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On Robby's first shift back from his sabbatical, he expected a lot of things.
He wouldn’t have been surprised if he walked in and found out he’d been replaced. He definitely anticipated the curious stares, which he wasn’t sure if he should be offended by?
But what he did not expect was to walk in and see his best friend of thirty years and his cute intern kissing in the locker bay.
The two main reasons he decided to return were standing right in front of him... kissing.
Unsure of what to do he just kind of froze, staring until the two men noticed his presence.
All he could do was stare. Watch the way Dennis eagerly pressed into Jack; how Jack's arm wrapped so tightly around the younger man, his free hand tendelry brushing hair out of the younger mans blushing face.
When they finally noticed him, immediately they sprang away from each other. Both looking worse for wear. For Jack, it made sense he’d just gotten off the night shift, but Dennis should have just got here... so why did he look so?
“Robby… you’re back?” Jack sounded shocked and almost bewildered. Okay, so he hadn’t been anticipating the warmest welcome, but this definitely did hurt a little.
“A 'nice to see you' wouldn’t-” Before he can finish his sentence, the air is being squeezed out of him as Jack's stupidly toned arms pull him into a tight embrace.
“I missed you…” Jack mumbles, voice overflowing with emotions Robby wasn’t deserving of.
Robby swallowed and weakly replied. “I missed you, too.” He pat Jack on the back before gently shoving him away, giving him a pathetic excuse for a playful smile. “Seems like a lot has happened since I left.” He adds weakly, gesturing over to Dennis.
Jack chuckled, and Dennis went bright red, expression unreadable as he looked away. “You could, uh say that.”
Robby sighs at Jack's poor explanation, (not that he was entitled to one just...) and turns to Dennis. “Whitaker!”
“Yes…?” His head shot up as he glanced around, anxiously avoiding his eyes.
He selected his words carefully, trying to keep them as appropriate and friendly as possible. “Thanks for watching my place, you did a real good job.”
Dennis nods swiftly, bobbing his head so enthusiastically that makes it makes Robby a little dizzy to watch. “Of course.”
Unable to avoid more conversation, Robby turns back towards him as he puts his things in his locker. “I’m glad to be working with you on my first shift back!”
“Oh uhm…” Dennis clams up, and that's when Robby notices him unlocking his locker.
Knowing something's wrong, Robby presses. “What’s the matter?”
“I uh, switched to nights.” He says it quietly, like he knows it will upset Robby. Like Robby is fragile. Like it's a betrayal. When it totally isn’t.
But it certainly feels like one.
“Oh yeah, of course.” He looks between Jack and Dennis and remembers the way they had leaned into eachother. “Makes sense.” His voice definitely doesn’t crack.
He shoves his things into his lockers and tries to ignore the way Jack stares at him. “Well, uh, you two have fun. I’ll make sure to get in touch with you later, alright?” He tacks it on so he doesn’t worry.
Jack jumps on the offer. “Yeah, we should grab a drink or something.”
“Yeah.”
Robby leaves, before anything more can be said, not looking back.
The image of Dennis melting into Jacks arms, the way Jack had held him. It had made his heart skip a beat, and not in a good way. In an awful, nausea-inducing, shocked way.
.
.
.
Being back is weird. He’s met with these relieved yet pitying looks all day. To many of the residents, nurses, and students, he looks fine. Dana can tell, though. She always can.
It isn't too much of an issue though. The worst part about being back is Jack and Dennis. When he's finishing up and they walk into the ER, hand in hand, chatting quietly, Dennis letting out a soft heart-wrenchingly sweet giggle at whatever Jack has said. He tries to ignore it; tries act normal. (The fact they keep whispering to each other while glancing in his direction doesn't help.)
The first day is busy, which, for once, Robby is thankful for. Saves him from the many questions he would inevitably have to answer. However, the second day is painfully slow.
.
.
.
By some awful phenomenon, Robby has absolutely nothing to do; he’s personally checked in with every single patient or their families and is now currently leaning over the nurses' station waiting for something to happen. Princess is in front of him, so he makes an observation.
