Work Text:
TUESDAY, 09:00 hours
‘Heero’s gone.’ It was the first thought that went through Duo’s head as his eyes opened. ‘Damn missions. Why can’t Une send us all out together more often?’ He knew why - the stupid ‘Spouse-and-Partner’ Guideline that kept them from being paired together unless it was a major mission, but grumbling about it made him feel a little better. He yawned and stretched, his left hand going out automatically to pat along the covers. ‘Where...?’
He sat up, glaring at the empty left side of the bed. All right, so he knew the right side would be empty when he woke up - he’d repeated the fact to himself every night before going to sleep since two days ago, when he’d kissed Heero goodbye and watched him leave. But the left side of this bed should damn well have a warm little dragon in it!
Where was Wufei?!
Duo drug out of bed, grumbling the whole time. His lovers knew he liked to cuddle in the mornings - there was nothing better, he felt, to start the day off right.
Not even coffee.
So where was ‘Fei? He knew the other boy liked to get up at some ungodly hour, but he usually came back around the time Duo would be waking up, to indulge in a little cat nap while waiting for the braided boy to wake up and pull the small, warm body tight against his own.
Duo nearly whimpered at the thought - certain other morning conditions made him wish even more that ‘Fei had been there when he’d woken up. He tossed on a sloppy t-shirt and some boxers and went in search of his wayward lover.
‘Not in the bathroom, living room’s empty, check the kitchen - ah, ha!’
He slid up behind the boy sitting at the counter and wrapped both arms around him, loose chestnut waves falling like a curtain around them both.
"‘Fei... why are you in here?" He was whining and he didn’t care. He wanted his cuddles, dammit!
"Oh, Duo - I’m sorry." Wufei had learned to apologize in the years since the war, especially to a certain braided baka who pouted a lot. "I didn’t realize it was so late."
"Don’t ya love me anymore, Little Dragon?" Duo whispered, only half-teasing. Wufei didn’t say those words often enough to suit him, leaving him with a well-hidden - he thought - uncertainty as far as this lover was concerned.
In reply, Wufei leaned back against the sturdy chest and turned his face up, kissing Duo on the soft skin underneath his chin. "Always," he said softly, nuzzling the taller boy with his nose. Duo gave a purr of contentment and hugged him tighter.
"Whatcha doin’ in here that’s so mesmerizing?" He teased gently, his heart thrumming with happiness. Kisses from ‘Fei were rare unless you kissed him first - their little lover had never initiated making love in the entire six months he had lived in this apartment. It sometimes worried he and Heero, but Wufei’s responsiveness when they started something usually settled their fears.
"A package came for Heero. I was wondering if we should open it."
That made Duo blink. Polite, honorable Wufei was even contemplating opening someone else’s mail? Even if that someone else was his lover, who had given him permission to do so? "Uh... ‘Fei...?"
"It’s just that it’s marked ‘Open Immediately and Inspect’. So it’s probably important. Do you think we should?"
"Yeah! C’mon, you know Hee-chan won’t mind! Now I’m all curious!" Duo, instantly distracted from his grievance over losing his morning romp - er, cuddle - reach out for the medium sized package on the counter, wrapped in innocent brown paper. There was no return address, which made him think very briefly of the war and bombs, but he pushed the thought aside. This apartment building was part of Preventer’s HQ, after all - all the mail was carefully scanned.
"Don’t shake it," Wufei said quietly, knowing Duo’s usual habit whenever a package came into his hands, "it says ‘Fragile’, too." He picked up the cup of coffee he’d been nursing while trying to decide what to do with the package, just holding its warmth in his hands while he watched Duo turn the box over carefully, studying it.
"No return address, no postmark - didn’t it come in the mail?"
"No. It was outside the door with the paper. You know who it’s probably from."
"Yeah..." Duo looked disgusted. This wasn’t the first time a ‘mysterious’ item appeared outside their door, but it was usually a wrapped picture or tickets for two to the opera or ballet, or an embossed invitation to dinner at an exclusive restaurant, wrapped around some small, expensive gift. They were always for Heero.
They were always from Relena.
Duo set the package down a little less gently than he’d been handling it. "You think she’d get a clue, already! I mean, c’mon, after Heero told her, point blank, that he’s with us? What is the deal with that bitch?! How can the freakin’ Vice Foreign Minister be so stupid?!" Duo was well on his way to a shouting fit.
Wufei slid calmly off the barstool and moved to wrap an arm around the other’s waist, effectively shutting him up by startling him into silence. He flushed red, knowing he was going way beyond the way he usually acted, but he’d had over an hour to plan his reactions to Duo’s anger.
"It’s all right," he soothed, giving the taller boy a quick squeeze and then moving away, still blushing, "nothing else has worked, and this won’t either."
Duo caught him before he could take another step, pulling him back against him in a bone-crushing hug and burying his face in soft dark hair. "I know. Nothing she can do is going to make him leave. I just don’t like it that she keeps trying."
"She’ll get over it. Maybe we should start sending her some nice little ‘packages.’" Wufei replied, trying to lighten the mood.
