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The lever is jostled by accident, causing part of the large metal compactor at the back of the garbage truck to slam down on Kenzaki's hand with a resounding thud. Kenzaki winces at the impact and Kenzaki's co-worker, a middle-aged man named Yamamoto, immediately asks him if he's alright. The blow should have shattered his left hand, but all Kenzaki feels is numbness under his work gloves.
Kenzaki catches Yamamoto's anxious expression and smiles to relieve him of his worry. He pulls his hand out by sliding it against the garbage at the bottom of the truck. "It's fine," he says, and when Yamamoto tries to inspect the damage, Kenzaki makes a show of wiggling his fingers and grinning.
It isn't until he gets back to his flat that Kenzaki takes off his gloves. His hand is in one piece, but a large bruise has formed on the back of his hand. The skin by his third knuckle is ripped open and when Kenzaki holds the wound up to the light, he sees green blood trickle down to his wrist.
Kenzaki stares at it, long and hard, reminding himself of everything he's fought for -- of everything he's still fighting for. He takes a deep breath and then searches for his first-aid kit.
He has no regrets.
*
During her first year at Waseda, Amane reads the bestseller "Blade" for the first time. It was released when she was sixteen by someone named Terunosuke Takezai. She picked up the book because it's one of the most popular theories regarding the unexplained events she remembers from her youth. The government never released an official statement, and all the other theories she has come across have spoken of secret government projects or aliens. "Blade", on the other hand, is about the relationships between people and about Kamen Riders. It is about one Kamen Rider in particular -- someone the author calls "Tsubaki".
Amane remembers a Kamen Rider named Kenzaki who used to hang out with Kotaro when all those strange things were happening. After the danger was over, Kenzaki disappeared and Kotaro told her that Kenzaki went abroad. She was angry that Kenzaki had never said goodbye, and she still remembers that Kenzaki owes her a birthday present.
It's because she has memories of Kenzaki that Amane keeps reading "Blade" past the first chapter. At first, the characters in the story are unfamiliar to her, but Amane is not stupid. When she gets to the chapter in which a young "boy" related to a second Kamen Rider is kidnapped, she makes the connection and the book falls from her hands.
When she's able to pick it up again, her fingers tremble as she looks at the front of the book for the publishing information. Sure enough, it's published by Ace Press -- the same small publishing firm that handled Kotaro's set of children stories released the same year as "Blade".
Amane finds herself consumed by a whirlwind of emotions -- confusion, fear and mostly anger -- a deep irrational anger that fills her from her head to her toes. She's on the verge of storming out of her dorm when there's a knock on the door. She checks the time knows exactly who it is.
As Hajime tries the doorknob, Amane fumbles with the book and shoves it under her pillow. "Amane," Hajime calls from the doorway, and her anger ebbs when Hajime smiles at her. "Are you ready?" he asks, referring to the date they had planned.
Amane doesn't want to think about anything anymore so she impulsively runs towards him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding him close and feeling his warmth against her skin. "Amane?" he asks, but she doesn't want to answer. She silences his questions with a kiss.
*
Amane finishes reading "Blade" at 11am the next morning. She hasn't eaten or slept since the day before, and she missed her morning class, but these are the furthest things from her mind. She never could have predicted what the last chapter of the book would do to her.
She wipes at her tears with rash, awkward swipes of her hand and when she finds her voice, she mumbles, "Stupid Kenzaki."
*
Tachibana doesn't particularly like studying the ancient Battle Fight, but it's something that he has a passion for. He thinks: "If I can understand it, I can save Kenzaki."
He allows this goal to consume him. He works late, wakes up early, and never takes a day off. Although he knows that he's using this job as a distraction, he feels that has to do something.
Tachibana works under Chief Kurasuma for six months before Kurasama takes him aside and orders him to stop.
"But I'm getting close," Tachibana protests. "I know I am. Just give me more time."
Kurasama sighs and raises a hand to massage his temples. "Tachibana," he says, his voice wary but firm. Kurasama, Taichibana knows, has worked on this research for most of his life, and he believes that it's a lost cause. "Give it a rest."
Tachibana stubbornly thinks about something Kenzaki once told him -- that fate can be defied. He steadies his resolve and clenches his fists as he argues, "I can save him!"
In a rare show of affection, Kurasama puts his hand on Tachibana's shoulder and squeezes it gently. He asks Tachibana: "Have you ever considered that Kenzaki doesn't want to be saved?"
*
An hour before Kenzaki skips town to find a new job in a new city, he uses a payphone to call Kotaro.
The phone rings five times before someone picks up. Hirose says, "Hello," and Kenzaki almost hangs up before saying anything at all.
"Hello?" she asks again, and the familiar annoyance that creeps into her voice makes him relax.
