Archive of Our Own

The strong smell of alcohol clung to the air as Seokjin wiped down the counter for the hundredth time that night. His voice was edged with weary frustration as he addressed the man sitting in front of him. "Sir, I will not serve you any more." It was probably the fifth time he was reiterating the simple statement, yet the man refused to understand. He was a regular, always coming here a bit too early into the evening and hitting the blackout mark before the clock even struck eleven.

The man shook his head and laughed. "One won't hurt, huh sweetheart?" A condescending attitude laced into his sentence. 

Seokjin frowned. He was not going to be called a sweetheart by older drunk men. The man was almost sleeping on the bar, clutching a glass of whiskey in his hand. His balding hair led him to believe that he wasn't here to look for girls but rather drown his pain in alcohol. Their bar had a policy to refuse service to anyone, especially extremely intoxicated people.

Seokjin dropped the rag and slammed his fist on the table, startling the man enough that a little bit of whiskey splashed out. "Listen here, you're so fucking drunk that I don't think you even remember where you are. You better finish up that glass and leave within the next five minutes or you will be past your bedtime and I will revoke your bar privileges."

The man looked scared, chugging the glass and getting up to rush out of the bar. Seokjin smirked, satisfied that he was able to scare drunk men easily. He wiped off the rest of the spilled drink and added the man's drinks to the running tab. It wasn't even midnight yet and the bar was already mildly busy with a cacophony of voices audible over the music.

"I have something shocking." He heard his coworker and friend say as he came towards him. He raised an eyebrow observing him as he shoved the phone in front of his face. Seokjin focused his eyes on the phone. Calligraphed in a big font was ‘Ji-ho and Hana’. “You're supposed to be shocked. Why are you not shocked?”

Seokjin shrugged, unable to connect the dots. "Invitation for Ji-ho's wedding?" Seokjin asked, confused. "So?"

Yoongi sighed and pocketed his phone. "You really don't remember?" Seokjin tried to recall facts about Ji-ho but nothing came up besides the fact that we were old friends. He shook his head. "Ji-ho was gay? He was dating that one guy from my class for years?"

Seokjin's eyes widened in realization, remembering the brief period when they had been surprised to find out Ji-ho’s sexual orientation. "Oh my god! Who is he getting married to?"

Yoongi laughed. "That's the best bit! He's marrying Hana, his boyfriend-or….ex-boyfriend's cousin."

His jaw dropped as Yoongi started laughing. "See, now that's the appropriate reaction. We have to go."

"Of course, we are going to go," Seokjin replied, as a matter-of-fact. He was about to say more, but was interrupted by a loud noise.

They heard the bell that was on the wall ring a couple of times and turned to see a young man, around their age, ringing it. Everyone in the bar cheered, happy to get a free round of drinks on this man's tab, but Seokjin rarely found young men doing this. Seokjin eyed the man as he made his way to the bar counter, his gait confident. It somehow made him look taller than he already was.

Seokjin found himself straightening up, trying to present himself better. The man had a slender build, his jawline sharp and angled. Brown hair falling over his eyes which seemed to hold all the knowledge in the world. An aura of charm pulled Seokjin in as he gave him a small smile to greet him.

"A round for the bar?" Seokjin asked. "Something exciting happened?" Yoongi snickered behind him, never having seen him converse casually with customers. Seokjin turned, shooting him a look as he said, "We'll prepare that right away, won't we?" Yoongi's snicker vanished as he glared at his friend, disgruntled to obey him in front of a customer.

Seokjin turned back to see the man smiling at him. Oh goodness, he has dimples? Seokjin’s heart clenched. "Is having your first ever book being published exciting enough?" The way he asked wasn't cocky, rather it sounded like a little kid exuding excitement over his new toy. He held out his card.

"Oh, that's amazing! Congratulations!" Seokjin exclaimed, a sense of his accomplishment enveloping him even though he just met him. He took the card, ready to add it into the register. "How long have you been working on it?"

"Oh," the man laughed, a soft melodic sound. "A long 3 years. It's hard to end up with a final result when I keep discarding all my drafts but…," he shrugged easily, a knowing smile resting on his face.

Seokjin smiled back. "Okay, what would you like to drink, sir?"

The man shook his head. "The name's Kim Namjoon," he said with a wink. "I'd like an Old fashioned."

Seokjin felt his heart stutter as he nodded. He added it and handed Namjoon his card back. Yoongi had been busy pouring the rounds for the bar, leaving him to assume that he had not heard the conversation. That wink, Seokjin didn't think it really meant anything but it was annoyingly hot. He busied himself in making his drink, humming to himself.

He could feel his eyes on him as he made the drink, noticing the way Namjoon's fingers rhythmically tapped on the table along with his humming.

A few minutes of silence passed between them, only the music in the bar filling it. He placed the drink in front of Namjoon. He smiled, his eyes twinkling as he took a swig. "Thank you Mr…," he waited, leaving space for Seokjin to give his name.

"Seokjin. Kim Seokjin."

He tilted his head at the last name, a small smirk. "Seokjin-ssi. Thank you," he said, his voice soft but firm. Seokjin felt warmth curl up in his stomach, resting there.

"Say, I've…uh…never seen you here before." Seokjin found himself leaning on the counter a little, wanting to hear him clearly over the music.  

"Well, my publishing company just called me and gave me the news. I called up my friends and found the closest bar around here." He gestured around and nodded. "The reviews do live up to the place."

With a burst of confidence, Seokjin proudly mentioned, "Well, I do maintain it quite well."

"You really do." His words were wrapped in honesty. Seokjin felt his cheeks warming, a deep crimson spreading to his ears like they usually did upon receiving compliments. Namjoon noticed, his gaze darkening a little as his eyes trailed up and down Seokjin's body, lingering on his face. Seokjin looked away.

It was a relatively busy night and the orders piled up for Yoongi, who so graciously served them while cursing Seokjin out. Seokjin busied himself with cleaning the counter multiple times. Seokjin was definitely not trying to flirt with him. Seokjin just wanted to get to know him. It's simply customer service, Seokjin told Yoongi. Yoongi snorted at that. 

"Seokjin-ssi," Namjoon perked up, having downed most of his drink. "Do you work here full time?"

Seokjin shook his head. He wouldn't give away his personal information, he thought. "No, part-time. I'm a film student by day and a babysitter by night." Damn it, I didn't mean to say that, Seokjin cursed himself silently.

"Film student?" An eyebrow cocked, a tilted head-he noticed everything about the man. "And babysitting?"

"Konkuk. Need more money till I get a stable performance. Babysitting pays well," he mumbled, gesturing around him.

Namjoon laughed, a deep rumble leaving his lips that had Seokjin wanting to hear more. "I see. Well, as my babysitter, would you serve me some whiskey, although it sounds very irresponsible?"

Seokjin chuckled, and poured him another drink. Seokjin still hovered. Namjoon was still waiting for his friends, although now his attention was entirely on his phone. Seokjin did not particularly like that, but he wasn't here to talk to a bartender. Yoongi saw Seokjin's sour expression and rolled his eyes. "The verdict?" He whispered.

Seokjin pushed him away lightly, dismissing his question with a wave of a hand. "He just wanted a drink."

"A drink, huh? You need to control yourself, you're practically drooling all over him."

"What?!" Seokjin asked, horrified. "No, I'm not!" He mumbled back defiantly. Seokjin sighed, deciding to restock the ice and shelves. Kitchen orders were pouring in and out, Seokjin noticed, as he went into the back to check the inventory. Hopefully, he wouldn't be dragged inside by the kitchen staff to help.

When he finished restocking, he saw a group had gathered by the counter. Usually, Seokjin asked them to move and leave those seats for people who were alone but he saw that they were Namjoon's friends. 

"Seokjin-ssi!" Namjoon called upon seeing him. The group's eyes turned to him and Seokjin felt a rush of warmth spread due to the sudden attention. It was a group of three people, all standing around Namjoon with smiles on their faces. One boy was leaning on him, his hand wrapped around his shoulders. A pull in Seokjin’s heart had him confused. He shook it off as he forced a smile. "Can we get 4 beers? And a plate of french fries?"

Seokjin nodded, his plastered smile flattering a little. Just as he was beginning to make the order, the boy leaning on Namjoon asked, "Seokjin as in Kim Seokjin?"

Seokjin narrowed his eyes, trying to remember if he knew this guy, but nothing came up. "Yes. Do we know each other?"

"I'm Park Jimin. Taehyung's-"

"Friend! Right," Seokjin completed. He remembered Taehyung vaguely mentioning how much he loved hanging out with this Jimin guy and that he was going to move in with him at some point, but he had never had the time to meet him. "What a small world," Seokjin said, his eyes still on his hand resting on Namjoon. 

Jimin nodded, smiling ear to ear, clearly excited. Before he could speak, Seokjin rushed into the kitchen to give their order. 

When he returned, they had moved away. They were sitting on a table, close to the dart board. One of Namjoon's friends was chucking darts at the board, while the rest of them were talking and laughing around. The one who was playing darts intrigued Seokjin as he seemed to be much younger than all of them. Seokjin served their order on the table, receiving a lot of cheers. 

That was it. Seokjin didn't get to speak to Namjoon after that. Although, he did see him and his friends having fun playing darts and then billiards. 

"Looks like they are having fun," Yoongi commented, placing a bucket of ice in front of them. "And it looks like you are burning with jealousy."

"Shut up and do your job," Seokjin snapped, sounding ruder than he expected. "Sorry. I guess…I don't know. He confused me. Tell me I'm not crazy for thinking he's really hot."

"You're not," Yoongi said, observing Namjoon. "By the looks of it, he knows it."

"I know," Seokjin sighed, burying his face in his hands. "That's what's throwing me off. Ugh, is he flirting cause he knows he's hot? Or is he even gay? Or 'cause I'm so hot?"

Yoongi laughed. "Definitely not the third. How about…you ask? Not like you haven't slept around with people."

Seokjin glared at him. "What is wrong with you? When have you ever seen me do that? Also, hooking up with someone when I'm out of my mind drunk is completely different."

Yoongi shrugged. "Eh, worth a shot. Well, I gave my advice."

"Well, it's closing time soon anyway. I guess I don't care." 

Yoongi nodded. "Sure, buddy. I'm going to start cleaning up."

Seokjin scrunched his nose in annoyance. Closing time meant wrangling up the drunk people like toddlers and telling them it was time to go home. He started with the group of older women, who called him handsome many times as he told them to leave in the next few minutes. He made his way through the bar. By the time he reached Namjoon's table, most of the people had emptied, a couple of people still finishing their drinks and food. 

"Hello, we are going to be closing soon! Please finish up your food and drinks before 1 am."

Namjoon was watching him, his cheeks flushed red from the alcohol. "Of course!" He replied, his words slurred slightly, but trying his best to hold Seokjin's gaze.

The rest of the group seemed drunk as well, except for the youngest. Jimin seemed sloshed, leaning on the poor maknae who was staring at his plate in distaste.

Seokjin left them, going back to the counter and checking the tabs. He also updated the amount of bottles finished for the day.

The bar had cleared out save from Namjoon's group of friends. They got up right before the clock hit one and started leaving. Namjoon came to the counter. His gait was less confident now, his hair messy.

He pulled out his wallet from his pocket. "I guess no tab for new people?"

Seokjin nodded, a little hesitant as he said, "Well, I could make an exception….only because you will have to come back and give us more profit..of course," he added.

Namjoon chuckled, the sound deeper now and Seokjin felt weak in the knees. Namjoon’s were steady on him as he asked, "So, it's purely for profit?"

Seokjin swallowed, bobbed his head up and down. "Uh-huh. Purely."

Namjoon drew closer, his breath fanning Seokjin's face, reeking of alcohol. Seokjin was suddenly thankful for the counter between them. "I'll be back then," his voice a low whisper. A shiver ran down his back as he watched Namjoon leave. He quickly edited Namjoon's record, putting it as paid because first-timers don't get tabs. 

....

Yoongi was lying on the couch, grumbling about something that Seokjin had not been listening to. Seokjin had been on every social media app he could find to look for this Kim Namjoon but most of the profiles had no pictures, no posts, and barely any friends. He sighed, locking his phone. 

"When's Taehyungie getting here?" Seokjin asked. "I'm bored."

"Ya! I've been asking for life advice here and you're bored?"

Seokjin rolled his eyes. "Your life problems revolve around money, Yoongs. We both have that issue and I really don't want to talk about that now."

"This was serious though!" He insisted. "I was asking if I should quit."

"Quit?" Seokjin's neck whipped to Yoongi and he shook his head. "Don't. Please. I will die."

"Stop being dramatic, hyung." Yoongi rubbed his temples. 

"I'm serious. I actually hate the job. Please stay."

"But it takes up my entire evening-our entire evening. Have you even started your assignments?"

"Yeah, 'cause I don't attend half of my classes. I told you to do the same thing but you wouldn't listen."

"I'm studying maths, not fucking acting where I can miss out a few classes and it will all be okay."

"Okay. You quit, then what? Who's paying your rent?" Seokjin heard keys outside the door. "That shitty roommate of yours who isn't even home half the time?"

"I am now!" Taehyung announced upon opening the door, a bunch of bags in his hands. "Also, I'm not that shitty. I'm just leaving him to live with Jimin." He dropped the bags on the counter, smiling at them.

Both of them shot him a nasty look and Taehyung held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I'm a shitty roommate, but I'm a good friend. Listen, if you need me to pay your share and stay here a while, I will. Just say the word."

Yoongi shook his head. "No, Seokjin's right. I can't just quit my job. I won't find a good pay like that."

Taehyung nodded as he sat on the floor beside Seokjin. "I guess but I can at least help you look for something that would not have longer hours and decent pay."

Yoongi smiled and ruffled Taehyung's hair. "Maybe you're not that shitty of a roommate."

"That's right!" Taehyung smirked, an air of satisfaction surrounding him. 

"So, Taehyung-ah, you know this guy called Namjoon?"

"Kim Namjoon? That writer guy?”

Seokjin bobbed his head. "That's the one."

"Yeah, well I only met him once or twice. All I know about him is that he was working on a book for a long time and I think he's finally publishing it."

"That's all you know about him?" Seokjin frowned, disappointed. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and got up. "I cannot listen to this whining anymore." He left the room, Seokjin glaring at this back the whole time.

"Jimin and Jungkook live together. Namjoon hyung lives with Hoseok hyung."

"What? Wait, so you are moving in with Jimin and Jungkook? Do you even get your own room?"

Taehyung blushed. "I..no…"

"Why are you moving in with Jimin, Tae?" Seokjin demanded. He hadn't thought of asking this before.

Taehyung shrugged. "I just…." He trailed off on seeing Seokjin's annoyed face. "Okay. I like him. There I said it."

Seokjin arched an eyebrow. "And?"

"And I don't know if he likes me back. But I may have lied to him and told him that my roommate was shifting out this summer, instead of the next and he offered his room since it's pretty big and they wouldn't mind splitting the rent."

Seokjin gasped. "You're a fraud!"

Taehyung pursed his lips. "If you say it that way…"

"No, Taehyung-ah, you have to tell him the truth! Why are you lying to him?"

"Because it doesn't matter. I don't know if he even likes me back. I know he's gay, he told me but…it's just he's so affectionate with everyone. What if I'm reading all of it wrong and being stupid?"

"You very well could be," Seokjin said pointedly.

"But what if I'm right?"

"You won't know unless you ask him. Because if you don't and things go wrong later on, what are you going to do? What if he says he doesn't feel that way and you're already living with him?"

"You think too much," Taehyung accused him.

"You don't think at all."

"Fuck you. Why do you want to know about Namjoon hyung?" 

It was Seokjin's turn for a confession but he wasn't willing to divulge much. "Nothing…he just came to the bar that day and hasn't paid."

"He left without paying? That doesn't sound like him."

"No…I put it on the tab-"

"Wait! You put him on the tab but I'm still not! What the fuck?"

Seokjin laughed. "Like you can afford a tab, my guy. Anyways, let's play something, Yoongi is so old he bored the shit out of me." Seokjin only prayed that Taehyung would drop the topic. 

"Let's." Luckily he did.

....

It was around five in the evening when Seokjin was just getting the bar ready that he saw Namjoon again after a week had passed. He had been cutting lemons for the drinks when he walked in wearing a black tux, his hair brushed to the side.

"Am I too early?"

Seokjin gulped. He felt weak in the knees as he ogled at the man. "No, you're at the perfect time." The bar was empty save for the two of them.

Namjoon stood there, his hands in his pockets. He seemed to consider something and then pulled out his wallet. "I'd like to settle my tab."

Seokjin tilted his head. "Oh no, no. I thought you were going to keep giving us profit."

Namjoon smirked and put his wallet back into his pocket. "Okay. Well, I'd like your best non-alcoholic drink."

"Non-alcoholic?" Seokjin asked. Odd request as not many came to the bar asking for that.

Namjoon grabbed the blazer with both his hands pulling it close and buttoning it. "I have a chance to advertise my book in the bookstore here. It's a pretty big deal. Hence, the tux."

"How many copies have been printed?"

"So far 150, but I'm hoping to sell at least 200 in the first year."

"I think you'll sell much more."

Namjoon didn't say anything, simply watched as Seokjin made him his drink. Seokjin felt a hint of pressure but the drink turned out looking good. Namjoon took a big sip and nodded in approval. "Really is the best here, huh?"

"Anything I make is the best," Seokjin said smugly.

Namjoon laughed. "Well, I'm not going to disagree. I have some time to kill though." He gestured at the pool table. "Billiards?"

Seokjin bit his lip. He wasn't allowed to indulge in things like this on duty but there was no one around. What harm would that do?

