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The Problem With Being Human

Summary:

Wanderer's relationships have come far. So much so, in fact, that he finds himself with both a human mage and a dragon aching to spoil him in their bed.

If only he could sort out how he feels about it all.

Notes:

Happy 2026!! I've been working on some longer chapters since the start of this year, but decided to sit down and get this out of my system first :') This is a threesome I've been wanting to write for ages. I decided to play around with the usual Scaramona dynamic and have them as more of a bisexual power couple with an open relationship in this one—mainly because they're too stubborn to admit their feelings to one another and settle down. The result is a little different to what I usually, but I think it suits this fic well <3

Despite the tags saying Mini Durin, the Durin in this fic is the human-ish Durin in the Nod-Krai arc. He reminds of Kabukimono a little <3 Needless to say, everyone is an adult in this fic, and shockingly, everyone consents. In fact, this whole fic came out WAY more wholesome then I intended xD I didn't even have to throw the dub-con tag on there this time

Enjoy! <3

Work Text:

Of all the sights Mona had expected to see coming to Nod-Krai, her boyfriend lying on his back, teeth gritted and cheeks flushed as a dragon rocked his hips into his arse, was somewhere near the bottom of the list.

Not that she was complaining about it in any capacity.

She pushed herself onto her knees and started to crawl over to the pair of them from her corner of the bed. The springs of the aged mattress creaked beneath her. Through the walls, she could faintly hear the sound of music, the clinking of glasses and chatter of The Flagship's clientele. How strange it was to think that such normal, innocent scenes could be taking place just a locked door away from such debauchery.

Mona slipped her hands beneath Wanderer's head, took a moment to run her fingers through the thick, glossy locks of his hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. His skin felt unusually warm against her lips.

How are you feeling?” she whispered.

I'm— Ah!” Wanderer sucked in a breath between his teeth as Durin slammed back into him. “I'm f-fine.”

He'd been like this more or less since the moment Durin had entered him, unable to formulate a sentence without his words dissolving into moans. It was rare to see him so flustered, considering how often he took the dominant role with Mona in bed. How many times had she felt the bite of the hands currently fisting in the sheets around her neck? How many filthy words had the lips now gasping for air whispered in her ears? Mona was no sadist, but witnessing the tables being turned like this filled her with smug intrigue as much as it did arousal.

K-Kasacchi,” Durin stammered. “I d-don't want... to hurt you.”

I said I'm fine,” Wanderer snapped, though his voice sounded weaker than before, desperation laced between the venom of his words. Mona ran her eyes down his body, from his sheer black shirt still clinging to his chest to his cock, stiff and bouncing against his stomach with every thrust of Durin's hips. A little precum had dripped down its length. The sight alone was almost enough to make her throw her pride away and sink down on top of him, filling the aching space inside her.

But she wouldn't, not yet. Not while she was having so much fun observing. She trailed a hand from Wanderer's head down the side of his face, cupping his burning cheek with long, slim fingers, then ran her knuckle across his collarbone. He snatched at her wrist and glared up at her, rage in his eyes. “Are you going to keep gawking or actually—ngh—do something, mage?”

Mona smiled. “And what would you have me do?”

Wanderer paused as he thought up a response. Then, he reached out his other hand, wrapped his fingers in Mona's hair, and pulled her down. It felt strange to embrace him from upside down; to feel the mouth she'd grown so used to kissing move against hers in strange, new ways, his tongue flicking against her teeth and his nose brushing her chin. His fingers tightened in her hair. His body shuddered against her.

It was a deep, lustful moan that had the pair of them breaking apart at last. Mona raised her head to see Wanderer tilting his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. Lifting her gaze, she saw that Durin had fallen forward so that Wanderer was caged between his arms, his knees still planted firmly on the bed. The position forced Wanderer's legs further up onto his thighs, allowing him to grind more deeply inside him. Mona found her eyes drawn to the spot where they were joined, Wanderer's rim pink and slightly swollen as swallowed up Durin's ridged cock over and over.

Kasacchi,” he whined. “I... I think I'm almost there.”

Already?” Wanderer blurted out.