“No Santos again?”
“She switched to nights two months ago; she won’t say why.” She glanced around, then came closer, whispering. “But if you ask Perlah and me, we think it has something to do with her and Garcia.”
Robby sighs, Santos and Dennis lost to night shift. “Right.”
.
.
.
He got home that night and stared at his condo. Which now felt cold empty and wrong.
On the first night back when he hadn't known about,
Them,
he'd taken a sick pleasure in knowing it had been so carefully kept by Dennis. Enjoyed the way the younger man's scent lingered. The warm feeling of home, seemed to fill every corner.
Those three months were probably the first and last time this place would ever get to truly be a home.
It was weird to admit but he had been excited to invite Jack for a drink. Wanting to see the shocked, delight on his face when he realized Robby was back. He was ready to see Jack relax and smile, unburden him from one issue even if momentarily.
It was sick and wrong, even then he had known. So it was actually good that things played out differently.
.
.
.
It’s been four days since his return and all he could think about was Jack and Dennis. They were the reason he returned, yet he had barely seen them, which is no one's fault but his own. He’d been purposefully avoiding them ever since his first morning back. Their conversations were limited to locker bay formalities. Jack had invited him out for a drink that night, and selfishly?
He couldn’t.
He just couldn’t.
Couldn’t bring himself to sit there and listen to Jack drone on about Dennis and how much he loved him; learn unnecessary details about their new relationship. As happy as he was that Jack was, well, happy; he just really didn’t want to hear about it.
Robby was a selfish man. He'd always known that deep down.
So it made sense that all of his feelings about their relationship were entirely selfish.
He was grateful, and so proud that Jack had found someone again, and seeing Dennis look content, relieved him. So he was glad because now he could leave, and Dennis wouldn’t lose his mentor, his attending. He could leave, and Jack would still have someone. Someone who would take the burden of his past; someone he could protect.
Someone who loved him and who he loved back.
They hadn’t said it in front of him, they might not have even said it to each other, yet. but Robby knew that look in Jack's eyes, and the way Dennis flushed and relaxed whenever Jack was nearby spoke for itself. So selfishly, he was glad now he could go without causing too much damage. When he went, Jack would have Dennis, and Dennis would have Jack. It was perfect, really.
But another, rotten part of him was painfully jealous. Thirty years with Jack, and he’d never been enough for that soft, open love? His mind pointedly ignored all the mutual reasons they’d never pursued that. And Dennis had been his first, his student, his intern, his favorite. Those feelings just solidified Robby's plan as the right choice. Thoughts like that shouldn’t be given breathing room.
It was after his shift. Jack isn’t supposed to be there tonight; he’d taken it off to get a drink with Robby. That was good. It's easier since he's not there. Hopefully Dennis hadn’t arrived yet, he mused as he approached the elevator. He usually took the stairs, but he was too tired.
With a certain finality, he glances back out into the hospital. The elevator he picked was tucked away, so he couldn’t see much of it. Maybe that was for the best. He presses the button to the rooftop and sighs, leaning against the wall.
He was so tired,
But before the elevator doors can close, Jack and Dennis are squeezing in, smushing him into a corner. Jack's eyes refuse to meet his and are glossy with frustrated tears, and Dennis looks heartbroken like a kicked puppy.
Why on earth was Jack here, and what was…?
They're talking to him, the words are careful and practiced at first, but quickly derail into begging. "Please, Michael, I can't lose someone else." Jack's voice is rough as it breaks.
Dennis isn't making it any easier. "Please, Dr. Robby, please."
As their voices come into focus and they arrive on the roof, Robby pushes past, exiting. Jack quickly follows, grabbing his arm and pinning him to the wall. Dennis stands back, glancing between them.
"I don't understand," Robby says finally.
"What don't you understand?" Jack sounds almost angry.
Robby shakes his head and looks between the two men who are so important to him. He looks at Jack, whom he's known and loved longer than Dennis has been alive. Then to Dennis, who has somehow wormed his way so deeply into his heart. "You two don't need to worry about me, you have each other now."
