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Bridge was used to being the oddball. No one understood him. He hadn't even understood himself much back then either.
"You that much of a germaphobe you can't stand someone touching you?" A girl in his class taunted, getting in his face and jobbing at him.
A nine-year-old Bridge recoiled, quickly trying to avoid thinking about all the sudden colors and emotions he had just witnessed from that touch. He hadn't known why he was able to see those things, but he knew no one else seemed to. Or else they could tolerate it while he couldn't – which even to him seemed unlikely.
"Don't touch me." Bridge defended, hugging himself to try and regulate his feelings.
"Weirdo." The girl continued to taunt, stepping forward to no doubt poke him again.
"Don't touch me!" Bridge repeated, his voice louder and more desperate.
He looked around, hoping someone might come to help him. But, the teacher around them wasn't even paying attention. Didn't even glance his way despite how loud he had been.
The girl touched him again and Bridge collapsed, sobbing onto the ground as unwanted feeling rushed through him again. He could hear the girl laughing at him, and then the sound of her friends joining in.
...
"Momma..." Bridge peaked his head into the library in his house.
"Bridge." His mother turned from scanning a shelf and faced him, a warm smile on her face. "Do you need something, sweetheart?"
"Do you think I'm weird, momma?"
"Of course, not, dear. You're very special, but you aren't weird."
But even despite that, Bridge still felt a bit hollow inside. His parents never hugged him. Never carried him anywhere the moment he could verbalize his strange ability.
He knew they were trying to not upset him with the unwanted contact, but it hurt all the same not being able to be a normal kid like everyone else that he saw. All those kids in movies hugged their parents every day. He never got that unless he initiated and even then they'd pull away from him.
...
Bridge grew up, lonely and isolated despite appearing to be anything but that. He had a loving family. He had a good life. But yet there was a piece missing from it. A piece he wasn't allowed to find.
As he got older, he learned why he was different. Why people had colors. Why he could tell what someone was feeling or thinking.
But knowing all that didn't do much. It explained things, sure, but it didn't offer a solution. Didn't give him a way to be able to do what everyone else around him could do. Just told him he was different and to deal with it.
Push people away. Stay reclusive. Don't let anyone get close. Stay isolated. Stay on the outside.
Things Bridge had no choice but to go by. He couldn't handle normal life. He tried, but the amount of emotions around him quickly got overwhelming the moment he did. Contact was just a no go unless it was something he initiated – then possibly he might be able to tolerate it for a bit longer.
Deep relationships were something Bridge didn't even try to think about. If this was his life, there was no way he could ever get to that stage with someone. It would be too unbearable to be that close to someone so much.
...
When he joined S.P.D., things finally changed a bit. He was in a place where being normal wasn't exactly a thing.
"Cadet Carson." One of the intake officers addressed him, "These are a gift from our superiors for you. These gloves should dull your senses when you wear them, allowing you to not feel so much emotional bleed."
Bridge stared at the box for a long while before he finally took it and opened it up. Gloves of some strange type of fabric greeted him. There was definitely something weird about the gloves from those of the average type.
He put them on, and for once, the world was dull. He didn't catch the colors of everyone around him. He didn't accidently feel someone's heavy emotional aura nearby. It was just, empty. A good empty.
"Thank you, sir." Bridge smiled, a genuine smile for once in his life.
Of course, the gloves only solved so much. Even while wearing them, there was still a chance if there was too much emotional charge it would bleed through. But, that was rare. Still, he had to wear them at all times and that definitely weirded some people out.
It wasn't as bad as his childhood days, but the feeling was still there. Being an outcast. Not being welcomed because he was different. Bridge just moved on. He had closed off his own emotions a long time ago to those things.
He tried, at least, according to his aching heart.
...
A roommate was the last thing Bridge had wanted, but his pleas had fallen on deaf ears. It was hard enough dealing with everyone daily around him, but now he was supposed to share a room with someone? Someone who probably was going to think he was weird too.
"Sky Tate. Guess we're roommates now." The other cadet greeted him.
