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“Robin.” Steve stops her before they leave the Squawk. He’s not sure why. Maybe stalling before the big battle. Maybe he’s still reeling from getting emotional with Henderson- or maybe he’s just genuinely a good friend. The world may never know. “Hey. Before we go… I just wanted to say I’m really proud of you.”
“Oh.” She turns to face him, face still bruised and beaten but alive. Steve can’t help but catalogue it, in case it’s the last time he ever sees it. “Thanks…? Proud of… what exactly?”
Steve’s not totally sure how to say this. “For… For helping little Byers out,” he decides with a little gesture back towards the now-empty room, where Will just came out to… everyone (literally everyone. Steve isn’t totally sure why he was there, but he’s grateful Will decided to trust him. But… Murray? Really?). “I know you’ve been talking to him a lot and… well, clearly it’s helped him feel more sure of himself.”
“Oh.” Robin offers him a little smile. “I mean, I guess we have been talking a bit. He’s a really sweet kid, Steve, he deserves to be happy.”
“Yeah, he really does.” Steve’s known Will for years- admittedly never had to take care of him in the same way as the others, but he knows better than to discriminate against the boy. Wheeler would actually bite his head off, for one- followed by Sinclair and Henderson helping to tear up the rest of his body. El would probably throw him into the abyss with her powers, and Max would laugh and say “good riddance”.
Those five do not fuck around about Will Byers.
And, well, Steve doesn’t blame them. Will Byers happens to be the nicest one of the bunch, pretty much without a doubt. And he’d say that to their faces. If anything, he wishes he’s spent more time with the kid. But fate never paired them together, for whatever reason.
“It’s been nice to talk to someone about all of this, too,” Robin is saying, leaning back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. “You know, other than Vickie. It’s nice to feel like I’m helping someone, and also to kind of… reflect, I guess, on how I got to where I am? And now Will’s on his journey too, he knows that Mike’s is just his Tammy, and now he can… you know, really start to live. Hopefully he can find his Vickie too, and-”
Hold on-
“Wait, wait, wait- time out-” Steve puts his hand up to interrupt. He’s sure he must have misheard her. “Did you just say Mike Wheeler is Will’s Tammy? Like- your first unrequited crush?” Key word unrequited?
Steve probably could have gone about that a bit more delicately, because Robin freezes. Actually, she doesn’t just freeze- she looks totally and utterly horrified. “Oh.” Robin takes a step back. “Fuck. No- No, I was not supposed to say that out loud- you need to forget I heard about that, I- fuck-”
Except Steve did hear that. He very much did hear it.
Robin compared Michael Wheeler to Tammy Thompson.
Clearly, there’s something else important that he should be paying attention to, but all Steve can think is- that’s wrong.
That is so very wrong.
Robin is freaking out, for objectively all the wrong reasons. She keeps pacing around the room like it’s a race track. There are tears in her eyes- oh shit she’s really freaking out. “Steve- Steve, I’m so serious, you cannot repeat that to anyone- god, I’m such an asshole, I can’t believe I just- it just slipped out, I’m so fucking tired- fuck that’s not an excuse, I’m a terrible friend, but- really, not a soul can know- seriously, I swear to god, Steve, I-”
“Robin,” Steve decides it’s his time to be helpful. “I’m pretty sure Mike is gay for Will.”
“I-” Robin stops in her tracks, and Steve practically sees her brain shut off and restart. She blinks hard. Her brain turns back on again. One second passes. Two. Then Robin’s back online- she inhales sharply, eyes locking back into him. “What did you just say??”
And really, Steve can’t believe he’s the one spelling it out for her. You’d think he’s the gay one.
Which he’s not. Obviously.
“I’m pretty sure,” Steve says slowly. “Mike Wheeler is gay. For Will Byers.”
That sits between them for a moment. Honestly, Robin’s expression is pretty hilarious. She looks more overwhelmed by this than the fact that they just made a plan to scale the radio tower to climb into another dimension. “Since when?!”
…Is she serious? “Since, like, forever?”
