Chapter Text
"Who said this marriage is working?" The words left Bobby's lips before he could stop them, surprising even himself. But what surprised Bobby even more was that he wasn't done yet. "We're not partners, because that's how you want it," he snapped before turning on his heel walking away. If he had looked behind him he'd have seen the hurt expression Athena barely hid, the tears she couldn't hide, but he didn't turn around. The next few days blurred, Bobby slept on the couch, or on a cot in the firehouse to give her space, Athena made sure she was up and out of the house long before he woke up, and May just hoped that they'd finally talk things through soon, tired of the icy silence that was so unlike them. The house felt like a war zone, even though no one was speaking, even Michael, David, and Harry were avoiding stopping by for any reason.
It finally all came to a head one evening when May was at work, intentional on Bobby's part. He entered the kitchen, where Athena was sipping a glass of wine, seemingly lost in thought as she scrolled through old photos of the two of them, their family, wondering how things had gotten so bad, not noticing him until he quietly cleared his throat, making her jump slightly before darkening her phone screen, setting it down. Bobby couldn't meet her eyes as he set something in front of her that made her heart stop. "Separation papers?" She asked, looking down at the papers, forcing her mask of cool indifference to stay in place, though her eyes were a dead giveaway to her true feelings. She couldn't fall apart now, let alone because of a man, couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her break. After a moment the hurt in her eyes transformed into something akin to rage. She had been working up the nerve to apologize for her part in their fight, expecting him to be doing the same, clearly he wasn't. "You want a divorce?" She hoped her voice wasn't as hollow as it sounded to her.
"I do," he said quietly. "Athena, you were right when you said that marriage is not a tit for tat game, but I don't think either of us knows how to do anything else."
A bitter scoff escaped her lips as she looked up at him. "Do not throw my words back in my face, Bobby Nash." The words came out cold, raw, hurt.
"I'm not trying to, 'Thena." The nickname slipped out easily, just as most of their relationship had been, until now.
Athena knew that the words about to leave her mouth were a low blow, but my god, she felt like such an idiot. So if she made him feel like one too, so be it. "So, where do you plan to run off to this time?" She ignored the look he shot her, the guilt pooling in her gut. "God knows you're gonna run from LA now that things are gonna be a bit of a challenge. What's the plan? Minnesota probably wouldn't take you back, not that you're ready to face your past there. Florida's where my parents are, you're not gonna risk bumping into them."
"I'm not leaving LA," he finally spoke, his voice rough with unspoken emotion. He noticed her surprised expression and let out a humorless chuckle. God, this woman knew him far too well. "Buck, Eddie, Hen, and Chim all threatened to quit when I casually mentioned putting in for retirement."
"Our friends knew you were planning to leave before I, your wife did?" The rage was back, though this time not soley aimed at Bobby, but a bit at Hen too, her closest friend. Her closest friend who didn't tell her that her husband was thinking about leaving town.
"It wasn't like that. I just didn't know how to tell you I wanted a divorce, Athena. And don't be mad at Hen, she didn't think it was her place to tell you, and she was right, but she pushed me to let you know I was thinking about leaving sooner rather than later." Yeah, she might've known him better than anyone, but he knew her just as well.
"You mean you didn't know how to tell me you don't want me anymore." She tried to put up a tough front, but a glint of pain slipped through her words. "And do not tell me not to be mad at Henrietta, she knew we aren't getting along at the moment, and she didn't warn me about this." She gestured to the separation papers, though really she meant the idea of him leaving. She knew he'd never tell his team about the divorce before telling her, he still had some decency left in him, though he tried to act like he didn't, as if all he was was his mistakes.
He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "That isn't it, Athena. I-" I'm not worthy of breathing the same air as you, I never have been. The thought had always lingered in his mind, though he'd tried to push it away, to believe her when she said she loved him. But men like him weren't worthy of love, no matter what the people in his life claimed.
"You?" She prompted, gesturing with one hand for him to continue, even though every word he spoke felt like her heart was being ripped open.
He paused, trying to think of an excuse, but all he could think about were their good moments, the moments that felt like light, not the ones that felt heavy as a stone. "I should have died back in Minnesota, Athena. LA was supposed to be my penance, it was never meant to be home. I got too comfortable, and now I'm being reminded that I was never meant to have this, it wasn't God's plan for me," he said, causing a bitter laugh to bubble up in her chest.
Athena shook her head. "Do not use God as an excuse to run away, I'm not stupid, I know something else is going on. The Bobby Nash I know and love would never be this cowardly, not after how hard you've worked to not just survive." Athena was trying her best to stay strong, but the tears were so close to falling, and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to stop them.
"The Bobby Nash you know only came to LA to outrun the fire he caused, the mistakes he made!" Bobby argued. He needed Athena to see that this divorce was for the best, that him leaving her was for the best, so he came to a decision, he'd lie to her. "The Bobby Nash you knew loved you, but maybe I'm not that man anymore, maybe he never existed," he stated, his breath catching as he watched her reaction, the way it looked like she'd been physically struck. He hadn't wanted to do it, but he knew just where to hit to get her to give up the argument. The chink in her armor, the idea he no longer loved her. It was as absurd as the sky being green, but it worked, she gave in.
"Well, I hadn't realized you felt that way," she said quietly, looking away to discreetly wipe away a tear, hoping he didn't notice, but he did. Of course he did. "We can go to the bank tomorrow to sign these papers and get them notarized."
He nodded in agreement, eyes aimed at the documents, he knew he couldn't meet her eyes, his resolve would shatter in an instant. "Meet at the bank before our shifts start?" He asked casually, as if they were discussing the weather, not the breakdown of a marriage some would consider still in its infancy.
Athena nodded, and then paused. "Where are you going?" She inquired as he started to leave the room. She cursed her treacherous heart for caring what he did when he was the one asking for their destruction.
"Um…I assumed it would be better for me to go ahead and move out so I'd be out of yours and the kids ways. I got a new place, move in later this week," he explained awkwardly, fidgeting with the keys in his hand. Athena's eyes widened in shock, though she quickly schooled her expression, praying he didn't notice. He'd already found a new place to live? Just how long had he been planning this separation? She wasn't sure she wanted to know that answer.
She nodded in response, and then forced herself to find her voice. "You're probably right. I'll tell May, Harry, and Michael about our separation all tomorrow. Thank you for being considerate of May's presence when you decided to bring up our separation." It hadn't been lost on her that he'd waited until they were home alone, a rare occurrence, before he brought up the possibility of ending their marriage, she was grateful for it. Pretending to be fine around him was one thing. But somehow, around her kids, it was harder. All three of them could read her like a book, but when her world was falling apart, she wanted to protect May and Harry from seeing her fall apart.
Athena didn't watch him leave the room, but she did hear their bedroom door open, assuming he was probably packing. She didn't have to face him to be able to picture exactly what he was doing, she knew him too well. Knew the methodical precision he'd use while folding his clothes, putting them into bags, the way he'd be careful, not wanting to leave anything behind, but not wanting to accidentally take anything of hers. A few minutes later she heard the quiet jingle of keys, presumably him removing the house key from his key ring. She heard him set the key down, and then she heard the door.
The gentle but decisive sound of the door closing sounded like a gunshot in the silence of their home…her home. She couldn't call it theirs anymore. She sat at the table awhile longer, not noticing the tears rolling down her cheeks, her mind replaying that conversation, as if there was some reason, some way to see that he didn't mean it, was confused, coerced, something, anything to prove to herself that this was a dream, a nightmare, not real.