Work Text:
John shuffled nervously from foot to foot as he waited for Greg to answer the door.
"I've got something to show you." Greg had said earlier, inviting John over. John could hear the detective's sly grin, even at the other end of the phone.
So here he was. Hopping anxiously and with no idea what to expect.
"Johnny!" Greg exclaimed, pulling him inside and shutting the door quickly behind them.
"Err... hi, Greg." John eyed him suspiciously. Greg threw his head back and laughed.
"Jesus, mate. You look terrified. I'm won't bite!"
"Unless you ask me to." Greg winked and nodded his head in the direction of the bedroom.
"Come!" he instructed, lifting an eyebrow suggestively.
Well, whatever John had been expecting, it wasn't a follow-up invite to the DI's bedroom.
Not sober, straight, not-gay John.
He hesitated a moment before Greg shouted back through from the bedroom.
"It'll be worth it."
Curiosity well and truly peaked, John wandered through, completely unprepared for what he saw.
Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade.
Laid out on the bed like a starfish.
Stark bollock naked.
His cock standing proud and erect.
Surrounded by... nothing.
Completely bald and smooth. Not a hair in sight.
"Oh my god!" John exclaimed. "You did it!"
Greg grinned, nodded and grabbed his length.
"Now let's get this up YOUR bum"