Namjoon holding the cue had Seokjin a little worried after he saw him trip on literal air. He almost poked himself in the eye and accidentally poked the hem of Seokjin's apron. Seokjin, on the other hand, was on fire. He was hitting his shots. It was funny, the man looked so poised and composed, yet was clumsier than anyone he had met.

"You're studying film, right?" Namjoon asked as he straightened up after missing his shot and gesturing at Seokjin to go.

"That's correct." Seokjin leaned on the table, eyeing the ball. He hit his shot and it landed smoothly into the pocket, earning a whistle from Namjoon.

"Have you done any theatricals?"

"Of course. We all start out small. I've done modeling as well."

"I wouldn't be surprised…," Namjoon smiled. Then hesitated. "I mean…by your looks…." He drifted off, his stare fixated on his features.

Seokjin had been complimented many times before, although coming from Namjoon, he felt something warm settle deep into his stomach. Heat rose to his cheeks and he looked away, moving round the table to hit his shot from another angle. He missed, huffing a little. "Thank you. I..uh..heard from Tae that you were just working on the book on the side?"

Namjoon shook his head. "Not exactly. To make it simple, I am majoring in liberal arts and one of the courses happens to be English. I am also majoring in philosophy. Essentially, my book is a cluster fuck of multiple things." He moved past Seokjin, adjusting to hit the ball, and finally made it. 

Seokjin laughed. "Is this how you are presenting in the bookstore?" 

Namjoon studied him intently. Moments passed and he shifted his gaze to the game. "Why don't you come and find out?" He asked, his attention still on the game.

Seokjin shook his head and felt silly as Namjoon wasn't looking at him. "I can't leave my shift, Namjoon-ssi."

Namjoon came close to him, stopping mere feet away from him. Seokjin could smell his cologne and a hint of leather. "How about I bring the presentation to you when you aren't working?"

Electricity coursed through him for seconds until Namjoon broke eye contact and allowed him to play his turn. His tightened chest loosened a little and he breathed a little sigh. This was flirting, wasn't it? "Do I get an autograph as well?" He joked, hoping to diffuse the sexual tension in the air.

"You can get more than an autograph."

Seokjin moved back, staring at Namjoon in the dim lighting of the empty bar. He was now leaning on the wall, applying the chalk to the tip of the cue looking unbelievably hot in the tux. A slight scent of chalk was in the air as Namjoon continued to look at Seokjin, waiting for his next move.

He didn't know what came over him but he felt a burst of confidence as went closer to the man. Close enough for Namjoon to gulp and his confident posture flattered. He could see his cheeks reddening as Seokjin reached and took the chalk from Namjoon's hand, the touch lingering for what felt like hours but was only a second. 

"I'd like to see what that is," he murmured, his voice husky. Namjoon's eyes locked with his, darkening. Seokjin knew he had an effect on people but this was different. A thrill of trying to break the other all the while not knowing what the other one really wanted. Seokjin smirked slightly and then moved back, taking the chalk with him. The moment passed.

Seokjin won the game. Not the seduction one but definitely the pool game. Namjoon left soon after for his presentation. Seokjin, yet again, put his tab as paid. He was still a first-timer.

….

"What the fuck were you guys doing?" Yoongi questioned the next day. It was quite a gloomy day and Seokjin wondered why they decided to sit on the football field for lunch instead of inside the cafeteria. 

"What? Who? When?" Seokjin asked through a mouthful of rice.

Yoongi scrunched his nose in disgust. "Don't talk while eating. I hate it. And Sang-hoon saw it all. He was so traumatized he didn't leave the kitchen till you guys were done."

"Okay, first of all, y'all are making it sound like we fucked. Which we didn't because if we did, God, believe me, you would know. Second of all, we were just playing pool."

"While trying your best to undress the other with your looks."

Seokjin rolled his eyes at Yoongi's statement. He dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "Whatever. You're being dramatic. I thought you had bigger problems to worry about."

"My biggest problem is you. I need to get rid of you."

"Nah, you love me too much."

Yoongi sighed, his face full of disappointment but he stayed till Seokjin finished his lunch and even dropped him off till his class. Because Yoongi loved his hyung.

…

Seokjin hadn't intended to go to the bookstore near the pub but the thought of their conversation that day persisted. Namjoon's book would be there. He bought it without further thought and headed home, a mixture of anticipation and excitement within him.

A week later, Seokjin stood behind the bar counter, finishing up the last few pages of Namjoon’s book. He would be lying if he didn’t say that the book surpassed all his expectations. He could see that the man had poured his heart and soul into the work, the passion increasing with the turn of each page. If only Seokjin could write like this. A sigh escaped his lips as he reached the end of the book, disappointed there wasn’t more to it. He closed the book, leaving it on the counter as his eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. “Oh, fuck,” he mumbled, realizing it was almost one. People were still around, dancing and singing as if competing to be louder than the music that poured out from the speakers. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Seokjin turned off the speaker, earning loud slurs and curses from everyone. “Can it! Go home, everybody.”

Yoongi rushed from behind him, bowing to the people and explaining that it was time for them to close up. “If you didn’t want to tell them to leave, you could have told me about it. Don’t be rude,” Yoongi hissed at him and went towards the door to close up. Seokjin laughed as he started cleaning the tables.

They stepped out of the bar, Yoongi locking the doors behind them while Seokjin waited. It was quite cold and he had forgotten his coat. Yoongi turned, handing Seokjin the key, as it was his turn to open it back up the next day. They only worked three times a week, but the long hours were taxing, especially to Yoongi who was still on the hunt for a new job. Just as Seokjin was about to say something, he stilled, eyes locking in on the familiar figure walking towards them.

“Shit, I thought I would make it here before-” Namjoon stopped, staring at the book in Seokjin’s hand. 

“If you would like a drink, there’s a pub quite close which is open all night.”

Yoongi snorted behind him and left, knowing Seokjin would eventually join Namjoon. Namjoon watched Yoongi leave and turned back to Seokjin, who hadn’t moved.

“Would you keep me company?”

Seokjin smiled. “Well, I was promised an autograph.”

This pub was quite different from where Seokjin worked. It was busy, resembling more of a nightclub. The music was much louder but there were some tables far off into the corner where it seemed quieter. They both got beers and sat at the quieter table. It was a small table, their feet touching. “I have to ask. Did you like the book?”

Seokjin took a sip of his beer, glancing at the book. “I would if it didn’t end like this.”

Namjoon’s eyes lit up as he smiled. “There’s a second part. Hopefully….soon. But I can’t promise anything.”

Seokjin nodded. “On a serious note, I’ve never been this invested in a bunch of words being put together before.”

Namjoon let out a surprised laugh. “Interesting way of describing a book.”

“No, but it's so good. You're a brilliant writer. I never expected the book to literally drag me through hell and back to heaven. God, does he really hate his father that much to kill him?”

“I can't tell you that. You gotta wait for the next one.”

Seokjin scoffed. “Damn, I thought I would get special treatment. Have you already started working on the second one?”

Namjoon nodded, finishing up his beer. “Indeed. Let's just say it's nowhere near publishing.”

“Ah, guess I'll just die in suspense.”

Namjoon laughed. “Stick around and you might get special treatment.”

Seokjin locked eyes with him, his heart beating a little faster than it was supposed. “I see,” he mumbled. “So, you go to Sejong.” It was a feeble attempt to change the topic, but it worked and Namjoon started talking about his university, giving Seokjin a little air to breathe.

This exchange continued. The buzz of alcohol had reached them both eventually and they were casually dancing around each other with each flirty look. Namjoon was different from the men Seokjin had met before. Never had Seokjin ever wanted to be taken apart by someone he had just met. Stranger danger and all that. 

Seokjin got up, swaying a little, because it had been a while since he had drank like this. Namjoon’s eyes were already searching his, questioning. “I need to pee,” Seokjin supplied, far from the eloquence Namjoon had displayed all night. Namjoon then got up, holding Seokjin's wrist. 

“I can help.”

“You’re going to help me pee?” Seokjin asked, teasing him but Namjoon’s gaze remained steady on him. Seokjin gulped, feeling a little scared because he was losing. He was losing to this attractive, burly man who was younger than him! He guided him to the washrooms, leaning on the wall outside. Seokjin had to take a breather before he came back out, because how can someone look this good in simple jeans and a t-shirt?

Namjoon hadn’t moved from his place, staring intently at Seokjin, almost daring him on. Seokjin’s guts twisted instinctively as moved closer to him. He only hoped Namjoon would stop him, but most of him wanted Namjoon to challenge him. They were inches away, both of them breathing the same air. Seokjin saw his beautiful almond eyes in full glory, his skin soft under his fingers as he reached out to stroke his cheek. A sharp intake from Namjoon was enough for Seokjin's control to shatter. He closed the space between them, slotting their lips together. The kiss was far from the tension that had been brewing between them. A warm mouth moved in sync with his, the taste of beer hitting him. The kiss was tender-so tender as Namjoon’s hand moved up his waist to his neck. Seokjin tilted his neck, deepening the kiss and his hand blindly reached for Namjoon’s hair-soft, soft. In mere seconds, the kiss turned hotter than either of them expected with Namjoon licking into his mouth and Seokjin’s entire body on fire. “I-I-I,” Namjoon was mumbling, his words cut short because of Seokjin. Seokjin moved back, looking at the smitten eyes and wet lips in front of him. What a sight, he thought as his heart clenched. “I live close by.”

Seokjin giggled as Namjoon grabbed his wrist, dragging him to their table to get his book. The bass thumped loudly, bodies passing by in a blur as Seokjin licked his lips. They rushed outside, the tension between them high. Every time their hands brushed, Seokjin felt a shock go through him. 

They hailed a cab waiting outside, probably for someone else, but they didn't have time for that. They smushed inside, the heat from Namjoon making Seokjin's head spin. Namjoon barked out an address and the driver sped off. 

Namjoon looked at him, smirking. He rested his hand on Seokjin's thigh, earning a gasp from Seokjin. “Here?” Seokjin hissed, using his book as a shield.

Namjoon pushed him against the door, hands palming him through the fabric. Seokjin bit back a moan, his resolve weakening. 

The car ride was hell. The tension was so thick, he wondered what the driver thought. Must be the reason why he was speeding up every chance he got. 

When they reached, he thanked every entity because he doubted he would survive much longer. Namjoon paid the driver and pushed Seokjin out, hands on his ass. “You little-” Seokjin managed before Namjoon hurried off, rushing to the apartment complex.

The minute the door closed behind them, Seokjin was pinned to it, Namjoon kissing him roughly. “Off. Shoes,” he said between kisses.

Seokjin nodded, kicking off his shoes, watching the other do the same. The apartment was dark, his eyes barely adjusting to it before Namjoon had pulled him into a room, closing the door. He heard the lock slide into place and Namjoon turned to look at him, smirking. Seokjin carelessly dropped the book somewhere, pulling Namjoon by the neck and kissing him deeply. Long lost was the hesitation and softness, replaced entirely by hunger. 

Namjoon pulled him flush against his body. His hands roamed under Seokjin's shirt, sending a shiver down his spine. “Off,” Seokjin grunted, tugging at Namjoon's shirt.

Namjoon laughed into his mouth. In one swift motion, he pulled off Seokjin's shirt. “Finally,” he muttered, biting down and sucking hard on Seokjin's neck, leaving marks. Seokjin groaned, tilting his neck, tugging at the other's hair. Heat flared as their hips grinded

against each other. Namjoon gripped Seokjin's thigh, hitching it around his waist. The friction made Seokjin let out a desperate moan, causing Namjoon's mouth to follow the sound and kiss him roughly.

They stumbled toward the bed, hands frantic as clothes were pulled off, sounds of zippers pulled down and buttons undoing. By the time Seokjin's back hit the mattress with Namjoon hovering over him, they were naked, no layer of clothing between them.

“Pretty,” Namjoon muttered, staring down at Seokjin. Seokjin felt his ears turn red but he didn't let Namjoon see that as he looped his hands around his neck, crashing their lips together. Teeth clashed as they breathed into each other's mouths, moans and groans swallowed. Seokjin's lips were already swollen-he could feel it-but he didn't care. Namjoon's hands trailed down his body, hands slipping down to this crotch and wrapping around his cock.

Seokjin arched helplessly off the bed, desperately gripping at Namjoon's hair. “Namjoon, fucking please-,” his head fell back against the pillows, eyes squeezing shut as Namjoon stroke it. “Fuck-”

Namjoon swore, his own cock throbbing at Seokjin's moans. Seokjin was already trembling. He yanked Namjoon down, kissing him messily, desperately. “Please,” he hissed into Namjoon's mouth.  

Namjoon pulled away, rummaging into the bedside drawer and pulling out lube and a condom. He put it on swiftly, barely wasting time and poured lube on his hands.

Namjoon's slicked fingers slid against Seokjin's entrance, earning a whimper from him. “Relax, baby,” Namjoon growled, causing Seokjin to shiver. His eyes had a look, almost like a prey hunting and he liked seeing it. Namjoon pushed a finger in and Seokjin arched off the bed. Namjoon held him down, working quickly to prep him. 

“Fuck that,” Seokjin's groaned. “Now,” he demanded. Who was Namjoon to deny that? Namjoon lined himself up, pushing into Seokjin slowly at first. “God, hurry-. ”

That was enough for Namjoon. He slammed hard and rough and Seokjin saw stars. “So good,” Namjoon mumbled. The thrusts were shallow at first. Seokjin wasn't satisfied.  

“Faster,” he gasped out as Namjoon stroked his cock which was helplessly against his stomach. Namjoon obliged, one hand twisting into his hair as he fucked into him harder, the other on his cock. Seokjin had wrapped his hands around Namjoon’s hips, his nails digging into the other.

The thrusts got faster, Namjoon rutting into him as he leaned forward to kiss Seokjin's open mouth. Namjoon moved his hands to Seokjin's hips, holding him into position. Seokjin wrapped his legs around Namjoon's waist, the position change making him shake. “I'm close, I'm close-” Seokjin mumbled, barely coherent. Namjoon had moved on to his chest, his collarbone, lips teasing his skin. 

“So good, so pretty,” Namjoon panted into Seokjin's ear. The compliment made him shudder, a moan spilling out of his mouth.

“I'm gonna-” He gasped as Namjoon kept hitting the same spot until Seokjin came, spilling over his stomach and chest. Namjoon chased his own release, fucking into him as Seokjin barely held on, his body overly sensitive. 

Namjoon buried deep, his voice erratic. “Fuck Seokjin-” he said, thrusting hard. Seokjin gripped on with his nails, letting out a moan and that did it. A tight squeeze as Namjoon spilled into the condom, his thrusts stuttering as he collapsed onto Seokjin, moaning into his neck. They laid there, chests heaving. The room was filled with the sounds of their breath, skin slick between them with sweat.

Namjoon pulled out of him, rolling off Seokjin with a groan. “Fuck, that was insane,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah,” Seokjin replied, barely present. Namjoon got up, heading to the bathroom. When he came back out, he had taken the condom off and came back with a towel.

Most of Seokjin's hookups ended up in Seokjin cleaning himself, but this was a first. Namjoon hesitated at first, as if asking Seokjin if it was okay. Seokjin nodded and Namjoon wiped him off with the towel.

“You can clean up more in the bathroom,” Namjoon said softly.

Namjoon handed him another towel and Seokjin headed to the bathroom, his body sore. But he liked this sore. He saw the purple bruises on his neck and let out a small smile. This wasn't too bad. 

After he freshened up and came back out, Namjoon had dressed himself in only sweatpants, resting on the bed. Seokjin put on his clothes, settling in beside him.

The comforter was warm as Seokjin slipped under it, sighing a little. “Good?” Namjoon asked.

Seokjin let out a small laugh. “Are you asking for a rating?”

“Hell yeah, gotta know how to improve my game,” he said. Seokjin could hear the smile.

“You're ridiculous,” Seokjin said, shaking his head.

“Gotta be known for something. Hey, turn around.”

Seokjin turned around and a peck was placed on his lips. “Goodnight, hyung.”

“Goodnight,” Seokjin replied back, a smile fighting for its place on his face.

And that was enough. Seokjin didn’t realize the weight of what had happened. 

The next morning he woke to an empty room that was bathing in sunlight. The room was filled with multiple collectibles which made Seokjin happy as he was guilty of the same. He saw posters of multiple rappers he didn't recognize stuck hastily onto the wall and a shelf full of CDs and books. A wall was covered in sticky notes with books strewn across a table. A pile of clothes was pushed toward the closet, in an attempt to make the room look cleaner. Seokjin chuckled.

On the bedside table next to him was his book with a sticky note. I'm so sorry. I forgot about an 8 am. There's food in the kitchen. Please have breakfast. PS: I kept my promise.

And then, as if scrawled as an afterthought, was Namjoon's number.

He took the book in his hand, opening it and smiling upon seeing Namjoon's signature. He felt a sense of pride that he slept with someone like that.

Seokjin did have breakfast in the empty apartment, not seeing Namjoon's roommate anywhere. The breakfast was eggs and bacon, which had almost been burnt but Seokjin appreciated the effort. He then left the house, locking it on his way out. He had a class in the afternoon that he really couldn't miss. Purple bruises marked his skin and he was sore-a good sore that he hoped to get again with Namjoon.

....

"We know what you did!" Both Yoongi and Taehyung were singing in unison after so rudely breaking into Seokjin's house a few days later.

Seokjin frowned. "Did what?"

"Did what?" Taehyung said mockingly. "You know, don't play dumb, hyung."

Seokjin rolled his eyes. "So I slept with him! Unlike you," he said, sticking his tongue out at Taehyung.

"Finally, I don't have to watch you guys flirt in the bar," Yoongi sighed, crashing onto Seokjin's bed.

"Ya! I just cleaned that."

