Archive of Our Own

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“You have to pick one!" Ohmwrecker let out a small, pitiful moan as the killer whacked him and his survivor Claudette was hung on the closest hook. At least the killer did not camp him.

"Hurry or they both die. We can't let it end like this- oh no, bad touch!" Bryce ended in a surprised shout, running into the cornfield after the Hillbilly smacked him, blood spurting from the wound in Meg's shoulder as she hunched over. He lost the killer around a generator and began slow, crouched movements to where the others were; not that he could get there in time to save either.

"Hold on a damn minute, don't rush me" Delirious grumbled. His version of Meg, who had the hat, turned back and forth so quick she almost spun in place. He made a frustrated sound when Vanoss shouted, "There's no time! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Ok. Ohm, I'm sorry," Delirious said as his character weaved around hay bails toward where Evan was hooked.

"Its alright, Delirious..." Ohm's voice trailed off into a high pitched cry as the black tendrils of the Entity descended closer to Claudette. "Fuck!"

"...I'm sorry that you will not be dying tonight!" Delirious let out a maniacal cackle and Meg made an unexpected u-turn, heading for Ohm instead of Vanoss.

"What? You idiot, don't leave me!" Vanoss shouted, spamming the 'A' button to keep Jake alive. “Why would you do that. You were almost to me!”

“Maybe because I like Ohm better.” Meg reached Claudette and lifted her from the hook, and they both took off running at the roar of the chainsaw.

“Well that was unexpected,” Bryce sounded somewhere between amused and disbelieving as he snuck his character around the side of another generator and got to work on fixing it. Evan was already a lost cause, health so low there was no way to get to him.

“I can't believe you just did that,” Vanoss complained. “I wish it wasn't some random killer we were playing against. I would completely tell Cartoonz where you are.”

“Thank you Delirious- oh yes, rub my back. Just like that!” Ohm made an obscene noise that had them all laughing.

“Yes, now do me.”

“Guys stop touching each other, we need to get generators.” Bryce complained as he finished their first one, only to be surprised by the killer and mowed down by the chainsaw. “Oh my gosh!”

“Well, you know, if Delirious had saved me maybe I could have gotten a generator-”

“Oh please. Vanoss we all know you suck at the skill checks.” Delirious snorted. Meg hid beside the rusted out machinery as Bryce was placed on a nearby hook.

“This is true.” Ohm agreed. Having in a previous match been killed because of a flubbed skill check he could say that truthfully.

“You are only saying this because he saved your ass. Sheesh. Lately it's like the two of you are actually dating or something.” Vanoss spectated Ohm and watched him attempt to save Bryce only to be yanked away at the last second and hefted onto the Hillbilly's shoulder.

“No, no. We are not dating,” Delirious denied, yet it was said with the same amount of sincerity as when he was lying about setting a trap by someones feet. He saved Bryce and took off immediately after.

“Pffff. You could try to be more convincing as you leave me to bleed out in favor of Ohm.” Bryce yelled as Delirious stalked the killer and with him, Ohm.

“You are not gonna die. Just find a med kit.” The huffed laughter was enough of an indication of his thoughts on Bryce finding one in a nearby chest.

“Gee thanks.”

“Can we talk about Ohm not denying that they are dating?” Vanoss prodded, his voice loudly bowling over everyone else.

“A little busy here! Fuck, no, i'm going to die.”

“Hold on Ohm, I will save you- oh shit. No. Help! Help!” Delirious screamed as the Hillbilly dropped Claudette on the ground and went after Meg. He was in the open cornfield with no pallets to throw and no cheatsy spots to escape the killer. It was unsurprising when he was chainsawed and Meg went down with an agonized scream.

“Aww no. That's it, i'm gonna die. I've already been hooked.”

“We can die together,” Ohm said dramatically, his voice cracking at the end. Claudette's health bar was almost gone even as he crawled away from the hooks. With Bryce on generators and Delirious about to be hooked, Ohm was dead.

“Death can't stop our love,” Delirious cried as Meg was hooked and the Entity stabbed into her.

“No, Delirious!”

Delirious made exaggerated dying noises that lead to them all cracking up.

“Bryce, it's all up to you. Find the hatch or fix the rest of the generator-”

“Damn it. My game glitched and it won't let me spectate. This sucks,” Delirious complained with a huff.