Mona could see where his shock came from. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes since Durin had entered him. But the dragon was far less experienced than the pair of them. That much was obvious in the wideness of his eyes as he stared down at Wanderer, the way he seemed determined to rut into him like a wild animal instead of pacing himself. As someone who knew what it felt like to have her own body reduced to little more than a sheath for Wanderer's cock, she couldn't help but lean into that sense of smugness again.

You look absolutely beautiful like this,” she said softly. “Wouldn't you agree, Durin?”

The dragon nodded vigorously, his lilac hair jumping with the movement. His wings, which had been neatly folded on his back up until this point, twitched with excitement.

Still r-running your mouth,” Wanderer huffed.

Would you prefer I put it to better use?” Mona asked.

If it shuts you up, then go wild.”

Mona clicked her tongue. Even in throes of being fucked like this, Wanderer still managed to insult her without effort. It was commendable, in a way. Years of sleeping together, exploring the limits of one another's bodies, and he still managed to surprise her.

Except Mona had never seen him brought to the edge quite like this, and as she watched him strain against Durin, she sensed that familiar heat bloom inside her once again. She hadn't touched herself yet, hadn't even taken off her underwear. Now, she felt her hand slip unconsciously down between her thighs. She shuddered as her fingertips brushed her clit through her soaking underwear, her cunt clenching down on nothing.

Perhaps it wasn't her mouth that needed to be put to better use, after all.

She slipped off her underwear and set it aside on the bed, then edged forward until her cunt was positioned over Wanderer's face. A part of her wanted to recoil with embarrassment at being naked in front of a third person like this. Thankfully, though, Durin's attention remained solely on Wanderer. Mona knew dragons could be possessive when it came to mating, and clearly, he saw Wanderer as the sole recipient of his adoration.

But that was okay with Mona. So long as he knew how to share.

She lowered herself onto Wanderer's face with a sigh. His mouth met her folds with practised, familiar ease, his hands coming to rest dutifully on her thighs. Even inverted like this, it was mere seconds until his tongue was lapping rhythmically against her most sensitive spots, drawing the first set of gasps from her lips.

It was, she supposed, a benefit to such a long-term situationship—even if that situationship did happen to be with a stubborn, ill-tempered ex-Harbinger who made her want to punch the wall in frustration as often as fall into bed with him. Wanderer knew her body inside and out. He knew which parts of her to tease and which parts to lick in earnest, how to move his lips in a way that had her arching her back against him and reaching behind to squeeze at his hair, if only to have something to anchor herself against while he ate her out.

Wanda,” she moaned. “N-not so fast.”

But Wanderer wasn't the only one moving so frantically. Durin's thrusts were becoming sloppy, his gasps rising in pitch until he was practically whining. Then, with one final, rough slam of his hips, he came. Hard. Mona watched through hazy eyes as Durin trembled, his slim shoulders rising and falling in time with his laboured breaths. Her gaze fell unconsciously to his cock, still buried deep inside Wanderer.

At first, she thought she was seeing things. A trick of the angle she was watching from. But the longer she stared, the more she realised the sight in front of her was real. The base of Durin's cock was swelling against Wanderer's arse, as if it were filling up with fluid. Durin slipped a hand beneath Wanderer's knee and pulled his leg up more firmly around his waist, allowing him to grind the bulging thing against his battered hole.

I'm s-sorry, Kasacchi,” he whined. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

Mona realised with a pang of horror what it was he intended to do.

Surely it can't fit, she thought to herself. The knot was almost twice the thickness of his regular cock now, bulging and throbbing against Wanderer's slick opening. It barely looked animal, let alone human—far too bulbous for Durin's petite body and far too big for Wanderer's. From between Mona's legs, Wanderer let out a groan. Mona had no idea if it was a protest or an invitation.

Not that it made a difference, because at that moment, Durin pushed his hips forward.

It went in far more easily than Mona had anticipated—a few moments of resistance, followed by a pop as Wanderer's rim stretched impossibly and swallowed the thing in one. Another groan escaped his chest, his body shuddering as it adjusted to the feeling of having not only Durin's entire cock and the cum he'd just pumped into him filling up his insides, but his knot as well.

