Chapter Text
Kai almost wished that they could point to a specific part of their life to say that that was when it started going off the rails, that was the decision that made everything go crazy. But they couldn’t. All it was was a series of less than thought out interactions mixed with accidentally getting on the bad side of some worse people, and suddenly Kai’s life was shunted from normal, past weird, and landed squarely into batshit insane.
Maybe it’s better that they couldn’t find one thing that they did wrong, because then they’d be agonizing over what they could’ve done different, rather than just agonizing over what their life became.
The worst part was, it took them a while to realize what they’d gotten themself into. Were they an idiot? Just oblivious? They liked to think of themself as an optimist, but maybe that was just a nicer way of saying painfully naive. Probably. It was what got them kicked out, anyway.
The moment that they started noticing things maybe going weird was when they met the guy on the roof. It was one of their favorite roofs to stay on when the weather was nice. Not high enough to make it hard to climb the fire escape or give them vertigo but not too short to make them worry about people looking up and mistaking them as a jumper. Plus it was a near abandoned building with good views of the skyline and some cool shops at street level, which meant that Kai could spend ages drawing and never be disturbed or have the cops called on them for loitering again.
So when they were finally able to make their way over after the bout of spring rain petered out, they were shocked and not a little disappointed to see somebody else already on it. There was a moment before they pulled themself over the edge of the roof that they considered just climbing back down before the other person noticed them. Who knew what they were doing up there. Who knew what they’d do to Kai.
But their reluctance to share sputtered out the moment they realized the person had their legs dangling over the edge. Their stomach twisted into knots as they saw the stranger sway on the lip of the roof, shifting side to side and mumbling something that they couldn’t hear. They stayed there for a moment, staring, waffling between the options of startling the stranger off the roof or not saying anything and witnessing a suicide. Kai gnawed on their lip, strips of dry skin coming loose under their teeth.
“I’m not gonna jump, y’know,” the stranger’s voice rang out, making Kai drop their bag onto the metal of the fire escape with a clang. “That’d kinda bring this whole fanfiction to a screeching halt.”
Once Kai was able to get their breathing back under control, they tossed their bag over the lip before climbing over themself and making their way across the roof. The stranger was broad shouldered and hunched, with a hoodie over their head and a duffle bag on the roof at their side.
“What do you mean?” They asked about halfway across. Hoodie whipped around at their voice, startling them into stopping. Their face was silhouetted from view by the lights on the street below.
“Hot damn,” Kai cringed, “what’s a nice roof like you doing on a kid like this?”
They paused, thinking.
What?
“What?”
“You seem a little young to be up on roofs at night with strange dudes. I mean, you probably didn’t expect me here but holy puberty Batman, you are small.”
“Hey,” they said, indignant, “just cause I’m short doesn’t mean I'm not an adult.”
“Yeah right, either you have the most terminal case of baby-face I’ve ever seen or you can’t be more than 15.”
“I’m 19, not that it’s any of your business.”
“Oh yeah, 19, that’s so much better,” he said, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Tell me kid, how long have you been nineteen?”
“Ugh, Twilight quotes, really?” Kai started walking toward him again.
“What can I say, I’m a man of culture,” he turned back around, slinging both legs over the edge of the roof and making Kai’s stomach drop. “But you didn’t answer my question.”
Kai stopped at the lip of the roof a few feet away from Hoodie, dropping their bag to face him.
“What, about how long I’ve been 19? Cause I’ll let you guess on that one, it’s a number between one and twelve.”
“Ha!” His laugh was more of a bark. “Nah, babygirl–”
“Don’t call me that,” they said, voice much sharper than they expected. He looked back at them and Kai caught a look at the half of his face not covered by the hood. The shadows played on it oddly, making it look textured and pockmarked with scars. They looked away.
“Okayyy,” he drawled. “Duly noted. Babyboy, then?”
“Closer, but no cigar,” they said, huffing a little.
“Hmm, ok. How ‘bout Kitten whiskers? Puddin’ pop? Sugar bear?” He snapped his fingers. “I got it! Babyface!”