"I’m a bad influence on you, ‘Fei." Duo said solemnly, not relaxing his hold the slightest bit. A grin had started dancing over his face, erasing his bad mood. He put a hand under the smaller boy’s chin and tugged his face up, bending to give him a long, hard kiss. Wufei’s mouth was warm and wet, and tasted of coffee, toothpaste, and the distinct deep vanilla flavor that he always tasted of. It had to be his own personal taste - he and Heero had never yet seen him eat or drink anything to account for it.
And they had watched - spying on dragons was becoming an obsession. They still found it hard to believe that Wufei was theirs, even after six months.
Wufei finally broke the kiss when his lungs screamed for air. He leaned his forehead against Duo’s chin. "What about... the package?" he asked, slightly out of breath.
"Oh, yeah." Duo let him go reluctantly, his curiosity winning - for the moment. He made short work of the brown paper wrapping. Wufei picked up the shreds while Duo examined the sturdy cardboard box, then ripped it open in a sudden shower of foam peanuts. Wufei left picking them up until later, his own curiosity peaked as Duo dug through more of them, finally lifting out a note on stiff, embossed paper and a weird little device on a polished wood stand. The note wasn’t folded, and Duo had no compunctions about reading a missive from Relena, anyway.
‘Dearest Heero -
I found this darling little thing
in a curio shop while on a
diplomatic trip. I was sure you
would enjoy having it on your
desk in your office at the Preventers!
It is rather fragile, I would
recommend you do not allow your
friend, Mr. Maxwell, to damage it.
Until I see you again,
Ever Yours,
Relena’
"Why does she think I’d break it?!" Duo demanded angrily.
"Because you smashed that entire collection of china birds when she insisted we all come to dinner so she could ‘get to know Darling Heero’s little friends’?" Wufei questioned dryly.
"That wasn’t exactly an accident, ‘Fei."
"I know that. She doesn’t."
"I was screaming at her at the time..."
"Yes, but she’s a damn moron."
"Oh, ‘Fei, Fei, I have been such a bad influence on you!"
*
Two boys sat at the counter, staring at a little metal knickknack on a wooden stand.
"So what the hell is this thing?" Duo finally asked.
"I have no idea," Wufei replied. The object was made of shining silver metal, round, about the size of a dessert plate, with stubby little metal rods about an inch long poking out all over it. It wasn’t attached to the stand in any way they could see, one of the rods just seemed to be resting against it. Duo had turned the stand upside down and shook it while Wufei waited to grab the strange ball, but it didn’t budge.
Wufei sat with his chin in his hands, elbows on the counter, studying the odd device. Duo was momentarily distracted - he wished ‘Fei didn’t get so mad when they told him how cute he was sometimes. If he’d had his glasses on, Duo wouldn’t have been able to resist jumping him. As it was, he was just planning on waiting until they decided what this thing was.
Then he was jumping him!
Wufei leaned forward suddenly, peering at the old wood. He put out a finger and traced something - a word? - nearly worn off and barely visible. He took the little gold-rimmed reading glasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on for a better look. "Whirligig?"
"What?" Duo asked, his voice strangely husky. Wufei shot him a look over the top of his glasses and wondered why he was so flushed? It wasn’t too hot in here, was it? He sincerely hoped Duo wasn’t getting sick.
He’d always been a terrible patient.
"It says ‘Whirligig.’ And these knotholes are really..." he put out a slim hand and poked the one on the left. The little device shook and beeped for a second, then the stubby little rods slid out until it was bristling with two dozen six-inch-long metal bars.
"What the...?!" Duo put both their thoughts into words. "Is there another button?"
"Yes." Wufei poked it cautiously. A red light blinked on at the top of the sphere - then it suddenly leapt off the stand and into flight, whirling around the room. It was briefly tangled in the kitchen curtains before ripping them off to flutter to the floor. It careened into cupboards, broke dishes, and put a huge dent in the top of the stove. The boys were ducking as it swooped wildly over their heads, spinning the flashing bars in a dizzying display.
"Grab it!" Duo shouted.
"No, don’t! Duo, don’t! It could..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
*
"I told you not to."
"Shut up, ‘Fei. What am I gonna do?!"
They were sitting in the living room, both of them staring at the now-still Whirligig tangled in Duo’s hair. The metal rods had pulled it into one huge snarl just below his shoulder blades, a few long tendrils hanging loose just made it look worse. Duo’s attempts to free his precious hair had so far led only to pain. Pushing the second button again had made the Whirligig stop trying to fly with him attached. Pushing the first one to retract the rods had made him scream as it tried to suck his hair inside, as well.
"I can’t cut it, ‘Fei... I... it... ever since I was little... and Hee-chan..."
"I know." Wufei said softly, picking up a comb and brush and moving to sit behind his lover. "I’ll get it out, Duo. You’ll just have to sit still. You can’t do this yourself, it’s too hard for you to see."
"Thanks, ‘Fei. It’s not gonna be easy."
"I know that. Watch tv or something." Duo felt slender fingers slide into his hair, tugging gently at a single strand. Duo sighed, half pleased and half miserable. He might lose his hair, for gods sake! but it made something warm bloom in his heart that ‘Fei was willing to take on such a monumental task for him - and his hands felt sooooo good...
He turned on the television.
*
It was after dark when Heero came into the living room. He’d been expecting to be met at the door by a hyper lover, happy to see him back, and a calm lover who would be no less pleased. He was worried when it didn’t happen, so he went looking for them. He stopped and stared at the scene he came into.
