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Getting into fights was no big deal. A few broken noses here and there weren’t, couldn’t be enough to warrant the introduction of after-school ’ counselling’ to his daily schedule, especially since his new school didn't even have a proper counsellor! According to Rin, at least. He didn’t need new friends, and the fact that he "didn't fit in" didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered nowadays, except for football, but the omega didn’t want to think about the reason why.
Focusing his attention on his most recent annoyance again, he wondered how a math teacher he had met three weeks ago could help him achieve anything. His interactions with the one he was expected to pour out his heart to had been, unsurprisingly, incredibly limited up until this point. Math wasn’t particularly important to him, never has been, never will be. Why should he waste his energy trying to excel in the classroom when he could be saving it up for the field? Most people’s thought process regarding school didn’t make sense to him, probably because his goals ( and ability to achieve them, he wasn’t a senseless dreamer ) were as normal as his current relationship with his brother. Wait, that didn’t sound right.
The point is, he knew exactly three things about Isagi Yoichi, the alpha who had been appointed to waste several hours of his life. Hours that were better spent figuring out new ways he could defeat Nii-chan Itoshi Sae.
Number one, he taught math. Pretty evident. He also (allegedly, Rin had never seen him do this) helped their football team during practice when their coach couldn’t make it, but he is not counting that as a fact.
Number two, he was younger than most of his other teachers, but he wasn’t sure of his exact age. Not that he had ever cared to find out until this moment, but his lack of knowledge here was starting to bug him.
Number three, he was friendly to the point where a less well-behaved class would have started blurring the line of how they treated him compared to their friends, and the alpha also constantly tried to help them improve. Rin didn’t want to improve, as he was content with his almost below-average math skills.
The universe was unfair and cruel, and because of that fact, his place on the team was in jeopardy unless he actually attended these make-shift therapy sessions. So, after his last class of the day, while everyone else was going home, you could find the dark-haired omega slowly, furiously, dragging his feet towards a seemingly nondescript classroom.
—
Mr. Isagi was sitting at his desk, organising papers, when the hurricane that is Itoshi Rin walked in. The student slammed the door before putting, well, furiously dropping his bag on the floor.
‘’ I don’t want to talk to you. There is nothing to discuss. I’m fine. Can I leave now?’’ Rin said. His tone was blunt, harsh, and judging based on his words alone, you couldn’t tell he was talking to a teacher. Isagi has dealt with plenty of difficult students in his two years of teaching here, but nobody had such a recalcitrant attitude as the omega standing in front of him.
‘’ I don't- I don’t want to talk right now’
‘’ That’s fine. I just want you to know that I am here if you ever need anything. I can help you accommodate if you want, anytime.’’ In an ideal world, the person sitting in front of him and eyeing him up and down would have started opening up. Rin was someone who no longer believed in ideal worlds, not since the snow had swolled him whole.
'' I want to go home.''
'' You can leave anytime you want, but if you do, an additional session will be added next week, and you might have to skip practice to attend it. I will also have to notify your coach, which could endanger your spot on the team-''
''You can't do that!''
What remained of him without football? He might as well die in his room, like nii-chan said that other time, because he had nothing else to live for.
'' I don't want to do this to you either, but this is the protocol we have to follow. But we don't have to talk about everything today, you know. I'm going to ask you a single question, and afterwards, you are free to leave. How does that sound?''
Teen angst had adult-enforced limits, unfortunately, and Isagi took the others' lack of both response and movement as a 'yes'.
'' Why do you dislike your classmates?'' were the words said with a comforting smile and soft tone, one that should annoy Rin more than it actually does. According to him, anyway. The answer was simple: he wasn't interested in getting to know the ones who tried to talk to him, and he refused to let the ones who annoyed or antagonised him win. He told the teacher and started getting ready to leave.
'' You see, human connections are crucial to helping you develop. Where are you going?'' Isagi knew, he knew that one interaction wasn't going to change the student's demeanour, but he didn't expect him to use the literal meaning of his words against him. Did he say that Rin could leave after giving him one answer? Yes. Was he supposed to disappear immediately after, without hearing his advice? No, not really. Isagi decided to cut his losses and leave him alone. There was always next week.
