Work Text:
[group chat: inalienable champs]
Yahaba has left inalienable champs
Kindaichi: senpai?
Iwaizumi: SHITTYKAWA
WHAT
THE
Matsukawa: shhhh
Hanamaki: shhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Matsukawa: there are children present
Hanamaki: don’t scar them anymore than you already have with your face
Iwaizumi: fuck you
Matsukawa: been there done that
Kindaichi: D:
Iwaizumi: …….oh my god
Matsukawa: multiple times
Hanamaki: lol
Iwaizumi: seriously?
Matsukawa: duh
Hanamaki: i can confirm
Matsukawa: :-)
Iwaizumi: can somebody please just remove them from the group chat
Kunimi: tbh
Matsukawa: ?????? rude
Watari: what happened to family friendly, huh? :D
Hanamaki: woah
Matsukawa: omg
Watari: and what on earth happened to Yahaba?
Matsukawa: ….watari??????
Hanamaki: WATARI
Matsukawa: SON
Hanamaki: CHILD
Matsukawa: WHERE HAVE U BEEN
Hanamaki: WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL US
Matsukawa: WE WERE WORRIED SICK
Watari: haha :)
but honestly
what happened to Yahaba?
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA
Oikawa: IWACHAN!!! <3<3<3
Iwaizumi: OIKAWA
I SWEAR TO GOD
Oikawa: WHAT'S UP OMG
I WAS GONE FOR LIKE 5 MIN TO GET MILK BREAD WHY ARE WE SCREAMING WHO DIED
Matsukawa: i think ur about to
Hanamaki: lol
Iwaizumi: WHAT DID YOU DO TO YAHABA
Oikawa: Iwa-chan!!! :(((
Iwaizumi: just tell me what you fucked up this time so i can fix it
Oikawa: but :(((((
Iwaizumi: SPILL TRASHYKAWA
Oikawa: why are you so mean omg!!! >:( :(
it
was
Matsukawa: not!!
Hanamaki: you!!!
Matsukawa: lmao we know so chill
Oikawa: THANK YOU
wait what
Iwaizumi: what
Watari: what?
Matsukawa: omg right lmao
Iwaizumi: you better tell me what’s going on or so help me
Hanamaki: haha or then what ;)
Matsukawa: ;) ;) ;) ;)
Kunimi: this is so ridiculous wow
Iwaizumi: WHAT
HAPPENED
Matsukawa: lmao alright alright
so
Hanamaki: yes
Matsukawa: u all know i’m a respectable member of society
Hanamaki: not tru but go on babe tell them
Matsukawa: fair enough
well anyway
Hanamaki: yes
Matsukawa: so i was just u know
chillin
when suddenly
Hanamaki: cap you should probably remove the kids from the group for a sec
Oikawa: why?? omg
Hanamaki: …..safety
Kindaichi: what happened? D:
Matsukawa has sent a picture
Oikawa: oh mY GO D
Hanamaki: told you lol
Kyoutani has left inalienable champs
Matsukawa: lmao
Kindaichi: D :
Watari: ohhhhh my goodness
Iwaizumi: that is
Matsukawa: a dick. congrats
Hanamaki: back at it again with the great observation skills i see
Oikawa: ok but how is that dick so pretty
Matsukawa: …….really
Hanamaki: …..........really?
Iwaizumi: okay what the fuck oikawa
Oikawa: no buT SERIOUSLY IT IS
I DON’T KNOW HOW A DICK CAN BE PRETTY BUT IT IS
Iwaizumi: why am i dating you again?
Hanamaki: well
Oikawa: Iwa-chan :(((
Matsukawa: sb has to take one for the team obviously
Hanamaki: it’s for the greater good
Matsukawa: stay strong hajime
Iwaizumi: why are you like this
Matsukawa: i came out to have a good time
Hanamaki: and i’m honestly feeling so attacked rn
Oikawa: SAME
Watari: alright but
Oikawa: woaH WATARI WHEN DID YOU GET HERE <3!!!!
Matsukawa: what is it child
Watari: why would Yahaba send you a dick pic?
