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You wonder if your parents ever hugged you.
Even on the day you were born, you're not sure if they held you tenderly, if they were happy to see that you were born healthy.
In any case, it doesn't matter. You've always had your older brother by your side.
Yul is only two years older, but even though you're close in age, you feel like he's lived many lives before this one. He's inexplicably more experienced in everything, as if he has all the answers at the tip of his tongue. He has never spared any effort to protect you.
Your relationship with your parents is complex. They are demanding and distant, and because they come from a wealthy family, they expect you to behave in an exceptional manner to continue the family line. As the eldest son, Yul has always been subjected to the most demanding experiences. Your parents never went easy on him when it came to punishment, and as much as you wanted to repay your older brother for everything he did for you, you both knew it was better not to get involved in your older brother's business with your parents.
The truth is that Yul's love goes beyond brotherly love.
You are the greatest object of his devotion and admiration; there is no barrier that can contain his feelings for you. He knows he is sick because of this, he knows it is not normal to love someone this way, and that it is worse when it is a family member. God, everything your parents said about him is true deep down. He feels powerless because of this.
And what do you do when you're stuck in the grotesque? Embrace it.
Yul took advantage of your naivety multiple times during childhood. Whether it was showering with you or watching you at inappropriate times. He also had no qualms about touching your breasts when they began to develop.
Of course, there was a condition. He would continue doing those special things if you remained quiet, without telling your parents or anyone else.
It didn't take long for you to fall in love with your older brother.
That was a recipe for disaster. Negligent parents and a brother who played the role of protector in place of your parents. You liked it when Yul was close to you, and when he touched you, you felt a very pleasant tingling sensation in your body.
“Yul,” you say, trying to get your older brother's attention. “I learned some things at school today.”
The boy's heart froze.
“What would that be?” He replies, giving you a cue to continue.
“When a couple loves each other very much, they get married and consummate their love. Is that true?”
“Uh-huh.” He confirms, and you can feel his smile blossoming on his face as you wait for the part. “When a couple do love each other they marry, make love and have children.”
“Yul!” you exclaim, completely excited. “Does that mean that when we're older, you'll make me your wife?”
The boy curses his perverted mind for wanting to take advantage of the situation. Thanks to him, you were rotten too.
“Yes,” he says and puts a hand on your cheek. “As soon as we're old enough, I'll make you my wife. We'll have children and be very happy together.” The boy caresses your face as he says this. “Right now, that's my vow that we'll be able to do all of that in the future.” Your brother closes his eyes and seals your lips with a kiss, something that has never happened before. “It's a promise.”
Things have changed since Yul started middle school.
He no longer looks at you or touches you. You feel like you are undesirable in his eyes—just as you feel with your parents—and it breaks your heart.
What could it be? What was so different that your brother no longer paid attention to you? Had you become a disappointment to him too?
A girl.
You didn't want to believe it, but the words came out of Yul's mouth during dinner: he was dating an older girl named Eun Sian.
Your heart exploded into a thousand pieces. You could swear you felt sick when you heard the news. You couldn't eat anything anymore, your chest tightened, and you desperately needed to cry.
Things apparently didn't go well with the girl.
Maybe it was wrong to celebrate the situation, but you were inexplicably happy. Sian's mother tried to hurt Yul. It wasn't a serious cut, but the situation was alarming enough that the families swore never to cross paths again.
Yul returned home completely devastated by the idea of separating from his girlfriend.
You hated with all your might to see your older brother in that state, especially because of a girl who didn't deserve him. You were the only woman worthy of being with Yul. He promised he would make you his wife.
You also committed the sin of believing that he would get better and things would go back to the way they were before. How foolish you were. He was devastated and heartbroken, and you tried to keep him company in many ways, only to be brutally rejected.
One day, Yul left home.
He was already in high school, but he rarely left the house. You feared he would never return, but that's not what happened.
Your brother's black hair was as long as a girl's, his gaze remained sad and lonely, he wore a gray hoodie when he entered the house.
You were in your room, and just by the footsteps you knew it was Yul arriving. He approaches your door dangerously, opening it abruptly.
“Yul?!” You are surprised; it had been a long time since he had entered your room. “It's been a while since you've been here...”
“Be quiet,” he scolds you. “I think it's better if you don't make any noise that might attract someone's attention. I really don't have the patience for that right now.”
He pulls you and lays you down roughly on your bed, staying on top of you. You try to break free, but Yul is clearly stronger, even with those thin arms. You close your eyes in fear.
“What happened, hm?” Yul asks and touches your face. “I thought you liked it when we did this, I thought you missed me.”
“I did,” you say weakly. “I missed you more than anything in the world, I thought I'd never have you again,” you say and blush instantly. These things about romance and feelings are complicated, but when you feel this way about your older brother, it's even worse.
