Chapter Text
“This is Isle Esme,” I murmured, as our boat drew close to the short dock. When I cut the engine, there was a profound silence. Only the gentle lapping of the water against our boat could be heard. The moon loomed large in the night sky and bleached everything to an eerie white. The tropical fragrances wafting through the palms and in the air were so different from the ones at home, assaulting my senses, bringing back a flood of memories. My family had spent many a summer here enjoying our freedom from prying eyes, and drinking up the sun’s rays. I loved this place.
“Isle Esme?” Bella asked.
“It was a gift from Carlisle. Esme offered to let us borrow it."
I smiled at the memory of that day when Esme had approached me rather hesitantly about our honeymoon plans. She had asked me to take a walk with her in the woods, which was unusual, but I’d readily agreed, my curiosity piqued. We had wandered far away from the house, talking idly about inconsequential things, until we’d gotten quite a distance away. At some point in our walk, she’d turned the conversation to her initial purpose. I’d listened, awestruck, as she'd told me, in hushed tones, the touching story of how Isle Esme had came to be. And I remembered wondering at the time, how all that could have happened without any of us knowing about it. When she’d finished, I'd fallen silent, stunned by the romantic intimacy of her story and the beautiful way that things had all worked out in the end.
When she'd asked if I would like to take Bella there for our honeymoon, I hadn’t hesitated for a second. I’d told her ‘yes’ immediately. If Isle Esme could do for Bella and me what it had done for Carlisle and Esme, then it would be the perfect place for us to start our life together.
I put our suitcases on the dock and returned for my bride. She extended her hand out to me and I smiled back at her. There was no way my wife was going to walk to her honeymoon rendezvous. I bent over and effortlessly swept her up in my arms.
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to wait for the threshold?” she asked, laughing lightly.
“I’m nothing if not thorough,” I answered, grinning.
I carried our suitcases, and my blushing bride, through the low-lying island growth until we finally reached the house. When I stopped just outside the door, I could hear her heart thudding in her chest. There was no need for me to wonder what she was thinking. Her thoughts were, more than likely, the same as mine.
I put down the luggage, opened the door and carried Mrs. Cullen across the threshold and into our new home, at least for the next few weeks. I continued through the house, not bothering to turn on any lights. The moon was shining brightly through the windows, bathing the rooms in calming blue shadows. But when I reached our bedroom, I stopped inside the doorway and switched on the light, dimming the brightness until the room glowed softly.
It was decorated much like our Forks home: lot of white and beiges, and the far wall was mostly glass, just as I remembered. But what I didn’t remember was the huge bed in the middle of the floor, that big monstrosity draped with mosquito netting all around it. Holy crow! as Bella would have said. The one that used to grace this room was much smaller. Very funny, whoever you are. Esme? Alice? Emmett?? It was hard to tell whose idea it could’ve been, but at the moment I was absolutely mortified.
I gently set Bella down on her feet and searched my mind for a distraction. “I’ll…go get the luggage,” I said uncomfortably.
When I returned with the suitcases, I had somewhat recovered from the shock of the bed, but evidently Bella hadn’t. She was standing in front of it, gently fingering the mosquito netting like it was something alive that might bite back.
I walked up behind her and touched my finger lightly to a drop of perspiration on her neck. I brushed it away, inhaling the moist, tantalizing scent coming off of her skin. The room was much too warm and I loved it.
“It’s a little hot here,” I said apologetically. “I thought…that would be best.”
“Thorough,” she murmured under her breath.
I chuckled nervously at that. Thorough? Some would call it obsessive compulsive.
“I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier,” I admitted. I had spent hours during the days leading up to the wedding trying to imagine every conceivable thing that could possibly go wrong, and making a contingency plan for each one. I had finally decided that a hot room would make my body temperature more tolerable for her—her own personal air conditioner—and that the balmy tropical waters of the bay would help warm my body temperature to a comfortable, almost human, level, before we….
I sighed inwardly. Come on Edward. Time to get the ball rolling, get this show on the road, break a leg, win one for the Gipper.
