Archive of Our Own

Being called to talk with Sirei in the War Room was never a good thing, or so Takumi thought. It usually just meant bad news of some kind, or doing some sort of chore for Sirei. The worst was when he was just getting scolded for stepping out of line. Regardless, Takumi entered the room less than enthusiastic at his prospects. 

It seemed to be some sort of obnoxious chore this time.

"Mission debrief! Omokage has proposed preparing traps and poisons for the commanders before they show up to give us a tactical advantage. Large traps would be far too obvious to roll out ahead of time, so I nixed that. Poisoning seems like a better option. Unfortunately, he's got a pretty limited stock of chemicals to work with in the Bio Lab. I authorized him to go on a search mission to find some of the ingredients he needs, and he asked if you could accompany him. Do you accept?" Sirei asked. 

It was a lot of information all at once. Takumi didn't really have anything better to do with his time right now. He may as well help Yugamu out. 

"Sure, works for me," said Takumi. 

"Great! You two can work out the details then. It's his mission, not mine! Just make sure to bring him back in one piece. Or, er, multiple pieces, so long as he hasn't lost too much blood," said Sirei. He suddenly became more serious, and leaned in closer to Takumi. "That's an order, Sumino."

Takumi gulped.

"Yeah, right! Of course," he said. Sirei backed off, and returned to his usual demeanor. Takumi let out a sigh. He never knew what kind of egg he was going to get. Sirei could be moody sometimes. 

Takumi left the War Room relieved. That could have gone so much worse. Still, he wasn't all too thrilled to be working with Yugamu. That guy… He was a hard one to figure out. He was somehow incredibly open and closed off at the same time. It was probably the way he liked it, shrouded in mystique. 

Takumi wasn't quite sure why Yugamu selected him for company on the mission. Well… He had his guesses, but they were embarrassing.

He traced his hand along the wall absentmindedly as he made his way to the stairs, feeling the texture of the metal beneath his fingertips. He let his mind drift, and found it settling on a topic he often avoided confronting. A very personal topic.

Yugamu loved to flirt with him. At first, Takumi assumed he was doing it to get a rise out of him. It certainly worked; Takumi wasn't the greatest at keeping his feelings close to his chest. Yugamu had a gift for coming up with provocative innuendo that would make Takumi’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. Yugamu was so shameless about it, and while Takumi knew it would be far more awkward for Yugamu if he didn’t react at all, he couldn’t help it. Takumi could only be teased so many times before he started taking it to heart. Maybe Yugamu really did like him, and everything he said wasn't just empty flattery. It started having a far more serious effect recently, his disbelief turning into quite a troublesome crush. 

Almost slipping on the first step down the stairs was enough to snap Takumi out of his thoughts. He caught his breath, and gripped the railing tightly to ground himself. He needed to pay better attention.

Takumi wandered over to the Bio Lab. There was a good chance he’d run into Yugamu, as the guy practically lived there. Everyone’s visits to the lab became less frequent once Yugamu started asking people to keep him company while he performed various experiments, mostly out of fear of becoming the next test subject. Yugamu had been asking for far less favors recently, save for the fetch quest he recruited Takumi for.

Inside, he saw Yugamu pouring through a book as he wrote things down on a piece of paper. 

Just be normal… He didn't like Yugamu. Not like that.

"Oh, hey cutie. Miss me so much you had to come see me?" Yugamu asked before flashing him a cheeky grin. 

Fuck, maybe he did like Yugamu like that.

It made Takumi a bit distracted, and almost forgot why he had come here in the first place. Right… Yugamu had selected him as a companion.

"I just wanted to talk about our mission," asked Takumi, curtly. Yugamu sighed and put his pencil down. He leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms.

"Always straight to business with you, isn't it. That's no fun… You've got to loosen up, Takumi, live a little!" Yugamu continued. "And here I was, thinking maybe you just wanted to come spend some time with lil' ol' me. Or maybe even get dissected…"

"Hey! I would like my organs to stay on the inside of my body!" Takumi exclaimed. Yugamu just laughed at his reaction. This guy…!

Takumi looked over at the paper Yugamu was writing. The mission was probably simple, Sirei just didn't like people going off on their own, for safety reasons. He should probably socialize with Yugamu before they went off, otherwise things would be really awkward. 

"What's this?" asked Takumi. He traced his finger along the benzene ring in the sketch Yugamu made. 

"It's a compound I want to find. Eva let me take a blood sample— and before you get all up in arms, I traded her one of my eyeliner pens, so we're even," said Yugamu, as if an eyeliner pen was worth the same as a sample of blood. "I did some of the chemistry, and there's a compound I can make with a few other chemicals that when it comes in contact with blood, it coagulates. So… We lace our weapons, stab, and now the commanders are susceptible to blood clots. And because of the increased blood flow when they're transformed…" Yugamu moved his thumb over his neck, then tilted his head to the side to pantomime them dying.

Takumi let the words go in through his ear, u-turn, and then go back out the same year. 

"It's basically venom. But super effective," said Yugamu. "Should make our fights a whole lot shorter."

"Sounds brutal," said Takumi. 

Yugamu shook his head.

"It's lethal, but hopefully a lot quicker than death by a thousand cuts like we normally deal. One or two well placed hits should be enough, if we can get it working," Yugamu explained. Takumi wasn't sure if he still understood where Yugamu was coming from, but it sounded like they were making their fights more efficient. And any advantage they could get was good. They were already down a few fighters, anything that could even the playing field was a bonus. 

"So we're just going to go out and look for whatever chemical you need," said Takumi. Yugamu nodded his head. 

"That's right. There are a few laboratories in the ruins of the old city near here, some hospitals, and even what I think is a drug store. We can search all those places, and if we don't find anything we can go a little bit further out, but at that point I'm not sure it'd be worth the effort. We can't stay out too long, since we have a battle in a few days," said Yugamu. He changed his posture. He leaned against the table, and looked Takumi dead in the eyes. "Unless we get lost, and never find our way back, only having each other to rely on for the rest of the days…"

"They'd send a search party for us," said Takumi, bluntly. 

"Well, then we'll have to be extra quiet about it," Yugamu joked. Takumi felt like he should go now. Things had already gotten a bit awkward. But… 

"Do you want to get dinner? With me? We can uh, plan out what totally won't happen when we get lost," said Takumi. He winced. That was so clunky and awkward, he hoped Yugamu wouldn't be put off by it. Much to his relief, Yugamu seemed amused. 

"Of course. I needed a break anyway. I've been cooped up here all day making sure I know what I'm looking for. Hey Takumi, if you're curious about it, human blood isn't all that different than the invader blood. I've run some tests comparing mine to Eva's, and the results are just fascinating…"

It took enough time for Takumi to go down to the cafeteria, and eat half his sandwich before Yugamu stopped talking about blood. Thank goodness, he wasn't sure how much more he could take before it started affecting his appetite. 