"Bridge Carson." Bridge replied, avoiding eye contact.
Sky held out a hand. Bridge tensed.
"Uh... I'd rather not." Bridge said hesitantly, preparing for the backlash to the rejected gesture. He hated meeting new people for this reason.
Sky stared at him for a moment and then lowered his hand. "Oh? Do you have a different greeting custom or something?"
Bridge returned the stare. He had never been asked that question before. It made his heart flutter for a moment. Someone actually wanted to make an effort to understand why he said no.
But the answer was probably going to drive the wedge in anyway. Most didn't like his answer.
"I um... it's just I have this weird ability that I can see people's emotions and stuff and if I touch you I'll see yours and I don't like doing that cause it overwhelms me easily so that's why I have gloves cause these gloves dull those feelings but direct contact-"
"Okay. Can we... slow down?" Sky interrupted him.
"Oh... sorry." Bridge smiled awkwardly, his mind already racing with negative thoughts. "Um... what did you get out of that?"
"You can feel emotions of others?"
"Yeah. The gloves help a lot, though. They're made of some really interesting materials that block my senses."
"Right... but if you touch someone then..."
"Sometimes it bleeds through. And I'm not the best at handling that unless I'm prepared."
"Okay. So, don't touch you without permission."
Bridge blinked. That was it? Sky was... just accepting this? That was... easy. It had never gone over this well before. Everyone took his aversion to touch as a challenge to invade his space, not respect it.
"You... don't think it's weird?" Bridge couldn't help but ask.
Sky shrugged. "No weirder than me being able to make a shield."
He demonstrated. Bridge's eyes went wide in awe.
"We both have... abilities." Bridge said quietly.
"Guess so." Sky replied.
...
It was weird. He had someone who understood him. Knew what it was like to be seen as the weird kid. Then Syndey came along and he had another person who understood him.
It still didn't solve the issue. Their abilities didn't limit them from living life like his did. Bridge tried not to be resentful, but it was hard sometimes. Seeing them interact with everyone else so casually reminded him of how isolated he was forced to be.
Bridge just smiled through it, acting casual. He didn't want them to know. His resentment had gotten him into trouble in the past. People didn't like being resented for normal actions, after all.
It was fine, all things considered. Bridge didn't mind this situation as much as the past. Even with the bitterness of not being able to do everything everyone else could, he was treated a lot better than he had ever thought possible. Less looked down on him once they knew why he was the way he was.
But, Bridge knew it was all going to have to come crashing down eventually. Happiness never seemed to stay in his reach for long.
But he really hoped it would.
...
"What are you doing?"
Bridge jolted as a hand suddenly made contact with his shoulder. Part of the skin making contact with his neck. Forcing emotions into him before he could even stop it.
"Don't touch me!" Bridge reacted immediately, recoiling at the touch and making himself as small as he could against the wall beside his bed.
There was a moment of silence before a voice spoke, quiet. "Sorry... I forgot you can't do touch..."
The apology brought Bridge out from the memories of the past. He blinked, steadying himself as he met the eyes of Sky. The other was standing beside the bed, looking at Bridge with concern.
"Are you okay?" Sky asked. "Was it bad?"
Bridge shook his head, staying curled in on himself. "I'm fine...just, startled."
"Sorry."
They fell into silence for a while. Bridge let out a sigh. He hated this. He knew it was bound to happen. Now everything he had built up with Sky was going to come crashing down.
Was there any way to salvage this before it was too late?
"You're the first one to apologize for touching me unexpectedly." Bridge spoke quietly, clearly trying to joke but it falling flat.
"What?" Sky sounded concerned at the comment. "You're saying no one has ever apologized for that?"
"Everyone else did it on purpose. To mock me for being so sensitive."
Sky took a seat on the edge of the bed, making sure to keep his distance still. "You were bullied?"
Bridge hesitantly met Sky's gaze again and nodded. "All through childhood. And I didn't know what was wrong with me back then, you know? I was just the weird kid who was clearly making things up."