I took a metaphorical deep breath and dove in head first. “I was wondering,” I said slowly, “if…first…maybe you’d like to take a midnight swim with me? The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of.”
“Sounds nice,” she said, her voice breaking nervously. I know, Bella. We’re both scared out of our minds.
“I’m sure you’d like a human minute or two. It was a long journey.” Stalling, Edward?
She nodded at my suggestion. I brushed my lips against her throat, just below her ear, thinking it might make things less awkward between us. I chuckled at that delusion. Nothing, not even the feel of her skin, could calm my nerves at that point.
“Don’t take too long, Mrs. Cullen,” I breathed into her ear. She jumped when I called her Mrs. Cullen. It did take a little getting used to, especially since I’d never thought in a million years that we’d ever make it to this point. I kissed my way down her neck to the tip of her shoulder. “I’ll wait for you in the water.”
I turned to leave the bedroom before my nerve totally deserted me. As I walked past her, I shrugged out of my shirt and dropped it on the floor. Without stopping to gauge her reaction, I slipped out through the wide French doors and into the moonlit night.
Anticipating the warmth of the water on my skin, I hurriedly shed the rest of my clothes and slung them over the branch of a palm. I waded in waist deep, savoring the heat of the water that was gently lapping against my body. Normally, I would have spent the next few hours completely submerged, swimming through the inlet, exploring every hidden crevice on the bottom, watching with wonder the teeming life on the ocean floor. Not tonight. Tonight, I was too jittery to be curious about anything except what Bella and I were about to do. Every nerve ending in my body was tingling with anticipation and anxiety. I settled for submerging myself for just a few moments, if only to try and calm my quaking nerves.
Not for the first time, I wished that I had never made this promise to Bella. I would take it back in a heartbeat if I thought she would let me. The thirst was no longer a problem for me, but the burn was always there. Its power had faded over time until it was more like “white noise” now. I was aware of it, but I really didn’t notice it unless I concentrated on it. It wasn’t the thirst that had me so anxious. What I was truly worried about was whether I would be able to contain the strength of my own body when the time came, and that thought terrified me.
I had spent countless hours planning this night. I had talked to my brothers, read countless books and even watched movies of couples passionately making love with wanton abandonment. Those I’d been forced to dismiss as utterly ridiculous. I could never approach this with such carelessness. My conclusion, after all of that, was that nothing or no one could really prepare me for this. It was something I was going to have to muddle through and experience for myself. The only thing I knew for sure was that I would have to be in total control at all times for this to have a good ending.
I gazed up into the night sky wondering, perhaps for the thousandth time, if He was really up there somewhere. Did He even pay attention to the pitiful pleas of such inconsequential beings as us? When there was so much misery in the world—starvation, war, poverty—how could I even think that my situation merited even a second of His time? I decided to err on the side of caution anyway, and ask for His help.
“Please, if you’re listening, please help me to not… hurt her,” I whispered quietly into the darkness. I waited for a moment, for what, I didn’t know. Of course, there was no answer, no quiet reassurances that everything was going to be all right. I sighed. I was on my own, and wondering what in the hell I had been thinking when I’d agreed to this.
At that very moment, from within the house, I heard her quietly whisper the words ‘Don’t be a coward’. She was scared, too. That should have made me feel a little better, but it didn’t. The pressure was all on me. I was the one who could seriously mess this up if I wasn’t careful.
Then I heard her walking slowly toward me through the powdery sand.
I can’t do this, but I want to. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
I decided to wait with my back to her. I knew she was probably walking very carefully through the water, because it seemed like an eternity before she was finally standing beside me. She reached out under the water and took my hand in hers.
“Beautiful,” she said, looking up at the moon.
“It’s all right,” I answered, unimpressed. I had seen this moon so many times in my life, and it always looked the same. But Bella? Now there was a beauty that was always new and ever-changing. I turned to face her. “But I wouldn’t use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison.”
She half-smiled at my compliment and then placed her free hand over my heart. I shivered at her warm touch; my breath quickened at the sight of her hand against my pale skin. I felt a surge of emotion so strong that it scared me.