"You never know what sort of danger’s out there; could be a storm, could be invaders. Don’t worry, if you get injured, I can sew you right back up," said Yugamu. He bit down on his bottom lip as he crafted his fake scenario. “Of course, I wouldn’t want you to get injured, but if it just so happened to occur… Oh, your soft, perfect skin… Your iron rich blood… Maybe I’d even get to see one of your cute little bones you keep so hidden from me!”

“Hey! Stop fantasizing about my bones!” Takumi exclaimed. This was the last thing he wanted to hear before going on a mission with someone. 

“I’m only trying to reassure you, just in case of the worst,” said Yugamu. 

Which would have been far more effective had Yugamu not gone on and on about the details of Takumi’s hypothetical injury. Ideally, there would be absolutely no injuries at all. But… if something did happen, Yugamu would know how to patch him up. He had a decent amount of medical knowledge. And acknowledging that things could go wrong wasn’t the worst thing to do. Yugamu was never one for conventional conversation. He didn’t shy away from topics that made others uncomfortable. Takumi appreciated it, at least a little bit.

"You know, I picked you because if we did get stranded out there, I'd rather it be with you," said Yugamu. He traced his finger along the metal of his fork. Takumi wasn't a fan of them, it always felt like such a violent act to stab the food with them. And in Yugamu's hand, it looked more like a weapon than a tool.

"Really? Why's that?" asked Takumi. 

"You have good survival skills," said Yugamu, nonchalantly. He narrowed his eye playfully. "What, did you think I just picked you for your charming looks, or lovable personality? Because those were factors I considered. You certainly would be delicious eye candy."

Takumi almost spit out the water he was drinking. Instead, he snorted, and breathed a little of it in. He coughed twice, then looked back at Yugamu. 

"Are you okay?" asked Yugamu. 

"Yeah. Fine."

Takumi coughed again, one more time, just to make sure the water was all out. How could Yugamu just say these things with such a straight face?! He definitely had to be enjoying Takumi's embarrassment. 

"You sure like teasing me," said Takumi. Yugamu folded his hands and rested his chin on them. 

"You're so cute, especially when you blush, I can't resist it," admitted Yugamu. 

"Do you really mean all the things you say?" Takumi blurted out. "I mean, you say a lot of weird stuff sometimes."

Yugamu's expression hardened up. He sat up straighter.

"Of course I mean it! Takumi… Did you think I was leading you on?" asked Yugamu. 

"No? Yes? Maybe? I don't know." This was stupid. Why did he even ask that? Now he was going to be trapped in a conversation about feelings, and it was going to be really off putting and make him all squirmy.

Yugamu brushed his foot up against Takumi's under the table. It made Takumi stiffen up, but he didn't move his foot away. He could just pretend he didn't notice them touching, so Yugamu could keep doing what he was doing.

But that was just it, wasn't it? As long as he kept the status quo the same, so Yugamu would keep feeding into it. 

"Do you want me to mean it? Does it make you upset that you don't know for sure?"

Yugamu's questions were picking Takumi apart methodically and lethally. It was like he was a crustacean of some sort, his outer shell had now cracked and his soft parts were exposed. 

He didn't want to respond. He didn't want to say he liked the flirting, that even though it always threw him for a loop, it made him feel all fuzzy inside. He didn't want to open up to Yugamu, only for it to have been some sadistic emotional manipulation. 

"Maybe."

It was a non-answer. Yugamu made a face that seemed to border on displeasure. 

"Then I take it back. Maybe I mean it, maybe I don't."

That felt so much worse! Takumi flinched. This was so unbelievably awkward. 

"Wait. Yugamu…Can it mean something? Please?"

It was as if he were asking him for permission. No, begging for his affection. 

"Do you want me to show you how much it means?" Yugamu's eye was full of mischief or raw sexual desire. Takumi couldn't differentiate the look easily; Yugamu always had a level of underlying horniness that was hard to parse. 

Takumi nodded his head. 

"Great. Meet me in my bedroom when you're done here."

Yugamu took his plate up and put it away. An easy escape… Takumi picked at the rest of his sandwich as he considered what to do. He didn't think Yugamu would leave so suddenly, not when they were getting along so well. It was just irritating. He could wait until tomorrow morning to see Yugamu, but he was deathly curious to see what would happen when he went to his room. It was obviously some kind of test. Yugamu was always pulling him around, seeing what kind of affection worked. And now the ball was in Takumi's court. He could ignore it, or look for something more. 

And so he found himself in front of Yugamu's door, sheepishly knocking against it. His confidence had left his body as soon as he walked up stairs, now his legs were made of jelly.

"Oh, you came!" said Yugamu with a cheeky grin. 

"Why do you sound so surprised by it?" retorted Takumi. Yugamu waved off the comment and led Takumi into his bedroom. Lair felt more apt. The lighting was dim, illuminated solely by thin neon blue lights around the room. Takumi's eyes darted to the random assortment of pills and needles on Yugamu's table, and gulped. 

"Even a guy like me needs to feel wanted sometimes," said Yugamu. He sat down on his bed, then looked the other way. "Ah… I'm getting all shy. I've never had a cute boy all alone in my room with me before."

Was he serious?! After making a whole spectacle and everything…

Takumi groaned audibly and sat down next to Yugamu. 

"Weren't you supposed to show me how much your words meant?" asked Takumi. The more he thought about it, the more frustrating it became. He kept getting yanked back and forth about Yugamu's intentions. He just needed to know if there was something truly there between them or not. 

Yugamu slowly turned towards Takumi. His face was illuminated in the soft blue glow. It made everything look dreamlike and ethereal.

"I really like you, Takumi." 

Takumi felt Yugamu’s hand rest on top of his, squeezed before he could think anything of it. He looked up and met Yugamu’s gaze, soft and comforting in his eye.

Yugamu leaned in, and paused before their lips touched, just a breath away. Takumi's heart was racing. Yugamu had left everything up to him to decide if they would move forward or not. It was such an annoyance, yet he understood why Yugamu did it. He needed reassurance too, that Takumi really wanted him, that he wasn't just throwing himself at a passively accepting Takumi. He wanted to feel wanted.

And so he kissed him, leaning in further to brush his lips against Yugamu's. Yugamu brought his hands to Takumi's waist, maneuvering him closer to him on the bed. He was very deliberate with each of his kisses, not too forceful, not too shallow. But clearly showing some sort of restraint, because every few moments Takumi felt like Yugamu was trying to eat him alive. He didn't want to stop; once things were in motion with Yugamu, it was easy to continue. The hard part was starting again. Takumi never knew when the next time they would have an opportunity would be. 

Yugamu pulled out of the kisses with a knowing grin. His hands felt tingly on Takumi's hips. Yugamu brought one lower, teasing at the hem of Takumi's shirt as if he was trying to find a way underneath it, but was unsure if Takumi would let him. For a brief moment, Takumi felt Yugamu's fingers against his skin. They were so cold to the touch that they made him flinch and pull away.

Yugamu immediately took his hands off him. Takumi opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He didn't know how to phrase anything right now. There was an awkward silence, where all Takumi could focus on was the heart beat in his ears drowning out anything he could say to amend the situation. 

