Work Text:
ON the value of pillows
Days of being bed ridden, in pain, and feeling lonely combined with the fatal mistake of reading anti-fan comments that cooed over how much better BTS performed without him pushed the low simmer of frustration, helplessness and self-doubt in Jimin’s belly to a pulsing boiling point. he threw his tablet to the other side of the bed. he wanted to throw it on the floor, break the screen that framed a picture of the boys at a fan-signing the words ‘Perfect 6’ printed beneath. Instead he grabbed one of the extra pillows on his bed and threw it across the room with vicious satisfaction.
That was until he heard a yelp as the pillow smacked the nurse who just walked into the room across the head.
Jimin shot up in bed, the right side of his abdomen burned in protest and he couldn’t contain the small cry of his own. In a flash the nurse was by his bed, a firm arm under his shoulder helped him lie gently back on the bed. They spoke at the same time.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you okay?”
The nurse smiled as she righted herself and bowed. “Hello, my name is Oh Hani. I’ll be your evening nurse this week.” Jimin bowed in return. “You just let me know if you need anything.”
“I’m okay for now thank you,” he replied.
“Are you sure? I could bring you more pillows?”
He burst into surprised laughter and marveled at how quickly his mood had shifted. “I’ll let you know.”
She gave him a bright smile and Jimin felt a light flutter in his chest.
****
ON river’s of Egypt
Jimin learned a lot about Nurse Oh in the next two days. Not because he was making any type of special effort to. No, it was only natural to have conversations when she came in to check in on him. If he knew more about her that he did Nurse Kim his day nurse, it was only because Hani-shi (as she told him call her) spoke more openly to him. It didn’t mean anything that Jimin looked forward to his conversations with her, she was his age after all. They jumped seamlessly from topic to topic, and though Jimin was a little insulted when she hadn’t recognized his group he was mollified when she a least heard of one of their songs.
After that, they had spent much too long for Jimin’s comfort on the topic of Super Junior - who had been Hani’s favorite group in high-school. He was fortunate he hadn’t told her he’d met a few of them in person lest she never let the subject drop.
On the third day Nurse Oh walked into his room at a sedate pace and Jimin instantly knew something was wrong. Hani-shi was the only person he knew with more hyper-active energy than Hobbie-hying and Tae on caffeine combined.
“Did something bad happen?” he asked hesitantly.
She gave him a wane smile and shook her head, “Nothing you have to worry about.”
Jimin nodded and waited patiently, if there was one thing he was good at it was getting people to open up to him.
Nurse Oh looked at him and sighed, “I made a stupid mistake in my charting and it could have caused a big problem if the head nurse hadn’t caught it.”
She leaned over to take his blood pressure, “Sometimes I wonder if what she said s true and I’m too stupid to be a nurse.”
Jimin was stunned at the parallels to some of his darkest thoughts, she must have caught his expression for she rushed to add. “Don’t look so serious, it’s not that big of a deal.”
Jimin considered his next words carefully, “Just because you make a mistake it doesn’t mean your stupid. Your human, not perfect, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we work hard to make sure we learn from it and not to make the same mistake twice. You are more than the sum of all your mistakes.”
Hani leaned over to remove the blood pressure cuff and glanced at the open tablet on his lap where he’d been reading fan comments again.
“So you’re saying I should stop beating myself up for things I can’t change and just focus on working harder in the future?”
“Exactly!” Jimin exclaimed happily. She looked at him pointedly and he grinned sheepishly, “I guess I can take my own advice too.”
“Exactly!” she parroted with a light laugh and Jimin felt his stomach twist again. He must be hungry he thought, that was all.
****
ON the literal meaning of lyrics
On the fourth evening Nurse Oh had to give him an injection. Jimin stared at the needle in her hands with apprehension.
“You have to give me that?”
“Doctor’s orders,” she replied much to cheerily. “Turn onto your stomach.”
Jimin choked on his saliva, “Wh- why?”
“It’s an intramuscular injection so it has to go into a muscle. Your butt is one of the largest muscles in your body so it would be the least painful,” she explained patiently gesturing for him to turn over.
Jimin didn’t budge, his cheeks flamed at the thought of Hani seeing his bare bottom. Yes, she inspected his bare abdomen daily but that was different, less intimate.
