Chapter Text
No one is above making simple mistakes. Not even Sonic the Hedgehog himself.
Making a wrong call or two is commonplace with his line of “work”. He’s not clairvoyant on the battlefield, he can’t predict every little thing that goes wrong. Trial and error, they call it. Misjudgment, miscalculation, misstep – all are natural.
Sonic often missteps in the lines of companionship, to varying degrees of fault.
Sure, he’s sometimes lost track of time and missed meetings with his friends. Sure, he’s “accidentally” been late to meeting up with Amy (though he swears a few of those times had not been his fault!"), but all of those were circumstantial at best.
There isn’t a blunder in the world that would irreparably tarnish one of his relationships.
Well, until now that is.
“Sorry for stopping by on such short notice, just ah, wanted to chat for a bit,” he chuckled nervously after the door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Rouge.
Curlers were still nestled in her hair, a steaming mug of what looked like a fresh brew of coffee clasped in her hands. The bat did not look pleased to say the least, but she gazed upon him with affection and humor.
Rouge always did have a soft spot for him, for reasons beyond him. He knows he can get under people's skin, but for a tough select few, his persistent charm almost seemed to click perfectly, Rouge included. They understood each other, sharing a mutual respect.
“What could you possibly need my help with?” she purred, the tips of her fangs visible over her plump lips.
There was a very specific reason for his visit with Rouge today. One he couldn’t quite articulate without his words stammering and his mind becoming fuzzed and blurred.
“Sex,” was his blunt reply, before he could think to communicate that perhaps a little bit better.
The bat’s brows raised as she looked him up and down. “Bit early to ask that, don’t you think? I haven’t even had my coffee.”
It was then that Sonic decided meeting the business end of a rifle was more preferable than being in his current situation. Eyes, widening and face becoming increasingly hot, he rushed to remedy his blunder. “That came out wrong!” he shouted, hands flying out instinctively. “Listen, I just need some advice and I feel like you’re the one who would help me the most.”
“Just come inside, Blue,” Rouge rolled her eyes, a chuckle ripe on her sultry words. “Don’t worry, Shadow’s out doing who knows what but he won’t be back until tonight. Omega took a few heavy hits last mission so he’s at H.Q. for scheduled maintenance, it’s just me here now.”
Sheepishly, Sonic followed her inside the apartment, plopping down heavily onto a couch he could only describe as having seen better days. Blankets and pillows were molded to the forms of those who often used them, and other signs of a well-lived space filled his vision. Abandoned mugs, a stray pen, even a decorative plant with a smudged vase.
Rouge gingerly sat down next to him, placing her lilac covered mug on one of the various coasters lain about the center console table. She yawned anew, but otherwise turned to humor him.
“Alright, tell me what sex help you need,” she snorted, but diverted her full attention to him.
But where to begin was difficult to decide.
“You’re not exactly subtle on your…experiences,” he began slowly, once again attempting to justify his reasons for visiting her.
“You calling me a harlot?” she deadpanned, reveling in the exasperation in his face that followed. It quickly turned into a cheeky smirk. “And to think I welcome you in.”
“Of course not! You’re just the most sexual being I know and…well, I have a sex problem.”
By the way her ears flicked, it seemed to pique her interest, and she urged him to continue.
“I…like someone,” he admitted after a brief pause. Romance and relationships were always a topic of contention for him. His avoidant behaviors regarding the topic were not just for show, it was hard. “It’s recently given me the confidence to think of sex again after ignoring that part of me for so long but it just feels…wrong.”
Rouge took a long sip from her mug, contemplating his words with careful precision.
“Give me specifics,” she muttered after a moment. “What exactly feels wrong?”
“I feel wrong. I try to…touch myself and I just can’t. I lose interest, it gets hard to…continue. It feels the opposite of pleasure, it feels like…like a chore,” he announced with a loud huff, glancing away as if there was something horribly wrong about him. Like she would judge him for being defective. How can anyone fail at goddamn masturbation? Shouldn’t it be innate?
To his surprise, she was nothing but understanding, placing a gentle but unwavering hand upon his shoulder. Rubbing out the tension that seemed to be bubbling beneath the surface in a way that soothed him, her grasp on his frame grounded him.
“Perhaps you’re not going about it in a way that is beneficial to who you are,” she whispered, deep in thought. “I was never one for following societal norms.”
“I didn’t think there was a right and wrong way. Isn’t that Sex 101.”
“For most people, there isn’t,” she trailed off, perking up as though suddenly stricken by inspiration. “But you’re not most people, are you?”
She phrased it rhetorically, but Sonic had the feeling he understood her hidden meaning.
Despite being the fastest thing alive, even he could hardly process how quickly she whipped out her phone, typing and scrolling and typing and scrolling up until she found what she was looking for and practically shoved it into his face.
“Um,” he started, staring at the screen with a look of uneasy bewilderment. Truly he was speechless. There were very few words to describe his current range of emotion.
“It’s one of my favorites. Hugs in all the right places, doesn’t snag on fur at all! Easy to clean and set up and good Gaia does it make me feel powerful,” Rouge praised, nudging him for good measure.