"It's late. I should head to bed."

He danced around the words he wanted to say, and grimaced at how easy these ones flowed.

"My bed's big enough for both of us, and besides, we've got to wake up early," added Yugamu, desperately trying to give Takumi another chance.

Takumi parried his response without even thinking about it. 

"Are you kidding? I won't get a wink of sleep with you in the bed!"

At least that got a chuckle, and a little blush out of Yugamu. Takumi balled his fists and looked down at his lap, heat forming in his own cheeks. He wasn't sure if the double meaning was purely unintentional, or if his subconscious was getting tired of his deflections. It would be so easy to just accept Yugamu's advances. At the same time, it felt harder than anything Takumi had done in his life. He wanted him but… he just wasn't ready. Takumi looked up at Yugamu, who was sitting so close to him on the bed that their knees brushed together. 

He should stay the night. His heart began to race, beating in his chest so fast that he felt he was going to be sick. He was pushing himself too much. Tomorrow… There was always tomorrow…

"I'll see you in the morning, for our outing, right?" asked Yugamu, breaking the awkward silence. Takumi nodded his head. 

"Yeah. 

Takumi could hardly sleep that night. He felt tired, yet sleep wouldn't claim him. His mind was going a hundred miles an hour as he tossed and turned in his sheets. He kept replaying everything in his head again, touching his lips as if that would allow him to feel the ghost of the lips he'd just kissed. Everything had happened so fast, he hadn't expected to make out with him when they went back to his room. He hadn't expected to even have dinner with him either. And now… 

He should just get up and go to Yugamu's room. Apologize for being a bit non committal earlier, and spend the night. But as he went to get up, he felt so unsure of the decision that he turned around and went back to bed. 

No, he made his decision. He couldn't bother Yugamu now. The guy was probably trying to sleep. They had a big day tomorrow, and needed all the rest they could get. 

Takumi stared up at the ceiling. He looked over at his clock every few minutes and swore time was playing a trick on him. Things couldn't be progressing this slowly! Truthfully, he couldn't wait for it to be tomorrow, for the two of them to go out on their mission. He was excited, and nervous, to spend more alone time with Yugamu. 

He just needed to sleep… 

With morning came a gift of grogginess. Takumi could barely keep his eyes open as he brushed his teeth in front of the mirror. His hair was all messed up. He ran his brush through it. It poofed. Takumi wet his hands in the sink, then smoothed his hair down. He brushed it again, in careful strokes this time. Then he groaned in annoyance after realizing that he was wasting time making himself look nice, like some kind of flouncy bird. 

Well. All he'd done was wet his hair. That was certainly far from ‘bird’. 

He finished getting ready, and glanced at the clock. It was almost time for the announcement, and Yugamu hadn't even knocked on his door yet. Usually he was prompt about this kind of thing. Apparently not, this time at least. What if he was asleep? 

Takumi rolled his eyes and left his dorm room. The morning air was chilled and dewy. He marched up to Yugamu's door, and knocked loudly. 

"Come in!" Yugamu called out from inside. Takumi opened the door. Yugamu's room was dark, except for the neon blue lights, even this early in the morning. Yugamu himself was in front of the mirror, thankfully dressed, applying his makeup.

"You know it's just the two of us exploring today," said Takumi, crossing his arms. 

"Says the guy who wet his hair."

He could tell?!

"And now you're probably thinking to yourself, 'it's strange that he could tell'. I don't think most people would notice, but I'm always paying attention to you, Takumi," Yugamu said with a wink. 

"I'm sure," Takumi replied. Yugamu drew a line coming down from his eye in such an exact and effortless motion that Takumi couldn't help but be impressed. His hands were certainly steady.

"Stop looking at me like that, you're going to make me blush," said Yugamu, playfully bashful. 

"I'm not looking at you any differently than I normally do," said Takumi.

"That's the best part."

Takumi turned around and left the room. He closed the door and leaned on it with his back. Oh… What was he to do…?

Takumi left Yugamu in his room, and went down to the cafeteria to stock his bag up with rations. Some granola bars, bottled water, and a few fruits to give the illusion of a healthy diet. He made it back up to Yugamu's room before he was done with his morning routine.

When he entered the room again, Yugamu tossed him a bottle of unlabeled pills. 

"What's this?" asked Takumi. Yugamu shrugged. 

"Just take one."

Takumi looked at the pills in his hand. 

"Yeah. I am not doing that," said Takumi. It could be literally anything. Though if Yugamu was offering it to him, it probably wasn't all that bad…

"It's like caffeine. You look like you're going to fall asleep on your feet. It'll perk you right up," said Yugamu. 

"You said it's like caffeine," said Takumi, cautiously. 

"Correct."

Takumi weighed the pros and cons briefly in his mind, before setting the bottle down on the little table in Yugamu's room. Better safe than sorry. Yugamu shrugged his shoulders. 

"Ready to head out?" asked Takumi. 

"You've come into my room twice already and I still haven't gotten a good morning kiss," complained Yugamu. "You really don't know how to make a guy feel special, Takumi."

"Ugh. Fine."

Takumi stepped forwards towards him. He leaned in to give a quick peck on the lips. Yugamu leaned backwards, away from him. Takumi almost lost his balance trying to follow. He grabbed onto Yugamu's arm to try to pull him closer, but he just ended up elongating it. 

"Hey! Stop that!" Takumi groaned. Why was he being so difficult?!

"I don't want it if it's a chore," said Yugamu. He waved his hand on his non-stretched arm. "Just forget it. No kiss for poor Yugamu…"

He began to walk towards the door. Takumi followed. 

"Can I try again?" asked Takumi. "Please?" He made the mistake of tugging on Yugamu's arm again, just drawing more of it out. How stretchy was this guy?!

"No. I'm heartbroken," said Yugamu. He opened the door. Takumi dropped his arm and Yugamu retracted it back to its normal length. He practically chased Yugamu to the stairs, since he was walking briskly to get away from him. 

"I didn't mean it!" Takumi said as Yugamu continued to give him the cold shoulder. 

He thought Yugamu had just been messing with him at first, and it was all just a flirting tactic. But maybe he was a bit sensitive… He'd have to be a bit more mindful of that in the future. He didn't want to hurt Yugamu's feelings any more than he already did. Takumi cringed as he thought about the encounter again. 

The two of them were both silent as they went to the entrance hall. 

Takumi grabbed one of the fire extinguishers. If they were lucky, they'd find the parts they needed, and make it back before dinner time. Yugamu wasn't the type to hold a grudge. By then, they'd definitely have made up. And Takumi could spend the night… 

"Hey, you're wasting all the foam," said Yugamu. Takumi snapped back to reality and stopped spraying the fire extinguisher at the undying flames. 

"Ah, sorry, I wasn't paying attention," said Takumi.

"See a cute boy and get distracted?"

"Something like that."

