Archive of Our Own

“Incorrect,” Kaiser clicks his tongue. Then, in a more sour tone, spits out, “Again.” He takes the pencil that sat neatly on the edge of his desk and circles the question Isagi’s spent a good eight minutes on. “And for the nth damn time, Yoichi.”

“Hey, I wasn’t even done answering that one!” Isagi glares at the occupant of the chair next to his. Kaiser’s head rests on his palm, the sharp pencil lead treading close to his neck as he stifles a yawn with his other hand.

“You didn’t need to finish for me to know you were doomed to fail,” Kaiser says matter-of-factly, rolling his eyes as he puts one leg over the other out of habit. He’s wearing those agonizingly short shorts Isagi’s parents bought him—way too short for Isagi’s liking. And when Kaiser sits with his legs crossed like that, the meat of his thighs expands in a way that makes them look like they’re about to explode. Isagi wonders what they would taste like. 

Sweet? No way, there’s not a single nice bone in his body. But if Isagi had to guess, they’d definitely be tender, the type you’d want to keep sucking on all day. He takes a massive gulp, envisioning the feast until Kaiser tilts his head using his pencil. “Eyes up here, Yoichi.” Having been caught, Isagi feels the sudden urge to bury himself. Then Kaiser.  

Right, Kaiser. It was always Kaiser. It was that shameless bastard’s fault. His whole dilemma started because of him, and hell, it wouldn’t even exist if he weren’t here in the first place.

“No response?”

With his reddened cheeks still recovering, Isagi bites back at an unbothered Kaiser. “You just want me to fail.”

“Can’t deny that.” Kaiser shrugs, then yawns unabashedly—realizing there was no need for charity. “But I have to admit, this is getting boring pretty quickly, Yoichi.” He brushes his fingers across his hair and adds, “With all the problem sets I’ve given and the time I spent pouring my knowledge into you, you’d expect even a bottomless vessel to at least improve.”

“...” Isagi stays quiet, gritting his teeth as he resists the urge to retort, to bare his fangs, because no matter how you look at it, Kaiser had a point.

“Even if you are stupid, Yoichi. You usually aren’t this pathetic.” Kaiser lays the pencil down and stretches his arms over his head, preparing to leave. “But whatever it is, go sort it out before I come back. I won’t waste time instructing someone who obviously doesn’t have the will to learn.”

Isagi balls up his fists. Before Kaiser can completely vanish from arm's reach, Isagi tugs his hand harshly, deep blue eyes fueled with rage staring deeply into Kaiser’s. “It’s your fault, naked emperor!”

Kaiser slaps his hand away with an irked expression. “Ha?” He rests a hand on his hip and clicks his tongue. “I don’t recall having done anything recently that warrants this much contempt, shitty Yoichi.”

“Whatever, it’s still your fault!” Isagi screams, pointing a finger of blame at Kaiser.

Kaiser blinks twice, then sighs exasperatedly, as if realizing he was talking to a brick wall. “You’re not making any sense,” he answers in a frustrated tone as he facepalms.

Isagi uses this opening to grab both of Kaiser’s shoulders. “Look, Kaiser, I—” 

A lightbulb clicks in Kaiser’s head. “Ah!” he exclaims with his pointer finger pointing up. “I see.” Kaiser nods to himself, which causes a wave of confusion for Isagi and momentarily causes his movements to pause. “You’re at that age, aren’t you?” Isagi, caught off guard, is shoved back to his chair with Kaiser’s unparalleled brute strength. 

“Hey, what are you—” 

Kaiser then proceeds to straddle Isagi’s lap; Isagi grunts from the weight. He shifted his position until they were just a few centimeters apart. “Are you sexually frustrated, Yoichi?” Kaiser finds Isagi’s hand and guides it towards his thigh. “Your eyes were glued right here.” Kaiser then proceeds to squeeze Isagi’s hand from the outside, causing a chain reaction that earns Isagi a firm grasp of what he mentally notes is very fleshy meat. 

“Stop harassing me!” Isagi yelps, shaking Kaiser’s hand off. Kaiser stands up and dusts his lap—which Isagi thinks is another one of Kaiser’s ploys to entrance him. (It isn’t)

“You should say the same for yourself, perverted Yoichi.” Kaiser taps a finger on Isagi’s chest before plopping down on his bed. “Should I believe that those vulgar positions you end up putting me in during trainings are mere accidents from unexpected ‘collisions’?” Kaiser air quotes. “You know, I’m beginning to think you have ulterior motives.”

“Those were accidents!”

Kaiser hums with a disinterested look; he obviously does not believe him. And he’s crossing those long fucking legs again as if to taunt him.

“How about this? If you score above 90 on your next test, I'll let you ravage these,” he smirks, a quick glance at his thighs before swiftly wiggling his eyebrows. “You want to bite? Squeeze maybe even lic—”

“Hey! What’s your problem!” Isagi screams, throwing his notebook at him—though Kaiser dodges because he’s just that good; it’s infuriating.

