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Slamming the doors of the TARDIS shut the Doctor ran to the consol, revving the ol’ girl’s engine, River close on his heels. The couple was absolutely hysterical; smiling manically, laughing at their near death encounter.
“Oh, out of the way sweetie.” Giving the doctor a small shove River began expertly flying the TARDIS, a playful smile pulling at her lips. “She likes me better you know.”
“Oi.” He shot her a look of mock offense. “None of this would have happened had you stayed out of trouble. How did you call me anyhow?” Hours earlier the Doctor had received one of Rivers infamous calls for assistance. The interesting thing about this one was that it was just that, a call. Without any explanation she had just called up the TARDIS on board phone and told him when, and where, to meet her. He had arrived on a rather primitive planet to find her strung up to the ceiling about to be sacrificed to the native’s deity.
“I didn’t call you dear.” She gave him a soft questioning look, but easily turned back to the console, unbothered by the question.
“Ah, I see.” It made sense of course, a future River had called to warn him. She was clever.
As the TARDIS leveled out and hummed contentedly River stood back, beaming at the Doctor. “Told you,” She quipped playfully.
“That you did. Tell me now, where are we?”
Both his hearts skipped painfully as he saw River pull out the familiar blue journal from her pocket. The binding was barely cracked; the pages still lie together crisply.
“Well, not much to tell yet. This is the first time I’ve seen you since I got the damn thing. I’m supposed to write in it, yes?”
His breathe caught in his chest, the doctor nodded. After a moment he recovered, and began whizzing around the console as though nothing was wrong.
“Quite right my dear. You write in the journal, everything we do together, and everywhere we go. That way, when we meet like this, out of order, we will know where we’re at.” He flashed a smile at her before pulling down the lever, sending the TARDIS through time once again. “But right now it’s time for you to go home.” As if on cue the engines whirring slowed to a stop.
“Will we always be like this?” River moved around the console so she was facing him, a knowing smile on her face, “Always running about, never getting to stay.”
“We do have the best fun though don’t we?” The doctor didn’t have the heart to tell her that they would never get to honestly travel together, that he’d already seen the end of her story.
“We do.”
Leaning forward she gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, before turning to walk away. She paused at the doors remembering something, “Oh, you’re sonic screwdriver. What will you do without it?” It had been lost during their daring escape.
“Oh the TARDIS will whip me up another one here soon. She’s probably working on it now.”
“Do I see you soon?”
“As often as I can. More when you get in trouble.”
She smiled devilishly, “Well I know what I’ll be doing then.”
“Goodbye, River Song.”
“Laters sweetie, say hi to Mum and Dad for me.”
And with that she was gone. The TARDIS doors closed with a deafening click. His hearts sank at the thought of Amy and Rory. His mind began rolling over ways to see them; it was something that he often did. Perhaps one day, if he regenerated again, he could go back to the end of their timeline and see them. He wouldn’t be able to say hello of course, not as himself, but he could see them at least. Nodding to himself, and setting new coordinates, he promised himself that that would be enough. That one day he would be able to see them happy and well and that that would be enough for him.
The engines roared to life, flinging the Doctor and his TARDIS deep into space and time, where he could float, limitless, separate from everyone and everything. It had been years since he had traveled with anyone, and sometimes it was easier to do this, to just hide. If he spent too much time traveling, especially on earth, he was likely to find another companion, and he couldn’t lose anyone else. He just couldn’t. Sinking to the ground as his fingers tore through his hair, the Doctor closed his eyes.
Ding
He leapt to his feet.
“Ah my old girl, you never let me down.” A small compartment opened up on the console in front of the doctor, releasing a mist into the air.
“No.” The doctor breathed the word softly as the mist cleared. “No, no no. NO!” He screamed, his head falling back as he yelled into the depths of the TARDIS.
“Why would you do this to me? Why now?!” His voice was practically a growl as he spun on the spot, his hands clenching to fists at his sides
The new sonic screwdriver lie tauntingly on the console, he had seen it before though.
“She is all I have left!” He slammed his fists down on the console. And the engines sprung to life without his consent. Running around the console he saw the destination.
“What? You can’t make me do this now. I don’t have to do this now. I won’t!”
Through clenched teeth the Doctor growled menacingly at his TARDIS as he attempted to redirect the destination, to change it. Seeing his attempts were doing nothing he reached for the emergency brakes, it would at least stall her until he could figure something else out. As his hand stretched out toward the lever a flash of electricity danced out from inside the console, and zapped him hard enough that the Doctor fell to the floor in a crumpled mess, unconscious.
When he awoke the TARDIS was silent, she knew he was angry. Fumbling to his feet the Doctor examined the monitor. He was a mile away from River’s home; it was long after her pardon. A tear escaped as he stared incredulously at the screen. Of course he had always known this day would come, he’d known it was coming before he knew who she was, but it didn’t make it any easier.
He thought back to that day in the library so many years ago, when she had said her final goodbyes to him.
“You turned up on my doorstep with a new haircut and a suit.”
