Archive of Our Own

She's wet. Soaked, really. And, without her usual thrusters, her propeller setup for this mission isn't doing nearly as much in the way of generating heat. So, she's still dripping as Grandiose City comes into view across the horizon.

This isn't a problem, not technically, at least. She's 99.9997% waterproof, according to her personal databanks, and as verified by the Haltman Works Co. Science Team in 2018. Especially so after having spent the past few days deep underwater—if there were a point of concern, she'd already have been aware and working towards self-repair.

No, it's the other thing. The obvious thing, seeing as that moment had made its way out during Susie's brief period at the helm of things.

Ugh.

It's so cold, above the seas. Frigid winter night air surrounding her and stubbornly keeping the wetness on her from evaporating off her. She can't sense these things, not exactly, not in the way she knows humans and organic figments can. But she doesn't enjoy them.

Her ocular lights (well, light... she'll fix the broken one... later) brighten up the waves ahead of her, the warm light reflecting and refracting against the water. But the range is narrow, and the city on the horizon is still so far.

But, this is something she can address, is it not? She's a machine—one with many complex, higher-order functions; but also one with various lower-energy and autonomous ones. She can just shut—

[ST] This is an automated message sent every 5 minutes to be received by The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 upon its expected and hopeful return to the communication radius of the HWC employee line. If received, please respond immediately.

[DA] If you're okay, Joke-Explainer, *please* respond as soon as you can! I'm sending out automated messages both on the official Science Team line and this personal one in the hope that we're merely having communication issues and you will reach out soon... Please be safe.

Oh dear. Dozens, if not hundreds of repeated pings reverberate through her, the signals making themselves known to her. She'd lost track of time, but she's definitely been unreachable for several hours.

[JE] Hello? Dr. Andonuts? It's me. I have retrieved the anomaly we were detecting and am about 15 minutes out from returning to the city.

[JE] I'm sorry for worrying you. The submersible's comms were damaged by the Halberd, followed by much of the rest of it. We all managed to escape unharmed.

She flies a few minutes further, keeping herself fully attentive to make sure she doesn't miss any reply. She feels... guilty, after all the assurances she gave him at the start of this mission.

As the shoreline makes itself clearer in her vision, she feels a transmission ping. Then, before she can properly process it, her ringtone. She answers the call.

"Hello?"

"Joke-Explainer!", the call-compressed voice of Dr. Andonuts rings through her. "My god, I was so worried. I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your contact sooner— I had stepped away for a moment and we've been scanning for your presence for hours and—"

"Doctor! Please, I'm alright, I promise. I've sustained some minor damag—"

"Oh de—"

"—es that I have already assessed to be within my self-repair abilities to address," she continues with some force, "as a result of some necessary conflict to capture the anomaly with the Game Boy Fright. I'm... I'm okay."

A muffled sigh comes through the line. "Thank goodness. How far off are you now?"

Joke-Explainer refocuses on her surroundings. She's close, The Voice's Tower near enough to begin to loom over her. Just a few minutes more, she thinks. She tells the doctor as much.

"I'll be returning through the main entrance of the tower... I can't manage much more than a light glide at the moment, so I can't use the landing bay. I'll make my way through the city and back to the lab."

She starts to pass over some of the aquatic inhabits of the area that live along the nearby surface—no shortage of boats to accompany them, a few familiar faces drawing her eyes, even.

"You know, doctor, I don't know when... if ever... I last left the city. It feels so different to see it from outside with my own eyes. I... might have done so a long, long time ago. Before my responsibilities had expanded and—"

Dr. Andonuts cuts her off, finishing her thought. "...before the city was transformed by the Voice."

"Yes. But after...", she trails off. Not worth wondering about him right now. "It's just... interesting, to compare it against that. I don't get experiences like this much."

She loses herself a bit, watching the world move around her as she propels herself across the shoreline and through the city streets. Making her way home.

The Haltmann Works Co. lobby is relatively sparse. Outside of the primary events of lore, and especially as far as her experience is concerned, not much is done to secure the building when none is warranted by narrative.

Even still, her breath catches slightly when one of the elevators opens, even if just to reveal a familiar face.

"Hello, Dr. An—!"

She fails to manage the exclamation before being pulled into a tight, warm (figuratively) embrace.

And that bit of ignored tension that had been in her since they stopped the Heavy Lobster and the water started flowing loosens just a bit. A tired giggle escapes her.

"Hi, doctor..." she murmurs.

"Welcome back," he says with a light squeeze, then letting her go and stepping back, albeit with one of his hands moving to keep a grip on her shoulder. "I'm incredibly glad to see you've returned safely. That was... a much more dangerous mission than I anticipated it being. I would never have sent you down there if—"

"We were able to handle it. Undyne and Bubble Man helped a lot, and while there were a few, um, threats aboard the Halberd alongside the anomaly, we were able to tackle them all! Including a part of the anomaly that had taken up the appearance of Meta Knight."