A weird feeling ( that was promptly ignored) started brewing in Rins' stomach as he walked out. Guilt or shame, perhaps? A desire to please? If only he had thought about it more before practice and football took over his brain again.
-
Rin could be less bothered by the fact that he was barely making any progress in these sessions. Hooray for bare minimum! Their initial negotiations became a habit, and while Rin was losing more and more ground each time, it wasn't enough to make a dent in the ice wall that surrounded his heart. The weird feeling remained (and once he even thought Isagi might actually care about him), but Rin chalked it up to the fact that Itoshi Saes' birthday was approaching. Because they still weren't talking, and a small part of him still wished they were. The frozen and the dead couldn't destroy everything.
They were going to talk today. He was going to receive a response to the text he sent and they were going to be happy so so happy like they used to be and he was he was he was he was but then the hours passed and then the days and for the first time he wanted to talk to someone that would understand why he didn't love him anymore.
-
Isagi was startled by a knock. A strange knock, as the session was supposed to start in 30 minutes, and Rin was at least 20 minutes late every time. A sad, tired, softer voice asked if he could come in, and because of that, the teacher decided to forgo the conversation about punctuality this time.
The hurricane had red eyes today, and Isagi could almost see the cascade (cause unknown) that was destroyed with a tissue moments prior.
'' What happened? We can start early today if you want, I don't mind.'' The smile he put on didn't lessen the hurt in the student's eyes.
'' I have a problem… and I don't have anyone to talk to about it.'' This sad, beautiful, tragic painting in front of him still sounded destroyed by life, and Isagi couldn't help but notice the way his lashes absorbed incoming tears. The only thing on his mind was: 'What happened here?'
‘’I've been having… issues? with my older brother. It was his birthday a couple of days ago, and he refused to talk to me. We were so close when we were younger, and now I think he hates me and-’’ A sob cut off the rest of that sentence, and whilst handing a tissue, Isagi was trying to think what he knew about the alpha he was talking about.
Isagi had heard of Itoshi Sae before; what Japanese football fan hadn’t? Japan’s prodigy, scouted by Re Al before he finished middle school. He was 19 or 20 years old at the time, and the alpha still remembers the way his heart stung when he realised his dream was truly over. Now, he found fulfilment in helping his students achieve their dreams. It was never going to happen anyway; he hadn’t been good enough, but watching and occasionally playing the sport with old friends was still fun. He got over it. But based on his suffering, Rin was not going to 'get over' this conflict.
So he started asking questions. Did they fight the last time they talked? Yes. He learned a dream was 'destroyed', but he was only working on one part of the situation, with no actual knowledge of how exactly he was supposed to deal with anything beyond petty fights and anti-social behaviour.
'' He- He said looking at me made him want to throw up! And he didn't come home that night, and I thought I wanted to destroy him in football, but now I just want him to love me again. Is that so hard?''
Sobs were echoing through the classroom. His opinion about Sae was going down, but he needed to keep in mind that the other party was, well, also a teenager.
'' That is very difficult to deal with, and I promise I will figure out a way to help. Your feelings about this situation are not unusual, you know? But, in the meantime, you should talk to your parents about this. Do they know?'' Isagi said, believing this to be very sensible advice.
''No! I can't tell them anything; they think I'm weird and mean and moody. He helped me deal with mom and dad, and he would comfort me when they yelled, but he doesn't do that anymore!''
'' I don't think you're weird. You are just behaving like a teenager; it's completely normal. Is there something you're not telling me?''
'' Well, um, before he left we… You can't tell anyone about this, promise?''
Gaining and maintaining trust was mandatory if he wanted to actually help Rin. He cared about him, maybe a little more than his other students, and he sincerely wanted him to succeed. So he promised not to say anything. What could he say, really? How bad could it be?
'' We used to share a bed and… bathe together until he left. And I think I've always been in love with him, and we kissed and did things before hw left.''
He was not expecting that, and maybe it could be that bad. His promise didn't even matter anymore, as nobody would believe him if he said anything, and this information could destroy two careers. The careers of two exceptional players. Fuck him.
'' Are you mad? Am I just broken or something?'' Rin said, before becoming almost paralysed. He couldn't believe he just told someone the secret, and he was shocked that his teacher's face didn't really change. Maybe…
'' I'm not mad and you're not broke, please don't think like that. Thank you for telling me. Um, I'll just think of a plan and talk to you later. You can leave now.'' Isagi truly didn't know what to say, so he decided that comforting her now would be the best course of action.
