Archive of Our Own

Yeonjun's routine was simple—so simple he had it memorized, no need to check a list.

Attend class. Clock in to his part time gig at the studio. Get home. Shower. Eat dinner. Pretend he wasn't in love with Choi Soobin. Run through his skin care routine. Go to bed. Wake up and do it all again the next day.

There were a few reasonable deviations, winter break being one of them. Normally, Yeonjun got bored over the holidays. He was a little bit of a doer. He liked being busy. With classes out, there were hours of the day that he spent doing nothing. He'd tried to pick up more shifts at the studio just to feel productive, but it hadn't panned out. It seemed like everyone was going on vacation for the holidays—students and instructors alike.

He was just lucky that none of his roommates were going home, which felt like a crazy statement to make, but well, it was true. Yeonjun liked his roommates. They were all (mostly) neat and tidy, and all of them were respectful. They never needed to revisit the list of rules pinned on the fridge, and the best part was that they were all genuinely friends. Yeonjun enjoyed their company. In the case of one particular roommate, he enjoyed it a little too much.

Unfortunately, with the close proximity and the free time, he was having a difficult time with one of the items on his routine checklist. Arguably, it was the most important one.

The thing about Yeonjun and crushes was that he had always had them. And whenever he had them, they took over just about every free thought he had. He'd fall fast and hard and have to pick up the pieces after it inevitably blew up in his face. With Soobin, though, it was just… different.

When did it start? Yeonjun didn't know. One day he had woken up and it was just there, like maybe it always had been a piece of him and he just never realized before. Once he noticed it, he couldn't pretend he hadn't. Soobin just had this quality that made it very, very difficult not to fall in love with him. Everyone had been there at least once before, despite what they might say. Yeonjun was just the latest victim of the spell.

The holidays were making it exponentially worse. Soobin would come home looking haggard, an outright mess, and all Yeonjun would be able to think about was how pretty he looked with his cheeks and nose red from the cold. On top of that, the holidays made Yeonjun more sentimental than usual, so much so that it was like he had been possessed.

Everything was romantic. Everything, down to the way Soobin sometimes knocked on his door to ask if he had any laundry that needed doing so Soobin could add it to a load of his. Down to the way they'd sit on the sofa and fold their freshly dried clothes together in silence. When their hands brushed while reaching for the hamper at the same time and Yeonjun felt sparks at the skin-on-skin contact, it was because of romance and definitely not because of the static from the dryer. When they bickered over how to fold shirts correctly, it was the kind of bickering that was decidedly married couple-like, not just friendly ribbing. When Soobin's thigh pressed against his, it was an intentional act of seeking out touch, and not just the fact that both of them were taking up decidedly more space than necessary on the sofa with all their manspreading. Clearly, the ghost of Christmas Delusion had Yeonjun in a chokehold.

He counted his blessings, thankful that at least Soobin seemed painfully unaware of it all. To Soobin, it was nothing but friendly teasing when Yeonjun was the first to steal from whichever batch of festive treats he had baked on the weekends, fresh off the baking tray and hot enough to singe his fingertips and the roof of his mouth. It was friendly when Yeonjun picked up groceries for both of them instead of just himself, an act of generosity that Soobin paid back in kind. It was friendly when it was their turn to cook dinner and Yeonjun laughed loudly at the way Soobin burned and over-salted the stir-fried vegetables, but was still the first to taste them.

He was content just being friends with Soobin. He didn't need anything more than that.

"I don't believe you," Taehyun said flatly. It was his turn to run the weekly attempt at staging an intervention. "With the way you look at him? Sorry, Yeonjun. There's no way."

"I don't need you to believe me," Yeonjun replied, arms crossed over his chest. He leaned back against the cabinet with a frown. "Why do you even care so much? It's not like it affects you who I do or don't have feelings for."

"Wrong," Taehyun said. "The vibe is off and it's your fault. You're the one who broke the cardinal rule of not catching feelings for a roommate. If you two crash and burn because of it, all of us will suffer the consequences."

Said cardinal rule was listed exactly nowhere on the rule sheet pinned to the refrigerator, so Yeonjun decided not to comment.

"You are overly invested in my love life."

Taehyun threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Your love life directly affects my living situation!" He said. "I have a right to be invested."

"But there's no need to be worried," said Yeonjun. "I've got it all under wraps. Under control. No biggie."

Taehyun, self-proclaimed chill guy, looked a thread away from snapping or exploding into flames. It was honestly a little impressive, if not terrifying.

"I'm giving you until Christmas Eve to get your shit together," he said, tone serious. "If you don't make a move by then, I'm getting involved."

More involved than cornering Yeonjun in the kitchen and threatening him? Yikes. A shiver crept down his spine at just the thought.

"That's two weeks," he complained.

"You've been complaining about having nothing to do," Taehyun replied, raising his eyebrows. "This should take care of that."

But Yeonjun already spent most of his free time agonizing over all things Soobin-related. A two-week timetable to confess didn't change much, especially when it was based on empty threats. Instead of responding, he just frowned deeply, the kind of frown that was habitual and hard to stop.

"You're a grown man," Taehyun chided him, turning to rifle through the pantry cabinet for snacks. He emerged with a bag of shrimp chips clutched in one hand and a severe point of his free index finger towards Yeonjun's chest. "Act like it. Tell him how you feel, or so help me…"

"Tell who how he feels?"

Speak of the devil. It was Soobin, of course, wandering into the kitchen despite how cramped the space was already. He looked freshly plucked from bed, the kind of puffiness to his face that only came from a good, long nap, rumpled, his hair sticking up awkwardly in some places.

"Three's a crowd," Taehyun mumbled. He gave Yeonjun one last serious look before slipping out of the kitchen with his snack. Soobin watched him go, a dazed expression on his face, before turning to Yeonjun.

"What was that about?" He asked, voice thick and slightly hoarse.

Yeonjun didn't want to answer. Instead, he countered, "Did you just get up? It's almost four in the evening."

"So?" Soobin frowned, his whole face scrunching. "I worked closing. You're lucky I didn't sleep 'til six."

He looked a little lost, too tall and out of place in the kitchen, scratching at his stomach beneath his t-shirt. A little like he was still partly asleep. The roundness of his puffed up, rosy cheeks made Yeonjun want to pinch him.

"I think you're the lucky one," he said instead, though his fingers twitched at his sides, impulsive and restless. "If you got up at six, you'd miss my cooking. What do you say? Hungry?"

Soobin was one of the few roommates who would never turn down the offer of someone else cooking. He clasped his hands together as if in prayer, turning his hopeful eyes on Yeonjun, his hair still a mess.

"Starving," he said, dropping the act when Yeonjun remained—at least outwardly—unimpressed. Internally, his heart was racing fast enough to be dangerous, as it always did when he was this close to Soobin. "What were you thinking of making? I'll help."

Yeonjun snorted.

"No you won't," he said. "You're a hazard to yourself and everyone around you when you're this tired. Just go sit down and wait. It'll be a surprise."

Soobin wrinkled his nose, but obeyed. Yeonjun could feel eyes on him as he got started pulling things out of their designated places, and every time he turned it was Soobin watching him, his cheek resting on his hand, eyelids half-shut. He met Yeonjun's gaze unflinchingly every time. Something in his eyes made Yeonjun's skin prickle and burn as hot as the pan on the stove.

"Thank you," Soobin mumbled when Yeonjun slid a full plate of hot food across the table. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

It was all flattery, meant to butter Yeonjun up, but Yeonjun's body and heart didn't know the difference. He tingled all over like Soobin really meant it.

"Starve, probably," he said. Soobin laughed around his first bite and nearly choked on it.

Two weeks was both too short and too long a period of time. Depending on the matter, it only took about an hour for Yeonjun to get his shit together, as Taehyun so sweetly put it. For this matter in particular, Yeonjun was being uncharacteristically unproductive, going as far as procrastination, digging his heels in against it. He also refused to think about it for more than a few minutes. It was enough to drive any sane person crazy.

Unfortunately, Yeonjun wasn't being given much of a choice. It seemed like anywhere he turned, there were knowing looks and a timer ticking down. If that wasn't enough, he was being interrogated at every turn.

"You talk to Soobin yet?" Kai asked, plopping himself down suddenly on the sofa beside Yeonjun, and Yeonjun barely had time to process the idea that everyone was in on this scheme and scowl before he followed up with, "No? Well. Can't say I'm surprised, but you might want to hurry it up before the party."

Kai had to be an evil genius, the way he so expertly diverted Yeonjun's emotions from irritation to intrigue.

"Party?" Yeonjun asked. "What party?"

Kai gave him a look of wide-eyed innocence that could have been entirely false or perfectly genuine. He never quite knew with Kai. There was a gold heart beneath it all anyway, self-serving only in that making others happy made him happy. Whatever scheme he was cooking up with Taehyun's—and most likely Beomgyu's—assistance, it could never be malicious. Yeonjun was suspicious up until the answer fell out of Kai's mouth.

"I was thinking we could do a holiday party this year," he said. "On Christmas Eve. The five of us could get a tree and decorate it. We could do all the good stuff, festive costumes and food, really go all out, since we'll all be here."

Oh.

That sounded… nice, actually. Almost deceptively nice.

Doer or not, Yeonjun had always liked the month of December, even before he knew Soobin was born in it. He grew up out of the joy of presents fast, and kept liking December for the festive spirit instead. Especially as an adult, the closer Christmas got, the more sentimental he became, and the more he dreaded it being over. December was the one part of winter that felt warm and cozy before suffering through two more months of aggravating cold and seasonal depression. The lights, the snow, the displays in every storefront, the little acts of kindness from person to person, and Soobin's face over a grainy video call. That was December to Yeonjun.

The idea of costumes was brilliant, too. It gave Yeonjun something to do. Something to make. A fresh excitement brewed inside him, and he perked up.

"That sounds great," he agreed. "Whose idea was it?"

"Mine," Kai said. "I grew up doing stuff like that. I thought it would be fun to do something similar with you guys."

Yeonjun couldn't help himself from leaning across the couch into Kai's space to pinch his cheeks, overcome with affection. Kai's skin was red and blotchy beneath his fingers, a laugh in his throat, by the time Yeonjun finally let him go.

"But you should probably confess before then," Kai added, and the suspicion came back tenfold. "I wouldn't put it past Taehyun to… make arrangements of some kind."

The idea was so ominous that it gave Yeonjun chills.

"Like what, mistletoe?" He frowned thoughtfully. "All we'd have to do is walk away."

"Mistletoe is more your style of meddling," Kai agreed. Yeonjun resented that statement, but well, Kai wasn't wrong. "Or Beomgyu's. I was thinking something more along the lines of locking you two in a closet until you talk things out."

Sinister, but practical. One hundred percent something that Taehyun could accomplish. Kai also seemed to have thought it out extensively, which made him an accomplice by association. By the sound of things, if Yeonjun didn't confess and get his heart broken and ruin everything beyond repair, he was at the very least setting himself up to have a long-term nemesis for the remainder of the lease.

"So stay away from closets. Got it."

Kai shook his head.