“Not enough? You’re gross, Yoichi.” Kaiser picks up the notebook and throws it even harder. “A complete fucking incel.”

Isagi barely dodges. But it still counts, so ha! Although he internally celebrates this small win, Isagi still has another war to fight. “Me? Gross? You’re the one so adamant about me touching you!”

“You’re distracted. Thought you’d want motivation.” Kaiser shrugs without a care in the world. Yes, he’s essentially crushing Isagi’s world without even realizing it. Seriously, just stop cutting me off whenever I get to the good part, you asshole!

“Thought you’d be disgusted.” After a rumor of his thigh kink somehow spread to even the seniors’ level, which confirmed what Kaiser had originally suspected, Isagi thought he’d die of shame. Surprisingly, however, Kaiser had said nothing during that time, which Isagi thought had meant this would be a topic they’d never have to breach—but he was wrong. 

He’s facing the consequences now.

With eyebrows scrunched in disgust and a face full of unadulterated contempt, Kaiser spits out,  “It is disgusting. You absolutely repulse me.” 

“Says the one who was practically begging me to touch them.” Isagi rolls his eyes. It’s exactly because of that twisted personality that made him even more reluctant to name his own twisted feelings for him. “Guess being called ‘naked emperor’ wasn’t just for show.”

“But you’re funny. Besides, you were the one who gave me that nickname, perv,” Kaiser retorts, then continues to call Isagi names, “Freak.” With a harsher tone comes, “Degenerate.” Then, with a go-die-you-absolutely-worthless-piece-of-shit tone, “Incel.” 

And before Kaiser can continue his incessant yapping, Isagi cuts him off with a sigh. “Why are you like this?”

Kaiser shrugs. “Can’t you just not fail physics for once? It’s embarrassing that people know I tutor you.” 

“Maybe become a better tutor?” 

That’s untrue. The moment Kaiser started tutoring him during the last semester of his first year, his grades immediately shot up, surprising his peers. 

Isagi, you arent’t that dumb after all?

Were you hiding your intelligence?

Hey, man, sorry for thinking you were stupid.

Still, despite being a player who excels in putting pieces together, numbers are on a completely different level! He at least passed that year, so all is good, right? Kaiser’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain, right?

Kaiser raises his eyebrow. “Then pay me?” Well, it’s not like Kaiser’s tutoring him for free out of the kindness of his heart. Because he doesn’t have a heart. Yes, he’s a completely irredeemable bastard who tutors him because he wants to ease the stress of Isagi’s parents, because he’s actually not that bad at all.

“I come from a very humble fami—”

Before Isagi can start yapping about his humble background, his life story, his parents’ life story, and whatever he feels like adding to his ‘impromptu’ but not really impromptu speech, Kaiser cuts him off. “Die.”

Isagi meekly smiles, then drops it when Kaiser shows a motion of slicing his throat. “Fine, I’ll take this more seriously.”

“Good boy,” he praises, which makes Isagi want to slice Kaiser’s throat instead. He’s not Ness!

“Don’t call me that.” And now that Isagi realizes that plan A is completely unsalvageable and doomed to fail from the start, he moves to plan B. Die—which is exactly what Kaiser told him to do a while ago, and because he’d never submit to that overly pompous bastard, he switches to plan C. 

Make Kaiser think he’s so cool for acing his worst subject—which is consequently Kaiser’s best subject—and get him wooed to the point he inevitably confesses his feelings, which he is completely oblivious to but completely exists anyway! Still, because this task is equivalent to scoring a hat trick with a Michael Kaiser on the field, he can be a bit greedy, right? “But I need a reward.”

“Thighs?”

“For the last fucking time, no!” 

Kaiser looks him dead in the eyes with a contemptuous glare. “I’m not passing to you.”

“As if, idiot. I have soccer morals.” Isagi’s done the math—ironic because he’s bad at it—the teacher always gives back test papers three days after, because he’s a workaholic, and that day falls on the 14th. February 14th, to be exact, which just happens to be Valentine’s Day. “But if I fulfill my end of the deal, I want you to make me chocolate.” 

Is it wrong to want to receive chocolate from the guy you like?

“Your teeth are going to fall off if you keep eating sugar.” And as far as Kaiser knows, Isagi had a sweet tooth, so it’d be perfectly logical to ask for some, right? Right? 

Wait, is it even a good thing if your crush doesn’t know you have feelings when you want to get together? Fuck.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat these instead?” Kaiser asks, groping his thighs. Seriously, stop doing that!

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Are you expecting an ‘I love you too,’ Yoichi?” Kaiser adds emphasis on the words that toy with Isagi’s heart, sweet and thinly glazed with faux sugar. And stop saying things like that! 

