Chapter Text
"I think I'd like to find something big, like a minotaur, and try sucking its bull cock. Getting so much cum blown into my stomach to make it swell up, and getting covered in it like I fell into a mud pit sounds like a good time." I said that pretty confidently, but somehow my brother just had a face like he was struck by shot to the kidney.
"Who. Asked!?" He shouted, then palmed his face in one hand, while raising the other in my direction to stop my next words. "No, before that, why are you so obsessed with this stuff? This isn't exactly the first time you've brought this up, no matter how much I pretend otherwise."
"Because we're traveling to other worlds," I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. Which it was. "Food, safety, and sex, right? It's the most basic of basics, bro. Plus, normal guys are just totally boring—no offense—so monster cock is the way to go. If I had a magnum package like you, I might try to branch out to girls and work my way up, but since I don't… gotta pass on that level of things right now."
My brother let out a long groan, but seeing that he dropped his hand, I took that as at least tentative interest for me to go on. "I mean, I saw you looking at those big titties before. Can't tell me you aren't interested in some monster girl business!"
"That wasn't intentional! She wasn't wearing any clothes! And she was a half spider girl that was spitting lava! Even if I was interested—which I am not—my dick would get burned off!" My brother objected a little too rationally for my tastes, but I had to give it to him that it had been a little off putting to have a big spider mouth where her pussy should have been.
"True, but her sister was a cutie," I said with a shrug. "Look, I'm sure if I can find some minotaur cock or something like that, there'll also be like, a pretty slime girl that will milk you dry! What could be better?"
And whatever my brother had to say that (probably an agreement!) was lost, since it was around that time that stupid bitch ambushed us. I got separated, and lost, and then went for the first basic of food, and found you.
"I… don't even know what to say that," Paimon said with an eerily similar expression to my brother's. She whipped her head back and forth like she was a dog, and then pointed a finger at me dramatically. "No! I do know what to say! You're just a pervert! A pervert rescued me!?"
"Wrong!" I matched Paimon's finger pose, and then used my other hand to cover one eye like I was an anime character. "I am a SUPER pervert! There's nothing average about me!"
I'd always wanted to do that.
"Ehhh…" Paimon adopted another brother-ish expression, this one with a mixture of disdain and incredulousness. A perfect response. 10/10. Still not going to let her have the last word.
"Hey, who's the one who saved you? Hm? Hmmm?" I put my hands on my hips shifted my expression into something patently smug and superior. "Keep this up and your nickname will be Emergency Onahole."
"What's an onahole?" Paimon tilted her head, before gasping and waving her hands in surrender. "Never mind! I don't want to know! I'm sorry! I won't say anything more!"
"Good," I acknowledged with a nod. "Now, you said you were going to guide me, right? Where's the nearest minotaur?"
"I don't know what that is…" Paimon said with a heavy dose of apprehension in her voice.
"Hmm," I hummed as I quickly used my stick to draw a doodle in the beach sand. "A bit like this? They're basically like humanoid bulls. Big, maybe furry, horns, bipedal, but with a bull head and variable sorts of other features."
"Oooh… That's pretty similar to a mitachurl, I guess?" Paimon propped a thumb and forefinger around her chin as she examined my drawing. "Not exactly, but the horns and size and stuff is basically like that. They all wear big masks though, and nobody knows what their faces look like."
Bingo! My eyes practically lit up with stars. Paimon took my stick to draw another doodle that looked basically like what she described. Not quite my image of a minotaur, but close enough, even if there was one detail missing.
"How big's its cock?" The most important detail, even. "No, wait. I should just find out first hand. Lead on, guide of mine!"
"Ehhhhhhh…" Paimon looked like she wanted to leave, but I could see a sense of duty in her downcast eyes. She started floating across the beach. "I-I guess… it shouldn't be too hard to find some hilichurls…? Wait, what am I even saying!?"
As Paimon held her head in her hands, seemingly in despair, a small blob popped up from the beach waters behind her flight path. What else could I do but gasp in delight as I saw that… it was clearly a slime! It was practically a copy of the Dragon Quest slime, even!
Well, it's lacking the little pointy bit on the head that'd be perfect for a little action, and its eyes are less distinct, but still.
I smile, and grab it in a flash. It immediately started to wiggle and squirm in my grip, and as expected of a slime, I could feel my skin tingling from, maybe, some sort of digestive attack, but it was too weak to really have a chance of getting away.
