Chapter Text
It seemed like a minor miracle that they'd gotten away with it. Granted, it had taken a lot of public negotiations— Murdoc denying, 2D wheedling— but they were in a car. Alone.
Well, aside from the boot full of clumsily-wrapped presents.
The M25 was crawling along, and Murdoc couldn't help being annoyed. It was like discovering the cherry on top of your sundae was from a jar that had been sitting open since 1973; he'd wanted to make good time on this, because the sooner they got to Eastbourne the more time they'd have between arriving and when Dents was meant to be dropped off at his parents' house. Murdoc really, really wanted to get a little something in ahead of tonight, when 2D would be sleeping in his parents' spare room, and tomorrow when he'd be playing daddy dearest; it would tide Murdoc over until he could pick 2D up, nip him back to the rental, and then spend the final day of this weekend making the most of the little blue pills he'd picked up a few days ago.
"Y'know, the good thing 'bout me needin' to stay at mum an' dad's is I can fink about more reasons for us to fuck off for a bit." 2D had been remarkably quiet so far, although Murdoc had been glad. Driving in London was a ballache— a bad one— and he'd needed to focus so he wouldn't accidentally mow down any braindead tourists who apparently came from countries without cars, given how casually they tried to meander out into the road without any warning. "S'tricky. Be doin' it every weekend if I could figure out how."
The laundromat was okay, but clientele had picked up a bit now it was winter given that people couldn't dry stuff outside. Less chance for anything sneaky, and it made Dents more paranoid about interruptions which— in turn— made Murdoc even more sexually frustrated. Wanking didn't help, even if he did keep nicking Dents' underwear to use for cleanup, because masturbation wasn't the same as fucking. It was less satisfying, less rewarding, less… Murdoc let out a little growl of irritation as some berk changed lanes without indicating, and realised that he ought to contribute to the conversation. Y'know. To be sociable. "Every fuckin' night, if I had my way, but you're right. It's tricky, and it's a pain in the arse."
"Yeah… An' you're the only pain in the arse I want." 2D sighed, before snickering as Murdoc thwacked him in the arm. "Ow— I meant, like, it does 'urt a bit, not that you're…"
"I know I'm a bastard, Faceache, you don't need to pretend I'm lovely just because I'm slinging you some sausage." Murdoc wasn't going to bring up the other stuff. He could acknowledge that he had… Feelings… About D, but there was truth in what Dents had said about the separation of Murdoc and— as 2D had put it— My Muds. That particular soppy prick was locked tight in the darkest, deepest, dankest dungeon of Murdoc's mind, and would only be let out under very specific conditions. "An' I picked up those pills I mentioned, so we can really, er, make the most of the time we got."
"Hm." 2D blinked, before lowering his voice as if they might somehow be overheard. "So, what, you take 'em an' you're hard til it wears off, or…?"
"I wish." Murdoc pulled a face, before flashing 2D the dirtiest grin he could while still paying attention to the road. "Used 'em before a few times. Just cuts down on the wait, especially if I'm still up for it. Get off, have a little break, then get back to it— gotta stay hydrated an' all that shit, don't want you getting another migrane."
"I got my pills this time. I made sure. An' my mum always has 'em about anyway. I'll be awright." 2D was way too pleased with himself for remembering to pack the most basic necessities, and Murdoc sighed before patting Dents' skinny thigh. 2D's hand covered his, his skin cool and fingers twitchy. "Muds d'you reckon… If we get there early…"
"You're keen." Murdoc couldn't help the smug grin, and he didn't even flip off the van that had undertook him. He slid his hand a little higher, pleased when 2D inhaled sharply. He wasn't even doing anything and Faceache was keyed up. "How about this… If it's getting a bit too tight, time-wise, I find somewhere quiet to pull over and—"
"I wanna do that." 2D's interruption was uncharacteristically forceful, fingers wrapping around Murdoc's wrist. "Can we do that? Please?"
"If I didn't know you any better, D, I'd say you like messing about in public." Murdoc wished that 2D had the foresight to rent an automatic. If he needed to change gear they were fucked, because Murdoc had to keep following 2D's leg up and do some exploration. "Better be careful. All it takes is someone walking their dog to show up and the whole country'll know that you're the sort of slag who'll give it up anywhere."
