Archive of Our Own

Whether it's a simple walk in the park, a picnic or an amusement park - Xavier loves taking you out for activities.

"All I want is to enjoy my free time, which happens to only be possible when I'm with you."

He was true to his word in a sense. His intentions were always clearly communicated and shown, and along with this sincere confession, it didn't leave you with any room to doubt him.

But you both knew that you were getting closer and closer to that edge of your friendship, pushing the boundaries into territory that lays before you, still uncharted. You weren't solely coworkers, or friends, or neighbors - no, you were something more. Something undefined. Something exciting.

The particular closeness you had grown into allowed you to see Xavier's behavior from a rather different angle. His light touches here and there suddenly weren't as innocent as you had deemed them to be. They turned into something more, as you would catch him trying to map out the most sensitive spots on your body rather often, only satisfied when he garnered a reaction from your side.

Not that you were able to call him out on it. See, Xavier was clever about it, hiding those actions in plain sight. Easily overlooked and excused by innocence, but guilty nonetheless.

Today, however, he was a different beast entirely.

Never before had you felt him this close to you, his warm breaths exhaled against the back of your neck as you tried your hardest to focus on the arcade machines in front of you. Your hands busied themselves on the buttons and joystick, but with every movement of your body, you would feel Xavier's body bump against your own, your proximity to him almost dizzying.

His touches only became more obvious as time went on. His fingers would dig below the hem of your shirt, brushing his knuckles against your skin, subtly and light. Almost as if he were prepared to be called out on it.

The clear betrayal of his intentions were eventually revealed when you turned your head, only to notice the open-mouthed expression that had been plastered onto his face, several shades of pink dusting his cheeks and ears.

Your heart skipped a beat upon the sight, quickly diverting your eyes back onto the claw-machine. The arcade game made a loud, angry buzzer noise, signaling your loss, but all you could focus on were Xavier's fingers as they drew smooth patterns against the skin on your waist.

"Don't worry, the next one is yours." His sultry words of encouragement would be whispered into your ear as you'd lose over and over again, secretly stealing glances at him from the reflection in the machine's window. "Keep your eyes on your prize."

No matter how much you tried to distract yourself, everything seemed to relate back to him. His touch, his voice, his scent. All of it was too much for you to digest, yet you already found yourself craving for more.

"I... think I should go home."

"Right." With a painful bite into your bottom lip, you prevent yourself from showing your upset. Your eyes dart around the plain hallway of your apartment complex, the chipped paint and concrete floor suddenly rather appealing to look at as embarrassment surges through your body. With your front door still in hand, you can feel your knuckles straining under the tension. "...Well, I hope we can do something fun again sometime, at least? Maybe?"

You're not sure whether Xavier noticed the shakiness of your voice. If he did, then he actively chose not to comment on it.

"We will. I'll see you soon."

Your eyes carefully dart back onto his face, trying to gauge the meaning behind his words. There is obvious conflict hidden behind his apologetic expression, but you refused to call him out on it, too mixed up in your emotions to confidently trust your own judgement.

With a reassuring smile, Xavier steps back into the hallway and walks away.

The door feels heavy in your hand when you push it closed, your knees weak and wobbly underneath your own weight. You let out a sigh, leaning against the door before slumping down against it. With the hem of your shirt between your fingers, you absentmindedly begin to fiddle with the fabric, similarly to how Xavier had done not too long before. The presence of his lips against your ear is one you're unable to forget, the feeling lingering and manifesting itself into this ball of liquid heat in your lower abdomen. Even on your waist, you're still able to feel how his knuckles would graze against the skin, and the patterns he would trace.

Your head droops down to look at your shirt... and that's when it hits you.

Vanilla, cocoa and fruit-accord. A smell so distinctly his that your body reacts to it in some sort of Pavlovian response, slick dripping into your underwear as you bury your nose into your clothes. His scent still clings to you so unmistakably - a cruel reminder of how tightly he had pressed himself against you only an hour earlier.

Fuck, you were really losing it.

Before you know it, you find yourself climbing onto your bed, the wetness that sticks to your underwear now both warm and cold to the touch, as you can't help but to rub your thighs together in agony.