"Hirose-san," he says, letting the name tumble past his lips.
He is met with silence on the other end until he hears Kotaro in the background ask her who's on the line. "Kenzaki... kun?" she asks, and he can imagine the look on her face. He wishes he never called.
Unexpectedly, the phone is grabbed by Kotaro. "Kenzaki?" he asks, his voice full of surprise, excitement and hope. "Is it really you? Where are you right now?"
Kenzaki doesn't answer. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the top of the payphone. "How have you been?" he asks instead.
"Good," Kotaro answers, and Kenzaki can tell by the way Kotaro is breathing that he's crying. "Everyone's good."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"Hirose-san is here. There- there was a party today, and Hirose-san came over afterwards. Amane finished her first year at Waseda."
The last time Kenzaki saw Amane, she was twelve. It's hard for him to imagine her in university. A bittersweet smile spreads across his lips.
Kotaro asks him, "How are you? What have you been up to?"
Kenzaki wants to answer. He has a thousand things he wants to say, but he knows he shouldn't. After all, he shouldn't be talking to them at all. He tries not to cry when he says, "Send Hirose-san my best, and... take care of yourself, Kotaro."
He hangs up, ending the conversation with a click.
*
Sometimes Hajime senses Kenzaki's loneliness across the distance that separates them. The feeling never lasts long, but it's the only information that Hajime has ever receives regarding Kenzaki's well-being. Although the faint link between them is a reminder to Hajime of the monster deep inside him yearning to fight, it's an even stronger reminder of the reason he works so hard to suppress it.
*
Hirose traces Kenzaki's call to a payphone in Aomori. She and Kotaro are on a train at the crack of dawn the next morning.
Hirose has imagined reuniting with Kenzaki a thousand times. She often wonders where he is and what he is doing. When she walks down the street, she sees him in the people she passes by and prays that one day they'll bump into each other. She hopes that when that day comes, he won't turn and run.
She and Kotaro have to be careful. They can't use the same tactic they used to find the Category King. Kenzaki has to be an anonymous face in the crowd, and even if they find him, no one else can ever know.
They search the area around the payphone for any evidence of his presence and turn up nothing. Kotaro shows people at nearby apartment complexes a drawing he has made of Kenzaki, but no one recognizes his face. On their way back to the train station, disheartened and desperate, Kotaro tries asking a random passerby.
The man grabs the drawing out Kotaro's hand to get a better look, and then smiles fondly at the image. "He's a good kid," he tells them. "After I was evicted, he really helped me out. Is he a friend of yours?" Hirose presses him for more information, and they hear a tale about a nameless lad with a calming smile who stood up against the injustices he encountered.
They don't learn anything they didn't already know, and they don't learn where Kenzaki is, but they feel closer to him than they have in a long time.
*
Kotaro stays in Aomori hoping to catch a glimpse of Kenzaki. He rents a flat within walking distance of the payphone and he forgets about his upcoming deadlines as he puts his research skills to use searching tax records and employment information. Kenzaki doesn't exist in any of the government documentation he scans through, but Kotaro eventually finds the apartment building that Kenzaki lived in six months prior and learns that Kenzaki worked as a garbage collector.
Three months later, Kotaro returns to Tokyo just in time for Amane's twentieth birthday party. When he tells her that he was away because he was working on his next book, she kicks him in the shin and informs him that she thinks he's a lousy writer.
*
Sometimes, when he's lying awake at night, Mutsuki listens for the voices of the Undead who used to speak to him when he was a Rider. He hasn't heard them for years, but he still isn't use to the quiet.
He often thinks of Tachibana, Hajime and Kenzaki. He wonders where Kenzaki is now, what he's doing, and if he's happy. He knows that he has never had the courage to make a sacrifice like Kenzaki did, and when he thinks about Kenzaki's strength, he feels uncomfortable and inadequate.
One night he dreams of a green field that stretches endlessly before him. He sees a man knelling on the ground, examining a long blade of grass. Mutsuki recognizes him.
"Shima-san," Mutsuki says, surprised.
Shima nods to him in greeting. "Hello, again."
Mutsuki wants to ask him what it's like to be sealed -- if he can talk to the other Undead or if he is hibernating until the next fight. He wants to ask about the incomplete Battle Fight and what it means for them. He wants to ask about Kenzaki.
Shima motions for Mutsuki to take a seat next to him, and Mutsuki's questions dry up on his lips as he drops to his knees.
Shima holds the blade of grass so Mutsuki can get a better look at it. "Life is precious," Shima tells him. "Even if in the grand scheme of things a single life lasts no more than a blink of an eye, it's precious."
"The Battle Fight--" Mutsuki starts.
