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Stolas read the final part he wrote in his novel over and over again.
Its protagonist—him—was in the arms of his partner—Blitzø, obviously—after having a beautiful confession straight out of a real romance movie. There were tears, kisses, caresses, and everything he had dreamed of.
And a dance...
He swallowed in disappointment. He didn't like the way he'd described the dance scene. Sure, it was very sweet, and he was somewhat proud, but... where was the excitement? Where were the laughs? The final hug was fine, but where was the thrill of the forbidden? Where was the desire and passion? Where was that feeling of "I love being alive for this moment"?
Well... he had to go back a few pages to find that, but it wasn't between his main couple. It was between another character in their love story who unfortunately didn't get much screen time, but still... it touched him deeply. He smiled longingly, looking at the chapter he was searching for. It was called "Fleeting Love" and had a drawing of his self-insert on the cover and...
He almost wanted to cry. He'd drawn the incubus so perfectly it was practically his likeness. It was a good thing Blitzø respected his privacy and didn't read his sketchbook, or he'd have a lot of explaining to do about why that guy was just filler in his love story... But he wasn't; rather, he and Jace had their own story.
Jace.
"Where are you...? Why haven't you come for me?" he asked, his voice heavy with longing. He was sitting at his desk, bored of answering calls and attending to clients while Blitzø and the others were on another mission.
He was alone, and that was fine. He didn't know if he was in the mood to keep rejecting Blitzø. The imp's hints, clearly now interested in him, were confusing. Sometimes he couldn't believe his dream had come true, and that Blitzø was as in love as he was... Or was he?
And why does his heart still think of his boyfriend ? Are they even still dating?
It's hard to think about whether you still have a relationship with someone you abandoned without warning the moment you went to save your "ex" and immediately moved in with him. He was sure Jace was angry, hurt, and had every reason to be. But why wasn't he looking for him? Why did Jace just accept what happened and not seek a formal breakup? He would have already run to find him if it weren't too complicated to explain to Blitzø, and he didn't want to hurt him, but why wasn't his Jacey here?
He reread what he had written of that chapter one particular night that - they could have - celebrated another month together. In this chapter, his character met his, they danced for a night, and he surrendered himself in a way he thought he would never surrender again... a small smile spread across his face as he remembered having experienced the exact same thing.
Oh, how nervous he was that night... he was nearly falling over from drunkenness, but Jace still carried him to his bed, talking to him and making him laugh until he sobered up. And once he felt ready to indulge, Jace made him feel so good. Not just because of his great sexual performance as an incubus with experience, but because he was... sweet but not slow, he did it the way he'd always wanted. He'd never had sex in a gentle way where it was all about being worshipped; after all, he'd only ever been with Blitzø before, and that was never his style... but trying it with that handsome incubus was a completely different experience, but no less pleasurable.
Stolas clutched the notebook to his chest, a poor attempt to keep his boyfriend close, wherever he was... All the physical mementos, like the gifts and photos they had from their brief relationship, were in his castle; now all he had left was his own imagination and memories. A few tears escaped his eyes; if only he could have him in front of his one more time... he would make it worth it.
''I've never done this before...''
He heard his own voice in a flashback as he read those exact words in his novel. He had done everything just as it had happened that drunken night after Blitzø's party, when they arrived at the incubus's apartment. He closed his eyes; he didn't need to read any further, he remembered it perfectly.
"Never?" Jace asked as soon as he received permission to continue, taking off his shirt with the print that said 'Better Than Blitzo Guy.'
Stolas blushed deeply, taking in that body as if it had been sculpted to perfection, those muscles that had supported him while dancing, that sturdy chest he was eager to touch and... Before he could ramble, he looked away.
''I mean, I do have had sex before'' He explained nervously, still unable to look him in the face properly ''But only with... with him.''
