Work Text:
Hayden Pike learns his best friend is probably in love with his rival during one of his most terrifying moments on ice.
They have to clear the field so the athletic trainers can come out and evaluate Shane, immobilize him, and stabilize his spine.
Once the ref pulls him off of Marlow, Hayden has to pull some of his teammates to their bench because they’re frozen with horror. It’s like herding cats, especially with the newer, younger players and it take him a moment to corral people. It’s because of this effort that Hayden nearly misses it.
But he turns around to help another player into the bench and sees that Ilya Rozanov is still standing too close to Shane. He’s speaking to, or rather yelling at, the athletic trainers, demanding to know if Shane is okay.
Sure, it was pretty clear that Rozanov and Shane’s rivalry was more media hype than actual hatred, but this isn’t that.
When the ref finally manages to get Rozanov to the bench after repeatedly warning him, that’s when Hayden sees it.
The look on Rozanov’s face.
Hayden knows that look because he’s seen it on his own face, when Hayden was suddenly kicked out an operating room shortly after the twins were born, when Jackie had gone pale and ashen. She’d lost too much blood is what the doctors said.
That’s the face that says someone I love, no, someone I’m in love with is hurting and I can’t do a single thing to help.
* * *
He tells himself he’s hallucinating, that he’s wrong, that he was projecting, but then they release footage of the hit and Hayden watches Rozanov yell at the athletic trainers and watches the ref having to push him back and he just remembers how terrified he was.
But Rozanov isn’t gay, he dated women, was seen with particularly attractive ones.
And Shane, Shane isn’t gay. He’d just broken up with Rose Landry. Of course he isn’t gay. Although, Hayden had basically never known Shane to leave clubs with a woman.
But there was that girl Lily, that Shane always went to go see whenever they were in Bos-
Shit.
No way.
There was no fucking way.
There was no fucking way.
Of all the people in the world? Rozanov? Shane was dating Rozanov?
Hayden wonders if maybe he’d been the one to take the hit and he was concussed and hallucinating.
He watches the video again, hears Shane mumbling something as they load him into a stretch and cart him off.
Shit.
Shit.
No way.
Hayden ends up staying with their strength and conditioning coach in Boston while Shane gets cleared medically. A broken collarbone and concussion is one of the better outcomes of a hit like that. Shane will miss playoffs but shouldn’t be affected more than that.
Shane’s staying in a hotel with his parents for a few days before they fly back because his mom is paranoid about his concussion. It’s suite style so Shane has his own room and Hayden convinces Yuna and David that Shane really wants some healthy smoothies in the morning and they can only get them from a specific Whole Foods.
Hayden isn’t really sure how he’s going to go about this. He doesn’t want to accuse, accuse probably isn’t the right word, Shane of being gay or bisexual or whatever but he also knows that if Shane is gay then he’s been holding this huge secret and Hayden wants Shane to know it’s okay to come out.
He decides he won’t mention what he knows about Ilya Rozanov unless Shane wants to. Hayden knows there’s probably a more tactful way to do this but he was working with limited options.
“So, Jackie got me into RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Hayden opens. Got him into is a bit of an overstatement. Sometimes he would stand behind the couch and watch the entire episode while standing but decline Jackie inviting him to sit. “I think it’s a good show. It’s really fun. I don’t care about fashion. But I think it’s really cool that they’re out and proud.” (Google was very helpful with terminology.)
Shane looks confused. “Is there something you want to tell me, Hayden?”
Hayden shrugs. “I’m just saying. It’s a good show. I didn’t think I would like it but honestly it’s so cool to see people be so creative and to learn more about gay history.” (Google had been really helpful.) “Now more than ever it’s really important to try and understand the struggles of gay people because-“
“Did you swallow a brochure?” Shane asks.
“No,” Hayden replies. The Trevor Project wasn’t a brochure. “I’m an ally, and I think that gay people deserve the same rights as-“
“I’m gay,” Shane interrupts. “Just, please please stop talking. You’re going to give me a headache.”
Hayden frowns. Okay, maybe the Trevor Project was wrong. Maybe he should’ve tried a brochure.
“I know you’re trying to be sweet and all. And it’s sweet. It’s uh, you’re the second person to basically tell me that it’s okay to be gay.” Shane smiles. “The first was Rose.”
“That’s why you broke up?” Hayden asks.
“She was very nice about it. Apparently I’m not her first gay boyfriend. She was a theater kid.”
Hayden smiles a little at that. He doesn’t quite get it but Shane seems to find it funny.
So Shane is gay. Cool. “Also, I’m totally cool with you being gay.”
“Really?” Shane jokes. “I couldn’t tell.”
Hayden smiles. “I just want to let you know. I have your back no matter what.”
Shane’s smile falters.
“What?” Hayden asks.
“If I tell you something, you have to promise not to tell anyone, ever, no matter how pissed off you get.”
Hayden is pretty sure he knows where this going.
Sure enough, Shane says: I’m in love with Ilya Rozanov.
Hayden knows he’s supposed to feign surprise but he was expecting it and his reaction is a second too late. Shane noticed.
“You know?” Shane asks. “Is it obvious? Do other people know? Is there rumors?”
“No,” Hayden says quickly. “I only realized it a few days ago.”
“When I took the hit,” Shane says.
“Rozanov was… Rozanov was… he looked devastated. And it looked like you were trying to talk to him.”
“He looked devastated?” Shane asks.
“He looked like he didn’t know how he’d keep going if you died,” Hayden replies. “I know that look. I had that look.”
“Are you okay with it?” Shane says after a few moments. “It’s Ilya Rozanov.”
Truth be told, Hayden can’t say he’s happy. It’s Ilya Fucking Rozanov. Hating him is in Hayden’s DNA.
But he loves Shane. That much is clear.
“I mean, are you sure there’s no one else in the league that might potentially be gay?” Hayden asks. “Anyone other than Ilya Rozanov. Anyone? Hell, Jackie has gay friends.”
Shane laughs. Then says: “We’re not even dating. Just…”
Hayden does not need that mental picture.
“I’m pretty sure the love is one sided,” Shane says quietly.
“Really?” Hayden asks. “Because you didn’t see his face, Shane. He’s in love with you.”
Shane still doesn’t look like he believes it and Hayden knows he can’t make his best friend believe him. But it’s the truth.
Shane’s parents return and their conversation is ended. Hayden stays around a little longer, making sure Shane is comfortable and reassuring him again that their relationship will still be the same.
In the elevator down, Hayden thinks about how stubborn his best friend is. Of course, of all the men in the league, he had to pick one of the guys that Hayden seriously couldn’t stand. Unfortunately, Hayden was pretty sure he couldn’t keep hating someone who looked at his best friend like that.