“Yes it does. Because i'm going to go for the generators, of which none of you completed any.” Bryce's tone was disapproving.

“Yeah, we will tell you play by play how awesome he does. And we wont give you the footage.” Vanoss laughed as Delirious called him an ass.

Bryce had Meg crouch across the map, skill checking the hell out of two more generators, leaving only the one in the center of the cornfield. The one they kept getting caught at. “OK, you can do this.”

At eighty percent the distant sound of the chainsaw started to grow closer. The sluggish heartbeat in their ears became louder, more distressing until the Hillbilly was baring down on him. The last second Bryce finished the generator and spun around it, the chainsaw smacking into the generator instead of Meg.

The guys cheered him on, just as pumped as he was.

“Go, Bryce! Hurry to the exit.”

“You got this!”

“Do it for us!”

Meg sprinted across the map to the red light of closest exit. He passed the hatch on the way, but the self imposed challenge was to get the generators and escape via exit. Last resort would be the hatch, even if that meant admitting defeat. The second it was in view Meg latched onto the leaver, pulling it down to start opening the door.

“Open, hurry up!” Bryce screamed at the loading bar. Why did it have to take so long to open- and oh god the Hillbilly! Meg let go of the leaver and sprinted to the left as the chainsaw connected with the still closed exit.

“Run, run, run-” Bryce chanted as he lead the Hillbilly into the cornfield and the broken-down milling machine. Meg ran up the ramp to the top platform and waited for the Hillbilly to climb, then jumped over the edge and darted back into the cornfield. He slowed Meg to a crawl and inched his way toward the exit.

The chainsaw roared to life and Bryce let loose a muffled shriek as the Hillbilly, chainsaw lifted high, streaked by him with only inches to spare. “Oh my gosh. How did he not see me?!”

“Who cares. Get to the exit now!”

“No, Bryce go to the other one,” Vanoss told him, “He's probably waiting at the one you started.”

“We can't see over there. He might not be,” Ohm insisted.

Bryce sighed as the guys argued over where he should go, and decided to go for the same exit. It would make things more interesting. And if things got too dicey he could have Meg slip away unseen again.

“Bryce, what are you doing? Not that way-”

“What I want,” Bryce said as he lead Meg to the door as quickly as he dared.

“What I really, really want!” Delirious sang much to their amusement.

The area around the exit was silent, still and foreboding. Meg inched around the crackling barrel of fire just as the heartbeat started up sluggishly. Now or never, he might not get another chance. He sprinted for the leaver, once more pulling it down.

“You're gonna get caught!” Vanoss yelled. The heartbeat went wild in response.

“The bar is almost done-” Bryce gasped as the Hillbilly shot out from behind the slated walls, chainsaw primed.

The exit groaned loudly as it opened, doors slowly parting to form the familiar stretch of path that lead to freedom.

Meg ducked, the chainsaw going wild and missing him entirely. Their were various gasps, cries and screams of “Go! Go!” as Bryce took a hit from the Hammer, blood spurting from the wound. With the chainsaw in cool-down, and the burst of speed given after the hit, it was not enough for the killer to gain a second chance.

Meg limped her way beyond the barrier and into a win.

“Yes!” Bryce yelled, then laughed as he listened to the others cheer.

“That was intense!” Delirious let out a breathy chuckle, “how you freaking escaped I don’t know.”

“Yeah it was- wait, I thought you said your game glitched and you couldn't spectate?” Vanoss asked with suspicion.

“Uh it did. It totally did.” Delirious replied with his nervous laugh.

“You are watching on someone else's computer,” Bryce accused, “Are you and Ohm actually dating?” he asked, seemingly a little too excited.

“...Maybe.” Ohm hedged.

“Maybe not. Could just be visiting. Just two masked gamers hanging out-”

“Don’t you mean making out, Delirious?” Vanoss asked.

“Shuch up. You know nothing.”

“Hey now, Evan-” Ohm started,

“Oh my god! How did we not see this?”

“Fuck this!” Delirious yelled. There was an unholy squeak from Ohm and the telltale sound of kissing. For a long moment there was stunned, disbelieving silence.

“Everybody happy? Can we get to the next match now? Nosey asses.”

“Uh...” Bryce was at a loss for words.

“What just happened?” Vanoss finished.

“I think I just got skill checked.” Ohm said breathlessly.

Delirious cackled.