He had been driving you to the brink of madness all day, every single one of his touches getting you closer and closer to your limit, only to disappear; to leave you standing in your doorway, unable to even form a proper response.

The moment you drag the tips of your fingers over your bare thigh is when you realize how utterly gone you are. A sharp inhale is sucked between your lips as your thumb grazes over the wetness that dampens your underwear. Quickly - and ahead of time - you put an end to the noise, your teeth digging harshly into your bottom lip to stifle the groans that threatened to escape you.

To be this desperate, and to yearn for one's touch like this, is something unfamiliar to you. It's nothing short from torturous, you decide, to think about all what could've been.

It's embarrassing how undone you are at the mere thought of him. Your fingers slide past the fabrics of your skirt, pushing aside the fabric of your underwear, only to meet the wetness that has gathered between your folds, allowing you to glide through them with ease. The embarrassment that settles within your chest expands even further through your limbs when you feel the slick wetting your thighs.

Perhaps humiliation would be the better term, but you can't bring yourself to care anymore. Not when all you can think about is how easily you're allowing yourself to succumb to the waves of arousal that crash through your body, again and again.

Oh, how you wish Xavier would’ve taken responsibility for his actions.

Your walls are clenching uselessly around nothing, your body begging you to be touched and devoured. His presence alone would be enough for you to unravel entirely, you simply know it.

If only he were here.

Would he watch you pleasure yourself, only for you to be unable to cum on your own fingers alone? Would he have you begging for his touch, before making you finish over and over again, until tears stained your sheets? Or would he hold back, his touch leaving you the second you got close to your orgasm, only to repeat this cycle until you absolutely couldn't take it anymore?

An obscene moan slips from your lips, unable to be held back any longer.

You should heed this steady feeling of desire; escape the firm grasp it has on your body, yet you can't bring yourself to think, let alone act. The feeling builds and builds, and you become aware of every tingle and every twitch in your muscles. Your head is dizzy with the sensation of it all. 

Everything within you is so ready to indulge, to relent to this addicting pleasure - so susceptible and welcoming to the craving for more.

When your back arches off your bed, you begin to feel the oh-so familiar tingle of your approaching orgasm, causing long, drawn-out moans to echo around in your room. Your slick-coated fingers draw circles over your most sensitive areas, rubbing and massaging between your folds deliberately.

"Hngh- ah, Xavier...!" His name rolls off your tongue like honey, weighted and sweet.

A sense of euphoria washes over you, the building pressure in your abdomen only fueled further as you imagine Xavier fucking his fingers into you. They're thicker than your own - longer as well - and you feel yourself losing perspective entirely.

So close now.

Far beyond the depths of your fantasies, you hear a noise, but with the taste of victory already on your tongue, you decide to pay it no mind. Your whines and cries intensify as your body shudders with anticipated need, so close to your goal that it actually hurts.

But then, you hear this sound again.

And again.

And again.

There's something - or rather someone - calling out to you, repeating your name over and over.

Another string of words follow suit, and it's only then that you come crashing back down to reality. "...-re you okay? Stay there, don't move!" With your eyes strained on your balcony door, slightly ajar, you're able to hear the familiar voice loud and clear. The previously pleasant breeze now has your blood running cold within an instant.

"I will be with you soon, I promise!" The taps of audible footsteps sound somewhere above you, until those, along with the voice, disappear from your hearing.

Then... silence.

Something so quiet that it's almost deafening. Questions of why, how long, who? all race through your mind at record-speed, yet none of the answers are able to provide you with the comfort that you are looking for.

The mattress dips below your weight as you jump off the bed, your legs wobbling underneath you as you go to straighten out your skirt. You manage to keep your balance, but before you can even make your way over towards your front door, you notice your reflection on the mirror that hangs on your wall.

Your cheeks are flushed with the brightest of reds and pinks, your hair tangled and unkempt, with makeup staining around the creases of your eyes.

Hurriedly, you wipe the beads of sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand. Any excess makeup-stains are wiped away with the tips of your fingers, and when you look back at your reflection, you give yourself a small nod.

It will have to do for now, because the moment you open the door to your living room...

...Beep, beep. The humming sound of the bio-metrics at your front door alert you to the fact that your time has officially run out.

