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November 18th 1998.
A crowd filled the Wheeler house. Dull jazz played in the background while the people conversed. Mike sat alone on the stairs watching things play out. His mom was on her 3rd glass of wine in the living room, trying to get his dad to dance with her- to no avail. Holly joked with her new boyfriend she brought from college. Old friends from their small town met new friends from college and various places.
One old friend was missing though. Not just missing from the party, but separated from Mike's life almost entirely. The famous artist. Touring in Europe to sell his pieces was his excuse to miss Mike’s wedding. Mike thought back on the last time they had talked. He had called Will to wish him a happy birthday, back in March. They caught up a little bit, he learned about Will’s new boyfriend and how the last one had been using him for his semi-fame. Mike couldn’t stay on the phone with Will for long before he started feeling a nausea he couldn’t place.
He never once mentioned his relationship status.
He wanted to hear from Will so much. All he could think about was Will’s life, away from Hawkins, free. He should be happy to hear from his friend about his life. He should be excited to hear updates on relationships, the ups and downs of the life of an artist. Instead he just felt anger. And dread. And nausea.
Will was too busy having an awesome life to go to his “best friends” wedding. . Mike fiddled with the ring on his finger. Lucas came up to him and sat on the stairs
“Look at this ring! Mike Wheeler tied the knot. Who would’ve believed it?” Lucas started.
“Yeah yeah,” Mike took a big sip of his drink with a blink. He was in disbelief too. Looking at the ring he frowned.
“What’s wrong man? You don’t seem like a man who just got married,” Lucas asked lightheartedly.
Mike couldn’t name it. Well, maybe he could, but he didn’t want to.
Kimberly was a great woman. Perfect to marry. She cooked, she cleaned, she was creative and helped him with stories.
They dated for a year or two, until he started getting looks from his family members that asked, “When are you gonna make her your wife?” and “what’s taking so long?”. Mike had to marry her. Deep in his mind, he could feel an ache within him, like he was digging his own grave every step closer he got to this marriage.
Now that it was here, Mike was buried alive, no chance of escaping.
“It’s nothing man I’m just a little tired is all,” Mike told Lucas, trying to make the impending doom he felt within seem less bad to the onlooker.
He took another sip of his drink. Lucas slowly walked back to Max, who had been talking to Kim. Lucas and Max seemed to set the standard. A perfect relationship. Mike was sure Kim looked up to Max’s relationship. It was picture perfect. Kim and Max were probably over there complaining about Mike, talking about how bad a boyfriend- no, husband he must be.
He had tried to engage in coupley things with Kim. He took her ice skating in the winter, to picnics in spring. He kissed her, he… pleasured her. He did this all without thinking, without relishing the moments. She could ask him if he remembered their first kiss, but for Mike--all of those “sentimental” moments faded a second after they occurred.
The one memory he distinctly remembered having with her was their second date. She had gotten a haircut. A short one. Too short for Mike to ignore. His mind wandered back to another with short brown hair. That night after they kissed he whispered Will’s name, ever so quietly. She didn’t hear, and he said it so quietly Mike would try to convince himself it never happened. But it never left his mind.
Mike overheard Kimberly laughing about their most recent picnic or bowling date, and saying something about how he did something funny and she did something funnier. He wondered if he would remember their wedding like she did. At this rate, with the immense amount of alcohol he was drinking, he probably wouldn’t remember a thing. He didn’t care.
He had to turn off the tense feeling he had felt the whole day. From the moment he stepped onto the altar till his first drink of the night, Mike had a pit in his stomach. He couldn’t shake the fact that one of his oldest, best friends would miss the “best” day of his life. Throughout the day he cursed his old friend for not being there, for being off across the sea, probably not thinking of Mike once.
How could Will plague his mind on a day such as this?
Mike walked to the kitchen to make himself another drink. The world spun a little bit, but he ignored it. He opened the cabinet to get the whiskey bottle out.
“That should probably be your last drink, Mike,” Holly remarked as he placed the bottle on the counter. His head snapped towards her in his haze.
“What do you care? Go kiss your boyfriend or something,” Mike snapped. He opened the bottle of whiskey.
“Stop being so rude, Mike.” He started to tune her out. She could never comprehend his need for the whiskey, so why indulge her with petty fighting? He took a glass from a different cabinet and set it on the table.
“Let him be, it’s his wedding day,” Nancy told Holly.
He started to pour his drink and pretended not to hear Holly badmouthing him, like everyone else probably was too.