"I can't imagine. I could hide this. You can't..." Sky whispered. "And no one wanted to deal with that."
"I'm fine... it's... in the past."
"The past seems to haunt you still, though."
"I'm still just getting used to being cared about. My mind doesn't like to forget how everyone treated me. It thinks that will happen again."
Sky sighed. "You've been fighting a battle we didn't know existed."
"I'm fine. Really. Sure, it's hard not being able to be normal but I'm fine." Bridge insisted. "Just sucks I can't connect with anyone closely..."
The silence droned on at that statement. Bridge swallowed hard. He said too much, didn't he? Gave away the fact he was bitter about not being able to form a connection in any physical matter.
"Is there really no way for you to do it without worry?" Sky questioned. "Surely not every touch can be overwhelming, right?"
The question once again caught Bridge off guard. Sky was trying to understand, not tell him to deal with. He was trying to make an effort to make things work.
Bridge didn't know what he did to deserve this, but he really didn't ever want to lose this.
"It's just the sudden contact that gets me." Bridge explained quietly. "I'd need to be asked before any touch and even then I might not be in the right space to handle it and say no. No one would put up with that long term. I'm just an annoyance after a while."
"I could ask to touch you? You would've maybe agreed if I'd asked for a high five or to pat you on the shoulder? It doesn't need to be you initiating?" Sky asked, deep in thought.
"I... I guess. Maybe I'd be okay with that stuff sometimes." Bridge mumbled awkwardly. "I've been told as I get used to actually using this ability I might have better control over regulating my own feelings from it."
"Do you want to try?"
"Try? With you?"
"I'm sure Syd would get in on it too if you wanted. We've avoided contact because you said once you'd only like it if you initiated."
"I guess that was back when I barely knew about what I was doing." Bridge swallowed nervously. "If you want to try... I'm okay trying out more contact."
"Then let's try. Maybe it'll help you regulate better then."
"That would be nice."
...
It was simple things. Getting asked for a high five, or a fist bump. Asking to pat him on the shoulder for a good job.
Bridge was far from used to the sudden amount of contact, but he wasn't hating it. It was tolerable. It didn't overwhelm him.
Well, not always. Sometimes he thought he could handle a touch but then he couldn't. That was on him. Though, it did make Sky or Sydney feel bad when it did occur.
Mostly Syndey had it happen with her touch, Bridge noticed after a while. For some reason, Sky's touch felt more bearable than Syndey's. Bridge didn't understand it and didn't know how he would even bring up his question without it sounding weird.
Bridge was currently buried under his sheets, trying to regulate after an unexpected bleed of emotion. For once, not from an intentional touch, but just from the heaviness of the emotion in the area being too much.
"Can I turn on the light or do you need the dark?" Sky's voice broke into the silence.
"Dark." Bridge mumbled in reply. Sensory deprivation was a lot harder with a light on. At least for the makeshift way he went about depriving his senses in an attempt to regulate them better.
"Okay. No light it is."
The sound of Sky trying to navigate the room caught his attention. While the room was kept clean, it didn't mean it wasn't easy to misjudge how far to walk and hit something.
"You okay?" Sky asked.
Bridge peaked his head out from the sheet. He couldn't see Sky in the darkness, but for some reason he felt like it was better to look toward him.
"I'm fine... calmed down a bit. Just feel a bit tingly." Bridge replied.
"I don't suppose there's much I can offer for help."
"Not really."
"Should I stop talking?"
"No. I... it's grounding... hearing your voice right now."
"Okay then..." Sky started talking at random, discussing what had gone on while Bridge was out of commission and other mundane things.
Bridge found himself smiling slightly as he listened to the stories. Sky's voice was regulating him for some reason. Bridge really didn't get why, but he liked it.
"Sky?" Bridge spoke during a pause.
"Yeah?"
"You can turn on a small light, if you want. I think I'm stable enough for that."
"Okay. Watch your eyes."
A light flickering on, slightly illuminating the room. Bridge could finally see Sky. He was sitting on his bed, jacket off.