Your door opens, and quickly follows the silver-haired man, who almost comes tumbling into your home. The movements are too quick, too impractical and almost uncharacteristically clumsy, but Xavier doesn't seem to mind as he looks around the room frantically, clearly searching for something.

When his eyes lock onto your own, he hurriedly kicks the door shut and begins to make his way over towards you. "Hey, why did you move?" His voice is contemplative and soft, but despite this effort to mask his concerns, you can still hear the worry dripping from each word he utters. "You shouldn't have-, no, are you okay? Will you let me look at-?"

"Xavier," you carefully interject, preventing him from asking any more questions. Your heart thrums loudly within your chest, and you can only hope that he is unable to hear it. "I'm alright. See?"

He looks you up and down, confirming the truthfulness of your statement. Still, worry edges onto his features. "You... I thought I heard you calling out my name," Xavier reaches for you absentmindedly, only to catch himself. His hand drops down by his side, where he balls it into a fist. "I was afraid you had hurt yourself, somehow."

Something must've shown on your face for the briefest of moments, because he continues.

"...What happened?"

The jack-hammering of your heart has got your whole body shaking like a leaf. You can't stand yourself right how.

Feelings of disgust and shame surge through your chest. 

How are you ever going to explain the despicable behavior that took place in your bedroom, only mere minutes ago? That you were about to cum with his name on your lips?

A loaded silence fills the vacant spaces of your apartment. Similarly to heavy fog, it clouds your vision and has you struggling to breathe - but you know that this is no one's fault but your own. Xavier only watches you as you choke on this thick void of solitude, and you pray that he doesn't see the panic that overtakes you.

Your fingers clutch at the fabric on top of your chest, bunching it up and squeezing it thoroughly as if to physically calm your own heart.

"Xavier, I-" You let out a breath, noticeably shaky. There's only the hope that he will be able to forgive you, and the gut-wrenching fear that he won't. "I'm so sorry; I didn't know what else to do. I just..."

He looks at you curiously, his head tilted as he takes a step towards you. "You don't have to be brave all by yourself. I'm right here. Go ahead, tell me what happened."

You try your hardest to avoid his inquisitive gaze, plucking at the edges of your nails nervously. The longer you stay quiet, the faster your courage to confess is beginning to dissipate.

"I... wanted you. You left me feeling like this, and I didn't know what else to do."

Xavier takes another step towards you, causing you to take a step backwards in retaliation. The bedroom door presses against your shoulders and back, the coldness that lingers on the wood seeping through your clothes.

"Like this? What does that mean?"

He looks even bigger like this, much more intimidating, but his actions tell a whole other story. He catches the wobble in your legs, pushing his knee between your thighs to kindly stabilize you even with your close proximity, and allows you to brace your hands on his chest without uttering a single complaint - even with your previous implication. The warmth that radiates of Xavier's body atones for the coldness on your back, especially when you can feel the rhythmic thump of his heartbeat below the tips of your fingers; fast, decisive.

"I think you already know."

The urge to sway back and forth ever so slightly stays present on your mind. You can feel yourself throbbing against his thigh, and your bottom lip is quickly sucked between your teeth, biting down on it harshly to prevent yourself from taking advantage of this situation. After all, there's still a conversation that needs to be had.

Inconspicuous emotions brim in his eyes, but you see them. Hues of blue shine with a distinct intensity; something so strong that it makes it impossible for you to read into them any further. You're blinded by the vicious zeal; addicted to the fervency. The walls you've built are crumbling down as you speak, too caught up in your yearning to notice the frustration that is starting to build within the other.

Xavier is still rather dissatisfied with your answer.

His thumb gently tugs at your bottom lip, holding onto your chin and jaw with a surprising amount of strength. Despite your efforts to readjust your gaze - to look anywhere other than at him - you find yourself unable to, relenting your answers without any more difficulties.

"I didn't mean for you to overhear, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself. When you left, do you know how much I was aching for you?" Anger and frustration seep into your voice, your emotions unable to be hidden when he is around. "Fucking hell, Xavier, why did you get me this pent up just to leave?"

Now, all of his attention is fixated onto you.

Xavier leans in closer, and you forcibly swallow the whine that threatened to escape you upon the feeling of his thigh pressing between your legs even harder. His eyes roam your entire body once more, observing how your body language fluctuates in quick successions; your frustration turning into anger, anger burning into shame, followed by the shame that molds itself into restlessness.