There was no need to mention his name. They both knew which party they were coming from. For a moment, he had feared ruining the atmosphere by mentioning that name, but even so, the incubus approached him, going towards him to caress his cheek, gently cradling his face.
"It's not that complicated, just let yourself go. Like a dance." The handsome incubus winked, a simple gesture that made his knees tremble. It still made him think of that fiery kiss they shared on the dance floor after dancing for only a few minutes.
"Like a dance, yes..." The owl repeated, trying to feel better, feeling the incubus's hands wander toward his cloak, slowly removing it and letting it fall to the floor. One less garment and he was already completely flustered; he had to hold his hands to stop him.
''Everything's fine--?''
"It's been months since I've done this," the Goetia continued his confession, feeling pathetic and knowing the alcohol might make him cry again. "Listen, I... like I told you, I've only ever slept with Blitzø in my entire life. He was my first time... and every time after that, so everything I know about this is thanks to him, even if we haven't done it in a long time. I-I know it's not what you want to hear, nobody does, but-"
A pink finger rested on its beak. Jace's gaze was as flirtatious as it was understanding; he saw absolute comprehension and empathy in the irises of his eyes, and it almost made his heart leap.
"It's your story with him, no matter what happened," he murmured as his hands wandered to the buttons of his refined prince's shirt. "Let me give you a new one. With me."
Once the incubus had partially undressed him—leaving him in just his trousers, just like him—he took his hand to guide him to the bed where they sat down. They didn't even have time to rest before Stolas, touched by his words and attention, practically threw himself at him and kissed him. Jace happily responded to the intense kiss, falling together onto the sheets.
The incubus was so sweet; he'd never felt so vulnerable—well, when he did this for the first time, of course he felt vulnerable, surrendering something so intimate that no one had ever wanted, but... Blitzø only wanted his book, after all. Jace wanted him and had him in his bed... because he wanted him and no one else. He didn't want his power, he didn't want any real benefit; he wanted him as a person.
It was like surrendering to a completely different experience. The incubus could be rough if he wanted, but all he wanted was to make him feel was connection, to make everything about him, about the two of them, in this new adventure they had practically agreed upon, since it wouldn't be a one-night stand. He wasn't used to this slow pace, to not being taken by force until he'd explored every tone in his voice, but he had dreamed of this, of melting in the arms of someone who desired him in his most authentic form.
He trembled as he felt the orgasm course down his spine and reach his brain, making him see stars for at least a few seconds while the incubus curled up on his shoulder, resting. They remained like that, nestled together, until a soft sob broke the comfortable silence.
''Stolas?'' The incubus moved away from him, looking down at his beautiful blushing face, beginning to cry small tears.
''I-I'm fine'' He murmured with a small, weak smile, tears still falling. ''It was very beautiful, I liked it a lot... I feel good'' he repeated, because he couldn't believe it.
Would everything really be alright? Was he really not going to be missing Blitzø, lying on the couch until he died alone...? Maybe with time he could get over it. He never thought it would feel so good to be with someone new... but it did.
Jace affectionately stroked his cheek; he could sense that the incubus was also surprised to have had such a lovely night with someone he barely knew. It was a typical formula for a one-night stand, not for falling in love.
In just one month, their relationship had progressed incredibly fast. He knew they were moving quickly, they were still getting to know each other, but conversations with him were never boring. He always made her feel good, and just seeing him made her face flush. It wasn't the first time he'd fallen in love, obviously, so he knew what he was feeling... but it was the first time that he was being reciprocated.
Jace saw him. He found him not only physically beautiful but also as a person. Every time he imagined a romantic relationship, he pictured a typical movie scenario like, "Harriet, don't get on that train! It's going to London, and i cannot be without you!" But... even so, this was beautiful, even if he didn't have everything he wanted.
''Are you sure you can't stay?'' Five weeks after they met, the honeymoon phase didn't seem to be over yet.