It wasn't easy to skirt around the actual reasons for their secrecy but Murdoc was alright at dirty talk and 2D was easily impressed, which was a winning combination. Murdoc didn't fancy his mugshot being on a paper linked to a sex scandal, and neither of them wanted it to touch the band, but those weren't sexy concepts. 2D being so desperate to take a pounding that he'd be up for it in all sorts of risky places? That was hot, and Murdoc wanted to encourage it… Safely. A bit of exhibitionism was lovely as long as you did it safely, much like any other extreme sport. If you wanted to get into skydiving you got an instructor and all the equipment, rather than trying to battle your way out of a Ryanair flight to Ibiza at 30,000ft, and Murdoc supposed— given that he'd fucked in some very odd places— that he was uniquely qualified to be 2D's mentor.
2D made a whiny noise as Murdoc gave his cock a squeeze through his jeans, then reclaimed his hand to downshift, wanting to overtake the car in front that had decided to slow down to 40 for some stupid reason. "Can't do more, I need both hands... And distracted driving kills, Dents, don't you know that? Thought you needed a licence to rent a car."
"Yeah, I got my licence…" 2D was wriggling about in his seat like a stroppy kid, eventually wedging himself in diagonally, facing Murdoc. "Technically I'm allowed, but I passed my test before you crashed into my face an' all… So driving's a bit tricky. Fink I'd be alright if it was, like, a straight road wiv nobody on it, but I'd rather get the bus."
Murdoc glanced over at him. 2D's hands were gripping his knees in what seemed to be severe effort, and the poor thing seemed to be trying to pretend he wasn't hard. "Make yourself comfortable, Faceache— you need to get some looser jeans, mate… So how good are your eyes? How many fingers am I holding up?"
"None. You got your hands on the wheel, Muds, I'm not blind." 2D was thinking, before he slowly brought his hands to his waist. Murdoc couldn't look directly, but he heard the vzzt of the zipper and Dents' little sigh of relief. "Um… I can see you awright. An' then things get all blurry. Normally s'the closer the better."
Murdoc nodded, flipping the indicator to shuffle over into the slow lane behind an articulated lorry. Having Dents in the car made him a far safer driver; he was leaving proper braking distance and going below the speed limit voluntarily, because it meant he could look over and not worry too much about going splat. 2D's cock was still technically hidden, but his pink y-fronts weren't leaving much to the imagination. "Go on, then, touch yourself a bit til I can find somewhere to pull over. Just be a bit sneaky… An' don't get yourself off, though, that's my job, alright?"
"Oh. Erm, yes, Muds…" 2D's voice had softened and gone all breathy, and Murdoc kept some of his attention on the lorry in front but kept the rest trained intently on the passenger seat. 2D gingerly slipped one hand into his underwear, and Murdoc reached over to squeeze his leg. "We won'… Won't need to wait long til we can stop, yeah?"
"That's right. I'll find us a nice spot, sweetheart, don't you worry. I've got eyes like a hawk."
The rain had started as they'd gotten onto the A22, but that was a good thing. It meant less chance of interruption, although Murdoc wasn't really worried about that. If you chose your spot right, it wasn't a concern, and a perfect location had presented itself; a rutted, potholed lane that eventually led them to a tiny car park belonging to a depressing patch of woodland. There were no ANPR signs, no pay and display, no CCTV, and no other cars; Murdoc parked crookedly, facing away from the entrance and up against an overgrown hedge. If someone did decide that it was worth coming here while it was pissing it down, they'd have a little warning to look presentable. Murdoc would have to be on lookout duty, but he was fine with that. 2D had been making tense little whines and other noises that had made it a concerted act of willpower for Murdoc not to pull onto the hard shoulder and just fuck him there, and Murdoc would have bet good money that Dents would probably last about five minutes once they got into it.
He glanced over at 2D. He was flushed, t-shirt ridden up to show his stomach, and he'd given up on keeping his dick hidden by his underwear; his hand was wrapped around it but was no longer moving, the awareness that they had stopped and everything that meant clearly needing a little more focus. Murdoc held up one finger in a silent wait a sec before reaching beneath his seat and finding the release mechanism so he could slide it all the way back. He'd lobbed his bag into the backseat behind 2D, and it was easy enough to rummage in it one-handed as the drumming of the rain on the roof of the car grew louder. Thank fuck he'd been hoping they'd get to do this; if he'd put his stuff in the boot with all the presents, they'd have ended up doing something fucking-adjacent again, and Murdoc really needed this. His fingers brushed plastic, then curled around a familiar bottle. Victory. "So, Faceache, question is… You wanna keep your clothes on or not?"
"Is it safe 'ere?" 2D didn't look about, keeping his attention solely focused on Murdoc. It was a clear reminder that— despite everything— Dents trusted him the way he had at the start. The trust that had started all this, and that Murdoc had taken advantage of… And that he wanted to keep taking advantage of. "You said, just takes one…"
"It's pissing it down, D, and there's no other cars here. Reckon we're the only people for at least a mile."