Hanamaki: ikr
who would send dick pics to that nerd
Matsukawa: :-(
babe
Oikawa: wAIT THIS ISN'T MATTSUN'S DICK BUT YAHABA'S???
that explains so much
Iwaizumi: ….how does that explain anything?????
Matsukawa: wow
Hanamaki: shhhhh babe it’s ok your dick is pretty enough
i love your dick
Matsukawa: babe <3<3<3
Watari: I’m so confused?
Matsukawa has sent a picture
[private chat: Yahaba > << Matsukawa]
> god I need you so bad right now
> I can‘t stop thinking about how good you felt last night
<< is that a love confession lmao
> babe please
> can you come over?
> my hands just can‘t compare to yours
> i miss you so much
<< why, i didn‘t know u felt so strongly about me ♡u♡
> kentarou we‘ve been dating for four months now what are you talking about
<< Babe,, maybe u could check who ur texting lmaooo
> what?
> no
> SHIT NO
> PLS TELL ME THIS ISN‘T REAL NO NONO
<< lmaooo
> I AM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED BYE
Watari: no way! :o
seriously?
Kindaichi: DDD:
Oikawa: IS THIS REAL
OH MY G OD
Oikawa has added Yahaba to inalienable champs
Oikawa: YAHABACHAN
Yahaba has left inalienable champs
Iwaizumi: oh my god
Oikawa: MADDOGCHAN
wait where'd he go??
Oikawa has added Kyoutani to inalienable champs
Oikawa: MADDOGCHAN
Kyoutani has left inalienable champs
Oikawa has added Yahaba to inalienable champs
Yahaba has left inalienable champs
Oikawa: HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS
Oikawa has added Yahaba to inalienable champs
Oikawa has added Kyoutani to inalienable champs
Yahaba: ughhhhhh
Matsukawa: lol
Hanamaki: lol
Oikawa: YAHABACHAN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US
Watari: seriously though…
Yahaba: T___T ugh
Oikawa: YOU NEED TO TELL US THOSE THINGS
YOU TOO MADDOGCHAN
Kyoutani: no offense but this really isn’t your business
Kunimi: NO OFFENSE BUT
CAN YOU KINDLY ALL SHUT UP NOW
IM TRYING TO SLEEP JFC
Matsukawa: omg
Hanamaki: omg
Kunimi: WOW AMAZING
Watari: omg
Oikawa: omg
Kunimi: SEXTING
BOYFRIENDS
Iwaizumi: omg
Kunimi: WE ALL SUCK DICK ON A REGULAR BASIS CAN WE STOP ACTING LIKE THIS IS A BIG DEAL
Kyoutani: . omg
Kindaichi: haha true :)
Kunimi: AND NOW EVERYONE SHUT UP
THANK YOU
Yahaba: OMG
Matsukawa: ? nooooo way
Oikawa: WHAT
Hanamaki: nooOOOOO
Kunimi: ...jfc
Oikawa: WHAT IS IT TODAY OH MY GOD
Matsukawa: KINDAICHI BABY,,
Hanamaki: MY BABY BIRD,,
Matsukawa: MY LITTLE LAMB,,
Hanamaki: MY TREASURED TURNIP,,
Matsukawa: YOUR INNOCENCE HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!
Hanamaki: YOU HAVE BEEN RUINED!!!!
Oikawa: :((((((((((((((((((((!!!!!(!!(!(!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kindaichi: ALRIGHT I AM GAY
Hanamaki: this is amazing
Kindaichi: SO WHAT
DEAL WITH IT
Iwaizumi: yeah i'd kinda guessed when you tried to kissed me that one time
Oikawa: SHDSJ IWA-CHAN
Matsukawa: this is a piece of art
Kunimi: gay *for me ffs
Kindaichi: IM GAY FOR KUNIMI
Hanamaki: i am going to screenshot print and frame this conversation and hang it on my wall
Matsukawa: i am going to get this conversation tattooed on my ass and have takahiro read it to me every day for the rest of my life
Oikawa: i am going to have a priest recite this conversation while they lower my gay ass into the ground omg
Hanamaki: now that’s a little too extreme don’t you think
Matsukawa: srsly oikawa get a grip
Oikawa has changed the name of the chat to seijou's hoes
Iwaizumi: i don’t even know why i am in this group chat anymore