Stolas had been happy to spend another night snuggled in his arms, but he had to get up. He had promised to have a father-daughter day with Via; they were going shopping, have dinner together, and in the evening they were going to watch movies on his couch. This time he couldn't.
''I'm sorry, dear'' He murmured sadly, finishing getting dressed. ''I promised this my daughter.'''
"I'd like to meet her," Jace said hopefully. Stolas smiled weakly, but he wasn't sure. His little owlet didn't take it well when he date with anyone other than Stella, and that was clear. Besides, he wasn't ready.
"It's too soon, Jacey. And I don't think she'll understand..."
"You can test the waters," the incubus suggested, picking up his underwear from the floor. "Ask her how she'd feel about you dating with someone. She's a big girl, she'll understand."
Stolas wanted to believe it, but he couldn't worry about that now. He leaned in to receive his customary goodbye kiss, a peck lasting only a few seconds before they parted only to exchange another and another.
''I'll see you tomorrow morning'' Stolas looked at him tenderly.
" I love you ," he almost whispered against his lips, but the incubus didn't notice. It was a relief, because saying it now would have been impulsive, and he wouldn't have known what explanations to give.
Perhaps everything happening around him felt like a perfect romance novel, but he had to remind himself that this was real life. And no matter how happy he felt, even with the same pain in his heart as last month, he had to enjoy it before it exploded in his face. Just like it had before.
But... that morning wasn't what he expected. He didn't wake up with Jace, he woke up with Blitzø.
Without his daughter, without his money, without his legions, without his title. Without Jace...
Everything had happened so fast. While his daughter was in the kitchen telling the servants to bring something for their movie night, he saw on television that they were about to kill Blitzø. He couldn't let that happen; he had to save him. He didn't even have time to think of a plan or say goodbye to his boyfriend; he had to plead guilty...
Having Blitzø near him after a month apart made him feel things he hadn't expected. Maybe he was still the same fool and hadn't gotten over him, not even with a new love in the way. If he'd had time to do things right, they would have talked more, but he was prepared to die for him. If only he'd been able to say goodbye to Jace, what must he have felt seeing him on TV running to save his ex? (Who wasn't even an ex. Never.)
He glanced at the notebook pressed against his chest; he was being so pathetic. He couldn't dwell on everything he'd done wrong that time when the phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes and wiped away his tears; he had to sound calm before answering.
''Hello. I.M.P. We can kill your asshole'' He answered as usual, it didn't even bother him much anymore.
''Stolas...''
Hearing his name made him nervous; the voice was so familiar. He was about to ask who it was and why they knew his name, but it wasn't even necessary because the call ended as quickly as it had begun. He didn't want to dwell on it; it could be anyone, and to a certain extent, it frightened him. He hoped Blitzø and the others would return soon...
Then, half an hour later, while he was writing another chapter of his novel... the front door opened, he didn't look up thinking it was just another customer bothering him, but a pink hand landed on the desk.
''Here you are'' When he looked up, almost as if it were the twist of fate, Jace was standing in front of him.
Stolas was so relieved and excited to see him that he almost completely ignored his frown, but he couldn't jump up and hug him and tell him how happy he was to see him again because the incubus was demanding explanations with his gaze, and it was no small matter.
''Jace'' He whispered sadly, closing his notebook to focus all his attention on him.
"I needed to know if you were here, or at Blitzo's house." The incubus clarified that he had called just to see if he would answer. "So I was right. You were here all this time."
''Honey, I just-''
''You couldn't call or text to me even once'' Guilt overwhelmed him at his words; he was right, but the truth was that he had expected Jace to look for him rather than the other way around.
''I couldn't, you know very well I don't have a phone'' Stolas insisted apologetically, but the incubus's expression hadn't even changed; instead, he looked at the cell phone in his hand and the office phone. ''Jace, this cell phone isn't mine, it's Blitzø's! And the phone is for work.''
"And couldn't you make an exception just once, even just to tell me where you were?" Despite the anger in his voice, there was also a great sadness contained within.
