Chapter Text
*The rain was pouring hard as an orange Dodge Charger roared through the city streets as a blonde man in a tight black polo shirt gripped the wheel like the neck of a strangled assassin. The Player sat in the back of the car, nonplussed as Brock Samson skidded this way and that. Eventually, the ride ended as the car screeched to a halt, right in front of a building known simply as ‘The Inventory’. As the Player stepped out, Samson rolled down his window, leaning on the side of the door and giving them a knowing look.*
Brock: Enjoy the game, kid. Knock ‘em dead. Or don’t. I still remember how much cash ya took from me last time, ya mute prick.
*The Player merely nods in response, before exiting the car, looking around the ever-familiar old alley as they make their way to the back entrance, the sound of Brock's Charger peeling out filling the air. The Player raises their hand and knocks on the door of the Inventory. The door swings open, revealing a six-foot tall dog wearing a trench coat. Recognizing the figure at the door, he gives a friendly wave.*
Sam: Well I’ll be! We didn’t think you’d show up for another game! Especially after… y’know.
Sam - Sam and Max
Sam: C'mon inside, it’s wetter than me after a fifty mile car ride. And it smells almost as bad.
*The Player follows Sam indoors, thankful to get out of the terrible weather. The building had clearly seen better days, but it was obvious the staff had done their best to present it as close to its peak as they could. Sam pushed open one of the walls, revealing the ever-familiar game hall of the Inventory. The talking dog turned and gave the Player a wink and a smile.*
Sam: I hope you weren’t wanting to play me or Max in a game of cards tonight. We’re just here since Reggie was kind enough to offer us a place to stay after Telltale went kaput. Still, if ya need us, just give us a holler! We’ll be at the bar. Well, I’ll be at the bar. Max will be wherever he pleases. Probably breaking stuff.
*Sam waves the Player off, heading off to grab himself something to eat. As he does so, a short man wearing a sailor’s cap walks up to the Player, beaming at the sight of an old friend.*
Winslow: Aha! Glad to see you’ve made it! I was beginning to worry no one would show up. You’re the first to arrive, which I admit is surprising given your track record…
Commodore Reginald Van Winslow (Retired) - Monkey Island
Winslow: Regardless, it’s always a pleasure to see your familiar, albeit perpetually hard to remember, face, my friend. The Inventory may have hit a hard bump in the road, as it were, but we’re proud to say that we’ve returned with a flourish! Now then… your seat.
*Winslow gestures towards a table in the center of the room, with five seats all gathered around it. The Player takes their spot at the fifth seat, and idly begins to look around. As per usual, Moxxi is running the bar, and Sam and Max can be seen walking around doing… whatever it is they do. As the seconds pass, Winslow looks at his watch irritably.*
Winslow: Honestly, must everyone be late tonight? I would rather hope they would have learned to be punctual-
???: BRAAAAAAAP!
*Before Winslow could finish his complaint, a loud burp echoed throughout the Inventory. The source of the noise was a large grey-skinned behemoth of a man, his head devoid of hair, save for the large bushy beard on his face. A large axe hung over his shoulder as he let out a bored yawn.*
Grog: Sorry, I got lost trying to find this place. And then I got distracted by the hot lady with the nice rack serving the food and drinks. And then I got lost lookin’ for more food.
Grog Strongjaw - Critical Role
Winslow: Ah! Splendid! The first of our new players has arrived. I can assure you, Mister Strongjaw, provided you have the required finances for our entertainment, the libations and the sustenance shall flow like gilded honey.
Grog: …what?
Winslow: *sigh* You can eat and drink as much as you want so long as you have the money to play the game.
Grog: Fuckin’ awesome!
*Grog eagerly takes a seat at the fourth chair, setting his axe next to him as he grins towards the Player cockily.*
Grog: Can’t wait to beat your nerdy ass and get rich! Scanlan, Pike, and me are gonna party like every day’s our birthday!
???: WAAAAAAAH!
*Suddenly, a portal opened above the poker table, and a red-jacketed android with white spiky hair fell out from it, followed by a black humanoid creature with strange neon accents. The android quickly got to his feet, before firing multiple rounds into the creature, until the monster vanished into rainbow particles. The robot let out a sigh of relief, before turning to the rest of the table.*
Billy: Phew. Ethereals, am I right?
Billy Kid - Zenless Zone Zero
Winslow: Well now, our third player has made himself available! And in quite the dynamic entrance!
Billy: Hah! Yeah, sorry about that, I was busy doing some side work in a Hollow. Luckily for me this place is apparently connected to one of ‘em!
Winslow: Am I to take it that means that there are more of those ‘Ethereals’ to interrupt our game with?
Billy: …nooooooo?
Winslow: Hmm. I suppose we’ll have to get that ‘Hollow’ looked at. The zombies are enough of a problem as is.