You understand that incestuous relationships are frowned upon by society, so much so that you never told anyone about the way Yul touched you. But you truly believe that this is pure and genuine love, you really believe that one day you two will run away from this house and live a romance far from any judgment.
But that's not how Yul thinks.
“Are you making a lot of friends at school?” Yul asks, and you don't understand what he means by that. “I don't hear you leaving the house.”
“I don't have any friends, I don't have anyone really... I always thought it was a waste of time to make friends when I could be with you.”
Yul smiles after you speak, an enigmatic smile.
“What are we?” He asks, and all you can think about is how charming his black hair falling across his face is.
“Siblings. You're my older brother, Yul.”
“Exactly.” He says, running his hand over your thigh, then unexpectedly slapping and squeezing the soft area. You let out a moan of pain, and he seems to like it. “I'm your older brother. Do you know what that means? It means you belong to me. To me and no one else.”
You are still incredulous about the slap on your thigh, and your skin still burns with pain.
“Well, Yul... I think we'd better stop here. I'm glad you still think about me, but our parents could come home at any moment...”
“Shut up, you fucking whore.” That was the first time Yul had ever directed an insult at you. “Did any boy come near you while I was away? Did any boy touched you? Looked at you?” He seemed terribly obsessive now.
“Stop it, Yul! You're scaring me!” You try to push him off you, but he resists and stays on top.
“Don't try that, stupid girl,” he says. “I'm talking to you, answer your big brother.”
“A boy confessed to me. But I completely rejected his confession!” You try to get around the situation.
“How close were you?” Your brother asks.
“Not close at all! He's in another class!” You reply immediately.
“You're a lost cause, little sister.” He lowers his head and starts sniffing your neck. Having Yul this close is so nice, it's a closeness that only siblings can have.
He kisses and bites your neck. He alternates between licking and sniffing, as if checking his territory. It hurts a lot when he bites, but you feel like he only does it to elicit sounds of pain from you. Soon he stops and looks at you for a moment, caressing your face, and you feel tenderness coming from your brother. He lowers his head again and kisses you, a kiss of true love.
You've been dreaming about this kiss for years, you've even touched yourself thinking about kissing your older brother. A real kiss. Yul slips his tongue in and you feel a shock throughout your body, it's completely different from the last kiss you shared, this one feels more real, more adult, more passionate. Tongues roll, muffled sounds escape, but Yul makes sure to swallow them all.
One of his hands slides down toward your sports shorts, even with the fabric on top, he touches your intimate area roughly. You moan and he muffles you with his other hand.
“Yul?!” You say incredulously.
“Ah. Ah-ha! I can feel it even through this fabric, you're wet because of that kiss, hm? What a naughty little sister you are.” He says and his hand begins to slide under the fabric of your shorts and panties, he was now in direct contact with your intimacy.
“Y-Yul! Please stop. If our parents catch us like this... I—”
“You what?” His rubbing seems rougher now. "It's not like you have the right to do anything. You can't even stop me. You're weak and pathetic, little sister. That's why you can't live without me."
It doesn't take long before Yul's fingers poke at your wet entrance. You're scared by this, you don't want this to happen at all, at least not now.
“Yul!” Your attempt to call him is so pathetic. You whimper like a little puppy, it's impossible to take you seriously. Even so, he looks at you. “D-Don't do that, please. I promise we can do it when the time is right. I promise to keep it a secret, but please don't—”
“Shut up.” He says, and you feel his fingers tearing you apart, it hurts so much, so very much, you can feel yourself contracting between your brother's two long, thin fingers. “You annoy me so much sometimes. You know, I think you should thank me for being such a good brother.”
Your brother's fingers move roughly inside your intimate walls. You try to push him away and stop him from moving, but he is so much stronger than you. It seems useless to fight Yul.
He says degrading things to you, things that should not be said to anyone, and you feel an absurd urge to cry. Your eyes water when a strange wave of pleasure hits your body.
Your brother's fingers are moving in and out of you, he is fast and merciless.
“Yul! Please!” You ask tearfully. “I feel like I'm going to—I'm really going to! Please!”
“Huh?” He threatens to say something, but it's too late, you've already come with your older brother's fingers inside you. “Holy shit,” he says, almost laughing. “You really came with your older brother's fingers inside you? What kind of disgusting creature are you?”
Yul barely controls his laughter as he takes off his shirt, pulls down his pants and underwear. You have a view you've never had before: your older brother's hard, naked cock.
Yul is a pretty boy, probably the most beautiful boy you've ever seen. Your gaze focuses on his cock. It's a good size, but probably too big for an inexperienced girl like you. What stands out most is its thickness. It's really too thick, you can imagine yourself being torn apart and crying in pain again, what a sin. The glans is very red and was leaking. There were also some prominent veins.