"Doesn't matter," Shima tells him. "Not for you right now, in any case."
Mutsuki nods, even though he has yet to fully digest Shima's words.
"I miss you," Mutsuki admits, and Shima smiles at him. He gently pats Mutsuki on the knee twice and stands.
"You've come a long way," Shima says. He's backlit by the sun and the edges of his face look like they're glowing. As he holds out a hand to Mutsuki to help him to his feet, he says, "I'm proud of you."
*
Mutsuki visits Tachibana to tell him about the dream. He finds Tachibana at work, lying on his back to reach the underside of the motorcycle he is repairing. Mutsuki stops to watch him and thinks that it's good that Tachibana has finally found something to do with his life.
Because of the way he behaved while controlled by the Category Ace, and because of the whole saving-the-world thing, Mutsuki missed most of his final year of high school and performed poorly on his university entrance exams. After he graduated, he got his old job back at the local supermarket. More recently, he's been working odd-jobs while Nozomi finishes her master's degree, and although Mutsuki is not unhappy with his life, he wishes he had Tachibana's passion for things.
Tachibana notices him and stands. He wipes his hands on the thighs of his pants, before he reaches out to take Mutsuki's hand, pulling him in for a half a hug. They sit down on a wooden bench that runs along one side of the garage and Tachibana hands him a drink before asking him what's on his mind.
Mutsuki tells Tachibana about the dream -- about a beautiful green field and the way Shima's words made him feel at peace. Then he admits to Tachibana that he thinks about Kenzaki a lot and that he has no idea what to do with his life.
Tachibana listens patiently, and when Mutsuki finishes speaking, Tachibana confesses that he thinks about Kenzaki too. He tells Mutsuki about the work he tried to do under Kurasuma. The right side of Tachibana's mouth curves upwards when he divulges that he has no idea what to do with his life either.
Two weeks later, Mutsuki receives a call from Tachibana. The auto body shop he works for is hiring and he wants to know if Mutsuki is interested.
*
Haruka has always known that there was something that connected Hajime to her late husband. Hajime appeared at their door only two weeks after she learned of his passing, and it was something about this sensed connection that convinced her to say "yes" when he asked for a room.
Hajime hasn't aged, but he looks different than he did that day. He smiles more, he's more open, and he practically lives for her and Amane. Haruka considers Hajime to be a member of her family, but there's a lot about him she doesn't know and that worries her when she considers his intimate relationship with Amane.
This worry only turns into panic when she's checking something in Hajime's room and finds her husband's favorite photo -- the one he never parted with -- under a book on Hajime's desk. She spent days going through every inch of the restaurant looking for it after it wasn't found on his body, and the notion that Hajime has had it fills her with a sense of foreboding. Part of her wants to confront Hajime and demand an explanation, while another part of her wants to pretend that Hajime must have found it in the room after he moved in.
Haruka ends up calling Rei Kamioka, one of her husband's co-workers and greatest friends, to ask about the photo. She hasn't spoken to Rei since she inquired about a job opening for Hajime, so she is surprised when Rei tells her that she'll come by in the afternoon.
Over tea, Haruka asks Rei if there was any way that her husband met Hajime before he died. There's a panic in her voice she's not used to and it must be obvious because Rei's eyes go wide.
"Did something happen?" she asks.
"No," Haruka replies. "Not exactly." Wordlessly, she hands Rei the photo, knowing Rei will understand its significance. "I found this with Hajime's belongings."
"I don't know," Rei says, pausing a moment to think. "They might have." Haruka wants to ask when they could have met when Rei asks her, "Does it matter?"
Haruka is taken aback by the question and it takes her a moment to realize what Rei is implying. Haruka trusts Rei, so she thinks about Hajime -- the way he helps her out at the restaurant, the way he makes Amane grin from ear-to-ear, and the numerous times he's saved their lives. "I suppose not," she replies quietly.
Silently, Rei nods in agreement and hands Haruka back the photo. "Then you have nothing to worry about," she says.
As Haruka stares down at the photo of herself, her late husband and Amane, Haruka knows that there are secrets being kept from her, and that Rei is probably in on them. But she also knows that Hajime would never do anything to endanger her or Amane, and that, she supposes, is enough.
*
Every year on October 18th, Tachibana calls in sick to work. This year is no exception.
He goes out for lunch at a restaurant in Shinbashi -- the restaurant he used to dine at with Sayoko. After she died, it took him eight months before he found the courage to eat there again. Now eating there conjures within him happy memories of what seems like another lifetime. Their favorite table was on the patio, but the patio is closed for the season, so Tachibana sits inside by the front window.
After lunch, he walks to a nearby market and buys a dozen white lilies. He stands over Sayoko's grave with them in his hands and thinks: "We could have been married." In his mind's eye, he can still see her smiling at him.