"Just confess!" He said. "Get it out of the way. It doesn't need to escalate. We're all rooting for you two, you know."

But there was just one thing Yeonjun couldn't understand. If they were all so convinced it was mutual, why was he the only one on the receiving end of all these lectures? If it was so mutual, why hadn't Soobin made a move?

"I'll think about it," Yeonjun said. In reality, he was preparing to put it out of his mind entirely in favor of putting together something brilliant for the party. He already had so many ideas. This was the something to do that he had been looking for, delivered to him on a silver platter. Thank you, Huening Kai, a gift to humankind. "So, what were you thinking of dressing up as for the party?"

Kai held a finger up to his lips.

"It's a secret," he said, eyes gleaming. "You'll find out when you find out."

"Jesus. Should I be worried?"

"You should always be worried," Kai said. He patted Yeonjun's knee comfortingly and stood up. "But it's not me you have to worry about."

Yeonjun wasn't buying that for a second. Talking with Kai only emphasized the fact that everyone in this damn house, with the exception of Soobin, was up to no good.

He was on thin ice already, and he only had a little less than two weeks before it cracked beneath his feet.

There were still a couple classes in session at the studio, but the holidays had whittled them down to just a few stragglers. After the last twelve-year-old had been swept out the door by their mother in a rush, Yeonjun took a moment to breathe and formulated a plan for his costume.

He'd thought extensively over what to dress as and settled on one of Santa's reindeer. Not just any reindeer, but not Rudolph, either. That seemed a little too corny—Yeonjun wasn't keen on walking around with a bright red nose for hours, and it wasn't like it would be doing him any sexy favors. But he could probably pull off a sexy Prancer if he wanted to, which he did.

All that was left was buying the materials and putting them together. Yeonjun had exactly five hours to go thrifting and get back home in time to make dinner with Beomgyu. If he didn't want to be late, he should move fast. Good deals weren't going to just wait for him to come along. With his bag slung over his shoulder, Yeonjun stepped out into the biting cold of mid-December.

Four hours and several stops later, he was mostly satisfied with his finds. He also smelled like sweat and that very particular musty thrift shop smell that clung stubbornly to everything and was in dire need of a shower. Beomgyu accosted him eagerly at the door, peering into Yeonjun's bags like they were gifts for him.

"Stop it," Yeonjun said, fending him off with one of the bags like Beomgyu was an overexcited puppy. "Paws off."

"I want to see!" Beomgyu protested. "What are you dressing up as?"

"It's a secret, unless you're willing to trade information. What are you dressing up as?"

Beomgyu deflated like a balloon.

"I haven't decided yet," he said thoughtfully. "I'll probably just throw something together last minute. Do ugly sweaters count?"

"At that point, just wrap yourself in tinsel and say you're the tree."

Beomgyu stuck his tongue out as Yeonjun sneaked past him into the house, toeing his shoes off by the rack and changing them out for slippers. Soobin's pair were still there, he noticed, and his shoes were missing from the rack. He must have been out still.

"Hey, do you know if Soobin will be back in time for dinner?" He asked absently.

"Huh? I mean, probably. He's not working closing tonight, but you never know. If someone calls out they might rope him into staying longer."

And he would, too. Soobin's work-life balance was less of a balance and more of a sudden shift from one scale to the other. Yeonjun clicked his tongue in distaste.

"Trouble in paradise?" Beomgyu teased. At Yeonjun's forlorn sigh, he laid off a little. "Sorry, sorry. I won't bug you over it. I know Taehyun already gave you an earful, and you've heard it from Kai too. No pestering on my end though, I swear."

He dragged his finger in an 'x' over his heart, expression going comically solemn. Yeonjun was still wary, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. By all means, Beomgyu promising to leave it alone was a blessing.

"Thanks," Yeonjun said softly. "I'm gonna go put this stuff away and shower. We're on dinner duty tonight, so think about what you want and decide by the time I'm out."

"Can't we just order in?"

Yeonjun laughed, shaking his head.

"Think about it, Beomgyu!"

In the shower, Yeonjun was thinking about other things. He tried to keep it to just his costume plans at first, but as things do, it spiraled out of control before he even realized it, and suddenly he was thinking about Soobin. Not even in a lustful way, either, although it wasn't like there was a lack of things to lust over. He was just… thinking.

Yeonjun would know if Soobin liked him. Soobin did like him. They all liked each other. But it was different. Soobin didn't want Yeonjun.

Without meaning to, Yeonjun recalled a conversation from just earlier that month, when they'd all had drinks on Soobin's birthday and Soobin ended up just past tipsy on just half a bottle of strawberry soju. He'd looked cute, red in the face and slightly sweaty, his eyes glassy as he smiled at Yeonjun from the end of the sofa. Maybe Yeonjun was a little past tipsy too.

Somehow, the topic of relationships came up. Yeonjun had said he wasn't looking, which was the truth, and Soobin, very quietly and slightly slurred, had agreed, saying that it wasn't something he had time for. It was the most he had ever said about any of his relationships to Yeonjun. Perhaps to anyone.

Yeonjun knew he'd had them, but Soobin didn't seem willing to just hand over the details, and Yeonjun wasn't going to pry even if he wanted to. Soobin was too busy for a relationship. He wasn't looking. Yeonjun wasn't looking anywhere but directly at him.

Soobin didn't want him, Yeonjun reminded himself as he washed the day's sweat away. Or anyone, for that matter. Yeonjun could be a good friend and accept that without things going to shit. Taehyun was wrong, and as he dried himself off and dressed, Yeonjun decided that there was nothing anyone could do to convince him otherwise.

Nothing at all.

It wasn't the entire truth to say that Yeonjun didn't know when he'd first fallen for Soobin, but it sure made things simpler to put it that way. In actuality, he had fallen for Soobin about a hundred times for a hundred different things, and Yeonjun just didn't know where to start naming them all. Some of them he had probably already forgotten, but that didn't change the fact that it had happened.

The first time he thought, oh, shit, I'm in love with this guy was embarrassingly late in the game. Aside from Soobin, he was probably the last one to realize it. Everyone else had picked up on it already. Beomgyu had been on his case for what felt like months before Yeonjun realized that maybe his words really did have merit. Maybe it wasn't normal to gravitate toward one person this much. Maybe Soobin being the first person he sought out on any and every noteworthy occasion was a sign.

But the first time he'd actually fallen for Soobin was quite literal. It was the catastrophe of an event that had brought them as close as they were now. They'd been living together for maybe a couple weeks, and Soobin was just as busy then as he was now, if not more. Yeonjun hardly ever saw him, and hardly ever heard him. He worked odd hours, had a packed schedule of classes to attend and coursework to complete, and spent most of his free time asleep in his room. There were no opportunities to get close, and no opportunities for Yeonjun to fall for him until he came in through the front door and stepped on a stray sock that had somehow managed to end up outside one of their rooms.

Yeonjun didn't even know whose sock it was. It didn't seem to matter. He stepped on the sock and slipped at the same time that Soobin rushed around the corner into the entryway, presumably to get his shoes on and leave for—work? Class? Again, it wasn't important. The result was what mattered. Yeonjun fell forward and crashed into Soobin, who, completely unprepared, also fell. They landed on the floor in a sprawling mass of limbs and confusion, Soobin unintentionally breaking Yeonjun's landing.

There was nothing like an accident and a flurry of apologies to bring two people closer together. But before the apology, there was Soobin's face, mouth open in shock as he stared up at Yeonjun on top of him. Yeonjun stared at him for far too long before the spell broke, and then he swore.

"Shit, sorry!" He pushed himself up off of Soobin, hovering worriedly over him. "That was my fault, I'm so sorry, I slipped. Did you hit your head? Sorry—"

"You talk a lot," Soobin said, clearly dazed. He sat up too, albeit slower than Yeonjun had, and felt at the back of his head with his hand, wincing. "I'm fine. It happens. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings."

He had the nicest voice. Yeonjun had heard it before, but never like this, meant for Yeonjun and Yeonjun alone. He broke out of his daze to apologize again.

"Still, I'm sorry. Are you hurt anywhere?"

Soobin was still feeling at the back of his head. He dropped his hand and shrugged, his mouth turning up in an awkward smile.

"I'm fine," he said again. "I have a hard head. It didn't even leave a bump, seriously. You're good."

"Oh," Yeonjun said dumbly, eyes trained on Soobin's mouth. "That's… good."

In retrospect, he'd made a fool of himself, especially considering that Soobin had somewhere to be and ended up rushing off without many more words shared between them. Any time Yeonjun recalled it, he winced as though he'd been the one to hit his head. But it had been his in with Soobin more than anything else had. They all grew close as roommates over the time spent living together, but there was no one who made Yeonjun feel that same magnetic pull that he felt with Soobin. It was that pull that brought them back together over and over again, until Soobin had somehow wormed his way so close to Yeonjun that there was a space in his chest reserved just for him. He couldn't picture trying to cut it out or separate it from himself, so it just stayed there, warm and alive, pulsing like a second heart.

The holidays must really be getting to him, Yeonjun thought, if he was feeling this wistful, reminiscing while making alterations to the fleecy little vest he'd picked up while thrifting. He couldn't really help it. Christmas time was a state of mind, of being, and Soobin was present everywhere and in all of it without ever meaning to be. He was so absorbed in putting the last touches on the vest that he almost didn't hear the knock on his door.

"Yeonjun?"

If one thing was going to pull him out of his focus, it made sense that would be Soobin.

"Come in!" Yeonjun called. He didn't really care about keeping his costume secret. At least, not from Soobin. It was just payback with Beomgyu. "Door's unlocked."

He leaned back in his chair in a careless sprawl to watch the door creak open, legs spread slightly as he slouched. Soobin stood in the doorway like a tall, spindly deer in the headlights. He'd been the one to seek Yeonjun out, not the other way around, but for some reason he looked stricken at the sight of Yeonjun at his own desk, fabric strewn everywhere. It was enough that Yeonjun's eyebrows rose in surprise for just a second before knitting in concern.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, turning in his chair to give Soobin his full attention.

Soobin stared at him for a moment longer, eyes dropping from Yeonjun's face to the cut of the tank he was wearing, then shook his head like he was dislodging something from it, achingly similar to a dog shaking snow from its coat.

"Oh, uh, nothing," he said, stepping into Yeonjun's room. "I was just wondering if you had any laundry that needs doing. I'm running a load, but there's probably room for one more, if it's small…"

He trailed off as he caught sight of the mess on Yeonjun's desk.

"Is that your costume?" He asked softly. Yeonjun blinked, and suddenly Soobin was there beside him, bending down to inspect the antler headband poking out of one of his bags. A small but no less genuine smile tugged at Soobin's lips. "Are you going as a reindeer?"

Yeonjun reached out and swatted his curious hands away from the bag.

"Not just any reindeer," he said. "I'm going as Prancer. Don't get it twisted. And stop snooping—what if I had presents hidden in there?"

Soobin smiled down at him, amused.

"You're the one who let me in," he said. "Are there presents hidden in there?"