“Could you just inject it into another muscle?” he squeaked.
Nurse Oh sighed, “Yes but it will be more painful.”
“That’s fine, I can handle it!” he pulled up the sleeve of his hospital gown and presented his arm with a flourish. He may have flexed a little too but that was only to make it easier for her to locate the muscle group of course.
“Okay, relax your arm.” Jimin turned away as she reached for him. He couldn’t stand the sight of needles, or blood, or needles entering his body and blood gushing out or-
“Your arm is still very tense.” Jimin felt her squeeze his upper arm in a soothing motion and instantly he turned to goo. “That’s better.” A moment later Jimin felt the tightening of the rubber tourniquet, the cool wet sensation of rubbing alcohol, then the sharp prick of the needle going deep.
“Hold still, okay I’m going to start injecting the medi-“
“-Please stop narrating!” Jimin interrupted in a strained voice, “I don’t want to know anything.”
“Okay, okay” He felt a rush of fluid enter his arm before the needle was quickly removed and a piece of gauze pressed down on the site. “Done!” she called out.
“That was it?” Jimin felt his bravado return, “It wasn’t painful at all.” He smirked. Hani gave him a tiny inscrutable smile before releasing the rubber tourniquet off his arm.
Fire. His arm was on fire. There was liquid fire inside his veins.
“Aaaaaaaah!” Jimin screamed.
“I was going to tell you to expect this but you said you didn’t want to hear it.”
“Ah ah ah ah!” He blew at his arm as if that would cool down the molten lava in his veins.
“I know, I know,” She patted him consolingly. Then said after a beat, “Bultaoreune.”
Jimin stared incredulously as Hani dissolved into laughter.
*
It wasn’t Nurse Oh who walked into his room on the fifth day, but another nurse. Jimin felt his heart sink.
“Excuse me, what happened to Nurse Oh?” he asked.
“She’s off today,” came the curt response. “Please lay back so I can check your surgery site.”
“Will she be back tomorrow?”
“I don’t know I don’t make the schedules. Lie down.” This time it was not a suggestion and Jimin rushed to obey. As the nurse poked and prodded him (quite roughly), he wondered what had happened to Hani. Was she sick? Would she be back before he left? Would he ever see her again?
His evening proceeded at a crawling pace. Jimin felt bored out of his mind. What did he do before Nurse Oh had broken the daily monotony of routine? He spent his days finding things to show and share with her to make her laugh, and his evenings laughing and joking around with her. Even though he was sitting in ill-fitting unflattering hospital gowns and too large prescription glasses with no makeup on he’d never felt self conscious around her. She never failed to cheer him up with her bubbling jubilant personality and she never let him stay in his dark moods. He loved his conversations with her and he looked forward to seeing her everyday.
He looked forward to seeing her everyday.
Jimin dropped his head to his knees with a groan, there was no more denying it. He definitely had a crush on Nurse Oh. What was he going to do about it?
The opening melody of House of Cards rang out and Jimin one-handedly groped for his phone without lifting his head. “Hello,” he answered listlessly.
“JIMIN-AH!” the loud scream from Taehyung had him pulling his phone away from his ear. “Guess what! We’re headed back to Seoul!”
Jimin bolted upright in surprise, “Really?”
“REALLY!”
“I thought you guys had one more day out there?”
“That was the plan but the interview for tomorrow was cancelled so we’re heading back early. And because now we don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow, guess what!”
Jimin bounded up bed, because of their overseas schedule the boys hadn’t been able to come to the hospital once. Even though they’d all called him at least once a day, (even Yoongi-hyung who never called anyone took a minute out of his day to awkwardly grunt out ‘did you eat today?’ before hastily hanging up), he still missed them with a fury. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gone a single day without seeing his band-mates let alone a week. He’d felt like a piece of him was missing.
It probably wasn’t this healthy to be so deeply attached to his group-mates, eventually Jimin knew they would all walk their own paths. But that was years to come. Maybe that was what attracted him to Hani, she had a little bit of everyone in her; Hobbi-hyung’s cheery unbreakable temperament, Tae’s energy, Jungkook’s silliness, Jin-hyung’s nurturing disposition, Yoongi-hyung’s mischievousness and Namjoon-hyung’s patience.
