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You know, there are times when giving your all means nothing. You do all you possibly can, yet it falls short.
Every. Single. Time.
You can try to change the past. It does not matter.
You can try to change the future. Nothing is set in stone, yet the path is paved in loose gravel.
You can try to change the present. Why change the moments gifted to you for free?
You can try to change.
Yet…
Can you truly change?
Juleka scoots through the crowd as fast as possible. It was a mistake to come to a concert so soon after everything.
Memories blur her vision as she attempts to weave her way through. The miraculous fractured her life, leaving her as one shattered half of two.
She makes her way out into the alleyway of the venue. The dank air snags her breath whilst also refreshing it. She listens for the starting band’s final song. Her heart catches its metronome.
Juleka sits herself down, slowly pressing her back against the cold stone. Her head falls into her hands, pushing her bang away.
“I wish you were here brother.”
A hand falls upon Juleka’s shoulder, jumping her. The breath hitches, throwing off her tempo.
“Sorry to jump you. I saw you run through the crowd. Are you alright? I heard you say ‘brother’. I too miss my sibling, though at times I wonder why given her record.”
Juleka looks up to meet the green eyes of a brilliantly tall woman, who cannot be much older than she is. The woman’s shining ginger locks capture Juleka’s attention.
“Sorry. I was thinking of the past. My brother and I used to come to concerts all the time. It was our thing.”
“Oh, that’s sweet! I’m sorry he cannot be here with you tonight. Is there anything I can do? My friends and I were here to perform but our bassist quit on us last minute so now I have all the free time. Perhaps you would like to watch some with us?”
“Bassist?”
Juleka perks up at the mention. It had been since that day, the one she last saw her friends and loved ones, that she last picked up her axe. She aches to give it the attention it deserves but has not been able to find the strength to play again.
The ginger tilts her head slightly. A smile pops on her face as she enthusiastically answers Juleka’s questioning.
“Yes, they were temporary. Roy and Jay have been struggling to find us a solid bassist. All the ones who have played with us only do so for the money. It is sad to see those who do not care for music as do Jason and Roy. They are who got me to love this world and it’s wonders of expression. They are my family.”
Juleka reaches up to her face, wipes at the tear she could tell was falling. The woman starts slightly freaking out at the reaction, picking her hands up to reach toward Juleka. She does not touch though.
Juleka shines the woman a smile to show she’s alright. With a strong breath, Juleka nods to the woman.
Juleka knows exactly what she is talking about. Music is the way Juleka could speak without having to say words. The notes brought across every emotion with swift and precise timing. It connected her to the family she was born into as well as the family that chose her.
However, once her well-spoken was taken, she found her voice. Juleka never had lost her voice. There was no reason for her to use it before, so she chose not to use it. Now, she must. Music can no longer be the only way she speaks.
“Where was your band in the line up?”
The woman raises an eyebrow at Juleka. She knew it was a sudden question, yet something within her made her ask.
“We were the closer. This is our normal venue. Why do you ask friend?”
‘Friend?’ Juleka stops herself from visibly reacting. It has been years since anyone new had called her that.
“Say that a bassist was to offer to play, would you still be able to do the gig?”
“I believe so. Jason was just going to turn it into a stand-up night and force his brother to perform on stage. Do you happen to know one?”
“Know one? She is one!”
Juleka turns to see Adrien running up to her. He offers her his hand, which she accepts, helping her to stand. He does the same with the unnamed woman.
Adrien goes from excited tone to concern. He eyes the tear smudge before offering Juleka a hug. She counters with a simple smile, answering Adrien.
“Sorry that it took me so long to be here, Juleka. I will make it up to you. How about we go try out one of the local libraries here? I will buy you all the books you want.”
“Adrien, you cannot buy books at a Library.”
The blonde facepalms. His face reddens.
“I knew that. I was just testing you. Oh, I am being rude. I’m Adrien Allen. You must be Starfire. It’s nice to meet you! My cousin has mentioned you before while talking about his crush.”
“Oh! You’re the cousin. You must come visit the tower some time. It is nice to meet you too.”
Starfire and Adrien shake hands. Juleka smiles as her new friend and last piece of family connect. Starfire finishes with Adrien then turns to Juleka.