"No." When Soobin reached for the bag again, Yeonjun had to fend him off with the nearest nonlethal tool available—which just ended up being the bag itself. He wasn't about to go after Soobin with sewing scissors. "And don't bother asking where I've hidden them, either. It's secret. You'll have to wait until Christmas day to find out, just like everyone else."

"But I thought I was your favorite." Soobin's smile had widened into something insufferable, but he looked so happy that Yeonjun couldn't even feel bothered by it beyond being flustered.

"I don't have favorites."

"You definitely do."

"No, I hate you all exactly the same amount." He rose from his chair in search of the laundry Soobin had come looking for. There wasn't much of it, so he handed the hamper over to Soobin without a second thought. "There you go. Now get lost, you punk."

Soobin's grin softened.

"You didn't have to get me anything, you know," he said. "I'm sure that whatever it is, I'll like it."

"Don't say that yet," Yeonjun warned. "You haven't seen it. What if I got you something like pink hair dye?"

Soobin tilted his head slightly, clutching the hamper in his hands. "I'd find some way to make use of it."

Yeonjun's mind drifted to the thought of Soobin with pink hair. He could probably pull it off. He could probably pull anything off. He was Soobin.

"Get lost," he repeated, voice light, and flicked Soobin's nose. "I have work to do. Come get me when it's out of the dryer, okay?"

"Fine, fine."

Soobin slipped out of his room with his laundry in hand and one last backward peek over his shoulder at Yeonjun's desk. It was only after they'd folded and put away their respective piles of laundry, enduring Beomgyu's teasing accusations of domesticity all the while, followed by a round of bickering caused by Soobin throwing a pair of socks that hit him in the head rather than landing in his lap, that Yeonjun realized he didn't know what Soobin's costume was. When he asked, he received only a lopsided shrug of one of Soobin's hunched shoulders.

"I don't know," he said. "I haven't decided."

"Better decide quick." Yeonjun patted him on the shoulder, feeling the warmth of Soobin's skin seeping through the cotton of his t-shirt, lingering on Yeonjun's palm even after he'd pulled it away. "You only have a week."

It was a timeline Yeonjun was intimately aware of, a deadline imposed by Taehyun and enforced by Kai and Beomgyu's knowing stares whenever they caught him in a sappy, holiday-influenced state of daydreaming. Soobin had a week to come up with a costume, and Yeonjun had a week to confess. It made him nervous to think about, and weirdly enough, Soobin seemed nervous too. He went all fidgety, unable to meet Yeonjun's eyes.

"I'll probably just leave it up to Kai," he mumbled. "He'll have some good ideas."

Yeonjun frowned.

"I could help," he said.

"Ah, no, that's okay." Soobin's face was reddening. He rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand, then dropped it to his side, still refusing to look at Yeonjun. "I'll figure something out, really. It'll be a surprise."

"After you took a peek at my costume earlier?" Yeonjun asked, scandalized. "This is how you repay me? By keeping secrets?"

Soobin laughed, flustered.

"You're the one who didn't lay down terms and conditions," he said. "I didn't make any agreement for trading information."

Yeonjun shook his head in disappointment.

"See if I help you with dinner tonight," he said. "You're on your own for this one."

"I can cook," Soobin insisted, flushing further. "I don't need your help."

It was Yeonjun's turn to laugh.

Three days later, Taehyun cornered him in the entryway as Yeonjun was removing his shoes and coat.

"Taehyun," Yeonjun said warily.

"Yeonjun," Taehyun replied. His eyes were narrowed in a glare. Accusingly, he said, "You haven't confessed yet."

On impulse, Yeonjun's eyes darted to the shoe rack, where he found Soobin's shoes notably missing. Following his line of sight, Taehyun said, "He's working late."

Disappointment and relief muddled together to create one of the most confusing emotions Yeonjun had ever experienced.

"Is there a reason you're accosting me the second I come through the door?" Yeonjun asked tiredly, peeling his coat off before he could overheat.

"You haven't confessed," Taehyun repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. All he needed was a cardigan to fold over with the motion, and he'd look like a disappointed teacher, staring at Yeonjun like he was a particularly unruly child.

Yeonjun snorted.

"No, I haven't," he said. "And I'm not gonna. I told you I have it under control. We don't need to make a big thing out of it."

Taehyun looked spectacularly unimpressed, staring flatly in Yeonjun's direction as he stooped to undo the laces of his shoes. He'd just gotten one off and was working on the other when Taehyun sighed loudly. It irked Yeonjun, a spike of frustration piercing his chest, and he stood to full height, crossing his arms to match Taehyun, his shoe forgotten.

"Why do you care so much?" He asked, frustrated. Yeonjun had a lot of patience, but most of it had been used up at the studio, coaching the stubborn ten to twelves through a routine they knew, but almost definitely didn't care about, their thoughts occupied with Christmas. "People get over their crushes all the time and move on without ever saying anything. Why are you so convinced that this needs to be different?"

"Because you are different!" Taehyun exclaimed. Yeonjun stared at him, a little lost, and Taehyun sighed again, tension melting away from his posture as he let his arms drop to his sides. "Sure, other people might do that. But you don't. You're not that person. I know you, Yeonjun. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You're just kidding yourself when you say stuff like that."

Shame heated Yeonjun's cheeks. So he didn't have the best track record when it came to relationships. So he got in a little over his head a little too quickly a few too many times, and suffered for it. So what? He was determined that it wouldn't be the case this time. He was dedicated to keeping that from happening. Confessing wouldn't actually do anything but speed that trainwreck along.

He was tempted to give in to frustration and bite something out along those lines, but instead he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he opened them again, he saw Taehyun in a different light. The edge to his gaze was one of concern, not judgment. The slope of his slumped shoulders looked unsure, and not like it was because he was tired of Yeonjun's shit.

"You're really worried about this," Yeonjun said carefully.

"Yeah, well," Taehyun said. "You're kind of one of my best friends. I worry about you. I want you to be happy."

Yeonjun took a moment to pry his shoe off, tossing it next to the other and wiggling his toes in his socks. The frustration had receded into something else. He wasn't sure what it was, but even though he couldn't fully agree with Taehyun's methods, he was almost… grateful.

"I am happy," Yeonjun said quietly. "I can be happy without getting the guy. I can be happy being friends with everyone, and I can be friends with everyone, regardless of my feelings. I won't let it ruin anything, okay? So don't worry too much."

Regret passed over Taehyun's face. He looked like he was going to say something more, keep on going, maybe crack Yeonjun wide open and get the real truth out of him, but Yeonjun didn't let him.

"I'm sorry I got mad," he pressed on, setting his shoes on the rack, hip-checking Taehyun gently. "The meddling got to me a little bit, I guess. I appreciate that you care so much, but you really don't need to be worried. I have it handled."

"I don't mean to meddle, really," Taehyun said awkwardly. "I just… it's frustrating, sometimes, watching you. You have so much of yourself that you clearly want to give, but you won't let yourself do it. I got… carried away. Sorry."

"Apology accepted."

Yeonjun didn't like fighting. He was able to see the logic in Taehyun's intentions, but he also had insight that Taehyun didn't. Maybe something about his posture gave that away, because Taehyun stopped him with a hesitant hand on his arm as Yeonjun tried to pass him.

"Do you really think that Soobin doesn't feel the same way?" Taehyun asked.

The answer stuck in Yeonjun's throat like he'd swallowed it wrong.

"He's not looking for a relationship," he said gently. He couldn't stay mad at Taehyun for long, especially not when he was giving Yeonjun that kicked-cat look, drenched in concern for Yeonjun's wellbeing. It was sweet, and well-intentioned, and Yeonjun had to let it go eventually, so he sighed. "I know it might sound like that's just something I'm telling myself, but it's not. Soobin told me that. On his birthday, we stayed up drinking, got to talking, and…" Yeonjun shrugged. "He's probably got the right idea, honestly. Way too much shit going on in everyone's lives to balance a relationship on top of it."

Taehyun looked conflicted.

"Oh." He let go of Yeonjun's arm, and then just stood there looking horribly confused. For all of five seconds, Yeonjun wondered what Taehyun had thought he'd known to be so sure that confessing wouldn't also ruin things. "That… Well, okay."

"Okay?" Yeonjun asked, hopeful that this was the end of the conversation.

Taehyun nodded firmly.

"Okay," he said. "I'll leave it alone. Should take some things off of my plate now that I'm not planning on staging an intervention for you two."

"I thought this was the intervention," Yeonjun said dryly.

"Oh, no, I had way bigger plans than this." Jesus. Taehyun really was terrifying. It was a good thing he was also reasonable, and respectful of Yeonjun's requests to lay off a little. "But Yeonjun…"

He paused, looking deep in thought for a moment, then shook his head.

"I'll try not to meddle," he said. "I just want you to know that I don't think what Soobin said is entirely truthful."

"You think he was lying about not looking for a relationship?" Yeonjun asked, baffled.

"Maybe not lying," Taehyun said. "But the way you look at him… He looks at you the same way, that's all. Maybe you're the only one he's looking at. Maybe you're more alike than you think."

"That's a whole lot of maybes to risk a friendship for." Yeonjun considered it. He thought of a couple things, the stunned look on Soobin's face when Yeonjun toppled the both of them over so long ago, followed by the expression he wore in Yeonjun's room just earlier that week, the easy affection and domesticity that was mutual and not one-sided. Then he thought about Soobin's limbs sprawled loosely on top of him on the sofa, feet in Yeonjun's lap, temple pressed to the arm of the sofa, his tipsy confession that relationships just weren't on the menu for him, and everything else paled in comparison. But… "Hey. I have it handled, remember? I'll be fine."

Taehyun didn't look convinced, but he nodded.

"Sorry again," he said.

Yeonjun smiled.

"No harm done. Just chill out a little and we're good."

It was hard to stop thinking about it, though. If there was one thing that Taehyun was good at, it was making a maybe seem believable.

The last few days before the party passed in a rush.

Yeonjun was feeling the pressure. He blamed the countdown to the deadline Taehyun had given him, even though the threat of it wasn't hanging over his head anymore. His costume was complete, the finishing touches making it just perfect, and Yeonjun was proud of it. There was no class of ten to twelves for him to teach. It was much more likely that feeling pressured had to do with the task he'd been assigned to get done before the party that night. It had to be.

All December long, Yeonjun had been craving for something to do, but there was nothing relieving about being on grocery duty on Christmas Eve of all days out of the year. Beomgyu and Taehyun had been tasked with setting up the tree—a misshapen thing, because of course that was going to be the only option this late in the game—and making it look presentable. Kai was helping Soobin were doing… something. Yeonjun suspected it was that last minute costume set-up that Soobin had mentioned to him. It seemed like he really had put it all in Kai's hands. He wasn't sure what kind of costume took up so much time that Yeonjun had to go grocery shopping alone, though.

