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2026-03-08
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i wanna pet you like an animal

Summary:

"Then why-"  He stopped upon hearing its fingers lightly scrape against the laurel-like part of his helmet, somewhere above his ear.  The closest thing it could get to scratching behind his ear without crossing a serious, and potentially dangerous, boundary.

It stopped scratching after a moment, tilting its head.

"Are you… treating me like a dog?"

It did not respond.

Notes:

hiiii. i wrote this way back before any other ultrakill petplay fics existed, started drifting to other interests before i could edit & post it, forgot, then a billion years later caught back up on ultrakill & decided to look at my old wips. i'm VERY excited to see that others have stepped up to bat in my absence but, hey, folks still enjoy how i write 'em if my kudos emails have been any indication, so here u go

Work Text:

V1 flung the Whiplash towards Gabriel once more; this time, it just barely missed.  He opened his mouth to gloat, but let out nothing more than a startled gasp when he felt the cable start to wrap around his neck.

"Wait-!"  His swords clattered against the floor as he grabbed at the wire.  "Don't- ghhgh--!"  He was pulled slightly forward in the air as V1 tilted its head and gave a little tug.  "Stop, just- let me-"  He floated down and started walking closer, sighing once the cable lost some of its tension.

It blinked up at Gabriel as he stood in front of it.

"I realize we're in the middle of combat, but I don't think choking me like that would be fair."  He started trying to pull it loose.  "Now how do I…  How the hell did it get so-?"

V1 tugged the Whiplash down, causing him to lean down with a startled breath.

"... Machine."

It pulled down more, combining withdrawing the wire and lowering its arm until Gabriel had to get on his knees to avoid getting choked.  It added a bit more slack in return.

"What are you…?"

Slowly, making sure to keep it in his line of sight, it brought up its other hand and started stroking the top of his helmet.

He looked up at it in disbelief.  "You do realize I can't feel that, yes?"

V1 nodded.

"Then why-"  He stopped upon hearing its fingers lightly scrape against the laurel-like part of his helmet, somewhere above his ear.  The closest thing it could get to scratching behind his ear without crossing a serious, and potentially dangerous, boundary.

It stopped scratching after a moment, tilting its head.

"Are you… treating me like a dog?"

It did not respond.

He huffed and crossed his arms, looking off to the side.  "You- the indignity-!"  Again, he froze, this time as it crouched down to itch at his neck, as close to the jaw as it could manage.  "That- does feel good, but…"

V1 tilted its head the other way, slowing its fingers to a stop.

"I… wasn't going to tell you to stop, per se…"  He looked back at it again for just a moment before turning his gaze to the floor.  "It's just… baffling."

Cautiously, it started scratching again, settling into a more comfortable crouching position once he started looking more relaxed.

"What are you getting out of this?  Is this your idea of nonviolent fun?  Something as strong as you being a mere prototype would make more sense then, weird logic like that."  His head lolled to the side, allowing it better access.  "Or is it…?"  He shook his head.  "No, that's… that would be ridiculous."

It watched him, expectantly.

"... I'm not even sure if I should say it out loud."

It motioned for him to go ahead, gently petting the back of his neck.

After a moment, he took in a deep breath.  "Is this… sexual for you, somehow?"  A few seconds of silence later, and he went to stand up.  "Sorry, that sounded ridiculous before I even opened my…"  It was Gabriel's turn to tilt his head, as V1 didn't move to undo his makeshift leash, create some distance to relieve the awkwardness, anything.  "... Machine?"

It stood up as well.

"... Is it?"  He watched its eye shift around minutely.  "I may act as a judge, but you honestly fall out of my jurisdiction, especially in this… area.  You can give me an answer."

V1 held up a finger.  Wait.

He crossed his arms.  "I suppose I can spare some time."

It looked him up and down.  It ran a finger along the Whiplash cable wrapped around him, lightly touching his neck in the process, earning a sharp little inhale.  It considered the Whiplash itself, wrapping the slack part of the cable around the hand- giving the leash a proper handle.  It watched Gabriel start to squirm the longer he waited for it to come up with a response.
It nodded.

He looked away with a light heh.  "Well, I suppose I'm flattered.  Oddly specific, and odd timing as well, but… I'm flattered.  I guess."  Slowly, he turned his head forward again.  "I'm, uh… afraid I don't see the appeal, though."

It could sense his heartbeat at this proximity.  Lying through his teeth.

"Perhaps you…"  As he trailed off, he ran a hand down the side of his helmet with a barely audible sigh.  "Perhaps you could demonstrate?"

Its wings perked up before it pointed down.  It fluttered its wings as it watched him quickly return to his knees.  With its free hand, it mimed removing a belt.