"Eureka!" I shouted as I held up the slime. The sun glinted off its watery body, and then I flinched as the thing literally popped in my hands. "What?! No! Mr. Squiggle!"
"What are you doing?" Paimon turned back to me in confusion. All that was left of what should have been a new, dear, companion was some sticky condensation on my fingers.
"It's nothing…" I sniffled, and held my gunk covered hands together in a short prayer. "Just mourning my loss. I didn't realize that creatures in Teyvat were this fragile…"
"Well, a lot of them are pretty weak around these parts," Paimon said consideringly, grabbing onto another bit of conversation quite quickly. "But! You should still be careful! Monsters in the wild can get dangerous, and we might even run into something like a Ruin Hunter."
"Ruin Hunter?" I prompted, to which Paimon easily floated back to pick up another stick. She quickly sketched out what looked like a Big Zam with four arms instead of two legs. She also drew a little stick figure of me for scale, which told me it was around three times my size.
"Hmm," I hummed as I gave it a cursory glance. "It doesn't look very tough…"
It also looked a little bit familiar even without the Gundam comparison, but I shrugged it off as general déjà vu. I'd seen a fair number of things like it before, after all.
"It is dangerous!" Paimon crossed her arms with a scowl, before her expression shifted to something more carefree. "I haven't seen any around in Mondstadt, though. Ruin Guards are more common…"
This in turn led to Paimon giving me a quick rundown of most of the monsters hanging around the local region and… most of them seemed super disappointing!
"Are you sure that these Ruin machines aren't equipped with dicks or something?" The day had started off so well, and now I have to hear that there was an army of machines that wouldn't molest and ground pound you with vibrating super dildos? What kind of hack scientist even made these things!?
"Yes, I'm sure!" Paimon glared at me, before something seemed to shake her confidence. She put a hand to her mouth as a dark look swept over her face. "Wait… am I sure…? I-I've never looked at Ruin Guard codpieces very closely. Now that you bring it up, m-maybe they do…?"
"Perfect," I said with a satisfied feeling pouring out of me. "Just as long as there's a chance, I won't give up. No true scientist would ever neglect adding a dick onto their machine."
Sure, most of them didn't, but all that showed was just how few true scientists there were out there.
"What's that got to do with science?" Paimon looked at me in confusion.
"Evolution requires sex, Paimon." I wagged a finger at my ignorant guide, before spreading my arms magnanimously. "And while machines aren't usually biological enough to evolve, they're a perfect vector for experimenting further on such fields! Scientists should be using their machines to take, spread, and mix genetic information, otherwise they're just abandoning their duties!"
"R-really…?" Paimon blinked, mulling over my words for a moment, before she startled, and practically spun in a circle. She pointed a finger at me again in outrage. "Wait, no! I almost started to believe you for a second! That's clearly a lie!"
"Hmm," I murmured noncommittally. "Well, we should move on, right?"
Paimon looked at me suspiciously for a second, before she started to lead the way again. Which was fair. Now that I knew she was this gullible, I was absolutely set on working to convince her of my point of view. What's better than a knowledgeable guide? A perverted knowledgeable guide. Sure, Paimon was tiny, but where there was a will there was a way, and I was a girl well inclined to share the wealth!
"So, those are hilichurls, huh?" My remark was loud enough that a duo of the creatures flinched, and both looked in my direction. If this were a video game, I'd have seen a red exclamation mark, and an alert blare. It wasn't, but Paimon still did her best by giving a half groan, half whine, and floated back in a retreat.
They both had clubs, and immediately started charging at me while yelling something in a language I didn't understand. I dodged the first one, and tripped the second, who fell, and tumbled into a shrieking heap. "So, goblins? No… mini-minotaurs? Mm… I guess I'll hold off on the comparisons until I see the goods."
With that in mind, I quickly grabbed the other one by the scruff of its neck fur as it speedily backpedaled and tried another swing at me. He quickly joined his bro on the ground, and I wasted no time in ripping off his loin cloth.
"Well, well, well…" I grinned toothily as I saw a flaccid package with some heat. I knelt on one knee, and absentmindedly extended a foot to press down on the butt of the other hilichurl to keep him from attacking—or rather, escaping. "Not quite a bull cock, but definitely a nice one. Let's just call a spade a spade, here. You're quite the handsome hilichurl, ain't'cha?"