And through it all, astoundingly, the rhythm of his tongue on Mona's cunt barely faltered.

Durin pushed back off the bed and sank onto his calves, allowing him to look down at his work. His expression hung somewhere between pride and concern, his skin flushed with exertion from his ears to his collar.

I don't know how long it'll stay like that,” he mumbled. “Sometimes it goes down quickly. Other times, well...”

He looked away before he could finish that sentence, and Mona swore his cheeks turned a shade redder with embarrassment. She let out a small, breathy laugh. “I suppose we'll just have to keep Kasacchi busy in the meantime, hm?”

She punctuated the sentence with a little roll of her hips, satisfied when it produced a deep moan from Wanderer's lips. He shifted his face to concentrate his efforts on her clit, and the heat of his mouth, the way he sucked and swirled his tongue around it, was almost enough to make Mona come undone on the spot.

But she couldn't, not yet. There was something she wanted to do first.

Now that Durin had sat up, Wanderer's cock appeared in full view again. What a waste that it had gone mostly neglected so far. Slowly so as not to throw Wanderer's rhythm off, she leant forward, wrapped her hand around Wanderer's cock, and gave it a firm squeeze. If the sheer hardness of it wasn't enough indication of how desperate for touch he was, then the grunt he let out and the way he canted his hips towards her left her in no doubts.

Mona placed a kiss against his leaking tip, then parted her lips and slid them around Wanderer's cock. His skin was warm and slick against her mouth, the salty taste of sweat and precum heavy on her tongue. His arms moved from her thighs to her waist, wrapping around her to better hold her in position as she started to rock her hips against him.

It was thrilling, in a strange kind of way. Mona had sucked Wanderer off more times than she could count, but never while she'd been riding his face at the same time. What the position lacked in physical grace, it more than made up for in sheer gratification. Feeling the slide of Wanderer's cock in her mouth while his pushed her closer and closer to her climax with every greedy lick; the press of his chest to her bare stomach while his arms squeezed her waist, latching her to him with a possessiveness that matched even Durin's.

And there, just inches from her face, was his hole, overstretched and twitching around Durin's knot. Wanderer always had a way of bringing out her filthy side in the best of times, but the proximity felt like a level of obscene she'd seldom reached before. She could only imagine how full he felt—how utterly overstimulated from every angle. The thought had her quickening her pace as she bobbed her head up and down on his cock, pushing him a little more deeply into her mouth each time until he was practically slipping into the back of her throat.

A set of fingers brushed the crown of her head. Mona's initial thought was that Wanderer had lifted a hand from her waist without her noticing. Then she heard the dragon in front of her hum, and realised that it was Durin's hand that now carded through her hair.

Keep going,” he whispered, soft encouragement in his voice. “I want him to feel good. I want him... to finish inside the person he loves, too.”

Mona stiffened. Something oddly painful stirred inside her chest.

Whatever it was, it faded quickly, her attention swept back as Durin started to guide the movements of her head up and down Wanderer's length. His pace was a little more frantic than the one Mona had set, but he relaxed when Mona pushed back against him. At the same time, the pressure at the base of her stomach grew to an almost unbearable level, spurred by the ever-constant attentions of Wanderer's mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut, ground her hips down on his face one final time.

And then, like Durin before her, she spilt over.

The feeling seemed to last forever. Heat pulsed through her in wave after wave, turning her skin molten where it touched Wanderer's and transforming her every limb into a trembling mess. When it finally faded, she lifted her head from Wanderer's cock to find her lips dripping with saliva.

Except it wasn't saliva. Sometime during her high, Wanderer had come inside her mouth, as well, just like Durin had wanted him to. She swallowed, wiped the rest from her mouth on the back of her hand.

Then, with a satisfied smile, she rolled off of Wanderer and lay on her back beside him. Her hand found his thigh, and she gave it a tender squeeze.

It was the most she could do right now. She was truly and utterly exhausted.

 

*

 

The Flagship was silent, having shut its doors for the night. Moonlight streamed in through the nearby window, illuminating a sleeping Durin, his legs pulled up into his chest and tail wrapped around his ankles beneath the covers. Mona watched him fondly for a while before turning to the figure on the nearby sofa.