"You want me to-?"  Receiving a light tug on the leash, he nodded and undid the clasps on his belt, setting it aside.

V1 gave him a gentle pat on the head while it mulled over what to do next.
Watching him, it slid one foot forward between his legs, bunching his skirt up as its shin pressed against him.

He sucked in a deep breath.  "That…  Do you…?"

It continued to simply watch him.

Returning its gaze, Gabriel carefully rolled his hips against its leg.  When no move was made to stop him, he did it again.  And again, and again, gradually growing bolder, faster.  He clutched at its thigh as he started to pant.  Unable to keep looking it in the eye, he nuzzled its waist.

V1 stroked the back of his helmet a few more times before guiding his head to tip back.  It gave the leash a light tug as it fingerspelled, "Bad dog."

He gasped and gripped its leg tighter.  "Fuck-"  His hips grew shaky.  "I'm-mmh- I'm sorry–"  Doubling over, he humped faster, moaning on every other thrust.

It pulled its leg away, earning a whine.  Pulling his gaze back up by the chin, it let him catch his breath for a moment before spelling out, "Patient."

He took a deep breath.  "... Okay."

Nodding, it released his chin, moving to grab one of his hands instead.  It guided him to its pelvis, curling so his fingertips rested in the gap between the plating and its waist.

He slowly ran his hand back and forth.  "Is this good?"

It adjusted him again, fingers further within the gap.  It shivered and planted a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah…"  Keeping an eye on its reactions, he took his other hand to thumb at the gap between its hip and its thigh.

V1's spine straightened out with a startled beep.

Cautiously, he slipped his thumb in further, giving the joint a slow stroke.

Doubling over, it grabbed Gabriel by the helmet and shoved him against its crotch.  It rolled its hips against him, scraping against his golden chin as it rubbed against his fingers.

"Machine-?"  His voice reverberating against it earned a more insistent thrust.  The new position made the hand on its front awkward to work with, but he resumed his movements anyway, watching it shudder over him.

It released his head just long enough to move the hand on its pelvis to the tubing running up its side.

He gently rubbed his thumb back and forth on the surface of the tube.  Its material seemed thicker than what few red ones stuck out between its plating, but he could still feel blood pumping through, and getting faster the more he touched it.  "Are you- are you getting close?"

V1 bucked against him with a little clang before nodding.  It leaned more of its weight onto the hand on his shoulder.

He let out a shaky breath and started rubbing its joint faster.   "I…  I'm surprised."  An embarrassed sound slipped out as it started grinding against him.  "What benefit does a weapon have in being so sensitive?"

After a bit of silence (besides the sound of its own mechanisms), it slowed down for a second and motioned for him to continue.

"Wha- keep talking?  I don't… I can't think of anything."

It stared down at him.

"... My… my neck hurts?"

V1's shoulders started to shake with a silent laugh.  It interrupted itself with a jolt up the spine, holding onto the back of Gabriel's helmet for dear life as its eye clenched shut.  Loud static started to fill the air as it shook, doubling over, coming dangerously close to pinching the thumb in its hip.

He carefully drew his thumb away as it started to come down.  "... Ahh."

It winced at the vibration against it and stepped back.

Gabriel rubbed at his neck.  "That was…"  He cleared his throat.  "Fascinating."

Gently lifting the Whiplash, it looked down at his face.  Its lower lens lifted up when it noticed little flakes of blue paint against gold.

He held his breath as it rubbed his chin.  "... Can I…?"

V1 nodded before sliding its leg between his own once more.

"Fuck- thank you."

Still holding his chin up, its free hand spelled out, "Good."

Damn near whining, he rutted against it faster.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you-"  Clinging to its calf, he shuddered.  "Ah–!"

Grip on the leash tightening subconsciously, it watched Gabriel's expressionless helmet as he rode out his orgasm.  Were his eyes closed in pure bliss under there, or was he watching it back?  Was his gaze as intent as its own, logging every detail of the moment?  Did he notice how its eye kept darting down to his stuttering hips?  What about when he was the one pleasuring it?  It felt naked all of a sudden, for perhaps the first time in its entirely clothes-free life.

Sighing, he finally slowed down and pulled himself away.  "I…"  He placed a hand over his face and laughed.  "This has… certainly been enlightening.  Thank you."

V1 loosened its hold and nodded.

He stood up before tugging at the cable around his neck once again.  "Now, seriously, how do I…?"  It loosened almost immediately.  He watched it fall to the floor.  "... I was just pulling the wrong spot the whole fucking time."

It tilted its head and mimicked giggling.

"Shut–"  His armor tinted red.  "Shut up.  Don't–"  He fell back with a yelp as the Whiplash's wire retracted, tightening around his ankles.