My words, strangely, seemed to make the guy I had half-pinned to freeze. The masks they wore kept their expression hidden, but I could detect something like surprise in his body language. I groped its balls gently, and my smile narrowed into something a bit slyer as I saw and felt it throb. That groping quickly went northward to change in a jerking motion as he started to harden properly.
His dick was pretty human-like, all things considered. It was big for his size, given that he was shorter than me by a few heads, but there was nothing really special about it. He had a nice big ballsack, that grew from its root into something about half the length and width of my admittedly thin wrists. It had a nice bulb of a head instead of the wirier thing, or a flatter one. I wasn't going to complain, since it still looked like a good time! There was a layer of foreskin, but it was only halfway covering the head as the hilichurl's erection went full mast.
"Mmh…" I didn't waste a moment, and opened my mouth to engulf it. "Mmgh!"
It was salty, but not unpleasant like I might have expected from one of two who'd been in the wild, cooking something in a pot with some fire flowers. There was a slight earthy taste that might have been dirt, but it wasn't exactly overwhelming like the times I'd gotten a face full of the stuff.
The hilichurl said a few more words I didn't recognize, and a coarse hand I hadn't held down brushed through my hair almost gently. Huh, how gentlemanly.
I licked under the foreskin, and hummed as there was a deeper taste, but not anything unpleasant. It was musky, but not filthy. He clearly bathes plenty, also a plus, really.
Sure, I was going to go all in no matter what for my monster cock, but that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate hygiene. Cleaning up filth and smegma wasn't really one of my fetishes, yet anyway.
I finished up lapping under his foreskin in my mouth, and went deeper. Even as I continued to pump the hand that I had wrapped around his quickly spit-shined dick, I pushed my head down until I felt that head bump against the back of my throat. Just a little under halfway…
I hesitated for one second, and then pushed it even more. That tight, uncomfortable feeling of my throat going wider than it should sent a thrill down my spine, even as the hilichurl made more indecipherable sounds. His hand wound its sharp-nailed fingers through my hand, and his hips thrust at the same time as that hand pressed down instantly had my nose buried into its furry pubic hairs.
"Gnhhk!" I choked around his cock, the unexpected intrusion bumping and slamming its way down my gullet. If this had been my first rodeo, I'd probably have started panicking, but at this point I was more than familiar with the unsettling sensation of my gag reflex trying to kick into gear. I swallowed—or tried to—around his cock, once, and then twice, and clenched, then unclenched my throat to force it to relax around the big dick halfway to my stomach. "Mmghk!"
Then, right as I felt the hilichurl start to pull on my hair, I tightened up my throat, and pulled up along with him.
"Dada! Dada!" The hilichurl groaned out, before immediately pushing down again before I was even halfway out, just as the head of his dick scraped against my uvula. The rhythm was established, and without even trying to breath, I worked together with him to give the best possible blowjob I could.
Sure, I'd learned to hold my breath for more than five minutes for entirely different reasons once upon a time, but I considered this to be far more useful than diving into the sea.
I'd let my hand fall downward when the hilichurl transitioned to deepthroating, but I didn't let it sit idle even as I did my best succubus impression. I gently massaged at his ball sack, never squeezing, but still caressing my fingers around the orbs held within. My other hand had also shifted from holding him down, to lowering down to his butt. I groped at the taut flesh, adding my enjoyment of the firm monster ass to the experience.
Just as I was really starting to get into the pace, I felt his balls contract. Almost in the same instant I felt his dick bulge, and his hot semen start to gush straight into my stomach as his hips gave one mighty thrust. I moved the hand on his balls to his other cheek, and sucked at his dick for all I was worth, even as his pubic fur bristled into my nostrils.
"Mmgk…!" I gurgled as I felt something shift, and semen started to backwash. Thick, creamy flavor flooded my mouth. It was almost tasted like milk, if that milk had a dose of fish oil, and the barest hint of raw onions.
It wasn't exactly great, but it wasn't the worst thing I'd ever had. I'd willingly guzzle down a few beer glasses of it if that got some engines revving.
