Chapter Text
Two weeks ago, Isagi still had everything.
A great band, an upcoming show, and a small but growing fanbase.
It hadn’t been anything crazy.
His band wasn’t well known online or outside the outskirts of their town, but they were finally pulling in the numbers to get gigs. Unless some other band was playing, people would actually show up to see Isagi sing.
It was incredible.
The attention at school had been at an all-time high. People would come up to him. They would ask about future shows, compliment his lyric work, or seek him for advice for starting up their own bands.
It felt good to be viewed as a star, as talented. It was a stark difference from the way people used to treat him when "Ego" was first starting up.
All the hard work felt worth it.
Isagi saw this success as a glimpse into a future where he accomplished his dream of becoming a major rock artist. In it, his name and his band were cemented into history, while his voice was praised everywhere around the world.
Everyone had always told him his dream was impossible, but Isagi believed in his future more than anything else.
Their upcoming show had been set to be their biggest yet, and Isagi had been buzzing with adrenaline, eager to sing in front of a crowd again.
Then Sae left.
And everything tumbled along with him.
“Ego” was a band that consisted of Isagi himself; his two neighbours, Rin and Sae Itoshi; as well as his best friend, Meguru Bachira. It had existed for years, starting way before they had even gotten into high school. They were just dumb kids fooling around in Isagi’s garage back then.
Isagi on the mic, Sae on guitar, Rin on bass, and Meguru on the drums. That was how it always was, and that was how Isagi, foolishly, hoped it would stay.
Looking back, Isagi should’ve noticed how Sae purposefully distanced himself. He skipped practices and came home late, excusing himself by saying that he was “busy because of schoolwork.”
Maybe if they hadn’t brushed Sae’s behaviour under the rug, he would still be with them. Home, instead of in New York City, where the light of fame shone on him. He had only performed once so far, and already every post Isagi saw praised him and called him a prodigy.
Isagi couldn't help blaming himself for the way he had ignored Sae’s intelligence. He wasn’t sure how Sae had formed connections with larger artists so quickly, but he should’ve known that Sae’s brain would get him that far.
From the beginning, Isagi knew that the event was a possibility.
Years ago, “Ego” had made a promise together.
They promised that if one of them did make it big alone, the others wouldn’t hold it against them. Fame was the goal they strived for, the reason they had come up with “Ego” as the name to represent their band.
It would’ve been fine if Sae had moved on with his career by parting with the band respectfully. Instead, he had randomly announced he was heading to the airport and cut off contact as soon as he landed.
He probably thought he hadn’t done anything wrong.
Sae always took things literally. Isagi knew he likely didn’t bother thinking about how the way he left could affect the band: their mentalities, their feelings.
And more importantly, Rin.
In the past two weeks, the younger boy had gotten quieter and angrier.
Not that Isagi could blame him.
His brother had abandoned him to pursue his dreams, leaving him to catch up. Isagi knew that the two of them had engaged in a heated fight before it had happened, but he didn’t know the details.
Rin refused to speak about it when Meguru and Isagi tried to get him to open up. Isagi felt bad leaving his friend alone when he was hurting, but he wasn’t sure how to help.
The mood in their practices shifted drastically because of it.
Instead of having fun or playing video games, they ended practices in a sour mood. Rin rushed to get home, Meguru awkwardly followed, all while Isagi stayed in the garage, trying to come up with lyrics that sounded even remotely right on his tongue.
Worst of all was that Isagi could understand Sae.
Who would want to play for an unknown band full of newbies when you could play for a real crowd?
Sae was to be acknowledged, earn money, and be remembered. He’d have fans ask for his autograph while gazing at him with pure admiration.
Meanwhile, all Isagi could do was watch him.
Isagi couldn’t help it.
He was angry, jealous, and bitter. He didn’t care that Sae left to fulfill his dreams without them.
It was simple; he was envious because it wasn’t him.
In hindsight, it should have been.
Isagi was the vocalist, the one who should have possessed the full attention of the audience. Those weeks, even months, where he thought he finally had people’s attention on him were a lie. He had been upstaged by his guitarist in every performance, and he had never even noticed.
It was so pathetic.
Isagi wanted to believe it was all luck, that Sae had only been chosen because the band "Re Al" desperately needed a new guitarist after their last one quit. But he knew that wasn’t the full picture.
Sae had a talent the rest of them didn’t.
The fact fucking killed him, more than he wanted to admit.
But he couldn’t do anything about it.
He couldn’t even fucking write about what he was feeling. Who would want to listen to a song about a bitter bandmate crying that he couldn’t find success?
Isagi wasn’t the type to write about his life in his songs, but it was like everything he could come up with recently had been laced with the same undertone of jealousy.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t allow himself to wallow in self-pity for long.