"Are you going to…"

"Repeat? I don't know," Seokjin replied honestly. "He's so hot. If he's up for it…who knows."

Taehyung giggled. "I can easily find that out."

"Wait, did Namjoon tell you?"

"Nah, Hoseok did," Yoongi piped in. "Hoseok is Namjoon's roommate and also the guy in my composition minor."

"Oh…oh I forgot his roommate probably heard us in the night."

"Boy, he sure did," Yoongi smirked. "Please!" Yoongi exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. Seokjin threw the textbook in his hand which landed on Yoongi's stomach.

….

It had been a week but Seokjin was too scared to text Namjoon. Had he left the number to be polite or did he want Seokjin to text him?

He was still debating over it when Namjoon showed up in the bar again, this time at the peak hour. Seokjin was busy taking orders and mixing drinks that he hadn't noticed Namjoon leaning against the counter, watching him with a steady gaze. 

When he had finished serving quite a huge group, Namjoon piped in, "Can you serve the loner here or does he have to settle his tab?"

Seokjin's neck snapped up to him, a wave of surprise passing through him. He was dressed in a simple hoodie and jeans, definitely not the outfit for a bar. "Oh, Namjoon-"

"I mean, I can settle it," Namjoon continued.

"No, we have a special…for hot writers," Seokjin said with a wink. 

"Hot writer, huh? Did my message get lost in translation then?"

Seokjin turned red in embarrassment. "I-..well, I would have sent it." Namjoon was staring at him, his eyes giving away nothing. Seokjin placed a cocktail in front of him and leaned in. "Although, I wouldn't get to see this, now would I?"

Namjoon looked at Seokjin, anticipating the rest of the night. They talked whenever Seokjin was a little free and eventually, Namjoon waited for Seokjin to close up. They lingered on the thought of going to another bar until Seokjin said, "My house is pretty close by…"

So they walked to Seokjin's apartment, hands touching, and the moment they entered his apartment, Namjoon had him pinned against the door, his lips locked onto the elder's.

A more desperate, more hasty exchange of pleasure was carried out, much different from the last time. This time they both were more impatient. Both of their hands roamed the other's body, tugging at the clothing. Rough, yet gentle, electrifying touches marked Seokjin's body. Engulfed by the man's musky scent, Seokjin enjoyed the thrill that they had been chasing for the days prior.

Namjoon now was a little familiar with Seokjin's body, although far from understanding it fully. But somehow, Seokjin found this endearing. The careful way his hands would wrap around his waist and the softness of his lips on his skin-it was far from perfect but he liked it. This time was way better than their first time together.

This time, Namjoon stayed the night. Seokjin realized the way they softly cuddled, but Namjoon had a hint of alcohol in him, so Seokjin let the feeling pass.

.

Seokjin woke first, embarrassment rising as he untangled himself from Namjoon. He hadn't realized when he had thrown his leg over the other. Namjoon stirred, blinking. He looked around, his eyes filling with confusion for a fleeting second until it passed.

He then realized he wasn't wearing any clothes and buried himself into the comforter. Seokjin snorted. "As if I didn't see it all already."

Namjoon poked his head out from the comforter and sighed. "Fair enough."

Seokjin laughed, getting up and going to freshen up. By the time Seokjin started cooking breakfast, he had a fully dressed and fully fresh Namjoon sitting at the kitchen island, waiting. He wondered how an intellectual man as such was sitting in his little apartment, listening to him speak absolute nonsense because Seokjin was nervous. He had never had breakfast with one-night stands…or in this case, two. 

Namjoon was just listening to him yap about how studying film was actually a scam because why was he still writing papers? Namjoon would hold his gaze steady, eyes fixated on Seokjin the entire time, his fingers drumming lightly as he listened intently. He would pipe in, giving his opinion every so often. Seokjin felt much more naked than the night before. 

Hot bowls of rice, scrambled eggs, and kimchi were placed on the table. Namjoon's eyes sparkled as he looked at the food. A sense of pride overwhelmed Seokjin. They sat side by side, silent as their knees touched. It was ridiculous how it fit so well but it really shouldn't have.

Namjoon left after that, a chaste kiss placed on his cheek, almost an afterthought. Although, his lips seemed to linger on Seokjin's cheek.

....

Loud noises overwhelmed them as they walked into the bar. "Why am I..," Seokjin was complaining under his breath, annoyed that Yoongi dragged him to this place on his one free Sunday. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "For once, just listen to me." They sat down at a table facing the stage. There was an MC hyping everybody up, but Seokjin had no idea what was going on. "I know something you don't!" Yoongi said in a sing-song voice.

Seokjin rolled his eyes. "Did you see us leave the bar? I wasn't really trying to hide it."

Yoongi shook his head. "Well, that's not what I meant." He ordered them two beers. "That doesn't really concern me," he said with a smirk. "Although….twice, huh? Is this-"

"I thought…it doesn't concern you?" The waiter got them the beers and the crowd suddenly got louder. They turned their attention to the stage, a gasp issuing from Seokjin as he saw a familiar figure walk on stage. It was him. Namjoon stood there microphone in hand with a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and god, sunglasses! Atrocious! Sunglasses indoors? But Seokjin couldn't deny the hammering in his chest as Namjoon cheered the crowd on. Behind him, another person came on stage, someone he had seen with Namjoon before at the bar, but had never been introduced to.

"See, now this does concern me," Yoongi said, grinning ear to ear.

Seokjin glared at him, but before he could think up a snide remark, beats started thumping through the speakers. The table before them cheered loudly and with a start, Seokjin realized it was the rest of Namjoon's friends. Yoongi had definitely planned this but he didn't have time to think about that because Namjoon started rapping. Out of all the things, rap? It was hard imagining someone like Namjoon rapping but it somehow fit when the performance continued.

His lyrics were impeccable, hitting the correct political issues in the softest yet most impactful way possible. His voice was husky and raspy, melting Seokjin on the spot. Hoseok eventually started his part and he was good, too. The performance wrapped up soon after. After the last word, Seokjin let go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Twice, huh? Coincidence?" Yoongi questioned playfully. 

Seokjin snapped out of the little trance he was trapped in and narrowed his eyes at Yoongi. "I don't know what you're insinuating but you're wrong. It's just easier with someone familiar."

Yoongi held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, Jin hyung. Hoseok asked me to get a plus one and more, so I got you and Taehyung…although, he's clearly late."

Seokjin didn't reply as he watched Namjoon make his way to his friends' table, completely oblivious to him. His friend stopped by the table, saying something to the group, and made his way to their table. 

He was smiling, an infectious smile to which they both greeted him. "Did you like the performance?"

"You were incredible!" Seokjin assured him. Yoongi agreed. 

"By the way, I'm Hoseok," he introduced himself, smiling widely. "I'm Namjoon's roommate."

Seokjin blushed a little, remembering what Yoongi had told him, and nodded. "I'm Seokjin…Yoongi's only friend."

"Hyung…," Yoongi sighed. 

Hoseok laughed. "I see. Wait, Joon-ah!" He turned back, calling him.

Namjoon looked up, his eyes finally falling on their table and then on Seokjin. He seemed a little surprised but it was gone in a second as Namjoon came and stopped beside Hoseok. His lips turned upwards as he introduced himself to Yoongi. "So you've met Seokjin-ssi already?" Hoseok teased Namjoon.

Namjoon nodded. "Of course, we met at the bar. Did you forget?" His words were not rude, yet had a firmness to it which had Hoseok a little taken aback.

Seokjin coughed. "Are those your friends?* He asked, changing the subject.

Hoseok nodded, gesturing for them to come over. "This is Jimin who you've met, and his cousin, Jungkook," he said, tousling the younger’s hair.

“And I’m Taehyung!” Taehyung yelled, jumping into the conversation. He had a few bags of groceries in his hand and displayed his boxy smile proudly as he made his way through the group and sat down on the empty chair. “Wait, why is everybody standing around? Did I miss anything?”

Seokjin chuckled, shaking his head. “Nothing, Tae. They were all joining us, anyway.” Seokjin looked up, his eyes on Namjoon as he said that, but Namjoon’s face revealed nothing as they joined the three of them.

The evening wore on, conversations flowing. Seokjin and Namjoon seemed to be trying their hardest not to act like they knew each other too much, but Seokjin didn’t know why. They just slept together, they didn’t have to make it a big deal. The rest of his friends were great. Jimin and Hoseok were starting to grow on him, but Jungkook was very quiet.

Taehyung obviously liked Jimin a lot, but Jimin really did seem to be touchy with anyone and everyone. It was an endearing quality yet Seokjin was worried for Taehyung, who was moving in with him in just a few days.

They had finished their dinner and downed quite a few drinks but not enough to be completely off the rails. Seokjin felt the buzz of alcohol settling in him, glad to have it under control since he had class the next morning. Seokjin excused himself from the table to use the washroom. On his way there, he saw Namjoon outside the bar, leaning against the wall as the light fell over him. He was still talking on the phone and his shoulders seemed a little too tense. It had been a while since he had left and it made Seokjin wonder what the phone call was about. Shrugging it off, he went to freshen up.

When he came back out, he nearly tripped over someone who was trying to come inside. "I'm so sorry," Seokjin apologized, not really seeing who it was until the familiar scent made him look up.

Namjoon stood there, his cheeks reddened from the cold outside. He smelt like smoke, probably due to all the smokers kicked outside of the pub. "There you are," Namjoon said softly.

Seokjin took in a shaky breath. They were shielded from the rest of the pub, the washrooms in a secluded area. "You were great," Seokjin said after a few beats, eyes on him. 

He smirked slightly. "Was I?"

Seokjin nodded. "I didn't know you rapped."

"A hobby," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"What else do you do? As a hobby."

"Lots of things. I would love to show you…if you're interested." Namjoon stepped into his personal space and Seokjin's lungs were suddenly out of air.

Namjoon saw this, smirking even more, and hooked a finger under Seokjin's chin, kissing him softly. Their kisses never stayed soft because, in the next second, Seokjin was pushed into the wall as he kissed him back roughly. "God, you looked so hot up there," Seokjin managed to say between their kisses.

"Oh? You liked that, huh baby?" Seokjin swore he moaned loud enough for the entire place to hear over the music blasting through the speakers. "Wait till you hear the verse I wrote about you."

Seokjin blinked. And suddenly they were both looking at each other, panting slightly. Namjoon was confused as to why Seokjin had pulled away. "You what? You wrote about me?"

"Well…I am," Namjoon stammered. "I'm a writer. I write about everything…" His words didn't sound convincing but then again, what would he be lying about? 

Seokjin nodded. "Oh yeah, Mr. Writer. Hot, hot..very hot." Before Namjoon could reply, Seokjin had grabbed his collar, messily kissing him again. This went on for a minute or so until Namjoon's phone buzzed in his pocket and he let out a frustrated huff. 

"I uh…I really have to attend this. It's also getting late…maybe, we can pick this up another time?" He asked, hesitant, eyes searching the other's.

Seokjin almost asked him what the call was about, but it seemed too personal for their casual relationship. So, he just nodded. "Everything okay?"

Namjoon was looking at his phone, having moved away from Seokjin, taking the warmth with him. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Everything…is fine," Namjoon replied curtly. "Goodnight, Seokjin-ssi."

…

Seokjin stared at his phone, Namjoon's number glaring back at him. It had been seven days (not that he had been counting) since he had last seen Namjoon. 

"Hyung, is that box packed?" Taehyung asked, holding tape and scissors in his hand. Yoongi was dismantling Taehyung's bed, and Seokjin was organizing all his stuff into boxes since Taehyung was moving out. Yoongi wasn't very happy about it, but Taehyung finally told Jimin the truth about his little crush, and Jimin confessed right after. They hadn't started dating, but they were getting there. Yoongi had been complaining about not having a roommate, although he was happy for the younger boy.

"No, I..uh..I'm still packing."

"He's busy looking at his phone. Just text him already." Yoongi rolled his eyes. 

Seokjin shook his head. “It’s not what you both are thinking.”

Yoongi threw a rolled-up paper ball at him. “If you don’t, I will.”

Seokjin paled. “Oh, god, no. I’d rather drown myself than let you text people from my contacts.”

Taehyung sighed. “Guys, can you argue later? Half the room is still unpacked, and I have a dinner date with Jimin later.”

Seokjin grumbled under his breath about Taehyung’s ungratefulness but started packing diligently. 

When they finally finished packing and said their goodbyes, Seokjin stood on Yoongi’s balcony, mustering up the courage to text Namjoon. He didn’t know why he was even texting him in the first place. They barely knew anything about each other. He sighed and shrugged the tension off. It didn’t matter. 

hi, this is seokjin

He decided to leave it at that, hoping Namjoon would reply eventually. He had dinner with Yoongi and when it was starting to get late, he decided to head home. 

His messages were still empty and his hopes fell a little. Maybe Namjoon wanted nothing to do with him. It was weird he was letting it affect him so much. Maybe he should just let it go and not think about him- 

"Namjoon?" There he stood, clad in a black coat and jeans, looking back at Seokjin sheepishly as he stood in front of his apartment door. "What…are you doing here?" 

Namjoon smiled. "Hello to you too. I did say maybe we could pick it up another time. Also." He held up his phone. "I desperately need to charge it." Seokjin felt relief wash over him. He hadn't been ignored and then received a pity visit. Seokjin was still standing at the last step, keys in his hand. "Is that a no?" Namjoon asked when Seokjin didn't move or speak.

"Oh, no! It's a yes…I mean…you can charge your phone, of course." Seokjin started heading towards his door unlocking it and Namjoon stepped behind, leaning on the wall, waiting. His perfume and that musky scent had Seokjin's brain already going haywire.

They entered Seokjin's apartment and this time, in quite a civilized manner. Namjoon dropped his backpack on the floor and sat down at the breakfast bar. "Would you like some tea…coffee?"

Namjoon nodded. "I would love some coffee if it's not too much of a hassle."

Seokjin shook his head. "Not a hassle." 

He made coffee for the both of them and placed the mug in front of Namjoon as he settled in the chair beside him, gripping onto his own cup a little too tightly. "So, how have you been?" Namjoon asked, tone light.

Seokjin blinked. Small talk? They had never done that before. "Oh, you know…busy. Taehyung moved in with Jimin-ssi, so…"

"Oh, yeah, I heard."

"How have you been?" Seokjin hadn't failed to notice the dark circles and tired eyes that looked back at him. 

"I've been tired. I need sleep. Sometimes, having multiple majors is not a good thing.” Namjoon rubbed his eyes, sighing.

Seokjin snorted. "When was it ever a good thing?"

Namjoon chuckled. "True. It never was. It's just…a little too hectic at times. I wish I never had to do this degree."

Seokjin nodded. "Degrees are annoying. What were you doing in this area? Isn't it a little far off from your uni?”

“I like going to cafes to study. Have been scouring the area for a good one.”

“Did you find one?”

Namjoon shook his head. “No, unfortunately. I'll just have to keep looking.”

Seokjin was feeling a little confident as he muttered, “Well, if you need company, I may be free.”

Namjoon tilted his head, a smile ghosting his lips. “I see.”

They continued talking, finding out a little more about each other's schedules. They eventually shifted from the chairs to Seokjin's bed. Both of them had to complete a few things for their assignments and so they sat in silence, doing their work.

Seokjin turned to Namjoon, noticing his flushed cheeks and red eyes. "Namjoon? Are you okay? Do you have a fever?" Seokjin asked, almost sounding demanding.

"Huh? Do I?"

Seokjin's hand went to Namjoon's forehead and he let out a sigh. "Oh, dear. You should really sleep. You've got a fever."

"I just have to complete this and I-"

"I couldn't care less," Seokjin deadpanned. He took the laptop from Namjoon's hands and kept it on the table. "Sleep. Now. Let me get you medicine."

Seokjin went into the kitchen, rummaging into his drawers to find the pill. When he came back, Namjoon was snuggling into the comforter, eyes closed and almost passed out. He resisted the urge to tuck his hair behind his ear. 

Namjoon took the pill and eventually drifted off to sleep as Seokjin continued finishing up his screenwriting. Only when Seokjin had settled onto the couch did he realize that this was the first time Namjoon and him hung out without throwing themselves at each other and somehow, it didn't feel odd.

.

They woke up late, thanking every entity that it was a Sunday. As they sat eating breakfast, Namjoon said, "I'm so sorry. You had to sleep on the couch because of me. And thanks…for yesterday. If you didn't stop me, the fever would have never gone away."

Seokjin tsked. "So formal. If you overwork yourself, you're gonna keep getting sick."

"I can't help it, unfortunately." Namjoon's smile didn't reach his eyes.

Seokjin ruffled Namjoon’s hair. “It doesn't always have to be that hard, okay? You've got good people around you. Take it easy sometimes.”

Namjoon nodded, averting his gaze. “I'll try.”

They talked for a while until Namjoon decided he should go home. They were standing by the door with Seokjin leaning on the wall, looking up at Namjoon while he explained how rapping helped him more than writing in expressing emotions. 

"Okay, um. I guess I'll go. I'll see you soon?" Namjoon seemed hesitant in asking but relaxed when Seokjin nodded, smiling.

"You still haven't paid your tab."

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. "I thought I got hot writer privilege."

Seokjin shook his head. "That was a one time thing."

"Well, I need a broke college student discount."

Seokjin laughed. "You're not broke!"

Namjoon shrugged. "Well, I practically am."

"I see," Seokjin said softly. Namjoon gave him a small smile, almost leaning in instinctively, their lips touching. Seokjin looped his hands around Namjoon's neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, Seokjin's toes curling as he tasted the bitter coffee taste and then a hint of Namjoon. It didn't last for long as they both pulled away, a lingering anticipation within the both of them. It was weird, Seokjin thought as they exchanged goodbyes. He closed the door after Namjoon had left, standing there, still processing. Namjoon never charged his phone. That kiss was something he hadn't felt before with him. He was catching feelings.