"How could I? It's Blitzø's phones! Do you know how insensitive I'd look? He's giving me a place to live!" He explained briefly, but the truth was, Jace was right. They were just excuses because he was embarrassed to see him again.
"You could have stayed with me! You could have run to me when you lost everything, not gone with... him!" Stolas fell silent. Damn it, of course he should have done that, but he hadn't even thought about it; his mind was preoccupied with... Blitzø.
''I'm sorry, I really wanted to find you, I've missed you all this time but I didn't think I still had the right to be with you'' The owl explained with such shame that now his gaze was fixed on the desk so as not to look him in the eyes.
"Everyone's talking about you and him," the incubus explained, his voice heavy with pain and helplessness, his eyes now glassy. "They're talking about how you're together everywhere, holding hands and running all over the city. he's the one who has you imprisoned this time, but I know the truth. It's because it was all a lie, wasn't it? In the end, he's the one you want."
"Of course not! M-my love, don't say that!" Stolas stood up from his seat and ran to his boyfriend—if he still was—to try and take his hand. ''It was—it was real. I didn't have time to make things better, and I know I should have reached out to you instead of waiting for you to do it, but... Please don't say that."
"It's the truth! We had a great time, and even though we were only together for a month, they were the best days of my life," the incubus explained, feeling humiliated with every word, looking at him. "But for you, it was nothing more than a damn rebound relationship. And you know what? If that's what you wanted , fine , but you shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Giving me signs that it would be something serious, that I would meet your daughter... and then disappearing for more than a month, leaving me alone wondering if I did something wrong."
The former prince couldn't even answer, his beak twitching as he fought back tears. Jace snorted; this was a waste of time.
"I just needed to have a closure" He turned to head for the door. "Goodbye, sweetheart Be very happy."
The moment he saw him take a few steps toward the door he'd come from, the former prince bent down to grab his shoulder, forcing him to turn around again. He couldn't lose him again.
''No! No, my love, don't go'' He insisted in panic and pain, not even giving him time to refuse or accept because he had already pressed his beak against his boyfriend's lips, holding him tightly by the shirt so that he would not separate.
The sex demon had resisted at first, but in the end, he took the former prince by the nape of his neck, pulling him closer for a deeper kiss. They tasted each other's mouths as they had longed to do all these weeks.
Between the force of the kiss that barely contained what they had both longed for all this time apart, they began to walk. Stolas already knew how his boyfriend's hands roamed his body when he began to desire him, and he wasn't going to say no, he never could... but doing it here, with a portal that could appear at any moment, was a recipe for disaster, so they had to leave, but not before leaving a note saying he was leaving because he needed space.
Yes, it was a cruel tactic to use his depression to get with him, but... it wasn't like it was just a casual fling or because he was horny. His boyfriend was back in his life, and he had to appreciate him before everything fell apart again, because he knew it would.
Jace's house was far away, so going to a motel around the corner was the most viable option they could find, even though they could barely stand to get there.
They fell onto the bed, and a loud moan, almost hidden within a bird's screech, escaped his beak as the incubus began to undress him with frenzied abandon. It wasn't the gentle rhythm he was used to, the dazzling yet tender sex between the sheets they'd shared during their brief relationship, but he was never going to complain. He was amazed to have this rhythm, one he'd always enjoyed, but now that it came from the incubus he loved .
Their clothes were falling to the floor before they could even process it. The incubus was desperate to feel him, and well, just thinking about it made his panties wet. He was desired , and he desired him too.
''J-Jacey-!'' He could barely process when two of the incubus's fingers entered his cloaca; in his astonishment he had to cover his beak, which was also an attempt to hide a smile.
A few feathers fell from his body as the incubus —using his powers for what they were created for— made him pleasure even greater by swiftly finding his clitoris and making circular motions with his thumb, effortlessly. Oh, his boyfriend knew exactly where to touch and also understood how much it excited him when he simply stopped asking questions and just focused on taking him. How he had missed him.
