Chapter Text
There he was again, in the bedroom he'd lived in for so many sweeps. It all seemed so distant, now that this hive and his lusus were gone. Revisiting it in dream bubbles was sort of nice every now and again. You know, a nice break from the blistering monotony of that godawful meteor which he was sick of the sight of. It was making him restless and antsy.
But occasionally he'd run into a dead version of himself from another timeline, and this just happened to be one of those times. It always filled Karkat with rage as he instantly remembered all the times in memos he'd make mental notes to give past or future him a smack in the face if he ever saw him. It was a weird feeling. He'd never thought of harming himself or anything like that, but... he thought it would be nice to be able to take out his frustration at himself. Every time he saw himself he grew a little more angry and a little less caring of inhibitions which told him just how fucked up this self-loathing was.
Upon entering his locked bedroom door for what seemed to be the millionth time, he found inside a troll who looked exactly like himself, only wearing dark red godtier robes, and with no pupils.
He let out a heavy sigh as the dead godtier Karkat irritably turned around and glared at him.
“UGH. Again??” he exclaimed frustratedly towards his dead self.
Dead Karkat looked at him and rolled his eyes. “Well what do you fucking expect when you go gallivanting around in dream bubbles, dicksponge? You're gonna run into versions of yourself from an alternate timeline.”
Karkat gritted his teeth. “I'd be fine with it if it wasn't the fiftieth fucking time I'd encountered a version of myself who screwed up so ridiculously badly and got murdered.”
“At least I reached godtier, you're just Karkat, pathetic and weak.”
“Eat a dick, shittier Vantas!” said Karkat, raising his voice. “Do you know how much torture it is to encounter a physical version of myself? Yeah, just as despicable as the versions I saw in my memos, but now in glorious 3D! Fucking perfect.”
“Do you not think I hate seeing myself too?? I cannot express how much contempt and loathing I have for you.”
“Yeah, well the feeling is mutual, wankstain. It's bad enough having to BE me every day without bumping into another me to hate. I can't fucking stand this!!”
Karkat got out his sickle and pointed it straight at dead Karkat, sneering at him. He almost sounded like he was growling.
Lowering his voice, he muttered “Get. Out. Of my bedroom.”
Dead Karkat took a step towards him until his nose was inches away from the sickle in Karkat's outstretched hand. “Or what? You can't kill me moron.”
Acting fast, Karkat lowered his sickle and punched his dead counterpart square in the jaw, knocking him back. His victim let out a small exclamation but didn't get far before Karkat was straddling him on the ground and pressing the sickle against his neck, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to make the other troll freeze completely and stare at the sickle.
“I can make you hurt. More than you ever thought possible.”
The words were coming out of his mouth before he realised, but he'd been meaning to say them for months. Hell, sweeps. There was never anyone else he hated more. Sometimes during restless nights in his recuperacoon, he'd imagine all the things he would say if he could ever get his hands on himself. And it was all playing out now like a dream, and he didn't even realise. It all came so naturally.
“Oh really?” Dead Karkat seethed up at him. “I seriously doubt that. You're a weakass little boy who nobody can be bothered to hate apart from yourself.”
Karkat pressed the sickle in slightly harder and smirked as his counterpart flinched, feeling the cold metal of the blade press dangerously into his windpipe threatening to draw blood.
“Like you're any different. You're utterly worthless. Look at you, useless underneath me. Pathetic.”
“Fuck you. I hate you.”
“I hate you too.”
With that, Karkat furiously slammed his lips into his dead self and kissed him.
There was nothing more perfect.