....

"It's gone too far," Seokjin complained to Yoongi who was lying on his bed, books sprawled around him. 

He looked up from his notebook and shook his head. "I told you."

Seokjin sighed, exasperated. "That wasn't true. I just found him hot at that time. Now, it's not just that!" Yoongi rolled his eyes and went back to writing. "Yah! Don't ignore me!"

"What do you want me to say?"

Seokjin thought about it for a second. "I don't know. Tell me if these are feelings I'm catching or it's just lust."

Yoongi scrunched his nose in disgust. "Ew. Look, I don't know what you two are up to but..I don't want to know."

"Yoongi! You have to help me. Otherwise, I swear to god, I will be insufferable at the wedding as your plus one."

"Wait…you didn't get an invitation?"

Seokjin rolled his eyes. "Even if I did, I'm coming as your plus one."

Yoongi groaned. "Hyung, just- wait. Bring Namjoon. That will give you an idea whether you like like him or not."

Seokjin nodded, thinking. "That's actually not a bad idea."

Yoongi smiled, satisfied. "Good, now leave me the fuck alone and let me do my work."

Seokjin pouted but left the grumpy old man alone. 

..

omg hi

im so sorry for not seeing this message

i feel so stupid 

Seokjin stopped in the hallway of his university building as he was leaving for the day, a smile lighting up his face. It had been 3 days and Seokjin should have been annoyed. Although, it was not something they had ever talked about. 

Seokjin 

you should

im so hurt

Your vile ways

Namjoon's reply was instant, filling Seokjin with a pinch of happiness.

Namjoon

vile ways? My my, I must, oh, I must redeem myself

Seokjin

you must

I actually need a favor

Are you free this Sunday

Namjoon

Yes

Seokjin

Then you're my plus one at a boring wedding. No, it's not family

I'll explain later

Namjoon

oof, if only I didn't have to redeem myself

ill be there

That response was enough to power Seokjin throughout the day. 

....

"Tae, let's go! We're late!" Yoongi yelled back into his apartment.

Taehyung yelled back a response and soon after they heard footsteps rushing towards the door. "Finally," Yoongi said, exasperated. 

Taehyung came out, fixing his suit jacket. He shot Yoongi a look and they all left, rushing to go downstairs. Namjoon was already waiting for them, ready to leave. Seokjin had worn his fancy suit today, in which he knew he looked handsome. Maybe he wanted a response from Namjoon.

Namjoon's gaze held steady on Seokjin as they walked out from the building. A taxi was already waiting and Namjoon was holding the door open. Seokjin gave him a small smile as he walked up to him. 

"Hello," Seokjin said. Yoongi and Taehyung slipped into the taxi, gesturing for Seokjin to follow.

"You…look great," Namjoon mumbled. He waited for Seokjin to get in and closed the door lightly. Once Namjoon was also in the car, they were off.

“So, whose wedding is it?”

“Ji-ho is Yoongi's school friend and was one of my neighbors. We really aren't that close anymore. Both of us haven't seen him in years but he's inviting us for the memories…most probably. We are going because Ji-ho was dating Dae-jun for years and then he sent this invitation of him marrying Hana, Dae-jun’s cousin. It's a little too suspicious and we want drama,” Seokjin explained.

Taehyung started laughing. “Wow, this is so much fun. Glad I came.” Namjoon laughed, agreeing.

Yoongi shot him a look. “You were going to be dragged to this wedding regardless.”

Taehyung groaned and slumped into the seat. “Your suit!” Seokjin chided. 

The rest of the car ride was spent in recalling random memories of Ji-ho, which admittedly was nostalgic.

When they reached, there were already a lot of people there. Many had already taken their seats, waiting for the ceremony to start. Ji-ho was nowhere to be seen but as soon as they entered a bunch of their common friends came and greeted them. Yoongi slipped away under the excuse of using the washroom while Seokjin was dragged away from Taehyung and Namjoon to meet other people that he barely remembered. 

After about ten minutes of talking to everyone, Seokjin finally spotted Yoongi and rushed over to him. “God, I don't remember anyone and they just-whoa, why are you so pale?”

Yoongi's face had all the color drained from it and he looked scared. “What happened?” Seokjin asked again.

Yoongi swallowed, nervous. “I don't know…but pretty sure fucking your ex is not a good idea on your wedding day, right?”

“What?!” Seokjin exclaimed, a bit too loudly.

“Shh! Keep it down. But yeah, Ji-ho and Dae-jun are definitely doing it in the washroom.”

Seokjin scrunched his nose in disgust. “Gross. Where's Tae and Namjoon?” Seokjin started looking around and spotted Taehyung near the entrance still. 

They walked towards him, Seokjin a little concerned about Namjoon's whereabouts. “Where's Namjoon?”

“Oh, he went to the washroom.”

Yoongi sighed. “Oof. Tough luck.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Knowing Namjoon, I gotta go find him before he meets Ji-ho in the worst place ever.”

Seokjin moved past the crowd, heading for the washrooms and found Namjoon standing outside. “Yeah, best to stay out here, huh?” Seokjin smiled as he stopped beside him.

“Who is it?”

“Well, I'd let you take a wild guess, with that big brain of yours.”

“Ji-ho and Dae-jun?”

“Ding, ding, ding!” Seokjin laughed.

“I just heard…things when I entered and immediately walked out. Gosh, what a nightmare if Hana finds out.”

Seokjin shrugged. “I'm starting to believe Hana knows.”

Just as Namjoon was about to reply, Ji-ho walked out from the washrooms, Dae-jun behind him. They both looked incredibly flustered. “Seokjin hyung!” Ji-ho exclaimed, moving to hug him.

“Ji-ho ya, getting married already!” Seokjin said, hugging him back.

“Yes! This is Dae-jun, my best man.” Dae-jun stood there, playing with the hems of his dress shirt. He bowed slightly, moving to hide behind Ji-ho.

Seokjin almost stopped himself from laughing and bowed back. “Nice to meet you. This is Namjoon, my….” Seokjin found himself hesitating. “Uh…friend.”

Namjoon glanced at him. He then smiled at the both of them and bowed politely. “Nice to meet you.”

“Beautiful venue. So, when did you meet Hana?”

“Oh, a year ago, through Dae-jun. He set me up,” Ji-ho said, chuckling. “It's really quite early to get married but it's just…we both just knew.”

Seokjin gave the fakest smile he could muster. “That's really cute. I wish you the best married life.”

“Thank you, I'll see you later, hyung! Gotta go!”

They exchanged goodbyes and Seokjin let out a sigh of relief. “This is a shit show.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Entertaining at the least.”

Seokjin nodded, giving him a wry smile. They found Yoongi and Taehyung sitting by the wedding arch. They beckoned them, gesturing at the seats beside them. 

The ceremony soon started without delay. Hana looked gorgeous in her dress but she seemed very uninterested in her wedding. Dae-jun was standing by the altar, looking a little sick to the stomach but otherwise fine. It seemed as if this was some deal they had formed. Ji-ho marrying Hana but loving Dae-jun. He knew Dae-jun's family was rich and so was Ji-ho's.

They left soon after and Seokjin found himself going home with Namjoon again. The apartment was quiet as they entered, Namjoon turning on the lights and smiling at him as they took off their shoes. “Want something to drink? Or eat?” He asked, his hands in his pockets, standing there in his suit, his eyes steady.

‘Self control?’ Seokjin thought. “No, I'm good,” he replied out loud.

Namjoon hummed in response. “You know,” he said after a beat. “You look incredible daily but the suit is just…. drop dead gorgeous.”

Seokjin's heart skipped a beat, his ears turning warm. “You're just saying that so you can get with this,” he said, pointing to himself.

Namjoon chuckled. “I sure am. It was all part of my intricate plan. Am I getting with ‘this’ with my compliments?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and shrugged listlessly. “Maybe charm me a bit more. You gotta earn it, right?” 

Namjoon nodded. “Guess I do. That suit would look better if it was on the floor.” He removed his hands from the pockets, loosening his tie and ruffling his hair. He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his white shirt and headed towards the refrigerator. “Are you sure you don't want something to drink?”

Seokjin's heart was weak. “Damn you, Kim Namjoon,” he mumbled as he headed towards him. Gripping his collar, Seokjin smashed his lips into the other, kissing his parted lips. Namjoon smiled into the kiss, slowing the pace and cupping his face. His touch was tender and he savored the kiss before breaking it off a second later. He didn't say anything but took Seokjin's hand and led him to his bedroom, closing the door behind them. He pulled him closer by the waist, kissing him slowly but firmly. 

Everything about it was different from the previous times. The way Namjoon was kissing him slowly, softly, taking his sweet time. Seokjin had his hands looped around Namjoon's neck, his hair tickling his hands. He kissed back the same way, taking his time, unhurried.

Namjoon's hands roamed slowly, as if he was memorizing his body. “Gorgeous,” Namjoon muttered as he moved back, placing a kiss on his temple. He moved to remove Seokjin's tie, smiling. Seokjin let out a breathless laugh, their foreheads touching as he removed Namjoon's tie. Their breaths mingled, their resolve breaking as they kissed softly, slowly undoing each other's buttons. 

Clothes were shed eventually, their laughs and giggles louder than Seokjin's hammering heart. They tumbled into the bed, laughing when Namjoon bumped his knee into the side. Seokjin quickly kissed his laughing mouth, nails grazing his warm sides. He took a moment to take in Namjoon's bare body, his breath stuttering at how perfect he was. Namjoon smiled at him, hands propping himself up. “Should I do all the work?” Seokjin asked.

Namjoon shook his head, the smile still on his face. “Not this time. I've got you.” Namjoon brushed his lips against Seokjin's, deepening it when Seokjin's mouth parted. The kiss was slow, unhurried. Namjoon's hands were tracing his collarbones, arms, and chest. Every part of Seokjin's body was being touched lightly. 

Seokjin generally had one rule in his hookups- keep his eyes shut when being fucked. He thought he would stand by that rule but when Namjoon had his eyes steady on him, unwavering, Seokjin couldn't look away. Even as Namjoon thrusted into him, Seokjin found himself looking at Namjoon with the same intensity. Those dark eyes seemed to hold him in place. It was too close, Seokjin thought. 

This time, Seokjin decided it would not be a good idea to stay the night. He was catching feelings way too fast and he had no way of knowing if Namjoon did.

As they both laid on their backs, gasping for air, Seokjin couldn't help but wonder what Namjoon felt. “Namjoon?” Seokjin asked, his voice hoarse.

Namjoon hummed in response, his eyes closed. Seokjin gulped, looking at the man's features in the low light. His eyes followed the gentle curve of his nose, his relaxed lips, then lingering on the way the shadows fell across his cheekbones. It was so different when they were fucking. The way Namjoon would look at him, a fire in his eyes as he pinned his wrists to the sheets and kissed him roughly. He hesitated, the words stuck in his throat. Namjoon's breathing had slowed, steady like the night as he turned on his side to face Seokjin. Seokjin felt his cheeks turning crimson, the sudden attention too much. 

“You were saying?” He asked, a soft smile resting on his face.

Seokjin shook his head, staring at the ceiling. “Nothing…it's nothing. I just..don't be mad, but I've got to go. I've got a few projects lined up and a class early tomorrow,” he blurted out.

Namjoon didn’t say anything for a minute, the room silent save for their deep breathing. Seokjin couldn't see his expression from the corner of his eye, making the silence more unbearable. “Okay,” he said eventually. “I understand.”

Seokjin sighed, sitting up as he felt the sheets shift under him. The sudden thought made his body hot with embarrassment that he didn't have a shred of clothing on him and neither did Namjoon. Namjoon was still looking at him, his eyes almost piercing. “You looked hot today,” Seokjin muttered, his voice low. “You really know how to play with…your food.”

At that, Namjoon chuckled and Seokjin felt the tension leave his body. He got up from the bed, gathering his clothes off the floor. Namjoon watched him the entire time as he got dressed in the dark, his gaze unflattering. 

He felt the sheets rustle and saw Namjoon was sitting up in bed, holding his hand out. It was simply there, no pressure but Seokjin felt it anyway. He took the hand, Namjoon's fingers curling around his and lightly tugged Seokjin towards him. His other hand had found his waist as he closed the distance between them, his lips soft. The kiss was slow, so fragile, something they had never done before. It felt almost like a message but before he could understand, Namjoon had pulled back. “Don't tell me you were leaving without a kiss?”

Seokjin's heart deflated just a little, a quiet little hope inside him melting away. He really thought Namjoon would ask him to stay. “Of course not,” Seokjin said. His hand was still resting on Namjoon's bare chest-when had that gotten there? “Well…uh, see you later.”

Namjoon smiled and nodded. Seokjin got up, his limbs heavy as he walked towards the door. He felt Namjoon's gaze still on him but Seokjin didn't want to make it bigger than it already was and left, the room feeling too much for him at the moment, closing the door behind him. A sense of relief flooded him. He couldn't do that talk now. His head was still a mess.

....

Sudden pull of the blanket caused cold air to envelope his body, startling him awake. His eyes focused on the figure towering over him, holding his blanket with conviction. “The fuck, Namjoon?” He asked, puzzled.

“You said you're free to look for cafés. Well, today's the day!” He said happily as he hadn't just woken him up out of his sleep.

A week had passed since the wedding and Seokjin still didn't have a clear idea of what he was feeling. He thought it was best to avoid the man, but that clearly hadn't worked in his favor. “It's a fucking Sunday!” Seokjin groaned, turning and burying his face into the pillows. Namjoon, however, seemed extremely motivated and immediately made him turn around. “Okay, how the fuck did you get into my house?”

Namjoon shrugged. “I got it from Tae. Said he had a spare lying around.”

Seokjin made a mental note to clock the shit out of Taehyung the next time he saw him. “Namjoon-

“No excuses, come on. Get your ass up.”

Seokjin groaned loudly, getting up but making it very clear that it was not willingly. He glanced at the clock, noticing that it was only nine. What an insane time, Seokjin thought.

“Come on, let's go!”

Seokjin sighed, massaging his temples. “I am up.” He dragged himself out of the bed, trudging to his bathroom. “I hate you,” he muttered with no real malice behind the words.

That didn’t falter Namjoon's mood, who plopped down onto the sofa, pulling his phone out and typing away.

Seokjin closed the door to this bathroom, leaning against it as he tried to slap himself awake. Namjoon was in his house on a Sunday morning forcing him on a café date? No, no, not a date. It's definitely just a hangout. He made his way to the sink, splashing water onto his face. He could feel hope blooming inside him. Namjoon was here. 

In hindsight, it almost seemed like the universe was pulling his leg. Here he was, avoiding his feelings with all his might and here Namjoon was taking him for a stupid coffee he promised as a joke. 

He shook his head. It was just a coffee, not the end of the world. He emerged from the bathroom, feeling much more awake and slightly human. Namjoon was on the couch, his bag on his lap as he typed into his phone. 

“I'll just change into something good…” Seokjin muttered as Namjoon looked up at him and nodded. Seokjin felt weird picking out clothes in front of Namjoon so he grabbed the first decent shirt he saw and a pair of jeans that looked clean. He quickly put them on and combed through his hair, trying his best to not look disheveled. 

“Okay, let's go,” Seokjin said, turning to him. Namjoon nodded, smiling as he got up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Seokjin grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter, along with his own bag and headed to the door, Namjoon trailing close behind.

“So, Mr. Writer, where are we headed?” Seokjin asked as he locked the door.

“Oh, it's this place I read about by some blogger. It's got good wifi, coffee and music.”

“Sounds good. I need some food in me.”

“They definitely have that,” Namjoon said with a smile.

The café was a few blocks away and they decided to walk. It was odd, really. He had never walked with someone that had him questioning how to walk. Were they supposed to hold hands? Namjoon made no such moves and neither did he, so their hands would just occasionally brush each other's.

The excruciating long walk was over when Namjoon finally opened the door to a small rustic café. A bell rang as they entered and the employee at the cash register smiled and bowed at them. “Good morning! Welcome to Brewtastic!”

Seokjin and Namjoon both bowed in response. The café had a few people inside, typing away on their laptops and a coffee accompanying them. Soft instrumental music played from hidden speakers which made the café feel cozy. Seokjin's eyes landed on the menu, his eyebrows raising at the price. His usual coffee limit was 1200 won but 4500 won was insane for coffee, water and ice. 

He tried to catch Namjoon's gaze but he had already stepped up to order. “You okay with an Iced Americano?” He asked Seokjin. Seokjin nodded back, wondering how much he would have to cut back just to eat here and was pulling out his wallet when he heard Namjoon say, “Oh, also 2 of those butter croissants and 2 slices of banana bread.”

Seokjin bit his lip, wanting to protest but Namjoon had already handed over his card to the woman. Seokjin stood there with his wallet, utterly confused. Namjoon turned, noticed and winked. “I dragged you here. Of course I'm paying.”

Seokjin nodded, unsure of what to say. He decided to look for a place while Namjoon waited for the payment to complete. He found a nice table, tucked away in the corner and less noisy. He pulled out his laptop and script, having a paper due in a few days and started typing away. Namjoon joined after a minute, sitting across from him, their knees touching. Seokjin hadn't realized the table was so small.

“Thanks, for paying for the coffee and…the rest.”

Namjoon shrugged. “Least I could do after making you come with me whilst you were having your beauty sleep.”

Seokjin pretended to think for a moment. “You know what, you're right. You disturbed my beauty sleep and I need to be at my top beauty peak this week.”