Yugamu grinned. It made Takumi smile back. Oh, if only he knew Takumi was actually thinking about him. He probably wouldn't even believe him. Takumi shook his head. He had to stay alert and on top of everything. Going beyond the wall of fire always unearthed unease within him nowadays. The Revive-o-Matic was certainly convenient, but he didn't want to become complacent. Sometimes he felt his brain over-corrected. They would be fine… It was just a simple fetch quest. Nothing like the ambush mission to the enemy base. The stakes here were much lower. 

"Is it too late for a good morning kiss?" asked Takumi. "Or am I getting to afternoon territory?"

Yugamu used his hand as a visor to look for the sun. He squinted for a moment, and spun around, trying to locate it. When he couldn't, he simply shook his head. 

"Hm. It's cloudy. Beats me."

Yugamu was distracted… Now was his chance! Takumi snuck a kiss onto his cheek. 

"This is for the morning, then," said Takumi, hand over his own mouth, shocked that he had the guts to do it. His cheeks burned red. Their tongues had been inside each others' mouths last night, but the butterflies were still excitable with even the most chaste of kisses. He really wanted to kiss Yugamu again. After the mission was over… They could enjoy each others' company in the comfort of his room. 

"Fine, I'll accept it," said Yugamu. The corner of his mouth turned up into a slight smirk. Takumi knew he couldn't stay mad at him. "I was waiting for it, who knew denying the pleasure would make it feel so much better?"

"You make it sound like I was edging you!" Takumi exclaimed. 

"Guilty!"

They wandered further among the ruins of the city that once stood here. The buildings looked like they had been destroyed ages ago, but the architecture didn't look all that ancient. Takumi wasn't the best at geography, he wasn't sure he could point out exactly where they were on Earth even if he was given a map. 

"I always find it unsettling," said Yugamu, breaking the silence. "It's just so devoid of life… There's not even any bodies lying around. No bugs, rats, or birds… It just makes me think; how long ago was this all destroyed? I hope they could have evacuated, but something tells me all this has been going on for a long time."

Takumi nodded his head. Now that Yugamu pointed out the absence of something as small as a fly, Takumi was acutely aware of just how alone they were. It was a ghost town, through and through. All he could hear as they walked was the sound of their boots on the concrete beneath them. 

"I think there's a lab around this way," said Yugamu. Takumi shrugged his shoulders.

"All the buildings kind of look the same to me. There's not much structure to most of them," he admitted. Yugamu paused. 

"Really? They look pretty distinct to me. You must not pay attention when you go out exploring," said Yugamu. Takumi rolled his eyes. 

"I do! Just, not to buildings," he said, getting a bit defensive. "There's other stuff on my mind."

"Oh?" Yugamu turned around, and ran up next to him. "What other kind of stuff?"

"If I say it's you, can we skip the teasing and move on?" Takumi asked. Yugamu couldn't hide his smirk if he tried to. 

"But that's the best part! You're so cute when you're embarrassed. It's such a hard emotion for you to mask," said Yugamu. 

So his suspicions had been correct. Yugamu did like flirting with him to get a reaction. But as of last night, maybe it was something more. Takumi wanted it to be more. 

It might have made him an idiot. 

His heart sank. 

Yugamu circled around Takumi as they continued walking in the direction he pointed out, like a shark circling a boat. 

"You're looking pensive," deduced Yugamu. 

"Oh, am I?" Takumi mumbled. 

"You're cute when you're pensive, too. And when you're happy, or pouting, or frustrated— but then it's kind of hot," Yugamu said, holding the sides of his own arms. "So many different faces that my little Yugamu doesn't even know how to behave himself."

As crude as it was, Takumi could tell that Yugamu had picked up on his apprehension and emotional withdrawal from the conversation. And for that, he did appreciate a straightforward answer. Even if he wasn't quite ready to meet little Yugamu yet. 

He wasn't sure how to respond to Yugamu's flirtations, and instead focused on the mission. 

"Are we here yet?" asked Takumi. Yugamu seemed a little peeved to be ignored, by the way his eye narrowed. Takumi gulped.

"It's the next building over, I think," said Yugamu. Takumi nodded and let him lead the way. Yugamu climbed up over some rocks, then jumped to stay on some of the higher rubble. 

"Be careful! It doesn't look that stable", said Takumi. 

"I'm quick on my feet, and know how to stick a landing. I'm finding the easiest path," Yugamu called over. He paused before his next jump, and turned around. "You care about my safety… It's sweet!"

Maybe Takumi was a little sweet. If that's what caused Yugamu to be more cautious, then it was a good thing, and definitely not something to be flustered about. 

He followed Yugamu, climbing some of the rubble to get where he was. 

They entered through the broken second story window. Yugamu coughed as he breathed in some of the dirt and dust. Takumi looked around and saw what looked to be a lab of sorts, with some machinery on top of tables, and the walls lined with cabinets or shelves containing chemicals. There were no footsteps in the dirt, save for the ones he and Yugamu made when they entered the room. The only source of light was coming in from the windows, though with the overcast above it wasn't as easy to see as he would have liked. 

Yugamu climbed up onto the counter. He spread his legs open. 

"Takumi~" He called out, mischief written all over his face. "Want to have a quickie?"

Takumi felt the heat in his cheeks burn so red he felt like he was going to get lightheaded. 

"We're supposed to be searching!"

"That's why I said a quickie, and not a long evening filled with passionate sex," said Yugamu, shaking his head. "It's fine, I'll just suck you dry when we get back."

This guy…! Takumi turned around so Yugamu wouldn't reap the benefits of the emotions he sowed. He instead fixated on the vials of chemicals in front of him. He squinted at the labels. The language looked different than what he was used to reading, yet the structure wasn't too far off. How did Yugamu expect to find things if they couldn't read the labels?

"It looks like this."

A chill went down Takumi's spine as Yugamu pressed up behind him. He rested his chin on Takumi's shoulder, reaching around to slip him a piece of paper with something written on it. 

"You can read it?" asked Takumi. Yugamu made a noise of disagreement. 

"Absolutely not. But I can read chemical structures. I have no idea how to pronounce this, but it's what we need," said Yugamu. Takumi shrugged his shoulders. 

"Good enough for me."

Yugamu stayed behind him, and reached around him to grab another vial off the shelf. It was so inconvenient, but that's what made it feel that much better. Yugamu didn't have to be doing any of this. He wanted to. 

Takumi cursed his mind for going back to Yugamu's 'display' on the counter, and the promise of a fun time later. They had got to find this damn chemical soon, or Takumi was going to go stir crazy. He couldn't get back to the school any sooner. 

He took chemicals off the wall, one by one, showing the labels to Yugamu (who was still pressed up against his back and leaning his head over his shoulder). This was quite possibly the least efficient way to search. All he could think about was Yugamu, Yugamu, Yugamu…..

"Agh!" Takumi exclaimed. He dropped the vial he was holding, crimson blood beading on the tips of his index and middle finger. The glass beneath him shattered, and the liquid sprayed out. He quickly took a step back, knocking Yugamu to the ground. 