“You guys are coming to visit me!” He answered Tae’s question excitedly. Although he’d gotten used to sleeping in a room alone the uninterrupted quiet during the day was still deeply uncomfortable, and without Hani to distract him he felt viciously lonely.
“No, we’re going to the amusement park!” Tae answered and Jimin heard laughter in the background.
“Yah Kim Taehyung!”
“I’m joking, I’m joking. Of course we’re coming to see you. Manger-nim said you may even be coming home with us tomorrow.”
Jimin blinked in surprise. He was getting discharged tomorrow? No more aching boredom and loneliness, no more needles and tests, no more disgusting hospital food. He could get back on his feet, start practicing again. Actually dance instead of just watching dancing all day. He should be ecstatic, it was everything he wanted.
Jimin knew exactly why he was not as happy as he should be- Nurse Oh Hani. If she didn’t show up tomorrow he might never be able to see her again. The thought alone caused a painful lump in his chest. Jimin could never risk a scandal to try and visit her on his own time, but he’d thought he would at least have time with her before he left. Maybe exchange numbers, keep in touch, see where things went. But now he might never get the chance to even say goodbye.
“Oh…really?” he said.
Tae picked up on his tone immediately, “Oh? What’s this? Why do you sound disappointed?”
Jimin let out an exaggerated sigh, “I was so close to forgetting what you look like.”
“For that I’m going to eat all the exotic banana’s I bought for you here.”
“I mean I love you.”
****
ON the fickleness of ladybugs
They came in loud, obnoxious and insulting and Jimin couldn’t have been any happier.
“JIMIN-AH!” they chorused spreading and filling the empty spaces of the room until he didn’t feel alone anymore. There was back slaps and hard hugs, hair ruffling and cheeks pinched.
Well, only his cheeks and only Jin pinched them. “Are they even feeding you here?” He clucked, cupping the sides of Jimin’s face. “ Your face looks like half its size.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” grinned Jungkook wickedly.
“Look at how rested he looks compared to us,” Hoseok said grabbing Jimin into a headlock he struggled to escape.
“And his skin too,” Taehyung said with exaggerated awe, lifting one of his arms to examine dramatically. “ So pale, so white, so skinny. You look just like Yoongi-hyung now” He ducked the slap said hyung directed at the back of his head with a giggle.
Jimin struggled out of Hoseok’s headlock and pulled his arm free from Tae’s hold, “I still have my muscles!” he protested flexing his bicep.
Jungkook made a show of squinting at his arm, “Where? Where? I can’t see them.” Jimin raised his fist in mock threat at the maknae.
Yoongi sighed heavily, “It’s really not fair for the company to show such obvious discrimination like this,” he flopped onto the comfiest chairs in the room. “My room was double this size and in VIP. V.I.P” he repeated smirking. “I guess that just represents how much more valuable I am.”
Jimin hung his head in exasperation. Had he really miss these people?
“I hope you wear a hat when you leave your room,” Namjoon-hyung pipped up from the foot of his bed, “your roots are showing.”
“I thought it made a cool contrast-“
“-It doesn’t”
“Aah!” Jimin flipped back onto the bed with a scream as the others erupted int laughter around him saying;
“This feels better.”
“I forgot how much fun this was!”
“I knew something was missing this week”
“It just didn’t feel the same without you Jimin.”
“Yeah, we really need you around to make fun of.”
“All of you get out!!” Jimin cried.
*
They didn’t leave of course. Instead they spread out and made themselves comfortable around his hospital room. They shared stores of the past week and filed Jimin in on all the details they didn’t have time for over the phone. Before he knew it, the day nurse was finishing her last rounds and the worry and anxiety over Hani returned in full force.
“Do you know if Nurse Oh will be back tonight?” he tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible. Still the members all went silent around him.
Nurse Kim shook her head, “No sorry, only the head nurse knows the interns schedules.” She bowed and left the room.
“Waah, you kept track of the nurses schedules?” Hobi-Hying exclaimed, “You must have been so bored.” He patted Jimin’s leg in sympathy and Jimin shrugged noncommittedly.