"Then I wanna feel you proper, Muds." 2D took a deep breath before toeing his trainers off, letting go of his cock to shimmy his jeans and underwear down, then tugging his t-shirt over his head as he kicked his feet free. Murdoc was— momentarily— taken aback by how decisive Dents was being, before realising that he ought to do something similar. It was probably sensible, actually; he was meant to be dropping 2D off at his parents' house, and it was probably best for him to arrive in clean clothes, and Murdoc hadn't packed with the intention of wearing much. He'd doss about for a day, order a kebab or something, then spend Sunday inside his Faceache. Maybe Monday morning, too, one for the road… He pulled his shirt off, tossing it on top of his bag and dropping the bottle of lube into the cupholder and starting on his belt before 2D leaned over and got his hands in the way. "Lemme do it."
"Bossy, aren't you?" Murdoc leaned over, curling a hand around the back of 2D's skinny neck. He felt warm despite the car starting to cool down now the engine was off, and it was hard to kiss him slowly. 2D's hands were clumsy, and although there was something charming about it… That didn't stop it being a relief when Muds' jeans were finally loose enough for him to lift his hips and use his free hand to shuffle them down to rest at mid-thigh, then he could finally pull 2D onto his lap. It wasn't right; Dents was sitting sideways rather than straddling him, feet still on the passenger seat, but Murdoc didn't give a shit. He needed 2D's weight on his lap, to let his hands scurry over 2D's bare skin like curious spiders, to be able to taste him without thinking about all the logistics of this. Driving was hard work, so who'd begrudge him a minute or two where he didn't have to think?
The seat recline lever had been a bitch to find, but Murdoc had done it. He was so fucking practical when it came to wrangling 2D and his stupid long legs.
There was simply no easy way for Dents to face him and for them to fuck if they were sitting up. No two ways about it. He was just too long, and Murdoc once again wished for another Winnebago… But if he'd gotten Dents to rent one it'd have been far, far too obvious. That, and Murdoc had driven his old one as though it was a tank, and 2D probably hadn't fancied paying a small fortune in insurance fees, but it would have been worth it to have space. He tightened his grip on the lever, annoyed by how stiff it was, before it jerked up and he went backwards. It was only luck that 2D didn't go with him and break his nose again; Murdoc was left blinking up at the roof of the car, wondering what twat had designed that particular mechanism… But only for a moment. 2D leaned over him, wide-eyed, and Murdoc remembered why he'd pulled the thing in the first place. Fuck it, it couldn't hurt to admit that Dents could be startlingly pretty, his lips still looking all pouty and soft.
"You awright, Muds?"
"Will be, when you get on me. Those legs of yours weren't made for this sorta thing, Dents." Murdoc slid a hand down 2D's thigh, following it with his eyes. "Wouldn't change 'em for anything, though. I like you all… Willowy."
That wasn't his word, it was too poetic, and Murdoc wasn't sure where it had come from. The rain was still loud, the windows curtained by sheets of water, and the greyish light heightened the contrast between their respective skin tones. It washed Dents right out, but Murdoc knew he was blushing. It was clear in the way he smiled, so flattered, and Murdoc filed that away for later as 2D carefully straddled him, rearranging his limbs while being careful not to accidentally knee Murdoc anywhere sensitive. Dents had bent forwards but even then his head was too close to the ceiling for comfort, but Murdoc was still looking up at him.
He thought he might have been happy to just lie there and gaze at 2D for a while, but that was too much like being soft. Instead he took hold of 2D's hips, holding him steady. "Go on, sit on it like you did at the airbnb. S'all yours, sweetheart, you've earned it… Just take your time."
It was probably harsh not to offer to loosen Dents up a bit, but Murdoc would make up for it later. Perhaps it was the whole pain in the arse comment; there'd been a hint of longing in 2D's sigh that had Murdoc's interest prickling, and he didn't want to waste time. What if 2D's sodding mother decided to ring him to find out if they were on the way? Instant moodkill, unless Dents was adequately distracted. 2D seemed pleased by the challenge at least, gappy teeth revealed in a slow grin as he reached for the lube. "Close y'eyes."
"Alright." All the less work to do. If 2D wanted to be a bit silly, who was Murdoc to complain— "Fuck, that's cold."
