Chapter Text
so working with Constantine might sound like a dumb choice cause it is, his terrible luck and penchant for trouble surely don't help when he already thinks he ruins everything he touches he's not an easy person and everyone knows that but when push comes to shove he shows time and time again that for all the self loathing and hatred he has he truly does put others first, he acts like he's this selfish asshole which yeah he can be sometimes but anyone that truly knows him understands that more than anything he's trying to keep others away and save himself the hurt of possibly ruining someone else.
but there's always the rays of light that ignore the curtain that is his personality those moments of genuine care for the people around him and this is one of them
finding random ladies and even lads running around with way too tight clothing and glitter all over their face seems to become the norm around the clubs and bars around this part of town, all the way too enthusiastic uni kids being as rowdy as John was back in the day... well considering his past these kids only big problem is being annoying and loud plus the headache they'll deal with in the middle of morning classes something he's quite glad is not a worry for him though having a hangover while dealing with the shit he deals in the daily is probably about a hundred times worse a group of pissed nineteen year olds bumps into him he has half a mind to be annoyed but what he's here for is way more important than that so he just walks away focusing on the cig he's smoking rather than the apologies of a drunk party girl.
a few days ago he heard of some weird activity around these parts and got a job to look at it which doesn't sound too weird but then again were not talking too loud pop music and scandalous rendezvous more like ghouls and ghosts or at least is what it sounds like, people being awfully spooked and the sudden avoidance of what used to be a pretty popular spot or at least it's what he was told not like he'd ever frequent any of the establishments around here god knows the last thing he needed was people half his age thinking he'd ever give them the time of day..ugh whoever popularized the daddy and dilf thing or whatever these teens say nowadays deserves nothing short of a trip straight down. When he finally arrives at where the supposed paranormal problem that even brought him here in the first place he was greeted by a single lad sitting down in what was most likely the chair a bouncer used to stay at and let people in back when anyone would even try to get in
"Can I see some id?"
the boy cause thats what he was a kid, barely even twenty if john had to hazard a guess asked smiling like he told the best joke of the decade or maybe he was just one of those assholes who smiled all the time...probably a mix of both but regardless the oh so not amused look he gets in return only makes him let out a snort
"oh come on you old geezer im just playing around, its like when cashiers ask grans for their id to make their day"
the boy looked right at home dressed like someone who's out clubbing not that he'll ever understand why someone would go out of their way to wear tight shorts,tights and glitter, at least the purple leather jacket he could respect not his style, but at least a good jacket is a good jacket
"well thanks for trying to make my day then brat now if you'll excuse me"
putting out his cigarette and throwing it in a conveniently placed trash can definitely put there cause of the assholes who'd simply thrown the butts of cigs on the floor, John may be guilty of doing much of the same but the about thousands of times he heard it from all types of people gave him enough of a sense to at least try not to do it anymore.
as soon as he steps into the bar that to no surprise is about as empty as he was told only a lonely person talking to the bartender and by talking he obviously means someone who's laying it on quite thickly, huh at least he wont have to worry about the bartender reacting to anything or trying to stop him for whatever shenanigans are bound to develop no people bothering him that is aside from the boy from before who decided to follow him inside
"okay kid what?"
"oh I'm sorry ghostbuster you wanted to do this alone?"
the brat surely knew how to be annoying. That's for sure, uni kids are already a pain but a sassy one who apparently decided to tag along like john was a dog doing a trick? great just what he needed, the sigh that comes from him doesn't seem to deter the kid any
"ghostbuster?"
"yeah, i mean why else would a guy or gal come to the bar everyone says is haunted?"
"to try and get with the bartender"
he motions with his head to the couple or soon to be who are way too focused on their conversation to even acknowledge people aside from them are here
"yeah well i don't think thats what you're here for, plus if that was the case you already lost your chance those two are moving the 'conversation' to the breakroom anytime soon"
"Hopefully, I wouldn't put past them to not even move, what are you doing here then? ghost hunting like a fucking idiot in the mistery gang?"
"i guess you could say that, im Comrad though im more of a buffy kind of guy but if you're here i guess i could use a giles"
oh great 90s tv show references just when he thought the kid... Comrad couldn't get worse
"listen Comrad how about you piss off and go get wasted like all the other uni kids in the other fifteen bars around here"
"nah i dont even go to school plus the ones around here are way out of my budget, id rather hit a spoons plus i actually would prefer hanging out in the haunted one"
"That's how you end up possessed or into some supernatural trouble, have you ever watched a horror movie?"
"nah ghosts wouldnt posses me, plus i have a charge rate"
"im going to ignore the last part, what makes you so sure ghosts wouldn't be drawn to you kid?"
