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Kris is cold under her hooves. More then usual; even when they normally run a chill. Covered in her own throw up and sweat, with icicles coating her fur, she just- lets her mind wander.
December 12- it's winter, and she's young. A kid. Her breath fogs in front of her face as she pulls her scarf tighter, gasping at the orange and reds of the trees. Kris and Dess run ahead into the woods, while Asriel holds her hand in his big furred one, laughing as Dess skids across the leaves.
"Cmon- the lakes over here somewhere."
Asriel just sighs, walking with her as the other two disappear into the woods. The lake comes into view fast enough; and it's gorgeous- the ice shines with the setting sun, and Dess smirks before beginning to tie up her skates.
She thinks they spend the rest of the day there. Kris and Dess glide like dancers on the ice, the blades on their feet making them weightless. By the time it's turned proper night, Asriel's set up a makeshift fire with his Boy-Scout's training, and she's…
Okay, she didn't know what she was thinking but she walked out onto the frozen lake. She- she doesn't remember why, all those years later. Just that she did it.
She's standing on the ice when it cracks. She didn't- she didn't think itd break when she walked out, but…it splinters under the pressure of her hooves, and before she knows it she's frozen still, not even twitching to move because it'll break or-
Her brain tells her she's doing that deer thing again. Freezing in headlights- where she can't move because she's too scared. With her vision going fuzzy at the edges, she swears the only thing she can hear is the beating of her own heart.
…The moment Kris reaches her is when the ice gives up. Their hands pull her back intot he world and bring warmth into her skin and then- crack!
She doesn't remember actually getting stuck under the ice. She tells herself she swims or something, but that's…wrong. Floating is a weird feeling, and she sees snowflakes drift past her snout, mixing with foamy white bubbles before-
Someone touches her. She knows that much- and she knows her spine wakes up and sends fire through ber body and she's fighting and thrashing- the water stings her eyes and-
The next moment, she's hacking up water as her hands meet ice. Someone's yelling and shaking her- before her vision clears. Kris, above her with fear on their face and red, sticky liquid dripping down their forehead.
Noelle has one second to catch up before they stumble back and fall back on the ice. She doesn't remember what happens next, only that she started screaming. For Dess and Asriel and whoever can hear her-
"Azzy- Azzy they're blue-" Her tiny voice cracks, rough, as Dess wraps her in her jacket. He doesn't look at her, just continues doing the chest thing. Kris' lips stay tinted blue and their fingers don't move. She's seen them play piano- but they look like they can't do anything right now, bruised and not- not moving.
She did that, she realises. She kicked them- because instinct kicked in and took over for her. And now blood pools under them, softly and in dribbles. The time passes like she's been sped up- Asriel dragging Kris through town, wrapped in all their layers as his hoodie gets wet with red and soaked with lake water.
The hospital is frantic when they burst through the doors, nothing ever happens in the town, and by the time she's calmed down, she's sitting in the hospital room. Someone pokes and prods at her, running their fingers through her matted coat before they say some things to Mom and Dad- she's fine, she says. She has fur- but Kris doesn't. The doctor gives her a sad look before giving her a lollipop.
At the end, Dess sits with her in the lobby. The clock ticks until midnight, and then, after what feels like forever, Asriel and Toriel walks out, a air of exhaustion around them. Kris is around Toriel's neck, wrapped tightly in a blanket. When she runs up to them, she can see where her hooves left marks and bruises and gashes. Their head, their shoulders, and some poking out from under their sweater. Their mom hushes her as she begins to list of questions and she just says-
"They just need to sleep, okay? You can see them tomorrow." It's in the same voice she has when explaining some math question, gentle. The next day, everything goes back to normal. Kris doesn't come to school for a bit, and their mother has the class write choppy get well soon! cards to pile on her desk.
She coughs herself back into reality. The air smells like sickness, and she tastes sugar in the back of her throat. This is different. This is different- she's gotten stronger since then, right? Kris doesn't need to save her anymore.
…throw up bubbles in the back of her throat again, and she stumbles off to the side to let it out. With her hooves against the tree, she can see where their blood is staining her fur- contrasting her white gown like she's in one of those old horror films.
Kris is dead. She's getting around to accepting this, that the frostbite stopped their blood from traveling up their carotid artery and stopped the flow to their brain. Charts from biology class flash in her mind, the major veins in their thighs and wrists. Kris is dead, she's accepted that, and she killed them. Her hooves froze over with ice as she held the largest fingers tight against their Adam's apple, and they turned pale and gasping and shaking. They had one last noise- a death rattle, as the frost filled their lungs.
She throws up again at some point. She has no idea how long it's been or how she still has anything left to choke up.