Hoseok was perched on the end of Jimin’s bed on his phone. Tae had made himself comfortable lying next to him on the bed playing a game on Jimin’s tablet while Jungkook watched sitting on a chair next to the bed. Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin-hyung’s had taken the small seating section in the room. One of them had brought out a deck of cards and the three were engrossed in a game that Jimin didn’t understand.
The conversation continued around him but Jimin found his gaze drawn continually to the clock, only 15 more minutes until Hani normally came in for first evening rounds.
“Are we boring you?” Namjoon asked.
“What?”
“You keep looking at the clock, do you want us to leave?”
“Are you getting tired?” Jin asked and everyone stopped what they were doing to scrutinize Jimin for any signs of exhaustion.
“No, no I’m fine. I swear.” A beat passed before they all looked away and the conversation renewed. Jimin sat itching to look at the clock but unwilling to explain himself if he was caught again. Instead he tried to see the time off his tablet but Taehyung's game was full screen and covered it. So he leaned over to peer at the time off Hobi’s phone. 3:15 PM.
His stomach jumped, day shift report just finished, she could be here any minute now. A hand waved in front of his face and he looked up to see Hobi’s concerned face, “You okay, you spaced out there.” he asked.
Before Jimin had to come up with an excuse there was a light knock and the door opened.
“Good evening!” Nurse Oh called out brightly from the door.
Jimin couldn’t stop the grin that covered his face. “Hani-shi!”
“Oh you have guests, I can come back later to do your vitals if you-“
“No!” Jimin scrambled onto his knees as if preparing to leap off the bed to stop her from leaving. “its fine, they’re just my group mates don’t mind them.”
“Oh, the rest of the boyscouts?” she said and gave each a small bow as Jimin introduced them, “Hello my name is Nurse Oh, I’ve been Jimin-shi’s nurse this week.” The boys bowed back and exchanged knowing glances at the familiar name.
Hobi-hyung slid off the bed and Jungkook stood and backed away stiffly as Hani made her way to Jimin’s bed. Tae only went from lying down to sitting up on the bed.
“Except for yesterday,” Jimin accused, rolling up his sleeve. “What happened yesterday?”
“Oh, I got pulled upstairs, they were short one nurse.” she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm.
“And they had to send you? There was nobody else?”
“No, there was. I volunteered.”
“Whyyyyy?” Jimin knew his voice had come out as a whine, he just couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment.
Hani laughed, “You know I want to work with kids. I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.” Jimin pointed at his own baby face with a pout and Hani giggled, “ That doesn’t count.”
She handed him the oxygen probe to put on his finger, “Do you know how miserable I was yesterday?” he said as she put a temperature probe in his mouth.
“Why? Were you bored?” Jimin nodded. “Did you miss me?” he nodded more furiously and Hani laughed again.
“Who did you have?” she asked pulling the probe out and noting the number.
“Nurse Jung, I thought my arm was going to fall off when she took my blood pressure.” Hani shook her head at him, a small smile on her face. “I’m serious! She didn’t talk save to order me around and glared at me if I so much asked her for anything.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Hani took the blood pressure cuff off his arm and picked up her clipboard to write the numbers down. Jimin screwed up his courage and said.
“You really are the best nurse for me”
No reaction, Hani looked up after a few beats. “Sorry Jimin-shi did you say something?” Jimin flushed and shook his head.
“Okay,” she continued, “it says you may be getting discharged today so I can finally remove the IV you’ve been complaining about.” She pointed at his other arm which had a needle embedded in his skin and taped over for IV access. The initially small irritation had grown until his entire hand pulsed in pain with each move, it had been a sore point for him this week and he’d made that known.
Nurse Oh put her clipboard down and leaned over him to remove the IV. Jimin took the opportunity to study her up close. She had freckles on her nose, how cute, he’d never noticed that before. “All done, I’ll let you get back to your visit with your friends. See you later. It was nice to meet you all.” She gave a quick nod to the others and walked out.
There was a charged silence after she left and Jimin realized his mistake immediately. The other boys’ faces ranged from incredulous (Jungkook), to shock (Hobi), different levels of humour from the hyungs on the couch, and pure unadulterated -Christmas came early- joy on Taehyungs,
“What,” Yoongi-hyung spoke up first, “was that?”