“What?!”
“Hang on- we’re talking about the same people here, right?” Steve turns to face her, brow furrowed. “Mike Wheeler and Will Byers. Like, little brothers of our dear friends Nancy and Jonathan?”
“Yes, Steve, we’re talking about the same people- what other people could we be-” Robin cuts herself off, takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll humor you. What’s your reasoning?” She asks. “Because you had a crush on me, so like- forgive me if I don’t immediately believe you.”
“Okay, I had a crush on you for like- all of two seconds, first of all,” Steve lets out a sigh. “And my reasoning is… well, have you seen them interact?”
“I-“ Robin pauses. Her eyes go a little distant, like she’s thinking. “Yeah, of course I have.”
“And?” Steve insists.
“And I… I don’t know!” Robin protests. “I guess for a second I thought maybe, but then- then Mike walked away and Will looked so sad! And I thought- oh, well, I’ve been there before.”
Huh. Steve doesn’t know Will super well, but he knows the kid is an overthinker. “How did Mike look?”
“Mike-“ Robin pauses. Swallows. “I… I didn’t really look.”
“Robin!” Steve groans.
“Sorry I was paying attention to my new friend, Steve!” Robin insists. “Who, did I mention, looked sad??”
“I guarantee you that Michael was grinning like an idiot,” Steve insists back. “If you’d cared to look at the other member of the party.”
“Why would he look happy??” Robin protests.
“Because he’s always happy talking to Will!” Steve shakes his head. “Have you seriously never noticed this?? They’re always like- like this!” He intertwines two fingers. “Mike was miserable when Will moved away.”
“At the same time El moved away,” Robin insists.
“Wow, his superhero girlfriend and his best friend who he’s secretly in love with move away at the same time, and he’s miserable?” Steve throws his arms up in the air. “Who would have guessed?”
She groans. “Steve, I swear to god-”
“Robim, I swear to god,” Steve shakes his head. “Have you seen the way Wheeler looks at him? You think that’s totally platonic? Really?”
“I- I mean… maybe not totally…” Robin admits, recognition flickering in her eyes. “But… he’s dating Will’s sister.”
“Really? Still??” Steve can’t help but sound outraged. “Are you sure about that? When’s the last time you saw them kiss? Or like… hang out? Or do anything romantic?”
“I… I don’t know, maybe they’re just- not affectionate anymore!” Robin’s face is turning totally red. Steve can tell by her tone that she doesn’t believe it herself anymore. “Maybe… Maybe they’ve finally grown out of the honeymoon phase, I don’t know!!”
“That’s so besides the point,” Steve shakes his head. “You seriously didn’t pick up on any of… you know, the gay stuff between Mike and Will?! It always seemed pretty fucking obvious to me. I mean, do you remember the amount of times they came into Scoops together?”
“I-” Recognition fully dawns on her face, and Steve’s sure she’s remembering one of the thousand times they came in practically attached at the hip.
“How many times did Wheeler order him a cone?”
“That-” Robin tries to insist. “That’s not proof!”
“How many times did we watch Will tell Wheeler not to order him a cone, only for him to order one anyways?” Steve corrects. “I swear, they fight like an old married couple and they have since they were fucking thirteen.”
“I-” Robin shakes her head a little blankly. “I didn’t- oh god…”
“Robin, please tell me you didn’t tell Will that Mike’s his Tammy Thompson.”
“I-” She immediately covers her face with her hands. “I didn’t tell him that verbatim!”
“Robin.”
“I might’ve… implied it a little bit,” her voice comes out a squeak. “I didn’t know!”
“Jesus Christ, Robin!” Steve groans. “How didn’t you know?! He’s not subtle! He’s a Wheeler!”
“He’s been dating Eleven! For years!”
“And who has he spent more time with?? For years?” Steve insists, shaking his head. “You needed to tell Mike about Tammy Thompson, not Will! You needed to tell Will about Vickie!”