"What happened?" asked Yugamu. Takumi showed him his hand. 

"I think the glass was already broken, because it cut me when I picked it up," said Takumi. Yugamu grabbed his wrist and yanked it closer, trying to analyze Takumi's finger tips in the dim light. 

"It doesn't look like any of the glass is still stuck in your hand…"

Takumi was going to agree with him, but instead was caught so off guard by Yugamu popping the fingers into his mouth, and sucking. It was warm and wet. His tongue lay underneath Takumi’s fingers like a soft cushion. Yugamu licked, his tongue tensing up as he dragged it along the fingertips all the way to the ends. He touched the tip of his tongue deliberately on Takumi’s finger pads, teasing the wounds. Takumi’s mouth opened, agape at the sensation of his fingers being lapped at so tenderly and seductively. 

"What are you, a vampire?!" Takumi exclaimed. 

Yugamu took his fingers out, a bit of spit linking his lips to the fingers. Takumi went to wipe his wet fingers on his pants. It was difficult to tell if there was still blood on them in the low light. He opted to wipe them on his cheek by his jawbone instead.

"Saliva can help heal wounds faster," Yugamu explained. 

"Doesn't that double the infection risk, though?" asked Takumi. Yugamu didn't seem bothered. 

"My mouth is really clean."

"Clean is not the word I would use to describe it…"

Yugamu sighed and shook his head at Takumi's response. He brought his hand up and wiped the smudge on Takumi’s cheek. 

"Let's just get back to searching. As much joy as it would bring me, I know you would hate for me to amputate your fingers because your wounds became infected."

"Aha! See! There is an infection risk! Wait, what?!" Takumi processed the first part of Yugamu's sentence a little too late. But by that time, Yugamu was already scouring the shelves for the chemical. 

Takumi decided to give him a little space. He walked a bit deeper into the room, towards the back. There were still a few windows where he could get light from, so he stuck close by them and began carefully pulling containers off the shelves. He wondered what kind of research lab this was. He didn't see any tanks or cages that rats could be kept in, and he had absolutely no idea what the machines were for. It looked like there was an incubator, or fridge, of some kind. 

After checking a few vials, Takumi felt himself nodding off a bit. This was unbelievably boring. He yawned. Looking for a pattern of squiggles that didn't mean anything to him all over the text of the bottle was mind numbing. He leaned against the incubator-fridge and picked up the next bottle. He almost lost his balance. He jumped up onto the counter to sit instead. 

He must have spaced out looking at the glass, because he didn't even notice Yugamu bursting into the room. 

"Takumi!" shouted Yugamu to get his attention. Shoot, he had totally dozed off, didn't he? 

Then his eyes saw it. Those squiggles… It matched up perfectly with what Yugamu had shown him!

"I think I got i-" Takumi was cut off by Yugamu shouting at him. 

"We gotta go!"

It was hardly a warning. The floor gave out almost instantly. Takumi felt his stomach drop as he was suddenly falling. He could hardly react before he hit the ground, and was pelted by what he assumed were bits of concrete and shelving from the floor above him. 

The last thing he remembered was excruciating pain. 

Takumi wasn't sure how long he was out. But the next time he was lucid, it still felt like a dream. It was brighter now, no doubt from the upper parts of the building completely caving in. It made his eyes sting, but it could have also been from the dust and dirt in the air. His head hurt, and as he brought his hand up to feel it, he wasn't sure where the blood had come from, only that his hand was completely sticky with it. But his leg hurt most of all. Trapped under another piece of rock, he tried to yank on it, and yelled out in pain. 

"Ahhhhh!"

Takumi closed his eyes and yanked as hard as he could. When he opened his eyes, he connected pain to an image. 

It felt ten times worse. 

He could hardly look at it. His pant leg had completely ripped open. The skin was raw and scraped, blood pooling to the surface. And about three inches below his knee, he could see the sharp white bone of his lower leg bursting through the skin.

He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. His heart was beating so fast he felt like he might have a heart attack if it went any faster. He felt dizzy, spinning his head around to look for any sign of Yugamu. 

And then he saw a tuft of blue hair. He was a little further down in the rubble than Takumi was, and from what Takumi could tell, it looked like he was a bit more physically trapped. 

"Yugamu? Yugamu?!" Takumi shouted, his voice hoarse. 

There was no response. Takumi's heart sank. His fear was materializing. 

It took another few seconds before he heard it. 

"Still… alive…"

Takumi cried tears of joy.

"Yugamu! Just hang tight… I'm going to come over," said Takumi. He winced as he tried to move, pain from his leg making him feel like vomiting. He was lightheaded every time he looked directly at it. 

"Someone has to be looking for us," said Takumi. He took off his jacket and used his sword to cut one of the sleeves off. He tied it tightly around his own leg to stop the bleeding. "Or at least, they'll start looking soon."

"They won't even notice we're gone until tomorrow morning. You've… been missing for longer," Yugamu said through gritted teeth. "It will be too late for me by the time anyone else gets here."

Takumi lifted up his leg, wincing through the pain. He tried not to focus on the pain, or how the stark white piece of what he'd tell himself was rock was sticking out of his ripped pant leg. 

This was definitely going to be a problem. He inched himself closer to where Yugamu was trapped, dragging his leg on the ground. The pain shot all the way up through his spine, like every nerve along the way was on fire. If he didn't have adrenaline pumping through his veins, he would have screamed, or passed out, or both in sequence. 

"I'll get you out of here. I promise. Can you move your legs?" asked Takumi. Yugamu closed his eyes. 

"I can't feel my legs at all. I don't know if they're still attached. I feel lightheaded, so I might be losing blood from somewhere, and that's my guess," said Yugamu, eerily calm about the situation. He took in a shallow breath. "It's the chest compression that's really killing me. It's so hard to breathe."

Takumi felt a pit form in his stomach. 

"Save your strength, you don't have to talk," said Takumi. 

"I want to," said Yugamu. Takumi felt uneasy about his attitude. Something wasn't right here, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He scooched himself closer, until he could fully assess the damage. 

Yugamu was compressed between two big pieces of rubble, one of which had pinned his chest to the ground. Smaller pieces filled the gaps. His left arm was tucked between a smaller piece of concrete, but his right arm was free, and bent in an odd way. His cheek was scraped up and bloody. Takumi could see the red liquid stain some of the rubble surrounding him. 

"What about your arms?" asked Takumi. Yugamu gave a good yank to his trapped arm, pulling, with no use. 

"My hand is pointed down, and trapped. I think it's dislocated from my wrist. I can't wiggle it free," sighed Yugamu. 

Takumi used the hilt of his sword to push himself up to a standing position. He leaned against it like a crutch, and hobbled over to the smaller pile of rubble, where Yugamu's arm was caught. He planted his good leg on the ground, and turned around, pushing his upper back against the rubble to try to dislodge some of it.

"Be careful," hissed Yugamu. "You're going to make the rest of the building collapse."

