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Infatuation

Summary:

Being his friend is enough, Todoroki tells himself.

He knows he’s lying.

Notes:

I'm still trash pls forgive me.

You guys have no fkn idea how many times I re-read this and changed stuff. Jesus. It probably still has like a metric shitton of mistakes lol.

Work Text:

He breathes in.

Midoriya is in front of him, smiling like he always does. His hands are flying through the air in front of him, everyone’s laughing around him. Todoroki can’t seem to pay attention to whatever the other is saying, it must have been something funny, everyone’s happy. He is too.

Todoroki loves it.

Midoriya has a way to light people up, he takes whatever worries you have and blows them all away without even trying, he’s too bright, too warm. He found a way to blow Todoroki away too, and now he’s freefalling, he can’t help it, he’s falling hard and there’s no stopping.

Being his friend is enough, Todoroki tells himself.

He breathes out.

--

“We’re friends, right Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya ask nervously one day, while they’re walking to the cafeteria after class.

This catches Todoroki by surprise; he misses a step and stops to prevent tripping. He looks at Midoriya questioningly.

“I thought we were?” It comes out more like a question than a statement; Todoroki gives him a small frown. “Aren’t we?”

“Y-Yeah!” Midoriya says brightly. “Just making sure.” He laughs a bit awkwardly.

Todoroki wonders how Midoriya’s life must have been before U.A. and reminds himself of Bakugou. An unpleasant sourness steers inside him before he starts walking again, matching Midoriya’s pace as he swallows the urge to hold him.

“We’re friends, Izuku.” He tries not to look at the other, afraid he might notice the slight redness of his cheeks, he could always blame his left side.

Being his friend is enough, Todoroki tells himself.

He knows he’s lying.

--

There’s something about Todoroki.

Something Midoriya can’t even begin to think about without getting a strange knot in his stomach. It’s not unpleasant, not at all; it’s just too embarrassing for him to handle. It’s something about how Todoroki’s cold stare doesn’t feel cold at all, how he always has a smile for him, however faint it might be, how he always walks on Midoriya’s left side on sunny days to keep him cool. He doesn’t even know if Todoroki does it on purpose until winter comes and he switches sides.

They inch closer every day, and without noticing the fabric of their coats brush together as they walk, they don't even bother to move away from the other, it happens naturally and they let it be.

Midoriya doesn’t know if the warmth he feels is coming from Todoroki or himself.

Spring comes and Todoroki switches sides again, there’s no more fabric between them, their habit of walking too close to each other seems to still be there though; their hands brush together and as Midoriya tries to move away embarrassed, Todoroki grabs his hand, clasping it tightly in his own.

Midoriya blushes hard, and knows for sure the heat he feels is coming from inside of him. He doesn’t want Todoroki to see his face like this, it’s too embarrassing, and yet he instinctively turns his eyes to meet heterochromatic ones. Todoroki is staring right back at him with a smile he had never seen before. Midoriya smiles back.

The knot gets tighter.

--

“Your quirk is really amazing,” Midoriya says absentmindedly, he’s been trying to read a magazine for the past 30 minutes, but he hasn’t even turned the page once. “I wish I could be more like you.”

Todoroki blinks twice, averting his eyes from his phone; he looks at Midoriya who’s sitting in the couch perpendicular to his own loveseat, wondering where that even came from. “Thanks.” He says, he’s not really sure how he should reply to that.

“Ah!” Midoriya chirps, pulling himself out of his thoughts as if he’d been burned by them. “Sorry, that was weird of me,” He stutters without looking at Todoroki. He flips a couple pages. “Just forget it.”

“Izuku.” Todoroki says quietly.

Midoriya freezes, he can feel Todoroki’s stare, drilling holes into him with his eye’s sheer intensity. “Sorry.” He says again, quietly.

“You don’t get it,” Todoroki speaks, quietly at first, then gaining volume after a second. “The only reason why I’m like this now, is because of you.” He finally says.

He’s had these thoughts for months now, he thought Midoriya knew how he felt, how much Todoroki owed him. If it weren’t for him, Todoroki would still be throwing that stupid immature fit trying to go against his father. It was stupid and childish and Midoriya practically slapped him, punched more accurately, out of his tantrum.

“That’s—“

“It’s true.”

“Shouto—“

“I know you’re gonna try to pin this on me, but I’m not gonna let you, I know you too well, Izuku.” Todoroki gives him a small smile. “I am who I am right now, because you helped me get here. Give yourself some credit.”

Shouto can see Midoriya’s eyes get watery, he doesn’t push it anymore, he knows Midoriya is a crier.

“Thanks.” Is Midoriya’s own quiet response, a couple tears fall from his eyes and Todoroki is next to him faster than lightning. They sit next to each other in a reassuring silence.

Todoroki comes to the painful realization that being his friend isn’t enough.

--

Midoriya finds himself thanking the heavens the faculty decided to make U.A. a boarding school.

He loves the dorms.

More accurately, he loves seeing Todoroki more often than before, bumping into him on the hallway, spending late nights together enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence in the library.

He doesn’t really know how it all started; he knows it was after the sports festival, but he can’t pinpoint the exact moment when they both started gravitating towards each other. Midoriya knows they’re friends, he’s sure of this, Todoroki even reassured him of this a while back… but he also know they’re something more, something neither of the two are willing to talk about.

Friends don’t just hold hands as they walk together, or cuddle when they’re watching a movie. Friends don't stare at each other lovingly over their books or give gentle caresses when they think the other is sleeping on the dorms commons when no one is watching. No, he knows just friends don’t do that. Midoriya knows they’re not just friends.

He knows and he loves it.

--

“Shouto.” Midoriya says softly.

Todoroki looks up at him from his book with questioning eyes. They’re in Midoriya’s room, working on an assignment.

“I love you.” He says bluntly from his spot on his bed, looking directly at Todoroki.

Todoroki stares at him, his lips half parted, he wants to say something and yet he can’t, he wants to say something, something, anything.

He does instead.

Todoroki doesn’t know just how it happened, he only knows his lips are pressed against Midoriya’s, one of his hands cradling the other’s neck, the other finding a spot on Midoriya’s back where it fits perfectly.

Midoriya kisses him back, it’s not desperate or passionate, it’s slow and sweet and loving, he breathes out and parts his lips slightly, the kiss deepens and his head is dizzy, he knows the room is getting hotter and it’s probably Todoroki’s fault. He doesn’t really care.

“Izuku…” Todoroki manages to say between kisses. “I love you so much.” He breathes out and holds him impossibly closer, he needs this, he has since he realized how much Midoriya meant to him.

And they’re kissing again, deeper and messier letting all the tension they built between them melt away in a long-due embrace.

They part and look at each other, faces red and hair a mess, there’s a moment of silence as they catch their breath and then laughter.

Yes, Todoroki thinks to himself. Being friends was never enough.