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"I'm like you in... in almost every way," Will said, looking upon the crowded radio station. He saw the faces of everyone he loved, among others he had somewhat of an opinion on. He saw Joyce, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Eleven, Max, Jonathan, Robin, Steve, Nancy, Murray, Vickie, Erica, Mr. Clarke, that girl named Eight or something, Hopper, Karen Wheeler, a sedated Ted Wheeler, the tied up and sedated Turnbows, and even Eleven's enemy Dr. Kay who miraculously agreed to come in for this and behave.
"We... we like playing D&D late into the night, and we like that old-person smell in Mike's basement. And we... we..." Will thought about it for a moment, realizing he wasn't being transparent enough.
"Let's put it this way," he said, bringing out a huge tray with four tacos on it.
Mr. Clarke blinked. "Where did he..."
"Hush, Snookums," Murray said.
Will pointed at the first taco. "This taco is Mike."
He pointed at the second taco. "And this one is..."
"...Dustin," Lucas finished.
Will nodded. He pointed at the third taco. "And this one is..."
"...Lucas," Dustin finished.
Will nodded again. He pointed at the last taco. "And this one is..."
"...you," Mike finished wistfully.
"Exactly," Will said. "You see. All these tacos are the exact same. We... we like malted milkshakes," he said, plopping dollops of malted milkshakes onto each taco.
"We like getting lost in the woods, and getting lost in Family Video and arguing about what to rent and settling on Holy Grail for the millionth time," Will said. "And... and we like Milk Duds in our popcorn with extra butter," he said, plopping Milk Duds in their popcorn with extra butter onto each of the tacos.
"We like drinking Coke with Pop Rocks," he said, spilling Pepsi with Pop Rocks onto the tacos because Robin said the station did not have Coke but she asked if Pepsi was okay and he'd said yes, begrudgingly.
"And we like bike races and trading comics and NASA and Steve Martin and Lucky Charms and going to the mall and going to the arcade and E.T. and He-Man and She-Ra and Smurfs and Chuck E. Cheese and Nesquik Metal Cans and Nintendo and Garfield and neon signs and Fisher-Price and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1980 and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1981 and and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1982 and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1983 and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1984 and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 1985 and Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of—"
"—1986," Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Jonathan, Max, and El all finished, tears in their eyes.
"Exactly!" Will said, wiping a tear. "Literally all the same things. But you see..."
He got out an ice cream scooper, a tub of guacamole, and a tub of sour cream. With a heavy heart, he dug into the sour cream and plopped them onto Mike, Dustin, and Lucas' respective tacos.
"You guys," he said, giving them a fierce look. "You guys like sour cream. And sour cream is..."
"...girls," Max and El finished, their eyes widening.
Will blinked away tears. "Yes." He took a scoop of guacamole and put it on his taco. "I don't like sour cream."
His friends and family all looked at him gravely. Jonathan smiled. Robin smiled and nodded.
"I mean..." Will said. "I mean I do. Just... Just not like you guys do. And I, uh, I had this... this crush on a piece of guac—I mean someone, even though I know... I know they're not like me."
A truly inscrutable look washed itself over Mike's face.
"But... But then I realized he's just my Tammy."
"His what?" Ted said.
"And by Tammy," Will continued. "I mean it was never about him," he said. "It was about me. And I thought I was finally okay with myself, but... but then today... Vecna showed me what would happen if I did this, if I told you guys the truth."
He got out a Back to the Future poster. "He showed me a future, and in this future..." He took a sharpie and drew an arrow pointing to the space between "THE" and "FUTURE," and then he wrote the words "SCARY, ALIENATED."
"...some of you are just... are just worried for me. Worried that things will be harder for me. And it just makes me feel like something's wrong with me. So I... So I push you away. And for the rest of us, we just drift apart more and more and more and more and more until I'm..."
"...alone," Eleven finished, thinking of her own mostly similar loneliness.
"And I know none of that has happened, and Vecna can't see into the future. But he can see into our minds, and he knows things. And it just felt so real. It felt so real." He went back to the poster and added the words "REALLY AWFUL." He was having trouble breathing.
"Will," Joyce said fiercely. "You gotta listen to me. That will never ever happen. You'll never lose me. Ever."
"Okay. Okay," Will said, trying desperately to convince himself his mother who has always been there for him would be there for him.
"And you'll never lose me," Jonathan, who is his brother, said. He stood up and gave Will a hug.
"Or me," Lucas said, coming up to give Will a hug.
"Or me," Dustin said, joining in.
"Or me," Mike said, joining in.
"Or me," Eleven said, joining in.
"Or me," Robin choked out. Vickie grinned.
They embraced him for a while as Steve, Nancy, Murray, Mr. Clarke, Eight, Karen, and Dr. Kay all politely nodded and smiled. Erica nodded and smiled in such a way that communicated she was fiscally conservative but socially progressive, so she was okay with this. Hopper nodded and scratched his head, for he had forgotten how to smile. Ted was still trying to figure out what was going on. The sedated Turnbows had already gone back to sleep halfway through.
"Guess you didn't need that truth serum, huh?" Robin quipped.
"Did you say, 'truth serum?'" Dr. Kay asked.
"Sorry," Max said. "This sucks, but you're gonna have to hug me."
"Oh, Max," Will said, silently glad that she understood what he was going for with that complex taco analogy. He came over and hugged her.
"I prefer guacamole, too," Max said.
"I bet you do," he said, as Lucas nodded in the background.
Upon hearing the word "guacamole" again, Mike had a sudden revelation. "Wait a minute..."
"Yes?" Will said.
"I think..." Mike took the ice cream scooper and put guacamole onto his taco. "I like sour cream and guacamole."
Will gasped. "You do?"
El blinked. "You do?"
"Yes!" Mike said. "I still like El, though."
"Oh..." Will said.
"Hold on," Dr. Kay said, then looked at Will. "Strange boy I've never met before, I am... happy for you, I guess? Just know that I still hate children, especially weak little boys like you. But I hate Eleven even more. As a reward for warming my heart, I will take Eleven and kill her for you so you can be together with this... I'm sorry, what's your name again?"
"Mike," Mike said.
"Right," she said, but then she immediately forgot it. "This guy you clearly like."
"Wait, really?" Will said.
"Nooooo don't do that," El and Mike said.
"I will kill you," Hopper said emotionlessly.
"Let us take this outside," Dr. Kay said. And then Dr. Kay and El and Eight and Hopper left the room to settle their own business and do things but it doesn't matter because Mike and Will can be together now.
"This is so awesome," Will said.
"Shame about El but this is nice, too," Mike said.
Then Will made out with Mike.
Karen clapped in encouragement, jealous of her own son for being brave enough to actually go through with cheating.
"This is... very strange," Mr. Clarke said.
"I've seen stranger things," Steve said.
"Wait..." Ted said. "Was the Byers kid trying to tell us he was gay?"
"Yes, Snookums #2," Murray said.