“I promised we would try,” I whispered, my voice suddenly intense. “If….if I do something wrong, or if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.”
She nodded as she gazed steadily into my eyes. Then she stepped closer and leaned her head against my chest. I closed my eyes and sighed at the feel of her body pressed completely against mine.
“Don’t be afraid,” she murmured. “We belong together.”
“Forever,” I agreed. I gently put my arms around her and just held her. I was still stunned that she was really mine now, that forever was finally going to happen for us.
I tenderly pulled her away from me so that I could look at her. We both stood silent in the warm water of the inlet, drinking in the sight of each other’s bodies. I reached out for her hand and our fingers entwined tightly. I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers.
She softly touched my face with her free hand, and then began to lightly trace the contours of my body with her fingers, starting down the side of my neck, across my shoulder and ever so slowly down my arm. I shivered as she returned back up my arm and then moved down my chest. She brushed her fingers fleetingly over my nipples, and my body reacted. She continued her exploration down to where the water met my waist, and then hesitated. Don’t stop. But, unfortunately, she did. She dropped her hand, stood back and looked at me, waiting expectantly.
My eyes left hers and traveled slowly down her body, stopping at her breasts. They were so perfect, more beautiful in actuality than they had ever been in my pitiful imagination. I let go of her hand, and reached out to lightly trace the contours of them with my fingertips, moving in slow circles until I reached their center. She closed her eyes and moaned softly when my thumbs brushed over her nipples.
I tugged gently on her chin, and lifted her face to mine. I kissed her over and over again, whisper soft kisses. Our lips never completely separated as we gently explored each other’s mouths and murmured our love. Then I kissed my way to her neck, just below her ear. The sound of her blood rushing through her body stirred me, but not in the way I had expected. It was strangely…erotic?
“What about our swim?” I whispered as I nibbled her ear gently.
“Not interested,” she said, gasping as my tongue found the small opening of her ear. Neither was I.
I then proceeded to kiss every single inch of her face and neck. I had never been able to fully indulge myself before. Now, with no restraints, I became totally absorbed in it. There wasn’t a single place that didn’t feel the brush of my lips and tongue. Her breath was coming faster now, and it only fueled the fire growing within me.
Then, unexpectedly, her fingers were entwined in my hair, and she pulled my mouth to hers with such intensity that I never thought to fight it. I did what I’d yearned to do since the very first time our lips had touched that day in the meadow long ago. I surrendered to it completely. I let myself fall, drowning in her smell with my hands buried in her hair, exploring her mouth hungrily with my own, and moaning softly into the night as our tongues touched.
My hands were all over her now, running through her hair, cupping her breasts, tracing the lines of her back with my fingers, gently kneading her bottom beneath the water, and continuing on to the one place I hadn’t yet explored. She gasped, and whispered my name as she pulled at my hair and lightly scraped her nails down my back. Oh God…
Then she took me gently in her hand, and I groaned loudly into her mouth, begging her not to stop, and proceeding to tell her exactly what else I wanted her to do. That total control I was supposed to have at all times?? Yeah, it was gone. Completely gone.
Slow down, Edward! My mind was screaming at me to stop, but my body wasn’t listening. Somewhere, somehow I found the will to pull away. She was trembling and gasping for air as our lips parted. The last thing I wanted to do was rush this. We leaned against each other, breathing heavily, waiting patiently for the fire die down.
“Edward,” she finally whispered.
“Mmmm?” I murmured, not wanting to ruin this moment with conversation.
“I’m going to turn into a prune,” she said, laughing quietly.
A prune? What?? I chuckled at the complete absurdity of her statement at this particularly intimate moment. "What are you talking about, love?” I laughed and nuzzled my face in her hair, running my fingers down her back.
“I can’t stay in the water forever like you can. I’ll wrinkle up like a prune, and prunes are not very sexy.”
Oh, that’s right. I forgot. I pulled back so I could see her face. “Would you like to take this inside then?” I asked with a sly smile.
She smiled back, one eyebrow raised suggestively. “Oh…yes,” she whispered.