Slowly, painfully, he made his way through the TARDIS. First to his bathroom to cut his hair, short, shorter than it had been in his last two incarnations. Looking in the small mirror he jutted out his chin, inspecting the job. His face was expressionless. Satisfied with his new appearance he made his way to the closet. He was in no hurry today. After some time he found a neat trim suit, it was nothing like the flashy apparel he normally wore. Grabbing a long dark coat he wrapped it around himself and studied his new appearance in the mirrors of the great room. His lip quivered dangerously.
He didn’t move the TARDIS closer, but walked the mile to River’s home. He had picked her up and dropped her off here a few times before, but had never ventured inside the home. He had always known he would have to face this day and had kept as much distance as possible because of it.
The icy night air stung his skin, but he didn’t care, not really.
He stood on the doorstep frozen. He couldn’t bring himself to knock on the door. He was calling her to her death, beckoning her to her end.
Taking a few short breaths to center himself the Doctor set his jaw and rapped on the door harshly. He wasn’t killing her, he had to remind himself, this was saving her.
River Song would be saved.
River answered the door, dressed in pyjamas, a rare treat even for the doctor. He couldn’t help but smile softly at the sight.
“Sweetie, what are you doing here?”
Of course it wasn’t often that the Doctor made a house call, even for River. She was always the one calling him.
“We’re going out wife. Quickly, get dressed.” He did all he could to keep his voice chipper, playful, how he wanted her to remember him. When she met him again he would be young and he wouldn’t know her yet. The Doctor knew that that moment would kill her; she had to have this last time with him.
Giving him a familiar cheeky grin she nodded, “Of course husband dear. Come inside, I’ll only be a moment.” She hurried from the door, letting it swing open in her wake. As she entered a room down a narrow hall, a room he could only presume was her bedroom, she hollered out at him. “So where are we then?”
The doctor chuckled, not daring to step past the threshold he leaned against the jam of the door. “I actually just got back from saving you from the natives of Decoran. You were so young.” He couldn’t prevent his voice from trailing off, nostalgia creeping in even though the memory was only hours old.
She didn’t notice the fond yet sad tone his voice had taken. “Ah yes, I remember that,” Her head and bare shoulders peeked from around the door, “And you were old,” her brow furrowed looking the Doctor over again, “You are old, much older.” After a moment she smiled, she had been meeting the doctor younger and younger as of late, and she had been worried their next encounter would be with a man who didn’t even know her name. For once River was beyond pleased to be wrong.
Popping back into her room River finished changing into a delicate, silver, flowing dress that pooled slightly at her feet. The Doctors eyes widened at the sight of her.
“You look...“
“Yes dear I know. You seemed rather done up so I thought it was only fair I matched.” She paused using the wall for balance as she slipped on shoes, “Where are we going exactly?”
“You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. Oh what a night that was.”
“To Darillium, we’re going to see the Singing Towers. Never been myself, but I hear they are beautiful.”
He outstretched a hand to her, and when she had grasped it they strode off into the night. He was glad for the walk back to the TARDIS, and when River asked why he parked so far away he simply blamed it on the trajectory log acting up. They strode hand in hand as River chattered about her work as an archeologist. He had heard many of the stories before, but she didn’t know that, so he smiled and nodded, laughing appropriately keeping everything light.
Upon reaching the TARDIS he stopped River in her tracks.
“Watch.”
He stood behind her so they were both centered in front of the doors. Snaking his arm over her shoulder so his hand was held in front of the both of them he snapped his fingers, causing the doors to dramatically open inward.
“Oh I feel all tingly.” River gave a little shimmy as she spoke, before heading inside of the TARDIS as if she had never left, as if it were her home.
When the TARDIS doors closed behind them the engines sprang to life, causing River too look around rather confused. “That’s new. Does she know where we are going?”
“Of course she does.” The doctor was just as surprised as she was. The TARDIS had to know how hard this was for him. She had seen everyone come and go, she had seen the deaths, seem everyone leave him. River was the only one he had left. Running his hand along the consol he silently thanked her for helping him do this.
His façade dropped for a moment as he felt the TARDIS answer him, a warm flood of strength and love filling him, and then it was gone as fast as it had come, and his mask reappeared. He swung around to face River.
“Have you ever heard of the Singing Towers of Darillium?”
She shook her head. She couldn’t have even told him what galaxy it was in. It was times like this that she hated how much of her timelady memory she had lost over the years.
The doctor smiled, and as the engines whirred softly, flying them through all of space and time as he told her of Dallarium. How when the planet was found by humans first exploring, they believed they had found an advanced civilization. Tall gorgeous structures had been erected high into the sky. They were lit up like a Christmas tree and at sunset they sang the most beautiful song, of course the song sounds different to everyone. It reflects ones inner soul. It took humans years to realize that the people inhabiting the planet were rather primitive and that the structures were actually natural formations. No one knows what causes the music, there have been millions of studies, quite literally, but it has never been reproduced, nor has it been found on any other planet, ever.
By the time the doctor had finished his explanation the TARDIS had long since landed.
“I’ve been waiting a long time to share this with you.” He reached his hand back out to her. His voice shook slightly, but that smile was still there, as always.