“I’ll seriously kill you.” 

“But you love my cooking, right? Guess I really am the better son…” Kaiser wipes a fake tear with pity. Seriously, what do his parents see in this two-faced bastard?

“Stop stealing my parents, you thieving cat!”

“Maybe become a better son?” Kaiser innocently tilts his head while raising his brow.

Wow, way to throw Isagi’s words back at him.

“Hand me a knife.”

“All bark, no bite,” Kaiser whistles.

After everyone finishes expressing gratitude, Iyo immediately adds food to Kaiser’s bowl. 

“Thank you so much for tutoring Yo-chan again, Mii-chan. I made all the food you enjoyed, so make sure to eat your fill so you can grow up healthy!” 

“Thank you, Iyo-san,” Kaiser replies with a smile. 

Isagi steals a peek at his side. Although Kaiser was still wary, he wasn’t as stiff as he used to be. Back when Kaiser had first moved in with the Isagis because they’d taken up being his host family (to lessen the tuition in Blue Lock), he used to down his food in a hurry, as if he was running away from something. 

Then, Isagi caught sight of it once—a face that screamed of vomit.

Incidentally, either the guest bathroom would be occupied after dinner, or Kaiser would head outside for hours with the excuse of needing a breath of fresh air. When Isagi confronted him, Kaiser just told him to fuck off, which caused a huge fight between them. They didn’t talk to each other for a week until the whole ordeal was resolved when Kaiser told him to bring him water when he asked, and in turn, he wouldn’t wander far.

But it still bothered him to the point he’d take Kaiser out to eat in convenience stores before they went home. It was the first time Isagi noticed how cold Kaiser was off the field. He was quiet, and more so apathetic. The snarls and taunts he’d usually throw his way were nonexistent. He couldn’t believe the meek guy eating microwaved onigiri beside him was the Michael Kaiser. The Michael Kaiser who intercepted his shot and quite blatantly told Blue Lock to get on their damn knees. He would’ve laughed if he didn’t feel it would’ve torn him apart.

Once it got to a point, his mother had scolded them for being too reliant on processed food. That night, for the first time in his stay, Kaiser had asked for help. He wasn’t begging, yet it felt like a silent plea to make up an excuse. Anything as long as he could stay away from the dinner table—from his parents.

On the first day, Isagi said Kaiser was too tired to eat dinner. On the next, he told them he had a stomach bug. Then, more excuses piled up until they meekly accepted that Kaiser wouldn’t eat dinner with them. It was fine, it’s not like he was a bad kid; he was polite and did everything he was asked to. Besides, leaving food for him wasn’t a problem since he always cleaned up after himself.

It was after a month that Kaiser had voluntarily sat himself at the table. Isagi and, of course, his parents, were extremely shocked at first, holding their breaths upon Kaiser’s first contact with the chair. Kaiser smiled as if nothing was wrong and everyone had resumed their movements, acting like it was clearly normal despite the intense surge of relief. 

Kaiser’s face, his voice, his posture, they lacked the uneasiness he clearly possessed during his first months here. He started eating with them spontaneously, and more frequently these days. Eventually, Isagi could start to pick up when Kaiser would join them—call it a sixth sense.

Isagi doesn’t know if Kaiser was aware of his Kaiser sense? Or whatever his intuition was called. But Kaiser isn’t an idiot to not know that whenever he’d eat dinner, the food he enjoyed was always present. He never asked why though. Hell, even Isagi’s mother stopped asking why Isagi knew and eventually went with the flow.

Still, Isagi’s glad he’s able to make that kind of face now. It even makes him look—what’s that word again? Cute? 

Ew, that’s fucking gross—and so true that he wants to rip his hair out and eat it until he chokes and dies. 

“That again? I told you to call me mom, remember,” she pouts, puffing her cheeks in a way that shouldn’t make a woman her age look adorable, but it does. 

Kaiser laughs casually. “I’m afraid Yoichi might get jealous. These days, he’s worried I’m stealing you from him.”

Issei laughs, but Iyo ruffles Isagi’s hair. “You still get jealous at this age, Yo-chan? Don’t worry, mama still loves you very much, so eat up. I know you like these too,” she assures while adding food onto Isagi’s bowl. 

Isagi’s cheeks flush, and he points accusatory chopsticks at Kaiser. “Mom, don’t listen to him, he’s a liar!”

“I know you kids love to fight during games, but aren’t you being too mean to him right now, Yoichi?” Issei adds in. 

Isagi’s own mother backs him up, “That’s right, Yo-chan, Mii-chan is well-behaved.” She then points at Kaiser with an open palm. “Look at him, he’s a total sweetheart!” In the background, Issei nods profusely.

And when Isagi turns his head, Kaiser is waving his hand with a saccharine smile that flaunts innocence. 