He is the sole witness to your bared emotions, and the vulnerability that comes along with them.

"You're shaking." Xavier presses his hand on top of yours, interlacing his fingers with your own. His lips graze against your earlobe as he slowly whispers into your ear. "Are you... nervous?"

The hitch in your breath rings loud in his ear, despite your efforts to hide it.

"Isn't a hunter unafraid of a little danger? The closer you are, the more sensitive you become." Xavier presses his lips to the pulse-point below your ear, right next to your jawline. The touch is feather-light, yet you melt into it almost immediately, crude instincts gnawing at your core until you're left feeling raw and barren. "Can you feel it?"

His tongue flicks over your skin, tasting the saltiness, before sucking a mark to the crook of your neck. You breathe out a sigh of contentment, your fingers busying themselves within the locks of his hair. Finally.

"I'm not scared of you, hah, so keep going and don't hold back."

A warm chuckle rumbles against the column of your throat, his patience with you still intact. "Are you sure?"

His last warning.

You pull his face up towards your own, and now it's your turn to flit your gaze back and forth between his eyes and his lips. "Xavier..." What was supposed to be a stern warning, now much more similar to a whine than anything else. "Just kiss me already."

Your lips crash together, feverish and fast, both of you consumed by the sensation of one another. Those previously hidden feelings of yearning and frustration, the vulnerabilities and the blatant affection - everything that built up to this exact moment, merging into this effervescence of excitement that finally allows you to simply be.

Every one of your actions is filled with those previously concealed desired, and you can sense it in the way Xavier kisses you. He licks into your mouth as if to taste you, tease you and devour you all at once. It's overwhelming, your moans falling from your parted lips before you can attempt to stop them, but Xavier thrives on feeling you like this against his own body. He swallows your noises with ease, his hands all over your body.

With a twist of your wrist, you manage to open up the door behind you. The man holds you by your waist tightly - preventing you from falling - unable to stop kissing you for even a moment as you both stumble into your bedroom.

"Did you..." He pulls you on top of him as you both climb onto the bed. "Fuck, did you finish...? Before?"

"No! No..." Whimpers and groans echo throughout the room, and you barely recognize them as your own, cheeks burning in embarrassment. You never expected yourself to become this sensitive to his touch. "I would never... I stopped the moment I realized that you could hear me."

Xavier's teeth rake over your skin, forcing out a shudder. "Why?" His voice remains soft-spoken, keeping up this mask of innocence, when in reality, you know that it's nothing but façade. "You already moaned out my name... Does my attention to you really change things? Or were you hoping that I would come down here to help? Kind of like... this?"

The man's teasing edges on the border of bullying, but it's not like you mind, especially when the tips of his fingers dip underneath your shirt, sliding down your stomach, while he bites and kisses the skin on your neck and collarbones without mercy.

"Your body already seems to answer for you." He says when you let out a strangled moan. You don't seem to remember where your body ends and his begins, as Xavier tries his hardest to cover your body with his marks and kisses. "I would still like for you to tell me yourself, though. Could you do that for me, princess? Use your words."

His hand rests on your lower abdomen, right above where you crave him oh-so badly. The pause feels like absolute agony, making you quickly succumb to your desires.

"Yes... I need you, keep going..."

Shades of pink dust his cheeks, signaling that you're not the only one affected by his endless bullying. With a cautious smile plastered onto his face, Xavier begins to unbutton your skirt. His gorgeously blue eyes stare up at you to savor your reactions, attempting to feign ignorance to your inner turmoil, while thriving on how much control you've allowed him to take.

The lazy drag of his fingers across your stomach have you writhing underneath him, only slowing him down even further.

"No, please. Just... hurry up and help me already."

"Hm? I'm not sure I understand. Am I not helping you?"

The lilt in his voice sets you off, and with your hands on the collar of his hoodie, you hoist him up angrily. Defiance turns to compliance rather quickly when you notice the hungry look in his expression. He wants this just as badly as you do, you realize, yet he seems to hold off on giving you what you want. Is he getting off on your desperation; your craving for his touch?

Two can play at that game.