Bridge stared at him for awhile, before realizing that was probably an awkward thing to be doing. He averted his gaze.
"You sure you're alright?" Sky asked.
Bridge kept his gaze down. "Can... I ask you something? Ask you to try something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"Could you... hold my hand? There's... something I want to test."
"Okay?" Sky sounded wary, but didn't shy away.
He got up and made his way to Bridge's side of the room. He knelt down by the bed and placed his hand on it. Bridge took in a deep breath before taking off his glove and grabbing Sky's hand.
A few things happened. Immediately, Bridge could feel Sky's emotions and see a blue glow off of him. But also, the emotions swirled in a different way than usual. It wasn't like a fierce storm trying to drown him, but like a small trickle – floating him gently down a stream.
"Did this do what you expected?" Sky asked.
Bridge nodded. "Yeah. I... I can tolerate your emotions better than others. It's not overwhelming me like anyone else would if I did this."
"Is this you now asking for me to be part of you emotional regulation plan?"
"I... if you want to. I'm fine just doing this method too."
"I'll think about it." Sky pulled away.
Bridge missed the feeling, surprising himself. He normally couldn't wait to be let go of but now he didn't want it to stop? Just what was going on with him and Sky?
...
"Commander? Can I talk to you?" Bridge approached Cruger while he was alone in the command center.
"Of course. What's on your mind?" Cruger replied, turning away from a screen to give Bridge his full attention.
Bridge lingered awkwardly by the center table. He pressed his back to it to lean slightly as he tried to think of how to actually have this conversation.
"There's something wrong with me." Bridge said. "I think, at least. Cause you know, I get overwhelmed a lot by everyone's auras and all but... but for some reason it doesn't happen with Sky. I can tolerate him. He was able to touch me during an overload and it actually kind of regulated me."
Cruger was silent for a while as he took in what Bridge had said. "So, you're saying Sky is able to touch you without the same repercussions as everyone else?"
Bridge nodded. "Yes. I don't understand. Why isn't it as bad with him? Is something wrong with me?"
"Why do you assume something useful means something is wrong?"
Bridge rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Cause why wouldn't it be? That's all I'm told about this is something's wrong with me."
Cruger let out something between a growl and sigh. "Bridge, just because something may be abnormal, doesn't inherently make it wrong. It's great that you have found someone who is more tolerable than the rest. You should lean into it. Maybe it'll teach you more about this ability than you think."
"But abnormal is wrong." Bridge protested. "That's why you get shunned for being abnormal."
Cruger gave another growl. "You clearly have never been around anyone that doesn't immediately look down on you. Not everyone is like that. Now, give this a shot before you come back and complain about it."
"Y-yes, sir." Bridge agreed with slight hesitance.
He left the room, giving a glance back at Cruger. Bridge still didn't know about this. If he started relying on Sky, would that not just annoy him? All he ever seemed to be was annoying.
...
He avoided Sky. He hadn't really meant to, but the thoughts of confronting more about this whole situation was far too much for Bridge. He didn't know how to approach the topic. Didn't want to ask for that much. Didn't want Sky to think he was being weird for what he wanted to do.
"Bridge?"
Bridge jumped at the sudden voice. He had been reading in a reclusive area of the base – somewhere only he thought he knew about but apparently not.
Sky stood nearby, watching him with an expression Bridge couldn't quite place.
"Y-yes?" Bridge responded.
"Commander Cruger said you might be here." Sky stepped closer. "I want to talk to you."
"About?" Bridge felt dread rising in him. Had he done something wrong? He was trying to keep his distance from Sky to not make him feel burdened by the new revelation.
"You've been avoiding me." Sky stated calmly but firmly. "And Cruger explained why. He caught on before I could ask you straight out."
"I'm not avoiding you." Bridge quickly deflected. "I just don't want you to think I'm relying on you too much. Just because you are someone I can tolerate better doesn't mean I want to make you have to put up with me constantly. That isn't fair to you and-"
"Bridge." Sky cut him off firmly.