Duo sat on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs and his chin on his knees, watching television with the volume set to low. He was surrounded by empty plates and glasses and stacks of books, a handheld game player, and several volumes of manga. Wufei sat behind him, his fingers barely moving as he apparently tried to untangle Duo’s hair from something - very strange looking. His head was nodding and his eyes were closed.
Duo saw Heero’s reflection in the screen and turned his head slowly, gesturing to him to be quiet. Wufei didn’t budge. Heero crept closer.
"What’s going on?" he whispered.
"You got a little present from Relena, and it attacked me. ‘Fei’s been working since before ten this morning to get it out of my hair. He wouldn’t take a break except to get me something to eat and he didn’t eat at all. I’ve been waiting for him to fall asleep for the last half hour." Duo’s reply was so low Heero had to strain to hear it.
"It’s past eleven now..."
"Yeah. Is he asleep?" Heero looked at Wufei just in time to see his head jerk up and hazy onyx eyes open.
"Heero?" ‘Fei yawned. "When did you get back?" He looked a little flustered at not hearing him come in.
"Aw, ‘Fei, I thought you were finally going to rest!" Duo pulled his hair away gently, peering over his shoulder at the Whirligig. "Hey, you’re almost done."
"Yes." was all Wufei said. He reached for the last few strands that were wrapped around the ball, and two strong golden hands joined his. Heero helped him with his usual efficiency, and five minutes later Duo was finally free. He leapt to his feet, tossed the Whirligig into the corner with a crash, and scooped Wufei up in his arms. ‘Fei yelped with surprise.
"Shut up." Duo said sweetly, cuddling him to his chest even as he leaned over to kiss Heero. "Welcome home, Hee-chan, and thanks. Wanna help me put a dragon to bed?"
"Of course." Heero replied, leaning over to get a very sleepy kiss from his smaller koi. As he followed Duo from the room, he sent a glare toward the Whirligig. He really needed to have a talk with Relena.
********************************
Thursday, 13:00 hours
Wufei stared down at the mission plan in his hands and then back up at the smirking Agent who had just handed it to him. "This is a joke, right?"
"Of course not!" the man said, sounding wounded. "Would I joke about a mission?"
‘How should I know?’ Wufei wondered silently. ‘You’ve only been here a week, I’ve never spoken to you before.’
And he hadn’t ever wanted to. Agent Banks reminded him, more than a little, of a certain Major Hernbeck that he’d dealt with in the past. Except that this man at least acted like he was friendly, but Wufei had seen him giving him some odd looks. He’d given the same looks to Heero and Duo, as well. Usually, looks like that were followed by insults, teasing, or questions about their relationship. So far, Banks hadn’t said anything, but Wufei had a feeling it was only a matter of time.
He really didn’t want to go on a mission with him.
And he definitely didn’t want to obey the mission requirements. Why would Une send him on this, knowing what he’d have to do?! She knew and respected his culture, and she also knew and teased him over how Heero and Duo felt about...
"Don’t tell me the great Agent Chang is going to back out of a mission?" Agent Banks said, his voice light but with a steely glare in his eyes.
Wufei glared right back. "Of course not."
"Good! You might wanna go take care of... you know... then, because we leave in an hour." He smirked again and left the office.
Wufei took a deep, settling breath and reached for his jacket.
*
"So anyway, as long as no surprise missions come up, I figure we’ll all be out of here by five. Then we can go straight to the park." Duo said, tossing Heero’s empty pen holder into the air and catching it.
"Hn." Heero grabbed for it on the next toss and returned it to its proper place on his desk.
"Aw, c’mon, Hee-chan! You know you’re looking forward to this! And anyway, Relena’ll be there."
Heero nearly choked. "W-what?! That’s supposed to make me want to go?!"
"Yup!" Duo replied, grinning like a loon. "Relena’ll be there - along with a dozen other stuffed-shirt politicians, and she’ll have to watch you watching an outdoor theater troop with a boyfriend hanging off each arm! And she won’t be able to say or do anything! Now do you wanna go?"
"Yes." Heero’s face stayed blank but his eyes sparkled with devilish delight.
"Thought you would." Duo’s grin got impossibly wider. "We might need to stop by the apartment and get..." He trailed off as a wild-eyed Agent came running into Heero’s office, waving a mission plan.
"Oh, Agent Maxwell! You’re here, too, wonderful! Agent Yuy, this..."
"Aw, no, not a mission! For us?" Duo interrupted.
"You’d better believe it’s for you!" The little Agent nearly shouted, making them stare at her in surprise. Agent Panela was the shyest, quietest little Agent in the entire building! People thought she was part of the furniture until she spoke! This had to be serious.
"What’s the mission?" Heero was all business, any thoughts of a picnic in the park running for their lives.
"Oh, no, it’s not a real mission! I mean, it sort of is, and you’ll be... oh, and Lady Une said to tell you to get right on it, because... oh dear, I’m not saying this right." She took a deep breath, gathering herself. "Okay. Right. I went to Agent Chang’s office because he’s supposed to have the reports for last week’s mission ready for review. There was a mission plan that I didn’t recognize laying on his desk and you know I’m in charge of typing all the new mission plans. So it was open and I couldn’t help looking at it to see where in the world it came from, and I saw Lady Une’s signature on it but it wasn’t her signature and I remembered that it’s April first."