There was traffic in every single aisle of the store. They were out of pretty much everything. It was exactly what they should have expected, waiting this long to get things together. The lines for checkout were outrageously long, and after he had to barter away one of his two sparkling ciders to an unimpressed mother of two leash children in exchange for the last quart of eggnog in stock, Yeonjun decided he would much rather be doing nothing than this. It was like Black Friday, Christmas Eve edition. The others had better be happy with a wonky charcuterie board, because it was all Yeonjun had managed to scrounge up the ingredients for. At least no one could say he hadn't tried.

The house was in a similar state of chaos to the grocery store when he got back. The mess of pine needles still hadn't been swept up, and it trailed in all through the entryway and over the living room floor like the breadcrumbs from Hansel and Gretel, leading straight to where Taehyun and Beomgyu were arguing over tree decorations.

"Does it really matter where it goes?" Taehyun was saying. "They're all going to end up on the tree anyway."

"Yes, it matters," Beomgyu insisted. "You can't hang that ornament on that branch. It's too heavy; it'll make it bend weird. See?"

Neither of them noticed Yeonjun's return, as invested as they were in the nature of Christmas tree decor. He didn't have the heart to interrupt their spirited bickering, lest they try to get him to pick sides. Instead he unpacked the groceries, moving perishables into the fridge. He took a shower and pulled on some loungewear, deciding his costume could wait until later, and got started on food prep. By the time he had finished, the bickering in the living room had quieted, and there was still no sign of Kai or Soobin.

The house was suspiciously silent, which didn't bode well. Yeonjun only had Taehyun's word to rely on, and he wanted to believe it, but two weeks of expecting some kind of trap had admittedly made him rather paranoid. He was even dreaming about it. Clearly, the stress was getting to him.

Tonight was a chance to relax, though. Taehyun wasn't the type to go back on his word. If he said he'd leave shit alone, he left it alone. He was reliable like that. It was the others Yeonjun was worried about. They had made no such promises—at least not serious ones.

Yeonjun decided to channel his nervous energy into getting into costume. The vest was soft enough on the inside that it wouldn't irritate his skin, so he forewent an undershirt in favor of wearing it all by itself, arms out and the slightest hint of his chest on display. He'd had to adjust it to get it to fit the way he wanted, but he was satisfied with the result. Then came the pleather pants. Sexy was sexy, and nothing said sexy particularly like pants that clung like a second skin, even if they were a legitimate pain in the ass to get off. Yeonjun had committed to being a sexy Prancer, and so a sexy Prancer he would be.

The final touch before make up was the antlers. They were admittedly pretty basic, but Yeonjun had embellished them with bells that jingled every time they moved. Attention-catching, and also annoying. He'd probably end up ditching them before the night was through. Putting them on messed with his styled hair, and he spent precious minutes getting it to fall exactly the way he wanted it before he was satisfied.

When he was finished, it still felt like he had far too much time on his hands and nothing to do with it. Anxiety strung his nerves tight, but he forced himself out of his room and back into the kitchen to make sure Beomgyu wasn't poaching the snacks. Sure enough, there he was, dressed as one of Santa's elves in red and green, with an ugly sweater in the same colors to match.

"Hey!" Yeonjun barked, pointing at him. Beomgyu, unbothered, finished eating his snack and flipped him off for good measure. "Those are for the party. Can't you wait just a little longer?"

"No," Beomgyu said. "I'm hungry now."

Yeonjun scooped the platter up into his hands and away from Beomgyu with a scowl. Beomgyu followed him to the living room, snatching another cracker before Yeonjun managed to swat him away.

"Don't get crumbs everywhere," Yeonjun said. Taehyun was in the living room still, but he hadn't dressed up, instead just in the plain casual wear he'd been in when Yeonjun got home with the groceries. "And stop poaching—do you know what I had to go through to get these?"

"Of course," Beomgyu said, nodding solemnly. "You went through the nine circles of hell to bring us back salami and cheese. I'm just making sure your efforts go appreciated."

It was a lost cause. At least the tree looked good, Yeonjun thought, eyeing it critically. Or, well, it looked better than it had when they hauled it home, and the trail of pine needles was gone. That was a definite plus. He was just starting to really admire it, tuning out the sound of Beomgyu eating crackers off of the platter, when Kai showed up in a Santa hat. It wasn't just the hat, either. He was dressed in full Santa regalia, minus the beard. Even his hair was Jack Frost white.

"Whoa," Yeonjun said, impressed. "You really committed."

"You have no idea," Kai replied. He brightened up at the sight of the tree and food. "You guys did great. Did you manage to get eggnog?"

"By the skin of my teeth," Yeonjun said. "And one bottle of sparkling cider. It's in the fridge still, though."

"I'll get it," Taehyun said. He rose from the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen.

"You got the tree looking really nice, too," Kai said.

Beomgyu practically preened, but the effect was almost entirely nullified by the cracker-cheese-salami sandwich in his mouth. Some of Yeonjun's nerves were dissipating already. They came right back around, though, when he noticed there was still no sign of Soobin. Not even a peep.

"But what's a Christmas tree without a tree topper?" Kai said slyly. Yeonjun had no clue. He also didn't care. He was much more interested in what was taking Soobin so long to join them. "Soobin! Get out here."

Yeonjun perked up, peering curiously around Kai like it would speed things along. How did tree toppers correlate to Soobin at all? What a weird choice for a segue. And then Soobin stepped into the room, and all thoughts fell right out of Yeonjun's head. God damn. His mouth fell open, but Yeonjun couldn't make a sound, dumbstruck.

Soobin was blond.

Not just blond, but dressed completely in white—a white blazer with a deep v-cut, a sheer undershirt beneath it, and white slacks. There were massive, feathery wings strapped to his back over his shoulders and a tinsel-y silver halo hovering over his head, attached to a headband. He was scowling and fussing with it where he stood.

"I'm going to be picking tinsel out of my hair for days," he complained, but Yeonjun barely heard it.

Any second now, Soobin was going to look at him and say some shit like be not afraid and Yeonjun was going to have to disappoint him, because he was frozen solid in near terror at just how good Soobin looked.

"Holy shit," Beomgyu said. Holy was right. Yeonjun was having a religious experience just by being in Soobin's presence. Turning to Kai, Beomgyu asked, "How did you get him to agree to this?"

"I didn't agree to anything," Soobin said darkly. "I've been blackmailed. Don't be fooled by his little act. Kai is pure evil."

Kai smiled, serene, the picture of innocence. "Come on, Soobin, it's not that bad. You asked me to help you! That's what I did!"

"Tell that to my scalp," Soobin scowled. "After you apologize to it."

"It looks good, though," Taehyun said. "Can you give me your stylist's number?"

"You have it already," Soobin said. He looked like he was close to combusting under all the attention. The white outfit and blond hair only made his skin look a more violent shade of red. Jerking his thumb in Kai's direction, he said, "Kai did it. Now can you all please stop staring at me?"

Everyone else moved on, gathering around the snacks and charcuterie board, but Yeonjun stayed stuck and staring. Suddenly, he felt tacky and underdressed in his fleecy little vest, despite how proud he had been of his costume. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Soobin's chest beneath the undershirt he was wearing. Yeonjun couldn't see much, but knowing it was there was enough to give him heart palpitations. It was almost worse than if Soobin had been shirtless.

"Yeonjun," Soobin said, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Quit it. Go ogle the cheese board or something instead. You're making my skin crawl."

"Did it hurt?" Yeonjun blurted.

Soobin's whole face scrunched up in offense.

"Don't," he said. "If you start dropping corny lines right now, I'll leave."

"No, I meant—" Yeonjun laughed nervously, wiping his clammy palms on his pants. "The bleach. Did bleaching your hair hurt? You said something about your scalp, so, you know, I was just wondering…"

Soobin stared at him like he was crazy, which Yeonjun maybe was. He felt like he was losing his grip on reality, as well as control over his mouth.

"You've bleached your hair before," Soobin said.

"Well," Yeonjun said. "Yeah."

Soobin tilted his head, squinting until Yeonjun felt like he might burst into flames beneath the scrutiny. Then he shook it off, laughing in exasperation.

"You're so weird," he said. "Come on. I want a glass of eggnog before it's all gone."

And that was that. Yeonjun tailed him awkwardly to the snack table. He made what was probably a horrible attempt at small talk with Taehyun, then stuffed his mouth with crackers so he'd stop putting his foot in it.

Kai looked at him with a gleam in his eye, and eventually Yeonjun had enough of the smug look on his face and tugged him aside.

"I thought you said it wasn't you I needed to worry about," he hissed under his breath. "What the hell is this?"

"What the hell is what?" Kai asked, smiling.

"Don't play dumb with me right now. Why does he look like that?"

"Oh, that." Kai reached up to adjust his hat, flicking the tail of it pointedly. The pompom at the end bobbled. "I'm Santa. This is my gift to you. Merry Christmas and you're welcome, and all that. You can totally thank me later."

"Kai," Yeonjun said in warning.

He didn't know what to say. Mostly he was thinking how could you do this to me, but all the rest of his brain space was taken up by Soobin Soobin Soobin, so it wasn't at all surprising that Kai managed to make a quick escape before Yeonjun could stop him. It was fine. Yeonjun could handle this. He'd spent months hiding the crush he had on Soobin. Surely, surely an angel costume and blond hair wasn't enough to ruin all his efforts. He could keep it together for one night.

So he listened to Beomgyu complain about how the texture of eggnog was just awful, let Taehyun be egregiously unfestive next to him in his muscle tee and cargo shorts without poking any fun at him, and watched the fluffy pompom at the end of Kai's Santa hat bounce all over the place just so he wouldn't be tempted to watch Soobin.

For what it was worth, he was doing a horrible job of resisting temptation. His eyes kept straying to Soobin's chest, then to his hair, then to his lips when he spoke. He nearly missed it when Kai tackled Taehyun to tie a red ribbon around one of his biceps because he was so distracted, glared enviously when everyone gathered to run their fingers through the feathers of Soobin's wings, and he was so afraid of being tongue-tied when he spoke that he kept unnaturally quiet. He caught Soobin glancing at him curiously as the night progressed, and when he finally sidled up to Yeonjun, Yeonjun knew it was over.

"Hey," Soobin said quietly, a wrinkle between his brows. He'd taken the angel wings off, claiming that they were too heavy. They were propped up against the wall, pristine white. Yeonjun thought he was prepared for everything Soobin could throw his way, but he wasn't expecting Soobin's follow-up question to be "Are you okay?"

"What?" Yeonjun blurted, too loudly. "I—am I what?"

"Okay," Soobin repeated slowly. He hesitated, then crossed his arms over his chest, hiding it from Yeonjun's eyes. "You've been off all night."

"Off?" Yeonjun asked, laughing nervously. He didn't know what to do with his hands. They flitted restlessly about before settling at his sides, fingers curling into his pants. "What do you mean, off? I'm—this is normal for me."

"You look like you're overheating." Soobin said. "Do you need some fresh air? I can go with you."

Being alone with Soobin sounded like the worst thing possible right now. How was Yeonjun meant to keep it together when it was just the two of them? And yet… Yeonjun actually could use some fresh air. He felt like he was suffocating. Being trapped inside with Soobin when he looked so delectable elicited a reaction similar to claustrophobia. Taking things outdoors might make it easier.