Namjoon chuckled, a sense of warmth filling Seokjin. He loved to make him laugh. Wait, no. This is a friendly date. “I am sure you will be at your peak, especially since you're drinking exquisite coffee, which you probably aren't used to.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Write a book, publish it, get some sales in and this guy suddenly has never had convenience store coffee.”

“I'm still a broke university student! I-”

“Sorry to disturb you, but here's your order.” The employee placed two coffees on the table and plates of croissants and banana bread. It looked delicious and Seokjin's stomach gurgled loudly and his ears turned red, feeling a wave of embarrassment. 

Namjoon laughed. “Damn right. My stomach is saying the same thing.”

Seokjin smiled, his heart filling with warmth with every small thing Namjoon did. Namjoon pulled out his laptop to work as well and soon they both were just tapping away, working. It was nice. Occasionally, Seokjin would find something funny from the script and tell Namjoon, who would chuckle and give some context about it. He was so smart, Seokjin almost felt inferior to him.

“You know, you're good at this,” Namjoon said after a chuckle.

Seokjin raised an eyebrow. “Good at what?”

“Acting. The whole thing. The script writing and that paper you are working on. I mean, I'm yet to see you act, but I'm sure you're great at that.”

Seokjin felt himself blush as he looked down at his hands. A genuine compliment like that had butterflies in his stomach. “Oh, stop. You’re just flattering me,” Seokjin said, waving his hands as if to dismiss.

“I'm serious. Which is why in my psych paper my topic is this.” 

He turned his laptop around for Seokjin to see. ‘Becoming Someone Else: The Cognitive and Emotional Consequences of Deep Role Embodiment in Actors.’

Seokjin read over the title once again, unsure of what to say. “Wow, that's..a good one.”

“Right? Like the other day you were talking about it in your apartment and it got me thinking, like how those roles might affect you,” Namjoon said, a glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, sometimes all of us wonder who we are after a play. Especially if it's an intense role. It's hard to come back.”

“It's one thing to read about it in papers, but to hear someone say it is…”

“Scary?” Seokjin offered to which Namjoon nodded. “Yeah, sometimes. You just have to find something that grounds you.” Seokjin looked at Namjoon, gaze steady.

“Yeah?” Namjoon asked softly. “Have you found what grounds you?”

They held each other's gaze for a moment, until Seokjin looked away, his cheeks hot. “I'm still looking.”

Namjoon nodded, a flash of disappointment but it was gone before Seokjin could decipher it. He turned the laptop back to himself. “Well, I'd love your help on this anytime you are free.”

Seokjin nodded. They lapsed into silence. Around them soft conversations continued. Music was softly playing through the speakers and Seokjin would occasionally hum along as they both worked on their papers separately.  

It was around three in the afternoon when Namjoon yawned, stretching in the chair. His shirt rode up as he lifted his arms, revealing a sliver of skin. Seokjin felt his cheeks burning again, chastising himself for looking. “I'm beat. And hungry. You down for some lunch?”

Seokjin nodded, a little too eagerly. “Of course I am. There's a barbeque place nearby. I spotted it on the way.”

“Good eye,” Namjoon said, closing his laptop and slipping it into his bag. Seokjin followed suit and soon both of them were out the door, the bell jingling as they left. 

It was a beautiful day. Leaves rustling in the light breeze, afternoon light painting the world around them. Seokjin crinkled his eyes, the sudden sunlight almost blinding. 

“So, uh..is that café going on your list or you're gonna keep looking?” 

Namjoon shrugged. “Might keep looking. A little too expensive, don't you think?”

Seokjin snorted. “Right, now he finds it expensive.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “I just wanted the upper hand in the café.”

Seokjin laughed. “Ridiculous. Now let me get the upper hand there.” He pointed to the barbeque place, the aroma of grilled meat already enveloping them.

“That smells like heaven.”

Seokjin smirked, his chest out proudly. “I know my food.”

“Woah, woah, let's not get ahead of ourselves. It should taste like heaven, too.”

Seokjin nodded, gesturing for Namjoon to follow. They stepped inside, the aroma hitting them strongly. Conversations flowed, louder than the café, chopsticks and laughter sounding like home. It had been hours since they finished their food back in the café. They got a table near the window, the menus on the table in front of them.

“We don't need the menu. Definitely the combo platter with a bottle of soju.” 

Namjoon smiled. “Took the words right out of my mouth.”

They called over a waiter and Seokjin told him their order. A few minutes later they had raw meat in bowls and side dishes that had their stomachs growling with anticipation. Seokjin picked up his chopsticks and carefully laid out the meat on the grill. Namjoon just watched. 

“You sure you don't want to even try to grill one?” Seokjin teased.

Namjoon shook his head. “No way, not after what happened last time!”

Seokjin raised his eyebrows in curiosity. “Last time?”

“Let's just say Hoseok and Jimin would be dead if not for the sprinklers.”

“Namjoon, are you a fugitive running from a charge of arson?” Seokjin deadpanned. “If so, I have nothing to do with you.”

Namjoon laughed, a sound that made Seokjin's heart skip a beat. It was quite high-pitched for his voice and it was a sound of pure joy. “Wow, you sold me out for a barbeque. And also it was contained to the table.”

“So property damage?” 

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “I had to pay that off for a year. God, who knew tables were so expensive? Especially one with a grill?”

Seokjin chuckled. “Oh, I know. I've looked it up more than a dozen times. It's way too expensive for a studio apartment.” Seokjin placed a few pieces of meat onto Namjoon's plate. “Try it.”

Namjoon took a bite, covering his mouth as he said, “Amazing.” Seokjin smiled, feeling proud. 

Their soju bottle was already low by the time they finished most of their meal. Namjoon had gone to the washroom when Seokjin's phone started buzzing in his pocket.

He picked up, Taehyung's name registering in his brain. “Hiii hyung,” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Tae, I swear to god, do you just give my key away to anyone cause that's-”

“Yah, chill out. Namjoon hyung’s not anyone, is he?”

“Well-

Taehyung interrupted, “That's what I thought. Anyways, where are you?”

Seokjin looked around the place, wondering if he should tell where he was. “I'm at lunch.”

“Ooo, with Namjoon hyung?

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Yes, Tae. You did give him my key.”

“Oh right, well all of us are going to a club, you and hyung better be there.

“Yoongi is coming?” Seokjin asked, a little shocked. 

“Hell yeah, he said he wants to get sloshed.”

Seokjin bit his lip, considering. “What time?”

“Oh, uh…hey, Jiminie, what time are we leaving?” He heard a muffled response on the other end. “We'll be there by 6.”

“Partying by 6? What the fuck.”

“Hey, everyone wants to turn in by 12. 6 is a perfectly reasonable time.”

Seokjin thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, text me the location.” He hung up just as he heard footsteps behind him.

“Location to what?” He heard Namjoon say as he walked to his seat. He sat down, his eyes questioning. 

“Oh, everyone is going to this club at 6. They want to get sloshed, apparently. Invited us.”

“Sounds fun. It's almost 6 anyways. Plus we already downed a bottle of soju,” Namjoon said with a wink. 

Seokjin laughed. “Right, one bottle of soju between the both of us and we're already halfway? What are we, amateurs?"

Namjoon shrugged. “Then show me how to party.”

Seokjin smirked. “Finish up and then I will.”

They finished up their meal, Seokjin's phone buzzing in reminder of the eventful night ahead. Taehyung had texted the location of the club and it was a bit far from where they were but Seokjin didn't mind. For the first time in his life, he was a bit happy that the location he needed to get to was far. Just an excuse to spend more time alone with Namjoon. 

Namjoon got a phone call too, as they started walking to the bus stop. It was Hoseok, asking whether Namjoon was joining them. Namjoon replied with an affirmative and Seokjin thought that the call would end there. However, Namjoon continued talking, lowering his voice so Seokjin could barely hear him. He could make out some words like, “Oh, what did it say? Really? That's odd. No, I don't.” Without understanding the context, it was hard to know what he was talking about but Seokjin let it go. They still weren't personal enough for him to ask. 

When he hung up, Seokjin gave him a small smile and asked, “Everything alright?”

“Everything's fine,” he replied curtly. He looked a little pale, the color drained from his face.

“Are you sure?” Seokjin asked. “You don't-” He was interrupted by the loud groan of the bus as it pulled to a stop in front of them. Namjoon seemed grateful for the distraction and went inside as soon as the doors opened, beckoning Seokjin to follow.

They both scanned their bus passes and sat down at a seat towards the end. The engine hummed as the city started rolling past them. Seokjin glanced at Namjoon, noticing how his shoulders were tensed up as he leaned back on the seat. He threw an arm around the seat next to his, a poor attempt at showing nothing was bothering him. 

Seokjin felt a little brave as he leaned back in his seat and rested his hand on Namjoon's thigh. “Are you ready to party?” Seokjin teased, hoping to lighten his mood. 

Namjoon's eyes widened for a split second and then gave a lazy smile. “I was born ready, baby.”

Seokjin's lips curled upwards, taking his other hand to bunch up Namjoon's shirt and pulled him into a rough kiss. Seokjin kissed his open mouth, licking inside as Namjoon let out a gasp. Seokjin laughed, the sound muffled as Namjoon kissed back with same urgency. As they pulled apart, Seokjin bit his lip, hoping it would draw blood. 

Namjoon's lips were glistening with saliva, a little red from the kiss but Seokjin was disappointed to see no blood. 

“Pretty,” Namjoon remarked, his voice low and husky. “Could be prettier.”

Seokjin swallowed, the compliment settling in him. He knew exactly what the younger meant. He suddenly felt too hot. He wanted to leave the bus or they both would end up in jail for a numerous different violations.

“You're talking too much. I'd like to shut you up,” Seokjin said and surged forward, catching Namjoon in surprise. Their mouths moved with the same pace, the kiss so heated. Seokjin moved his hand further towards Namjoon's crotch, earning a hiss from him.

Namjoon pulled away, grabbing Seokjin's wrist and moving it away. His grip was tight as Seokjin tried to free himself. Namjoon's eyes were dark, the way they got dark when Seokjin would tease him while they had sex. Namjoon moved closer, his lips brushing against Seokjin's ear. “Not here, baby. We've got plenty of time.”

Seokjin gulped, again at a loss of words. The ‘baby’ growled at him always made him go weak in the knees. Namjoon smirked, satisfied with Seokjin's reaction and dropped his hand, moving away. 

The rest of the ride was hell. Seokjin stubbornly kept quiet as he stared ahead. He was annoyed that he was losing the game of seduction this time. He was usually good at it. Although Seokjin's defenses were quite low as of late. He really needed to get his feelings in order.

Namjoon, on the other hand, seemed utterly smug. Seokjin wanted to kiss that- no, slap that smugness off his face. Maybe both. First slap, then kiss? Seokjin sighed. He was in deep waters.

The bus eventually lurched to a stop and they got down. The club was a ten minute walk from the bus stop. Seokjin sighed, his body coursing with electricity. Their hands brushed occasionally as they walked and Seokjin knew it wasn't accidental. The little shit wanted to fuck with him always.

They didn't talk, even as they walked up to the door of the club and Namjoon held the door open for Seokjin.

Seokjin stepped inside, the smell of sweat hitting him before the bass of the loud music. He saw multiple bodies grinding against each other on the dance floor. He saw the bar counter, a group of people he guessed to be his friends, standing and laughing. 

“After you,” Namjoon whispered, close to his ear. Seokjin turned around, hoping his gaze was throwing daggers at him. 

He decided it was best to ignore him as they both walked towards the bar counter. “Hey!” Jimin exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. 

“You're late,” Taehyung complained. “We literally got here half an hour ago!” 

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “I can't make them drive the bus faster.”

Namjoon nodded. “Besides, this is so far away from the usual clubs in our area.” They were all shouting, trying to be louder than the music.

Hoseok raised his hand, a sheepish smile on his face. “A friend of mine part-times here. He said if we came he'd give a good discount.”

“Better than what the hyungs give,” Taehyung said, glaring at Yoongi and Seokjin. 

“Yah, just because his boss is generous doesn't mean everyone's is,” Seokjin snapped.

Yoongi snorted. “Besides, you don't have a good enough credit to open a tab here or there.

“Yah, y'all are so mean.”

Hoseok stepped in. “Alright, you guys can bicker later, but first let's meet Minjun.” Jungkook stepped back to let Hoseok pass. At the counter was a bartender, smiling and waving at Hoseok. 

“Hoseok, you made it!” Minjun yelled.

“Yup, got the rest of them,” Hoseok beamed, pointing at us.

“That's awesome. First round of shots are on me. What are you having?”

Everyone cheered. “Tequila?” Hoseok asked everyone. There were no complaints so Hoseok ordered the shots as everyone else grabbed a table close to the bar. 

Once the shots were on the table, they held up the glasses in the air, cheering. It had been a while since Seokjin had partied with such a huge group of friends and admittedly, it felt nice. 

The burn of the alcohol slid down his throat, heat flushing to his cheeks. They all grabbed the lime wedge, grateful to mellow down the taste. “Alright! Round 2!” Hoseok cheered.

“Get beers for everyone and 2 bottles of soju,” Taehyung said, his face contorted after the tequila shot. Jungkook laughed, rolling his eyes. 

“Alright, I'll go get it,” Namjoon said.

“I don't want beer,” Jungkook complained. “I'll come with you.” They both went to the bar counter while Jimin dragged Taehyung to the dance floor after hearing his favorite song. Yoongi was just sitting there, staring at the whole place. 

Hoseok came and sat next to him. “Hey, thought you guys would ditch us and not come.

Seokjin blushed. “Wha-what no, of course we would,” he stuttered. 

“Yeah, well, Joon looks a bit tense after hearing about the letter, so it's good you guys came.”

Seokjin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Hoseok blinked, a little taken aback. “Oh, did he not tell you? It's nothing anyway,” he rushed out, giving a nervous laugh at the end.

Seokjin narrowed his eyes, staring at Hoseok. “Is it serious?”

“Uh...no.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “If it's not, then just tell us.”

“Yeah, you're right. It's just a random letter that was swept under the door addressed to Joon. It had no stamp, no address, nothing. It just said ‘Sweetheart’ on the envelope. I thought it was you at first. But then I remembered you were with him. So, yeah, we have come to the conclusion that it's some stalker. But how they knew our address is the scary part. He probably didn’t want to worry you, so he didn't mention it.”

Seokjin felt warm after Hoseok thought he would call Namjoon sweetheart. Did that mean Namjoon talked about him? He shook the thoughts out of his mind. That wasn't the point here. He didn’t know whether to believe it, but he didn't really have a choice. Yoongi shrugged after their eyes met, as if to say, “Your call.”

Seokjin settled on simply nodding his head. “That's…scary. You should ask Namjoon to report it.”

Hoseok nodded, turning back to see Namjoon and Jungkook coming to their table with a huge tray of drinks. “What makes you think I haven't already asked him to?”

They dropped the topic as the both of them joined them. There was beer, soju and whiskey. Jungkook yelled at Taehyung and Jimin to join them and they rushed towards the table, already sweaty. 

“Alright, y'all need to loosen up! We have to get everyone drunk,” Taehyung yelled.

“No designated sober person to make sure we don't do something we regret?” Seokjin asked, eyes landing on Namjoon.

Namjoon smirked, eyes steady as he held his gaze. “How about I be designated sober? That way you don't have to worry.”

“Nah, hell no. We need to loosen up. You especially. No designated sober,” Jimin shouted back.

Namjoon held up his hands in defense, looking away. “Alright, alright.” His voice was barely audible over the whole club.

They all started shouting over each other, fighting over which drinking game to be and eventually settled on what the maknae said.

Soon enough, they were down to more than three bottles of beer and at least one bottle of soju. Although that wasn't barely anything for most of them. Most of them because Taehyung and Hoseok were drunk and depressed. Jungkook rolled his eyes at them as he placed whiskey shots before them.  

“Such light drinkers!” Jungkook yelled at Seokjin as he tossed another shot.

Seokjin laughed. He wasn't drunk, but definitely tipsy. He felt the buzz of alcohol, making his insides warm. 

“Lightweights,” Jimin laughed, but his tone betrayed warmth. He ruffled Taehyung's hair, pulling him closer. “Wanna dance, baby?”

“I doubt he can even stand,” Yoongi snickered, leaning back in his chair as he sipped his beer.

“Yah,” slurred Taehyung. “Anything for Jiminie,” he mumbled out as he got up to stand, knees buckling. Jimin grabbed him, laughing.

“Hyung,” Jungkook said. “I bet he won't even make it to the chorus.”

Everyone laughed, slapping the table enough to vibrate their shot glasses. 

Hoseok got up suddenly. “Nah, it's not even nine yet. We gotta party. He'll sober up enough after the food comes.”

As if on cue, the waiter came holding two huge trays with their order of rice and sides. “Your food,” she said with a smile. “The rest is on its way.”

“Yah, finally, I'm fucking starving,” Yoongi said.

Namjoon and Seokjin both looked at each other. They had literally eaten only hours ago. Namjoon's gaze was steady, which led Seokjin to believe he wasn't drunk at all. He gestured at the dance floor, to which Seokjin shrugged. He didn't dance but he wouldn't want to miss Namjoon dancing. They both got up, the rest of the group distracted by another waiter bringing their food. 

They both got to the dance floor, the bass drumming under their feet. It felt odd because he wasn't drunk enough to dance. He started swaying from side to side, trying to match the beat. Namjoon looked the same.

“What's wrong?”

Namjoon shook his head. “I just…I'm usually a lot more drunk to be found on a dance floor.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same.” 

“Well, we did get on the dance floor on our own free will,” he said with a smile.

“That's the problem,” Seokjin sighed. 

Namjoon laughed and that was enough for Seokjin to start moving. Namjoon followed and soon enough they looked like they were dancing in a club, not a middle school dance. 