And he had also missed his performance at oral sex. He arched his back on the bed the second the incubus began leaving a trail of kisses from his chest down between his legs, his mouth knowing exactly how he liked it and how to make him tremble. He barely registered the moment they changed positions so he could sit on Jace's face; he could look into the incubus's eyes as he continued to suck between his legs. Hearing the sounds of him licking, sucking, and kissing his dripping clit was so exciting that he arched slightly above him as the incubus brought him to orgasm after orgasm.
''D-darling, please, take me!'' He begged in a high-pitched voice with pleasure once he felt that his tongue and lips could no longer be the only thing that made him cum.
When he felt that cock going as deep as he liked, making that rhythmic thrusting in his wet cloaca, he did nothing but let himself go as the incubus fucked him properly. The incubus held the Goetia's legs over his shoulders, pushing himself against him, thrusting as the owl begged for more and more, pleading for his cock to take him to the limit. Without missing a beat, Jace leaned down to kiss him deeply.
Stolas had to hug him tighter and scratch his back to try and resist the overstimulation, following his lover's kiss as best he could, moving his tongue against his. The embrace kept their bodies pressed together, their positions even closer, their moans muffled by the other's mouth.
He opened his eyes, gazing at the incubus above him. It was so cute. All this time without it had only made him want him more. How could he have been so foolish as to let it go? He stroked its cheek, cradling its face in his fingers. Jace opened his eyes slightly to see the beautiful owl beneath him and leaned down to his caress.
It was like silently saying to each other, "I'm happy to have you back."
The owl's expression was changing; his eyebrows were furrowing, with some tears of ecstasy and excitement falling from his eyes, which meant he was about to come.
The mind-blowing orgasm that came not long after, Stolas arched his back one last time as the incubus came completely next to him, the hooting of the owl was the only sound in that hotel room during the first few seconds after the climax... Their breathing became coordinated as they were still together in the embrace after having finished.
Minutes later, they were sitting on the bed, leaning against each other, wrapped only in the hotel sheets. Stolas closed his eyes, resting his head on his shoulder. It had felt as good as it ever had, but the incubus remained silent. Now that the excitement had subsided and the tension had finally erupted, they needed to talk.
(Artwork by TanyaSpinel on Instagram).
"Jace... I never meant to break up," he confessed from the bottom of her heart, a deep shame in his voice, his eyes still closed to meet his boyfriend's gaze. "I really wanted to keep my promise, to keep seeing each other until things became official. It's all I ever wanted, but..."
"You weren't ready." To his surprise, the incubus understood, but that didn't mean he was happy. He looked ahead, not at the Goetia who was leaning against him. "I understand, we were going too fast. I suppose I scared you..."
"No, my sweet, don't say that," he insisted, taking his chin to make him look at his face, so he could see the shame and longing in his eyes. "You didn't scare me. I was very happy, and... now that you're here again, it's the first time in a long time that I've felt happy again. But... that doesn't change some things."
"Like what?" At the incubus's question, Stolas looked down at the ground. Everything with Blitzø was complicated, especially since Sinsmas , and he had to admit to himself that, he was never going to be able to leave him. And that's not all, he was also so distressed by the separation from his daughter that he couldn't concentrate on anything else, much less commit to a relationship.
But he doesn't want to leave Jace either, and that's not up for debate. However, how the hell was he going to make this work?
"It doesn't change the fact that there are days when I can't even get up from the couch," he murmured, feeling himself baring a part of his soul again, now expressing the pain in his heart. "All this time missing my sweet Via and missing you, trying to understand at the same time if I'm feeling something for Blitzø or if I'm just clinging to the past. I want to assure you that I won't run away again, but I'm not at a good point in my life to decide something like that right now. I can't give you my heart so soon at all, not with everything that's going on..."