"That sounds good, actually," Yeonjun admitted. It sounded perfect, just the escape he needed. A thought came to mind suddenly, and he added, "Just let me grab something from my room first. I'll meet you out there."

"Okay," Soobin agreed. He still looked worried, but he let Yeonjun go easily enough.

Yeonjun ditched the antler headband in his room, trading it out for the small, wrapped box he'd hidden in his closet all the way back at the beginning of December. He'd bought it at the same time that he bought Soobin's birthday gift, and it had taken a hefty chunk out of his savings. It felt heavier than it should in his hands, and Yeonjun pretended that was the reason why.

He'd told Soobin he'd get the present on Christmas day, but Yeonjun couldn't imagine a worse fate than having Soobin open it in front of everyone. His heart was racing just thinking about it. There was no better moment than now, no matter what reaction Soobin gave him. Before he could change his mind, Yeonjun tucked the gift into his pocket, slipping out of his room and past where Beomgyu was trying fruitlessly to wrestle Taehyun into his elf hat. Kai caught his eye on the way out and smiled, but said nothing. Yeonjun was able to slip on some shoes and escape out the front door unnoticed. Soobin was there on the steps, waiting for him beneath the overhang, his halo headband still perfectly in place. He turned at the sound of the door shutting, then balked.

"When you said you had to grab something, I thought you meant a jacket," he sputtered. "Yeonjun. It's freezing out here, are you crazy?"

"Maybe a little." He really wasn't thinking about the cold right now. It was actually the perfect shock his system needed, startling him out of his nerves before he could work himself up too much. "C'mon, let's sit."

Except that there was nowhere to sit, really, except on the steps, and they jutted out a little further than the overhang offered shelter. Soft, wet snow fell around them in blurry flakes, landing an icy chill over Yeonjun's bare arms and settling in his hair. Soobin eyed him with fresh concern.

"What's all this about?" He asked, voice soft, like he thought he might scare Yeonjun off otherwise. It fit the angel getup pretty well, Yeonjun thought.

"Nothing," Yeonjun said. He reached into his pocket, fingers against the smooth, reindeer-print wrapping paper he'd picked for it. It was cool to the touch. "Just… got a little overwhelmed, I guess."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Yeonjun exhaled shakily. "But also, I have something for you."

He slid the gift out of his pocket, holding it out for Soobin to take. Soobin took it from him. His eyes flicked between the wrapping paper and the top of Yeonjun's head.

"You're not Prancer anymore," he said.

"Nope," Yeonjun agreed. "Just regular ol' Yeonjun. Open it quick, before we freeze solid."

"Thought you said I had to wait like everyone else," Soobin said, beginning to unwrap the present. The reindeer-print wrapping paper gave way to a little box beneath it. Without any further sniping, Soobin popped the lid off. "What…"

Yeonjun almost couldn't stand to look at him, but he had to.

"Yeah, well, you were right," Yeonjun confessed shakily, as Soobin stared down at his present with wide, liquid eyes. "You kind of are my favorite."

Months of keeping it to himself, and one angel costume had sent him over the edge. Soobin looked up at him, then back down at the box. Nestled inside was the Cartier bracelet Yeonjun had picked out, a thin, simple chain in white gold. It was half the reason he'd been trying to pick up extra classes at the studio.

"Yeonjun," Soobin breathed. "This looks expensive."

Yeonjun just shrugged, his insides twisting up into a complicated knot, heart so far up his throat that it felt like it was lodged in the very back of his mouth. Soobin's curious eyes landed on him again, as though waiting for an explanation, but Yeonjun just… didn't have one. There were a lot of things he could say, in theory, but words were failing him spectacularly.

"Even my exes never gave me anything like this," Soobin said softly, gaze inquisitive. "Not even for anniversaries."

Yeonjun's stomach did a violent flip. He twisted his hands together in his lap. It probably said more about what type of people Soobin had been with than anything, but Yeonjun's nerves were still a wreck. He felt exposed, like all his feelings were out on display for Soobin to see. Maybe he really did wear his heart on his sleeve, and maybe Soobin was looking at it right now.

"Like I said," he said. "You're my favorite. I wanted to get you something to show you how much I appreciate it. You. Us."

Soobin's mouth opened like he was going to say something, but nothing came out but air, fogging when it met the outdoor chill. His eyes dropped back down to the bracelet. He didn't make a move to touch it. Doubt rose up in Yeonjun's throat and spilled out in a rambling explanation.

"I know you don't wear a lot of accessories," he said. "I just saw it and it was pretty, and I thought—I don't know. You deserved it." He swallowed, finishing off lamely. "You deserve something nice."

"This is a little more than just nice," Soobin said, an edge of panic in his voice. "I didn't get you something valuable at all."

"That's fine." Yeonjun waved him off. Taking a page right out of Soobin's book, he said, "Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll like it."

He expected Soobin to laugh, or to maybe shoot him an exasperated glare, but all that met him was that same stunned silence. Feeling the nervous urge to fill it, he said, "Hey. It's not a big deal. I can return it if you don't like it, or if it's too much. And if it's something else…" Like Soobin's exes. That was the most he'd ever told Yeonjun about his experiences with dating, and he seemed pretty hung up on it. "Look, if your exes couldn't spend the time and money to make you feel appreciated, maybe they needed to get their priorities straight. That's on them, not you."

Soobin's mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile. It fell short, but it was still something.

"You don't have to return it," Soobin said, voice a little rough. He cleared his throat and reached for the bracelet, finally taking it out of the box. "It's really nice, Yeonjun. Thank you."

He held it out to Yeonjun wordlessly for a few long seconds before Yeonjun realized what he wanted.

"Oh!" He lurched toward Soobin, taking the bracelet from him, and Soobin held out his wrist so Yeonjun could put it on him.

They were both trembling. Soobin was probably cold, and Yeonjun definitely was, with his arms totally bare, but Yeonjun was also nervous. His fingers kept brushing up against the skin of Soobin's wrist, and he swore he could feel Soobin's pulse racing beneath it. It took a few tries before he managed to latch the bracelet properly, but he managed.

"Thanks," Soobin said again, when he finished. "Really, thank you. I like it a lot."

"Of course," Yeonjun replied, because he couldn't say I think I'm in love with you, but he didn't know what else there was to say.

Some mistletoe really would come in handy right now. Where was Beomgyu when he was needed? On some level, Yeonjun knew that it would take more than a Christmas miracle, more than Santa Kai and his little helpers for this to work out. He just wasn't sure he had what it took to define what this was, or to attempt to change it into something more.

"We should go inside," Soobin said quietly, pulling him out of his thoughts. "You look like you're freezing."

"I kind of am," Yeonjun admitted. It was so cold his teeth were starting to chatter, but he didn't really want to go back in yet. He wasn't willing to disturb this moment, to press play on the party and go back to something that wasn't just him and Soobin. "Soobin. I—"

"You know—"

They both froze, and then Soobin laughed.

"You can go first," he said, right as Yeonjun said, "What were you saying?"

It was a mess. Nothing about them had ever been anything else. It was always going to be messy, and maybe Taehyun was right when he said that Yeonjun was kidding himself by pretending that avoiding it all wouldn't end in pieces.

Luckily, Soobin recovered quicker than Yeonjun did, and decided to take initiative.

"I was just going to say that…" He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist, running his fingertips over the delicate chain. "You know that I appreciate you too, right? This. Us. It means a lot to me too."

"I know," Yeonjun said quietly. Something that felt painfully like hope throbbed to life in his chest, heart skipping a beat.

"Well, probably more than you know." Soobin inhaled, seemed to hold it, and then rushed out, "I just really like this. What we have. And I don't want to ruin it, but I also really like you, and Kai will probably kick my ass if I don't say it after you did something like this for me, so—"

It was so fast and so scrambled that Yeonjun struggled to process any of it. When he finally did, his mouth dropped open.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Soobin's ears were red—from embarrassment or the chill, Yeonjun couldn't tell.

"I really like you," he repeated. "Like. A lot. More than just as a friend. Shit, why am I so bad at this?"

He was saying things that Yeonjun had only ever dreamed of hearing him say. Never in reality did he ever think those words would come out of Soobin's mouth.

"But you said you weren't looking for a relationship," he blurted before he could stop himself.

Soobin looked up, eyes wide.

"Because you said it first!" He said. "I wasn't going to be the guy who couldn't take a hint and made things weird."

When Yeonjun thought about it like that, it made sense.

Maybe you're more alike than you think, Taehyun had said, and he was right. When all this was done and over with, Yeonjun would never hear the end of it.

"I only said that because I panicked," Yeonjun said. "I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone but you."

And then it all spilled out without thinking.

"The guys have been trying to get me to tell you for weeks," he confessed. "Taehyun was this close to doing something drastic, but I told him to lay off, 'cause I didn't want to ruin things either, and I was pretty sure it would."

Soobin looked stunned, if only for a moment, before he burst out laughing. He dragged his hands over his face, then up through his freshly bleached hair, knocking his halo askew with the movement.

"God, we're stupid," he said. "You know they've been harassing me too, right? And I kept complaining, because I thought I was the only one they were harassing. Kai even looped me into this whole stupid costume experience because he thought you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off of me. If I didn't agree to it, he was just going to tell you how I felt on my behalf. Obviously, I couldn't let that happen."

It was exactly then that Yeonjun realized they'd both been played. Expertly, at that.

"Was Beomgyu staging weekly interventions for you?" He asked suspiciously. When Soobin nodded, he let out a groan. "No wonder he said I wouldn't have to hear it from him."

"You're lucky," Soobin said. "He got kind of scary about it. I kept looking up every time I went through a door, thinking he'd have hidden mistletoe around. I think I have a permanent crick in my neck now."

"That's just your horrible posture talking."

"Shut up," Soobin laughed. "I can't believe this. Why are our roommates freaks?"

"I thought Taehyun was going to lock us in a closet until I fessed up," Yeonjun said. "And they'd all be in on it, too. I knew they were up to no good."

His teeth really were chattering now, enough that it was starting to affect his speech. Soobin's eyes softened, and he got to his feet, extending a hand to help Yeonjun up.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go inside and warm up."

Yeonjun could think of a few ways to warm up. His brain was freshly scrambled, courtesy of the cold and the revelation and Soobin's costume. His mouth moved before he could think.

"Kai was right, by the way," he said. "You have no idea how insane your costume made me. I thought I was going to die."

Soobin's cheeks were already rosy, and Yeonjun couldn't really tell if he started blushing, but he thought he might, based on the way Soobin's eyes blew wide open.

"And the hair," Yeonjun said, unable to shut up. "Holy shit. I think it changed my brain chemistry. I wanted to kiss you so bad, it was driving me insane."

"Are you drunk?" Soobin asked, clearly flustered. He opened the door and tugged Yeonjun inside. He answered his own question before Yeonjun could. "No, you didn't drink anything. God, you're freezing. It was way too cold to be out there in just your vest."

Speaking of his vest…

"Did you like it?" Yeonjun asked boldly. "My costume? Was sexy Prancer sexy enough?"