Isagi sighs and puts the chopsticks down. His parents have fallen under his spell. “It’s like you guys always band together against me,” he replies in defeat and starts eating his meal.

To his dismay, everyone starts laughing. Yes, his birth parents are making fun of him. Emphasis on birth again. And yes, he has resigned to this life of being the common punching bag ever since Kaiser had willingly sat in the dining room during that one fateful day. 

Isagi steals a glance to his right from underneath his bangs. Kaiser is laughing lightheartedly, as if his previous complications were all a lie. And perhaps Isagi feels sacrificing his dignity as a son is better than going back to those days. 

 “Isagi, over here!” Bachira yells, raising a hand so Isagi could locate him from the crowd. 

Although they were in the same class, Bachira ran ahead to secure them a table. As usual, he sat on the edge. Isagi walks towards him and neatly places his lunchbox down before dropping his head on the table and screaming.

Bachira laughs without restraint—unhelpful. He only stops briefly when interrupted by Hiori and Kurona.

“Hi, Bachira,” Hiori greets, settling himself on the opposite side of the duo while Kurona follows suit, bowing his head in lieu of a vocal greeting.

“What’s up with him?” Hiori asks casually.

“Hmmmm,” Bachira drawls out while trying to chew his food at the same time. “Love troubles?”

“Emperor, emperor!” Kurona adds.

“Yup! It’s definitely about He-Who-Must-Be-Named!” Bachira cheerfully replies.

Isagi groans louder. “Don’t call him that!” His head is still resting on the table, and his back is killing him. Somehow, Isagi still blames this on Kaiser.

“Should we just eat?” Hiori asks. The two quickly begin to unpack their lunchboxes and express gratitude.

Does no one seriously care about him anymore? Sure, he was shocked that Bachira completely abandoned him, but he’s a bit weird, so he can forgive that. Hiori? No surprise since he had a reputation for being a sadist. But Kurona? Even him?

Did any of his friends actually like him?

Bachira spots their other friends and waves them over. “Kunigami, Chigirin, over here!” Speak of the devil(s).

“Yo,” Chigiri greets. “Is Isagi still working on his unrequited crush?” He sits beside Isagi, and Kunigami sits on his right.

Isagi instantly raises his head, eliciting shock from everyone present. “It's not unrequited. He just doesn't know it yet!”

“Is he depressed or in denial?” Kunigami questions without any tact. Isagi expected that from Chigiri, but from Kunigami too? His faux big brother? Chigiri is seriously a bad influence on him. They should break up.

“In denial,” Chigiri unhelpfully replies. “He still has confidence.”

Bachira shakes his head. “But I think Isagi is depressed! Look, even his ahoge is down!” 

“Same. Depressed, depressed,” Kurona energetically adds in.

“Which side are you on, Hiori?” Chigiri asks with food still in his mouth. You guys are going to choke if you keep this up! Is choking worth gossiping about me?

“Neither. How about Kunigami?” 

“Denial.”

“Well, it looks like we have a tie!” Bachira claps his hands as an icebreaker. 

Isagi stares at his “friends” blankly. “You guys aren’t going to ask me about it?”

To his surprise, they all ignore him. Chigiri spots a mop of purple hair and waves him over. “Reo! Over here!”

Reo smiles, walking towards the group with Nagi perched peacefully on his back. He meticulously sets Nagi on the chair beside Kurona before plopping himself down. 

“Reo, do you think Isagi is depressed or in denial?” Chigiri brings it up right away.

Reo answers while executing his daily routine of feeding Nagi, “Don’t know. Denial?” Chigiri and Kunigami clap their hands in victory. Isagi expected Nagi to just… be Nagi, but Reo too? They were tight! Bro’s even! Hell, he was the MVP in getting him together with Nagi! That bastard owed him his happiness!

“What about Nagi?” Hiori questions.

Bachira replies quickly, “He won’t reply anyway!” 

“Yeah, why are you even dating him?” Chigiri asks Reo judgmentally.

“Love is love,” Nagi quips while sticking his tongue out at Chigiri, and in turn, the redhead rolls his eyes while drawing out a boooo. Isagi never understood their relationship. Were they friends or enemies? Why do they act so petty when the other is involved, when they used to have a somewhat (but not really) father-son relationship?

“Ah, he spoke,” Kunigami comments. 

“True, true. The power of love is terrifying.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Reo raises an eyebrow at Kurona. 

“Stop, stop, you’re being scary.” Kurona nudges his seatmate. “Hiori, switch with me.”

“Nah,” Hiori responds coldly—albeit with a smile on his face.

“Eh?” Kurona yelps.

Watching the scene unfold in front of him, Isagi sighs dejectedly. From his side, Bachira nudges him meekly. “Are you not going to eat, Isagi?” 