That was neither here nor there, however, as I still didn't have the room to worth with, so it started to spilled out of not only my mouth, but my nose too. That was a pain, and my eyes started to sting from the cloying, thick pressure of the fluid. I gurgled, and choked so more. Even if I could hold my breath for way longer, the sensations were enough to disrupt some of my equilibrium.
The hilichurl, whether for his own satisfaction or something else, pulled my head off his cock, and I did my best to hold back the urge to immediately vomit out all the cum he'd shot into me. I held a hand against my mouth for a second, and swallowed. It was just a small gulp, and it was enough to settle things.
"Mmm…ahhhh…" I opened my mouth, letting the hilichurl—both of the hilichurls, as I just realized the other hand slipped out from under my foot, and was roughly jerking a hand over his own girthy member—see the still plentiful cum inside. "Mmh…!"
I swallowed thickly, once, and then twice. "Ahh."
And then let the two of them see my empty, pristine mouth. My tongue lolled out for a moment, before I pulled it back in to give them a wicked grin. Not only because of the second hilichurl's throbbing cock, just looking like it was waiting to explode, but because the first hilichurl, who had just gotten done spewing what felt like a liter of cum inside me, went full mast again instantly. Score! These guys are just as ready for this as I am!
I shifted my position, and my underwear, to present my drooling pussy to them. "Come get me, you big, beautiful bastards…"
The second hilichurl practically dove on top of me. His dick smacked against my stomach, and smeared what felt like a puddle of precum onto the front of my dress. I let out a pleased hiss, and grabbed his cock as he bucked it. "No, inside me!"
I didn't want him to put his baby batter anywhere but in one of my holes. What a waste that would be!
Without looking, I held his cock in a firm hold, and lined it up against my entrance. The very second that I loosened that hold he shoved all the way in me. "Ooh!"
It felt bigger than what I'd been expecting. I could feel my pussy walls stretching. "Yes!"
I felt a pair of hands grab at my legs, lifting me. Given that the hilichurl inside my pussy had his hands next to my head, I didn't resist the other one from manhandling me however he wanted. I felt my butthole pucker, expecting a double penetration from the angle, and was wholly unprepared to feel a second dick pressing against the same entrance the first dick was fully buried inside.
"Ooh!? W-wait, that won't fit, will it…?" Before I could even really start to rationalize anything, I felt the other hilichurl forcing himself inside. I'd felt like I was being stretched from just the one, but the sensations completely changed as the hilichurl somehow didn't have any issue splitting me further. "Ooh! Guuh… Gah…!"
I clenched my jaw as something that fluctuated between pain and pleasure blitzed its way up my spine. Neither of the hilichurls were moving, but they were both all, or nearly all the way down to the root of the cocks inside of me. If the first hilichurl wasn't lying flat on me, the horns of his mask poking against my ears, and his long ears wiggling in front of my eyes, I would expect to see that my stomach with a prominent bulge from their dicks.
That uncomfortable sensation changed completely as they moved. Without a word to one another, they started thrusting in and out like alternating pistons. One smacked against my cervix just as the other reached nearly the entrance of my pussy, to then violently slam down just as the other pulled away. "Oh! Oh, fuuuuck!"
I shrieked, and grabbed at the furry head of the one lying on me. The second hilichurl still held my legs aloft as he pulled and jerked at my body along with both of their thrusting. I was only touching the ground by my shoulders, and I could feel most of the weight of their bodies from each slam against me. Every single one of their thrusts were like hammers of pounding pleasure straight from my hips into my head. "Fuck! Fuck! Yes!"
I felt a rush of red-hot fire explode inside me—no, it was the hilichurl on top of me. He was cumming in me, but he didn't seem to want to stop to enjoy it. His dick kept slamming into me, even as my pussy was flooded with his semen. The wet sounds of sex became even more audible as the two of them turned my insides into a frothy mess. "Oh! Oooh! Yeeesss!"
The top hilichurl stopped for a few moments, finally not in tune with the bottom hilichurl, as I felt it throb and spurt out its gooey semen in one, two, three more mighty throbs. I could feel a thick wave of cum dripping down, sliding between my butt cheeks, and then spilling onto the ground.
I let out another groan at the sensation, which turned into more moans as the top hilichurl nuzzled against my clothed boobs for a second, murmuring something I didn't understand, and then immediately beginning to thrust in time with the other one again. "S-shit, you twoooo…! Have such great staminaaaa!"