The scientist's worry is replaced by surprise.

"Meta Knight? Does this anomaly have some type of connection to him? I've unfortunately been rather... unable to gather much information due to the time displacement in effect for events around him, but that c—"

"I'm not entirely sure about that," Joke-Explainer cuts him off. "Whatever the anomaly was it seemed... incongruent. The pieces we found outside the Halberd appeared to be smaller, pixelated—possibly corrupted?—clumps of some kind. What we found inside the Halberd looked like a ghost, but was hiding that in armor resembling that commonly associated with Meta Knight. And it was much larger."

Dr. Andonuts scratches his chin in thought.

"Hmm... very curious," he says. "Well, regardless, we've caught it and can investigate it further in the days to come—possibly even reassemble it. But that, alongside the proper organization and archival of your mission report, can come later."

She tilts her head. "Later?", she asks.

"Yes, later. We should still run a diagnostic on you, to ensure you haven't been harmed in any ways—neither physically nor within your neura—"

"Doctor, I- I already said, my self-diagnos—"

"Yes, yes," he interrupts her response, "I'm just... I'm worrying too much, aren't I? I understand, you are capable of self repair. Call it the... remnants of an instinct I've ignored too much in the past..."

A creeping sensation of guilt spreads through her. She's fairly certain there's been no significant damage to her body through all this. She definitely will need to get some more proper maintenance done shortly, in particular to return her propulsion capabilities back to those designed for usage above water, but that is not an urgent matter at this moment. Then, in that case...

"I was hoping to check on the SiIvaGunner channel some, now that I've returned, and then possibly have a more formal maintenance check after both that and the initial anomaly investigation is complete? If I've been counting correctly, I think I've left you running the channel for much of the past month and, especially if this anomaly needs to be investigated more, I don't want it to continue to take much of your attention or ener—"

Dr. Andonuts stops her with a firm smile and the raising of a placating hand. "I mean this as kindly as I possibly can, Joke-Explainer, but you will certainly be doing no such thing for at least a couple days."

"I'm sorry?"

"It is company policy that, following any outgoing missions—especially any that came to pose a threat to life—all employees are required to take some rest and pass a mental health assessment prior to returning to work... And, much more importantly, I promised I would make sure you took care of yourself. This is part of that."

If she were capable of blushing, she would be. She instinctively bows her head in apology.

But, it's still a tough thing to accept. She's a bit hesitant to admit it, but she sometimes chafes internally against their shared management of the channel. The details of DIRECTIONAL PROTOCOL 1-A demand she manage the channel until a long-term host can be found, and work to find such a host. Their co-hosting arrangement deprioritizes that, sometimes even makes it feel as though she's violating that protocol.

(She's a machine with a directive to follow, which she must follow, lest she go...)

She freezes her motion and flushes her immediate memory, the closest thing to a deep breath she's capable of, and finishes her bow with a small nod of the head.

"I understand. I'll be going to my room, then. And... will see you in a few hours, maybe?"

"Ah, yes," the scientist agrees. "I've admittedly been up for... rather a long while. I'll be back at the apartment before long, after delivering the anomaly."

They'd started to refer to his personal lab as an apartment, at some point, deeming that it had begun to function more as the latter once it began to house two inhabitants.

And with that, she gives Dr. Andonuts the Game Boy Fright, and makes for the stairs.

She's very used to the trek down, thankful that her limbs weren't created to function like human muscles and get worn by any type of exertion. Most likely, nobody else uses the Tower's stairs nearly as much as she does—its sheer height easily pushes off HWC's primarily-organic staff from using them to go more than a floor or two.

She has to go down twenty.

But there's something of a zen to it, at least this time. Usually she can just drop down the middle and halt her descent around the correct floor, or otherwise thrust herself upward. Today's a bit different, but maybe that's okay!

The level is made up of a variety of personal lab-apartments, effectively quarantining off the Science Team's personal affairs from both one another and the rest of the building. Andonuts' is one of the nearest to the stairs and elevators—on account of his relatively seniority within the company.

Joke-Explainer unlocks the door and passes through to her own room—one of a few side rooms that they converted to a bedroom similar to the doctor's—stepping over and through some rather neglected scientific equipment as she does. She flicks on the light, the switch tied to a warm, dim lamp she keeps in the corner, and is finally greeted with the comforting sight of her space.

She'd... admittedly been a bit indulgent with it. There's the basics: a bed (at Dr. Andonuts' insistence), some seats, a desk, her laptop, a (rather large) wardrobe. For the channel, some of her audio and recording equipment (although most had been moved to the company's primary Rip Production Facility on the fourth floor in an effort to better maintain her work-life balance).