Bridge swallowed hard and closed his mouth.
"Why do you decide what others think without them telling you?" Sky questioned, moving in even closer. He crouched beside Bridge, looking at him with a curious expression.
Bridge lowered his gaze, staring at his gloved hands as he replied, "Because after a while you know what everyone thinks. Because everyone acts the same."
"That's not true."
"This overthinking has saved me from pain more times than not. I know what I'm doing."
"Well, clearly you don't because I want to help you, you idiot. Stop avoiding me."
Bridge went still. What did Sky just say? Bridge didn't know how to process what he just heard. Sky wanted him to lean on him?
"I don't... I don't understand." Bridge said. "Why don't you care?"
"I do care. That you're forcing yourself to suffer more than you need to." Sky placed a hand on Bridge's arm.
Bridge looked away. "You'll get annoyed by me. Everyone always does."
"It's been how long since we met? If I haven't gotten annoyed by now, I don't think I will." Sky retorted. "Give it a shot. You need to stop letting your past dictate everything about how you approach the future."
"You don't understand what it's like."
"Maybe not. But I'm willing to learn if you'll just give it a chance."
Bridge sighed. He wanted to accept. He really did. But his mind kept repeating all the times he had been strung along just to be humiliated at the worst times. He didn't want to risk it. It was easier to just stay disconnected from everyone. Even if he so desperately wanted anything but that.
"Bridge. Please." Sky spoke, his tone gentle this time. "One week. Lean on me when you need to. See how it goes. If you don't like it, then we can go back to whatever this is you were doing. But, please at least try."
Bridge let out another sigh. "Okay... I'll try. One week."
There was no way out of it when Sky was going to keep challenging his mind. Bridge had to go with it. Whether his mind wanted to let him try again or not.
"That's all I can ask." Sky gave him a small smile before standing up. "I was going to do some training exercises. Want to join me?"
"What's Syd up to?" Bridge replied, getting to his feet.
"No idea and I don't know if I even want to know." Sky replied.
"I guess some training might help distract my mind a bit."
"Then let's go. But I'm not going easy on you."
"When do you ever go easy on anyone?"
"You got me there."
...
It had been three days into their deal. Bridge had let himself lower his walls around Sky. Had allowed the other to be near him a lot more than before. It raised some eyebrows from the others in the base, but Sky had told him to ignore them. They were just jealous – according to Sky. Bridge didn't quite get what he meant, but didn't bother to ask for clarification for his own sanity. This was enough as it was to deal with.
Bridge was still hesitant. Was he coming on too strong? Was Sky secretly getting annoyed by it? He couldn't help but keep worrying that he was going to have this come crashing down on him in the worst way possible. That was just how it always was.
Why should he expect different?
And then today was a bad day. He had taken off his gloves for a bit in an empty area. It wasn't often many people came through. But then a wave of them did and he felt it all.
Bridge was curled up in his bed, trying desperately to regulate again. It wasn't working as well as usual. Then again, this was the worst he'd experienced in a while.
"Bridge?" Sky's voice reached his ears. "What happened?"
Bridge couldn't even find a voice to respond. He just covered himself more with his blankets, trying to shut out the world. He had forgotten to turn off the light and didn't have it in him to get up to do so.
"Overload?" Sky guessed at the silence. "Do you want the light off?"
Bridge nodded, before realizing he was too buried under the blankets for that to be noticeable. He shakily brought a hand out and gave a thumbs up, hoping that was enough for Sky to understand.
The light turned off. Bridge peaked his head out of the blankets. He made eye contact with Sky for the brief moment the door was closing before it drowned them in darkness.
Bridge closed his eyes and tried to go back to calming himself. He couldn't focus that well as Sky started to make noise as he navigated the room.
"Hey." Sky spoke. He was a lot closer now.
There was pressure on the bed. Was he... sitting on it?
Bridge couldn't find his voice still. He couldn't do anything but wait and see how this was going to play out. He didn't understand what Sky was trying to do. Should he be worried?