It startles Isagi, but he smiles. Wow, I actually exist. “I wonder, Bachira. I really wonder.”

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Chigiri, and he begins to keep in mind Isagi’s presence. “Oh, wait. I’m actually curious. How many times have you tried to confess?” Because he hates him.

“So I’m not actually invisible, am I?” Isagi asks rhetorically. “I lost count. It’s like he has a sixth sense where he cuts me off whenever I try to.”

After Isagi sighs for the nth time, his friends all chime in at once. 

“Damn.”

“Tough.”

“Good luck… I guess?”

And he sighs once more. Should he leave them?

“Isn’t he, like, enemy-zoning you?” Chigiri comments.

“Enemy-zoning? Is that even a word?” Reo chimes in, still feeding Nagi as if he were a toddler. He swears he heard a “here comes the airplane” variation come out of Reo’s mouth. Isagi isn’t typically a “hater” because he values his friends and all, but it gets to a point. Or was it because he was jealous because he swears he never used to think like this—

Hiori cuts off his train of thought, “Isagi has this thing called ‘metavision’ and…”

Isagi slams the table with both hands. “Anyways, that isn’t the point!”

Chigiri counters, “But isn’t it true that you’re chasing the impossible?”

“The one who reveals the impossible!” Bachira promptly adds in a singsong voice.

“He’s definitely reading too much into Kaiser’s flirting. It used to be fun at first, but he actually turned out to be a tsundere.” Then, with a more hushed tone, “Loser…”

“I heard that, princess…” Isagi glares at Chigiri. Why does he have a split personality whenever he gets moody? 

“Wait, guys,” Kunigami declares with authority. “Shouldn’t Hiori be giving him some advice since he’s dating a senior?”

“Wait, shouldn’t you be eating with Karasu?” Reo directs to Hiori.

“Don’t be cold, cold,” Kurona scolds.

“We’re a couple, not married,” Hiori supplies arbitrarily. “Besides, I think he has a chance with his ‘naked emperor’ or whatever Isagi calls him with his very questionable naming sense.”

Isagi could almost cry. It turns out he wasn’t fully abandoned! He’ll forgive the slander on his naming sense; right now, he wants to hug him. “Hiori—”

“Fifty-fifty on this, though. But it’s not as if it’s impossible.”

Oh. 

“If you say so, bro.” Chigiri raises his hand. “But shouldn’t we ask the licensed therapist too?” 

Reo turns his head at the epithet, chopsticks balls-deep in Nagi’s mouth while said boyfriend rests lazily on his shoulder. “Hm? My opinion?” 

“Reo, I’m full~” Nagi whines. For a second, the group blinks twice in unison, then continues along with their day. Chigiri and Kunigami look at each other for a moment before briefly resuming to eat. 

Reo, unaware of these events, wipes Nagi’s mouth with a napkin. “Well, I believe that Kaiser is a hard nut to crack, but if it’s Isagi, then I think he can do it.”

Isagi wants to cry again. His friendship… Reo didn’t cut him off after all. “Reo—”

“Saaaaaaame!” Bachira cheers happily.

“Isagi is a fighter!” Kurona merilly chimes in.

“Welp, I’m rooting for you, bud. Condolences though.”

Kunigami nudges his boyfriend. “What, I’m being considerate?” Chigiri fights back, but Kunigami shakes hid head in disapproval.

“Don’t die because he kills you, Isagi,” Kunigami adds affirmingly.

“Bachira, Kurona, Kunigami, even Chigiri!” Chigiri raises a brow at the even bit. “Guys, you don’t hate me after all!” Nagi is Nagi after all, so he’s definitely sleeping, but since his boyfriend is on his side, then they count as a package deal! Basically, he has the support of his whole friend group!

The table grows deafeningly silent as everyone avoids Isagi’s gaze. 

“I don’t hate you, Isagi!”

“Agreed, agreed.”

Sans Bachira and Kurona.

Well, two is greater than one and inarguably a lot better than none.

“Thank you… Bachira and Kurona,” Isagi says almost irritably—towards the white sheep. But the irritation quickly fades when he spots a mop of blue-blond hair from the crowd. “Wait, guys. I’ll be off for a bit,” Isagi adds before grabbing a small container and running off to Kaiser.

“Ah, there he goes again…” Hiori mentions offhandedly.

“So… “ Chigiri prolongs. “Anyone wanna bet?”

Having caught up to Kaiser and Ness, who were currently sitting in an isolated two-seater table, Isagi catches his breath.

“Shitty Yoichi, what are you doing here? Stop bothering Kaiser.”

Isagi ignores his pet and directs his words to the owner. “Kaiser, you like bread crust rusks, right?”

Ness almost stands up, but Kaiser gives him a look. The blond glares at Isagi. “I don’t. Get lost.”

“Don’t lie. I know you like them,” he argues, handing it over to Kaiser.  “Here. You can have mine.”