Two weeks after Sae Itoshi left, “Ego” slowly got back onto their feet. None of them could stand lying around moping while Sae reached what they all wanted.
The first thing they did was start searching for a replacement.
Rin had been stubborn about the idea, saying he could play guitar instead. He had learned a bit from Sae, and bass wasn’t all that different, but they quickly shut the idea down.
Rin was a phenomenal bassist whom they couldn’t lose. There was not nearly enough time for Rin to perfect his skills on a whole other instrument.
The problem was that they had absolutely nobody to fill Sae’s spot.
None of them knew any guitarists that would be interested. Hiori, Rin’s friend, was the only one the three of them could think of, but he declined when they asked, saying his parents wouldn’t allow him to skip his after-school classes.
Isagi was sceptical about speaking about it online and giving out his address so people could come audition, so they had to resort to their school.
Their next week was spent putting up posters that advertised their band and told guitarists to come to Isagi’s place on Friday for a chance at the spot.
At this point everybody knew about them, their popularity growing for better or for worse after Sae had left, so there was no doubt that someone could fill the spot.
But after a long day of watching auditions on Friday, the three boys crashed in Isagi’s garage, exhausted. They drank soda on the floor in silence, too bummed to make conversation.
Isagi sipped on his Pepsi while he thought.
It was late.
They were having no luck. They’d had different auditions, some alright, some terrible, but there was no one that could quite fit the hole that Sae had left.
They were at the point that if no one else showed up, they’d have to choose the best out of what they had heard. Isagi could tell that weighed heavily on both Rin and Meguru.
Shit.
It wasn’t like Isagi wanted to choose some mediocre player, but they had no choice.
He bit his lip. Going from a talent like Sae to Igaguri was not going to be well received by their fans.
Isagi shut his eyes, his head pounding.
The sound of the doorbell yanked him out of his thoughts.
Isagi sighed, standing up to open the door. He threw a glance at his friends and silently prayed that whoever was behind that door was competent on guitar.
Isagi didn’t know who he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t Michael Kaiser.
To say that the boy in front of him had a reputation would be an understatement. Kaiser, as everyone called him, was the guitarist of “Bastard,” the band that had swept everyone off their feet when they first performed a year ago.
Despite not being the lead singer, Kaiser was the main attraction of the band, in the literal sense of the word. Isagi heard about him non-stop from almost every single girl in school. Of course, he had heard about him non-stop from the guys too, though for a very different reason.
He had messy blonde hair with dyed blue tips and two rat tails, with a tattoo of a rose on his neck that went down his arm. His striking red eyeliner, blue eyes, and signature smirk turned heads wherever he went.
Though he had no piercings unlike Isagi, who had one near his eyebrow, he looked like a total rockstar.
It was badass; Isagi couldn’t deny it. It made him a bit jealous.
Each time they had met, Kaiser smirked at him like he knew it. He knew he was the best and was glad Isagi, and everyone else, knew it as well.
Yeah, he was fucking insufferable.
Everyone was either head over heels for him or despised him with every fiber in their bodies. Isagi belonged to the latter, especially since Kaiser’s band was the reason that “Ego” couldn’t pull in as many numbers on certain nights.
But though he wished he could say that his look and persona were the only appealing things about Kaiser, that just wasn’t true. Kaiser’s music, the way he played, all of it was just…
Incredible.
He possessed a talent so pure it was undeniable. Genius.
Kaiser hypnotized Isagi the first and only time he’d been to a “Bastard” show.
Everything from the music to the atmosphere, was built up by his strumming. Kaiser wrapped songs around his finger, dictating the way each was played by ensuring all attention was on him. He was like Sae.
It was at that concert that Isagi had figured it out.
Michael Kaiser was destined to be a superstar.
He was the same as Sae Itoshi, a prodigy that would make it big no matter what.
For that reason, as soon as he saw Kaiser at his front door, he knew something was up. In no universe would joining “Ego” be a priority for someone like him.
From what Isagi could tell, Kaiser was close with his bandmates: the magenta-haired vocalist, Alexis Ness; the long red-haired bassist, Hyoma Chigiri; and the drummer with golden teeth, Don Lorenzo.
He had heard no news of a breakup for “Bastard,” so Kaiser had no reason to be there at all.
So what did he want?
Isagi had an answer in mind.
Kaiser was here to be a complete and total asshole.
Truthfully speaking, it took every single muscle fiber in Isagi’s body to not shut the door right in front of the blonde boy’s face. Judging by the sly smile on Kaiser’s lips, he wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it.
He cut to the chase.
“What the fuck do you want?”