He crouches on the ground as he places the flowers on the cool black stone. Looking up at the sky, he closes his eyes against the sting of tears as he whispers, "I'm sorry, Sayoko," and tells her, "I'll always love you."
*
It happens on a Friday night after Kotaro leaves a restaurant. Kotaro walks a block in the direction of the motel he's staying in when he catches a glimpse of a familiar profile on the other side of the road. Kotaro knows that it's late and that he is probably seeing things, but that doesn't stop him from looking for an opportunity to cross the street to get a better look at the person just to make sure.
The man he ends up tailing has choppy black hair and is wearing a white t-shirt over jeans. In his hands he carries plastic convenience store bags. Kotaro notes that he's approximately the right height and build.
Kotaro feels a rush of adrenaline when the man turns out of sight down a residential road. It's desperation that fuels Kotaro when he breaks into a run in order to catch up with him. He sighs in relief when he spots the man up ahead.
Kotaro hopes against hope that he is right when he calls out, "Kenzaki!"
The man pauses. He looks back over his left shoulder.
Kotaro's breath catches in his throat. It's Kenzaki. His haircut frames his face differently, but Kotaro hasn't been surer of anything in his life. He rushes forward and throws his arms around him before he can gauge Kenzaki's reaction.
Kotaro can't contain himself and begins to laugh and cry at the same time. "Kenzaki," he says, his face buried against Kenzaki's shoulder. "I found you." He doesn't quite believe it, so he repeats himself, slower this time. "I found you."
"Kotaro," Kenzaki says, surprised.
Kenzaki is tense against him, but when Kotaro confesses, "I missed you", the convenience store bags hit the ground, and Kotaro feels two warm arms circle around his back and hold him close.
*
Hajime is putting away detergent in the cupboard under the sink when the surprisingly sharp raw edge of a metal pipe slices his hand. If he was human, it would have cut through to the bone, but instead it barely punctures his skin, leaving a thin green line. He is surprised he is bleeding at all when he considers that he has battled Undead without so much as a scratch.
He hears Amane come up behind him and makes a fist, hiding the wound from view.
"What is it?" she asks, eyeing his hand curiously.
"Nothing," he replies, and forces a smile. He moves to close the cupboard when she grabs his wrist. Along the edge of his palm, where his fingers don't reach, is a faint green smear. He quickly pulls his hand out of her grip.
"But you're bleeding," she protests and Hajime freezes.
Slowly, he turns to face her. She purses her lips together and gingerly picks up his hand. She pulls back his fingers and takes a good hard look at the green smudge on his palm. Hajime wonders why he's letting her do this.
He watches her curiously as she takes out her first-aid kit and begins meticulously cleaning the wound as if it belonged to a human. She doesn't bat an eye at his green blood. He wonders how much she knows and how she could have possibly learned the truth.
When she's done, she startles him by encircling his wrist with her fingers and raising his hand into the air between them. "Amane," he starts, but she cuts him off.
"You're Aikawa Hajime," she tells him, seriously. He eyes her for a long moment, and she meets his gaze with her own determined one. Then she brings their foreheads together and smiles. "You're Aikawa Hajime, and that's all that matters."
*
Hirose spends her Friday night looking over security reports from work as she eats a microwaved dinner. Kotaro has disappeared again, out somewhere searching for Kenzaki, and she misses his home cooked meals. As the hours tick by, she admits to herself that she misses Kotaro too. As annoying as he is, he's one of two people she considers a close friend. She doesn't think that it's fair that Kotaro has run off, especially when she misses Kenzaki as much as he does.
She tries calling Kotaro's cell phone, and for the third time that night, he doesn't pick up. A call the following morning lends the same results. When he fails to pick up two more times, it worries her more than it angers her.
On Saturday night, Kotaro sends her a text message asking her to come to an address in Shizuoka. Although she knows it's probably one of his ridiculous leads, she looks at the clock, gets her stuff together and hops on the last train.
It's well after midnight when she finds herself standing outside a ratty looking apartment complex. She's tempted to break down the door to give Kotaro a piece of her mind for making her worry and dragging her out here so late, but instead she knocks twice and waits patiently for Kotaro to let her in.
When the door opens and Hirose gets a look at who's standing in front of her, her eyes go wide and she automatically takes two steps backwards. "Kenzaki," she whispers, not believing her own eyes until Kotaro pops up over Kenzaki's shoulder and grins at her. In shock, she covers her mouth with both of her hands.
Hirose has imagined reuniting with Kenzaki a thousand times, but not once did she imagine Kenzaki pulling her into a hug, and not once did she imagine the way she breaks down when he murmurs "Hirose-san" against her ear.