'' Okay, thank you for listening.''
The weird feeling came once again, and for the first time, he knew what it was. It was love. Had to be, I mean, why would he look and talk to him like that if he didn't like him back? All that was left to do now was to find out everything he could. So they could be so so so happy and-
-
The omega, once so reluctant to approach, seemed to search for him every day now. All day, to be exact.
His newly discovered interest in math originally made the alpha feel joy, as helping his students was what had enticed him first about teaching, but as their extra-help sessions went on and his tutoring spot became filled with Rin's name more often than not, Isagi had started to realise that the other wasn't more interested in traditional learning than before.
Slowly, but surely, questions became more personal, breaks between exercises longer, and necklines lower. He might have hallucinated this moment; he wasn't sure, maybe he did, hopefully to be exact, but his mind remembers seeing Rin pushing the pencil he was chewing on far lower down his throat than was necessary.
The crux of the issue lay in the fact that he felt a certain, biological, let's say, 'instinct-driven' maybe, attraction towards the teal-eyed omega. He was beautiful, tall, with hidden layers and depths Isagi desperately wanted to explore, but simply shouldn't couldn't in his current situation. If only they had met in different circumstances, preferably sometime in the far future, where he wouldn't go to jail if he accepted the student's advances. Or in another universe where they were born in years that started with the same number. Or one where he didn't have to feel the striker's hands looking for an excuse to slightly touch him and find his scent all over his things, the window of opportunity where that happened being a mystery to him.
He needed to find a way out.
-
They said that what prompted the school to appoint him as the new football coach, before finding a permanent replacement, was based on student feedback. His supervisor added that one player in particular pushed for him to get the job. Unfortunately, Isagi had someone in mind.
As soon as he steps onto the field, cerulean eyes meet teal, and Isagi knows he is done for.
'' Could you please help me stretch, Mr. Isagi? Our old coach used to do that…'' said the omega, while slightly tilting his head. Isagi realises that he was bad at flirting (and lying) as well when he was a teenager, but that doesn't stop him from cringing at the sight in front of him. But he also notices that his shorts seem hiked up and his thighs-
Guilt rushes through his veins before he can finish that thought, and in that moment, he decides to quit doing club work after today, as he might not survive till the end of the school year.
''Really? Because I heard that you prefer to be alone even here.'' Isagi tried to be kind, but he was also tired of this song and dance that kept happening.
'' Yes… I don't think I can do this exercise by myself, and I don't trust the guys on my team to help. I trust you…''
Isagi thinks he was trying to sound… sultry? Sexy? But the actual moment was stuck in a limbo space between a parody film and a barely legal porno. Sensing that the omega was going to try to grab his arm at the end of his sentence, the not-so-qualified coach took a step back and left Rin's arm hanging in the air.
This was going to be a long, gruelling practice session, and the boner he got after spending 10 minutes with his hands on Rin's thighs didn't help either.
-
After their last session, which was now more of an excuse for Rin to flirt and tempt him, he noticed that something dropped out of his bag as he left. And curiosity got the better of him.
It was a black notebook with nothing written on the front. No name, no class and no other information available at first glance. Isagi knew that he wasn’t supposed to look inside, but he couldn't help himself. If Rin were like any other one of his students, this situation wouldn’t have even happened. He saw it fall to the ground and did nothing. Maybe a part of him knew it was in his best interest to collect some information, even though he was probably betraying the omega's privacy.
But what he found couldn’t be that bad, right? It might not even be a diary; he remembers having plenty of notebooks through high school full of football strategies and to-do lists. Additional notes and doodles, plenty of unimportant words on paper, words that wouldn't change anyone's opinion about anything. So he opened it.
Unfortunately, it seemed to be a diary. Not having enough time to look through all of it, he decided to pick pages at random and read them.
October 10
It’s Nii-chan's birthday today. He didn’t answer my call or my texts, and I don’t know what to do. I guess he still hates me. Maybe I can talk to Isagi about it. He will understand, he always does. I think I really like him now.