Kaiser pushes his hand away. “Ha? You keep it, shitty Yoichi.”

And Isagi pushes it back until it becomes a battle of strength. “No, you like these, right? You keep it!” The box is almost touching Isagi’s chest, but he refuses to give up, which earns a scowl from Kaiser. “I haven't even touched these yet, I swear!”

Kaiser, having been disrupted while eating, calls out for his dog. “Ness.”

Ness beams, instantly standing to drag Isagi back to his original table. Isagi struggles with all his might, but since Ness was used to his persistence, he eventually learned self-defense techniques to tackle him away. However, Isagi is an adaptive playmaker, so just as he was about to be too far, he throws the box on the table, which brings out a harsh clang. 

“My mom really likes that container, so don’t throw it,” Isagi shouts from afar. Kaiser turns his head to shoot a nasty glare, but Isagi smirks. 

Kaiser sighs heavily but eventually opens the box. Isagi counts that as a win in his book—even if Ness was currently acting out a motion of slicing his throat.

“I’m going! I’m going! Just let go of me!”

Isagi has a test in the morning—a physics test. Not just any physics test, the physics test. It’s the do-or-die make-Kaiser-think-he’s-so-cool-for-acing-his-worst-subject-and-get-him-wooed-to-the-point-he-inevitably-confesses-his-feelings-which-he-is-completely-oblivious-to-but-completely-exists-anyway plan C. So now, he’s currently spending another hour revising to make sure he’s fully prepared for whatever comes out—in Kaiser’s room.

As for why he’s studying there—it’s complicated. He doesn’t remember the hows and whys, but it’s sort of a force of habit—whatever, it’s complicated!

There’s background noise, Kaiser and Ness talking on a call. They’re discussing soccer tactics, school-related problems, and other trivial matters that flow in through Isagi’s ear and out the other.

Faced with numerous symbols, formulas, and the like, Isagi’s eyes start closing at short notice. This is bad…

He turns his back and finds Kaiser draped on his bed. Without realizing, he strolls over and demands indifferently, “Kaiser, scoot over.”

Kaiser takes his eyes away from his phone and snaps back, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m going to fail…” Isagi whines, but to no avail. He tries again, “I’m going to die.” Since the pompous blond bastard doesn’t budge an inch, he uses his trump card. “My parents will be lonely…”

Kaiser pauses for a moment, then sighs. “They’ll still have me,” he shoots back, but he leaves some space for Isagi—although it was still cramped because he took up more than enough space make Isagi’s sleep as uncomfortable as it can be.

Isagi lazily flops down and lets out a contented sigh. “Wake me up in an hour.”

He hears a tch from Kaiser, but since it isn’t a direct no, he believes he’ll do it anyway. Although he has moments that show his absolute disdain for him, he’s still his tutor, so Isagi believes he’ll do the right thing, right? Well, if he doesn’t, he’ll just blame it on him if he fails—but failing isn’t cool, so he tucks that page away and floats to dreamland. 

“Kaiser! Kaiser! You’re seriously going to let that shitty Yoichi do as he pleases?” Ness screams Kaiser’s ear off, but Kaiser roughly covers Isagi with the comforter—not bothering to fix it, even with the slim chance of him suffocating.

Kaiser exhales softly. “I’ll be made into a murderer if I let this little kid freeze to death.”

Ness stops momentarily; he has a knowing look in his eyes as he watches Kaiser’s lingering gaze. 

“At least make sure he suffers, okay?”

It snaps Kaiser’s focus back to him, his softened expression morphing to his usual shit-eating grin. 

“Also, the bakery I mentioned yesterday! It has the type of food you like, so let’s go there on the weekend!”

Pencil. Check.

Eraser. Check.

Watch. Check.

His knowledge and focus are in his head, so that’s a check as well.

Once the teacher signaled it was okay to start, he speedily breezed through the questions. Unsurprisingly, most of Kaiser’s problem sets covered the same material on the test, sans a few problems, but he managed to find a fitting solution for most. Calculating the number of problems he was certain he got correct and the ones he was unsure of, Isagi hands his paper with a smirk. 

He’s confident. 

Kaiser will be handing him his homemade box of chocolate for Valentine's.

Which is what he originally thought until he received his paper back.

88.

His eyes widened in shock, and the number seemed as if it was mockingly staring back at him. Isagi recounts the number of marks he received for each question. 

No way, no way…

There was no way his calculations would fail him to this extent. It’s just not possible… It’s impossible!

The number he got from recalculating was 93. It was within the range he had predicted… so why? Just as he was about to confront the teacher, he spotted a 5-point deduction on the corner.

What!

And then he glances towards the side. 

Isagi Yoichi had forgotten to write his name.

Today is February 14. It’s Valentine’s Day, the day globally recognized as the celebration of love and romance. 

