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Makoto wasn’t someone who openly wore his emotions on his sleeve. Maybe the way he would react wasn’t what others would quite consider “normal”. Some might describe him as even rude or insensitive.
“How is he so chummy with people like Takeba-san, or even Sanada-senpai and Kirijo-senpai?”
“Pisses me off. Do you have any idea what I’d do to even get the chance to talk with Takeba-san? He doesn’t even look like he’s paying attention.”
“…got recruited into the student council by doing nothing.”
“Even that stuck up disciplinarian Odagiri somehow actually wants to hang around him.”
Murmurs.
Murmurs that always seem to be from people ready to judge someone who might just be different. It wasn’t really something new to Makoto. Growing up, he was always moving from one place to another, never really having a chance to settle down in one place for a long time. Never really getting the chance to form lasting friendships, lasting relationships, lasting connections to one specific area.
Never really getting the chance to have one place he could truly call home.
Perhaps it was also the way he carried himself. Maybe his body language, to most others, read as if he’s uninterested. Maybe the way he chose to answer others would come off as a little too straightforward.
I don’t care.
A phrase that has stuck with him for a long time, and one which a lot of people now associated with him. A seemingly cold response, yes.
But if he truly didn’t care, why would he do his best to try and befriend some of people around him?
Would someone who truly didn’t care go out of their way to seek out a friend who wanted someone to talk to, or to keep visiting an elderly couple at a second-hand bookstore and constantly checking up on them, or to keep going back to the playground at Naganaki shrine so he could keep a young, lonely kid company?
It’s probably what he also would’ve wanted… would’ve needed back when he too was a child left alone.
Of course he cared. He cared a lot.
He also cared a lot about his friends’ autonomy. Makoto had thought, even if he tried to dissuade some of his friends from making certain bad decisions, what were the chances that they would’ve listened to him straight away? What were the chances that they would frown and tell him he’s not being a supportive friend? Would that end up biting him back in the butt?
Maybe it would be better to don a mask, weave through the complicated yet delicate waters of friendship, and coast the line between logical advice and emotional support.
What would his friends rather seek from him at the time? What would they ultimately look for, in order to take the step and make a decision for themselves?
To Makoto, the ability for his friends to make their own decisions probably held a lot more weight than whatever idea he would tell them was the best option. They are their own people. They can choose what path they ultimately want to take.
Makoto would want them to learn. He would rather them make some dumb mistakes and learn that what they did at that time was not the best idea.
He wouldn’t want Miyamoto to continue running with his bad leg, but he also knew that his friend was stubborn. Makoto could have told Miyamoto to stop coming to practices, or he could have immediately told the coach or Nishiwaki about his injury. But that would also be breaking Miyamoto’s trust in him.
So then, Makoto decided. Maybe the best thing for him to do for the moment was to lend a shoulder and be there for Miyamoto in a way only he can. If Miyamoto wanted a friend by his side who would be there for him as a pillar of support, then Makoto would be that person for him.
On the other hand, as much as he loved his friends and wanted them to forge their own path, if things got out of hand, Makoto would not hesitate to put his foot down. He recalled Suemitsu, with all his talk about joining a cult and doing everything he could to achieve “Paradise”. When Makoto felt like his friend was getting too wrapped up in the idea of this cult business, he firmly stood his ground and told him to cut it out.
Of course, that did hurt Suemitsu. It was inevitable, but his friend was going to bring more harm to himself. Makoto noticed how much Suemitsu was trying to compensate for the pain he was going through. Through their hangouts, Suemitsu would drop sudden facts about his brother or casually mention the times he felt inferior. Then, right at their next meeting, he would ask Makoto to not abandon him.
Makoto would never abandon a friend.
Even when he once again, tried to be firm and get through to Suemitsu and earned himself a reverse link, he still chose to chase after him. It didn’t matter if Suemitsu had acted the way he did towards Makoto. He wouldn’t turn his back and leave a friend who was clearly hurting.
~
“From what I’ve seen, he doesn’t really look like he cares for much.”
“He seems so… blank. It’s like he doesn’t even have a personality. How is anyone even friends with him?”
These whispers from people who don’t even bother to get to know him would always linger. Makoto knew that. There would always be people who only see what’s on the surface and refuse to clear their biases enough to try and understand Makoto himself.
Hearing open talk about him floating around can get old. Even if it’s something he’s dealt with his whole life, he’s still human. Of course, if the buzzing is always present, even little things like these would get to him.
But in the end, the words that truly matter would be from the people he was proud to call his friends. He would continue to go forth and strengthen the bonds with the people who he cared for, and who in turn, cared for him as well.