Rather than waiting on him to take action, you decide that it's now your turn to take the reins. You pull him closer, leaning down to press your lips against his. Your hips grind down into his lap as your teeth and tongue tease against his lips, biting and licking, until both of you are left breathless.

Your warm breath fans out over his swollen lips, and you swear that you can hear him whimper at the loss of contact once you finally let go of him.

"Xavier..." Your fingers dig into the fabric of his hoodie. A metallic taste fills your mouth, familiar yet unimportant, as you bite down onto your lip once more. The movement of your hips has you aching, your underwear undoubtedly drenched - but it's not enough. "So close, need just a little more... Xavier, I need your help. Please, Xavi-"

Your whines are abruptly silenced by the moan Xavier lets out as he bucks up into you, his hands gripping onto your waist firmly enough to be considered a warning in itself.

"Don't say my name like that." His jaw visibly tightens, the fight with himself to remain in control one that he's losing miserably. "You have no idea what I want to do to you when you call out to me that sweetly. I'm trying to hold back--"

"Well, don't."

The fabric of his pants feel wet against your thighs. You're practically leaking at this point, arching your back into his lap a few more times, unable to find the right angle.

The remaining thread of Xavier's patience is so close to snapping. Just a little more, and...

"I already told you to s-stop holding back, so please... I'm so close, Xavier, only a bit more. Xavier, Xavi- ah, please!"

...That's all it takes.

The shatter of his restraint is practically audible when he lifts you up in his arms, before setting you down into his lap again, this time aiming perfectly at your sweet-spot. You cry out, finally feeling how desperately he's been trying to hold himself back, his erection evident even through the thick fabric. You can feel how hard he is, instinctively grinding against it just to let your head fall onto his shoulder with a shudder.

Xavier holds onto your waist even more firmly now, fingers digging into your skin in a way that is almost sure to bruise. The kisses he presses and sucks against the skin on your neck are ruthless, loud sobs leaving your lips as he pulls on the hem of your shirt.

"Off." He instructs, his panting tickling against your skin. "Take everything off."

Your breaths are short and ragged as you obey his command, taking off your clothes faster than you ever have before. It's almost a competition, the way both of you scramble to get undressed as quickly as possible.

Xavier's eyes linger on your body as you move to take off your underwear, admiring the sight before him for as long as he can, before his hands are back on you again.

Completely enamored by your bared body, he guides you back on top of him. "Pretty," he whispers against your skin, pressing kisses and sucking marks to the swell of your breasts. "So beautiful."

His lips move down your chest, sucking marks against your sternum and lowering himself against the bed. As his kisses descend down your stomach, further and further, you can feel your abdomen tingling in excitement. Xavier knows exactly what it is that you need, pulling you apart at your seams with each one of his touches.

All you can do is wait, try to anticipate his next move, and follow along to the pleasure that ripples through your body. He has rendered you utterly pliant underneath his touch, and he knows it.

Xavier stops moving, patiently guiding you to sit on top of his chest. Even with his face now between your legs, his eyes manage to find your own. One of your hands grabs onto the headboard in order to stabilize yourself, your body rising and falling along to his labored breaths.

"Is this okay?" He presses a few amount of kisses to the insides of your thighs, tirelessly waiting on your verbal consent.

"Yes!'' You gasp, his mouth so close to where you need it. "I need..."

"I know. Just lean back, and let me do the work."

You hesitantly shift your hips, lifting your weight off his chest. Worry begins to cloud your mind, but as if to prove the promise he has made you, Xavier leans up, licking a clean stripe over your folds. His tongue is slow and thorough, teasing the edges of your labia with calculated precision, before he lowers his head back down.

"I can take it. Sit."

The shared warmth between the both of you has you feeling intoxicated; drunk on merely the thought of him. Desperation and hunger gnaw at your core, and the moment that you press your hips forward, a wanton moan can be heard, ringing loudly in your ears. You don't care enough to find out whether it was you or Xavier. His touch feels like a drug, his tongue lapping up the wetness that clings to your lips, every single one of his gestures an unspoken act of worship. 

"So sensitive..." Xavier coos at you, before devouring your cunt in one smooth motion.