“So that's an excuse to let him treat everyone like shit? He’s piss drunk and it’s like 7:30pm!” Mike fumbled the top of the bottle and it bounced a bunch on the counter, making him let out a chuckle. He reached for it and laid down on the counter for a second, just letting loose, “You know what Nancy you’re right. It is his wedding day. His poor wife is standing over there trying to apologize for his absolutely horrid behavior when they should be dancing together and being happy,”
Mike looked at Kim, and realized she was looking right back at him. What the fuck did she want now?
He rolled his eyes and poured the whiskey into his glass. He poured it, and poured. He zoned out on the drink. Liquids had an interesting way about them. They could go wherever they wanted. The whiskey sloshed in the drink as Mike poured more and more in.
He poured past a finger, two fingers, three. Half of the glass was just whiskey. He only stopped pouring because he realized he forgot ice. As he turned to get ice from the freezer, his hand managed to push the glass over, shattering the glass and getting whiskey all over the floor. The din of the glass breaking was enough to alert most of the people at the reception. Heads all turned to look at Mike.
“Oops.” He burst into laughter, but no one else laughed. Holly looked at him with a fire in her eyes. He didn’t care, his laughter continued. He was so foolish to push the glass like that. The glass looked so shiny on the floor. He started to pick up the shards with his hands when his wife appeared near him.
“Mike stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” He ignored her, and just focused on cleaning up the funny mess he had made. He tossed the glass into the recycling bin contently when suddenly a shout reached his ears, “Mike just stop okay! You are such an asshole!”
“What? That’s unfair,” Mike blurted out as he continued to pick up the broken glass.
“God, you’re so selfish! You barely looked at me this whole day, and now you’re getting practically blackout drunk like this on our wedding day?! You need to compose yourself.” Kim said in a hushed voice, bending down to speak to Mike so others wouldn’t hear.
“No thanks,” He laughed at his own joke when he was swiftly hit with a slap in his face.
“Okay, what do you want me to say?” Mike started to respond, not realizing his volume was starting to rise, “Life’s a bitch. You ‘‘fall in love’, get married and die. Look at my parents-they don’t love each other! They’re just together because they have to be. If you keep searching for some picture perfect life you won’t find it here-”
Mike felt himself being dragged upstairs almost immediately, and with a lot of force. His old bedroom door was opened, and he apprehensively walked in. Nancy followed in behind him.
He sat on the bed, his face hot with anger and drunkenness. He scowled as he moved further onto the bed. He was just slapped in the face, by someone who supposedly loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. If acting the way he did tonight convinced her to leave him, he would hope to get infinitely drunk and drop millions of whiskey glasses. Nancy sat at his desk. He leaned back on the headboard and waited for a rage of anger from her. Instead, she spoke softly,
“What’s going on with you Mike?” Mike took a breath, and put his head in his knees. Not this talk. Not on his wedding day. This marriage should’ve gotten people off his back. He thought if Kimberly loved him enough, and everyone saw it, the other lingering face in his mind would fade away.
“You seem so…. sad lately.”
He closed his eyes, trying not to let the world come down around him. He knew she would keep pushing him, so he had to stop her.
“Nancy I’m fine-okay? M-Just having post-wedding jitters. Maybe you shouldn’t have let me get this drunk,” Mike kept his head within his knees, staying avoidant.
“Is it because he missed your wedding?”
Mike froze in shock. Air left his lungs faster than he could contain. He slowly raised his head up to see a look of understanding on Nancy's face. Mike furrowed his brows, a lump formed in his throat. He couldn't articulate to Nancy what exactly he felt. He was either too drunk, or too scared. Either way, he stayed quiet.
Silence filled the room. Mike could feel Nancy's eyes on him. His mouth offered no explanation. He physically couldn’t give one. Every bone in his body told him to shut up; to follow the status quo- get a wife, have children, live like your parents did. This ache he had to break free was overpowered by the intense pressure he felt to just be normal.
“It’s really a shame you two don’t keep in touch.”
Mike shut his eyes tight as he stayed quiet, he felt a headache forming,
“Do you remember that one day you and he had a playdate, and you two made those cute little fake rings? You paraded around the house with them until dad told you to put them away?” Nancy said fully turning her body towards him.
Mike thought back to his childhood. His childhood with Will. They had playdates all the time; how was he supposed to remember one out of hundreds?
He sighed, “No.. I don’t.”
“I guess you were too young to remember,” she responded.
March 19th 1977
Nancy was finishing up her homework at the kitchen counter, as she ate her lunch. She was upset that Mike got to have a playdate while she was stuck doing math. Her mom always made sure to make Nancy suffer while Mike had all the fun. She grumpily sat, working on her times tables. Quickly they both ran up to her.
