Work Text:
1. In which naming a newborn is serious business.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
"No, dear. I'm almost through the entire list and he doesn't seem to like any of them. Here, let me show you. Gene? Hans? Henri? Ian? Jon?"
"Hold on. I don't think his expression has changed at all. What am I looking for?"
"Karl? Lars?"
"Honey, I don't know about this. Why can't we just choose a name for him and—"
"Lev—oh!"
"What? What is it? What happened?"
"Levi? Is that a—Levi? Oh my goodness, look darling! He likes it!"
"What. Wait. How. How can you tell?"
"He's your son, just look at him!"
"I am! And I still don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for!"
_________________________________
2. In which ingenuity takes flight.
For years, he'd depended on his athleticism, speed, and sheer drive to survive in the world beneath the Walls. Being as compact in size as he was, he'd made do to overcome the disadvantages and really build on the advantages. He'd never dwelt long on the fact that he'd always been smaller than his peers; instead, he worked his body to the extreme, utilising all his attributes to their fullest, training lean muscle from years of evading the police, exploring supposedly off-limit areas, and completely pulverizing opponents at least twice his size into submission.
Levi balanced lightly on the balls of his feet. He surveyed the wide expanse of the distant horizon from his bird's eye view. But really, who would have thought his less-than-noble beginnings would have proven so useful to his new-found calling in life?
"Your results continue to impress the higher-ups, Levi," Erwin called up from the base of his perch. "I don't think any of us has seen a trainee take to the equipment quite like you."
Levi sniffed. As if those sedentary shitpails knew anything about what it was like to hurtle through the air at breakneck speeds, propelled by nothing but fuel and an ingeniously designed cable system. Most of those higher-ups were simple-minded idiots who couldn't tell their right hand from their anuses.
He let his commanding officer know as much.
Erwin laughed. "Be that as it may, you really are making an impression. Especially if you stay up there. Come down? Pixis would like to speak with you."
Levi sighed.
"You could come back to train with the gear again after? But seriously, Levi, I think you're making the guards nervous."
"Why?"
Erwin hesitated. And it might have been his imagination, but Levi thought the older man looked a touch nervous himself.
"Well, according to Beck here, the longer you stay up there, the more you look like you're about to clean the entire—oh, damn it."
Oh. Oh. Levi blinked. He hummed speculatively, Erwin's increasingly exasperated commands fading to the backdrop.
Why didn't he think of it sooner? All those once unreachable surfaces; all those once uncleanable corners. He could see it already in his mind's eye, and it was beautiful.
The possibilities were endless.
_________________________________
3. In which nobody should be surprised, at all.
Levi surveyed the fruits of his labour, the results of his eminent domain. The pleas for mercy from the defeated foes still clung to the crisp morning air in glittering echoes. He breathed in deep, reveling in the blanket of success that settled into his very soul.
Lemon-fresh and perfect.
_________________________________
4. In which all their problems could be solved, if only.
He'd only been in the tent alone with Hanji's newest acquisition for less than two minutes, when the scientist burst into the confined space with a flurry of panicked limbs and a distraught "Levi, what did you do?"
Levi offered his colleague a nonplussed glance. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he said.
"You must have done something, oh poor Tristan, look at him, he's crying."
Levi squinted at the restrained 5 meter class with a critical eye. "He's probably wishing he can take a shit."
Hanji shot him an exasperated look before turning back to fuss over her experiment subject, neatly sidestepping the Titan's almost piteous attempt to chew on her feet in the process. "Don't be silly. You know very well they don't have any excretory orifices."
When Levi made eye contact with the Titan's grotesque visage again from behind Hanji's back, he reveled in the thin thread of satisfaction at the renewed bouts of waterworks spouting from its eyes. "Exactly."
_________________________________
5. In which the rumour mill is a vicious machine.
"They say when the Captain smiles, unicorns are born!"
"Huh. Really? That's not what I heard."
"What are unicorns?"
"Who knows. They're probably some super deviant class of Titans that went extinct."
"Well, I heard from Izak—remember, old dude from the 102nd stationary corp?—that when the Captain smiles, all women within a one kilometer radius get pregnant."
"... I heard it was men, actually."
Levi huffed out a single breath of amusement. Hidden from sight and sound, he allowed himself another moment of mess hall gossip before stepping away on silent feet.
Dumbasses, all of them.