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Her heart is pounding. Her ears feel full of cotton. Her body is shaking, quivering, breaking, shivering.
“I need…..”
Her skin is burning. Her chest is fluttering full and swelling to burst. There's a smoldering in her chest that settles lower with every step she takes.
With every step her clothes chafe and scratch and irritate. She wants to tear them off because they are far too infuriating, no, maddening, no, awful.
Plain and simple. It all just feels awful, when she doesn't have her to soothe it all away.
A gaze of crosses and blood, and far too much apathy and indifference. Yet there is a fire in those eyes that draws her in, especially now.
The rain is cool and cold against her nape, her ungloved hands, her body burning, yearning, for……
…..her.
Knock! Knock!
Her hands shake as she raps and taps and bludgeons her knuckles against the imposing wooden doors before her. One that she could tear down easily if she so chose to, if she had the trinket she left at home in a rush that is.
She waits and waits as rain pelts her drenched form, and tears spill down from her mismatched eyes. Every second burns.
Nothing.
Every minute hurts more.
Nothing.
Every pass of the clock on her now limited life makes her knuckles and fists ache to pound and beat and scrap until the door splinters apart.
But nobody comes, not until too much time has passed for her heat ridden body to handle any more. She's not even glad the door has finally opened because she can't stay conscious that long.
“Miss Furina, what are you doing here out in the rain? Are you looking for father-?” That's all the boy inclined in the art of sleight of hand gets before the former archon of his home collapses at his family's doorstep.
“Miss Furina!!!” That's the last thing she hears before losing consciousness and waking up in a bed that isn't hers. One that smells like the person she came here to see, to find, to look for and hope was still here.
Someone that makes her chest swell with desire and fear in the same breath.
Her. The….
Knock Knock.
There's a sharp and curt knock on her door before an imposing figure comes through. One that makes her mouth pool full like a fountain and hand ache to touch. The scent of petrichor in a burning forest strikes her nose and she can't help but pull herself from bed to go to them. The woman who smells so sweet, so tasty, so delicious, delectable, divine.
I want to, no, need to bite her.
Her. The….
“Miss Furina, please lie down and rest. You shouldn't be up—” But it's too late for words as the taller woman in front of her goes crashing to the floor because of her. A naked girl far smaller than the imposing figure that stood far taller than her, a girl so much weaker in every way.
The knave probably could have stopped her, but didn't and let herself be felled by her, smaller, weaker, vulnerable, unable to focus on anything but her.
An alpha. Arlecchino.
“Miss Furina, please go back to bed….” The fearsome harbinger doesn't finish those words as the far smaller girls lips capture hers.
The girl she's kissing, the woman who isn't stopping her, the knave that is letting her do this and isn't telling her to stop at all. No, Arlecchino doesn't fight it as Furina de fontaine, the shameful sham that she is, licks and whines and cries with every kiss she gives her. With every press of their lips together, every whimper the former fake archon makes, with every bleated cry, every begging whine the pitiful omega that she is makes, she asks Arlecchino……
……She begs her, the only person in the world that can help…….
No……help isn't the right word for what she selfishly wants the alpha to give her, the greatest fool of all teyvat, and grant her selfish request.
“Furina…….please, you should……. rest……. This will pass…….soon” The knave says between kisses she is half heartedly reciprocating yet not denying.
Those weak and chaste attempts to reciprocate makes her just want to stop and give up trying to coax affection from this alpha who wouldn't want anything to do with her.
A tool for the god’s whims and flights of fancy. A marionette still dancing on an empty stage after everyone has left the show and her strings have been cut. But yet still she dances to a tune long forgotten and lost to the winds of time.
Every step and every movement is always calculated and in step with what everyone else but herself wants.
All at the request of her, the other half who is no longer around to see what's become of her. A girl who only had one purpose and nothing else beyond that, not after so many eras of people who lived and breathed because of her being everything they needed passed her by.
Now she's just a girl out of time, and running down a clock that will eventually break, and it scares her so much.
When the knave reaches for a bottle of suppressants amidst the ruins of broken dinnerware and now inedible food she brought—one that will take away this burning in her flesh that makes her feel alive for once in her life after so long, ruin this want she has to be held like she matters and finally the drive it gives her to do something about everything she's been hiding inside for five hundred years so she didn't break apart—she lashes out at them.
The foolish girl she is makes the choice to knock away that bottle of medicine that will make this burning, this thumping, this feeling that gives her something she hasn't had in so long fade.
Desire. Want. Need. Will. Drive. Thirst for affection. Hunger to be filled with love, trust, affection, pain, pleasure.
I don't want to lose another reason to live!
All of it will go away, and she'll be cold and still as stagnant water like before. She'll become just another broken doll that nobody needs anymore.
I don't want to be content to fade away, I don't want to disappear, I don't want to drown in my grief, my sadness, my sorrow, my apathy, my melancholy, grief, anymore.
I don't want to lose something that makes me feel so alive and like I'm still living even if it hurts.
She'll break and implode like a diving bell that has a crack in its perfect surface if she swallows those pills.
Broken and cracked. That's what I am.
She has far too many imperfections and missing pieces now, and more cracks are forming the deeper she goes into this sea, as deep as a bottomless trench and as dark as a starless sky, wrapped around her heart.
Her heart is still at the bottom of those nightmares, ones of the flood that have been hanging over her head for so many centuries. Like a silver needle at the back of her eyes pinned deep inside her skull, a feeling that grew bigger every century, then decade, then half, then year, month, day, second……..