October 27
I managed to find a photo of his parents online. His facial features are very similar to his mother's, but the picture is in black and white, so I’m not sure what colour exactly her hair and eyes are. I want to get an accurate idea of what our future babies could look like, but the fact that his Facebook profile is private is making this difficult. I haven’t found an Instagram account yet, but I’ll keep looking. If I figure out who his friends are, maybe I’ll find it. It probably doesn’t have his real name in it. I wonder if he’ll fall for a fake profile… or I could take his phone and accept it myself… We’ll see.
November 1
I was in the office today, but I was alone in there for some time, so I started looking through files, and I found something! His address was written down, obviously, and now I know where he lives. He has an event next week, maybe I’ll visit the property then.
And they went on and on, getting worse as more time passed.
November 2
I asked if he had any plans after school today, and he said all teachers have to go to a meeting. I know he isn’t allowed to hang out with me outside of school hours, but it still hurts. Well, if he’s not home, might as well take some pictures of his house. I wonder if he left anything outside. I want to know everything about him.
November 3
I forgot to write about what progress I made yesterday. The house is not very big, but it looks nice. Warm, inviting. I wouldn’t mind living there with him. There weren’t any personal items outside, but his trash cans were out in the open, so I looked through them. The only thing of value I found was some bills and notes. I think I’ll keep them forever. I wonder if he has girls over. I hate that thought. He must have a spare key, but I haven’t found it yet. I’ll look for it again another time, and now I only have pictures of the outside of the house. The neighbourhood is quiet and empty; nobody noticed me. Raising children there would be nice, I think.
November 6
I heard they are looking for someone new to act as a coach for us. Luckily for me, they are considering our opinion. I nominated Yoichi for the job; he must be qualified, right? He played when he was younger, and he knows a lot about it. And I could spend more time with him. Today I fantasised about us in the locker room because of that. Why does he ignore my advances? Alphas always say teen omegas are the best, so why doesn’t he want me? Maybe he’s scared he’ll lose his job, but I’d never tell anyone. Well, at least if he becomes our coach, he’ll see me in shorts. Maybe that will help.
November 9
He has a girlfriend. I saw pictures of them together on her account. What does she have that I don’t? Am I too tall? I hate her. I think I can figure out where she lives if I try hard enough, and then I could-
That was the moment he stopped reading.
-
Dear Mr. Principal,
Please accept this letter as formal notification of my intention to resign from my position. My final day will be December 16th.
I would like to thank you for the opportunity to have worked in the position for the past two years. I have learned a great deal during my time here and have enjoyed collaborating with my colleagues. I will take a lot of what I have learned with me in my career and look back at my time here as a valuable period of my professional life.
During the next week, I will do what I can to make the transition as smooth as possible and will support in whatever way I can to hand over my duties to colleagues or my replacement. Please let me know if there is anything further I can do to assist in this process.
Sincerely,
Yoichi Isagi
It seemed good enough. All that he needed to find now was a reason for his resignation and a new place to live. For a moment, he considered moving back to his home town, but Rin could definitely find him there. He looked through his Facebook and Instagram, and lo and behold, he found profiles in his followers tab that he didn’t remember approving.
This unfortunate discovery had made him lose track of time, so before he could drop off this letter and skip town, he had to drop off some documents. He only realised he had left the door unlocked when he returned to a flipped-over desk in the middle of a paper storm, and in that moment, he knew he needed to disappear immediately.
-
He entered his dark, cold home to be greeted with the sound of glass breaking and frantic footsteps. And a piercing scream accompanied the storm that was destroying everything in sight.
''I thought you loved me!'' The omega's eyes were bloodshot, and his movements had the elegance of a hurricane, but in the dark room, Isagi couldn't see him properly, nor could he figure out what to say.
'' I do like you, but-''
''And I've seen the way you look at me at school! Why can't you- why can't you stay…''
The moment he noticed the knife in his hands was when he gripped Isagi so tightly he almost couldn't breathe anymore. The student's sobbing was making him shake, and over the counter, he saw a note. A murder-suicide note.
''I do love you, I really do, but with me working at your school and your age, we, um, we are going to have to hide-''
His brain was going into overdrive.
'' But I really, really want to be with you. I promise.''
'' Really?''
Isagi could see the storm in his eyes parting, and the knife hit the ground.
''Really.''