*With Winslow satisfied, Billy holsters his pistols and hops over the table, taking a seat next to Grog. The Goliath smiles at the newcomer and eagerly slugs the robot in the arm, causing him to wince. As the robot gets settled in, another figure walks in from the shadows. A scraggly-looking man dressed in a rumpled white shirt and brown slacks made his way over from the bar, taking a drag from his cigarette.*
Bigby: Sorry I’m late. The case went on a bit longer than usual. Prince Charming’s dumb ass didn’t really help at all.
Bigby Wolf - Fables
Winslow: Ah! Good to see you, Bigby, old chap! Don’t worry about the time, the others just arrived mere moments before.
*The Big Bad Wolf merely grunted as he took another drag from his cigarette as he looked over the other two players at the table. Grog was picking something out of his teeth, while Billy looks up at Bigby in surprise.*
Billy: Wow, they even let PubSec play cards in this place?
Bigby: What? Gotta problem with me, tin can?
Billy: Hahahaha… nope! No problem at all! Pleasedon’thurtme.
*Bigby snorts derisively in Billy’s direction, before taking the seat next to the Intelligent Construct, who lets out a nervous breath.*
Winslow: Excellent! That’s four players at the table! All that remains is our last, who, according to our security team, should be here riiiiiiight… now!
???: Hey, hey, easy on the merchandise! WHOA!
*All eyes turned to the entrance as Sam walks into the room, carrying a rather large man covered head to toe in futuristic metal armor painted a dark orange. Standing next to him was Max, the white rabbit eagerly baring his bear trap-like teeth at the Player.*
Sam: Finally found the big fella six layers deep in the seven layer dip. Sorry about the holdup, homies.
Max: Sam, seriously, you gotta stop saying that.
*Sam shrugs, before chucking the armored soldier in the direction of the Player, where he lands in a heap. The new arrival groans in pain as he holds his aching back, before dusting his armor off and taking the last spot at the table.*
Grif: Sheesh… I figured a place this nice would’ve learned to be more gentle with the customers.
Dexter Grif - Red Vs Blue
Winslow: Apologies, Mister Grif, but the game needed to begin soon. After all, it’d be rude to keep the others waiting while you stuffed your face at the all you can eat buffet, no?
Grif: Tch. Whatever. I was just about done anyways.
Grog: There’s a buffet?! Aw, man, I knew there was more food!
Winslow: Regardless, with the arrival of Grif, our four players have arrived. But of course, what is a game of poker without a dealer? Granted, our usual dealer is unfortunately busy with ‘science-based activities’, as it were. So for this game, we have a new host selected for the game based on her ever-sarcastic recommendation.
*Just as Winslow finishes his sentence, a burst of magic and confetti explodes atop the table, revealing Caine, a humanoid figure clad in an extravagant red suit and black hat, bearing a set of giant teeth and eyes for a head.*
Caine: That’s my cue, my fleshy new performers!
Caine - The Amazing Digital Circus
Grif: Oh, great…
Bigby: What the-?!
Billy: Huh?!
Grog: Ooooooh!
*Grif hangs his head in exasperation as Bigby and Billy take defensive postures. Meanwhile, Grog eagerly claps at the dramatic entrance, to which Caine begins bowing at the applause.*
Caine: Thank you, thank you! Your noises of bewilderment are all I ever wanted to hear!
Winslow: I shall leave the rest of the affairs in the capable hands of our digital friend here. Ta!
Caine: Alright, the name’s Caine, folks, and tonight we have a game of No-Limit Texas Hold-‘em! Buy-in is thirty thousand dollars, so I hope you all are big spenders!
Grif: What?! Thirty thousand?! I thought this was a twenty grand game!
Caine: Well, you thought wrong, my little orange friend! Ol’ Slow-Mo back there said that the Inventory needed to escalate the stakes since it’s been so long since the place opened its doors, so he added another ten big ones to the pile to spice up your sad, sad lives!
Bigby: Fine by me. Just means that there’s more for me to walk away with.
*Bigby smirks as he tosses in a wad of cash. Billy soon follows after he manages to scrounge together some extra money from his jacket pockets.*
Billy: I was hoping I’d get to spend this on additions to the Girls, but hey, I’ll be able to spend even more if I win!
*Seeing the others put in their wagers, Grog pulls out a large sack of gold coins and slams it on the table.*
Grog: Get ready to fund my drinks for the next week! Week and a half even!
*Realizing that nobody else was protesting the change, Grif sighs, before tossing in his own wads of cash.*
Grif: Fine. Not like I had much else planned for the night.
*Once all the other poker players contribute to the pot, the Player tosses in their own wad of cash. The money is then gathered up by Caine, and several poker chips manifest on each player’s part of the table with a snap of his fingers, before a deck of cards is shuffled mid-air and dealt to all the players. The Player can’t help but smile as they look down at their hand. It was good to be back.*