Takumi ignored him, and continued to put his back into it, until he got light headed. He panted, and relaxed, leaning back against the rubble in temporary defeat. 

"What's going on?" asked Yugamu. 

"I lost a lot of blood too, I feel like I'm going to throw up," said Takumi, before covering his mouth. He needed to conserve all his energy he could, but it would all be worthless if he couldn't free Yugamu. "Just give me a minute."

"You're going to pass out and die," said Yugamu. 

"Way to be blunt! And it's not me I'm worried about right now," said Takumi. He grit his teeth again, and heaved, using all of the strength he could muster to push upwards on the rubble. He felt like the veins in his head were going to pop open and bleed everywhere. It could actually be happening right now by the feel of it, and he wouldn't even notice. 

Takumi stopped pushing, and slunk down onto the rock beneath him. He pulled his good leg to his chest, and rested his forehead on it. 

"I can't… Agh! If my stupid leg wasn't so busted up…! I can't ground myself," shouted Takumi in frustration. He got up again, forcing himself through the pain, and tried to lift. 

Yugamu was silent this time, so much so that Takumi had stopped lifting to check and see if he was still breathing. He sighed with relief when he heard Yugamu's frighteningly audible inhale.

"… Takumi. I don't think it's going to happen," said Yugamu. His pessimism was really starting to get to Takumi. He had to ignore it, or he would succumb to despair, and all hope would be lost at freeing him. 

"Huh? I can do it, I think I felt it budge a little the last time I pushed," said Takumi. He wasn't sure if his brain was playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn it moved. Yugamu was unconvinced.

"Don't lie to me. We both know… I'm trapped."

Yugamu's voice had so much resignation that it made Takumi feel fear. He looked at him with wide eyes, and wiped the tears away. 

"If I keep trying, maybe I can-"

"Takumi, please," interrupted Yugamu, raising his voice. "Save your strength. You don't have to die here with me."

The words echoed in Takumi's mind. Death… Takumi felt like he was going to be sick, holding the burning bile in his mouth. 

Die here?

Was that really… Did Yugamu really think that was going to happen? No… He shouldn't even entertain the thought. Giving up was the worst thing he could do right now. 

"We're not going to die," said Takumi. 

Yugamu closed his eye. 

"I suppose it's fitting. Karmic retribution, in a sense. I came out here to search for a chemical to use as a weapon, to aid us in killing. I thought maybe… Maybe after the war, I could finally stop. I've taken enough lives. I'd be a doctor, and I'd save them instead. But… I guess… there was another path… for my future."

Each word out of Yugamu's mouth stabbed Takumi right in the chest. 

"No, it wasn't your fault—"

"I'll take it, so you don't have to."

Yugamu's words were haunting. Just what did he mean by that? Takumi was silent. He replayed the event over and over in his mind, as best he could remember it. They entered the building from piles of rubble on the second floor. Yugamu teased him, and Takumi cut his finger. Yugamu put his fingers in his mouth, and the two of them split up to search. Takumi felt wobbly, and dizzy, and then- 

His stomach lurched. 

Had he not recognized the signs of structural collapse? He had been so tired, he assumed it was fatigue getting to him, that he was in desperate need of a nap. Then that's why Yugamu ran over, and…!

Oh, no. 

It was definitely his fault. 

Takumi vomited bile, his throat and lips burning.

"Fetch the bag… eat something…" Yugamu breathed out. 

Takumi shook his head. 

"No, I don't want to."

"Fine. Starve."

Takumi hung his head. He knew Yugamu was trying to help. He just didn't want to waste their resources. Well, that was the easy way out, and what he'd pretend the reason was. The truth was that he didn't deserve anything. 

Yugamu didn't speak to him while Takumi was silent. He wasn't sure if minutes, or hours passed, but the light was getting dim. 

Takumi felt useless. His leg was in so much pain he couldn't stand again. The adrenaline had worn off. His head hurt so much it felt like there was a thick fog inside his skull preventing him from thinking at all. All they could do was wait…

When Yugamu finally spoke again, the sun was down, and the air was chilly. Takumi almost didn't notice, his voice was so quiet.

"Takumi. I need you to listen to me very closely," said Yugamu, voice dark. Takumi nodded his head. 

"I'm listening."

"I need you to rationally think about what I am going to say," said Yugamu, with the same disturbing air as before. 

"Okay."

"I am going to die a slow, agonizing death. My chest is being compressed by a large piece of concrete. My extremities are trapped. Prolonged squeezing of my muscles will cause them to break down, and this will cause my kidneys to fail. I will slowly lose the strength to continue breathing with such a heavy force pushing down on me. It is not going to be pretty. Takumi-"

"No… No!"

Takumi covered his ears as Yugamu listed off the details of his fate. He knew where this was going. He didn't want him to ask. He couldn't bear the thought of it. 

"Takumi, please listen to me. I need you to understand the gravity of the situation," pleaded Yugamu. "Just try."

Takumi shook his head. He couldn't look at Yugamu right now. He couldn't accept a single word Yugamu was saying. All was not lost, even if things were looking pretty bad, there had to be a way out of this. 

"They're going to send a search party! They're going to find us! We're not that far out, we just have to sit tight and wait until-"

"You have to kill me."

Yugamu's words were a knife in his chest. It was one thing if Yugamu had died during the initial collapse of the building. It was totally different if Takumi was the force behind it. He grit his teeth, and balled his fists.

"No."

Yugamu groaned in disbelief. 

"I'd do it myself, but I can't. Please, Takumi, let me die with dignity."

"Do you even understand what you're asking me to do!?" Takumi didn't mean to raise his voice as much as he did, but the words just spilled out before he could do anything about it. "We can't just give up. I can't lose you, Yugamu… I don't want you to die! I want you to be saved, I want us to live together. And I can't do that if… if I kill you for no reason!"

For a second, Takumi thought the words had gotten through to Yugamu, that he was considering what he had to say and backing down from his hasty assertion. But it was soon proved just to be a pause. 

"So you'd rather torture me for however long it takes for me to die?"

Takumi felt his heart twist inside his chest. 

"I don't want to torture you, I just… Yugamu, please, I want you to live! Is that so wrong of me? I can't- I can't do it. I don't want to do it," Takumi choked out. 

Yugamu didn't reply to him. Takumi felt uneasy. He quickly scanned Yugamu's position, to see if there was any possibility he could take his own life from what little items he had access to. The chemical they searched for had been smashed onto one of the pieces of debris. And as long as Takumi held on tight to his sword, there was no way for Yugamu to pry it from him. 

It seemed they were at a stalemate. Takumi was not, under any circumstances, going to kill Yugamu. Not when there was a chance they could be saved. 

Yugamu had other thoughts on the situation. Takumi didn't want to hear them. Even the mere suggestion that a search party wouldn't come made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to consider it. A search party had to come. 

But before he knew it, Yugamu had started telling a story of one of his previous jobs. At first, Takumi listened as if it were any other story. But it quickly took a darker turn. 