It’s like his tongue knows exactly how to work you; licking at your clit ever so gently, before sucking it into his mouth. Not an ounce of mercy can be found within his actions, finally relenting and giving into the desire to have you. His eyebrows are knit together, his moans muffled between your thighs, and the unadulterated lust that courses through his body only continues to be fueled by your reactions.

He eats you out like he's the one deriving all the pleasure from it, the vibrations from his groans making you see stars. Your legs try to close on themselves, but with Xavier’s head in between, you only manage to pull him in even closer. 

"Oh, fuck! Yes, Xavier, that feels so good...!"

Piercing eyes try to remain locked on yours as he licks and sucks against your cunt, his goal to find your most sensitive spots and have you twitching with pleasure. The wet slurping noises of his mouth would've be humiliating to you before, but now, any sense of shame that was still left in your body has been overridden entirely by the craving for his touch.

He has completely consumed your entire being. You want him to ruin you; for you to be unable to touch yourself without thinking about him.

"You make me feel so... Ngh, Xavier!" Your throat feels raw from how much you've been crying out, but you refuse to quiet yourself down when you know how much he enjoys listening to you call out to him.

Even though his face remains stoic, from the corner of your eye, you spot how Xavier's cock twitches with interest every time you call out his name - his satisfaction too great to hide.

You’re almost certain that he would spend the rest of his life between your legs if he could.

"I can still talk," Xavier mutters against your clit, and you almost scream. Tears begin to prick into your eyes as you can feel your building orgasm ebb from your grasp once more, his mouth no longer working you in the way that you need. "Stop hoovering and *sit*."

His hands press down on your thighs, and with your energy already spent, you can't help but to give in. He pulls you onto his face, your Concerned, you look down, only to see the mess that he has become underneath you. His hair is splayed across your sheets, his forehead beading with sweat, and his bleary eyes looking up at you entirely pussy-drunk.

"T-Tap twice if you need me to get off, hngh, alright?"

An unanticipated urge wrecks through your body, manifesting in your very own hands. They're too cold, too empty. You let go of the headboard and arch your back, before leaning backwards with your upper body to find solace from your craving by holding onto Xavier's chest.

Here, with your fingers splayed over his shoulders, you can feel the pattern of his breathing, and you slowly feel your mind being put at ease.

Xavier, meanwhile, doesn't bother to heed your warning. His tongue flicks against your cunt impatiently, too busy pressing kisses between your folds - his mind already made up. With you fully seated on his face, you're able to feel it *all*. His nose nudging against the hood of your clit and the prodding of the tip of his tongue around your hole; your nerve-endings set alight with every touch and sigh he breathes onto your skin.

It's dizzying in the most delicious way possible.

The ambrosial in the room has shifted. A smell previously flowery and delicate, morphing into something more pungent, something sweaty. It's honeyed and sweet and salty, the pheromones within your arousal adding onto the fragrance that enthralls Xavier to take a deep breath, before plunging his tongue right into you, bullying your already throbbing walls.

Pleasure clouds your thoughts entirely, allowing you to let go of your concerns and to give into the feeling of pure pleasure. Your hips move back and forth, having gained a mind of their own, chasing that high you have been denied twice already.

Slowly, you feel how Xavier's fingers spread out over your rib-cage, climbing their way up over the swell of your breasts. This man reads you like a book, flipping through your pages and reading into every single one of your words.

When you try to speak - choking on your words - it's like music to his ears. 

“Xavi- Xavier, I’m so fucking close! I’m g-gonna...!”

The coil within your gut snaps, and your orgasm slams into you like static electricity. The muscles in your legs tighten, your bridges of your feet digging into the mattress in an attempt to keep your thighs from tightening around Xavier's head.

He kneads into your flesh, thumbing over your nipples, at the same time that his groans vibrate against your core.

With every touch and moan, Xavier encourages you to succumb to the stars that have begun to fill your field of vision. Those small orbs twirl around in front of your eyes, clustering together and intertwining with one another, until each and every one is part of their predetermined constellations.

You try to push yourself off him, yet you find that his firm grasp on your waist refuses to let you. Xavier stubbornly nuzzles his nose deeper between your folds, his tongue somehow reaching even deeper than before. It's vast, quick, and thorough, and you can't help the symphony of noises that lewdly fall from your lips.

