Chapter Text
Teddy was trying valiantly to keep his eyes open so he could stay awake until the end of the story, but glancing at him over the book as he read, it was obvious to Harry that his godson was fighting a losing battle. If they’d been reasonably close to the climactic scene, where Prongs, Padfoot, and Moony figured out where the evil master of dark potions was hiding and burst in on him before he could finish brewing his poisonous potion, Harry might have humored Teddy and pretended not to notice his head drooping. But he hadn’t even gotten to the part where Moony found the hidden message that the trio worked together to decode, and Harry had already noticed Teddy’s eyes close at least half a dozen times. Even if he did keep reading from the story Tonks had written about the Marauders (well, three of them, anyway), he knew that Teddy would be fast asleep long before he reached the final page.
“Time for bed, kiddo,” Harry said, closing the book. Instantly, his 4-year-old godson grunted and shook his head.
“Nuh uh,” the young metamorphmagus said, his hair shifting to a spiky brown, a sure sign that he was feeling stubborn. “Wanna hear the end.”
“You’ll never make it, Ted.” Harry watched Teddy’s eyes drift closed for a few seconds before he blinked several times and tried to pretend like he wasn’t half-asleep already. “Tell you what. You be good and go to sleep now without fighting me on it, and we can start reading time earlier tomorrow night. We can finish this story and read A Free Elf.” That was one of the shortest storybooks Tonks had written, so he should have time to read it all to Teddy tomorrow night, even after finishing what was left of this one.
Teddy seemed to consider that offer, trying to decide whether it was worth it to keep arguing that he wanted to try and stay awake and finish this story tonight, or if he should go to sleep and get a bonus story tomorrow. In the end, a great yawn proved to be the deciding factor that made Teddy’s decision for him.
“Promise?” his godson asked, keeping his eyes open to look up at Harry.
“I promise,” Harry assured him, making eye contact and nodding to show how serious he was. “You know I never break a promise if I can help it.” Teddy thought about that for a second or two before finally nodding, accepting Harry’s promise.
“Kay,” Teddy said. He yawned halfway through that single syllable, and his eyes closed immediately afterward. He’d visibly been teetering on the edge of falling asleep for at least five minutes, and now that he was not resisting any longer, he was fast asleep almost instantly, his chest rising and falling and his breathing getting deeper.
“Goodnight, Ted,” Harry whispered. He stood up from his chair beside Teddy’s bed, pulled the sheet tighter over him, and placed the closed book back on the small shelf, which was mostly filled with the various stories Tonks had written in her years since retiring from the aurors so she could raise Teddy and finding success in her new profession as a children’s author. He took a look back at the bed before walking through the door, and felt his heart melt a bit when he noticed that Teddy’s hair had changed after he’d fallen asleep, turning black and taking on a messy quality that Harry was all too familiar with. No matter how many years passed or what spells or products he tried out, his hair never wanted to cooperate with him. It could be downright embarrassing sometimes, especially when a certain someone who he saw most mornings now smiled or laughed at his failed attempts to get his hair to stay down.
As he left his godson’s bedroom, he closed the door behind him as carefully and quietly as he could. He also kept his footsteps light while walking down the corridor and down the steps back to the first floor. His intention was to go to the kitchen and get himself a glass of water to take with him to the sitting room, but Tonks called out to catch his attention as he rounded the corner.
“Already got your water, Harry,” she said, holding up a full drink in her left hand. She knew his habits by now and had anticipated what he would want after he'd finished story time. “Got some crisps, too.” She shook the bowl she was holding in her right hand.
“I probably shouldn’t have any of those this late at night,” Harry said, walking into the room and taking a seat on the other side of the couch. Tonks passed his drink over to him, and he took a quick sip.
“Probably not,” Tonks agreed. “Neither should I.” She put the bowl of crisps down on the empty seat between them in the middle of the couch. “But that’s not going to stop me.” She reached into the bowl, grabbed a few crisps, and bit into one.