“I…I don’t know about it. What if it doesn’t work? Or what if I can’t…sell it,” Sonic dismayed, but couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the contents of her phone. He found it difficult to look away, as though his heart had gained a sudden fixation.
Consideration did cross his mind though it was still clouded by doubt.
“Oh, hogwash! It’s not about selling it! It’s about feeling like you! It’s about confidence! Feeling! You can rock it, I just know it,” she winked, scooting closer to “In fact, I think you’d love it!”
He still must have looked hesitant, because she toned down the theatrics, her wings tucking themselves tamely behind her back as she looked at him and sighed.
“Just give it a try, Blue,” she said more sincerely, “If you don’t like it, you can always return it. But as your beloved friend and apparently resident sex expert, I implore you to take this chance.”
With a loud huff and a hopeful heart, Sonic agreed to give her suggestion a shot.
And so this was the day Sonic the Hedgehog purchased a strap-on.
Of course, he couldn’t just walk into a store. There would be immediate questions and chatter that he did not want spreading and reaching his friends and allies’ ears. Think of the scandal!
Because why would Sonic the Hedgehog be spotted walking into a sex shop?
No, he couldn’t risk it. His reputation would be forever stunted, he knew the media too well. Instead, he decided to dip his toes into Rouge’s suggestion by ordering through an online delivery service. The wait would kill him but his privacy concerns would at least be alleviated. Giving a fake name for the delivery was all too easy, and with this website’s promise of subtlety in its packaging, he decided to go for it and placed the order, immediately shutting off his phone and throwing it onto his bed.
He was mortified. He was excited.
He watched the delivery notifications like a hawk, noting every shipping update, every new facility it arrived into. The last thing he wanted was Tails happening across it, he couldn’t ruin his baby brother’s innocence like that.
The day it was set to arrive had him alight with nerves. He was so curious, nearly burning a hole in the ground with how much he paced back and forth. When he received the ‘Out for Delivery’ notification, his heart lurched with excitement, checking out the window every twenty minutes as if it would appear on his front step instantaneously. Sonic would occupy his mind for half a second, only for his attention to swing violently towards the view of street like a magnet.
After tapping his foot at nearly the speed of sound, his ears flicked at the cacophony of an arriving delivery van. Holding in an unholy squeal, he waited until the vehicle thundered away before he made his approach. Quicker than a blink, he swung open the door and snatched the package like it was money owed to him.
The discrete little box was nothing much – standard cardboard and tape holding it together. But the promise of what was inside took him by utter storm, and he raced up the stairs to immediately try it out.
Figuring out how to put on the harness was a small endeavor that involved carefully reading the instructions and looking at the model on the box at least three times. Needing to adjust it several times before he managed to slip in over his groin, he tightened the straps as prompted, heart rate climbing rapidly.
The added attachment was swiftly locked into place, and seeing as everything fit nice and snug, he looked down and-
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Like a cock of his own. Rouge wasn’t kidding. Sonic audibly laughed, swinging his hips and watching as the dark silicon followed suit. He gave an experimental thrust into the open air, witnessing it all like a man obsessed.
One glance in the mirror had his smile splitting his face. A rush of endorphins flooded his brain. This was right! This was what he’d been missing!
But the harness wasn’t the only item included in the box. This whole this was a celebratory reward for himself, so why not go the whole nine yards? In addition to his lovely new appendage fastened at the hip, Sonic bought a matching pair of gloves and leather collar. Adorning them both only heightened his ecstatic mood and he very quickly decided this had to have been the best purchase of life.
Practically drunk on the euphoria of such a moment, he haphazardly pulled out his phone and scrolled to his camera. He never thought he’d stood so low as to snap a few nudes, but if it made him feel this great? He’ll, he’s more than proud to fill his camera roll to the brim.
Sonic took great humor in posing, feeling more in tune with his body than he’s been in a long time. Remembering the promise he made to Rouge, he giddily swiped through the photos before picking out the one he thought turned out best. It was of him grasping his newly attached length, silky elbow length gloves and sultry collar on full display. He looked hot, he felt hot!
She’s gonna love it. He could almost picture it now. Her eager squeal, her supportive cheers. Biting his lip, he quickly sent it off without much thought, eager to go back to appreciating this newly awakened part of him and maybe snap a few self indulgent–
Sonic’s eyes snapped back to his phone.
His heart plummeted once he saw the message was delivered.
Because he didn’t send it to Rouge. Of course, his fingers slipped up, of course.
He sent it to Shadow.
And one teensy, little detail he omitted from her was that crush he mentioned? Yeah, that was occupied by none other than the unintended recipient of his risqué photo.
“Shit!” he screeched like a banshee, leather gloves immediately becoming drenched in sweat. It became increasingly difficult to even hold the phone in his slippery grasp, as he nearly dropped it several times attempting to figure out how to get out of this conundrum.
Okay, okay, Sonic, calm down. Maybe there’s a way to delete the picture before he sees it. Accidents happen all the time, right? Right! And even if Shadow were to see he deleted something, he could always just explain–
Read 6:45 PM.
“Oh FUCK!”