“Are you okay? You look sad.” River spoke tentatively as she took the hand.
The Doctor simply led her from the TARDIS. The sight was spectacular. She couldn’t have imagined a more colorful and natural sight. The TARDIS had landed on a hill that partially encompassed a deep valley a small distance from the Towers. The planet itself was rather barren, the ground was covered in short, soft, yellow grass and that was all that could be seen for ages, save for The Towers. There was no mistaking them. The Towers were gorgeous rock formations jutting from the planet’s surface. They glowed a soft pink, which quickly faded to purple, and then to teal. She understood now why they had been mistaken for an advanced civilization. The Towers were tall and jagged, with fiber like strands of color working their way up and down the structures. It looked deliberate, like some sort of building made of manipulated earth, or some sort of majestic art. River gaped up at the towers, trying to take the entirety of the sight in. The ten clustered towers rose between five and fifteen stories into the air. The colors rolled from tower to tower, reminiscent of a storm rolling across the evening sky.
“It’s beautiful.” River’s worries for the doctor were forgotten for a moment as she gazed upon the site. The doctor watched her with wondering eyes, trying to take in every detail of her person.
"It is,” he agreed, though his thoughts were not on the towers.
Tearing his eyes away he began dragging her along behind him to the peak of the hill where they could better see the sight. He could see that the planets largest sun was low, about to reach horizon. “Come along, don’t want to miss the show.”
The moment they reached the peak of the hill a sound pierced through the air, stopping both the Doctors hearts. Tears began streaming down his face as the Towers sang the song of his soul, of his tired, wretched soul.
“Doctor wha-“
“Shhh.” He told her softly, squeezing her hand. Tears continued to stream silently as he felt his soul being torn apart bit by bit. Everyone he’d ever lost had led to this. He could feel them all in this moment and the one person that had finally been able to be more was going to leave him too.
“It’s alright,” he whispered, more to himself than to River, “It’s all going to be alright.”
The song changed. He could hear all of time and space singing to him, carrying him forward through this hell he had found himself in. He could hear everyone he had ever helped, everyone who had ever traveled with him. Their voices, their souls sung out around him.
Stealing a glance down at River he could see her eyes were ablaze, entranced by the brilliance. More tears slipped as he desperately hoped that her song was a happy one. That she could look back on this life, their life together and be happy.
The couple stood like this for hours, or minutes, neither of them could really sure. The moment in time felt like a lifetime as their soul’s song was sung to them, but when the last light of the sun fell beneath the horizon and a final note rung out the doctor knew the time had come. They walked back to the Tardis in silence, hands still intertwined.
“Doctor, you said the song sounds different to everyone, how is that?”
“I don’t quite know.” It was true, he didn’t quite know how it worked, but he knew what it was doing. The song was an embodiment of your path through the universe, the good and the bad. He couldn’t tell her that he had just emotionally relived every past regeneration in the matter of a sunset; he couldn’t let her know that his hearts were falling to pieces as they spoke. “It was beautiful though wasn’t it?” He offered her a small smile, though he could feel the tear trails that he knew were visible on his cheeks.
Once on board the TARDIS he set a course to take her home. The TARDIS had done her part; it was done, so it was up to the Doctor to fly this time. They landed at the end of the small stone walk that led to Rivers ordinary home.
For the first and only time the Doctor walked River up to her door to say good bye.
“Professor River Song.” He said fondly, letting the words drip from his mouth slowly, savoring the way they felt in his mouth. “Thank you for this night.”
Her brow furrowed, “Sweetie what is wrong?” She was worried about him, she wondered if he was about to regenerate. Where exactly he was in his timeline? In theirs?
“Nothing you need to worry about now, I’m very far in our timeline I can assure you, everything is fine.” He smiled, fighting back the desire to fall to pieces completely as he lied to her.
“Oh, that reminds me. The old thing seems to be losing her touch,” He shot a wary glance at the police box at the end of the walk. “She made an extra one.” He held out the new Sonic Screwdriver. He knew that it would save her, that this was the whole point. With this she could live on forever. One person, he just needed one person that didn’t die. That would live till the end of time with him, even if it wasn’t with him.
“She took the device cautiously, fiddling with the settings.
“Oh I’m going to like this.” She smiled up at him broadly.
“I hope so.” The doctor leaned down, pressing a kiss against her lips, something they did not normally do. Pulling away he whispered against her lips. “Goodbye my dear.”
With that he turned away, slowly walking towards the open doors of his TARDIS.
“No.” River spoke defiantly, stopping him in his tracks.
He turned slowly to face her.
“No?”
“No.” She smiled at him, “Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”
He smiled at this. “I didn’t take you for one to believe in fairy tales.”
“How can I not? With you whisking both mother and I away in the middle of the night to places unknown?” She smiled softly. The utter trust and faith she held in him was almost too much for the Doctor to bear. He closed his eyes for a moment before catching her gaze, a soft, sad smile pulling at his lips.
“Well then, until next time my dear.” Giving her a small nod the doctor strode into the TARDIS. The doors closed and he fell to the floor against them as his soul ripped apart.