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Bottombronation Secret Santa (2025)
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Published:
2025-12-20
Words:
788
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
11
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3
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90

Mac and Dee Ruin Couple's Skate

Summary:

Mac and Dee decide to crash a couple's night at a local skating rink.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Why the hell did you drag me into this, Dee?” Mac snapped irritably, tightening the laces for his skates a bit too much from his frustration. Ever since the humiliation of the shootout for the Flyers (and the fact that Mac could barely go around Philly without being recognized for that stupid video), Mac had avoided ice rinks and skating like the plague. Yet here he was, tying up his skates and about to go on the ice because Dee signed them both up for Couple’s Skate (AKA, an excuse for them both to play homewrecker and snatch some guys who get dumped). Dee scowled as she stood up and got to the ice. “Because if we wanna score some serious dong action, a couple's night is easy pickings, and it was free admission if you brought a date. Now hurry up with your skates, boner.” Dee scolded, Mac scowling as he stood up. “They absolutely aren’t going to believe you and me are dating. You’re far too ugly for a date, and I’m a total sex magnet for guys,” Mac grumbled as he followed Dee along, stopping just before he got on the ice. Suddenly, it was 2010 again, and Mac’s legs felt like jelly as he let his skates leave the safety of the concrete. Dee was already moving around gracefully, like she’d done it thousands of times before- which Mac figured was because of the years Dee spent on roller skates. Dee was squawking on about how none of the guys there were even remotely hot, and if Mac wasn’t clinging to the barrier for dear life, he would have already snapped at her.

“...nd they all have these trashy skanks with them for their dates, I could really show them a good time if-” Dee stopped when she saw how tightly Mac was holding onto the barrier, his eyes focused on the ground, and each step almost a shuffle. Dee rolled her eyes before she went over. “Oh my god, I forgot how much you can’t skate,” Dee grumbled, and Mac huffed as he spun around. “I can skate! I can skate better than anyone else here!” Mac shouted, Dee only responding by rolling her eyes and skating closer. “Jesus- will you just-” Dee huffed before she grabbed Mac’s sleeve, forcing him away from the safety of the barrier and properly onto the ice. “DEE YOU GODDAMN BITCH-” Mac snapped, and if he wasn’t so terrified of wiping out again, he’d pull his arm free to choke her out. Dee simply rolled her eyes as she guided Mac onto the ice. “If we’re gonna score tonight, we actually need to skate. Now just follow my lead, meathead,” Dee argued, and Mac shut his jaw and let Dee guide him along the ice (not because he liked it, but it was better than wiping out in front of everyone).

Mac started to adjust to skating after a little bit of time, and some of the shakiness went away once he got more confident. He and Dee squabbled and gossiped their way across the rink, going in loops over and over again. Pointing out guys that were their type, talking shit about Dennis’s latest beauty habits, fighting over whose turn it was to try and steal a guy. They both took their chances on some of the couples- Mac distracting the women while Dee flirted with their boyfriends, and Dee pointing out any man who kept trying to dodge his girl for Mac to snatch up. Neither were successful, ending up getting kicked out by security after Dee shoved some girl down and Mac started body slamming people to “make this skating thing more exciting.” Neither left without a fight, kicking and arguing because they had every goddamn right to skate like everyone else- and it totally wasn’t their fault that none of the couples around knew how to have any goddamn fun.

Mac huffed as he shrugged his scarf tighter, ranting the whole walk back to Paddy’s. “It was so goddamn boring! I was just trying to put a little action on that ice,” Mac complained, Dee groaning in agreement as she fussed with her gloves. “That goddamn bitch was going to be just fine, she just needed to gimme another 2 minutes with that stud,” Dee argued, and Mac rolled his eyes in disgust (She was right that the guy was hot, but did she really need to phrase it like that?). The pair eventually fell into silence together, a few stray flurries falling around them- and Mac smiled a little bit. And maybe, just maybe- Mac wouldn’t mind if he went skating again. As long as Dee was there to keep it interesting.

Notes:

Happy secret santa, omegaverse-yuri!!