“Yeah Jimin,” Tae choked out next to him, “what was that!” his last word came out in a squawk as Taehyung dissolved into elated laughter, Jin’s high pitched laugh echoed with Namjoon’s deep chuckle in the background. As Yoongi and Hosoek grinned widely. Jimin felt his neck get hot as he flushed.
“It was nothing, I just get along well with her thats all.” He said defensively.
Hosoek grabbed Jungkook’s arm and said in a high falsetto, “Jimin-shi did you miss me?”
Jungkook jumped readily into the role saying in a deeper satoori tinged falsetto, “you really are the only nurse for me!” Their imitations set everyone off again.
“She doesn’t sound like that and I definitely don’t sound like that you jerk.” He looked down at Tae who was rolling around on the bed and struggling to breathe through his laughter. “Are you done Tae Tae?”
“I can’t…when she…your face!”
“I’m really curious now as to what you were up to when we weren’t here,” Namjoon-hyung piped up. Hobi and Jungkook started up again instantly.
“Jimin-shi let me take your temperature!”
“Can’t you see I’m burning up for you ey?”
Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon howled with laughter and Taehyung rolled off onto the floor in a fit of giggles.
“Nothing! Nothing happened!” Jimin shouted, red faced, over the din, “And would you two stop it!” he threw a pillow at Hosoek and Jungkook who had pulled each other into an elaborate embrace on the chair next to the bed. “Quiet!” They were all noisy enough to be heard outside, Jimin swore he saw a shadow at the door.
“Do you like her?” Jin asked when most of the room had quieted down, though Tae was still somewhere on the floor snickering.
“What?”
“That nurse, do you like her?” Jin repeated. Jimin opened his mouth only to close it again. It was one thing to admit it to himself. It was another matter to say it out loud. Especially to this crowd.
Tae sprung up out of nowhere to plop himself back on the bed, “Of course he does! Isn’t it obvious?” he said with a wide grin, “You should have seen how he was staring at her.”
Jimin tried to push Tae off the bed, “Go away, go back to the floor.” Tae ducked his hands, fighting to stay on.
“Because if you do then just date her.”
Jimin and Taehyung froze their scuffle and everyone whipped their head to stare in shock at the eldest member.
“Hyung!” Namjoon cried out.
Young clapped slowly, “Nice. Cool and clean. ‘If you like her, date her’. I’m impressed Jin-hyung.”
It couldn’t be that easy, could it?
“You can’t be serious Hyung.” Namjoon said.
“Why not? It doesn’t say that we can’t date in our contracts.” Jin replied nonchalantly.
“What if a scandal breaks out?” Namjoon pointed out.
“Plus Jimin would never be able to keep it a secret. Our Jimminie can’t lie” Tae added, squeezing Jimin’s cheeks together.
Jimin smacked his hand away, “Why are you still here?”
“I really don’t understand,” said Jungkook, detaching himself from Hoseok.
“Well Kookie,” Hobi started, “when a man meets a woman he wants to have-“
“Not that!” Jungkook interrupted as Taehyung let out a choking laugh, “I really don’t understand what Jimin-hyung see’s in her. She’s very plain looking.” He looked genuinely baffled.
“Yah! Jeon Jungkook!” Jimin exclaimed offended.
“I think she’s cute,” Tae spoke up, instantly moving from enemy to ally.
“Exactly!” Jimin declared, “It’s because you’re not looking carefully. At first she may seem plain but the more you see her the more you notice all her charms. She’s like, like a ladybug. At first you just think that its just another insect but when you look closely you see how beautiful it really is.”
There was a pause long enough for Jimin to realize what he had just said before they all roared with laughter.
“You really have it bad,” Jin said through his amusement.
“That was beautiful Jimin,” Yoongi said with unhidden glee on his face. “Why didn’t you give me those as lyrics?”
Jimin wished he could rewind the last minute, no- the last fifteen minutes of his life.
With tears in his eyes Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jimin’s middle. “Thank you Jimin, for being in my life” he intoned.
“Let go of me.”
“Thank you!”
“Get off Tae!”
“Excuse me,” Standing at the door stood a tall handsome young man in doctors robes. “I’m sorry to interrupt your visit but I need to speak to you.”