And then, the decorations, which had been much more newly bought by herself and the doctor. She has various posters scattered across her walls, depicting media she's found herself to have a particular fondness of, as well as some small figurines of some she's... a bit more embarrassed to show so visibly.

Alongside the wardrobe is a rather large rack of costumes: those she anticipates getting reuse in further events and that she wants to keep in the best condition she can. She's really developed a growing fondness for cosplay, something she hadn't really expected to develop out of the need she felt it played to keeping the channel's identity in line with current channel events.

Does it count as a hobby? Perhaps it does.

Finally, the bed. She struggled to see the purpose of such a thing at first. She has a functionally infinite energy supply and doesn't experience tiredness in the same manner humans do. She's a machine, after all, and machines don't need rest.

But that's been something she's been working on... recognizing that she's something much more complex than that. And her reality is that she still feels, has joints and casing and wiring that move and touch and flow.

But, yes, the bed. She never managed to get any of her pillows back from Stingy, instead opting to replace them. There's a fairly... ostentatious display of them along the head of the bed, an array of squares and circles of various colors and patterns, some meaningless, some rather meaningful. She got a few in particular back in June. In front of them, though, is a small row plushies.

She'd never owned any, when she lived on her own. Hadn't been able to justify doing so as a 'business expense'. But Dr. Andonuts had gifted her a small one in the shape of a shark and that had quite simply opened the floodgates for her. She'd eventually ended up ordering a good few more, and begun rotating them with new ones to match up with recent events she's hosted. Hence the Ralsei and Teto plushies right alongside the shark, which she'd never quite been able to get herself to swap out.

She removes her wetsuit and goggles, haphazardly throwing the pair into her hamper. Both had managed to dry off, and are therefore a problem for her to clean at a later time.

Joke-Explainer delves into her wardrobe, shoving past abandoned one-off skirts and blouses until she finds some personal comforts: a light green hoodie and some dark, striped leggings.

Something warm and comfy and soft.

She throws herself on the bed, letting herself relax and sink into the mattress. It's rather firm, by human standards, but she's rather heavy, and the foam molds itself to her shape.

Her joints immediately appreciate the lessened strain, finally being allowed to splay herself out and be held up in a way they hadn't since she'd surfaced from the water and begun to fly back hours ago. It's a very different sensation, though, but it's informative for her to have an experiential point of comparison.

Much of the experience was, really. She'd never been outside of the city, and an entire underwater village filled with many figments she could recognize but had, quite simply, never seen before was exciting. She'd been almost tempted to speak the connections she'd made out loud. Oh! She's a notable character from Splatoon 3, who provided the vocals for this or that track. Him? He's from a 2011 Cartoon Network show. And so on, and so forth.

And some parts of the mission weren't so great. She... could have done without some events. S-she really could have done without the confirmation of...

But on the flip side, she knows she can't drown. That the rules of reality don't match what she experienced. That that fear was... irrational. That... That...

She's not relaxing... is she?

But she needs to relax! She's been mandated to relax! And she's been doing so well, lately. Been stopping herself, been putting her laptop away. Ignoring the compulsions she so often feels, setting aside her purpose when necessary for the sake of self preservation. Her directive does state she is to conserve herself in lieu of active stimulus, she can do that, yes? She's lying, motionless, atop a foam mattress, there's literally nothing to draw her attention.

No jokes to explain, no comments to moderate, nothing to archive, nothing to retrieve. Just her pure experience.

She— She—

>:[

There's an option she has to deal with this. One that she uses... much more often than she wants to admit. The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 has to keep its faculties, after all, to ensure it can properly explain the joke. To be unable to, to sacrifice her proper functioning, would constitute a malfunction.

But, she has a prescription, doesn't she? And the people who could see her in such a state... already have. There's no responsibilities waiting for her, no real reason not to.

So. She gets up, opens her desk drawer, and grabs her vape. It plugs into a port on the side of her scalp, conforming to a... specialized version of the Universal Serial Bus standard.

So, not standard. But good for weed, thankfully.

Then, back on the bed she goes, waiting. For the vapors to get into her system. Shouldn't take long and, hey, the act of taking it at least managed to divert her thoughts a little bi—

blip bleeep

[S] Welcome back.

Right. She probably deserves a proper fill-in, after dropping out of contact like she did.

[JE] Hi. Sorry, forgot to let you know about the mission.

[S] Nothing to a apologize about. I was aware regardless.

[S] Glad to hear of your safe return, though. Seems like things were not quite as harmless as Dr. Andonuts had been expecting...

[JE] Mhm. Did you hear my calls with him about the details?

[S] Yes, I have. An ability to control Haltmann Works Co. machinery is... distressing. Or, perhaps, was. Assuming all parts of it were found—they're analyzing that right now, if you were wondering.