“I never did introduce to you either. I’m Princess Koriand'r of Tamaran, and the singer of the Outlaws. I hope we can turn your night around.”
“It’s alright. I’m Juleka Constantine. My dad was the lead singer and guitarist of the band Mucus Membrane.”
“No way!” Starfire lights up. “Roy showed me tapes he got of that band. Are you a musician?”
Adrien smirks as Juleka nods. Starfire gets overcome with joy. She lunges forward, wrapping Juleka in hug, spinning her around.
Juleka sinks into the hug. Starfire had a warmth that Juleka needed desperately. A spark had appeared to light her fire again. This was exactly what she needed.
“Adrien, can you grab my axe? It is time to cut through my pain and grow.”
Juleka’s strength finds her once more. She raises her fist up, panjas bracelet shines in the moonlight. A toothy grin climbs on her face.
Adrien gets back from grabbing Juleka’s bass in twenty seconds. He also has another case in his right hand. Juleka snickers.
“Oh! This is amazing. Let’s get inside. Jason and Roy are going to be so happy to see we are planning after all. Thank you both so much.”
“No, thank you Koriand’r. I have been lost in the silence too long trying to find the right notes. The best way to break through is to improv.”
Juleka grabs her bass from Adrien. The two mirror smiles as they run through the door with Starfire. They both needed some bright in the darkness that has clouded them.
What better way to break that than a spotlight?
The two bands left before they enter the stage is just enough time to mentally prepare. Starfire hands Juleka a copy of all the basslines that had been written. Adrien peaks his head over her shoulder.
It takes only a second for the duo to burst out laughing. The lines on the paper had to have been written by someone who has never seen bass parts as it is solely the root notes of every chord.
“What’s so funny?”
A new voice catches the duos attention. The ginger with crossed arms spots what is in Juleka’s hand. He gains a raised eyebrow.
Before the man can try to critique them, Starfire comes back to get them. It was their time to take the stage. She was ready to show that the past will not keep her held captive.
“Bullocks, I cut it close. Jules!”
Juleka looks up from grabbing her bass. The biggest smile takes up her face. She stands up quickly, running to the owner of the voice. They hug.
Adrien sends a smug look to the ginger with a shocked jaw drop. Starfire cheers happily. This was the best surprise.
“I was wondering why Adrien had your guitar case.”
“It certainly ain’t for the lad. He knows his spot behind the keys. I was not about to miss my daughter’s debut. I had to pull out the old leather.”
“Your father is John Constantine?!”
The ginger breaks. A black-haired man that came to fetch them also sends a questioning look. They were thoroughly surprised.
“Well Star, you said you would find a better replacement for the jerk that left us hanging. Remind me to never doubt you again. I’m Jason, by the way. Local rhythm guitarist.”
Adrien and Juleka make eye contact and start laughing again. They let John in on it by passing him the bass music. He lets Jason have it.
“Who wrote the bass part? It is rubbish.”
He rips it up. Jason’s eyes widen. The ginger whispers something into his ear.
“Shut the fuck up, Roy. Get behind that set right now before you have no sticks.”
Roy rolls his eyes as he heads on stage to properly set up his drums. Adrien and Starfire join him to pull the piano out. Jason lingers to get his own guitar out.
Juleka gets to her bass once more. Her reflection shines back at her. It was calling to her. Give into the strength she has been holding back.
‘Let loose and soar’ Luka’s words echo in her head.
“Roarr, stripes on”
Juleka lets her confidence shine as she places the bass on her shoulder. Her transformation was simply the icing on the cake for her leap of faith into the unknown.
John smirks at Jason who is left starstruck. He places his fist out to Juleka. She nods as she finishes the fist bump.
“There’s a first time for everything. Luka is with us. I’m proud of Jules. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
Juleka and John take center stage. Juleka lets the grief flow through their fingers, connecting with her brother once more. She finally found family again.
Starfire locks eyes with Juleka. They share the moment for so long that it turns into a duet of vocals and bass. Perfect harmony.
‘Well, maybe you can give it your all and change.’
Juleka lets the thought take over. Experiencing love again is the refreshment she has desperately needed. She will never stop playing again.