"Yeonjun."

"Aww, come on." Yeonjun kicked his shoes off. His hands were beginning to warm back up just from coming inside, pins and needles in his fingertips. The snow in his hair melted fast, leaving it slightly damp. Soobin was staring at him with fond exasperation. Yeonjun put his hands on his hips and said, "Tell me what you thought of it."

"The truth?"

Yeonjun nodded.

"Okay," Soobin sighed, put upon. "The truth is, I know you put a lot of effort into it, but I really couldn't think about anything other than your arms."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Yeonjun blinked. The urge to kiss Soobin came back so strong that he didn't know what to do with himself. He channeled the last of his sanity into just saying it outright.

"I still want to kiss you. Can I?"

"Right now?" Soobin asked. He must have found whatever answer he was looking for in Yeonjun's face, because he followed up with an immediate and breathless, "Yeah, okay. Go for it."

So Yeonjun went for it.

It wasn't lost on him, when he pressed Soobin up against the coat closet doors to kiss him, hands reaching up to tangle into his pale blond hair, that this was exactly the place that he'd slipped and fallen back then, bringing both him and Soobin to the floor. This was the place that brought them closer together. It was certainly bringing them closer together now. Still, Yeonjun didn't have it in himself to be careful. Not when he'd been waiting for this for so long, convinced he wouldn't get to have it.

He kissed Soobin ravenously, and Soobin kissed him back, his hands settling on Yeonjun's hips, edging beneath his vest, fingertips cold enough that Yeonjun hissed against his mouth, then laughed. It wasn't enough to get him to stop. He didn't think anything would, too enamored by the press of Soobin's lips against his, Soobin's mouth opening up for him at a light dig of Yeonjun's front teeth, Soobin's hands fitting perfectly on his waist, one dragging up his back, warming him up from his core outward—until the sound of a throat clearing brought him back to the present.

Yeonjun startled back so suddenly that he very nearly caused another entryway accident, but this time Soobin caught him before he could. Soobin's hair was in a state of complete disarray. The halo headband had been knocked almost entirely off his head by Yeonjun's eager hands, and his lips were pink and shining with what must have been spit. Something curled in Yeonjun's gut at the sight, deliriously pleased, before he remembered that they had been interrupted and probably shouldn't get right back to making out without addressing that first.

"Not that the three of us aren't leaping for joy at this turn of events and all," Beomgyu said, flanked on both sides by Taehyun and Kai, a ridiculous grin on his face and a garland of tinsel slung over his shoulders. Kai's Santa hat had somehow ended up on his head, and likewise, Beomgyu's elf hat had made the rounds until Kai was wearing it. The ribbon was still tied around Taehyun's bicep. "But could you not get your freak on where we can see it? Take it to the bedroom or keep it PG."

Yeonjun flushed hotly. He opened his mouth to stammer out an excuse, but then Soobin's hand closed around his wrist and tugged. Yeonjun stumbled after him in a daze, passing Beomgyu and the others quickly, but not quickly enough to miss the way Beomgyu laughed brightly and Taehyun's face screwed up in mild disgust. He couldn't do more than let out a flustered laugh as Soobin led him to the nearest bedroom, which just so happened to be Yeonjun's.

No sooner had the door shut behind them and the light been flicked on than Yeonjun was spinning around to kiss Soobin, right up against the door again. Soobin let him for a few long, glorious seconds before he planted a steady hand against Yeonjun's chest, separating them gently.

"What?" Yeonjun asked, giddy and breathless. "What is it?"

"I don't want you to feel pressured," Soobin said. "I wanted to keep kissing you without them staring at us and judging. That's all."

Yeonjun couldn't help the smile that took over his face. He was sufficiently warmed up now. He had no doubt that if he wanted to stop and settle down, Soobin wouldn't complain about it. But Yeonjun didn't want to stop. He wanted to do what he'd been thinking of all night, from the second he saw Soobin in that scandalously cut blazer.

"We can keep kissing," Yeonjun said. "Or…"

He reached up to fix Soobin's lopsided halo, then thought better of it and decided to remove it entirely.

"Or?" Soobin asked, slightly strained. He was gripping onto Yeonjun's damp fleece vest like a lifeline.

"Or," Yeonjun repeated. He ran a hand down the back of Soobin's neck, then cupped his jaw. "We could do more, if you want. I could show you what I thought of doing earlier. I could worship you like an angel deserves."

Soobin snorted suddenly, and Yeonjun frowned, the mood broken.

"Sorry," Soobin said, trying to stifle his laughter and failing. He bit down on his lip, but it couldn't hide the obvious mirth in his voice. "Just—I'm pretty sure it's not angels that are meant to be worshiped, that's all."

"Well, maybe not." Yeonjun brushed his thumb over the smooth curve of Soobin's cheek. From this close, he could see all the tiny imperfections—not that there were many, but they were there. A faded smatter of acne scars invisible to those who didn't know any better. The faint beauty marks on Soobin's face, close to his nose, that Yeonjun would argue worked toward perfection instead of against it. "But you are. Don't you think so?"

Soobin inhaled, and it would have been inaudible were it not for their proximity. Yeonjun could hear the way it caught in his throat, felt Soobin swallow it down where his fingers brushed the underside of his jaw.

"Sounds a little bit like idolatry to me," Soobin said, hushed.

"Shut up and let me kiss you."

Soobin did. He went silent and let Yeonjun tug him down into another kiss, wet and messy. He let Yeonjun do a lot of things, really, with next to no complaint at all. If Yeonjun bit his lip too hard, he made a little sound that wasn't quite protest, and his hands grabbed onto Yeonjun tighter, pulled him closer in a way that made Yeonjun feel too big for his own body, straining to escape from his own skin. If Yeonjun feathered his hands along Soobin's sides, if he got a little brave and groped Soobin's perfect ass through those white slacks, it earned him a sweeter sound of encouragement and Soobin's hands in his hair. He let Yeonjun do whatever he wanted and seemed receptive to it, seemed like he wanted it, but Yeonjun wanted to hear it from him. He needed to hear it from Soobin, had needed it for weeks, months, for what felt like forever.

"So does that sound good to you?" He asked, pulling back just enough that his words weren't obstructed by the press of their lips together or Soobin's tongue in his mouth. Soobin chased after him, dazed, and Yeonjun evaded him with a giggle.

"What?" Soobin asked dumbly. "Oh. Yeah, that's okay."

Yeonjun flashed him a bright grin and kissed him again. His hands found the buttons down the front of Soobin's blazer and began undoing them clumsily, fingers still slightly tingly. He pushed it off Soobin's shoulders, and Soobin pulled back to get it the rest of the way off until it dropped into a heap of pure white on the floor.

"Wow," Yeonjun said hoarsely.

The sheer undershirt was more translucent than he'd thought. It did almost nothing to conceal the way Soobin's chest heaved beneath it. It didn't conceal much at all, Yeonjun mused to himself, palm smoothing over one of Soobin's pecs. Soobin welcomed it with a shuddering sigh, practically melting back against the door. His head tipped back, and Yeonjun couldn't help but kiss him there, too, wet and biting. Soobin seemed to like it, if the way he dragged Yeonjun closer said anything. Their hips aligned, and on the next dig of his teeth into the sensitive patch of skin beneath Soobin's jaw, Soobin rocked into him, pressure and friction that Yeonjun hadn't even known he needed until it happened. He groaned against Soobin's throat, sucking the skin into his mouth until it was sure to bloom red and pretty and bruised.

"Fuck," Soobin said, a low rasp that went straight to Yeonjun's dick.

He pulled his mouth away from Soobin's throat for just long enough to say, "Bed," and Soobin murmured a breathless agreement. They fumbled their way there, Soobin's sheer shirt coming off halfway between the door and the bed. Yeonjun lost his vest, too. He somehow managed to mark up Soobin's throat more in the process, though he couldn't say exactly how or when. It was all a blur of skin and heat and Soobin to Yeonjun, right up until he had Soobin sprawled shirtless and wide-eyed and hard in those frankly criminal white slacks beneath him on the mattress. They looked like sin on him, but Yeonjun would prefer them off.

"Yeonjun," Soobin said. Yeonjun just hummed, listening but intently focused on working Soobin's slacks down over his thighs. "Jun."

Yeonjun finally tore his attention away from Soobin's dick for long enough to meet his gaze.

"Yeah?" He asked. Soobin was staring up at him, hair a mess, red marks scattered all the way down his neck, as low as his collarbone. He looked gorgeous. Yeonjun was almost tempted to start biting him again, mark up every inch of skin until it had Yeonjun written all over it. But he could be patient. "What is it?"

"I don't know what you want," Soobin said. He propped himself up on his elbows, staring down the length of his own body at where Yeonjun was kneeling between his thighs.

"Well, right now I want to get your pants off," Yeonjun said, giving a pointed tug at Soobin's slacks. "They're kind of in the way."

"Sure," Soobin huffed. "But after?"

There were a lot of things Yeonjun wanted to do after; from the obvious worshiping he said he would, and then a long list after that. But there was one thing that just wouldn't leave his head. He couldn't stop thinking about it. He really just couldn't stop thinking about getting his mouth on every part of Soobin he possibly could.

"After, I was thinking about having this—" He pressed a hand down over the curve of Soobin's dick through his briefs, rubbed over it to hear the way Soobin sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth. "—in my mouth. Thoughts?"

"I think you're an ass," Soobin said with an exasperated eyeroll. "That sounds fine to me, but what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do I get to return the favor?" Soobin asked. "Because I don't want the focus to just be on me. That feels unbalanced. Also, I kind of really want to blow you."

Yeonjun grinned. He finally got the slacks off, and the briefs followed them, leaving Soobin entirely bare before he ever answered.

"Kind of or really?" He asked. "Which is it?"

Soobin collapsed back against the pillows with an irritated huff. His face was flushed, and the color crept all the way down to his chest. Yeonjun wanted to put his mouth there, too.

"You're so red," Yeonjun said gleefully. In response, Soobin threw his arm over his red face and groaned.

"Because you're frustrating, Yeonjun," he lamented.

"You love it," Yeonjun said. "Soobin. Say it."

"No way in hell."

"Soobinnnnn," Yeonjun pressed. "You know you do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

"I can't believe I like you," Soobin said under his breath. He lifted his arm, his face flaming. "I guess I don't mind it."

"Grouch."

"Yeonjun."

"Grinch. It's Christmas Eve! We confessed, lighten up a little. Where's your festive spirit?"

"Left it outside with my dignity," Soobin said.

Yeonjun huffed.

"Stop being such a Scrooge," he said. "Aren't you happy? I am."

Soobin's eyes rolled up to glare at the ceiling. His skin was so red it was almost comparable to the deep vermilion of Kai's Santa hat, his lips pressed tightly together in refusal.

"I'm not used to this," Soobin admitted then. "You make me feel fucking ridiculous, like I'm in high school again with a stupid crush. I mean, it's great, and God, I like you so much. I like that you're ridiculous, but Yeonjun, I also really don't know how to handle it. How to act around you. You're the first person who's ever..."