Jack steps back, eyebrows furrowing. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
The reaction surprised Robby; to him, it was unwarranted. "I've noticed... I think it's great that you two love each other. I just-"
"It's only because of you!" Dennis’s voice cut through the building tension they both turned their heads to find the younger man obviously regretting cutting in. "I mean, it’s not that I don't love Jack, I do... I really, really do..." His face grows impossibly red at his confession, and Jack relaxes a bit too but still Dennis continues. "But the only reason we started talking was because of you. After you left, I was so worried. so I confided in him and then..." Losing all his momentum, Dennis trails off, staring at the ground–embarrassed.
Jack shakes his head and steps back, running his hand through his hair. "What Dennis is saying is true. But we agreed we needed to have you the moment you came back. We shouldn't have stalled as much as we did. We were just shocked…? nervous…?"
Robby still couldn’t believe it. Was he understanding this right? He looked between the two men and recognized something in their eyes that wasn’t worry; it was the way they’d looked at each other in the locker bay; it was love.
Unsure of how to respond, all he could do was chuckle awkwardly, shying away from their genuine soulful stares. "In all our thirty years of friendship, I didn't know it was possible to make you nervous..."
An awful, embarrassing, awkward silence fell over them when Robby finally got the guts to look up. He was met with Jack, who was looking less than impressed, and poor Dennis looked so confused and unsure that he was practically vibrating with nerves.
Gathering what was left of his dead, beaten, bruised ego, he cleared his throat. "Not the time?" But there was no humor in his words, only a quiet question which Jack seemed to pick up on.
"We want you, Michael,” he says, swallowing, stepping closer. “Please. And we don’t just want you, we want you safe, please, we can't live the rest of our lives worrying..." With the way Jack glances back to Dennis, who’s still standing between the two, looking very out of place, Robby knows he’s not really speaking about himself. They’ve spent their whole relationship worrying about each other, and he knows that’s not about to stop. "That's not fair," to Dennis goes unspoken, but they understand each other and Robby... Robby agrees.
Even if Jack continues stressing him out for the rest of their lives, he doesn’t want to scare him any longer, and he certainly doesn’t want to scare Dennis.
Robby looks up, meeting Jack's eyes. "I know, you’re right, it’s not." He glances over to Dennis, who looks almost antsy? "I'll get help, and I'll actually try this time, for you guys I-"
The rest of his promise is muffled by Dennis’s lips on his soft, hungry, and eager. It catches Robby off guard, but he quickly responds, reveling in the feeling. It’s something he never thought he’d be able to experience.
Finally, Dennis pulls back, Robby's pants, trying to catch his breath, unable to control the goofy smile spreading across his face.
Jack sneaks up on him. Robby’s still drunk off Dennis and probably oxygen-deprived, so he doesn’t notice until Jack's big, strong hand slings around his shoulder.
They exchange a look; Jack grins. "I know he's feisty. I was shocked at first, too."
Dennis almost whimpers, looking shy and restless as he buries himself in Jack's neck. Robby’s heart skips a beat seeing them wrapped in each others arms. "I guess I have a lot to catch up on..."
Dennis hums in quiet agreement and moves, so he’s pressed between both of them. Robby marvels at the sight and feeling.
"Yeah, you do," Jack replies, squeezing him tighter.
When Robby thought about the future and all the work he would have to do all he could say was, "I'm looking forward to it."
.
.
.
It's a few weeks later, and Robby's just getting back from his second therapy appointment. This time, he was really trying, and it was hard and felt weird, intimate, silly, and uncomfortable. Sometimes more than others, it felt like it was unnecessary, like it wasn't worth it.
Jack's obnoxious, pushy, motivational voice, the one he uses when he convinces Robby to work out with him, cuts through. "Come on, Dennis, you almost got it."
"I'm trying!"
When he opens the door, he's greeted with the sigh of both his lovers' bare bodies bathed in sunlight, sprawled out into some weird, impossible-looking position on a yoga mat.
It definitely was worth it.