Seokjin left a few minutes later and came back with shots for them. “Need it for courage.”

Namjoon nodded, downing it in one go. The burn felt nice and Seokjin felt himself letting go. They were dancing, laughing and eventually grinding against each other. Their shoulders brushed, then hips and eventually Seokjin had his hands around Namjoon's hips. 

“Not really a slow song, huh?” Namjoon whispered in his ear. He could smell the alcohol as Namjoon pulled away and Seokjin smiled.

“You're really annoying.”

Namjoon laughed. “Am I? I thought you liked me being annoying.”

Seokjin narrowed his eyes. “No no, when did I ever say that?”

“I am pretty sure you did.”

“Never.”

“No, you definitely did. I-”

“God, just shut up,” Seokjin said, pushing forward and closing the space between them. Their lips moved with a familiar pace, alcohol overpowering every sense. He heard cheering from somewhere but he couldn't care to see who.

Namjoon reacted immediately, hands on Seokjin's waist, pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. Bass shook their chests as they kept up their own rhythm. Seokjin tilted his head, parting his lips as Namjoon kissed him deliberately. 

It felt hazy and suddenly the music disappeared. Seokjin only heard their own heartbeats. Namjoon's hand slid up his back, grounding Seokjin. The kiss had slowed, as if they had no hurry-

Seokjin was then crashing to the ground, a shove to his back as he tumbled straight into Namjoon. Namjoon, being poorly coordinated, lost his balance, falling back with Seokjin in tow. They crashed to the club floor and Namjoon let out a groan. 

“Sorry,” Seokjin muttered. He had bunched up Namjoon's shirt as he fell, wrinkling it.

“You okay?” He asked. 

“I should be asking you that. God, this floor is absolutely rank.” Seokjin made a face and pushed himself up. 

He held his hand out and Namjoon grabbed it, getting up. Namjoon smoothed over his shirt, trying to clean up whatever had stuck to him. “I'm fine. I'll go clean up this mess.”

Seokjin sighed. “Yeah, good luck with that. What even is this sticky mess?”

Namjoon shrugged. “Who knows. Go, eat. I'll be right there.” 

Seokjin nodded, heading to the table. Half the food was gone and Taehyung had finally risen from the dead. It looked like he was sobering up. Hoseok and Yoongi looked the same but Yoongi seemed happier to have inhaled the food. Jungkook was face down on the table, probably asleep. Jimin was eating and drinking, and he waved at Seokjin to sit down. 

“Sooo, kissing in the club and all?” Yoongi asked the minute Seokjin sat down. His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol but Yoongi never got drunk enough. Seokjin always teased him for having the tolerance of an old man.

Seokjin shrugged. “To be fair, I kissed him.”

“And he kissed back, I don’t see no difference.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Okay, can I eat in peace?”

Yoongi just smirked and took a sip of his beer. 

Namjoon came back from the washroom, looking slightly better but that shirt was pretty ruined from the back. Seokjin gave him a small smile, as if to say ‘Sorry’. Namjoon smiled back. 

“Whoa, what happened to you?” Jimin asked, narrowing his eyes to see clearly in the dark atmosphere. 

“Nothing,” Namjoon muttered, sitting down opposite Seokjin.  

“Just a fight with the floor. Floor won,” Seokjin said.

The others laughed while Yoongi just raised an eyebrow, a smirk visible on his face. A second passed and he leaned and whispered, “Was it the floor or you?”

“Hyung!” Seokjin hissed, turning crimson. He started eating whatever was left, his stomach grumbling a little. 

Taehyung got up after sometime, grabbing Jimin with him and they both went to the dance floor again, now that Taehyung could stand on his feet. Namjoon had finished eating and was tapping Jungkook asking if he was okay. Hoseok was knocked out while Yoongi was vibing to the music. It felt nice to be out, albeit the horrible hangover the next day.

Seokjin leaned back in his chair stretching. He had finished his food and downed some more alcohol, which he probably shouldn't have. He was literally not able to hold his chopsticks properly and was very clearly slurring his words.

Yoongi tsked beside him. “Time to cool it on the alcohol. Otherwise, that's you,” he said, pointing to Jungkook and Hoseok. Hoseok was better off sleeping, Jungkook on the other hand was awake and Namjoon was helping him eat to get him sober.

“Nah, I..I never get that bad, you know that,” he said, drawing out his words as if the length of each syllable proved his point.

Yoongi shrugged. “That was a year ago, what about now? Let's not test it, shall we?”

“One more,” Seokjin pouted. “Just a shot, and I'm done.”

“No-” Yoongi was about to protest when Seokjin took a shot and gulped it.

“Done! See?” He said proudly and kept the glass on the table, a little louder than intended. 

“God,” Yoongi groaned. “You're unbelievable.”

Namjoon sighed. “I literally just got this guy sober. Not you too, hyung.”

“I'm fine, I'm fineeee,” Seokjin waved them away, almost whacking Hoseok on his side. Jimin and Taehyung came back to the table, grabbing a glass of water before heading back to the dance. 

He got up from his seat, no real motive in mind to which Jungkook cheered because he really wasn't that sober yet. Hoseok got up from the noise, looking confused. “Okay, where the fuck are you going?” Yoongi asked Seokjin, his tone betraying worry. 

“Just…water,” he muttered, swaying. He almost ran into the table and Namjoon got up, heading towards him. Seokjin lurched forward, trying to grab the bottle on the table. He lost his balance but felt hands grab him by the waist, holding him up.

“Careful.” Namjoon's voice was low and steady in his ear. Seokjin felt a shiver run down his spine. 

“Sit him down before he knocks the entire fucking table down,” Yoongi sighed. 

Seokjin felt bile rising up to his mouth, and pressed the back of his hand to his lips, swallowing hard. 

“Are you going to be sick?” Namjoon asked, his voice far from panic. Yoongi was pushing his chair back, standing up to help.

Seokjin shook his head. “I just…feel nauseous."

“Okay, how about we head on outside? Get some fresh air?” Namjoon asked and Seokjin nodded. He allowed himself to be led out by Namjoon.

The cold air hit him like a wave, the haze of the club feeling far away. Seokjin inhaled deeply, his eyes adjusting to the darkness outside. 

Namjoon guided him to the side of the building and they leaned against the wall. Everything was quiet as Seokjin simply took deep breaths, taming his nausea.

“Better?” Namjoon asked after a couple minutes.

“Yeah,” Seokjin nodded. “Just..needed air.”

Namjoon nodded, moving a little closer, their shoulders brushing. They stood like that for a while, just listening to the bass of the music inside. 

“You want to head back inside or..?” Namjoon asked, trailing off. He was looking at Seokjin who was looking back at him.

“No,” Seokjin said, his heart hammering inside his chest. The alcohol was everywhere and he really wasn't thinking straight. “Kiss me,” he demanded.

Namjoon hesitated, but moved closer, cupping his face and kissing him. The sweetness of Namjoon lingered despite the alcohol that clung to the both of them. Seokjin was pushed back into the wall as Namjoon pushed forward, their lips parting fully and heat sparking between them. 

Seokjin wanted something but his swayed mind was of no help. He whined into the kiss, his hands tugging at Namjoon's shirt. Namjoon bit his lip, earning a gasp from him. “Jin,” he huffed, his voice rough.

Seokjin replied by pulling Namjoon closer, kissing him down his neck. Namjoon hissed, moving back and giving Seokjin access. His hands fisted at the fabric of Seokjin's shirt, pulling at it. 

“Fuck,” he swore as Seokjin bit down, sucking at it. “I-” his words cut short as Seokjin caught his lips in another kiss.

Namjoon groaned into his kiss, low and rough and Seokjin felt the hairs on his arm standing up. Their kisses were desperate as their teeth clashed, breaths mingling-

Someone's phone rang. Dazed, Seokjin pulled away, their chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. Namjoon was looking at him, waiting. Seokjin realized it was his phone and reached for it, picking it up.

“Hyung, are you good?” Yoongi asked, on the other end, barely audible.

“I'm fine,” Seokjin said, eyeing Namjoon's swollen lips and disheveled shirt. He noticed a bruise blooming on his neck, the thought sending blood rushing to his face. 

“Well, it's time to head home, it's almost midnight.”

“Right, Cinderellas with a curfew, I forgot.”

“Not all of us are acting majors,” Yoongi barked back.

Seokjin huffed, his breathing still uneven. “Uh, right..who's paying?”

“Hoseok paid for most of it. I'll cover whatever is left. We'll all split it later. Just come inside and help us with Jungkook and-” he paused and swore. “Jimin too.”

“Okay. Okay.” He hung up, the line going dead. Seokjin pocketed the phone, giving Namjoon a small smile. “They called to say we should all head home. They also need help with Jungkook and Jimin.”

Namjoon nodded. He had fixed his shirt during the phone conversation, the hickey still visible and Seokjin swallowed. “Okay, you stay here. You aren't sober enough. I'll help them.”

“Right,” Seokjin said, leaning against the wall, his eyes half lidded as Namjoon headed back inside. A few minutes later, the party spilled onto the street, loud and messy. Taehyung had sobered up, somewhat, but Jimin was pretty drunk, holding onto Taehyung for dear life and giggling into his shoulder. Jungkook was being held up by Namjoon on one side and Yoongi on the other. Hoseok was yelling about cabs. They had called cabs which were arriving in the next few minutes. 

The chaos was all Seokjin heard, everything else a blur. The cabs arrived but Seokjin hadn't really seen who went with who. Eventually, Namjoon appeared by his side, his hand sliding around his waist as they both started walking. “Last cab's for us. I'll take you home.”

“Nonsense, I can get home just fine.”

Namjoon laughed, watching as Seokjin struggled to get inside the cab. “Yeah, I don’t think so,” he said softly, guiding him to sit. 

He didn't have the energy for a comeback, so he just leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes. Namjoon slid in beside him, telling the address to the driver. For a moment, the ride was filled with the hum of the engine and the blur of streetlights. 

Seokjin's head lolled to the side, resting on Namjoon's shoulder. Namjoon tensed a little but didn't move him. 

He felt the cab lurch to a stop a while later and Namjoon gently shook him awake. “Hey, we are here.” Seokjin nodded, heading to open the door, when Namjoon stopped him. Namjoon paid the driver, murmuring a thanks before he opened his side of the door, helping Seokjin out through there.

The cab rolled off as they made their way up the stairs to Seokjin's apartment, Namjoon's hand steady around his waist. 

Seokjin was in no state to open the door, so after handing over his keys to Namjoon, he just stood off to the side, trying to stand upright.  

Namjoon pushed open the door with his shoulder. “Come on,” he muttered, gently pulling Seokjin inside. 

Seokjin kicked off his shoes in the darkness, his brain not supplying where his light switch was. Namjoon didn't bother looking for it either and closed the door behind them. Seokjin headed to the bed, stumbling and using muscle memory as he found it and sat down. Namjoon came up in front of him, the glow of the streetlights from the window enough for Seokjin to observe him.

“Please, “ Seokjin whispered, not really knowing what he was asking for.

Namjoon nodded, pushing him back onto the bed. Seokjin felt himself fall back onto the mattress, limbs heavy and felt safe when Namjoon hovered over him, caging him with his body.

Seokjin's world was blurry enough but as he was pinned to his bed, he felt his world tilt. Namjoon leaned down, their breaths mingling and Seokjin whined. “I've got you, baby,” Namjoon murmured, kissing him softly and slowly.

Seokjin parted his lips under him, pliant and soft. He tugged at the younger’s shirt, his fingers weak. 

Namjoon pulled back, looking at Seokjin with a curious look in his eyes. “You good?” 

Seokjin nodded, tugging again. “Please, “ he said, firmer.

Namjoon smirked, pulling off his shirt and helping Seokjin out of his. Their lips met again, hungrier and passionate. The air felt charged as their kisses were rough and deliberate.

Seokjin's hands roamed clumsily across Namjoon's bare chest, mapping his body in the dark. Namjoon shivered, biting Seokjin's lip and moving down to his neck. Seokjin gasped, every touch of the younger one making him fall deeper and deeper. 

Namjoon pushed him deeper into the mattress, earning a moan from Seokjin which he swallowed immediately. His hands trailed down the older one's crotch, earning a sharp gasp from him. 

“Namjoon-,” Seokjin whined as Namjoon pulled his pants off. Seokjin was pretty far gone and Namjoon smirked when he saw it. 

Seokjin didn't feel embarrassed, he just wanted him. He whined again and Namjoon shushed him with a kiss. “It's okay, baby. I'm here,” Namjoon smiled. He trailed down his chest and Seokjin helplessly arched at every touch. 

Namjoon's lips brushed over his collarbone, nipping at the skin lightly. Seokjin hissed, his nails digging into the younger’s back. “Hey,” Namjoon mumbled, his fingers tracing down his waist. “Behave.”

Seokjin shivered, arching as Namjoon's touch finally went there. “Joon, please-” 

“I know, I know.” Namjoon’s fingers lingered teasingly, his lips brushing against his ears. “Patience.”

“Fuck that,” Seokjin gasped, half-lifdded, lips parted and face flushed.

Namjoon chuckled, a deep rumble against Seokjin's chest. Namjoon kissed him again, the pace fast and intense.

Suddenly the warmth was gone. Namjoon had pulled back and was off him, leaving Seokjin grasping for him.

“Hello?” He hadn't even heard the phone ring. He felt his heart drop. Namjoon was going to leave, wasn't he? “Hey, Hoseok, you okay?”

Seokjin felt cold and pulled the comforter over him.

“What? Wait, don't call the police, I'll be there-”

Seokjin clutched the comforter tightly, his stomach twisting. 

“You already called them? Okay, I'll come,” he said and hung up. He turned to Seokjin, a look in his eyes that Seokjin couldn't really understand. “Baby,” he whispered. “I gotta go. I'm so sorry.” He pressed a small kiss to his lips, fleeting. “Hoseok's fine, just something small. Sleep, okay? You've got class tomorrow.”

Seokjin felt his chest tighten. He remembered the conversation with Hoseok about the letter. It had to be something related to it but he really didn’t want to decipher it. He nodded and the next minute Namjoon was gone, the apartment quiet.

Seokjin stayed still, staring at the closed door for a while. He then curled up under the comforter, hoping sleep would come sooner.

….

Namjoon

If only my degree brought me even a shred of solace…I would be happier

Seokjin stared at the message on his phone. A couple of days had passed since their night out with everyone. He remembered Namjoon leaving. He remembered the phone call, but Namjoon hadn't bothered to explain anything to him. He hadn't even seen him since then. He felt a tug in his chest. 

“4 beers please,” a man yelling his order over the music brought his attention away from his inner turmoil.

He served the 4 beers, still debating whether he should reply to Namjoon or not. This was hardly an explanation and Seokjin's heart demanded one. Eventually, his shift came to an end and he decided to go visit him. Talking in person was always a tad bit better.

As he was close to Namjoon's building, he heard voices conversing. Upon getting closer, he realized it was Namjoon and a girl. He had never seen her before and curiosity got the better of him as he stood there, watching. He was far enough that the conversation wasn't audible, yet he could see them.

Seokjin wanted to interrupt but he couldn't bring himself to. Namjoon seemed to be explaining something to her and she nodded, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around him. Namjoon didn't move and the girl leaned up and kissed him. Seokjin hadn't realized his own feelings for Namjoon yet at that moment it seemed obvious. A pang of jealousy tugged at his heart and he felt something in him break. Was this the girl who sent the letter? Sweetheart? God, he had been stupid. It was casual, so casual? Why did his stupid heart always betray him? He turned, not bothering to go back there and went home.

Seokjin's steps felt heavy as he walked home, his chest aching. Everything till now had been like a fever dream. What did Seokjin expect? The first date was them fucking each other. This was nothing more than a fling. He went to sleep, all these emotions bubbling up inside him. Before sleeping, a message had been sent to Namjoon.

Seokjin

Hey, it's been great, these few weeks but I think we should part ways. Best for both of us to focus on uni haha.

....

Namjoon had taken the hit well and sent him an affirmative response which had Seokjin frowning at his phone while drinking his coffee. Was he not worth fighting for, even if casually? 

He didn't see him until a week later, when he showed up at the bar. It was a busy day, orders pouring in. Some company was having a business party and both Yoongi and him were busy.

“Hi,” Namjoon said as he walked up to the counter.

“Hi,” Seokjin mumbled back his attention on the drinks he was making. 

“I just…I'm here to settle my tab. I realized that I never paid it off.”

Seokjin's neck snapped up, his eyes falling on the man standing before him. He had a polite smile on his face, his hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. A sense of despair curled within Seokjin's stomach. Seokjin nodded, feeling queasy inside. He maintained his composure as Namjoon handed him the money. He processed the payment and handed back the change. “Thank you.” 

Their eyes met and Seokjin's insides flipped. For a fleeting moment, he believed that Namjoon's eyes held the same longing that Seokjin felt, but it was gone. Namjoon sighed. “Seokjin,” he said and left the bar, weaving through the customers. 

Seokjin turned to Yoongi, telling him to take over for him. He felt detached as he went to the back exit of the pub. He almost bumped into Sang-hoon, who was rushing into the kitchen. A quick apology got Seokjin out. Usually, the other coworkers gathered here for a smoke after throwing out the trash, but luckily no one was out here. Seokjin sat there, crying out his insides. A raw ache lingered in his heart and with a start he realized that he hadn't felt this way about anyone before. A myriad of questions popped into his mind as events from a week ago flashed through his mind. Was he dating someone? Was that someone before or after Seokjin? If so, why was Seokjin involved? How did he fall for him so quickly? Why did he? Every tiny moment he had with Namjoon was flashing through Seokjin's head. Was it all a fucking lie?