They blinked at her.
"April Fools Day?! Come on! You, of all people, should know that!" She pointed at Duo, who grimaced.
"Aw, I forgot all about it! Damn! The pranks I coulda pulled!"
"Duo." Heero’s tone shut him up fast, and they turned back to Panela.
"Right! So anyway, I read the mission and it’s dumb and I never heard of it so I took it to Une and she kinda freaked out and said to take it straight to you so here I am and here it is and you’d better go after him, quick!" She tossed them the mission plan. "And I have to go, but good luck!" She vanished out the door.
Heero and Duo stared after her for a second, almost seeing the little cartoon puffs of dust in her wake. Then they turned on the mission plan. Duo started reading the important points aloud.
"Chinese-Mafia style gang... infiltration... requires Agent with excellent martial arts skills... knowledge of Chinese dialect, yeah, ‘Fei knows that one... sword skills... culture and traditions... damn, whoever planned this did their homework on ‘Fei, all right... mission will require unique hairstyle chosen by gang? What? Hair approximately chin length, with severely cut bangs... holy SHIT!" he screamed, suddenly realizing what that meant. Heero was already up, shoving his gun into its shoulder holster as he ran down the hall, and Duo scrambled after him.
*
Wufei hesitated outside the barbershop, his hands playing nervously with the end of his ponytail. Normally he didn’t do nervous, but this was going to be a major change in his life. Long hair was traditional for warriors in his clan, he had always been proud of his. And Heero... he loved Duo’s hair, and seemed to like Wufei’s as much. He wasn’t going to be happy about this. Duo probably wouldn’t either, he liked to play with the black ponytail, enjoyed cajoling him into wearing his hair down.
‘For Nataku’s sake, it’s just hair. It’ll grow back!’ he told himself firmly, and took the plunge, shoving the door open and walking inside.
*
Harold Jackson spent most of his time in his brother’s barbershop, snoozing in a chair or chatting with customers. Since his wife was such an incredible nag, he felt he had to escape the proximity early retirement had forced on him. Besides, he really enjoyed spending time with Frank, they’d been very close growing up. Lately they’d discussed Harold taking the barber’s exam, expanding the little shop into a two-barber partnership.
Right now he was watching as a young Asian man, wearing the familiar Preventer’s uniform, gestured to his chin and forehead while talking to Frank in a voice too low for Harold’s hearing aid to pick up. Apparently he was explaining exactly what he wanted. Frank was nodding, although his bright-eyed gaze was as curious as Harold’s. Both of them could see a vast reluctance in the young man’s eyes, and wondered why he was having his hair cut when he obviously didn’t want to.
Discussion over, the young Agent moved to the barber’s chair, while Frank turned and got a smock and a pair of scissors. He turned back around and froze.
The sound of a gun being cocked was loud in the little room.
"Put those scissors down and step away from him." The voice was cold, deadly.
"Geeze, Hee-chan, breathe." Said another voice, cheerful, but when they looked at the grinning young man, the dangerous glitter in his eyes didn’t make them feel any better.
"Yuy." The young Agent in the chair sighed. "Put the gun away."
Surprisingly enough, the other Agent obeyed, glaring at the Chinese boy with pure malice in his eyes. "Get out of that chair, Chang."
Agent Chang obeyed rapidly, his dark eyes narrowed. "It was for a mission."
"A fake mission, ‘Fei." The Agent with the braid took a card from his pocket and handed it to Frank. "If he ever comes in here again, call us before you do anything." He smiled, but his eyes added the words, ‘or we’ll hunt you down like the dog you are.’
Frank gulped and nodded, pinning the card carefully on the bulletin board.
"Maxwell..."
"Shut up, Wufei. You’re in trouble. Not as much as Agent Banks, but still..."
The taller agent, with the blue eyes and chocolate hair, pulled Agent Chang further away from the chair. Harold was watching the anger in his blue eyes, and when he raised his hand, he was sure the smaller Agent was about to get punched.
So he was quite surprised when the hand slid possessively over the black silk ponytail, instead.
And they were rather more surprised when the braided Agent wrapped his arm around Agent Chang’s shoulders as they walked out, and gave the ponytail the same possessive touch, like he was making sure it was still there.
The door opened and closed with its usual tinkle of bells and the two brothers were left staring at each other.
*
Agent Banks paced back and forth on the hard tarmac of the shuttle port, a camera gripped firmly in his hand and a scowl on his face. He’d worked on this little ‘prank’ for a good solid week, and now it looked like Chang had chickened out! And he had friends here waiting to see the results! He’d chosen the dumbest looking hairstyle he could come up with from old kung-fu movies, and he knew Chang would never live it down. He’d purposefully manipulated the other Agent into getting the cut with that remark about turning down missions. Everyone knew Chang never turned down missions.
So where was the man?!
Ah, someone was coming. He couldn’t see who it was yet, but it had to be Chang. Most of the other Preventers were already gone for the day, who else would be wandering into the shuttle port? He gestured frantically for his friends, who had been clustered around the one lonesome snack machine. They rushed over, and all of them stared at the shadowy figure just standing in the doorway. They waited.
And waited.