“Nancy, can you make us the rings like you do with the dollars?” 6 year old Mike said, giggling with Will. Nancy turned in her chair to see both Will and Mike looking at her expectantly, with paper in their hands.
“Sure,” She took one paper and started folding it, “Why do you guys need them?”
“We’re getting married!” the little Will said, almost jumping with joy.
“To who?” She said as she completed the last few folds of the first ring, “Princess Leia?” She knew they liked Star Wars, those baby nerds.
“No Nancy!” Mike said, still giggling as she handed him his.
“Sorry sorry. Who is it then? Who are the lucky girls?” Nancy asked.
“No, I'm marrying Will!”
Nancy laughed. She looked at Will, and he had a giant smile on his face. Those kids are so silly, she thought. She finished the second ring and handed it to Will.
“Well there you go. Who proposed to whom then?” Nancy asked, intrigued at this little marriage idea.
“Uh we both agreed,” Mike said. He nodded at Will and Will nodded back. Nancy didn’t want to do her homework so she asked them more questions.
“Where’s the wedding gonna be?”
“Ummmm. At the beach.” Mike said, clearly not thinking much about it.
“Yeah!” Will agreed, “so we can swim after!” These two little six year olds had their lives pretty figured out, Nancy thought.
“That sounds fun. Who’s gonna take who’s last name?” She asked them.
“What?” The two looked confused. Nancy was 100% sure that today was the first day they learned what marriage was. She clarified, “Well like, you start with your own last names, but when you get married one person keeps the other’s last name,”
“Ohhh” They both remarked. Nancy caught a glimpse of Mike looking at his ring and smiling.
“So?”
The two boys mulled it over. Nancy heard them say each other's names with either last name. A small argument ensued, because Mike wanted to keep his, but Will thought that Will Wheeler sounded weird. Eventually they both decided on keeping Byers, because Mike could not convince Will to be Will Wheeler. Mike ran to his dad, who was sitting on the couch.
“Dad, I’m Mike Byers now!” He exclaimed. He danced around the room singing, “Mike Byers, Mike Byers, Mike Byers!”
Will soon joined him, and they jumped around together, giggling the whole way. Nancy thought of telling him to shut up but she decided to let them have their fun. Nancy’s dad told them to keep it down; so they settled back into the basement, probably playing some nerdy game together.
The entire next week, Mike was still wearing his ring. On the eighth day of wearing it, Nancy asked why he still had it on.
“Mom wears her ring from her and dad’s wedding right?” Mike responded, looking at his yellow paper ring with adoration.
“I guess,” Nancy left it there.
The next Monday at school Nancy was talking about the situation to Barb at lunchtime.
“So, Mike showed me this ring on his finger right? And get this- he says it’s from Will and that they’re married.”
“No way, really?” She said, tilting her head.
“Yes way. It was crazy. Those six year olds are so goofy sometimes,” She remarked when suddenly, Jonathan Byers passed by their lunch table. He had a concerned but curious look on his face.
Nancy barely knew Jonathan. She sat across from him in class, but otherwise she only saw him when their two families' paths crossed at certain get togethers. Jonathan was a pretty shy kid. He didn’t really have many hobbies. He seemed pretty protective of Will though.
One of the many reasons Nancy was worried when he asked if he could talk to her alone after the bustling in the cafeteria simmered down after lunch. Jonathan approached her with his faded brown book bag slung over his shoulder, and a slight warmth radiating off of him. It had to be about their brothers. Was Mike secretly bullying Will? Did they get in trouble? What could’ve happened?
“So, Will has been wearing his blue ring for almost a week and a half. My mom told him to take it off for a family photo and he had a fit.” Nancy smiled at the thought. “He says it’s from Mike, is it true?”
“Yeah, I folded the ring just last Saturday when they were hanging out at our place. Mike has one too,” She replied.
She was still in somewhat disbelief that this bit went on this long. It was cute, but she noticed it slowly catching her dads attention. The lingering looks and side eyes that their dad would give when Mike mentioned Will a little too much at the dinner table. Or when Mike would grasp onto Will’s hand when leading him to the basement. Those two were really attached at the hip. She wondered if it would stay this way.
“Will--he told me that they got married?” Jonathan asked, which made Nancy laugh.
“I heard the same thing!” She responded, “Mike keeps insisting he’s Mike Byers!”
“Yes! I heard Will say that, so I asked if he wanted Mike to be his brother or something, and he told me no and that they were married!” Jonathan laughed as he responded.
“Wow,” Nancy sighed,
“What should we do?” Jonathan asked her.