……and she isn't sure if she's cracked open from it all or not.
Maybe she's just delirious anymore.
Again she whines for the alpha pinned beneath her and subject to her attempts at a normal person's attempts to try and love, to hold, to coax and plead to another, for reciprocation.
No. She already knows it's not what she wants. She just wants someone to value her again. Because she feels so broken and like she's missing so many pieces without everyone that relied on her. Without it……..then why does she still exist?
“Please…..”
Give me meaning.
Again she begs.
“I need…….”
To not be so broken.
She cries for her.
“Arle…….”
Make me full of you.
That name spikes the alpha's scent. It smolders in her gut and burns like a lick of flame. It makes her feel warm and like she's really alive, for once. Like she's bathing in the sun after being under the tides for so long.
It's lovely, and she so selfishly wants more. From a girl, a woman, who might want to give her what she selfishly desires.
“I need you, Arle.” Those words make the alpha beneath her give a sharp bite against her lips that are harsh and almost brutal. It makes her cry, but even still she doesn't feel fear and doesn't stop from asking for more.
“Arle, please, kiss me” Thankfully, oh so thankfully Arlecchino does and it's so good and makes her cracks feel a little bit fuller.
“Arle, please, touch me.” With those words Arlecchino, a harbinger, one of the most feared people in all of Teyvat listens and digs her clawed hands sharply into the back of her hair and takes her tongue in between blunt and sharp teeth.
“Arle, please, fuck m—” but then the harbinger pulls away and glares at her dangerously. It's a warning, but for what and who she isn't sure. But the thought it could be because Arlecchino might hurt her pools fire in her gut, and the longer she gazes into those eyes the more it settles far lower.
She was already wet but now Arlecchino needs new clothes because of her.
“Miss Furina……” Arlecchino's voice is hushed and quiet as she whispers her next words. A definitive warning about what will come next if she says those words.
It makes her heart flutter.
“You need to think carefully of your next request, for both our sake.” Arlecchino's fingers make her skin burn as they grace her flesh like an old lover.
Something she has never had.
Just a few fingers makes her want to melt and meld with her instead of dissolve in the sea she still feels trapped in. Arlecchino makes her want to burn in those flames of hers she's been afraid of, yet drawn to, for a long time.
It makes her want to beg Arle, the only girl in Teyvat that can help her, to burn, to bite, to choke, to fill, to fuck, to give that burning flame she desperately wants.
She wants to feel those cracks in her heart cauterize from Arlecchino's flames.
“I want…..I want you to burn me away my alph—”
“No” Those harsh and brutal words are like a shard of cryo into her heart, and pull water from her eyes.
Furina de fontaine, the girl that asked Arlecchino to finally give in and touch her like her body craves so much, sniffles and sobs and cries because Arle, the girl she wanted to help her, to give her more than the knave ever could anyone else, to……….
Sniffle.
“It was stupid of me to think you would ever want to love me” All she wants to do is run away and jump into the bottom of the fortress of meropide.
She was too blinded by her own selfishness that she didn't even think for a moment that Arlecchino, a woman that could have anything she ever wanted in life because of her strength, could ever want her.
A broken tool, not a person.
“If love is something you want I would gladly attempt to give it to you, Miss Furina, but I do not wish to hurt you if that's your request…….I do not want to ever harm you again” Those calm and all to collected words make fury fill her chest.
She grabs the collar of the Knaves coat harshly and glares deep into those eyes that would have scared her before, but not now. Not when she's so hurt by the Knave's misunderstanding.
“I…did not fucking mean kill me you…….ugh!!” The knave gives her a raised eyebrow.
Furina sighs before explaining very thoroughly what she means.
“I want you to fuck me…….I want you to break me……”
“Miss Furina I do not wish to harm you…”
“I mean I want you to fuck my brains out until I can't walk! I want you to use me for pleasure, both of ours. I want you to ruin me, with your fingers, your tongue, your cock!”
“Miss furina”
“I want you to be rough with me! I want you to burn me alive—”
“Miss furin—”
“With your touch! With sweet caresses! With harsh and kind words! With—”
“Furina—”
“I want you to breed me until there's no doubt I'm going to get—”
“Fine”
“I want you to fuck me until all I can think of anymore is you and your……..”
It's too late to realize what Arlecchino said before her lips are on hers and the way Arlecchino kisses her is everything to her right now.
It's all she ever wanted, and when they pull away to take a breath she immediately goes back for more. But Arlecchino instead places a clawed finger on her lips.
“First, droplet, you are going back into bed and are going to eat and relax, and warm up. I'm not letting you get sick” She wants to beg and cry for them to keep going.
“Of course I will be by your side the entire time, once I notify lyney and Lynette to bring the food and notify the others I will be busy with other matters for a while…...A long while if that is what you wish, miss………” Arlecchino leans in close and calls her that name that makes her weak.
“If that is your deepest wish, my droplet” Her cheeks burn but she can't help but laugh and finally relent.
“Y-yes of cou…..Yes, arle, please.” and with that loving smirk Arlecchino helps her into bed before leaving, but it's not long until she returns and starts to get undressed for her.
For. Her.
It makes her so happy she cries again, and when Arlecchino, the girl she hopes will be her alpha after all of this, kisses her, it's perfect.
“Thank you, my alpha~”
“Of course, my droplet”