“Yeah, well, you can just use your metamorph abilities to make your body take whatever shape you want. I don’t have that luxury. If I put on a few kilos because my eating habits are shite, it could catch up to me at work.” Despite his complaint, he stuck his hand in the bowl and pulled out a couple of crisps for himself. Tonks kept her mouth closed because she was chewing the last of her crisps, but she smiled at him all the same while she watched him bite into his.
“You’re the best auror the department’s got,” she said after swallowing. “A few crisps aren’t going to kill you.” Rather than going back for the crisps, she picked up her own nearly empty water and took a drink.
“Nope,” Harry agreed, shrugging. “They’ll just slow me down enough that the next arsehole I’m trying to arrest will be able to get away.” Tonks had to put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing and spilling water on the couch. Harry watched her, bemused, as she swallowed her water and shook her head. At last, she took her hand away from her mouth. Harry grunted and flinched in surprise when that hand reached over the bowl, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and pulled it up slightly, just above his navel.
“Yeah,” Tonks said, studying his abs while nodding. “With abs like those, you’re a few crisps away from desk duty, for sure.”
“Ha, ha,” Harry muttered, wresting control of his shirt away from Tonks and pulling it back down, hoping that he wasn’t blushing too obviously. He knew that Tonks was just joking around with him and intended absolutely nothing sexual by partially pulling his shirt up and making a sarcastic quip while staring at abs that they both knew were fairly well-defined on account of all the work he put into maintaining his physical fitness. Even so, just that little gesture of her tugging on his shirt and looking at his body veered far too close to territory that Harry knew was extremely dangerous for him, even if she didn’t have a clue. He couldn’t afford to even think about it, lest it ruin the most important thing in his life.
“Teddy went to sleep without a fuss tonight," he said, grasping onto the easiest topic he could use to change the subject, and more importantly, take his mind off the fact that Tonks had just been staring at his abs. "He must have been worn out, because we barely made it halfway through The Marauders and The Bat Potioneer.”
“He was,” Tonks said, smiling. “I took him over to the Burrow today to play with little Victoire while Bill and Fleur were out, and then George happened to stop by to pick up something Angelina asked him to get, and you know what happens anytime those two are together.”
“So the only one more worn-out than Teddy is Molly, probably,” Harry said, grinning at the thought of his godson and George running around the Burrow together and causing mayhem. They would simultaneously exasperate Molly and make her wistful for the days when her home had been that rowdy every day.
Tonks laughed in between bites of another crisp. “You said it. I shudder to think what’s going to happen when Teddy’s old enough to start helping George with his new prototypes.” She shuddered while finishing the crisp in her hand.
“So, how are the Weasleys, anyway?” Harry asked. “It’s been a few weeks since I talked to any of them, other than Ron.” Strangely, Tonks’ eyes widened at his question, and she looked away from him and stared straight ahead at the telly. Since the thing wasn’t even turned on, it was hardly convincing that the black screen had suddenly distracted her.
“What’s up?” Harry asked her, putting his drink down. He doubted it was anything serious. Ron probably would have told him if anything urgent had happened, and if he hadn’t, Hermione definitely would’ve. But for whatever reason, Harry’s innocent question about how the Weasleys were doing made Tonks give him that strange look and turn her face away from his. “You know staring at a blank screen isn’t going to convince me of anything, right? And it’s too late to try and get out of talking by stuffing your mouth with crisps, too.”
Tonks’ hand had been halfway toward reaching for the bowl, but she pulled her arm back and sighed. “You’d think I’d be better at acting natural, what with being an ex-auror and all,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Must’ve gotten rusty after being retired for so many years.” Privately, Harry didn’t think Tonks had ever been very good at concealing her emotions for as long as he’d known her, even when she was an active auror. He chose not to say anything, though, because that would only get them sidetracked and give her an excuse to avoid spilling whatever news about the Weasleys she clearly thought he wouldn’t like.
“Surely this can’t be that bad,” he said.