"…When I arrived at the hospital, I realized that the person who had hired me was the same person lying in the bed. She was suffering from a terrible illness, one without a chance of recovery. Each day her symptoms worsened. Her family was forcing her to stay alive. It was then that I understood the value of death, of my work as an assassin," said Yugamu. "I didn't understand why she wanted me to assassinate her, but I respected it. I'd like to think… I understand it now."

"It's different!" Exclaimed Takumi. "You can't just die to… to rocks! There's got to be a way out of here, if I can just figure out how to free you, I can take you back to the school and we can revive you there-"

"And how long will that take? How long will it be before you realize there's no way out? How long do I have to suffer because you can't muster up the courage to help me?!" There was a fire in Yugamu's eye that burned Takumi as he looked into it. He had seldom seen Yugamu angry. The look on his face was that of malice and disbelief. 

Takumi was silent. He could argue with Yugamu, tell him that he was still looking for a solution, but Yugamu was hardly listening to anything he was saying. 

"I always thought my death would be romantic," said Yugamu, letting the fire in his eye die down. His gaze was that of sadness and remembrance now. "That I would die in the arms of someone who truly loved me. They'd take my life, and it would be theirs to hold deep within their heart. If… When I die like this… There's no deeper meaning. I'm trapped, and you could set me free, but instead you're choosing to torture me passively. It's ironic, I've considered myself both a sadist and a masochist, but I wouldn't wish this upon even my worst enemy."

"You're not going to die," said Takumi. "Just… Stop saying that."

The sound of Yugamu's pained breaths filled the gap between them. It was heartbreaking to listen to. If only he could do anything to help. Anything… anything but that. 

He tried not to let the fact that Yugamu said he wouldn't even treat his worst enemies like this get to him. Yugamu was in a lot of pain right now, and wanted to do anything to get out of it. Takumi wouldn't hold it against him. If the roles were reversed, he would feel the same way. And after they were rescued, he'd thank Yugamu for not ending it prematurely.

Takumi didn't know how long they went without speaking. He felt himself nodding off, and bumping his leg to help him jolt right awake. The pain was almost incomprehensible, so he was unable to contain the little yelp that escaped his lips.

"Takumi, go to sleep."

"No."

Yugamu groaned audibly.

"Why are you so intent on making yourself suffer? It doesn't make me feel better," said Yugamu. "I care about you, Takumi… Please, stop doing this."

Takumi's heart ached. If only Yugamu knew why he was doing this… But he didn't want to bring any more despair into their situation.

His heart betrayed him, and his eyes filled with tears. He sobbed ugly, long heaves. He was tired, he was hungry, he was in so much pain, and he was scared.

"I can't fall asleep… Because… What if… what if you… What if I wake up, and you're gone?!"

"Takumi…"

It was the last conversation he remembered. Takumi suddenly jolted awake. He was unsure if he had fallen asleep, or just spaced out. It was difficult to tell time like this. It felt like just a few hours, and a whole week at the same time. 

Yugamu cried out in anguish.

"Please, Takumi, all I want right now is to die in a way that matters, to be put to rest by someone who cares about me. But… I guess that was too much to ask for someone like you."

"Stop, just stop saying that." Takumi's voice was shaky. His tears fell off his cheeks in fat globs. He wiped them with his sleeves, but it didn't help to clear his vision. "I care about you more than you could understand. That's why you don't get it! I can't kill you, Yugamu. Because if I do… That's it. I'm admitting that we've tried everything, that the situation is hopeless. And I just don't believe it. It'd be easy for you to die. You won't have to live with the guilt of knowing that there could have been a way out, that there could have been something you missed. That you've killed someone who wasn't meant to die, That you've killed your friend, and he's never coming back. That you'll never get to talk to him again, or have lunch with him… or fight side by side in battle. We never got to… I never spent the night, I was afraid, and I wasn't ready, and I thought we'd have so many more chances to be with each other, and…"

Takumi glanced over at Yugamu. For the first time since they were stuck down here, Takumi saw Yugamu cry as well. It wasn't a sight he'd witnessed before. He'd unlocked something very vulnerable within him. Takumi scooted himself over, and let their heads touch softly. 

"I don't want to die hating you, Takumi."

The implications weighed heavily on Takumi's heart. He closed his eyes. 

"If it means we'll get rescued together, I'm okay risking it. Just a little bit longer, I know they're coming."

The sky became lighter. Still overcast.

How many days had it been? Takumi couldn't figure it out. All he could do was pray that the rescue team was already en route. They just had to wait this one out. 

And so they waited…

"Takumi…"

Yugamu's voice was strained, a rasp that Takumi could attribute to the dust and dirt in the air, or the way the rock was compressing his chest. Yet there was a deeper, more depressing and raw emotion buried within it. It was a feeling of hopelessness, a sadness so visceral that Takumi's eyes teared up before Yugamu could even finish his sentence. 

"No." Takumi's voice quivered. He knew what Yugamu was going to ask. He knew Yugamu needed him. 

But he also knew he couldn't do it. 

"Please," Yugamu breathed out. "I don't know how much longer I can take. Every breath… Hurts."

Takumi shut his eyes, the sound of Yugamu's labored breathing was all he could hear. 

He cried heavy tears.

"Takumi… It's okay… After I pass, the rescue team will find you and bring you back eventually," said Yugamu. "You'll be safe."

"I want us both to be safe."

"Takumi…"

"They're going to find us, and they're going to remove the rubble, and we'll make it back to the academy and everything will be fine. Sirei will scold us for being gone so long and wasting everyone's time, and we'll apologize and laugh it off. He'll give us extra chores to do after we recover…"

For the first time in a while, Yugamu didn't fight him.

"Sounds nice…" Yugamu replied. "I'd like a nice massage. Something to really loosen up all the tension in my shoulders."

"Hey!" Takumi exclaimed. Yugamu laughed at his morbid joke, which quickly turned into wheezing. Takumi grimaced. 

"What, like a nice stretch of the legs wouldn't help you right now?" asked Yugamu. 

"I guess so."

"You know… I suppose this was romantic… in a twisted way," Yugamu breathed out. "He loved me… so much… he…"

"He?" Asked Takumi. He waited for Yugamu to catch his breath. But in the silence, where Takumi normally heard a painful, raspy breath, he heard nothing. "Yugamu?"

It was a question he already knew the answer for. Takumi pressed his fingers onto Yugamu's pulse, unsure of where it was on his wrist. It was impossible to find. He knew exactly why. 

Takumi was silent. He dropped Yugamu's hand. The weight of the world came crashing down onto him, and he started bawling.

He died feeling loved. Takumi didn't even bother wiping the tears from his cheeks. His eyes burned. His head hurt, and his leg hurt, and his chest felt like it was crushed into a million pieces. But no matter how much pain he was in, it was nothing compared to what he had done to Yugamu. 

It was torture, plain and simple. Yugamu knew it, and even Takumi knew it deep down. He couldn't stop himself from becoming sick, the bile forcing itself up his throat and through his nose. It burned, it burned so much. He gagged and coughed and tried to wipe as much off his face as he could. 