Jimin and Tae disengaged from each other and Jimin bowed at the newcomer.
The man bowed back, “My name is Beak Sung Jo, I am a resident working under Dr. Sung. He’s asked me to handle your discharge. I have a few questions I need to ask you, would you prefer we speak in private?”
Jimin marvelled at the offhand dismissal of his friends, “No, its fine they can stay.”
“Understood.” In a cool, brisk professional manner the resident doctor questioned Jimin about his recovery, his pain and any other symptoms.
“When will he be able to come home?” Namjoon asked.
“It takes a few hours to get the discharge orders wrapped up, it should be around 9pm tonight.”
“Is there any risk with him starting to train again?” Taehyung asked, “could he reopen his wound?” Jimin blinked in surprise, it was times like these where Tae’s rapid mood switches gave him whiplash.
“He should pace himself, build his strength back up, but he’s young and healthy so there shouldn’t be any problems. The surgery went very smoothly, there’s a less than 0.1% chance of the wound re-opening.”
“Were you the one that did his surgery?” Yoongi asked. Dr. Beak nodded and the boys made a chorus of impressed noises. “If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?”
“I’m twenty-three years old.” the resident replied. Wow, only a year older than himself Jimin thought.
“And you already started your residency?” Namjoon asked.
“I’m actually in my final year of my residency.” The boys were suitably impressed. Not only did this man rival Jin-hyung as a visual, but he was apparently a genius as well.
“Then if you don’t have anymore questions-“
There was a knock on the door and Hani entered the room, she stopped short when she saw the resident. “Su- Dr. Beak what are you doing here?” she asked.
The resident seemed surprised to see her as well, at least Jimin thought it was surprise. It was hard to tell as the man had very limited facial expressions.
“Sick coverage for Dr. Sung,” he replied.
“Ah,” Hani nodded in understanding before making her way to Jimin with a smile. He automatically grinned back.
“I forgot to ask you earlier Jimin-shi if you were going to order in food for supper or if you were going to have today’s menu?”
The resident was looking at both of them with an intense unreadable expression on his face.
“We’ll be bringing him in food,” Taehyung said, “He’s complained enough about the food here.”
“What?” Jimin laughed as Hani crossed her arms at him, “It’s not like you’re the one cooking it.”
“You’d definitely be complaining about the food if i cooked it trust me,” Hani said with a laugh. “I’ll let the kitchen know.”
“Actually,” the resident spoke up, “there’s no need to worry about that. He will be getting discharged before then.”
Jimin blinked, “But dinner is at 6:30 and you said it wouldn’t be until after nine…” his voice trailed off as the resident doctor ignored him to write something on his clipboard.
“Nurse Oh, here are the discharge orders, make sure you confirm them with the head nurse.”
“Understood,” Hani responded, accepting the clipboard.
“Call down to the pharmacy and make sure they are able to prepare all his medication right away.”
“Understood.”
“Double check everything so that there are no mistakes in the discharge process.”
“Understood.”
“And what time is your break so we can have dinner together.”
“Underst- what?” Hani jolted in surprise and Jimin exchanged a shocked glance with Tae, did he just hear the resident correctly?
“What time is your break?” the resident repeated calmly.
“Se-seven”
“Good, meet me in the cafeteria at that time.”
Hani seemed about as capable as Jimin was in understanding what was happening, “wh-what? Why?” she stuttered out.
“Is there something wrong with a man wanting to have dinner with his wife?” the resident replied.
Jimin went shock still at the revelation. Wife? She was a wife?
“But, you said...at work…professional.”
“I know.”
“Then why, all of the sudden?”
“Let’s just say,” the resident doctor met Jimin’s stupefied expression with a little smirk, “I was inspired by a ladybug,” he walked out of the room.
“Ladybug?” Hani repeated in confusion and Jimin wished the floor would open up beneath him and swallow him whole. She bounded out after her husband calling out behind her “See you later Jimin-shi!”
There was a dumbfounded silence in the room and Jimin marveled at his extreme and ongoing bad luck.
“Jimin-ah,” Yoongie gasped, “I think you must have betrayed your country in a past life.”
With that everyone in the room doubled over and forgot to breathe for the next ten minutes.