Even when he flattens his tongue against your cunt, guzzling on your liquid heat with a seemingly calculated timing, he doesn't seem entirely unaffected.

Xavier moans loudly, causing a tingle to make it's way into your chest.

Rather than it fading out like you're used to, this tingle insists on becoming bigger, taking over control of your body until even Xavier's eyes widen in surprise, and the lights within the room start to flicker in quick succession. Pleasurable contortions ripple through your body, and your back arches further into his mouth on instinct.

Serendipitously, both of your evols had been activated by the sheer pandemonium of your emotions, leaving both of you even more sensitive than ever before. Xavier - clearly affected - is yet to stop his motions. The waterline in his eyes are blurred with tears, but he keeps insisting, keeps taking in more of your wetness as he pushes his head up despite the weight on his face.

You chant out his name like he's the answer to all of your prayers, letting yourself fully resonate with him, until the lights in your room begin to burn brighter than you have ever seen before, forcing you to shut your eyes.

All you can do is take. Take the pleasures that Xavier offers to you so graciously, take the bullying of his nose and tongue, take in his evol and nurture it like it's your own.

Below you, Xavier turns even more vocal than before, his sweet whimpers getting muffled between your thighs. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment - tears rolling down his temples as a result.

Bright lights flare before you for only a second, when suddenly, the both of you are plunged into nothing but darkness.

Another orgasm slams into you.

Xavier absolutely devours you, milking it for all it’s worth, not caring about the darkness that now enshrouds the room. Your moans blend together like a beautiful choir, mellowing out over the course of minutes as the both of you try to catch your breaths.

You go to reach behind you, to offer him even a fraction of the relief you just felt, but Xavier is quick to catch you by your wrist. Slightly disappointed, your gaze lands on his face again. 

The moon outside your window lights up the room, and you can only admire how beautifully she illuminates and captures Xavier's features.

"Xavier," You breathe out, the tip of your fingers brushing over his eyebrow as you go to thumb away the fallen tears. His furrowed brows are adorned by those big, bright eyes and the fondness that lies within them. It extends so deeply that you might drown, should you try to explore this emotion of his any further. "I love..."

A lump in your throat forces you to pause, humiliating and sharp. You swallow thickly, alleviating yourself of this pressure and the truth you were about to speak into existence, while quite literally having to remind yourself on how to breathe.

Besides your panting, there's nothing except silence. No noise, no movement, until...

Two taps, right against your thigh.

Instantly, you lift your hips. You're almost panicked, too lost in your pleasure to notice the strain you've put Xavier under - but then, his arms wrap around your waist, reassuring and calm. Without a word, he guides you back onto the bed, gently sitting you down on top of the warm sheets.

The man reaches over the bed, grabbing onto his hoodie and putting into his lap. Noticing the worry edged onto your features, he reaches out. The silent invitation is enough for you to rid yourself of this sense of dread, and you shift your hips to seat yourself onto his lap once more. 

The warmth his body radiates relieves any remaining tension you might've felt, and with your body unwinding, you find that exhaustion is beginning to settle over you like a heavy blanket. His fingers find their way into the hair on the back of your head, where he considerately massages the skin on your scalp, as lazy kisses are gently being peppered across your shoulders. 

When Xavier cradles you close to his chest, you can't help but to fully sink into his touch.

"Thank you."

The words were quiet, almost faint enough for you to miss them, but all of your senses have already attuned themselves to Xavier's presence. You couldn't have missed them even if you had wanted to.

"...What are you thanking me for? If anything, I should be the one thanking you." You press your lips against the freckle on his neck, a sudden feeling of adoration coursing through you. 

"For giving me a day worth remembering." With his mouth, Xavier nudges your head to the side, peppering kisses to the same spot on your neck as where you just kissed him. They're slow and timid, like what he's about to say next might shatter the oasis of solitude that you have created together, carefully testing out the waters and seeing how far you will allow him to go. 

"But more importantly... For letting me love you so selfishly; even if it's just this once."

You push him back far enough to look him in his eyes. Finally, you're able to see his entire face again, noticing the flustered expression that paints his cheekbones with a delightfully saturated pink. "You...? Then, why wouldn't you let me touch you?"