"Can't talk?" Sky continues to speak. "That's fine. Just, don't freak out about what I'm doing, okay?"
Bridge was ready to freak out from those words alone. What was happening? What was Sky going to do to him?
The blankets were pulled down. Bridge's eyes shot open, even though he couldn't see anything in the darkness. He tensed.
There was suddenly contact on his face. Bridge froze up. The hand moved to cup his cheek. Bridge's breathing got heavier as he tried to contend with what was happening.
"You get calmer with my aura on you. Right?" Sky spoke softly.
Bridge squeezed his eyes shut again. He kind of hated that Sky was right at this moment. It felt so stupid that just a simple touch was suddenly easing the chaos he had been in just a minute prior.
He took a few deep breaths as he gathered himself, the hum of Sky's emotions running through his body. Concern. That was mostly what Bridge was getting off of Sky.
Definitely made sense given what had been going on.
Bridge slid off one of his gloves. He reached up, grabbing at Sky's hand and holding it. Sky didn't say anything about it. Bridge was grateful for that much.
"Sorry..." Bridge mumbled. What he was apologizing for, he really wasn't sure. He just felt like he needed to.
"What are you apologizing for? You haven't done anything." Sky replied.
Bridge didn't respond out loud, but his mind started to listen reasons why he should be sorry. He was just being a burden. He was being annoying. Sky probably had a lot of better things to be doing than dealing with him.
"Hey... stop overthinking everything. I can tell you're doing that even without seeing your face." Sky said.
Bridge spoke before thinking his words through. "Aren't you fed up with me?"
"No. And I'm not going to be so get that through your head." Sky flicked Bridge's forehead clumsily in the dark. "I care about you. I'm not going to leave you alone fot something so stupid."
"Sorry..." Bridge mumbled. "It's the only thing I can see as the outcome."
"Then expand your horizons because I'm not like that." Sky's voice got louder, leading Bridge to assume he was leaning down. "What will it take for you to finally trust that someone won't leave?"
"I don't know..."
Sky let out a sigh at his words. That only made Bridge feel bad again. He was annoying Sky. He had to be. It just wasn't for the reason he had originally assumed it would be for.
"You're so stubborn sometimes." Sky whispered.
Sky's hand moved, pushing back the hair covering Bridge's forehead. Bridge barely had a chance to really question what was happening before he felt lips on his forehead.
Sky... kissed him.
Huh?
"If I said that I love you, will you finally believe that I won't leave you?" Sky spoke.
Bridge was silent for a moment as he took it all in. Sky loved him?
"You... love me?"
"Yes... I think I do." Sky responded, a slight hesitance in his voice. "I hadn't ever really intended to act on these feelings but... desperate times call for desperate measures. If it gets you to lean on someone, then so be it."
Bridge pushed himself into a sitting position, flicking on the light. He met Sky's gaze. Sky met his.
"You really... think that much of me?" Bridge asked quietly.
Sky nodded. "Yes. I do. You don't see it, but you're a lot more than you ever give yourself credit for being. And there's a lot of things to like about you."
Bridge nervously began to fiddle with his fingers. "I just... all my life I've been nothing but a burden or shunned or just not shown enough love and now... now you're telling me I'm supposed to just accept there are people like that?"
"You just had bad luck with who you were surrounded by back then. There's plenty of others in the base alone that like you and see you as a friend."
"It's just so hard to believe... I never thought the grass could be greener on the other side."
Sky offered a hand. "I'll show you, if you're willing to give me a chance."
Bridge stared at his hand for a while, contemplating. That was a bit step out of his comfort zone. His mind would no doubt be against him for a while with that. But...
Maybe it was time to try. Maybe he was the reason he never got better. Because he never tried to push past what he was confortable with before.
Bridge reached out and took Sky's hand. "I'll trust you."
Sky smiled. "I won't disappoint you. You'll see what you've been ignoring for so long."
Bridge smiled back. "Maybe someone does get me after all."
"You're only now realizing?"
"Guess so. Well, maybe moreso I'm just acknowledging what I've refused to believe."