The aggression seemed to amuse Kaiser. He smirked, his fingers slipping through the handle of the guitar case that hung on his back. “How hostile. You’re the one who put up posters searching for a new guitarist.”
“Am I meant to believe you want to join?” Isagi asked, scoffing. “If you’re seriously here just to be an ass, then it’s a new low even for you.”
“Good thing I’m not trying to be an ass.” Kaiser replied, sighing loudly, running a hand through his hair as if the conversation were annoying to him. His eyes flicked down to him. “Do you really want to have this conversation outside?”
Isagi glared at him.
Kaiser smiled, clearly not taking him seriously.
His demeanor made it clear that he knew he had the power in their conversation. He knew nobody who had come to Isagi’s house thus far was even close to as good as he was on the guitar. And he was using it.
Isagi weighed his options.
He could kick Kaiser out right now, forget about the whole interaction, and spend weeks or even longer searching for another guitarist that wouldn’t have the skill level of the boy in front of him.
Or he could prey on the slim possibility that Kaiser was actually telling the truth. Prey on the small possibility of a "Bastard" break up and hope that Kaiser was here without an ulterior motive.
And Kaiser, as if reading his mind, smiled knowingly as he watched Isagi’s eyes dart back and forth.
Needless to say, it was a deep blow to Isagi’s pride to let the other boy in.
Wordlessly, Isagi watched as Kaiser took off his shoes and placed them surprisingly neatly next to his own. He motioned Kaiser to follow him to his garage.
Regardless of Kaiser’s motivations, having Meguru and Rin to back him up if things got messy sounded like a good idea.
Kaiser leered over him as Isagi came into the garage, so he was immediately met with two unbelieving and angry stares.
Once Meguru’s eyes landed on the figure behind him, his mouth opened slightly, and his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
“Yoichi…” He murmured slowly, his gaze bouncing from Kaiser to him a thousand times per second. Isagi could see the gears turning in his head as the yellow-highlighted boy scrambled to grab his phone.
“Megur—” Isagi started before he was interrupted by Rin, who had straightened up and looked absolutely murderous at the sight of Kaiser.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Rin hissed out. His eyes snapped to Isagi, unfiltered rage blurring with confusion.
Isagi got the message loud and clear. Rin would rather die than have someone like Kaiser take over Sae’s place.
But right now, Isagi had to put the state of their band above Rin’s emotions. He silently hoped the other boy would forgive him.
“Calm down,” Isagi said, raising a hand to try to de-escalate the situation. “We need a guitarist and Kaiser—"
“Yoichi, he’s just messing with us!” Bachira called out from the couch. “Don’t listen—"
“I know,” Isagi cut him off, “but he said he’d explain and—"
“Isagi. It’s not fucking happening. I’m not playing with him.” Rin snarled, standing up from the couch. “Get out, now."
Isagi’s mouth opened wordlessly as his mind scrambled to pick up the pieces. Something was definitely up, something he wasn’t aware of.
“Oh wow,” Kaiser murmured as Rin stalked up closer to him. “Sae was right; you really do have a temper.”
Oh.
That’s what this was about. Kaiser knew Sae, and they likely spoke while he was getting distant. There was no way Rin was ready to deal with that yet.
Shit.
Just by saying those words, Kaiser managed to get Rin even angrier. The boy pressed up into Kaiser’s space, trying to back him out. The blonde didn’t budge, and instead his eyes snapped to Isagi, staying on him. “Is he always like this, Yoichi?”
Isagi’s eyes slightly widened as his first name slipped off Kaiser’s tongue so naturally. He hadn’t heard it from a new person in years. Most people at school knew him by “Isagi” because teachers insisted that his first name was too difficult to pronounce, and Isagi didn’t bother arguing with them.
The only people who called him that were his bandmates and his fucking parents. It was an unusually close thing for him to say, and Isagi couldn’t help the faint blush that rose to his cheeks from embarrassment.
“He’s not your friend.” Rin gritted out harshly. “Don’t call him that.”
“He’d tell me if he didn’t like it.”
“Bastard broke up!?” Meguru cut in from behind before a fight could break out.
Isagi’s head whipped over to his best friend who was staring at his phone with his jaw open. Rin looked dumbstruck as he stepped back from Kaiser, that possibility clearly not having crossed his mind.
“Way to kill the mood, highlights.” Kaiser huffed, rolling his eyes and brushing a hand through his hair. “But yes, we did.”
“And why is that?” Isagi asked sternly, keeping his gaze locked on Kaiser as if trying to look into his soul. He just couldn’t figure it out.
The possibility of a band breakup for Bastard had been on his mind ever since Kaiser showed his ugly face, but it just made no sense.