Anticipating your brother's next move, you automatically closed your legs with all your strength and cowered, praying he would give up.
“Oh, no. Don't even try.” Yul forces you to look at him, you feel your whole body tremble with pain. “I know you've been wanting this, there's no point in running away. I'm being a good brother and I'm going to give you what you want most, can you stop being such an ungrateful brat?” A sharp slap was directed at your face, now your face burned with pain.
“No. I never wanted it to be like this!” You try to fight back with words. “You... you're using me! You're only doing this because of what happened with that Eun Sian!”
Another slap was delivered.
“What did you say about nonna?” You could swear that Yul's eyes had lost all their sparkle now. “You fucking brat. I'm going to kill you right now.”
A physical fight between siblings began. You dodged Yul's punches and kicks, but it was never enough; he always managed to land a blow somehow. It didn't take long before he was on top again. Your shorts were properly pulled down and your white panties were torn. It was a shame, you really liked them. They had lace and bows. So delicate. But now they were ruined.
“On one hand, that was good, little sister.” He says, without any remorse. “It's good that now there's no chance you'll show it to some pig at your school.”
That makes you tremble. You know exactly what to expect now, and you fear it. Yul said that when you consummated your love, it would be after you were married, living far away from where you are now. Why did he abandon all those promises?
“Tell me,” he begins, and you look at him fearfully. “What am I? What are we?”
“We are siblings,” you reply as a single tear rolls down your cheek. “You are my older brother.”
“Do you know what that means?” he asks, biting his lip. You instantly shake your head. “It means you were literally made to be mine. You shouldn't even go to school or try to make friends, you should stay home serving me all day, being your big brother's little pet.”
The way he says these things makes your stomach churn.
“I should punish you severely for this, you know? But I feel like doing something else right now...” He says, approaching you. You feel his glans threatening to enter you. It hurt so much when it was his fingers. Would it be worse now?
“Yul! Please! We don't have to do this!”
“After all these years, I've realized something,” Yul begins. “We're very similar. Looking at you is like looking at a pure version of myself that never existed. It's kind of exciting. But damn it! I really fucking hate this shit!”
Without thinking twice, he shoves his entire length inside you. He throbs inside you, there's no protection or anything, he's really raw inside you. Damn, it hurts like hell. Your brother must have the thickest cock in the world. All you can do is moan in pain.
“Yul! This isn't good! Please stop...” Before you could pathetically beg your older brother for mercy, he began to move like an animal. His movements were quick and precise, hitting all your spots so well that you allowed yourself to feel pleasure at being violated by your older brother.
“You really saved yourself for me, huh? You're a little slut with morals then.” He continued at that bizarrely good pace. You wanted to scream and cry, but you also wanted to keep squeezing him with your intimate walls. “You're so tight. Holy shit.”
Yul also moaned. It was melodic and exciting. People often compared your brother to a girl, and somehow he does seem a little feminine. He moans so gracefully that you forget you didn't even want to be doing this in the first place.
“You know,” he says between thrusts. “Nonna never wanted to do this with me, and I always cherished her innocence.” He moans a little more and continues. “But with you taking it so well, I wonder why we didn't do this sooner. I guess I was saving it for you too.”
The idea that your brother had unconsciously chosen to lose his virginity to you made you smile amid the violence.
“Damn. You're so good.” He doesn't slow down at all. “I hate how your little sister's pussy is making my dick feel so good. It's your fault.”
You keep moaning pathetically as your brother's dick violates you and makes you feel good at the same time.
“Damn. I can't take it anymore.” He says fiercely. “I'm going to cum. I'm going to cum hard inside you. I'm going to put a baby in you and you'll have to explain the situation to our parents.” He laughs as he finishes speaking. “What will their reaction be when they find out that their youngest daughter is nothing more than a little slut for her older brother.”
Oh, shit. You were cumming again.
Your walls tighten and squeeze Yul's cock to the point of madness. You can feel a thick burst of liquid inside you. Just as he said, he came inside you. You felt his cock throbbing inside you for a long moment as you caught your breath. That was too wild. Yul had violated you in the worst possible way, and now you were probably pregnant. Oh, God, what a mess.
He pulled out of you, laid you on your side, and spooned you. He hugged your waist and pulled the blanket over both of you.
“Despite everything, I missed you,” he says as he kisses your cheek. You are motionless after everything that has happened, in pure shock. “Our parents will be here soon. Do you want me to help you clean up?”
The truth is, you didn't know what to think.
For a long time, it had been your dream to consummate your love with your brother. Now you had done it. There was no love, but it was pleasurable. This is very confusing for a girl who has never experienced true brotherly love. Your parents are completely negligent, and Yul is a big opportunist. Perhaps you were doomed to failure in this loveless limbo.
At least now you are sure that no other man will ever touch you again.