They were supposed to be saved. Now that they weren't… There was no point to any of it. All of his pain and suffering was brought on to him by Takumi's misguided delusion of a rescue. 

Takumi wasn't trying to be malicious. He didn't hate Yugamu. He loved him, too much, even. Yet if he loved him less, would he have agreed to release him? To let him go, peacefully, in one swift motion?

Or perhaps he didn't love him enough. 

It should have been him who died. He was the one who hadn't been paying attention when the tremors hit the building. He hadn't gotten enough sleep, he hadn't been alert, and Yugamu had to run into the room to warn him. He cared for Takumi so much that he lost his life over it.

He could join him. Takumi glanced over at his glistening blade, the allure stronger than it had ever been. One well placed strike to his chest would do, or perhaps a drawn out slice to his abdomen, so it could be long and drawn out how Yugamu's was.

In the end, he picked neither, lacking the strength to hold up his sword. It wouldn't be fair to Yugamu to take the easy way out, since Takumi never granted it to him. No, his death had to mean something. He'd die the same way Yugamu did, waiting for it to swoop down and claim him. 

Takumi felt petrified. Time kept moving around him. Rocks would tumble down from above, and he would wish nothing more than to get hit. He wasn't sure what time it was. He wasn't even sure what day it was. Everything had felt the same since he died. He hadn't eaten and hadn't drank anything. What was the use? To say he wanted to die would be incorrect, but so would wanting to live. Everything was just numb. 

And then the silence was broken, a voice from above shouting out with enough surprise and glee to make him crane his neck upwards. He felt rusty, as if moving too fast would cause his head to snap clean off.

"Takumi? Takumi!!!" 

It was Moko. And by the look on her face, she had noticed that Takumi was alive. She didn't take her eyes off him, waving her hands in a beckoning motion for the others to join her. 

Nozomi popped up second, leaning so far over the edge on her hands and knees that she almost fell into the rubble as well.

"I can't believe we found you without a distress signal!" She exclaimed. Takumi was silent. 

"Yeah, how lucky is that?!" Added Moko. 

Luck… If only he had some of that earlier…

"Oh I'm so glad you're alive! Are you h-" Nozomi's relief was replaced with dread as she inevitably saw Takumi's compound fracture bursting through his flesh. She gripped on to Moko, tightly. 

Takumi was silent. He leaned against the rubble, and continued to hold Yugamu's hand. He didn't remember the last time he got up from this spot. It was probably to drag his bag closer. But it was all for nothing. He didn't feel like eating. All the fruit was rotten, anyway. 

"Hang on, Takumi, we're gonna find a safe path down!" Moko shouted. Takumi's eyes glazed over as he stared at the sky. Moko and Nozomi left his vision. The clouds had disappeared. The sun was bright, and burned his eyes. When he finally blinked, he could still see the negative value seared onto his vision.

And then he saw Hiruko. She seemed less surprised than the other two, as always. Her cold demeanor was difficult to decode, but Takumi knew she cared, in her own ways.

Moko helped Nozomi down the pile of rubble, and the two of them approached Takumi cautiously, making sure not to twist their ankles on the uneven rubble.

"Whoa, that's a nasty break. But you're handling it like a champ! Well the good thing is, when bones break, they always heal back stronger," said Moko. She squatted down next to Takumi. "We'll get you home, then you'll be good as new." 

Takumi didn't bother looking her in the face. Sure, he'd get to go home, but… 

"…It should have been me."

"Huh?" asked Nozomi. She bent down to pick up Takumi's backpack. She smiled, then looked up. She immediately dropped it. "No."

Moko looked over to see what Nozomi had noticed. Her face paled. 

"Yugamu!" Moko cried out. Takumi felt numb. He felt sick watching the two of them react to their friend's death. It didn't have to be like this… If only they had been found sooner, if only he had been more competent, if only Yugamu would have actually tried to escape, instead of just accepting fate. 

But Takumi knew his fate was sealed the moment he was pinned. Only now, in the aftermath, had he realized it. Yugamu… he was cursed with knowing before.

"Yugamu didn't make it?" Hiruko called out. She slipped down some of the rubble and stuck the landing. She had a somber expression on her face. "We were too late."

Yeah, no shit. 

Takumi wanted to scream at her. What took everyone so long? How long had it even been? 

But there was no proof that even if they had shown up earlier, that things would have changed.

No, they would have been saved. Takumi was almost certain of it.

Nozomi sobbed into Moko's arms. It made Takumi feel even worse. He had already cried for days, but he was too dehydrated to even form a single tear. It made him feel soulless. He could cry a river, or even a sea, and it wouldn't be enough. 

He finally spoke up. 

"Moko… Can you lift the rock off his body?" asked Takumi. Moko wiped her eyes, then gazed back at him. 

"Sure… it would be good to give him a proper burial, wouldn't it," said Moko. Takumi nodded his head solemnly. He held his breath. He could feel his heart drop as Moko braced herself to lift the rubble off Yugamu. 

If only he had been strong enough, for Yugamu. Then he'd still be alive. 

He was completely and utterly worthless.

Yugamu's death was his fault. There was no way around it. 

"No," said Hiruko. She positioned herself between Yugamu's body, and Moko. "It's too risky. We need to exit before we cause another structural collapse. Just leave him."

"No!" Takumi shrieked. "We can't leave him!"

"Takumi, he's dead. We have to go," snapped Hiruko. He felt himself being lifted by his shoulders from behind, squirming and kicking with the very little energy he still had left. His leg was on fire, the feeling of the bone pulling on the muscles and tendons made him want to vomit. 

"We have to save him! Moko… Moko please! He's your friend! I have to know… Please. Please, Moko. Don't abandon him. I can't… I…" His throat was raw, his voice felt like it was breaking right through his vocal chords. 

Moko's face was haunting. She looked at Takumi in pure terror at the realization of what he had been asking her to do. She instead came up to Takumi, and ran her fingers through his hair. 

"Set him down, Hiruko. We should probably set his leg. Nozomi, do you have the first aid kit?" Moko asked. Nozomi nodded, and took off her back pack. She rooted around for the tools to make a splint with. 

Takumi looked between both of them, and then up at Hiruko who was still holding his shoulders back so he couldn't do much. 

"Takumi, it wasn't your fault," said Hiruko, sternly. Takumi winced as Nozomi started wrapping his leg. Every time he saw the white of his bone, a chill went down his spine. He tried not to look at it. 

"You don't know that. You weren't here-"

"You're right. I don't know what happened. But I know you, Takumi, and I know you did everything you could have done. I'm sure he was thankful to have a friend like you in the end."

The girls continued talking and reassuring him that everything would be fine, but Takumi had long since stopped paying attention. 

Yugamu probably hated him. His last moments were torturous, barely able to breathe as his body finally gave up. The search party was nowhere near finding them, it would have been better just to put him out of his misery. A real friend would have respected his wishes. 

He was so unbelievably selfish.