2D had gone a bit overboard; his hand was so slippery as to be almost frictionless as he stroked Murdoc's cock, the chill quickly retreating when confronted by body heat and the relief of finally getting things going. It was relaxing too, a happy ending without needing a massage first, although Murdoc was miles away from coming. With his eyes closed he could focus on other stuff; the sound of 2D's breathing, the firm grip at the base of his cock, the seat creaking as 2D moved and then…
Weight and pressure as Dents did exactly what Murdoc had suggested, one hand planted firmly beside Murdoc's head to support his body. 2D moved cautiously, and Murdoc was staying very, very still. It was a slow process, the giving way of what had felt like solid flesh, but time had also decided to dawdle. Murdoc listened to Dents as he took sharp little breaths then held them until he had to sigh them out as he lowered himself, trying not to focus too much on anything below his waist until 2D made a hiccupy squeak as something gave way. Then he couldn't help it; it was almost uncomfortable, the head of his cock wedged in Dents like a stubborn cork in a bottle, too tight… Murdoc opened his eyes and immediately wished he'd done it sooner.
2D's eyes were closed, gritted teeth bared as he squared his narrow shoulders. Sweat was beading on his forehead; he looked determined, and Murdoc figured out why in the split-second before 2D went full Vlad the Impaler on himself. Murdoc's strangled groan matched the low, pained sound that forced itself out of 2D's throat. Stupid, Faceache, do you want to be fucking limping when we get there? Except of course 2D did. He wanted a reminder, one he'd feel with every step, the kinky little… "Aw, Faceache, this is why I love you."
2D kept his eyes closed, patting his way up Murdoc's chest with his slippery hand as he leaned forwards. Their lips brushed before 2D swallowed and took another hitching breath, his hand curling into a fist that trapped a few of Murdoc's chest hairs. It hurt, but not enough to pay attention to it. "Luh… I love ya too, Muds."
The car roof was too low for 2D to do much work, but that just made this a clear demonstration of how great they were at teamwork. Murdoc's feet were on the floor so he was perfectly positioned to rock his hips up, directing 2D in a steady grinding motion that felt indulgently lazy. This was the sort of sex they ought to be having on Sunday afternoons in summer, rubbing against each other like they were trying to use the friction between them to start a fire. Dents' cock was pressed against Murdoc's stomach again, which seemed important. There was this one song that Murdoc could vaguely remember playing a lot on the radio in the early 2000s, some bollocks that went I think it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes aligning when we kiss or something, but Murdoc preferred their version; it'd get censored for sure, but he'd fucked a lot of people and not one of them had been as Goldilocks-perfect as Dents was. Squirming about together shouldn't have felt this good, but it did. Murdoc was used to shagging being a purposeful act, all build-up, but he'd have stayed inside Dents forever if it wouldn't have been really impractical… That and his thigh and stomach muscles wouldn't hold out for much longer. They already felt a bit burn-y; he'd probably need a few beers tonight to stop them aching.
He'd found those old scars on 2D's thighs again without really meaning to. Murdoc had one hand low on 2D's back, keeping them moving together, while he stroked the lines he'd etched so long ago with the other. If his mouth hadn't been otherwise occupied he'd have told 2D how he wanted to give him more scars in secret places, the same vandal instinct that led him to scrawl on toilet walls in marker or carve his initials into trees, except with an added meaning; that 2D was his. Murdoc didn't want some S&M Master-Slave bullshit— that was way too much effort— but he wanted every mark he left on Dents to be as permanent as his fractured eyes. Only Murdoc got to change him, to transform him, to grab him by the collar and yank him from a boring life as a piano salesman and into the spotlight, to turn him into the sort of cock-hungry whore who'd say yes please to whatever Murdoc fancied, to be the sort of person Murdoc could care about without feeling pressure to be better, to…
2D had one arm around Murdoc's shoulders, the other hand toying with his inverted crucifix— it could probably do with a good clean one of these days— before something changed. The embrace turned into a vicegrip; Dents clung like a koala to a really nice tree, clenching around Murdoc's cock as a shudder rolled through him, then his hold loosened again. 2D's tongue flicked against Murdoc's bottom lip, which didn't help with the waltz down memory lane Murdoc was trying to take, but he knew what this was.
It ain't gonna happen if you stay all quiet.
2D was like a car with a faulty ignition, and he needed certain things to, er, start. And while Murdoc was sure he could probably keep at it until Dents' couldn't not come, that would probably take a while. Another thing for the to-do list, but for now…
2D shuddered again, making a whimpery sound, and Murdoc ducked to press his forehead against Dents' sweaty shoulder. His brain felt as smooth as a beach pebble, but that wasn't a problem. Murdoc just needed to stop not talking; that was what had started this all off, after all, his big mouth. He nipped at 2D's collarbone, breathing him in until his lungs had to be packed with pheromones or whatever the fuck it was that made Dents smell so good in spite of Murdoc's fucked-up sinuses and how much he smoked. "Wanna eat you alive, Faceache, you're so tasty… You gonna be thinking 'bout me tonight?"