Impossibly, as he trailed off, he grew only redder. Soobin shut his eyes, exhaling heavily.

"You give this out so freely, I don't know how to take it."

Well. Now Yeonjun was the one blushing. He didn't know how to take it, either. He coped with humor.

"Do I give you butterflies in your tummy, Soobin?"

Soobin knocked him in the side with one of his knees.

"Shut up," he snorted, laughing. "That sounds so lame."

"It's true though, isn't it?"

Finally, Soobin met his eyes. He didn't look so annoyed anymore, although he was still flushed and a little sweaty.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Yeonjun. Even if I'm bad at handling it, I still like it. I like you a lot, you know?"

It was freezing cold outside, but Yeonjun was burning up here, in his room with Soobin under him.

"You're in love with me, you mean," he blurted, trying to sound confident. He failed—his voice cracked, squeaky like a mouse. For a second, he thought Soobin might deny it. It was an impulse to tease, and it was Soobin's knee-jerk reaction to evade him. But then—

"Yeah," Soobin murmured. "A little bit, yeah."

Yeonjun's heart leapt into his throat. His palms grew clammy where they gripped Soobin's hips. There it was. Soobin had said it. But Yeonjun couldn't help but prod more, helpless to his own greed.

"Just a little bit?"

Soobin nudged him with his knee again.

"Don't push it," he said. "I'm not a jump in headfirst guy like you are. I like to take things slow."

Yeonjun burst into giggles.

"Sorry," he said when Soobin glared at him. "I just can't really take you seriously when you say that while I have you, you know, naked in my bed."

"Emotional things," Soobin amended, his face red. "I'm not saying we can't fuck."

"But you feel it, right?" Yeonjun asked. His voice softened. It felt more vulnerable than he meant it to.

"Of course I do," Soobin said. He hesitated, then echoed Yeonjun's earlier words. "We wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Then does that mean you'll let me pick up where I left off?"

Soobin covered his face with his arm again. His big ears stuck out like a red, sore thumb from the sides of his blond head. Cute.

"Go for it," Soobin said.

It was clear that Soobin meant it when he said he wasn't used to this kind of attention. Hell, it had been clear from the way he reacted to Yeonjun's gift. But it was especially obvious from the way he squirmed when Yeonjun folded down to kiss his collarbones, lips just barely brushing the skin.

"Ticklish?" Yeonjun asked, smiling against Soobin's chest.

"Not telling," Soobin retorted. "You'll just use it against me if I do."

That was as good as an admission in Yeonjun's book. He decided not to push, instead dedicating his focus to worshiping Soobin exactly as he had intended when he first saw him that night, looking like he had descended from some kind of heavenly kingdom or come alive from one of those renaissance paintings of archangels. Soobin, he learned, wasn't just ticklish. He was sensitive. Yeonjun came to this conclusion during his long, drawn out exploration when he flicked his thumb curiously over the peak of one of Soobin's nipples, and Soobin's breath hitched sharply, back curving as his chest chased the touch.

"Shut up," he said, when Yeonjun turned a delighted grin on him.

Beyond that, he didn't protest. Yeonjun's eyes caught on Soobin's teeth where they sank into his lower lip, the flutter of his eyelashes that he tried to disguise as a blink. There was no hiding the effect Yeonjun was having on him, and that made Yeonjun feel good, his chest swelling with pride. He gave in to the urge to bite Soobin more, peppered marks down his torso, even managed to seal his mouth around the nipple he'd been playing with before Soobin hissed, hands snapping to Yeonjun's hair and grabbing in two tight, painful handfuls.

"Too much?" Yeonjun mumbled curiously into his skin.

"Swear to God, if you don't stop fucking around—"

"I'm just doing what I said I would." Yeonjun scraped his teeth gently over the nub and was rewarded with an upward jerk of Soobin's hips.

"Annoying," Soobin bit out. Yeonjun could bite too, so he did. "Fuck!"

The grip on Yeonjun's hair tightened, and moments later Soobin was tugging him up and away from his chest. It was clear he was trying to look a certain amount of disgruntled, but the heavy flush on his cheeks and his half-open mouth were doing him no favors. He looked fucked out. A pulse of want forced a breathy sound from Yeonjun's throat. He ached to press a hand against his dick, give it some much needed attention, but the task at hand required all of his focus.

"Hey," he said. "I wasn't done with that."

Soobin's face twisted in a helpless expression before he said, "Fuck off."

"You're holding me a little too tight for that."

Almost instantly, the hold Soobin had on his hair loosened.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"S'fine. I like it."

He dragged his hand down the smooth, taut expanse of Soobin's abdomen, finding the beginnings of his happy trail beneath his fingers. With his range of motion freer, he sat back on his heels to look at Soobin in full. As frustrated as he'd sounded, all the playing around was doing something for Soobin, too. He was just as hard as Yeonjun was, if not more, the head of his cock flushed and shiny with precome. All laid out for Yeonjun to do with as he wished, he was nothing short of radiant. Yeonjun decided in that moment that Soobin needed to know that.

"You're so pretty," he breathed, helplessly reverent.

Soobin blinked, once, then twice, three times, quickly, like he'd been caught off guard. Yeonjun slid his hand down further, avoiding Soobin's dick to spread it out over one thick thigh instead. He squeezed it into his palm, kneading at the muscle like bread dough, watched a red flush spread over the skin when he was done. Yeonjun's eyes roved over him, his thighs and his dick and his abs that he'd never had to work very hard for, his chest mottled with marks from Yeonjun's hunger, the long line of his throat, his perfect face, perfect lips, and drop dead gorgeous blond hair.

"Kai knew what he was doing, dolling you up like that."

Soobin's breath hitched. He made a face, but it was delayed like he'd had to think about it first.

"Don't talk about Kai when you're about to suck my dick."

Yeonjun snickered, but relented.

"You really do look like an angel," he said. "Don't talk like one, though."

"God forbid."

"He probably would."

"Yeonjun."

"Sorry, sorry."

He had never been happier than he was right here, right now. The ability to bicker and tease and joke in bed and still have Soobin hard for him was a little bit of an ego trip, but it was nothing compared to how comfortable he felt doing it. And this was just the first time. How much better would it get between them when they had things down a little more smoothly? When he got to know Soobin's body better? When he got to know Soobin better than he already did? Just the thought of it was dizzying. The idea of a future with Soobin that was actually tangible, within Yeonjun's grasp—it was so overwhelming that he had to stop messing around and just feel it.

He shifted between Soobin's thighs, squeezing at the one beneath his hand, and folded down to kiss Soobin's hip. Less hungry, now, but no less worshipful. It was more reverence than Yeonjun had ever held in his heart toward any one thing. Looking up at Soobin through his eyelashes, he kissed him again, a gentle path along warm, soft skin from his thighs up to his hip, leaning in until his breath was ghosting over Soobin's dick. Soobin was tense with anticipation beneath him, and he only relaxed when Yeonjun gave his thigh another squeeze.

"Yeonjun," he said softly, almost pleading. He reached down and threaded a hand into Yeonjun's hair, gentler this time around than the last. "Please just do something already."

"Yeah, okay," Yeonjun murmured.

He slid his hand up Soobin's thigh to the base of his dick and held him there, lifting it into his palm and giving it one loose stroke from root to tip, sliding his thumb over the head and watching Soobin's face closely to catch his reaction. He didn't disappoint. Soobin's head tipped back on the pillows, but his mouth fell open around a soft moan. The hand in Yeonjun's hair shifted slightly, and he could feel the thin chain of the Cartier bracelet brush up against the shell of his ear. It was the last push he needed.

Leaning down, holding Soobin steady, he flicked his tongue out for a taste, right over the slit. Soobin jerked helplessly beneath him, thighs tensing, his hand tightening in Yeonjun's hair, and it only spurred Yeonjun on. He mouthed his way up the underside of Soobin's cock, wet, sloppy kisses that were more tongue than they were lip, until he reached the tip again and took it right into his mouth. His free hand braced itself on Soobin's hip as he sank down further, lips tight around Soobin while his tongue traced velvety skin.

"Fuck," Soobin gasped. "Yeonjun—fuck."

He wanted more of that. He wanted to hear what Soobin sounded like when he really couldn't help it, the words he'd say and the sounds he'd make when Yeonjun pushed him to the edge. So Yeonjun took Soobin deeper, gave more, keeping his hand a warm and stable presence on Soobin's hip just in case Soobin really couldn't help himself. So far, so good, but Yeonjun really wasn't looking forward to finding out what it would be like if Soobin surprised them both. He was a little too big for that to be comfortable.

But the feel of him in Yeonjun's mouth, the weight of him against Yeonjun's tongue, the sticky slide of spit as it dripped down to meet Yeonjun's hand that was working in slow strokes as he eased himself into fitting more of Soobin in his mouth—it was a little addicting. Yeonjun's blood was roaring in his ears. Soobin made a sound just shy of a whimper, and Yeonjun hummed in response, and that got him his first surprise, Soobin's hips twitching before he managed to get them under control.

Yeonjun pulled all the way off with a slick sound, and tilted his head, meeting Soobin's apologetic gaze head on.

"Sorry," Soobin said.

Yeonjun gripped his hip harder—just a little bit—and worked his hand over the length of Soobin's cock, dragging the mess of spit down, then back up, rubbed his palm over the head until Soobin's next breath shuddered and his eyelashes fluttered again.

"You're good," Yeonjun said. His voice came out hoarse and affected. He licked his lips, catching the way Soobin followed the movement. "Just try not to choke me, yeah?"

Soobin just nodded, dazed, his hand petting absently through Yeonjun's hair. Yeonjun's chest felt fuzzy and warm, punchdrunk on the way Soobin was quick to take orders, and quicker to let himself melt until he was putty in Yeonjun's hands. He allowed himself to savor it for just a few seconds longer before he resumed sucking Soobin off with fervor. It was messy, like most things between them, and it seemed to work. Yeonjun was getting all the sounds out of Soobin that he wanted to, taking him as deep as he could, and by the time he decided he should give attention elsewhere, too, the bitter tang of precome was heavy on the back of his tongue and Soobin was practically trembling from the effort of holding himself still, a bitten litany of Yeonjun's name escaping his gorgeous mouth.

Maybe all the foreplay got Soobin more worked up than he'd thought, or maybe more time had passed than Yeonjun was aware of. All Yeonjun had to do was cup his balls, dip a curious finger back behind them to add gentle pressure there, and Soobin was gasping, "Shit, Yeonjun, I'm gonna—"

Well, Yeonjun appreciated the warning, at least. He pulled off, but he wasn't quite fast enough, a pulse of come coating his tongue before he managed to let Soobin's dick slip out of his mouth. The rest spilled over his hand, and mostly over Soobin's abs, thanks to the way Yeonjun angled his dick.

"Sorry," Soobin said again, shuddering as Yeonjun jerked him through it. "Fuck."

His hand scrunched up Yeonjun's hair, then relaxed, then tightened again, breath hitching, overstimulated. It was only then that Yeonjun let him go. Soobin looked wrecked, eyes bright and shiny and slightly red, but there were no tears on his face.

