Work Text:
This body likes to sing. Suryong often finds himself humming — something he doesn't remember having the liberty for in his last life. Like clockwork, in life's quiet moments he hums to himself in the safety of his quarters.
He noticed when he first got reincarnated, he'd hum when carrying out simple tasks and catch his father smiling at him, perhaps at the assurance that his son was still here even without his memories. He'd hum tunes he couldn't quite place, the memories of the original Suryong locked away, safe, sacred.
Suryong's bedroom window directly faces the house where Ms. Soo teaches singing, girls and boys alike harmonize all day there. But still, the melodies do not match what he'd find himself muttering under his breath; far too perfect to be a match.
Soon after, he leaves for the Azure Dragon Academy selection exam. He never did find out the source of the melodies in his head.
The melodies are then followed by lyrics. Slowly his mind reveals more words and soon verses string together, completing what was left fragmented.
He doesn't sing when he knows someone could overhear, not only to protect his reputation but because it feels private— intimate.
A woman visits him in his dream.
She has his eyes or rather — he has hers.
Suryong's small — small?— hands clutch at her dress as she sits in bed, looking out the window. She's stroking his head gently while humming the sweet melody he has come to accept as his own. She smiles at him, it's different from when his father does — warm and reassuring — it's relaxed, content, she's trying to make the most of it while she can.
And so, Suryong remembers, not everything— not right now — but what matters. His mother's scent, the scrunch of her nose when she smiled; how she once fell over laughing at a joke his father made ending up ruining the neighbor's newly planted flowerbed. It's like he experiences a mother's love for the very first time, somehow making up for his last life.
Another memory creeps in — he's singing his mother's song on the days after her funeral while sneaking into his parents' bed. Laying next to his father, he knew he couldn't take away Muheun's grief so he found another way. Humming to remind himself, and comfort his father that she wasn't gone she was still here. Still present. His dad slept better than he had in days that night.
When he wakes, there are tears in his eyes, Suryong Baek does not cry easily. Not in this life or the one before.
And so, Suryong Baek mourns his mother a second time.