“No, it’s not,” Tonks said, turning her head back toward him. She pressed her tongue against her cheek while she looked at him, and despite waiting for her answer, Harry was momentarily distracted by the thought of how cute she looked with her tongue making her cheek puff up like that. “It’s just, well...it might be hard for you to hear. Or maybe it won’t be. Bloody hell, I don’t know.” She reached for another crisp and bit into it, which may have been the first anxious crisp bite Harry had ever seen.
“Molly mentioned that she’d gotten an owl from Ginny a couple of days ago, letting them know that she was going to be back from her international tour next week,” Tonks began.
“Okay,” Harry said slowly, not following why Tonks thought this would be a big deal to him. It wasn’t like things had ended so poorly with Ginny and him that he would fall apart at the mention of her name or anything. They saw each other every now and then, usually during large gatherings at the Burrow, and they were able to carry on conversations that were polite, friendly, and only slightly awkward. All things considered, Harry thought they were doing pretty good at moving on and putting the past behind them.
“She also mentioned that Ginny said she was bringing home a guy that she wanted them to meet,” Tonks said, grimacing slightly as she said it, and watching him tentatively, waiting for his reaction.
“Oh," Harry said after a long pause. He reached into the bowl for a couple more crisps and bit into one. Unlike Tonks, Harry’s bite was not anxious or aggrieved.
“Oh?” Tonks repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That’s it? I just told you your ex-girlfriend’s got a new guy, and all you have to say is ‘oh’?”
“What else am I supposed to say?” Harry asked after chewing up and swallowing the crisp. “We broke up almost a year ago. Not like I expected her to stay single forever.” Tonks narrowed her eyes and leaned closer, blatantly studying him. Harry chewed his next crisp and stared back. After living with Tonks for over six months now, and effectively being a co-parent with her for almost four years, he knew her well enough not to bother turning away. If Tonks wanted to investigate something or satisfy her curiosity, nothing was going to stop her. It was far simpler for him to just let her stare at him until she was satisfied. He had nothing to hide, anyway. Well, he didn’t have anything to hide where Ginny was concerned, anyway. There were other things that he absolutely had to hide, from Tonks most of all. If she was worried about him trying to smother any heartbreak upon hearing that Ginny found a new guy, though, he could afford to be an open book.
“You’re really not bothered, are you?” It seemed more like a statement than a question, and he nodded as she leaned back and returned to her normal position on the couch.
“I’m really not,” he said truthfully. “Ginny’s my friend, and it’s not like things ended horribly between us. I want her to be happy.”
There would always be some degree of awkwardness in ending a relationship that had burned as brightly as theirs once had, however briefly that period had lasted. But after a few years together, they both realized that their interests were taking them in different directions in life. Ginny wanted to put her all into quidditch, and had no interest in settling down and starting a family anytime soon. Harry, on the other hand, already had a family, as Ginny had pointed out as delicately as she could when they finally had the big breakup conversation and put everything on the table. Ginny loved Teddy, as all of the Weasleys did, but she wasn’t a mother figure to him, and never would be. Teddy already had a mother—and after Remus’ tragic death during the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry had taken his role as godfather very seriously, stepping in to support Tonks and become the best father figure he could be. When Ginny pointed out how committed Harry was to his role as Teddy’s godfather and Tonks’ co-parent, and how incompatible that was with the life she was pursuing, he could only agree with her and admit that their relationship was doomed to fail. There had still been some tears shed when they both realized it was over, and it took a few months for them to be normal enough around each other not to make everyone around them feel the awkwardness when they were in the same room, but Harry was not upset or sad to hear that Ginny had moved on and found someone new that she was evidently serious enough about to bring them home to the Burrow.
“And don’t you deserve to be happy, too, Harry?” Tonks asked quietly.