Banks was just getting ready to toss out a comment about Chang being ‘afraid to show off his new ‘do’, when the person finally stepped forward.
And was Heero Yuy.
Glaring.
Not good.
Banks took a cautious step back and looked around for the exits. An odd rolling sensation in his stomach told him he was going to need one. Two more shadows moved behind Yuy and became Duo Maxwell, grinning like Death Incarnate, and Chang Wufei, with his face completely blank.
And his ponytail intact.
Banks was distracted from the danger he was in long enough to swear. Quite loudly. He’d worked hard on this, damn it! How had Chang found out?
Or had he...?
"Chicken out after all, Chang?" he taunted, hoping that these three hadn’t actually found out the mission was fake. He had no doubt they’d report it to Une.
"Man, you’re in enough trouble... really think that’s smart?" Maxwell’s ‘advice’ was given in a tone Bank’s taunting couldn’t hope to match.
Duo was, after all, a master of sarcasm.
Banks was just lucky that he appreciated a good trick. If it had been successful, he’d have let Heero put the man in the infirmary, but since they’d found out in time to stop ‘Fei, he was willing to admit that all this had been brilliantly planned.
Almost as good as some of his pranks.
Except he would never - he hoped - be malicious enough to take advantage of a person’s more noble character traits, just in order to humiliate them.
That was low.
Which was why he wouldn’t stop Heero from death threats... and maybe a little violence.
"What are you talking about?" Banks was still trying to hold on to the illusion of innocence.
Heero wasn’t buying it.
"Falsifying mission plans is against Preventer Guideline 37-d and punishable by fines and a thirty day unpaid suspension."
"Who said I falsified..."
"Endangering one of my partners is punishable by severe physical trauma." Heero continued, stepping forward.
"Endangering...?!" Banks took a matching step back. "I didn’t endanger anyone!"
"You endangered ‘Fei." Duo replied cheerfully. "If he’d come home like that we might have strangled him before we found out it wasn’t his fault. And you definitely endangered the barber on First Street. Oh, and you’re a real idiot, you know? This little joke was planned pretty good, but you sure must not have thought about what would happen after."
Banks blinked at him.
Duo sighed.
"Chang and a katana? Yuy and a gun? Maxwell, your car, and a can of neon green spray paint?! C’mon, man, nobody’s that stupid!"
Banks blinked again and swallowed. A rueful look began to spread across his face. "I guess I am. I never thought of that."
"Huh - at least he admits he’s stupid. How ‘bout letting him leave in one piece, Hee-chan?"
"Stupid and wrong." Heero demanded coolly.
Banks wasn’t about to argue. He didn’t care a bit about saving face in front of his friends. They were shaking worse than he was. "Stupid and very wrong."
"And sorry." Heero was inexorable.
"Very sorry, and I’ll never do something like this again."
"Hey, man, jokes’re okay!" Duo said quickly. "Just don’t be so juvenile man - think up stuff that won’t cause you permanent physical damage. Oh, and that isn’t so mean. Fun jokes are okay - why would you want to hurt ‘Fei like that?"
"A haircut wouldn’t hurt him. Wouldn’t hurt you either." Banks sniffed. He didn’t think Agents should be allowed such long hair - it was against basic Regulations - even if these three were of Special Agent status. A deep resentment of what he saw as special treatment for these three - and those other two brats - was what was truly behind his ‘joke’, not any prejudice against their lifestyle, as Wufei had assumed.
His words were very poorly chosen - Heero wasn’t tolerating the threat to ‘Fei’s ponytail very well - the added insult and possible threat to Duo’s braid was about to push him over the edge. His hands folded into fists, and his eyebrow twitched, and his arm brushed against the shoulder hostler holding his gun.
Definite danger signs.
Wufei’s calm voice stopped him before he could move - not that he would have really shot the man.
Just scared him a little.
Probably.
"There are reasons behind both of the hairstyles you are disparaging, Agent Banks. I will not presume to explain Maxwell’s choice to you. If you wish to understand mine, I suggest you do research on traditional Chinese warriors."
Banks gave him a grudging nod. "All right. I guess... I mean, I’m sorry. Okay?" He wasn’t really - not exactly. He still wished he could have played some sort of joke on the arrogant younger Agent. Chang was too sure of himself for his own good...
Wufei gave him an abrupt nod, turned, and walked out. Duo laughed and followed him - leaving Heero still glaring at Banks.
An evil smile spread slowly across his face.
"I’m... not... quite... satisfied..."
Banks flinched.
*
"Where’s Heero?" Wufei looked behind them, puzzled.
"Ah - he’ll catch up, Fei-chan." Duo stopped next to a narrow alleyway between the shuttleport and the mechanics shop, giving the dark space an appraising look. "He’s just taking care of some... loose ends."
Wufei opened his mouth to ask about that rather disturbing statement, but all he managed was a startled squeak as he was yanked into the alleyway.
*
When Heero left the hanger about five hanger about five minutes later, a smugly satisfied look on his face, he headed straight for the alley. He knew Duo - he’d lived intimately with him for two years, after all. No way would he have passed up an opportunity like that dark space offered, not with his adrenaline running like it was now.