“I did tell him about Vickie too! I told him about both!” Robin tries to protest. “But I just- he seemed so sad, and I just… I didn’t want him to go through what I went through with Tammy, so I-”
“Except Mike Wheeler isn’t Tammy Thompson,” Steve stresses. “Anyone with eyes can see that.”
“Oh come on, I have eyes-”
“Didn’t you say Wheeler was losing his shit over Byers unlocking his powers?”
“I-” Robin looks almost ashamed. “Yeah…”
“Right. Just as much as Lucas and everyone else?”
Robin’s face is 100% red now. It makes the bruise around her eye stand out even worse. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
She is an idiot. And that’s coming from me. Steve lets out a heavy sigh. “Maybe you need eyes and a working brain in order to see it.”
“Oh shut the fuck up,” Robin pouts and smacks his shoulder. “Like you’re one to talk about having a working brain.”
Ouch. “Low blow, Rob.”
“Besides, you have custody over the brain cell right now. You need it- you’re more likely to die in battle.”
Unfortunately, she does have a point. Steve refuses to acknowledge it- the idea that either of them could die. They’re not going to. No one is going to. “Well, the good news is that I think it’s fixable.”
“Dying in battle?”
“This whole Mike-and-Will mess.”
“Oh.” Robin’s cheeks are still very flushed. “Right. Which is…?’
“I… don’t know,” Steve admits a bit sheepishly.
Robin, of course, takes full advantage, probably glad to be back on the offensive. “I thought you were the plan master now, Steve. What, you don’t have your slinky and now you’re out of ideas?”
“Fuck off, Buckley.” Steve huffs. His slinky plan is going to work, goddammit, and then he’s going to laugh in her face. Hard.
Robin smiles, then looks pained and buries her face back in her hands with another groan. “God. I’m such an idiot.”
Steve can’t help but laugh now. “Yep. You are.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t see that.”
“Yeah. Me neither.”
“I’m a failure to the gay community.”
Okay, jeez. “I don’t think I’d go that far.”
Robin peers through her fingers. “You wouldn’t?”
God, Steve really does love her. He smiles, shaking his head. “I mean. I don’t think I speak for the gay community, but no. I wouldn’t.”
Robin looks at him for a second, and then closes her fingers back up tight. “Now I’m rethinking everything. I can’t believe Steve Harrington has a better gaydar than me.”
“Gaydar?” Steve’s brow furrows.
“You know… gay radar?” Robin lets out a sigh. “It’s embarrassing that I have to explain that to you when yours apparently works better than mine.”
Oh. Steve nods. “Well hey, guess I’m good for something.”
“Yeah.” Robin meets his gaze with wide, pleading eyes. “How do I fix this?”
“Well. I think first you’ve got to talk to Wheeler,” Steve admits. “Seems like Byers has kind of made up his mind for now. But if anyone can get through to him, it’s Mike.”
“Oh.” Robin nods. “Okay. Yeah. Talk to Mike. Right. Easy.”
No. Not easy at all. Steve clamps her shoulder. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”
“What? You don’t think it’ll go well?”
“No, I think it’ll go great. Wheelers’ are notoriously really great at dealing with their feelings.”
Robin winces. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck.” Steve pauses, then lets out a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m giving relationship advice right now.”
Robin laughs too, shaking her head. “Yeah. Me neither, really.”
“Does it sound good?” Steve asks after a moment.
“Hell if I know.”
“You do know,” Steve insists. “Just because you missed spotting one gay guy in our friend group doesn’t mean that you’re a total failure.”
Robin lets out a huff, shaking her head. “Thanks… I think.”
Steve bumps her shoulder with his. “No problem. What are friends for?”
“One of us is gay, the other has gaydar,” Robin laughs, shaking her head. “Sounds like a tagline for a bad TV show.”
“Well, if we are in a TV show, I hope our writers make a good ending for this whole mess,” Steve admits with a gesture around them, like that even begins to encapsulate everything- the Upside Down, the crazy new dimension, everything going on with Will and Mike, with everyone…
“Yeah,” Robin lets out a sigh, resting her head on Steve’s shoulder. “Me too.”