Yet here Isagi was, mourning his defeat and failed love. 

Many girls were handing out their chocolates to guys they liked, between breaks and other free periods. But he doesn’t recall any of them at all.

He was like an empty shell. He wouldn’t move until someone (mostly Bachira) asked him to. Although Bachira tried to get him to stop sulking, even bringing out the chocolates he was asked to pass on to him (since everyone could sense he wasn’t in a “capable of holding a conversation” state), his mood wasn’t a tad uplifted. 

“Stop moping, Isagi! Loooook, you got some chocolates this year! Good job!” Bachira encourages, waving the colorful trinkets in front of him. But Isagi didn’t budge, instead staring into empty space with dreary eyes. 

He didn’t do well in practice either. After having the ball stolen from him more than enough times in their scrimmage match, he was subbed out—benched. He was benched for practically the first time in his second year! 

Although he doubts this trivial (no, it’s not!) matter would actually affect him in a real match, he currently couldn’t see a future ahead of him.

“Yoichi, carry this.”

It got worse when Kaiser tossed him a bag after practice, and he got hit on the head because of his carelessness. He didn’t retaliate either, and when Kaiser noticed he was too dead to function, he took the fallen bag with one hand and ushered him to follow with a grumble.

The walk home was quieter than usual—although they didn’t necessarily talk during these times anyway. It was Kaiser who broke the silence. Unusual, since he didn’t really initiate conversation to occupy the silence. 

“I take it that you failed that test?”

“I didn’t fail,” Isagi counters without any real bite. He knows pouting like this probably made him seem more pathetic in Kaiser’s eyes, and the disparity between them just keeps getting wider because how the hell do you carry two bags of chocolate and your school bag with a steady posture after a rough practice match and still look so good? But there’s practically nothing Isagi can currently do until he replenishes his energy and launches another attack on this prissy bastard, whom he is undeniably crushing on.

“Oh?”

“I got an 88.”

“Your highest yet,” Kaiser remarks. He almost looked like he was proud of himself.

“But it still wasn’t enough…”

Kaiser hums thoughtfully, lost in a rhythm before he replies, “Yeah, never thought you’d get above 90 points on those questions.”

Ha? After all the effort I made? Did he think he was that stupid? “I did! I did!” Kaiser raises an eyebrow, but Isagi doesn’t blame him for being skeptical. After all, it was a sort of stupid mistake… “It’s just,” Isagi pauses, head drooped low. “I got points deducted…”

“From immoral behavior?” Isagi thinks Kaiser’s brain is really weird. Whether he thought of him as a monkey or a pervert, he probably looked two-dimensional in his head. 

“I forgot to write my name.”

Kaiser stops in his tracks, hyena cackling with all the mirth in the world. And seriously, how can you make a face like that? Actually, Why? 

Why can you make me feel like this?

“Hey,” Isagi growls as a warning, but Kaiser doesn’t take him seriously in times like this, stuck in his own world of celebrating Isagi’s misery with a laugh that makes Isagi feel like he was on cloud nine.

But Kaiser eventually stops and grabs a box from his bag, dangling it in front of Isagi like a carrot on a stick. “Guess I have to eat these myself.” Then he says something so extremely foul that it makes Isagi grimace. “Or give them to Ness since he enjoys stuff like this.”

Isagi didn’t necessarily think of himself as a jealous man, but this overly self-centered, egotistic, pompous asshole always brought out the nastiest emotions in him. “Don't give him my leftovers!” 

“They were never yours to begin with, shitty Yoichi,” he scolds while rolling his eyes. 

“Still—”

“Don’t worry. I heard you received a lot of chocolates during class hours,” Kaiser mentions passive-aggressively. Although he has a lot of baggage from carrying the chocolates addressed to him in the clubroom, he’s still somehow able to walk a few steps further. Isagi can’t see his face now. “You’re quite popular with the girls, Yoichi.”

Stop sounding jealous when you’re the one who received chocolates from, like, half of Japan’s female population! I’m the one who should be jealous! Actually, no, I’m super jealous, you bastard!

Even when faced with his internal turmoil, Isagi found it in himself to reply collectedly, “I declined all of them, though.” 

Kaiser starts matching Isagi’s pace again. “Hm? What’s this? You wanted to enjoy my chocolates that badly?”

Yes, yes, so just tell me you like me! I’m certain you like me! You really like me, you asshole!

“Don’t twist my words, naked emperor.”

Kaiser hums, and Isagi tries to inch carefully by his side—ever so slowly so Kaiser won’t notice. “I have some extra chocolate from home economics,” he mentions suddenly. “They’re not as good as the ones I originally made for you, though.”

Isagi raises his head towards Kaiser, big blue eyes all sparkly as if Kaiser hung the moon and stars. “You’re giving me chocolate?”