Sure enough, he found two rather disheveled Preventers Agents in the alley, locked in an embrace that made him wish he had a camera. Relena’s little stunt with the picture several months ago had gotten him thinking. The results were a purchased camera, an album full of pictures of his kois, and a mildly voyeuristic Heero Yuy.
Duo thought this was hilarious.
Wufei wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or pleased.
"Break it up and let’s go home." Heero said.
"Aw, c’mon, Hee-chan... you had your fun..." Duo started, but Heero cut him off.
"Duo - you said yourself that Wufei was in trouble..." He gave his lover a look.
"Huh? ...oh!" Duo’s face lit up with excitement. He grabbed the arm of a very surprised Dragon and rushed him out of the alley, Heero following hard on their heels.
"What’s going on? What do you mean, in trouble?" Wufei demanded as he was dragged along.
"We mean you were bad ‘Fei... almost cut your hair off for a silly mission - you could have asked Une about it, you know."
"I should question my Commanding Officer?!" Wufei asked, not quite angry but getting there.
"Yeah - remember Hernbeck? You didn’t question him enough! Not that Une would do that, but still. Anyway... you were bad. So we get to punish you." Duo leered at him.
"P-punish?" Wufei went from slightly angry to slightly worried.
"Handcuffs and leg irons." Heero dredged up a familiar phrase that left Duo nearly howling with laughter.
And Wufei more confused than ever.
But they didn’t leave him confused for long...
****************************************
Saturday, 12:00 hours
This had to be fate.
Bad karma.
Murphy’s Law?
Oh, he knew! Cosmic revenge for what he’d done to Agent Banks!
Hey, the man deserved it for playing that joke on his Wufei. And he’d looked rather handsome in the slightly crooked mohawk haircut he’d given him. Une had laughed in the man’s face when he’d dared complain about it, told him the other Agents hadn’t submitted complaints against him, and proceeded to slap him with every fine and suspension she could, just for being a jerk.
So this current catastrophe couldn’t be in retaliation for that. He had to have done something worse.
Maybe in a former life, he’d been a professional teddy-bear thief. Stolen little kids stuffed-animal security... yes, that had to be it.
Why else would he have been blessed with having his hair dyed pink?!
Heero was not happy.
The fact that Duo was going to laugh up his lungs when he saw him didn’t help.
Maybe he could blame it on Relena, and get Duo’s hysterics turned into madly plotting revenge? Yeah, that would probably work... what was Wufei going to say?
Heero moaned and dropped his head down on the steering wheel.
He’d been sitting outside Preventers HQ for ten minutes now. He didn’t want to go in. He was never going to live this down. At least, for once he could be thankful for his ‘emotionless mask’, as the other Agents referred to his usual expression. He’d worn it so long that it took no effort at all to keep on.
At least Banks was on suspension, and wouldn’t see this. Hearing about it second-hand wouldn’t be the same.
Actually, when you got right down to it, this was sort of Relena’s fault. If she didn’t like pink so much - if she wasn’t such a perfect politician who would certainly show up at such an important festival in the town park - if the officials organizing the festival had never heard of how people used to dye a certain river on Earth green in honor of St. Patrick - if they hadn’t dumped two hundred gallons of ‘ecologically safe’ pink dye into the little lake in the middle of the park - if Heero hadn’t been coerced into serving on Relena’s security detail again - if that lunatic hadn’t tried to bean her with a badly lettered sign proclaiming her a vampire in disguise - Heero could almost believe that - if said lunatic hadn’t tried to escape by swimming through the lake - if Heero hadn’t been the only Agent present who could swim...
Well, at least the bathhouse at the park had hot showers and plenty of soap. The dye had washed off his skin.
But not his hair.
He even had pink eyebrows.
Well, he might as well go inside and get this over with. Duo would know some way to fix his hair - or Trowa would. They were the infiltration experts, after all. Changing their appearance was easy, especially for Trowa. He’d just have to brave the reactions he was going to get and find his fellow pilots.
He got out of the car.
*
Duo strolled down the hall, hands in his pockets, looking for Wufei. Lady Une wanted them both to do some research on new training techniques - not really Duo’s specialty, but Wufei was Head of Training, in charge of most of the new recruits. Une and the others had been surprised at both his ability and his patience with the raw, clumsy new Preventers. Wufei had found his niche. Duo had found his own as Chief Mechanic - he wouldn’t be helping out with the newbies if this training wasn’t about learning the fastest way to repair a vehicle with the fewest resources possible. Always came in handy in field work.
Duo was looking forward to the day that the Head of Preventers Security, an older Agent who had fought with Une during the wars, decided to retire. It would only be about six more months - Heero was his second in command and would take his place. That meant almost no more missions for Hee-chan. He wasn’t sure how Heero would like that, but Duo wouldn’t mind at all. He worried about his koi, and he knew Wufei did, too, although he never said anything about it. Duo was very glad that Wufei, like him, only took extremely specialized missions, ones that required experts in their respective fields.
Yep, the world was good now, and in six more months it would be perfect... was that laughter further down the hall? He drifted in that direction - he had plenty of time to find ‘Fei. He turned a corner and stopped dead.
‘Pink...’
He stared at Heero, sitting at his desk with his face as blank as a white piece of paper, ignoring the muffled giggles and laughing eyes surrounding him, as every other Preventer in the room stared.