Seokjin brushed off his tears eventually and headed back to complete his shift. Yoongi noticed the change in Seokjin, his eyes questioning. Seokjin smiled widely and shook his head. Maybe busying himself was for the best.

…

It was getting colder and Seokjin's bones were starting to ache. Or so he told everyone because he was running out of excuses for missing parties and get-togethers to avoid Namjoon. Ever since everyone had been acquainted with each other, a lot of plans had been made, especially for the rap contests. Even Yoongi dabbled in some and Seokjin had only gone to support him. Fortunately, that was the day Namjoon couldn't make it.

As for Namjoon, he didn't seem to be affected at all. According to Taehyung, he was coming to a lot of bar nights with them. There were no texts on his phone from him either

Seokjin was just getting ready for work when Taehyung called him.

“Hyung, hi!”

“Ah, my favorite dongsaeng.”

Taehyung chuckled. “I know that's a lie, but I'll roll with it. You're going to be free on December 4. See ya!”

“Taehyung-ah, I have work-” Seokjin replied but Taehyung had already hung up. Seokjin sighed. Obviously, they were planning a party for him. It was only a few days away.

December four came too fast, Seokjin thought as he walked alongside Yoongi to Taehyung’s apartment. They were both late due to work, but Taehyung said that he would hold the fort down.

Taehyung's apartment had loud music blasting out of it as they entered and Seokjin immediately realized that Taehyung had not kept it “small”.  

“Seokjin-ah!” He heard someone call out. Jae-hyuk was walking towards him, his hands spread out for a hug and Seokjin complied. “Happy birthday, man.”

Seokjin laughed nervously, nodding. “Thank you. I'm surprised to see you here.”

Jae-hyuk smiled. “Me too, but the whole theater group is here! Taehyungie invited us.”

Seokjin tried his best to keep his surprise at bay. “Oh, that's great! I'll meet them all in a second…”

Seokjin then bolted from there to find Taehyung. He found him after weaving through the crowd, talking to Jimin and a few others he didn't know. He grabbed him by the collar, pulling him away. “I'll just borrow him for a minute!”

He pulled him into a corner, glaring at him. “You said this was “small” when I called you yesterday! What the fuck is this?”

Taehyung scratched his head, ruffling his hair as he laughed sheepishly. “Actually, it was small, but…things snowballed and this happened. Plus, since I'm not there for my birthday, we just…kinda merged it. Jimin invited a lot of our common friends and yeah. I should have informed you, I'm sorry.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Seokjin hissed out. “So the party isn't centered around me, right?”

“Well, yeah. I guess. The ones you know, came for you. As for the rest…”

“So I can leave whenever?”

Taehyung nodded, giving a boxy smile. “Yeah, hyung. Just have fun.”

“Okay, thanks Taehyung-ah.”

“Happy birthday, hyung. I love ya.”

Seokjin smiled, hugging the younger boy. “I love you too. Now, go back. Otherwise Jimin will hate me.”

Taehyung laughed, blowing a kiss at him as he left. Seokjin wandered off, finding a box of beers on the kitchen counter. He saw a card stuck onto the fridge by a magnet, finding the drawing on it interesting.

It was a very disfigured bunny but cute nonetheless. Seokjin shouldn't have been snooping, but he took the card, opening it.

‘happy birthday idiot, jungkook-ssi’ The card read, written in gorgeous handwriting. Signed below was Namjoon. 

Seokjin found himself staring at the card for an embarrassingly long time until a cough broke his thoughts. “Yeah, I know the card sucks.”

Seokjin looked up, the familiar face bringing back a lot of emotions he had been avoiding. He really hadn't felt that way about someone. It had been over three months since he had seen him last. His hair was longer, a little unkempt and a lighter shade of brown than the last time he had seen him. He looked a little leaner than before or maybe it was the black shirt and tight jeans that made him look that way. Seokjin wasn't looking, he just happened to see it. Still hot though, Seokjin noted.

He stuck it back on the fridge and took a swig of the beer. “Huh. I never said it did.”

Namjoon smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. “The bunny made you look. If it was good, you wouldn't have bothered. It's just psychology.”

Seokjin shook his head. “No. Even if it was good, I would have looked. It's the only thing on the thing.”

Namjoon nodded. “Fair enough. I uh..got you something.” He gave him a book. “Happy birthday.”

Seokjin smiled weakly. “Thank you.” It was a cookbook, something he had told Namjoon about the first time they hung out together and it was almost sickening how he remembered it.

Seokjin was about to say something more, when Eun-woo interrupted them. “Seokjin! I heard you were finally here!” Seokjin paled a little. “Happy birthday, pookie,” he said, coming closer and pulling Seokjin into a hug. He placed a kiss on Seokjin's cheek and Seokjin pulled away. Namjoon’s eyes had a sudden change, but it was gone and he turned and left. 

Seokjin couldn't help but follow him with his eyes. “Thanks, buddy.”

Eun-woo nodded, grabbing his fleeting attention. Eun-woo’s eyes trailed up and down his body. “Damn, you look different than a few months ago. You lost weight or something?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “No. I didn't. And no, I'm not hooking up with you again.”

Eun-woo pouted. “But we had fun, didn't we?”

Seokjin sighed, cursing himself internally. He had made the mistake of hooking up with Eun-woo when both of them were drunk at a party in the first year. Since then, Eun-woo asked him every so often, but Seokjin wasn't going to make that mistake twice. “We did,” Seokjin mumbled. “But I honestly don't remember shit, okay? So, just let it go.”

Eun-woo shrugged. “If you want.”

Seokjin left the kitchen, downing the rest of his beer. He left the book in Taehyung's room, not wanting to lose it in the crowd. He found a stronger alcohol on the coffee table, an entire bottle of vodka and took it upon himself to finish it because he hated this party already. The look Namjoon had given him made him feel uneasy.

He wandered around, looking for no one in particular and ended up on the balcony. There weren't a lot of people there as it was a small one, but he saw a figure leaning on the railing, a beer bottle in the person's hand. 

Seokjin was already buzzed up, having finished half of the vodka already. “Great party, huh?” He asked the figure, not bothering to check who it was. “I'm having a great fuckin’ time.”

“Glad to hear it,” he heard the person say. The person turned, looking at Seokjin with no expression on his face. “Happy Birthday again, hyungie.”

“Yoongs, why are you out here alone?” Seokjin asked, stumbling over his feet as he walked towards the railing.

“Why are you out here? The party is for you,” Yoongi countered.

“To be fair, it's also for Tae.”

Yoongi eyed the bottle in his hand. “Is that a whole bottle of vodka?” He demanded.

Seokjin looked down at the bottle. “Technically, it's half full.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that makes it way better. Give me that,” he said, taking the bottle away from Seokjin and placing it on the table outside. 

Seokjin sighed. “Yah, it's myyy birthday. I'm celebrating!” 

“Celebrating or trying to die? Hyung…,” his voice softened. “It's..I know I see you everyday but it's like you're not even there. How have you been?” 

“I'm fine, better than ever!! I don’t know what you're talking about,” Seokjin replied lazily, leaning on the railing. 

“I'm serious. Did something happen with you and Namjoon?”

Seokjin felt his heart stall at the question. Suddenly, his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth. “Nothing happened. It's like I said. We both got bored.”

Yoongi shook his head. “I don’t understand why you're hiding something like this from me. I judge you always but you know I'm there for you.”

Seokjin let out a laugh. “Yeah, I am well aware. Yahh, let it go. I'm just busy with graduation and a little sad to go. Nothing more.”

“You're full of shit,” Yoongi muttered, finishing his beer. “Last I saw you happy was in that club, kissing Namjoon.”

Seokjin hummed, staring at the lights in the city. They weren't high up, but the view wasn't too bad. They were silent, the sound of wind overpowering the music inside. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Well, the truth is, it was getting too serious..for me. And I didn't want to deal with that right now.”

Yoongi stared at him, unimpressed. “That's your excuse? Really?”

Seokjin shrugged. “That's the truth. Take it or leave it. Sorry, if you were expecting melodrama.”

Yoongi nodded. “Okay, if you say so. You sure you're okay? You don't want to talk about it?”

“I'm finee, now can I just get drunk without being interrogated?”

Yoongi gestured at the table. “You may, but maybe lay off the vodka?”

“Alright.” 

“I don't want to carry your ass home,” Yoongi said.

“Ha ha. Okay, I'm offff!”” Seokjin said, heading back inside. He just needed to leave the conversation. Yoongi was getting too close and Seokjin didn't want to have this conversation. He knew what Yoongi would say. He would say Namjoon might have his reasons, go talk to him. But that would just mean that he was down bad for Namjoon. Seokjin didn't want to admit that.

He went inside, grabbed another random bottle of alcohol. Okay, who paid for this shit?, he thought. He downed so more, danced with random people he seemed to know. They pulled him through the crowd, cheering him on. The night passed in a haze. Eventually, Seokjin ended up taking a break. The floor looked comfortable and he just needed to lie down and rest his eyes. Before he knew it, Seokjin was lying on the floor, his head swirling as he closed his eyes.

…

He woke up with a blinding headache, bile rising up to his throat as he swallowed it down and opened his eyes. Bright sunlight filtered in from the windows, obscuring Seokjin’s vision until his eyes adjusted. He found himself in a room which he hadn’t seen before. There was a shelf filled with random items like books, pictures and albums on a wall. A table with a computer was pushed to the opposite wall. A closet with a lot of clothes was left open. Seokjin tried to rack his brain to figure out where he was, but his hungover brain couldn't supply much. 

Seokjin placed his feet on the floor, the purple rug soft between his toes. He stood up, the ceiling and the floor exchanging places and the bile he had forced down has made its way back up. 

“Jin hyung?” He heard someone say from the doorway as they rushed over to him.

“I'm gonna be sick,” Seokjin managed to whisper out, despite the hoarseness in his voice.

The person managed to help him get to the nearest bathroom and he immediately grabbed the toilet bowl to throw up.

“Jimin hyung, he's up!” The person was yelling out the door while rubbing his back. Seokjin let out the contents of his stomach, the nausea subsiding slightly and flushed it. He moved back, leaning against the bathroom wall.

He opened his eyes to see three concerned faces towering over him. Seokjin felt a rush of red to his ears and hid his face while Taehyung laughed. “I thought you were going home early yesterday!”

Jimin tsked and smacked Taehyung’s hand. “Leave him alone, he's hungover.”

Taehyung shrugged. “I'm just asking. Do you remember anything about last night?”

Seokjin shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I remember coming here for the party…met some people and then got too drunk to remember shit.”

Jungkook shuffled forward, helping Seokjin off the floor. “Let's get you some water and food. We can talk in a better place.”

Jungkook and Taehyung helped him to the dining table, his world still spinning. Jimin placed a bowl of soup in front of him and a pitcher of water. “You better finish all of this, otherwise you won't be getting rid of the hangover.”

Seokjin nodded. Although the food was making him feel queasy, he decided to take small sips at a time. “Kook found you passed out in the hallway opposite to our room.”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, l just picked you up and dumped you in my room.”

Seokjin looked at the little boy with the big doe eyes. He seemed genuinely concerned and Seokjin found it endearing. He managed to give the boy a tired smile. “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I honestly don't remember things right now. How come none of you are hungover…and how is this place not messy?”

Jimin ruffled Jungkook’s hair. “This guy can't take it if the house isn't clean. Plus he didn't drink much. So, he woke up early and cleaned everything even though I told him not to.”

Seokjin whistled. “Wow, I'm impressed. Wait…don't tell me Jungkook had to sleep on the couch because of me.”

“Not a hassle, hyu-” Jungkook rushed to say but Seokjin cut him off.

“God, I'm so embarrassed. Thank you, Jungkook-ah but seriously, I would have been fine on the floor.”

Jungkook shook his head. “No way.”

“Okay, okay, let him eat. We should stop interrogating him,” Jimin said. “Come on Kookie, help me clean the balcony.”

They both left to clean the balcony while Taehyung sat down beside Seokjin, saying nothing at first. “Spit it out, Tae,” Seokjin chided as he continued drinking the soup.

“You were crying.”

“What?” Seokjin asked, halting mid air with his spoon.

“Yesterday, when Jungkook picked you up and helped you into bed, you started bawling your eyes out. Jungkook panicked and called me and Yoongi. You weren't making a lot of sense though. A lot of gibberish about not fighting, no messages and a lot of whys.” Seokjin’s brain made a connection, realizing who it was about and stared at his soup. Taehyung noticed the change and poked his hand. “What's going on, hyung? You've been so distant lately. This is the first time I'm meeting you properly in months.”

Seokjin looked up and gave a mirthless smile. “Nothing, I've just been busy and tired.”

Taehyung didn't seem convinced. “No. You're lying. You weren't happy about the party yesterday. I know it was more people than you expected, but many were people you knew.”

Seokjin thought about it for a minute and he remembered meeting people but it was hazy. “I'll be honest. I really don't remember.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes, suspicious of his answer but didn't push it. “If you say so. You know I'm here for you, right?”

Seokjin smiled and this time it reached his eyes. “Thank you Taehyung-ah.”

He ended up finishing half of the soup but feeling too nauseous to continue. Jimin gave him some pills to help with the nausea and headache and told him to sleep it off.

Seokjin decided to go home because he felt like he was intruding. Besides, Taehyung had to go home in a few days for Christmas. He decided to follow Jimin's advice and slept it off.

….

It had been a few days since the party but Seokjin still couldn't remember most of it. He remembered that his theater group had been there and even Namjoon, but he couldn't remember anything else. He was terrified to find out what conversation he must have had with Namjoon.

He was leaving the last class before break when a voice stopped him. Seokjin turned to find Eun-woo calling him, confusion all over his face. “Eun-woo? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Eun-woo raised an eyebrow, smirking. “So, you really don't remember anything?”

“What?” Seokjin asked, confused. 

“The party. We were dancing around.”

“So? I was drunk outta my mind, dude.”

Eun-woo nodded. “I'm aware. Which is why you probably even kissed me in the first place.”

Seokjin froze. “What?”

Eun-woo shook his head. “Don't freak out, it was literally two seconds and then pulled back like you were repulsed by me, said I was an asshole for never fighting for you and left.”

Seokjin's face heated up, his cheeks dusted crimson. “I-what the fuck?”

Eun-woo gave a sympathetic smile. “It's okay if you don't remember. I just wanted to ask what the fuck that was about.”

Seokjin swallowed the lump in his throat. He remembered flashes from the party. He remembered talking to his friend Jae-hyuk, Taehyung, Namjoon, Eun-woo and then his theater group. He remembered stumbling out onto the balcony and meeting Yoongi. He remembered that mouth of Eun-woo and he thought it was Namjoon. He got mad, yelled at him and then passed out. The next thing he remembered was Jungkook and Yoongi consoling him as he sobbed about why Namjoon didn't fight for him.

Panic surged. “Oh god,” Seokjin breathed out. The cookbook. Namjoon got him a cookbook. “I have to go!” He yelled as he pushed past Eun-woo, who was still waiting for an explanation. 

He called up Taehyung as he ran towards his apartment, hoping he would pick up but after trying his number four times, Seokjin gave up. He instead tried Jimin's number, hoping he would pick up. Jimin picked up after a few rings and Seokjin breathed a sigh of relief. “Jimin-ah! Has Taehyung boarded the train?”

Jimin laughed. “Hello to you too, hyungnim. I think he must have.”

“What about you two? When are you guys going to Busan?”

“We're at the train station right now. The train's delayed ‘cause of the snow. Why?”

Seokjin called for a taxi in sight, praying it was free. The taxi drove up to him and he got in, spewing the train station’s address. “I'm coming there. I need the keys to your apartment. I left something very important there.”

“Okay, hyung, try to make it soon. I really don't want to miss the train.”

“You won't, Jimin-ah, I'll make sure of it.”

He hung up, urging the driver to drive faster, although it had started snowing, which meant the roads would start becoming unsafe. Seokjin could only hope he made it before they boarded the train. 

Twenty minutes later, he found himself running to the train station, the announcer saying it was the last call for the train to Busan. “Oh god, please.” Seokjin muttered as he ran past crowds waiting.

Jimin was waving at him from the train doors, yelling at him to hurry. Seokjin ran and took the keys from Jimin, just in time for the announcement of the doors closing. “Thank you so much! Have a safe trip!” He yelled through the closed door to which Jimin smiled and nodded. The train started moving and Seokjin waved as they were off.

Seokjin was huffing by the time he made it back to Taehyung’s apartment in the same taxi. He opened the door to the same apartment which had had music blasting through it less than a week ago. He walked through the hallway towards Jimin and Taehyung's room, smiling at the two twin beds pushed together to make a double bed. He didn't remember where he had put the book, but judging by the clothes piled up on the table, Seokjin guessed it was hidden under that.

He rummaged through and found it. He didn't know what to expect but if he knew Namjoon at all, he knew there would be something written inside. There was a sticky note stuck inside with his gorgeous handwriting.

Come here, I'm 'bout to take you higher

We about to set this love on fire

I've never felt like this before

Baby, you should know you change

All of my negatives to positive

You put up your thorns

But I can see that you're a rose

Who's making my heart race again

The person is you

I still don't know but

I'll make you know everything about me

-Namjoon

The words hit him like a truck, taking his breath away as he read it over and over again. A glimmer of hope bloomed in him. He only hoped Namjoon had nowhere to be today.

Half an hour later, Seokjin stood in front of Namjoon’s apartment, clutching the cookbook in his hand as he waited for someone to answer the door.

A few agonizing seconds later, the door opened to reveal Namjoon in a white hoodie, looking so soft. “Seokjin?” He blinked, his eyes landing on the book. “Oh.”

“What did you mean?” Seokjin asked, his voice shaky.