"All good?" Yeonjun asked, just to be sure.

Soobin stared at him in disbelief, and then laughed.

"Fuck you," he said. "I think you just put me through sexual torture."

"I think that was a little too vanilla to be called torture, but if you're suggesting something..."

Soobin rolled his eyes, tugging on Yeonjun's hair.

"Shut up and get up here so I can kiss you," he said.

"Probably won't taste good," Yeonjun warned.

"Probably." Soobin tugged again, so Yeonjun went, meeting him in a languid, open-mouthed kiss. Soobin hummed into it, pulled back with a grimace, and said, "Yeah, not my favorite."

Then he was moving, sitting up properly, wriggling out from beneath Yeonjun to switch their positions. His eager hands were putting in the work to get those awful pleather pants off—really, they should have taken care of that earlier, because Yeonjun was so hard it was honestly painful, but Soobin had this hungry glint in his eyes that promised a good time, so he didn't bother regretting it.

"Just so you know," Yeonjun said breathlessly. "It's not gonna take much."

Soobin's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"What, you like giving head that much?" He asked.

"Maybe."

"Huh." Soobin tossed the pants aside and slipped his hands beneath the band of Yeonjun's briefs, dragging them down his thighs. Yeonjun bent his knees to help him out, and then those, too, joined the scattered mess of clothes on the floor. "I guess that's one more thing we have in common."

Yeonjun barely had time to process that statement before Soobin was taking him in his hand, the sight of the bracelet clinging to his wrist hitting Yeonjun like a punch to the gut. He reached out to grab onto something—probably Soobin's hair—before he remembered that it had just been bleached and that wasn't the brightest of ideas. Soobin seemed to share the sentiment, a wry look on his face as he said, "Maybe not that."

"Yeah, you're right," Yeonjun said, nodding. "Totally."

Maybe he wasn't getting enough oxygen, the way all his blood was rushing to his dick. Soobin eyed it for a moment, looking all for the world like he was admiring it, of all things, and then his eyes flicked back up to Yeonjun's face.

"You said it wouldn't take much, right?" He asked.

Yeonjun nodded wordlessly, hands finding the bedspread, fingers curling into the soft covers. Already, his skin felt so sensitive it almost hurt, a hot spike of want in his chest and gut, his pulse jumping, anticipation drawing the muscles in his thighs and abdomen taut until he felt strung like a bow. Blotchy heat crawled up the back of his neck and sat stubbornly in his cheeks and ears, and Yeonjun's breath caught audibly in his throat as Soobin gave him a lopsided smirk and leaned in.

There was no hesitation. He didn't take his time or draw it out like Yeonjun had. On the contrary, he seemed eager to end this as quickly as possible, the same way someone might try to beat a timed record. He took Yeonjun between his lips and, without any struggle, opened up his throat to take Yeonjun all the way down to the base, until his nose was pressed to Yeonjun's skin. Startled, Yeonjun yelped, and halfway through it morphed into a moan as Soobin swallowed eagerly around him.

"Holy shit," Yeonjun said, voice straining. The urge to reach for Soobin came back stronger, until he had to white-knuckle the covers to the point of pain to resist it. He could imagine it, that angelic blond hair beneath his fingers, dry and brittle from bleach but so gorgeous Yeonjun was tempted to close his eyes to get away from the sight of it. He resisted that, too, unwilling to miss even a second of the view. "Fuck, Soobin. Your mouth."

Yeonjun wasn't small by any means, but Soobin took him like he'd had bigger enough times that it wasn't problem. Yeonjun was dizzy with envy for all of two seconds before he remembered it didn't fucking matter, because it was his dick Soobin was sucking the soul out of right now, not anyone else's. He worked fast, coaxing Yeonjun to the edge quicker than he could blink with just a few bobs of his head and perfect suction around Yeonjun's cock. It should have been embarrassing how fast Yeonjun got there and how he forgot to warn Soobin entirely, too stunned to remember basic etiquette, but Soobin didn't seem to mind. Yeonjun slammed his eyes tightly shut, twisted the covers in his hands, and came down Soobin's throat, and Soobin just… swallowed it. No sign of that prior distaste to be found.

"What the fuck," Yeonjun said, when he was done shaking apart and Soobin had pulled off to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. "I thought you didn't like it?"

"Yeah, when it's me," Soobin said. "You're not the only one with favorites, you know."

Well, fuck. Preferences and bitter aftertaste aside, Yeonjun just had to kiss him after that. And again. And one more time, for good measure. He could have kept going, but after the fifth or sixth bitter kiss, Soobin mumbled, "We should probably brush our teeth."

So they stumbled out of bed and Yeonjun found them some clothes to wear for their trip to the bathroom, and they brushed their teeth together. Soobin took off the bracelet when they rolled back into bed, an unspoken agreement that they'd spend the rest of the night together.

"I don't want to roll over in the middle of the night and break it," he said, setting it gently onto Yeonjun's bedside table. Yeonjun didn't think that would happen, but it was sweet of Soobin to worry about it.

So much had happened in one night that it felt almost like a dream. Like Yeonjun might blink and wake up somewhere else. He couldn't believe it. It kept him awake long after the lights had been flicked off and they were lying together in the dark. His thoughts were racing so fast he couldn't keep up with them.

"Jun," Soobin said, his voice thick with sleep, startling him. His arm was snug and warm around Yeonjun's waist. Yeonjun had thought he was asleep, but maybe he wasn't the only one who was still processing.

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad it's you I'm spending the holidays with."

Oh.

"Yeah, me too," Yeonjun whispered. He thought about rolling over, about looking at Soobin's face, about kissing him again with their newly freshened breath—but quickly decided against it. Soobin had a grip on him that he couldn't pry himself out of, clingy and sweet as he held Yeonjun close. Yeonjun melted into it, his chest a lit hearth, eyelids heavy. "I'm glad too."

It was easy enough to drift off after that, and easier to sleep in the next morning. When Yeonjun finally managed to pry his sticky eyes open, he found their positions had migrated. Soobin was sprawled awkwardly on his back, limbs akimbo, with Yeonjun tucked into his side facing him. He looked messy, mouth open mid-snore with drool drying at the corner of his lips, and still somehow angelic even then, bare-faced and candid.

He blinked his eyes open eventually, foggy and still droopy with sleep, and when he saw Yeonjun propped up on his elbow, staring at him, he smiled.

"Merry Christmas," Soobin said hoarsely. He reached up, fingers smoothing down a tuft of Yeonjun's bedhead. Yeonjun's face heated. He'd had Soobin's dick in his mouth just hours ago, but somehow the tender touch made him more flustered than anything else.

"Merry Christmas," he echoed. "Breakfast?"

"In a bit." Soobin gathered up the blankets around himself until he looked like a cozy burrito, just his face and blond hair peeking out of it. "M'cold."

It was worth even the teasing and the many "I-told-you-so"s received from all their roommates when they finally dragged themselves out of bed. Taehyun in particular looked the most smug, even though the whole thing had really been orchestrated by Kai—but he was also unmistakeably happy for them.

"So you're dating now?" He asked over a steaming cup of coffee.

In response, Yeonjun shrugged.

"Or something," he said.

Taehyun frowned. He eyed where Soobin was standing half-asleep by the fridge, swaying like he might fall right into it, and asked, "Or something?"

He sounded like he was about to jump into another lecture.

"We figured our shit out, don't worry," Yeonjun said to appease him. "We just haven't actually discussed labels yet. We're on the same page, though, I think."

Taehyun had never looked so disappointed. He sat there gaping like a fish until Soobin wandered over empty-handed in his t-shirt and a pair of Yeonjun's flannel pajama pants, and stooped to drop a sleepy kiss on the crown of Yeonjun's head.

"You're not gonna find something to eat?" Yeonjun asked, frowning up at him.

"I'll just steal yours." Soobin slumped into the chair beside him, drawing one leg up to his chest until his knee was caught between him and the edge of the table. "'S my right and all. As your boyfriend."

Yeonjun flashed a smug grin in Taehyun's direction, a silent "see?" that made Taehyun roll his eyes and mutter something about luck.

"I think you and I have very different interpretations of boyfriend's rights," he told Soobin, but didn't protest when Soobin reached for his toast and stole a bite. "Get your own, you freeloader."

"I bought the bread," Soobin protested, his mouth full. "Who's freeloading?"

"That would be you, seeing as I bought the jam."

Soobin scrunched his face, crumbs clinging to his bottom lip.

"We're breaking up," he said.

Yeonjun sputtered. Across from them, Taehyun let out a long-suffering sigh, dropping his head into his hands. After all his fussing, something about it felt like justice being served.

"You wanted this," he told Taehyun, who only groaned into his palms. "You can't complain."

"I can and I will," Taehyun said, muffled. "It was either suffering your domestic married couple bickering or walking on eggshells around you both after things went to shit from your lack of communication. It's not like I had many choices."

"Then suffer in silence," Yeonjun said, right as Soobin blurted, "Married?"

Taehyun lifted his head to give them both a flat glare.

"Soobin wants to take it slow," Yeonjun said teasingly. "So no marriage just yet."

"Shame," came Kai's voice from behind them as he puttered into the kitchen in his fuzzy brown slippers. "And after all my hard work to make you put a ring on it? I expected more from you."

"Don't blame me!" Yeonjun protested. "It's his fault. And it was a bracelet anyway, not a ring."

Soobin was wearing it now, he noted. He must have put it back on while Yeonjun was in the bathroom. It clung to his wrist like a territorial claim, Yeonjun was here written all over it. Written elsewhere, too.

"All I want for Christmas is healthy hair," Soobin deadpanned. "Marriage can wait a while, I think."

When Yeonjun glanced at him, there was a hint of a pleased smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He hid it into the stolen piece of toast—Yeonjun's stomach flipped, tying itself into knots. His eyes dropped to the red mark he'd left at the base of Soobin's throat, the stretched neckline of his shirt doing nothing to hide it. Clearing his throat, Yeonjun stole the toast back and pushed down the urge to do something stupid like kiss Soobin right there in broad daylight and give the others something to really complain about.

His attempts at self-restraint were all for naught. All Soobin needed to do was look at him for Yeonjun to lose his mind. All he needed to do was drape the scarf he'd crocheted by hand around Yeonjun's neck with an apologetic smile on his face, and one look at the little reindeer pattern was enough that Yeonjun was sorely tempted to hang mistletoe in every doorway just to have an excuse to kiss Soobin silly in every corner of the house.

"Sorry it's not as fancy as yours," Soobin said.

All thoughts of mistletoe schemes left Yeonjun's head. He didn't need an excuse—he kissed Soobin just because he could, complaints be damned. By the end of the day a new rule had been added to the list on the fridge for the first time since the list had been written. NO PDA, it read in Beomgyu's handwriting in bright red sharpie, underlined not once, but twice.

It wasn't what Yeonjun had planned for the holidays, but he couldn't say he was complaining. Rather than doing nothing like he had dreaded, Yeonjun spent the rest of winter break doing Soobin instead.