Oh, gods - the jokes Duo could make! Oh, and the things that pretty pink hair made him want to do!
And the invisible-to-anyone-else hurt and embarrassment in Heero’s eyes that stopped him from doing either.
Duo went from thinking about humourous lines and rather smutty images to wanting to knock these other Agents’ heads together. Couldn’t they see they were hurting ‘Ro’s feelings?! And they always acted like they respected him so much! He scowled and stalked over to Heero’s desk.
"Hee-chan, lunch time. I don’t know where ‘Fei is. Wanna eat in the cafeteria?" He acted like Heero having pink hair was something he saw every single day, and saw a flash of surprise, then gratitude go through his lover’s blue eyes. It made him very glad he hadn’t shouted out a joke as soon as he saw him.
"Hn." Heero replied, getting up and walking calmly next to him. They went in the direction of the cafeteria, and Duo kept up his usual bright chatter; although Heero could see the curiosity in his eyes, he didn’t mention the new hair color.
When they entered the cafeteria, there was dead silence for a moment. Then most of the other Agents there broke out in snickers and giggles, some Agents just staring blankly, while the bolder ones called out to the two Pilots, full of questions and teasing. Duo teased them back, not giving them any real answers, as he and Heero got their food and found a table.
Heero just sighed. It was going to be a long lunch.
*
Wufei was a little irritated. He’d been hunting for Duo for the last fifteen minutes, after Une had told him that the other boy had the new training files. Of course, if Duo had come looking for him, he had been on the top floor hunting down some old case files, and he hadn’t told anyone where he was going. So he couldn’t be very irritated. Just a little.
A glance at a clock sent him towards the cafeteria. It was time for lunch break, and gods only knew Duo never missed lunch. He still ate like there was no tomorrow, but knowing what his childhood had been like, Wufei didn’t blame him. Just because you knew that you’d get another meal tomorrow didn’t always make you want to risk going hungry. And with what they’d gone through during the war - none of them really trusted that tomorrow would come.
Duo was just lucky he had a raging metabolism to match his appetite, otherwise they’d be rolling him down the halls.
As he approached the open cafeteria doors, he was surprised to hear laughter and loud voices.
"But it’s just so pretty! You ought to leave it that way," a female voice cried.
"Yeah, pink looks good on you." Male, that time.
"Are you going to try other colors?" Female again.
"Guys, enough! Find something else to talk about!" That was Duo, and he sounded like he was getting angry. Wufei quickened his steps.
"Oh, but, Agent Maxwell! You have to admit..."
"No! Change the subject, or you’re all going to regret it! You’ve had your fun! Enough!"
Wufei had reached the door now, and saw that half the Agents in the room were studying their plates intently, while the other half was staring at one table with grins pasted across their faces. He followed the direction of their gazes and nearly fell on his face.
‘What... how did... pink?!’
"Oh, come on, Maxwell! You’ve got to admit he looks nice! I would’ve thought you’d like it!" A male agent called out, and he saw Duo’s beautiful violet eyes narrow.
"I wasn’t kidding about making you regret this..." Wufei knew that threat was real, but the other Agents apparently thought it was just another of Duo’s lighthearted jokes.
"Pink hair, pink eyebrows... did you get dyed pink everywhere?" A particularly bold female Agent asked, and Wufei saw a dark flash go through Heero’s eyes. Duo looked like he was going to explode.
Wufei cleared his throat.
It was amazing how that small sound shut the whole room up. Every face there looked toward the doors and the slim, arrogant figure framed in them. Wufei’s own face was ice-cold.
"I have a katana," he said calmly, icy black eyes studying the last two Agents who had taunted his lover, "and I enjoy using it."
He walked over to his lovers’ table and sat beside of Duo, calmly taking the extra sandwich Heero always got for him and proceeded to just as calmly eat it. Heero and Duo both smiled at him and went back to their own lunches.
The rest of the room stayed abnormally quiet.
Even after they finished eating and left.
*
"C’mon, c’mon!" Duo demanded, dragging Heero down the hall by his arm. They were heading for Duo’s small, seldom-used office in the technical wing. Wufei was following a few feet behind them. Heero could feel those onyx eyes boring into the back of his head.
They reached the office and Duo shoved Heero inside, then grabbed Wufei and pushed him in, too, following them and locking the door securely behind them. The only window in the office looked out over the vacant lot behind HQ, but Duo closed the shade anyway. Then he turned on Heero.
Gazed at him a moment.
Then started howling.
Heero arched a pink eyebrow at him, and he laughed harder.
"Oh gods... oh gods... are you pink everywhere?"
Well... his cheeks were certainly pink.
Heero risked a glance at Wufei, and saw him still standing next to the door, just staring at his hair. He gave him a questioning look, but Wufei didn’t blink. Just kept staring.
"C’mon, Hee-chan, spill. How’d it happen?"
Heero sighed and told them the whole long, silly story. By the time he got to the bit about the lunatic dragging him under, Duo was rolling on the floor and even Wufei was snickering. When he told them about Relena’s screaming breakdown over thinking he had drowned, Wufei started laughing out loud.
Well - Heero had to admit, he’d thought that was funny, too. Especially when she’d fainted on seeing him alive. And his entire body, clothes and all, bright pink.