Namjoon sighed and moved away from the door. “Come inside.”

When they were settled inside, Seokjin asked again. “What did you mean?”

Namjoon smiled. “Remember when I said, I wrote a verse about you?” Seokjin nodded. “Well, it was just the first three lines. God, the first time we met and kept meeting, it was just perfect. And…then everything…changed. I added the rest when I was going to give you the gift. The months..after when we stopped…uh hanging out, was hard. I just…thought it was time.”

“Time for what?”

Namjoon shrugged. “For you to know how I felt. I feel like… I never got a say. Your message. It seemed so…superficial. It didn't seem like you meant it but you texted me that. I was confused. It didn't make sense. You didn't make sense.”

Seokjin felt his cheeks heat up. “I didn't make sense? What about you making out with that girl?!”

Namjoon's eyes widened. “You were there? Why didn't you-”

“Yeah, I was. I saw it. I get it, we were just fucking around-”

“I didn't kiss her!” To which Seokjin looked at him with an arched eyebrow. “I mean, she kissed me!”

“What the fuck?”

Namjoon sighed, getting up from his chair and pacing. “I didn't want to kiss her. She kissed me, trying to rekindle passion or whatever! Kang Nari is my ex. We dated for a year in the last year of high school. And I guess…on and off after that. I broke it off with her but after I released the book, she had been calling me non-stop. I blocked her number, so she started calling from other numbers. And then…I accidentally picked it up that day…the day in the pub.”

Seokjin nodded, recalling Namjoon outside on the call when they were all eating. “Is that why…you left me…there? In the middle of ….” Seokjin trailed off, his cheeks heating up at the memory of it.

“Us making out?” Namjoon asked. Seokjin averted his eyes, looking at the wall behind him instead of his face. “Yeah, she was texting me saying she didn't want to live without me and that the two years were excruciating and she couldn't live like that anymore. I got scared, so I went to visit her. We didn't sleep together but I stayed with her that night, because I didn't want her to do something stupid. Then the fucking letters. Sweetheart…and I thought I hid it from Hoseok but she kept shoving them under the door.”

Seokjin felt his chest tighten. “You hid it from Hoseok? What? Why?”

“I just…she's a part of my life that's better off staying in the past. I didn’t want to drag anyone into this mess. Our breakup was messy enough…and then this. Then she came unannounced to my apartment. I still don't know where she got our address from..the letters were never posted, always shoved under the door. Hoseok called me…that day,” Namjoon trailed off, his face turning red.

Seokjin nodded, looking down at his feet. “I remember…the phone call…when you left.”

Namjoon's expression tightened, guilt evident on his face. “I'm so sorry. You needed me, and I abandoned you but Hoseok…he freaked out after seeing her just sitting there. He called the police, then called me. Saying he got the stalker. When I reached, they were arresting her for trespassing. I went to the police station, told her if she didn't stop pestering me, I won't drop the charges. I told her…” He looked at Seokjin, his eyes lighting up. “I told her I was dating you…that I was in love with you. She backed off, or so I thought.”

Seokjin felt a flutter in his heart. “You…told her? About me? About us?”

Namjoon smiled softly. “Yeah, I just wanted you. I hated going there to sort things out with her. I wanted you. It didn't matter anyway. She fucking showed up again. She was asking for us to get back together. I kept telling her no, telling her to go…but she just kept pulling me into hugs and kissing me.”

Seokjin loosened his grip on the cookbook, the information a little overwhelming. “So, did you?”

Namjoon stared at Seokjin, his expression neutral. “Did I what?”

“Did you rekindle?”

Namjoon continued to look at him, his eyes piercing as he answered, “I did consider it…I thought, maybe we could get back together but…,” he stuttered, breaking eye contact.

Seokjin's heart dropped. He placed the book on the table, feeling sick. He had been right. He should never have come here. He should have just kept his distance like he had and-

“But I didn't feel that way about her. So, I told her to leave. I couldn't…kiss her.” He paused, lowering his voice, the sentence breathy. “I couldn't stop thinking about you.”

Seokjin's heart leaped out his chest. “What?”

Namjoon sighed. “I just.. whatever we had, it was nice, wasn't it? But then you broke it off and I felt hollowed out. God, I tried everything to get rid of the hole.”

“I broke it off because of the girl. I thought you were casual about it. Then you came and closed the fucking tab? What the fuck was I supposed to do then?”

Namjoon shook his head. “I did it to feel better.”

“And did you?”

“Of course not.”

Seokjin felt the need to get up, the room feeling a little too small and his feelings too big. “Namjoon. Tell me…now,” he said with urgency that made Namjoon stand up straighter and look at him. “I’ll walk out that door and I won't come back. Tell me to leave and I will. Tell me that you don't like me the way I do, the crazy, too many feelings, butterflies too early crush that I have on you.”

Namjoon paled, stepping closer. “Don't-” his voice cracked. “Don't walk out, please. I haven't ever spent nights after nights drinking to forget a hookup. Fuck, you're so much more than that. Please, Seokjin. I didn't lie to her. I love you.”

Seokjin’s breath hitched his throat, his eyes brimming with tears. “I don't want to stay, only for it to fall apart in a month because you weren't sure. Namjoon, please-”

“I wrote a fucking verse about you. Actually, I wrote more. The rap contests that you didn't come to, baby, they were all about you. I won't let it fall apart."

Tears were streaming down Seokjin's face. “I won't either but-”

“We'll make it work, please. Don't go.” Namjoon crossed the distance, gathering up Seokjin in his arms and hugging him. Seokjin felt tears stream down his face as he gripped onto him tightly, the soft, musky scent enveloping him. It was like a breath of fresh air.

“I've been so selfish, just protecting myself because I thought you didn't want this.”

Namjoon stroked Seokjin's hair, rubbing his back with his other hand. “I love you baby, I love you so much. It's insane to think that I ever doubted it.”

Seokjin let out a small laugh, the irony of it all seemingly hilarious. “Me too. I love you. I wanted to stay, always. I..I want to stay.”

Namjoon sighed, pulling back a little. He pressed his lips to Seokjin's temple. Wiping a tear from the older one's face, he smiled. “Stay, my love.” He was about to say something more when they both heard voices from the door.

“Aigoo, the lovebirds made up!” Hoseok said, smiling widely. Yoongi was standing beside him, a small smile visible on his face as well.

“What are you doing here?” Seokjin sniffled, refusing to move away from Namjoon.

“Rap contest,” Namjoon supplied, crimson dusting his cheeks. He loosened his grip slightly, his hand now resting around Seokjin's waist.

Seokjin eyed Yoongi, feeling a slight betrayal. “You didn't tell me!”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “I'm not even performing. I'm just going to watch these two. Besides, everytime I ask, you would find an excuse to not come to avoid this guy here.”

Seokjin huffed. “Well, not anymore.”

Yoongi smirked. “I can see that.”

Namjoon nodded. “I'll get ready and we'll go. You're coming, right?” He asked, looking at Seokjin with slight hope in his eyes. 

Seokjin nodded, a little too eagerly at which Hoseok cooed. “You two are going to be insufferable.”

~

Seokjin went to listen to Namjoon’s rap, but zoned out halfway through because of his goddamn skin tight jeans and tight shirt. When he joined them after this rap at the table, Seokjin couldn't really help it. Namjoon was smiling at him, his hair a little messy, sweat glistening on his skin as he asked, “How’d I-?”

His sentence was cut short by Seokjin crashing his lips onto the younger’s, leaning into him. After the initial surprise, he kissed him back just as intently. He curled his hand around Seokjin's waist, the other running through his hair. Seokjin had been waiting for this for months and the thought itself was blinding. The familiarity of his lips spread warmth through his body. They had a slow rhythm going until-

“Not cool, we’re still here,” Yoongi said while Hoseok started laughing.

They broke the kiss, the immediate lack evident as Seokjin felt listless and confused, standing there. Namjoon was still looking at him, lips glossy with saliva. He was blushing which Seokjin found endearing.

“Ew, they look lovesick,” Hoseok teased.

Seokjin rolled his eyes as he sat down, Namjoon sitting beside him. “Not to be a moodkill, but can we go home early?”

“Ew, Joon-ah,” Hoseok said.

Seokjin felt his ears turn red and he hid his face in his hands. Namjoon, on the other hand, began defending himself. “That’s not what I meant! We haven't seen each other in months…we have to catch up and talk about our relationship.”

‘Relationship’, Seokjin thought. That had a nice ring to it. He could get used to it. Definitely. He looked over at Namjoon, who was still defending them as Hoseok continued teasing him. The light shade of brown suited him, slight curls resting on his forehead. His lips curled upwards, threatening the smile accompanied by those gorgeous dimples. His eyes were always warm. How did a man like this walk into the bar that day?

“Jin hyung?” Namjoon asked him. 

“Huh?”

Namjoon laughed. “Let's go?”

“Of course.”

Yoongi and Hoseok were already rolling their eyes and complaining but it was all light-hearted fun. Seokjin and Namjoon left the bar together, deciding on going to Seokjin's place.

Seokjin was supposed to make dinner for the both of them, but they didn't even make it past the door before Namjoon was all over him, his hands everywhere. Seokjin could barely breathe as he was kissed deeply. His senses were overwhelmed and the only thing on his mind was Namjoon. 

Clothes were shed and he was pushed into the mattress, already seeing stars. “Joon-,” Seokjin gasped, Namjoon catching his lips in a kiss.

Namjoon trailed kisses down his neck, in a hurry. “You have no idea how much I wanted this,” he mumbled. Seokjin sat up, startling Namjoon. “Wha-"

Seokjin was already kissing him, hard on the mouth. He turned, pushing Namjoon onto the bed and climbing on top of him. Namjoon grinned, his eyes sparkling. “You're so hot,” he commented, propping himself on his elbows to kiss Seokjin. Seokjin ran his hands through Namjoon's hair, their mouths moving in pace. He grinded onto Namjoon, his breath coming out in pants. “I'm all yours,” Namjoon murmured. 

Seokjin felt warmth spread through him. “That's all I wanted to hear,” Seokjin replied back. 

It was after hours, when they were both tired and almost lulled to sleep in each other’s arms when Seokjin whispered, “Joon-ah?” He replied with a soft hum. “So, what are we doing? Are we doing this properly?”

“Of course, baby. I'm not backing out. I want you,” Namjoon replied, his voice low and rumbly.

Admittedly, that made Seokjin's heart flutter. “So, I can call you my boyfriend?”

Namjoon chuckled. “Yes, Jinnie. You know, I thought you had this whole cool guy, bartender act going on, but you're just big softie.”

Seokjin snorted but the nickname made his heart flutter even more. “Says the rapper.”

Namjoon buried his nose into Seokjin's shoulder, sighing a little. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

Namjoon took in a breath, letting it out slowly as he traced patterns on Seokjin's hand. “I was so hurt..when you didn't stay that night after the wedding. Did…you feel it too, that day?”

Seokjin thought over it, his cheeks heating up. “Oh god, now I get it. I mean I felt it then…that's why I left. I got scared. I thought I created the feeling…I created it in my mind that I made love to you…now I see it.”

“I was so scared that I lost you. I've felt so alone without you. Even though…I have the boys but…with you, I just felt so whole. I literally…went to so many bars, drank so much to try and forget you…,” Namjoon muttered into his skin.

Seokjin let out a soft laugh. “I'm glad you didn't forget me then. I put a lot of effort into charming you, baby.”

Namjoon laughed, the sound warm. “You're so right. Can't argue with that.”

They both laid there, quiet. The exhaustion of the day was catching up and they fell into a deep slumber, embracing each other.

….

“Wow, so you both were being incredibly stubborn and egoistic?” Taehyung asked.

Seokjin snorted. “Believe me, the irony is not lost on us.”

It was after New Years, when the classes had started and everyone was transitioning for the holiday mindset. They had met up one last time before everybody got busy with exams and deadlines. 

Jimin placed a plate of fried egg and smoked duck on the table and tutted at Taehyung. “Don't tease them. You were too scared to confess to me.”

Taehyung folded his arms, glaring at Jimin with betrayal in his eyes. “Why are you on their side?”

Jimin stuck his tongue out at him and Seokjin laughed. “Because he likes me more.”

“He's my boyfriend!” Taehyung sputtered.

Jimin started giggling as well and hi-fived Seokjin while Taehyung pouted. “You're all mean.”

“Jin hyung, can you clean the shrimp before I put them into the noodles?” Jungkook called from the kitchen.

“Of course, Kookie,” Seokjin replied, getting up from the dining table to help. 

Seokjin was cleaning the shrimp under tap water when Jungkook asked, “Are you happy with Namjoon hyung?”

Seokjin smiled, nodding. “Yeah, I really am. Why'd you ask?”

Jungkook shrugged. “You were crying the last time I met you, hyung. I was just worried.”

Seokjin blushed. He began removing the shells and tails off. “Well, funnily enough, I was crying about Joon. God, it's just ridiculous to me that we were both hurting and didn't realize.”

Jungkook turned off the stove and took the pot full of noodles to drain the water. “Joonie hyung has a way of hiding his emotions really well. I really had a huge crush on him when I first met him a few years ago.”

Seokjin glanced up, surprised. “I didn't know that.”

Jungkook stayed quiet, draining the noodles. He then placed them to the side and joined Seokjin in cleaning the shrimp. “It didn't last that long. Plus, I didn't really think I would do anything about the crush. Namjoon's…different. He's smart, focused and has a lot on his plate at all times. It's really intimidating.”

Seokjin nodded. “Agreed. But he's a big softie as well. I guess…I just can't imagine myself without him. It's only been a few weeks and he was gone for most of it to Ilsan.”

Jungkook laughed. “Yeah, he's a softie. Also, is he back from Ilsan yet?”

“Yeah, he got back this morning but I haven't had the time to meet him yet. I had a shift at the bar with Yoongi in the morning. It was a pain in the ass. Morning shifts are so bad, it's just a bunch of sad, jobless people who come to drink their sorrows and talk to the bartenders. After that, I came here directly. He should be coming here soon.”

“Well, I hope he gets here soon!”

They finished cleaning the rest of the shrimps. Seokjin was about to start cooking when Jungkook stopped him. “Nah, hyung, go and sit outside. You already made kimchi fried rice after coming here.”

“Aww, Kookie, you sure you don't need help?”

Jungkook smiled. “No, I'll be alright.”

Seokjin was a little hesitant but after a little more insistence from his dongsaeng made him go outside. Taehyung and Jimin were both very focused on the tiny mobile screen, so Seokjin joined them to find out they were watching a very serious gameplay on some game that they vowed to beat Jungkook in. Eventually, knock on the door and a second later it opened to reveal Hoseok and Namjoon. 

Hoseok came in, smiling and pulling Seokjin into a hug. “Hello, hello, hope you had a good vacation.”

Hoseok nodded. “I did, it's good to see you, hyung.”

He let him go and went to hug Taehyung and Jimin while Namjoon stood near the door, his hands in his pockets and a soft smile on his face. He looked the same but more healthier, like he had finally slept properly. He had donned his brown coat with jeans and looked so cozy.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said.

Seokjin's cheeks warmed at his words, his lips turning upwards. His heart skipped a beat, the feelings inside him rising up. “Hi, baby.” Namjoon reached out, pulling Seokjin into a warm embrace, holding him tightly. “Did you have fun?” Seokjin mumbled into his chest.

“I did, but I missed you,” Namjoon murmured into his ear, his voice soft.

“I missed you too. Why does it feel so long, even though it's only been 2 weeks?”

Namjoon chuckled, his warm breath tickling his ear. “An eternity, babe. That's what it felt like.”

Seokjin blushed. Namjoon tilted Seokjin's face upwards, kissing him softly. The familiarity of his lips made a warmth settle down in Seokjin's stomach. ‘I could get used to this,’ he thought. They smiled through the kiss, pulling apart after a couple of seconds, the feelings lingering.

“Awww, they are soooo cute,” Jimin cooed, clasping his hands together. “Tae, are we this cute?”

Taehyung grabbed and squeezed Jimin's hand lightly, smiling and rolling his eyes. “Of course we are. What happened to taking it slow, huh, hyung?”

Seokjin blushed as Namjoon's hand curled around his waist and stayed there. “This is slow. We didn't even see each other for 2 weeks!”

Before anybody could say anything, a voice from the doorway had Seokjin rolling his eyes. “2 weeks?! Omg, hyung, how did you survive?!” Yoongi asked sarcastically.

Seokjin shot him a mock glare. “Very funny, Yoongi. Let me see you live without me in a few months after I graduate.”

Yoongi smirked, crossing his arms. “I'm waiting for that actually! I get your apartment.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Dream on, you're going to miss me and I know it.”

Yoongi was about to shoot back a comment before Hoseok broke it up to go hug Yoongi. “Alright, let's discuss who's going to miss hyung after he graduates. For now, Jungkook needs our help in the kitchen.”

Everybody mumbled in agreement, going to help Jungkook in the kitchen. Namjoon held onto Seokjin's hand as they stood there, talking and catching up. 

Eventually the food was cooked and everybody was seated around the table, enjoying dinner while bickering and bantering with each other. It was really cute or so Seokjin thought. They way they all just clicked with each other. He did feel a sense of dread when he thought about graduating in a few months. Where he would be, what he would be doing. What would his relationship look like with Namjoon? He had never been so sure and scared at the same time. Namjoon was everything and beyond what he ever fathomed. Seokjin didn't want to fuck it up. But everytime Seokjin would look over at his boyfriend, his boyfriend would catch his eye and give him a small smile with a gentle squeeze of his hand. Somehow, that was enough to calm his spiraling thoughts.

That night, when they had finally reached home, away from everyone, Seokjin felt at peace. Namjoon's warm embrace was enough.

~the end~