Actions

Work Header

Loneliness

Summary:

Life is hard, Sami knows it, but doesn't quite understand it

Notes:

So this is my first work about wrestling, English is not my language so i'm sorry about all the mistakes please let me know about them enjoy!

Work Text:

Life is hard because no one ever told you how to live it, you just get tossed around the world. You have to make a mark by yourself, build your own destiny but life is hard when you don't know who you're, much less what you want.

Life is hard because you have to struggle and don't make a rutine of all your days the rest of your existence, he knows that a rutine can destroy the soul and break the thoughest heart. Hell that's why Sami became a wrestler, because he didn't want a rutine, he didn't want a regular job so he tried, and tried again until his back was sore and the cold froze his bones and burned the rest of his body

He tried until his blood run hot through his veins and set on fire his limbs. He tried until he gave the very best he had to offer, he tried until his death and then he turned into a new person, each one of them had to be better than the last.
He tried until his heart stopped everynight and the stars became blurry visions, he tried until he cried for nothing.

Life only gets harder, because Sami saw all of his friends be on top before him, longer than him and he knew he had to feel happy for all, they grew up together as persons, as performers but a part of him was angry, furious with the world and he hated it, he hated himself.

There were moments in which he looked at the clock and tried to understand it, understand something at least. Time never comes back and he felt exausted at times, he questioned his reasons. Because life is hard and sometimes it seems as if nothing was worthy.
Instants go as fast as the wind wants to take them , he doesn't feel the gold in his hands whenever he wins it, he never feels the crowd or the energy. It's easier to feel the angst, the hate, the deception he thought he was to the fans.

Life is hard, because whenever he's on the road, he feels all those doubts following him as ghosts with the worst intentions, he knows that an injury can end with his career, knows that in a moment he will be fogotten and replaced because “he's nothing special. Sami wants to drown all of those thoughts in the next body of water he sees, he wants to join the sunset and dissapear within every color, arrive to a place where time doesn't matter and life is easy at least for a day. Where he doesn't have to worry about the rutine and destroy his mind in the process.

Life is hard when he is away from Finn, because Sami knows that Finn has the sunset in his eyes. He has seen it so many times whenever the anxiety comes and Finn is there to help him out.
He knows that Finn has the sky in his eyes, that Finn probably stole it from the gods and nobody told him anything because he's Finn Bálor for Odin's sake.
Sami knows that someone named him the demon of pure envy, Finn was no Demon, demons are full of evil and tragedy (at least as far as Sami knows) and Finn brings nothing but joy and hope to wherever he goes.

Sami repeats the same ideas in his mind until he's asleep, he can't help it but he feels so calm whenever he thinks about Finn and he finds himself very surprised when Finn tells him he thinks about Sami in the same way.
Because Sami believes he's nothing special and life is nothing but cruel and hard with him, he knows that time is bad and it doesn't brings back any of the moments he remembers with fond memories. Time can break any type of bond and relationship. So many times has he repeated this to himself, but Finn insist that time means nothing to them, sure life comes and goes but with Finn will fight all type of gods, so Sami can stay forever by his side.
Not letting him go, not losing him to anyone not even to Sami's mind. He's made a promise and Finn has so much pride to never break it, Sami understands it, but still his heart shatters at the mere thought of Finn leaving him, realising that he's not worthy enough and everything can be better without a burden. Because Sami knows life is cruel and time never comes back, that death is inevitable and awaits everyone, but when it comes to losing Finn, Sami knows that life and afterlife will be imposible to tell apart without the sunset by his side.