If it had been someone else, the incubus might have been annoyed. But the honesty and pain were clear in his mate's expression. He took a few seconds to analyze everything his partner had confessed about his emotional state before making a decision. He shook his head after the silence before stroking the owl's back once more, looking at him with a mixture of firmness and longing.
"I love you, Stolas. I will always love you," he confessed, looking into his eyes. Jace could see tiny hearts reflected in his pupils. "And I know this is the worst time to talk about feelings, knowing what you're going through, but we've been on pause for too long. Wherever you go, I'll follow you. Let's do this your way. I'll adapt until your heart feels worthy of being happy."
Those simple words were all Stolas wanted to hear, even if he didn't know it. He had wanted to say them before, yes, but it wasn't the right time, and he wasn't even sure he understood what he felt. Now it was so clear, seeing in his eyes the same longing and yearning to have him back in his life.
He had nothing to offer him, no riches, no real benefit, not even his grimoire. Nothing... and yet he was here—damn, even when he still had all that, the incubus was still there the whole time.
"Would you do that for me...?" Stolas looked at him hoping it was a joke, but when it wasn't, he couldn't help but smile sweetly. "Oh, Jace. I-I love you too."
Stolas felt a tingle on his face as he said it, his cheeks flushing almost immediately at the confession.
The incubus leaned in, seeking another kiss, but the owl stopped him, placing a hand on his chest. It wasn't over yet.
"And do you know why I love you?" he murmured, a smile barely concealed. "Because from the moment you met me at that party, you never saw my crown, my title, or my legions. You looked at me, at my sadness, my longings. And now that I've lost everything, you still see me the same way because none of that was what you were looking for in me. You just noticed me , among everyone else at that party."
The former prince snuggled closer to his chest, his hand resting on his shoulder to keep his near.
"You're the first and only one who's seen me from the very beginning," he explained, her face now very close to his. "And I... it took me a while to realize it, forgive me. I would have done things differently from the start, but... now I'm trapped in a life I don't know how to get out of because I brought it on myself and—"
"You're not going to heal overnight just by being with me, love." He understood, he truly understood. Stolas remained silent, listening to the incubus's explanation. "You can have me, love me, and we can be together all the time... but that won't change how you feel or how life around you has changed from what you expected. You're not ready to rush into anything, not even a relationship, so we'll wait and take our time. We'll do it together."
It was all he wanted to hear. When he couldn't understand himself, it seemed his beloved understood him, making love so simple, even if he couldn't yet fully surrender himself. Now, snuggled against his body seeking warmth and connection, he was beginning to understand more about love.
Love is so much more than just yelling at the other person on a train not to leave, or feeling desired, or seeing each other as beautiful. Love is also patience, forgiveness, healing, and understanding.
And it was beautiful to learn it with someone who also loved him and who was also discovering what love was at the same time. He couldn't resist moving closer to Jace again to kiss him fiercely, hoping the kiss would demonstrate all the gratitude, passion, and longing he no longer intended to suppress, embracing him as if he never wanted to let go and sighing with relief when the embrace was returned, both of them almost as one beneath the sheets.
So that's how it began. He still had to work as a secretary at IMP and still had a lot of issues to resolve with Blitzø regarding his feelings and other problems, so there was still a long way to go, but receiving secret letters from Jace was a nice reminder that there was still something that could be salvaged in time. Sometimes they were letters hidden under an envelope claiming to be from accounts, or little notes he left on his desk the few times he came in, simply saying things like, "Love, Jace."
Maybe he couldn't see him every day, whether at a motel or at his place, but the few times he had him around felt exactly as they should be. Giving him his heart with a kiss or a brief visit made him feel like a small light in all the darkness. Things weren't right, and maybe it would take some time before he could fully commit... But it didn't matter; he wasn't going to let him go.
The best part was that he no longer had to read his novel every time he missed him just to have him back. Jace was here; he was real.