton replied, pinching his wet shirt between two fingers and peeling it away from his chest with a little grimace.
“...I know you saved my life, back in TV World,” Tenna replied quietly. Spamton dropped the fabric and brought his head back up to stare at Tenna, dumbfounded. “I saw it in my memory tapes-” Tenna continued, “-And… I-I don’t understand why you saved me… considering what I did to you.”
The CRT sniffled and wiped at his face again with the back of his hand, his lower lip quivering. “You saved my life, and here I am threatening to spray you with foam and step on you and throw a chair at you…”
“AND DON’T FORGET [are you trying to threaten me?] 2 RIP MY [head and shoulders] OFF,” Spamton added, folding his arms at his chest.
Tenna’s antennae drooped down against the sides of his box and he looked away. “Yeah… and that…” he mumbled. He took in a long, shaky breath and then continued. “I’m a horrible person. I-I’m so sorry… for everything,” he whimpered as more tears started to trickle down his screen.
Spamton just stared at Tenna for a few minutes of silence. He was busy mulling over how he thought, and whether he felt sorry too or not. It’s true that he helped save Tenna from dying out there in the snow. Why he did that, he still wasn’t 100% certain of either, but he knew he couldn’t just let him die. Tenna may have cost him everything thanks to that contract he had him sign, but he didn’t know that any of this would happen. He didn’t know that he was entangled with a higher power that controlled his every decision. He didn’t know how badly that contract would’ve changed the course of his life. That wasn’t his fault. How could he have known? Everything he used to tell himself to feel better about his shitty life was falling apart… every time he blamed that “lying CRT” for his problems, it wasn’t really Tenna’s fault… it was his own.
Finally, Spamton blinked a few times to clear the static from his glasses, and he could hear quiet, high-pitched sniffling from below him. He looked down to find Tenna, no bigger than a toy, sitting on the floor and quietly crying to himself. Spamton sighed a loud, dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes, then he reached down to scoop Tenna up into his segmented hands.
“OKAY, ALRIGHT [boob tube], ENOUGH WITH THE [crocodile tears],” Spamton said as he wiped one of his fingers across Tenna’s tiny screen. “I 4GIVE YOU [I guess],” he mumbled as quietly as his voice box would allow. “YOU DIDN’T [know your ABCs] WHAT YOU WERE [getting yourself into]... IT’S NOT YOUR F4ULT… YOU DIDN’T KNOW.”
Tenna whimpered and hugged onto Spamton’s finger. “I wanted to stay mad at you forever, but I can’t… not after all you did to help me,” he said, his voice coming out higher in pitch because of his small size. “I… I miss you Spammy… I’ve always missed you.”
A small tear slipped out from under Spamton’s glasses and trickled down his plastic face. “I [mist] YOU TOO TENS…” he replied before quickly reaching up to wipe away the tear with his free hand.
Tenna grew a bit bigger in Spamton’s hands, though he was still small enough that the puppet could hold onto him. The CRT wiped at his screen again and then looked up at Spamton’s face, taking a good long look at that unchanging smile and the faint visage of eyes from behind his glasses. “C-Can we try starting over?” Tenna finally asked, “I don’t want to hate you anymore. I’m tired of holding onto this anger…”
Spamton stared back down at Tenna for a few more moments in thought, before finally he nodded. “YEAH… WE CAN [let’s get this party started] OVER.”