I felt drool start to leak out of the corner of my mouth as I felt my body start to turn limp. The constant pleasure assaulting me had shifted from something to receive, into something that was being forced into me. Even though the hilichurls were way, way weaker than me, I couldn't feel any strength in my body any longer. The pain of being stretched had completely faded, along with practically everything else. The only thing I could feel was the incredible pleasure that their big dicks were jamming me full of.
"Fuck… yes…!" I groaned weakly. I felt another flood of fire, not from one of them, but both of them. Their dicks were all the way inside of me as they throbbed, and shot out more semen. Had it only been seconds ago since the first one came, or had I simply been lost in a haze of pleasure? I didn't care. "Oh… yes… fill me up…"
My moaned words were as weak as I felt, not more than a whisper, but it was a good whisper. I felt the grip of the one lifting my legs tighten, and the one on top of me growling something as he pressed his masked forehead against my collarbone. My weak grip on him loosened even more, and instead of trying to hold against him, I started brushing my hands through his hair. The unrelentingly pleasure shifted, and I drifted into something of a haze, like I was lazily floating in the clouds.
"Mm…" I hum as I felt the bottom hilichurl pull himself out, and gently set my butt down into the puddle of semen on the ground. He walked over, and knelt next to my head, his cum covered dick pressing against my lips. "Mm'kay…"
I opened my mouth, and sucked lightly as he buried it inside my throat. It tasted slightly different, like if you had that weird milk concoction from before, but added in a squeeze of citrus. I tilted my head back to allow for a straighter path, but didn't stopping brushing my hands through the other hilichurl as he remained firmly sheathed inside my pussy. I could hear him murmuring against my boobs, even as his hands rubbed against my sides, like he was taking in the shape of me.
The other hilichurl pulled his dick out of my mouth with a wet pop, and muttered something to his companion. The one on top of me grumbled something else, and then tilted up, possibly looking at me through his mask. He shook his head, and I didn't resist as he pushed himself off. "Oh…!"
There was a strange emptiness inside of me as he pulled his dick out of me, and I had to resist the urge to check if I'd been left gaping open. He imitated the other hilichurl, and pressed his dick against my mouth, asking for a cleanup. I quickly obliged. "Mmhm…"
In a few moments, I finished swallowing the remnants of their cum, and saw them celebrate their conquest. They gave each other high fives, and then start to dance. I shifted, and propped an elbow against the ground to then rest against my head on its palm, amusement running through me even with how tired, and sensitive I felt.
It was thanks to that angle that I finally saw Paimon hiding in some bushes. Strangely, instead of outraged, embarrassed, or even excited, like I might have expected, she looked alarmed. She waved her hands, and pointed in another direction. I turned, and was able to see the arrow right before it was loosed.
More on instinct than conscious thought, my body lurched, and my hand shot out, grabbing it right before would have gone through the head of the hilichurl that had been hugging me for most of the fucking. The two hilichurls shouted in surprise, and then, after whipping their heads towards the shooter, scampered. Far faster than their attacks against me, they blitzed away like lightning, and cut into the bushes on the opposite end from Paimon, effectively vanishing.
"Damn!" I heard the shooter growl, even as she rushed over to me. "Are you okay? …o-of course you're not okay. Um. Don't worry, I can get you some help right away."
The girl was a cutie. Even with her face scrunched up, and her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Her straight chestnut brown hair flowed down to the small of her back, and her bright red clothes gave me a red riding hood sort of vibe. Well, besides the big ribbon on top of her head also giving me a sorta bunny vibe too. Plus the goggles hanging from her neck, the supply back hanging from her waist, the bow, and other gear… okay, so not really a red riding hood feel at all. She was definitely some sort of experienced scout of some sort.
"I'm fine," I said, gingerly standing up, and giving her a bright smile. "Really, you don't need to worry about me."
"Of course I need to worry about you!" The girl shook her head wildly. "You've just gone through such a horrible experience!"
"Oh, no, it was great." I shook my head. "That was totally mutual. Probably."
I mean, I was pretty sure they were into it, especially given their victory dance, but I couldn't be one hundred percent certain.
"M-mut… what?" The girl's mouth worked for a moment, and confusion totally filled up her expression. Yup, definitely a cutie.
"She did it herself!" Paimon popped up next to me, startling the girl enough to have her jump again, hand on her bow. "Waah! Don't shoot!"