There was no reason for Bastard to split up when they were doing this well. Sure, they weren’t superstars yet, not even close, but anybody with eyes could tell that they had potential. It was definitely because of an argument inside the band, but they had always seemed close. Isagi had seen them out together a couple of times, partying and having fun.
Throwing out an entire band for an argument was a bit overkill. What could have possibly happened?
"What, did they get sick of you?” Isagi found himself pressing. The thought was absurd, but not out of the question. If Sae had still been in their band and that had happened to Bastard, Isagi was sure the four of them would go out just to laugh at the news.
But now, it was a genuine opportunity for "Ego."
“Hm.” Kaiser let out a startled sound at the question, clearly not expecting Isagi to pry so early. He glanced down at Isagi, his gaze slightly colder. “I guess you could say that.”
He snorted. “I mean, they did kick me out.”
What.
For a moment, it was silent.
Then Isagi laughed, raw and honest.
Meguru opened his mouth, then closed it. Rin blinked.
Aside from the sound of him laughing, the garage was silent. Kaiser looked at him like he had grown a second head, a vein bulging in his forehead as his face morphed into a grimace that only slightly resembled the smirk that had been on his face previously.
Finally, Isagi caught his breath. He really, really shouldn’t have just done that. If his relationship with Kaiser before was a one-sided hatred, it definitely wasn’t now.
He didn’t know the circumstances behind the breakup, or really anything about Kaiser at all, but wow, it was really hilarious.
He couldn’t help it.
What were the odds of Kaiser getting kicked out of his band right as they needed a guitarist?
What were the odds of Kaiser, one of the greatest guitarists Isagi had ever met, getting kicked out of his band in the first place?
It was just too perfect. Seriously, what the hell did Kaiser do for that to happen?
"Well, now he’s definitely not gonna join us, Yoichi.” Meguru murmured dejectedly as Isagi finally straightened up, coughing a little.
“Well,” Kaiser said, a smirk forming on his lips once more. It was somehow brighter than the one he wore before Isagi had laughed in his face. “Your lead singer might be an asshole, but I don’t think I have much of a choice but to stick with him.”
“It’s the same for you, isn’t it?” His blue eyes found Isagi’s again. “You need me, Yoichi.”
Isagi kept his stare cold, refusing to react to his provocation. Kaiser was right; they both needed each other right now, almost desperately. But that didn’t mean he’d admit it as pathetically as Kaiser had.
“Whatever you say, Blue Rose.” He replied, remembering the nickname that people had bestowed on Kaiser for his tattoo. “If you screw up our performances, we’ll kick you out as well.”
Meguru snorted, shaking his head as if he still couldn’t believe what was happening.
“Wait a fucking minute,” Rin interrupted. “That’s it? You’re just gonna let him be in our band, like that?”
“It doesn’t matter what the personal relationship between us is,” Isagi said. “He can play, and he will. We aren’t suddenly friends.”
“How rude, Yoichi,” Kaiser murmured, his lip curling. “I’m so hurt.”
Meguru glared at him, and Rin looked like he was about to hurl.
Isagi ignored him. “It’s not like—he's not Sae.”
Rin flinched slightly. He looked from Isagi to Meguru to Kaiser before lowering his gaze. His brain seemed to have caught on to Isagi’s plan, and though he didn’t seem to like it, it didn’t look like he had much of a choice. “Fine.”
A beat passed.
“Don’t I need to audition?” Kaiser asked dryly, already knowing the answer.
“Fuck off, asshole.” Isagi said, rolling his eyes. “You’re in; now get out of here. We practice Tuesdays and Thursdays. Be there.”
And it was settled.
Kaiser would be the one to join “Ego” and fill the hole left by Sae.
Such a grand decision had been made in the span of less than thirty minutes.
None of them were happy about it, but it was what needed to be done so that the band could stay afloat. Isagi still felt a little bad about forcing that on Rin, but he knew that the boy could understand his thought process.
Kaiser was a great player.
Having him in the band, especially after the Bastard breakup, would bring an immeasurable amount of new popularity. It would be like merging fan bases together. Even if Kaiser were to leave the band later on, they would likely keep most new fans they gained through him joining.
The entire thing would be strictly professional. No friendship, no closeness. Just through that one interaction, the group had made it abundantly clear that they didn’t care about forming any sort of relationship with Kaiser.
They would appear like friends on stage and be assholes to each other in private. Not like that was a new thing for bands.
Kaiser was their key to success for now, their method of securing the popularity they gained off of Sae leaving. If anything went south, they’d kick Kaiser out of the band and laugh as he searched god knows where for a new one.
That was right; they were the ones with power in that sense.
All Isagi had to focus on was performing in a way that ensured he wouldn’t get upstaged by their new member.
Easy.