He reminds me of you when he sleeps.”

Wanderer clicked his tongue. “Does he, now.”

Mm.” Mona stood up from her spot on the end of the bed, crossed the room, and took a seat next to Wanderer on the sofa. Like her, he'd dressed in a more stripped-back version of his usual outfit—shorts and black shirt and his sash tied loosely around his waist. The moonlight glanced off his dark hair and dyed his already pale skin almost white.

He looks like a doll, Mona remarked to herself, not for the first time. A beautiful one.

How can I put it?” she mused. “He seems... at peace, I suppose. Less troubled.”

I'm not troubled,” Wanderer scoffed.

Mona had known him long and intimately enough to spot a downright lie when she heard one. Even with Il Dottore gone and the borderlands of Nod-Krai safe for the time being, she could tell that the gears in his head continued to whirr intensely. They'd always been alike in that sense, she and him. It was part of the reason why she'd come out all the way to Nod-Krai to meet him on nothing but a hastily-written letter and a bad feeling.

But that was a conversation for another night. Right now, Mona was content to bask in the peace of the moment, sat between the little dragon fidgeting away in his sleep and the closest person she had to a partner reclined against the arm of the sofa next to her.

A partner...

Once again, that uncomfortable feeling throbbed in Mona's chest. She turned to Wanderer. “You heard him say it, too, didn't you?”

Wanderer didn't need to ask what she was talking about. He simply nodded. “I wouldn't worry about it. Durin may not be a child, but he still has a lot to learn about human relationships. It'll come with time, though. Your Chalk Prince friend assured me of that.”

The person Wanderer loves. That was what Durin had called her. Except Mona knew Wanderer possessed no such feelings towards her. It was something the pair of them had agreed upon when they'd been laying out the bounds of their relationship all those years ago, shortly after Wanderer had first appeared on the doorstep of her Mondstadt home after having abandoned his role as a Harbinger and established himself as a ward of the Dendro Archon. Their coupling would serve to satisfy a joint, physical need without the complications of feelings or exclusive rights to one another's bodies. It was the reason why Mona felt absolutely no jealousy when the pair of them invited a third person into their bed like Durin today, or when her astrology showed her the rare trysts Wanderer enjoyed with other partners, whether that was a student at the Akademiya or, indeed, their dear mutual friend the Traveller, who Mona herself had her own something of a past with.

Why, then, had Mona been finding it more and more difficult to imagine a romantic future with anyone but Wanderer? Why had it been almost two full years since she'd last slept with someone else without him present?

Most importantly of all, why did her heart ache so hard when she wondered if Wanderer's feelings towards her had changed, even just a little bit?

These were dangerous questions, she knew. If she allowed them to take root in her head, they would only stand to complicate her relationship with Wanderer. At worst, they would drive the pair of them apart.

And so, she would do what she always did.

She would keep it all bottled up. She would endure.

The feeling of fingers on her chin dragged Mona's mind from her reverie. She jumped to feel Wanderer stroking her face, his head tilted curiously as he stared at her.

Something wrong?” he mumbled.

Mona shook her head. “It's nothing. Albedo's right about Durin. He usually is about these kinds of things.”

She tried to swat his hand away, but that only had him tightening his grip on her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze once again. The moonlight caught the jut of his cheekbone and left both his eyes in shadow.

And?” he prompted.

Mona drew in a breath, aware that every moment he studied her face left her at risk of revealing her true emotions. Then, she let it out in a sigh. “You... care about him, don't you?”

What a stupid question, she immediately scolded herself. Even if it was true, Wanderer had never been the kind to admit such a thing. He'd probably sooner launch himself off Snarsnatch Cliff than—

I care about a great many things,” said Wanderer.

Mona's brow creased. Wanderer raised an eyebrow.

What, is that so hard to believe?” he mumbled, a little more sharply than before.

No, it's just... I never thought I'd hear you say something like that out loud.”

Wanderer let out a “Tch” under his breath and turned away from her, releasing her face as he did so. “To tell you the truth, neither did I. Kusanali's always telling me to 'embrace my feelings' and 'be kinder to myself. I thought I'd take her advice for once. Keep her from nagging my ear off when I go back to Sumeru.”