Kai laughed a little, against their better judgment (and the voice in their head telling them not to trust the strange roof man just because he was more understanding than their parents).
“You know, you could just call me by my name.”
“‘Call Me By Your Name’? Nah, babyface, even if I knew it, you’re too young for me. I like my partners with a little metal on their bones, a little despair behind their eyes.” He smiled, teeth bright white in the gloom. “You know, DILFs.”
Kai squinted into the darkness at his face, still beaming.
“What do you mean meta– you know what?” Kai stuck out a hand. “I actually don’t care. I’m Kai.”
Hoodie looked down at Kai’s hand for a second, the lines of his silhouette tense and surprised.
“Wade,” he said, loosely shaking Kai’s hand. The texture of his skin was odd, ridged and rubbery, like old burn scars. It dwarfed Kai’s and they rapidly realized just how much Wade was hunching over. He must’ve been huge.
Before Kai could even consider whether or not they were in actual danger from Wade, the huge roof man, he released their hand and went back to facing forward, feet kicking the wall of the top floor. Seeing him lean over, elbows on his knees as he looked out, made any last lingering desire to leave dissolve. They could not, in good conscience, leave and let this guy jump, no matter what he said otherwise.
“You know,” he sing-songed. “You still didn’t answer my quesstionn.”
They started a little, too lost in their thoughts to expect him to keep talking. “Assume I forgot what it was,” they said, making themself look busy setting up their normal drawing spot.
“What’re you doing up here, babyface?” His voice got flatter, more serious than they’d heard yet. The rapid shift made them jerk their head back up to watch his legs swing back and forth, back and forth. “Come to admire the view?” Kai could see the whites of his eyes as he glanced over at them. It took Kai a moment of digging out of their own worries and fears to realize what he was asking. And then it hit them.
Wade thought Kai was there to jump. And he was giving them the same care that they were trying to give him. Something warmed in their chest.
“I mean, yeah,” they grinned, waving their battered box of colored pencils before setting it down on the lip of the roof. “The neons of the shop signs combined with the skyline makes a pretty cool landscape.”
A tension that they didn’t realize existed was released from Wade’s frame the instant they started talking about drawing and instead of leaning over his knees, he put his hands behind him and leaned back. Kai’s throat loosened slightly.
They decided to try their luck.
“Ya know, there are places that you can sit on the roof, right?” they said, dragging over an old milk crate to sit down and prove their point.
Wade laughed. It was a much lighter sound than before.
“Sure, Babyface, like that’ll do me any good,” he said, twisting to straddle the lip of the roof and loom over Kai. “So, whatcha drawin’?”
It was an obvious change of subject. Kai almost heckled him about it but figured if it was keeping him from staring down at the street below like before, they’d let him have it.
“Nothing right now,” they said, scooting to the side, “seeing as you’re blocking my light.”
“Oh come on,” he flopped down onto his stomach, legs going up to kick behind him. It was such a ridiculous pose for a grown man to be in that Kai had to look away to keep from laughing at him. “We’re buddies! I’m making sure you don’t talk to any stranger danger adults. You’re making sure I don't kill myself. That’s bonding, Babyface. You can tell me.”
Kai looked back at him, intending to snip back when they stopped. Wade must’ve taken their silence as judgment because he just kept on talking.
“Yes, I realize you are supposedly an adult, but frankly I’m not convinced and will continue to be unconvinced until I see a goddamn drivers license. And yes, I see the irony of the stranger danger but in my defense, I am way fucking cooler than all those other weird dudes you meet on abandoned buildings in the middle of the night. At least I’m not wearing fucking horns. Or a cape, christ.”
His chatter and possible insults of various vigilantes washed over Kai in a wave as they tried to stop themself from staring and failed miserably. Wade’s face.
What they initially thought was just a trick of the light was put in stark relief from the lights of the street below and Kai could see with disturbing clarity just how fucked up it was. Every inch was cratered with deep, roping scar tissue, from the top of his skull to down his neck where the scarring disappeared into his clothes. His hair was gone, from his head to his eyebrows, to even his eyelashes. His hands, still gesturing, had the same violent pock marking that continued up his sleeves. Some areas looked like they were long since healed while others were still flaming red and raw.