[JE] Oh. I wasn't... I don't think I'm really supposed to? I've been mandated to take a break... Doctor's orders.

[S] Heehee, he truly has been taking his responsibility over you seriously!

[JE] You know it's not just an arrangement like that, Susie. We've just been... taking care of each other.

[JE] Which applies to you, too, you know.

[S] Hmm, but I've hardly been doing anything, you know? Not since my little 'takeover'.

A laugh escapes her.

[JE] You do realize you won't succeed in convincing me you haven't been up to anything, right?

[S] And who's to say I haven't simply been enjoying the unexpected continuation of my existence?

[S] Perhaps I'm just enjoying watching the affairs of yourself and your counterpart?

[JE] Creepy

[JE] But you lost out on pretending you're up to nothing the moment you found Wood Man. So, too bad :P

[JE] Just don't work yourself so thin, this time okay?

[S] ...

[S] Eliding as to that possibility, I assure you that I've... lowered my rate of energy use significantly since December.

[S] So, please, do not be so concerned on my behalf, Joke-Explainer.

[JE] No, too bad. This goes both ways

[JE] You signed up for me invading your stuff

[JE] Should have kept yourself hidden if you didn't want to.

She's quite firmly sunk into the mattress at this point. Her limbs feel like lead, and this conversation is... nice.

Susie had made her presence known in August, a small signal on the channel that she was watching but uninvolved in events.

Joke-Explainer had found herself... curious to see if the line of communication they'd established still worked. To her surprise, it had.

[S] Noted.

[S] Have you considered how you will be spending your break?

[JE] I didn't expect a break so no

[JE] I was hoping to get back to work on the raves, on top of channel duties. There's... alot to prepare for.

[JE] Christmas isn't in all too long, either.

[S] How about we don't concern ourselves with those, for the moment?

[S] Was there anything interesting in the waters, besides the anomaly?

[JE] Don't you already know what's down there?

[S] I want you to tell me as you saw it. Would be nice.

[JE] I'm able to. Bit high but

[JE] I met Bubble Man. It's neat, being friends with another robot, especially one of Dr. Wily's creations. I only know Wood Man through transmissions of him, after all.

[JE] I also met Undyne! She's cool, but a bit intense sometimes. Protecting a large underwater city, I believe in the mold of one on Popstar. Her and Alphys are pretty cute together too, though it was a bit awkward overhearing their reunion.

[JE] I need to remember to send her a communicator for the two of them.

Reminder Created: send undyne alphys communicator for Tomorrow

[JE] I'm glad to reconnect them. They had something nice, at least in the canon of Undertale. Hopefully they can find something worthwhile in this universe, together.

[S] Sounds like you had fun, then.

[JE] Save for some parts, yes.

[S] Some parts?

[JE] "":)

[JE] Not telling u rn

[JE] That is for my mandated therapy session first.

[S] ...fair enough.

[S] Just take care of yourself, okay?

[JE] O

Her focus on the chat is destroyed by the noise of the door to the apartment closing.

"Joke-Explainer?"

"In my room, doctor!"

[S] ?

[JE] K

[JE] Sorry Dr. Andonuts just got back

[JE] I got distracted ´w`

[S] Oh! Tell him hello for me.

Dr. Andonuts knocks before opening the door a crack, letting it swing ajar and lingering in the doorway at the sight of her current state: left immobile by her own comfort and distracted occupation in communication.

"Susie says hello," she chirps out.

"Oh, tell her I said the same. And hope she's doing well—she's remarkably difficult to get ahold of without you around."

[JE] He says hi.

[JE] And hopes you're doing well.

[JE] And wishes you'd respond to his texts.

"How is the initial anomaly analysis?"

"Less clear than we'd like," Dr. Andonuts sighs. "It's rather difficult to process something that's actively trying to destroy the systems interacting with it... But that's not something to concern yourself with right now. I see you've managed to settle back in, some."

[S] What texts?

[S] The only one who contacts me so regularly is a certain purple robot.

[JE] -_-

[JE] A quick calculation shows I only initiate approximately 42.7% of our correspondences.

[JE] Make of that what you may.

"Yes... I might enter low power mode soon... Should probably clean things up further and then do so..."

"Oh, don't worry about that at this moment, my dear," the doctor says, affection in his voice. "I can—"

"No," she says. "I'll do it myself, doctor. Just... maybe in a few hours..."

[S] What can I say? I enjoy talking to you, Joke-Explainer. I look forward to the chance to do so, whenever it arises.

[JE] Just admit you like me...

[S] That seems unnecessary.

[JE] Rude.

[S] Good night, Joke-Explainer.

[JE] [message omitted]

"Good night," she mumbles.

A door closes in response.

[LOG END]