She thought about it for a second, but found nothing. Nancy tried to name a time she had ever done anything like that with any of her friends. She couldn’t think of one. What those two had was something different than any friendship Nancy had. Granted, Nancy had only really been best friends with Barb, but still. Ever since they met earlier that year, Mike was at his happiest whenever Will came over.
“I think we just let them,” Jonathan spoke, snapping Nancy out of her thoughts, “What’s the harm?” Nancy thought about this continuing.
Would other kids make fun of them? Are six year olds even conscious enough to bully?
“You know, I have an idea,” Nancy said.
November 18th 1998
“....So Jonathan and I begged our families to go on that trip to the Indiana Dunes so you two could reenact your wedding on the beach. We were gonna take pictures but Lonnie had broken Jonathan's camera, so we didn’t really have any documentation of it.” Nancy told Mike. He was now sitting up on his bed, intently listening to the story she had been telling.
“I remember mom was so mad that night because you got sand all over your dress clothes and you couldn’t wear them to the fancy dinner that night,” Mike laughed at the thought, while the memories slowly flooded his mind.
Memories and images of Will poured in without control. His heart began to beat slightly faster at the thought. Reminiscing about Will and their younger childhood memories was one thing, but thinking about Will and their eventual falling out made him sick to his stomach.
It could’ve been the alcohol as well but suddenly Mike had an overwhelming urge to puke up everything in him. He quickly jumped up from his seat on the bed, leaving Nancy with a confused look on her face due to the obvious and abrupt shift in Mike’s behavior.
“Nance- sorry I just have to-” he didn’t get to finish his thought as he hurriedly rushed out of his bedroom.
Mike trudged down the hall, quick but not fast enough for it to seem like he was running away. Which is exactly what he was doing. His dress shoes squeaked as they made their way across the shiny wooden panels. He could feel tears burn in his eyes, threatening to fall if something pushed him over the edge.
The bathroom door soon came into sight as Mike turned the doorknob with as much force as he could. The nausea seemed to subside as he hastily tried to take deep breaths and calm down his rapid breathing. The overhead light flickered on above him, lighting up the once dark room.
Mike thought of the anecdote Nancy shared with him. Truths that he buried so deep he forgot they existed. Him and Will when they were younger. Him and Will.
Will.
Mike fumbled in his pocket for his cellphone, hands shaking as he did so. The phone was new and Mike wasn’t too experienced in using it but he had one number memorized. The Nokia rang throughout the pristine looking bathroom.
What are you doing? Why are you doing this? This is so stupid. He won’t pick up-
“Hello?” a voice answered. A voice Mike knew all too well. Mike’s breath seemed to hitch as his stomach began to feel weaker and weaker.
Mike pinned the phone closer to his ear.
“Hi Will,” voice shaking, barely above a whisper.
“Mike?”
He stood still in the middle of the bathroom, soon slowly dropping down to sit on the ledge of the bathtub. Mike opened his mouth to say something - anything. He just couldn’t. There was a slight rummaging sound coming from the other end of the phone, silence following.
“Are you okay?” Will muttered into the phone. He sounded the same as he did all those years ago. Kind and soft spoken.
“I’m getting married today. I mean- I got married today.” A pause.
He picked at a hangnail, eager to pull it off until he bled. Mike’s quiet but heaving breaths filled the quiet space.
“Wow that’s- that’s amazing congratulations. Uh who is she-”
“Her name’s Kim. We met a while back at this party.” Mike wasn’t sure where he was going with this but words began to fall faster than his mind could catch them. “She- she has brown hair and green eyes. She’s pretty.” Mike mumbled, tripping over his words as the alcohol began to squeeze words out of his own mouth.
Mike heard a small sigh on the other line as Will’s voice trickled out “She seems great”
“Yeah. Yeah- she is.” His head felt heavy as he drooped over knees, holding his head in his sweaty palms. “Not like you though.”
Images of Will’s face flashed through Mike’s mind. He thought of his messy yet perfect brown hair, framing his face perfectly. He traced Will’s lightly freckled jaw, back up to his green eyes that swam with love and care.
“Mike, what are you-”
“I’m sorry” He blurted out, sorrow and distress seeping through his words, desperately trying to get to the surface.
“For what?”
“For not realizing it sooner. I- I wish I figured it out before- before I lost you.”
Mike wondered if Will could feel the years of longing and want through the phone.
“Mike stop- ”
“Please. Just listen to m-”
“You’re drunk, Mike“ Will spoke into the phone, voice full of grief. Or was it disappointment? He couldn’t really tell.
“N-no… no. this is the most sober i’ve been.” he takes a shallow shaky breath, waiting for Will to respond to his obvious lie. That response doesn’t come. “I’ve never known anything more, Will.”