Was he in a fire? Did somebody do that to him? It looked like he was melted.
God, that had to have hurt.
It took a moment before Kai noticed that Wade's voice had petered out almost entirely. They could barely hear him over the bees in their ears.
“-ace. -byface. Babyface,” he snapped his fingers in front of Kai’s eyes. They blinked hard, shaking their head like they could dislodge the buzzing. It helped, but only a little.
“You alright?” He asked. His eyes were dark and sharp and entirely too understanding for Kai to be able to deal with.
“Ye- yeah,” they said, voice cracking like some tween. “Fine.” They grasped at the straws of the previous conversation (before Kai decided to go and have a whole crisis after just looking at the guy) desperate to make sure that they didn't ask anything of what happened to him. Or worse, have Wade offer the story. “Just, uh–. Just couldn’t get over how much you look like a teenage girl in an 80s movie.”
Wade paused, staring at them for a long moment, his eyes flicking around their face and behind them where their backpack was leaning.
Please don’t, they thought.
“Hey, screw you,” he said finally, propping his chin up on his hand and kicking his feet in the air. “I’m so much prettier than those airbrushed bitches. And I can pull off heels.”
“Oh yeah?” Kai grinned, hoping it wasn’t as shaky as it felt on their face. “And who told you that, your dilf?”
He put his other hand on his chin, looking up at them like a dog begging for table scraps. “Maaybee.”
“Yeah well,--” they stalled, “uh, good for you.”
He signed heavily, apparently undeterred. “Yeah, it is good for me. Good for him too, cause lemme tell you, he was going through it when we first met. I basically saved him. Rescued him, like a shelter dog. You know, if shelter dogs were made of knives and filled with lethal amounts of whiskey. And had anger issues bad enough to level a small island nation. And bit.”
“You know, I think dogs do that last one,” they said, heart rate finally coming back down.
“Not like he bites, Babyface,” he said. And then gave Kai a very exaggerated wink.
Kai rolled their eyes, looking back at their half set up sketchbook and pencils.
“I don’t think I needed to know that.”
“You asked,” he said with a shrug. “Welp, if that's all you’re getting up to up here, I think it’s time for me to exit scene left, bear not included.”
“You’re leaving?” Kai could hear a surprising amount of disappointment in their voice. Didn’t they want to be alone in the first place?
“You know me, Babyface. Things to do, asses to kick, all that jazz,” he said, standing and stretching and dear god, he was tall.
“I actually don’t know you,” they said, trying to hide the sudden, inexplicable panic, “we literally just met.”
But instead of sniping back like they were trying to bait him into, Wade gave Kai the strangest look of surprise. The furrow of his scarred brows made odd shapes and shadows on his face and he tilted his head, looking a bit too much like a confused dog.
“What?” they said. “I’m right.”
“Nothin’, Babyface,” he said, the look disappearing. “Just shocked at how shitty your sense of self preservation is, Jesus Christ. I mean, the strange roof man is leaving and you’re what? Trying to get me to stay?”
“Hey! I think my judgement is fine, asshole. You’re just some harmless weirdo, not a fucking serial killer.”
“HAH.” Wade’s laugh was sharp and loud, and Kai instinctively looked at the street below. The last thing they needed was the cops showing up. “Listen, kid, take it from me. Just because I’m a peach fuckin’ pie, doesn’t mean I’m harmless. Now, stop talking to strangers, alright?” Grabbing the duffle bag from where it was next to Kai, he turned from them to walk toward the fire escape. He was leaving.
Fighting down the tightness in their throat, Kai called after him.
“See you around?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said with a lazy wave. “Don’t get yourself killed.” He hopped over the lip of the roof with a clang onto the stairs and after a moment of intent listening, the footsteps disappeared.
Kai was alone.
They tried to tell themself that it was for the best. Safer, even. The less people that knew where they were, the less likely he would be able to find them.
It didn’t make the sudden, cloying silence any less painful.