Chapter Text
“If my fans could understand, I’d want to go on family trips with my wife someday”
Oh, how wishful he was.
Kwon Soonyoung stopped believing in ever finding his true love. As if in this idol life he chose, he had time and energy to settle down with a wife.
Or maybe a husband.
Kwon Soonyoung always had eyes for his illegally gorgeous best friend. He just never had any time to properly explore those feelings he had for Lee Jihoon. So when both of them finally left for their mandatory military enlistment, Soonyoung finally, finally, could ponder about the way his heart beats ten times faster around his illegally attractive best friend.
The worst part? He actually had feelings for the younger one, and he wasn’t able to see Jihoon for the next month.
At the very end of every day, Soonyoung would lay down on his bed, and think about the endless possibilities with Jihoon if he ever did admit and confess his feelings. Sometimes, he’d imagine Jihoon’s ears turning red, like how it always does when he teased a little too much, and then pull his collar in a very desperate kiss, and then— okay, no.
How could he have a chance with the Lee Jihoon? His very-straight-best-friend, Lee Jihoon.
However, sometimes his imagination would take a darker turn. Like how maybe if he confessed to Jihoon, the shorter would just reject him completely, and their friendship would just be turned into dust right there and then.
God, either way, Kwon Soonyoung would still be so fucked for Lee Jihoon.
When he finally came into acceptance with his feelings (after endless nights of tossing and turning), he accepted that no matter what, he would still have feelings for the man. And he would never tell this to anyone, especially Jihoon.
⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Jihoon-ah,” Soonyoung called out, in the most gentlest voice ever.
“Hm?” Jihoon tore his eyes off his computer screen to look at Soonyoung.
Both of them have been on edge recently, they were nearing their enlistment date and well, who wouldn’t be nervous?
It felt suffocating.
That’s what he told Mingyu a few days ago, and now? He’s a mere 2 days away from serving his nation. Soonyoung isn’t any better, he’s only enlisting the day after him.
All both of them could do was just wait.
Soonyoung and Jihoon were similar in a way, they were obsessed with work and perfection.
So, they did the only thing they knew how to do for basically half of their lives: work. To just forget about that feeling of having to go.
Right now, Jihoon is in the studio, making yet another song, and Soonyoung is there with him to help. It was ridiculous, really. Their company had given them about a week to rest before their enlistment dates, yet they refused to rest. Even when with each day, the air between them felt so tense, like they were going to lose each other forever, as if they both had something to say, but couldn’t find the right words to express it.
“Why don’t we take a break? We’ve been working on this song for hours…” Soonyoung was lying down on the couch, one arm supporting his head, the other draped over his stomach.
Jihoon frowned in response, his eyes narrowed, and for some reason, he gives Soonyoung this look of dread. (Ugh)
“Yah, don’t look at me like that. It’s 12am. It won’t hurt to eat something,” Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrowed. Honestly, his eyes felt dry and tired, and he hasn’t eaten anything since 6pm. Soonyoung sits up, rummages through his bag, and pulls out two cup ramens. He knew this would happen, so he made sure to pack shin ramyun ramen cups, just in case.
Jihoon tilted his head at the taller one, “you really came prepared huh?”
“Of course I did. You’re a monster when you work. Now, let’s eat.” Soonyoung walked over to the kettle and filled it up with water.
Jihoon couldn’t help but let out a small smile. He was glad, that Kwon Soonyoung was his best friend out of all the 8 billion people in the world. The older always knew what Jihoon needed, and was willing to give it to him. Like right now, he needed to eat something cause he hadn’t realised how hungry he was until Soonyoung snapped him out of flow state.
After Soonyoung finished making the cup ramens, he placed it down on the table and handed Jihoon chopsticks.
“Thanks for feeding me, Soons.”
“Of course Jihoonie, I’m just the best.” Jihoon laughs, and rolls his eyes before basically inhaling his ramen.
While eating, the room was filled with nothing but the sounds of them slurping their noodles up. Then suddenly, Soonyoung just blurts out, “Jihoon-ah, did you know you’re the prettiest boy I know?” And gosh, Soonyoung just looks up at him with those eyes. Those very pretty eyes. Jihoon would never admit it to Soonyoung’s face, but “Hoshi” was such a fitting stage name for Soonyoung. His gaze was just as attractive and sharp as a tiger’s. And now, he’s using those very same eyes on Jihoon.
Jihoon swore he was going to die from embarrassment. He felt his face heat up, and the pressure build up in his ears. (And maybe a slight tingling in his stomach..?)
“Yeah, yeah. Keep saying that and I might actually believe you.” Jihoon lets out a small chuckle and throws a crumpled tissue at Soonyoung lightly. Soonyoung smirks and snickers at Jihoon. “Do you? Your face is so red Jihoonie~!” Jihoon rolls his eyes and looks away from Soonyoung’s eyes out of instinct.
After the giggles died down, silence filled the room once again. It’s never awkward, they’ve known each other for so long and actually clicked well together, since the start. Believe it or not, despite always bickering at each other, they’ve only fought seriously a couple of times, despite their differences.
They may have similar working styles, but Soonyoung and Jihoon were different in a way.
Soonyoung would always show his affection shamelessly towards the members, even Jihoon. He would give hugs out like it was his duty, and curl beside members like it was second nature.
While Jihoon was more reserved. He showed his affection more subtly, gave compliments when needed, letting members hug him when he could feel how much they needed it, even though he has always disliked skinship. Seungcheol would always say, “Your hugs are as expensive as your wooahae, Jihoon.”
So it was common for Soonyoung to call Jihoon pretty, or even drop a few pick up lines once in a while. Of course, Jihoon knows it doesn’t mean anything. (...right?)
So why was it when Soonyoung called Jihoon the prettiest boy he knew in the studio that night, his chest tightened?
That night and every night after that, Jihoon realised he was down bad.
When the time came for military enlistment, the producer would stare at the ceiling at night after a long day of training, contemplating if his feelings for Soonyoung were mutual. Perhaps Soonyoung wasn’t joking when he said Jihoon was the prettiest of them all. Even if he was, Jihoon was fucked for Soonyoung in every way.
Every little thing reminded Jihoon of his best friend, and his heart would ache. Once when they had to run rounds, someone shouted out “One more guys! We can do this!” Jihoon’s thoughts floated to the times when Soonyoung would encourage the members exactly like this during practice. Jihoon shook his thoughts away and focused on running again, but at the back of his mind, Kwon Soonyoung was living there rent free.