It's good advice,” said Mona. Not that she'd expect anything less from the God of Wisdom herself.

If you say so,” Wanderer mumbled. “Although there is something I've come to realise after my time here in Nod-Krai. Maybe it's because my mind is scattered now that the Doctor is gone, but... there are some people in this world that I would prefer not to lose.”

As he said those words, Mona noticed him turn his head. She expected him to be looking over at Durin, imagined the wistful look in his eyes.

Instead, she found his gaze fixed upon her again.

Tell me, mage,” he mumbled. “Does that make me weak?”

Mona swallowed, blindsided by the intensity in his eyes. Then, slowly, she shook her head. “No. I think it makes you human.”

The corner of Wanderer's lips twitched. For a moment, Mona thought she'd said something to piss him off.

He reached out for her hand, drew it towards his chest, and placed it flat over the spot where his heart should have been. The space underneath was eerily absent of a pulse—a fact Mona was well aware of from the nights she'd spent with her head resting against it as she drifted off to sleep.

You forget,” Wanderer said coldly. “I'm not human.”

No.” Without breaking her gaze from his, Mona slowly leant into him. The sofa creaked underneath them, betraying its age just like the bed earlier. “But Durin isn't human, either. You said it yourself. All he needs to do is learn.”

And so do you, she added in her head. You already are.

Wanderer frowned at her, no doubt prickling at having his own words against him. His hand squeezed Mona's wrist, still planted on his chest.

It was the sole warning Mona received before he slid his other arm around her waist and flipped them around on the sofa.

Mona landed on her back, a yelp of shock escaping her lips. Wanderer slotted himself between her legs, propped up on his arms so that he was caging her completely. The frown on his face had transformed into a full-on smirk.

You always find a way to get under my skin, don't you, mage?” he whispered.

A part of Mona wanted to respond to that with the indignance it warranted. Instead, she found the corners of her lips quirking up, too. “I have no obligation to be civil to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Mm. A scumbag.”

The nickname was one of their most enduring jokes—a leftover from the first day they'd met back at Musk Reef when the Harbinger Scaramouche had made an attempt on her life. Little remained of that Harbinger nowadays, but Mona still saw glimpses of him from time to time—in the sinister flash of an eye, or the menacing drag of a set of nails across her skin. Just like the nails he was curling around her neck right now, just a little too hard for comfort. Mona squirmed against him, determined to stand her ground despite the shivers trickling down her spine.

“Perhaps,” he whispered, “you should let me show you just how much of a scumbag I can be.”

He tilted Mona's head back, exposing her throat to the air, and placed a kiss against it. Her skin tingled where it met his warm lips. The shivers in her back turned to hot sparks in the pit of her belly.

As Wanderer lavished attention upon her neck, Mona found her eyes drifting over to Durin, still somehow asleep despite the noise they were making. Her chest filled with warmth as she took in the small horns poking out of the top of his head, his delicate shoulders and the tip of a wing just visible underneath the covers. She may not have experienced the breadth of his physical affections like Wanderer, but her body was still aching slightly. She could only imagine how battered Wanderer was feeling. It had been a solid hour after they'd finished fucking until Durin's knot had deflated to the point where he could pull it out of Wanderer's arse without ripping anything, but the memory of it lodged inside him remained fresh in her mind.

Wanderer laughed softly against her skin when she told him this. “Didn't you hear what I just told you?” He paused to nip at her skin, making Mona jump. “I'm not human.

Mona scoffed at his stubbornness. It was an argument she wasn't going to win—not now, not tonight, with her body lowering its defences against him more quickly than she had ever imagined possible. She wrapped a hand in his hair and kissed his temple, latched her knees around his hips and allowed him to press her more eagerly into the sofa cushions.

Wanderer may not love her. Maybe, like Durin, he simply didn't know what love was.

But he had things to care about now. People he was afraid to lose. Like the little dragon dozing nearby.

Like her.

It may not have been perfect, but it was a start. And right now, trapped in the arms of the man she loved, Mona was finally happy.