Comrad just smiled and yeah hes definitely one of those little shits who smiles all the time, he looks like he's been holding back the piece that concludes a puzzle or like whatever he's about to say is the best thing since the wheel but instead he just keeps smiling reaches into the pocket of his jacket and takes out a little piece of wood with something carved on it
"cause i don't want them to"
ah great just when the kid couldn't be more like a younger version of himself he thinks as he looks down at the carvings in the wood a kid who's annoyingly over his head and messing with magic, john can only hope the kid has yet to put himself into trouble too big to get out of
"go home and stop playing with things you don't understand before you end up getting yourself or worse people around you killed"
"nah thats not gonna be a problem theres no one around me plus i know what im doing or at least enough to not fuck up extraordinarily"
"listen just go home, you might think this is fun or whatever but take it from me once you get pulled in too deep you won't be able to get out"
he throws back the wood with the carvings of protection runes sure that is a clever idea and not a lot of people seem to use runes anymore but as impressive as this could be this is a kid who still has the chance to have a normal-ish life
"Let me guess, personal experience? listen very dear of you to care but im not getting out...even if i wanted. now are you actually gonna deal with this ghost or are we letting people keep calling this hellbar?"
"listen WE aren't fixing this I am, i don't know what you think you're doing but you still have the chance to go study and find a normal boring job and life"
this kid truly was just like him back in the day stubborn and a bloody idiot but before the argument could progress further a loud noise comes from what can only be assumed is the back of the bar looking back to where the only other two people here were they're nowhere to be seem huh at least they didn't got down out in the open
"please tell me this was actually a ghost and not those two just being stupid idiots"
John says while rubbing his face and wondering which one might be worse and landing quite quickly that two horny idiots is a worse fate than a ghoul or a poltergeist not that spirits were that awful most of the time they're more annoying than anything
He sighs and tries to think if letting this one go would even be that bad its not like londoners can't deal with a ghost bloody hell the ghost might be the one that suffers here, but before the thought of walking away can even begin to solidify he notices the brat walking right to whatever that noise might be oh great yeah he's got a babysitting job now...
he runs after the idiot knowing damn well that if his luck is anything to go by things will go to shit any moment now
as the two walk into the breakroom smelling of nicotine and nauseating cherry or strawberry kiwi those stupid vapes smells that seem to take over the place in anywhere young hipsters are nowadays if that wasnt enough to make john wrinkle his nose in disgust seeing the lady from before seemingly passed out in the couch with her pants pulled down sure was he tries not to make a disgruntled noise as he looks away
"Hey, what are you two doing here? The room is busy, never heard of knocking? why don't you and your twink find another place to go" she complains through slurred words while making herself presentable again still giving them a displeased look as the two men simultaneously make a disgusted noise at her implication of what they're here for like john said earlier whoever came up with the dilf thing definitely deserved to spend a few weeks in hell for making his life this much more awkward
"don't even ugh... we heard a loud ass noise and where even is the bartender?" Comrad asks choosing to focus on the actual important thing here instead of dealing with someone who's not only piss drunk but clearly an arse
"the twat apparently came down with something and decided running through the backdoor was more interesting than me... let me high and dry, can you believe that..ugh men nowadays" she goes right back to complaining as the two come to the same realization and look at each other as she picks up her things and walks away still talking a storm
"are you thinking what im thinking?" he asks while reaching into his pocket to grab a cig before opening the aforementioned backdoor while holding it in place so the kid could follow as he lits his cig, hell he’ll do it regardless so maybe if theres adult supervision he’ll keep from being too big of an idiot or make a big fuck up
fuck he sounds like a parent who lets their children drink with them cause better at home than in the streets or some shit like that not that he’d actually know about pareting techniques or use them on a random kid he met about a half hour ago
“that a ghost possessed someone mid-fuck?” he hears the laugh that they both left out reverberate across the empty backstreet as the heavy door closes making the same loud noise as before, he looks around wondering if he’s lucky enough for the ghost to not have run away and instead have chosen to try a post coitus smoke in spirit form, how weird would that be
“yeah and now we need to find it and send it back to wherever it came from, ever dealt with a ghost kid?”
“once, i don’t think having ghosts in the basement of an old house is actually comparable to this though, those poor souls didn't really know the disappearing act”
“do me a favour and stop trying to be funny, but yeah not the same at all I'm guessing an old lady died naturally and then stuck around? this thought an actual ghost haunting and possessing stuff”
“yeah old people and natural causes” Comrad says as his smiles tightens in an uncomfortable scowl before going back to a stupid grin, he has half a mind to ask what that was about but the ghost is a more pressing matter plus he’s not sure he wants to know about whatever can of worms that kid is bound to have so he does the natural thing and ignores it completely
“So you know how we find a specific ghost in the middle of London?"
“What is this dora the explorer now?”
“i thought you said you could use a giles, this is me being a watcher and teaching you brat”
“oh so you did watch buffy? okay so…location spell? we can find the bartender he possessed”
“not a bad idea but do you even know how to do that? or what you'd need?”
“uhh sort of, is this the wrong answer?”
“not quite, could work but then again there's always a simpler and faster way of doing it”
good god he is starting to actually sound like giles or any of the old wise mentors in all the coming of age stories, how did he end up with a teaching and babysitting gig for a new magician well obviously thats just his life why couldnt the kid had ended up annoying zee or literally anyone else more fitting to pull a kid away from danger he doesnt know whos more unlucky in this situation him or Comrad
“Ask a ghost, well you'll need to know a ghost for this trick,but hopefully London is my city and I know some ghosts, so what do you say we have a chat with some of them?”