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Two Weeks Notice

Summary:

An average day at the B.A.T. HQ

Notes:

fuck my chungus life bro
credits to Youfoundmeitselowen btw

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“I think I‘m going to put in my two weeks” Two B.A.T. spies turn to look at their fellow invis player walks into the dorms and start writing signs while they are playing cards.

“I don’t blame you, but what's the last straw here” Spy 3 turned away from their cards to look at Spy 1 “I was on Leo duty today” Immediately the room filled with signs of pity and remorse, “I KNOW RIGHT?” They wrote after reading their reactions. “So what did he do today?” Spy 2 asked before taking down some of the signs in the room.

“So there I was right? Just standing outside his office….”

*flashback*

Spy 1 stood outside of Leo's office after finishing rounds around the vents in sections 2 through 4, as was their patrol route today. When suddenly they were beckoned over by Leo to stand guard outside of his office.

“I'm expecting a guest” Leo spoke(haha get it cause-) Spy 1 was intimately aware of what this meant unfortunately because this had happened wayyyy too many times before. Spy 1 acknowledged the order and Leo walked into his office entirely indifferent and muttering things about ”making him pay”. About 20 minutes had gone by before they heard it, a disembodied footstep here, or a bending of the light there. This put Spy 1 on full alert because this could be an intruder and so they went to investigate down the hall. They looked for a good 15 before they couldn’t find anything and began walking back to their post. Another spy must have seen them searching and came over to join them. “I couldn’t find anything so im going back to post :P” Spy 1 wrote out for Other Spy to read. “I’ll come along, I've just finished my rounds! :D” so they walked back to that stupid. Unsuspecting. Door. They stand there for a while, sometimes hearing things move or hearing their boss speaking through the door. It wasn’t until at least 30 more minutes of back and forth sign conversations when the odd noises started, both spies looked at each other briefly unsure of what to do, until a loud crash was heard from behind the door. Both spies visibly tensed and readied their weapons, moving strategically to open the door and move inside. The moment they step into the room they stop.

“What the heck??” Other Spy typed out next to them. What the heck was right, in the room it was covered wall to wall with photos, some being full file layouts recognized from previous missions. Photos and file of SpokeIsHere… yknow.. THE. WANTED. CRIMINAL??? Now there had been an ongoing betting pool among the spies of if their boss and Spoke were really enemies, and there was a lot of money to be made. So now Spy 1 was curious and stepped closer to the photos. Other Spy also started looking around the room albeit nervously. If Spy 1 was right, Other Spy seemed to be one of the newer recruits, which is going to make this all the more harrowing for them. ‘Oh you poor unfortunate soul’ they thought to themselves before turning their attention back to the photos. They were of Spoke obviously, but they were ONLY Spoke, parts that should have contained others were blacked out in pen or just burned entirely… *shiver* creepy. “I knew the boss was a freak but c'mon man..”

Then there were the photos of Mappicc Spoke’s partner in crime which were lowk just vandalized, some having stupid faces and others having straight up death threats. Then there were just actual love letters, like even some with really bad poetry. ‘Oh I have GOT to tell 2 & 3 about this’ Spy 1 thought to themselves when they were ripped from their thoughts by yet another loud crash from the back room of the office. Both spies stopped what they were doing and once again readied their weapons, immediately busting the door open which was blocked from the inside by obsidian. Which leads to why Spy 1 is now drafting their 2 weeks notice of resignation. There in the room which was dimly lit and has wither rose petals scattered about was FREAKING SPOKEISHERE and their BOSS mind you MAKING OUT. Spoke was standing above their boss who had his back flush against the desk and legs wrapped around Spokes middle. They both briefly paused what they were doing to look at the two spies who were just trying to do their job and SMIRKED??? Then Spoke went back to kissing their boss and while Leo tried to bark orders at them of “go back to your post” and “who said you could enter” this knocked both spies out of their stupor and they turned to exit the room, horrified by their discovery when Spy 1 was suddenly hooked by a fishing rod and pulled back in. Other Spy saw this and went to help before the same thing happened to them. Suddenly Spoke stopped devouring their boss and went “it's okay kitty, they can watch” LIKE HELLO- WHAT NO I JUST WANN DO MY JOBBBB…

“And that's why I wanna switch divisions, Ms. Jumper” Said Spy 1 in JumperWho’s office about 4 days after the ‘incident’. “Of course we can have that arranged, though-” The door to the office opened suddenly and in walked someone the Spy vaguely recognized as Squiddo, who walked over to their new boss and kiss her on the temple “its Mrs. Jumper”

“Screw this stupid Chungus Job…”

Notes:

this is peak trust please i need more of this cause its like that thing of "what if u were in the omegaverse and its Y/N x CEO