"You don't know what you looked like in that moment, but I do." Xavier cups your jawline and lowers his head, showing the sincerity that is carried within his words. "I saw you. Your beauty is ethereal; unmatched by even the brightest of stars. Sirius thrives to one day shine as brightly as you do."

Your heart aches underneath the weight of his kind words. "Xavier..."

He notices the hesitation and guilt in your voice, taking ahold of your hand and bringing your fingers to his lips. Soft lips press kisses to each individual finger. "You don't have to return my affection, nor my reassurance. You're worth my time and patience, again and again."

Unable to correct him through verbal means, you take your fingers from his hand, trailing the tip of your index finger down his chest. "Then... will you allow me to return your touch? Let me help you feel good?"

It seems like he finally understands that you won't give up that easily. Sheepishly, he looks off to the side, taking ahold of your wrist once more as he mutters something underneath his breath.

"You shouldn't... it's dirty."

"Xavier!" Your hand connects lightly on his pectoral muscle, diffusing the offended tone in your voice. You look at him in disbelief, crashing back down into his lap. "How is me touching you dirty? You just touched my entire body... with your mouth, nonetheless. Are you trying to say something?"

"No," Xavier's eyes widen, his messy hair moving along to the shaking of his head. "I just mean that... I don't want you to have to clean up as well. This way, you can get some rest while I go grab a towel to clean myself off."

"Please, Xavier... It's really sweet of you, but I want to help you. I promise that I'll make it worth your time - you even said so yourself! Please, don't you want to cum as well?"

"...I already did."

Oh.

"You...?" Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. "When did you...? Wait, hang on, you- untouched?"

The poor man apologizes over and over again, holding onto your wrists as if you'd disappear if he didn't. "I had no control over it; your moans, your scent... your taste. I must've lost my mind, I'm sorry." His eyes dart around your face, no longer maintaining eye-contact with you, as the pink glow on his cheeks only further intensifies. "I'm so sorr-"

Quietly, you press your lips against his.

Your kiss is soft, barely there, yet it manages to keep Xavier still effortlessly. He breathes in through his nose, grounding himself again in the feeling of you.

"It's alright." Your foreheads press together tenderly, the affection in your whisper as clear as the night sky. "I'm grateful for your consideration, and I'm happy that you got so worked up over my pleasure... but you're not dirty, Xavier. If anything, this might be the hottest thing you've--"

Now it's his turn to cut you off with a kiss.

A moment like this feel serene - almost unreal. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, holding him close as the two of you switch positions, Xavier now on top of you. Chaste kisses are pressed to your lips as you feel him pull at the covers underneath you.

"Don't say things like that..." His eyes dart away from you, seemingly rather embarrassed, and you can't help the smile that settles onto your features.

"I'll keep it in mind for next time, just saying..." 

He pulls the covers over your body, caressing your cheek with the back of his fingers. The blinking of your eyes slow down, the battle to stay awake now a fight you're on the verge of losing.

"Tired?" Xavier kisses your forehead, before climbing out of the bed and stepping away. "Don't fight your it, I'll be here when you wake up. I'm only going to clean myself up and then I'll join you in the land of dreams."

With a deep breath, you snuggle into the blanket to make yourself comfortable.

The night feels cold now that you're left all on your own, but it doesn't take Xavier long to reenter your bed, pulling you into his strong arms to cradle you close. You're barely conscious, but through heavy-lidded eyes, you press a soft kiss to the freckle on his neck. "Xavier...?"

"Still awake? I'm here, so you can close your eyes now."

Xavier holds you as if you're the one responsible for hanging the stars in the night sky, both tender and warm. His slowing heartbeat drums in your ears, as time continues to pass, and you realize that you haven't felt this beloved in a very long time.

Exhaustion washes over you, your limbs now heavy and weak. For once, you're able to let yourself drift off peacefully. "Thank you... for everything."

"Shh, just go to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow." He holds you just a little tighter, his fingers combing through your hair. It's comfortable and easy to be with Xavier like this - almost like you've never known anything different.

Faint, quiet words are spoken somewhere close to you, but with your consciousness already on the verge of slipping from your grasp, you recognize them a little too late, falling asleep in his arms.

"...I love you too, my starlight. Sleep well..."