“Why…” Will starts to say, “Why after all this time?”
Mike swallowed the huge lump in his throat. “Because I miss you.” Mike had mumbled the last word like it was a curse. “I miss- everything about you a-and everything that we had, Will.”
It was only now that Mike had realized he was crying. Warm, salty tears streamed down his face as his hands trembled, struggling to keep the phone in hand.
“What we had? Mike you’re making no sense right now-”
“Do remember when we were little,” he shut his eyes tightly, “and we- we got married.” He prayed that Will would remember, knowing if he didn’t he would probably sound crazy.
The lack of response followed with a small chuckle from Will indicated that he did in fact remember. “You mean that time when we forced Nancy to make us those paper rings?” Will asked softly. “I didn’t take that stupid thing off for a week,”
Mike let out a small laugh, smiling to himself in remembrance of the easier times. Times when Mike could hold Will in the dead of night without feeling waves of guilt and shame wash over him. Now, that seemed like a far away dream, something he knew was unattainable now.
Mike stayed silent, his head pounding from the numerous glasses of champagne he guzzled. His back was against the porcelain bathtub, eventually slumping so much sideways he was practically laying on the floor. He wondered where Will was right now. Maybe in his studio apartment in New York, sketching another one of his paintings before Mike had interrupted him. He remembered when Will’s sketchbook contained pages of portraits of Mike. His dark freckles always emphasized clearly along with his pink lips. He wondered if Will still drew him. Maybe when it was late at night and Mike’s face and defined cheekbones haunted Will like the plague.
The small voice broke Mike out of his thoughts. “Why do you ask?”
Mike pressed his forehead to the edge of the tub, eyes squeezed shut. “I wanted to make sure that-” Mike said, close to sobbing again, “that it was real for you too.”
Mike’s cheeks started to get more wet the more he opened his mouth and remembered. The more he chose to remember.
“Of course it was real Mike- I remember it all.” The voice spoke back slowly, carefully. Will’s voice seemed to hesitate before the static of his voice came through again, “at times I wish I didn’t.”
“What? Will, I-”
“Don’t-” A stifled sob seemed to stop Will from finishing his sentence. “Please.”
“I’m sorry I ruined it, I know I did and fuck- I can’t sit here and pretend I don’t think about what could’ve been, I was so scared.” Ugly sobs escaped Mike as he clutched the phone in hand. “I still am. God, Will, I’m still so scared.”
At this point Mike knew there was no saving this. There was no way. He shouldn’t have called in the first place. He knew he should’ve stayed downstairs with his beautiful wife in his beautiful dining room and ignored the feelings clawing at his insides- threatening to break free.
The phone stayed silent for what seemed like a good minute. Mike had even thought that Will had hung up, leaving him there to drown in his sorrow. It was until he heard a sniffle over the phone that Mike had realized Will was still on the other line.
Mike murmured into the phone as he gently laid his head on the hard tiled floor. “Please say something..”
Mike heard a shaky breath come from Will as he pressed his eyes closed even tighter.
“I should go,” Will said gently. “Congratulations Mike, really.” His voice cracking on the last word. “She’s lucky.”
With that, the quiet beep of the disconnected tone rang through the bathroom. Tears continued to slowly fall, eventually reaching his chin and slowly trailing down to his neck. Each tear falling like every thing left unsaid. He didn’t bother to wipe them. He sat still on the white tiled floor, phone still in hand as he brought his knees to his chest, cradling himself like a child.
Will had hung up the phone. Will no longer wanted to speak to him, that was clear. If Mike was him he wouldn’t either. But Will’s soft spoken voice was permanently burned in the back of his mind- it always will be. It sounded like home even when it hurt and Mike was sprawled out on his bathroom floor during his wedding day, still longing and aching for the one person that made him feel complete.
Mike weakly pulled himself up off the floor, putting all his weight onto the counter as he leaned over the sink. He stared back at the figure in the mirror in front of him. Puffy eyes, disheveled hair and a stranger in a tux; he could barely recognize himself. He wondered what everyone would say if he walked back downstairs like this.
Would they see right through him? Would they figure out the truth quicker than even he could?
Mike could physically feel his heart throb at the thought. The thought of Will alone made him more nauseous than the multiple drinks he downed that night. The thought of Will’s sweet smile and birthmark right above his mouth made Mike’s head spin with regret. With grief. He knew he would always yearn and ache for what he truly wanted. He will always search for the connection he once had with Will, knowing deep down nothing will ever compare. He will always think of Will and the love Mike was too scared to accept.
So as Mike began to slowly trudge down the creaky staircase to muffled laughter and voices, he thought of Will one last time.