Work Text:
This is it. Today is the day.
Jesus is coming to save the world. Today, all the good boys are being raptured.
Charlie's heart was torn between excitement and confusion. He was such a good boy throughout his life and he was certain that Jesus would reward him for his devote and heroic acts. After all, the best way to honor your religion and get into heaven is to be racist and misogynistic while debating college students, right? Right?
However, lately, he had considered himself a sinner. And it was barely even his doing, but the brainwash of another person was getting to him. Not just another person, another man.
A man.
Dean Withers.
Charlie met Dean while he was, of course, debating college students. He felt a strong connection to the man after he made an excellent point on the topic of abortion, which Charlie felt strongly against. Only the women of Trump's affairs can get abortions.
But Dean sure weaseled his way into Charlie's life. With his thick, greasy hair and his obnoxious chewing gum smacking through his mouth, Dean approached the conservative man and complimented his blue suit. Charlie debated the younger man a few more times before he asked him out to a coffee and chat.
When coffee turned to his deep, veiny cock disappearing in and out of Dean's thick hole, he knew he was in trouble. If being gay was wrong and against the bible, how could it feel this good?
So when Charlie heard the news of the rapture coming, he removed Dean from his life and repented to God. He spent all day praying and confessing, before going home and selling his house on Facebook marketplace with no regards to his wife or children. Who needs a house when you have an eternal home in Heaven?
When Tuesday the 23rd arrived, all Charlie could do was sit on the side of the road, outside of his newly sold house. His feet pattered on the concrete of the road as he anxiously jogged his leg, waiting. He waited and waited, but nothing happened. The sky never split in two. The souls of the faithful never floated to the sky around him. Had he been fooled this entire time?
No. He couldn't have.... or maybe.... did Jesus reject him? Because of his gay acts?
"Charlie?" A deep, familiar voice snapped him out of his homophobic thoughts. No... it couldn't be? On but it was. He looked up to see Dean standing in front of him, standing tall in his skinny black jeans and his Zumiez affliction shirt.
"No. Go away. You're a sinner." Charlie shot up from his place on the curb to a defensive position in the presence of this disease. "I don't need your satanic ways around me anymore. The Lord has called me, and I have answered. I have repented. Get away from me!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Dean questioned, his face riddled with confusion. Satanic ways?
"You. Your queerness. You were sent here by Satan to trick me."
"Girl, I don't even believe in Satan." Dean defended, puzzled as he watched his former lover fall deep into religious psychosis. "So you're saying nothing we had was real?"
"No, of course not! You tricked me!" Charlie screamed back, spit flying from his gum-filled mouth. Dean's face turned to anger, his pale skin filling with red. As Charlie opened his wide mouth once more to spew more hateful bullshit, the sky suddenly turned dark. The clouds separated down the middle in this suburban American city. Oh wow! The rapture is happening right now!1 Somehow, it's happening in California, and not in Palestine where Jesus was born. That's odd. Maybe Jesus already stopped by there, like Santa! That's what Charlie thinks.
"GAH! It's happening!! Back up, you twink! I can't get into the heavenly realm of Jesus if your gayness is plaguing me!" Charlie sobbed, praying the gay away. Dean slowly stepped back, afraid of what could happen.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing is wrong with being gay." Dean tried to calm the older man down before he broke into a panic, but failed.
"No.... n-n-no.... I must get into Heaven. Jesus says that gay is wrong. You are wrong! You are going to hell!" The older man screamed. "I must get raptured into Heaven. I must go!" He was yelping as he opened his arms wide and got into cross formation. Dean just watched, trying not to laugh. However, nothing happened. The good people around them began to float up in unison, and Charlie just wept. Why wasn't he getting taken?
"Charlie! God! Just shut up!!" Dean stopped the crying man's rant by slapping him across the face, causing a similar sound to when they "tickled" each other in bed at night. Tickled. Sure. "You are fine! Jesus loves you just the way you are!" He always tried to play into Charlie's delusions of God when comforting him. "You're gay! I'm gay! We love each other and there is nothing wrong with that! Jesus loves all of his creations the same!!"
Dean truly could not fathom what happened to his lover, in a span of three days, to get him so worked up over his sexuality. But as he was thinking about it, something weird happened. Dean began floating up into the sky, surrounded by all of the other devout people. He was confused. He didn't even believe in God? How could this be happening?
Then it hits him. Everyone floating around him is either clearly gay, gothic or a liberal. Charlie was MINDBLOWN. How could all these blue haired freaks with pronouns get raptured before him?
As Dean got further and further away from him, and up to the heavens, Charlie cried. What was he doing?! He loved Dean. He wanted to be with Dean for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with Dean in Heaven. He wasn't sure if he could fix this now, but he attempted the only thing he could think of.
"I'm gay!!" Charlie shouted into the distance. Dean's head snapped down at the voice, in awe. "I'm gay and I love my babygirl Dean."
He and Dean broke out in tears of joy as Charlie began to ascend to Heaven. Dean's small hand grasped the much larger one of Charlie as they reached equal height to each other.
"I guess you were right, love. Jesus doesn't hate gay people." Charlie smiled and kissed his omega on the cheek. "But wait, if you're an atheist, why are you getting brought into the great Heaven of Jesus Christ with me?"
"I'm a good person, my alpha Charlie. That's how I made it. I never judged people for the color of their skin or the way they love. I don't judge women for their healthcare decisions. I accept it. I am woke. I am loving to all people. That is how I achieved my spot in Heaven." Dean hitched his cold breath at the end of his speech. His hand gripped Charlie's as they got closer and closer to the end of the sky.
Dean got into Heaven on the rapture that day. He enjoyed his time with all of his new woke friends. But Charlie, however, was shot in the neck by Jesus. #staywoke #jesushatesfascists #jesuslovesgays #jesusisnonbinary
The end.