"Was... p-probably... a ... fantasy..." Duo forced out the words, his chest heaving for breath between bouts of laughter. "A ...fantasy... c-come... true... P-pink Heero... ‘Lena’s t-two most f-favorite things..."
‘Wonderful,’ Heero thought sourly, ‘now Wufei’s laughing again.’
"Are you two quite finished?" He asked primly, sitting down in Duo’s desk chair and glaring at his lovers. Duo was still on the floor, spread out limply and gasping. Wufei was in the small chair near the door, fighting for his composure.
"Aw, loosen up, Hee-chan! We still love ya, pink and all! And ya didn’t answer my question!" Duo was suddenly on his knees in front of Heero, his gaze bright and predatory, all the breathless laughter gone.
"What question?" Heero asked warily, watching as Wufei sat up sharply, alert.
"Are you pink everywhere?" Duo purred, reaching for the button on Heero’s uniform slacks.
"Duo!" Heero tried to fend him off. "This is not appropriate work behavior!"
"We’re entitled to two fifteen-minute breaks between lunch and quitting time, to be taken at our discretion." Duo was still purring. "And we have over a half-hour of lunch left."
"That gives us at least an hour." Said a soft voice from behind Heero. Wufei had moved while he was distracted - he felt slender fingers running curiously through his hair.
"See?" Duo’s fingers went back to their target. "Even ‘Fei’s willing to play during break time. Hmm... look, ‘Fei-chan. The answer was ‘yes.’"
"Ah. No wonder you didn’t want to tell that onna," Wufei said calmly, even as his fingers started sliding down Heero’s neck, searching out the top button to his shirt.
Heero rapidly ran through the Preventers rules and regulations in his head - nope, not one that said what Agents should or shouldn’t do on their breaks. Just all things in decency and order... well, the door was locked, wasn’t it? And the shade pulled? That should take care of the decency.
He’d let his lovers decide the order.
*
"We’ll buy some brown dye on the way home, get you fixed up for tomorrow." Duo said softly, playing gently with Heero’s pink bangs.
"Hn." Heero replied with his usual terse response. He shifted his shoulders a little and pulled a half-asleep Wufei a bit closer. They only had five minutes - or less - of their ‘break’ left. Good thing they’d learned to power-sleep during the war. Wufei was the only one taking advantage of it at the moment, but then, sex always seemed to make him sleepy.
They thought that was cute.
They were rather surprised when he rolled over and gazed at them. "We all have tomorrow off."
"Oh, yeah!" Duo couldn’t believe he had forgotten - all three of them having the same day off was a rare and treasured event. He sat up and gazed down at his lovers, Heero on his back with that shocking pink hair glowing, Wufei curled against his shoulder, Heero’s right arm around him, blinking black eyes like a sleepy cat. "Man - we have to get a picture, before we fix your hair! I wish I had a camera right now."
"I thought Heero was the voyeur," Wufei grumbled, snuggling closer.
"Hey, I always said I appreciated it. It’s about time for me to start contributing! Anyway, do you wanna do your hair tonight, Hee-ro?" He said the last sentence in a sweetly female voice. "Or we can paint our nails... or we can jump right into some more fun as soon as we get home."
Heero blinked up at him, refusing to rise to the bait. "If this hair turns you on so much, I say we go straight to the fun."
To his vast surprise, Duo blushed.
Heero sat up, taking Wufei with him.
"It does turn you on?!" he asked, startled.
"Well... kinda. It’s just - it’s so different. You look different. Not in a bad way!" he added hurriedly.
"It makes your eyes even bluer." Wufei’s voice was shy with the compliment.
"Yeah..." Duo agreed, zoning slightly as he stared at Heero’s face. "‘Specially with the pink eyebrows..."
"Hn." Heero was silent for a moment. "Well, then, I guess I’ll leave it pink for tonight." He paused again, thinking of the very, very - enjoyable - last hour, and what he could do tonight... and if having pink hair helped - not that it was hard to get his kois to do this with him, but still! any advantage was a good advantage - he gazed at his lovers, who were both blushing faintly, their eyes once more fixed on his hair.
‘Hmm - and maybe I’ll leave it through tomorrow, too...’
"You know..." Duo said thoughtfully, sitting back and running the end of his braid over his lips, "This has been a really weird week. So far as hair goes, anyway. First that damn Whirligig, then Banks trying to get ‘Fei a new hairstyle, and now you probably glow in the dark. ‘Cause that’s some of the pinkest pink I’ve ever seen. I wish Tro and Quat had been here. They’ll never believe it when I tell them."
Wufei and Heero shared a wince. "Do you have to tell them?" The Chinese boy asked.
"Aw - you don’t think I’m gonna keep something this funny to myself?! It was awful while it was happening, but it’s hilarious now! I can call it the ‘saga of the hairstyles’ or something dumb like that. It’ll go on my permanent story list - like the time during the war when Quat stole everyone’s underwear while he was sleepwalking... how many times have I told that one?"
"Several million," Wufei whispered in Heero’s ear. The other boy snorted and turned it into a cough when Duo shot him a questioning look.
"Have something to say, Hee-chan?"
"Yes." Heero replied calmly. "Duo, if you think you’re going to tell anyone about this..."
Both his lovers waited for the death threat...
"...leave out the bits about our ‘fun.’"
~owari~