In lieu of answering Isagi’s question, Kaiser throws a small, clear bag of chocolate at his face from his pocket. Isagi catches it and beams, immediately opening the pack to take a piece in his mouth. 

Argh!

He almost chokes. 

There’s the distinct sound of a camera shutter from nearby, and based on the giggling (and twisted personality) of the object of his affections, it’s obvious who snapped the pic. “That’s a good face you’re making, Yoichi.”

Isagi is in a fit of coughs, bowed down and hands gripping his neck and stomach, desperately struggling to get the tinge of burn citrus out of his taste buds while Kaiser stands menacingly tall in front of him. Isagi raises his head from below, glaring at Kaiser. “This was a failed batch, wasn’t it? Why do you still have this?”

Kaiser doesn’t answer, wearing his usual smirk. It makes Isagi want to bash his head into the concrete.

You were going to eat them, weren’t you?

Isagi still remembers when his parents went on a trip and left them to the house. They had run out of groceries, but they left more than enough money, intending for them to buy whatever they wanted and deemed necessary. Since Kaiser didn’t want to get out of bed, he asked him for a list of what he wanted and bought them by himself.

When he returned, he found Kaiser eating bread on the dinner table. He found it strange at first, but figured it wasn’t anything to fret about at the moment. It was only when he was packing the groceries into the fridge that he remembered. “Kaiser, isn’t that bread expired?”

“Not sure,” he responds, still chewing on the loaf of bread.

“I bought more here so you can throw it away now,” Isagi adds, sneaking glances while placing groceries.

“It’s fine,” Kaiser dismisses.

“Hm?” It makes Isagi more irritable. He takes on a more serious tone. “I’m not kidding. Throw it out.”

Kaiser forms a quizzical look. “It’s perfectly fine? Don’t look at me like that, shitty Yoichi.”

“You’ll get a stomachache.”

Kaiser grumbles, “I’m telling you, my stomach has a high tolerance. It won’t hurt just because I ate expired bread.”

“It’s not about the pain, it’s because it’s unhealthy!” Isagi walks over to grab the bread from him. “Give me that.” 

Kaiser faces him with an annoyed expression, but doesn’t complain once Isagi hands him a newer piece of bread.

Isagi sighs as he watches Kaiser eat from afar. At least this solved the mystery of the missing expired food that usually rested in the far crevices of the refrigerator, but this left a bigger dilemma at hand. 

Kaiser’s past wasn’t something he was privy too nor was it a subject Kaiser wanted to touch. But he can sort of make out some parts; the fuller picture is what worries him the most, however. What kind of childhood did someone as twisted as you have to go through? And just how strong are you to have made it out alive?

Ever since then, Isagi learned to be more vigilant about leaving expired food in the fridge, lest Kaiser found them.

“Everything under the sun is edible.”

That’s bullshit. And it’s worse that Kaiser’s taste palette is just as perplexing as he is. There’s barely any food he really liked, so it took a year to find a few—and you could count them with one hand! 

And the fact that he learned them from Ness makes it the worst. Isagi knew Ness definitely knew more, but he adamantly refused and berated him with a you don’t deserve to know and all sorts of detrimental profanities he’s glad the translation buds didn’t pick during the times he would beg him. His change of heart came more quickly than he imagined. Isagi wonders if his persistence is what won him over or something else entirely, but whatever the case, he had a debt he owed—which Isagi is a bit reluctant to pay back because of the continuous and never-ending assassination attempts.

But at least Kaiser currently had someone who took him out to eat in places he liked. Emphasis on currently because it’ll definitely be him soon. 

Eat healthier food, if you want to devour me, shitty emperor!

“Nevermind,” Isagi quickly disregards, shaking his head before adding, “I’m still keeping these by the way.”

Kaiser hums. “So Yoichi is the masochistic type of pervert?”

Isagi balls his fists and almost decides to strike him right there. “For fucks sake, keep your mouth shut, naked emperor!”

“Only if you promise to do it for me,” Kaiser sneers with a Cheshire cat-like grin. It’s almost like he’s provoking him. Scratch that, he definitely is. 

He’s playing him for a fool.

Iaagi doesn’t know what came over him at that moment, how he abandoned one plan to write up and follow through on a newer and riskier version. “I’m going to kiss you.” 

Kaiser scoffs, challenging him with his signature shit-eating grin.

“I really am going to kiss you!” Isagi warns. Kaiser can’t blame Isagi this time. He’s already had enough time to strategize his moves, so whether he’ll still be smirking in triumph or fall to his feet, the burden of the result will inescapably be placed on him.

“Do it,” ends up being Kaiser’s move while Isagi’s ends up being a rough pull on his collar that inevitably causes their lips to crash.

Between the lingering flavor of burnt chocolate and the honeyed taste on Kaiser’s lips, Isagi wonders which plan really ended up bringing his success.