“I am happy,” he said easily, smiling. “I’ve got Teddy.” That made Tonks smile, too. “And I’ve got—well, it’s been brilliant having you guys living here with me, so I can see you all the time.” He’d almost said he had her, too, but caught himself just in time. She might not have thought anything of it, since he was sure she just saw him as a good friend and a loving godfather to Teddy, but Harry would have felt the awkwardness of that statement, even if she hadn’t. He had Teddy, yes, and asking Tonks to move into his house along with her son a few months after Ginny moved out had been a wonderful decision, but he didn’t have Tonks. Not in the way his heart yearned to have her.
“It's brilliant for us, too," Tonks said, grinning at him. "And I couldn't ask for a better man to help me raise Teddy." Harry felt his heart swell with pride at that statement and the heartfelt smile Tonks gave him as she said it. But that smile changed into a more melancholy, sympathetic one after a few seconds. “But I don’t want us to hold you back, either.”
“I would never think that you or Teddy were holding me back,” Harry said adamantly, shaking his head.
“I know you wouldn’t,” she said. Her hair, which had been in one of its most common spiky bubblegum-pink looks since before he’d walked into the sitting room, now grew past her shoulders and turned a light brown. Having co-parented with her for years, Harry recognized that hairdo as one she sometimes took when trying to be sympathetic or show concern, either deliberately or subconsciously mimicking her own mother’s appearance in the process. “When you first came over and talked to me a few days after the battle, and told me you were going to be there for me and Teddy, I never thought you would be half as involved as you have been, and are, but I’m so bloody grateful that you’ve stepped up the way you have for him. You’re an amazing father figure to Teddy, Harry, so far above and beyond anything Remus and I could have expected when we asked you to be his godfather—that’s one of many reasons I don’t mind it when Teddy just calls you dad, because you’ve earned that title a thousand times over. And I know that, no matter what happens, you’re going to keep being there for us.” Harry nearly flinched again when Tonks reached across the couch and grabbed his hand. How could something as simple as her holding his hand make his heart race like this?
“But I don’t want you to miss out on everything else that you could have in your life, too,” Tonks said seriously, leaning over the couch to look into his eyes. “You deserve to be happy, Harry. You deserve to fall in love. And even though Teddy is always going to be a priority for you, I don’t want you to deny yourself everything else that you deserve, too. Ginny’s having fun; you should, too. You should be going on dates with gorgeous witches.” She gave him the playful grin that Harry knew and adored so well. “Or finding a girl to take back to your room for a nice snog, at least.”
“Not sure Teddy’s ready to see me bringing random witches into his home so I can snog them,” Harry joked, trying to ignore the reality that there was already a witch he wanted to snog, and she was sitting right next to him and holding his hand. He definitely couldn’t let on what he was thinking, or their living situation was going to make the aftermath of his breakup with Ginny look light and breezy in comparison.
“He’s gotta learn about the birds and the bees sometime,” Tonks laughed, joking right back with him. But her face got that serious look on it again, and she ran her fingers across the back of his hand, lightly rubbing just below his knuckles and stroking the hairs there. Harry blinked, willing himself not to let on how much that simple touch affected him. “But seriously, don’t forget that you can have more out of life than just being the best fucking godfather ever. I know we’ve got a unique living situation here, and you’ve got more on your plate than any other single bloke your age. But if, no, when you find a girl you actually like, we can make it work. Teddy and I can always go stay over at my mum’s, or stop by the Burrow, or find other things to do if you need the house to yourself some nights.”
“You seem very invested in getting me laid,” he said.
“You could probably use it,” Tonks said, smirking. “But really: whatever happens, we can make it work, and give you whatever privacy you need once you find a girl you like enough to want to bring her back here. Don’t take yourself off the dating market just because Teddy and I are living with you, okay?”
“Okay,” Harry agreed, since it was obvious Tonks wasn’t going to let this drop without some kind of assurance from him. “If I ever need privacy, I’ll let you know.”
“Good,” Tonks said. She patted the back of his hand before letting it go. “I can’t wait until you introduce me to the lucky girl who makes you fall head over heels.”
I’ve already fallen head over heels, Harry said to himself, while faking a laugh and reaching into the bowl to snag the last crisps remaining. And I can never let you know.