"Yeh—" 2D rolled his head to the side, an invitation that Murdoc couldn't decline. He tried to be gentle, but 2D's hoarse little groan was impossible to resist. "Don' worry, I'll tell 'em… Tell 'em I gotta girlfrien' or some… Somethin'… Aw, aw Muds, y'so…"
The tension was building again, 2D's shaky limbs tensing, and Murdoc lifted his chin to whisper in 2D's ear. "I'll be your somethin', Dents. And you're mine, aincha? My lovely little Faceache— I should write property of Murdoc on that arse of yours, bet you'd love that— and I'm your Muds… Gonna text you later, D, and I dunno what it'll say but that doesn't matter 'cause it'll mean that I'm rubbing one out an' thinking about you. About how fuckable you are, and how you drive me fuckin' crazy…"
2D's breathing was wet and ragged now, and Murdoc found a little more energy to put into his upward thrusts. The final leg of the marathon; 2D had held out way longer than Murdoc had expected, but that didn't mean much.
"Your Muds loves you, 2D. Loves you so much, but shh… S'our little secret, darlin', but you know it's true, don't you?"
Murdoc's stomach itched, and he had to stop himself from scratching it.
He'd had to put his shirt back on, but it had been a compromise; he couldn't drive around all cum-splattered with his tits out, and he hadn't wanted to even attempt cleaning off. Yeah, so he fancied being a bit dirty… So what? He needed something to get off over later, and 2D had to put his boxers back on else he'd be leaving a slug trail in his jeans and he'd only brought the one pair with him. Not fair, really, but Murdoc supposed he could probably spin that into something that'd benefit him at a later date.
"S'a right 'ere, then it's number seven." 2D's directions were halfhearted, and Murdoc looked over at him as he waited for a cluster of cars coming the opposite way to pass. The mark on his neck had come in nice and livid; he'd definitely need to make up a story about it. Other than that he seemed presentable, and while he probably smelled a bit of sex it wasn't anything a quick smoke could cover up. "Wish you could come with me."
"What, and hang out with your children?" Murdoc made a pukey noise, and 2D shrugged morosely. "Stop pulling that face, you know I'm no good with kids— you were always the one reading Noodle bedtime stories and whatnot, and you don't want your parents to overhear what we get up to."
"I know. I'll just miss you a bit, that's all. I don't mind it all bein' secret, but it ain't easy." 2D carefully shifted his weight from one side to the other, looking out of the window. "Wish I could stop time or somethin'. If I had magic powers, we could sneak off whenever."
"Sentimental prat." Murdoc patted 2D's leg to show he meant it fondly, before finally being able to pull into 2D's parents' road. Two bland rows of semi-detached houses, probably built in the 80s, and Murdoc wondered how anyone could stand to live somewhere so boring. It even made Stoke look lively. "It'll be alright. You have fun with your brats, I'll spend a day lazing about, and I'll pick you up the day after tomorrow and we'll do whatever you fancy. Even if it's candles and rose petals."
"Promise?" 2D turned back towards him, and Murdoc slowed as he tried to check the house numbers and look at Dents.
"Promise… And here we are. Tosspot manor. Won't kiss you goodbye, Dents, there's some curtains twitching already. Nosy old buggers." Murdoc hadn't parked especially well, but he hadn't actually wanted to stop. He socked 2D in the shoulder, smiling at him although he was feeling a bit gloomy too. "Remember those presents in the boot."
Something about that seemed to cheer Dents up way more than it should have; he'd even stopped slouching, eyes brightening. "Oh, yeh, hold on a sec…"
Murdoc couldn't have driven off if he'd wanted to. 2D had left the door hanging open as he hurried around to the back of the car, his gait awkward as he tried not to walk funny. The boot opened with a soft hydraulic hiss, followed by loud rustling and then something was lobbed through into the backseat. A small present, and Murdoc was torn between glee at getting a gift and irritation that it was a Christmas present. 2D had shouldered his backpack, hefting his bin bags of gifts out of the boot before closing it and circling around the car again. He abandoned the presents on the pavement to lean back into the car, holding onto the door frame with one hand.
"Open it when you get to th' rental place, an' tell me what you fink, yeah?"
Murdoc decided that he could ignore his religious sensibilities for a minute. He nodded, before winking and pursing his lips for a moment in a quick air-kiss. It would have to do, and 2D seemed to appreciate it, his excited expression softening just a little. "Have fun, and remember— those crane machines are rigged. Don't waste your time on 'em. Love you."
"Love you too… An' I'll do my best."