Chapter Text
That girl was a slave the moment she was born.
Being the daughter of a slave, a golden-haired, green-eyed, European slave bought by a Persian merchant, the first two years of her life were spent traveling the world in a caravan; drifting from place to place, to more lands than most could recite, before she herself could even recite anything at all.
Eventually, they would end up in the distant far-eastern island called Japan. Her merchant master traveled there to do some trade, and as always, brought her, her mother, and a few others with him.
However, only around a month after their arrival, a sudden earthquake rocked the mountain their caravan was passing through, setting off an avalanche that threw them all down a steep valley.
That was her first ever memory:
Of the rocks crackling as the last of the boulders rolled from above, missing her entirely.
Of the thick smoke emanating from the fallen earth, making it difficult to breathe,
Of how cold it was, how wet the ground was,
Of being unable to do anything but sit there, surrounded by corpses stuck under the rubble, and cry profusely.
Of not really understanding anything besides wanting to be comforted and wanting warmth; instinctively, she thought crying would bring that.
But nothing happened. She didn’t get any comfort, and that made her cry even more.
Eventually though, out of the corner of her blurry vision, she saw movement that wasn’t just the trees swaying in the wind.
It was the Persian merchant; it was her master.
He slowly crawled over, took off his Persian garb, then wrapped it around her. Warmth crawled over her shoulders and back. It was not as warm as a hug, but it comforted her.
And the world was quiet.
The only sounds were coming from the leaves and the Persian merchant, who, beset by labored breaths, kept repeatedly calling out a particular word for hours on end, until the moment he died.
That word was ‘Parsa’,
His homeland.
**
For the next two days, the girl stayed in that ravine; crying out everything she could, even as she grew hungry and thirsty.
Her cries echoed throughout the valley.
Despite the misfortune of her situation, she was fortunate enough to not have been heard and eaten by any animals. She was especially fortunate that it was human travelers who first heard her; travelers who were also planning to set up camp in the area anyway, and therefore had time to check.
After setting camp, part of the traveling group decided to trek down the ravine to find the source of those distant cries.
Their jaws dropped the moment their eyes found it.
Surrounded by splintered wood and body parts jutting out of the earth, sat that little 2 year old child, completely unscathed.
But more than that, the travelers were surprised by the child’s blonde hair and emerald eyes; they were features they’d never seen before.
Immediately, a debate ensued. Should they take the child, or should they leave it alone?
“Look at it! It's clearly cursed. Or perhaps...it’s a Youkai disguised as a child...trying to prey on our kindness. Whatever it is, it’s clearly the cause of whatever disaster happened here.” some of the argued, “There’s no way a child could survive in this valley. Besides, this is eerily akin to the start of every folk tale, and I’m not going to be part of that.”
Others disagreed. Especially, after a little investigation, they found that the other corpses looked foreign too, and there were documents that stated they were Persian. “Those traits are simply foreign traits. Yeah, not every corpse here looks like that, but one woman does. They are probably mother and child…”
“...really though?” they asked, giving weary glances to the child. “Yellow hair and green eyes... that’s too unnatural to just be foreign traits. Besides, what if both the mother and the child was cursed? Shouldn’t we just...play it safe? It’s unfortunate, but...we can’t risk the lives of everyone back at camp. We have children waiting for us to come home.”
They stood at a crossroads. But then, their leader fearlessly went to the child and picked it up. His hands shook, but he kept steady. “Cursed or foreign, we can’t leave a child here to die. We’ll take her to camp, give her food, and let the entire group decide.”
A temporary solution everyone agreed to. After all, underneath the arguments, they all pitied the child. And so, after taking note of what they saw and looting anything valuable they could carry, they began their trek back to their campsite.
And the child stopped crying.
It scared a few. They felt it was eerie how the child became so calm all of a sudden.
Others, though, believed the child was simply tired. Either it had finally run out of energy to cry, or perhaps it was comforted by the rescue.
A few tried to speak to it: to comfort it, to cheer it up. But the child simply responded with the same word over and over, as if it knew no other: “Parsee… Parsee…”
Some believed it was some spell or signal, others believed it was just some foreign word.
In the end, they reached the camp with no issues, surprising the trekkers. Of course, the travelers back at camp were surprised, too: by the child’s appearance. Blanketed by the warm light of campfire, the same debate continued, well into the night, consisting of the same arguments. The trekkers, though, now had a different tone: “We made it back unharmed, right?” they argued. But it wasn’t proof enough to tip the scales. The next day, they needed to leave, they needed to come to a conclusion.
So they forced themselves to reach one: it would be cruel to abandon the child, but it would be foolish to believe its innocence. So they would take the child to the next village, and they would decide what to do with it there.
They left the child to the care of a certain man and his wife: the Mizuhashi couple. The missus was the only woman in their group, and everyone believed the child would be happier taken care of by a woman.
The couple didn’t like it. They were among those who believed the child was cursed. However, they had no choice but to go along with what the collective had decided. “It’s only for the time being.”
As the group packed up, the missus Mizuhashi picked up the child, and was immediately hit by its emerald eyes staring deeply at her own, all while it repeated ‘Parsee…Parsee…’
Her hands shook. She bit her lips. But she could not complain. All she could do was repeat what the others told them. ‘It’s only for the time being…it’s only for the time being…’
And so the travelers went.
**
“Parsee.”
Throughout their journey, the child repeated that word so many times the group ended up using it as her nickname.
Besides that, the journey was uneventful. The curse child theory became less credible, though a few remained wary. Better safe than sorry, they argued.
They eventually reached their destination: the Mizuhashi couple’s home village. Many days prior, the couple traveled to the nearby city to get supplies for the village. They tagged along with this traveling group on their way back for safety in greater numbers. Having returned home, the couple would part with the group. Meanwhile, the group planned to rest in this village for a few days before continuing their journey.
There was a slight complication with that.
They still didn't know what to do with the child they found; this “Parsee” child.
Nobody wanted to take care of her. The traveling group especially didn’t. Cursed or not, taking care of a child while traveling was an added risk. They only took the child with them because they didn’t want to just abandon it on the side of the road.
The villagers, too, didn't want a potentially cursed child on their hands, yet pitied the child and didn’t want to just throw it away. That said, they certainly were more scared than sympathetic.
Meetings were planned, were filled with the same arguments, and reached no conclusion. The travelers eventually had to depart, leaving the child in the village, in the Mizuhashi family’s home, ‘temporarily’.
And this temporary measure, like many temporary measures, ended up becoming permanent.
Throughout the years, they would attempt to give the child to passing travelers, and they would occasionally travel to the city to find people who might want to take care of her. But nobody wanted to.
Anyone in this era would be suspicious if some stranger offers to give them a strange child with features they've never seen before.
The people back in their village were also uneasy about the child, so they asked any passing Buddhist monks and Shinto priests and Daoists to check her. Yet they all said the same inconclusive thing in some form or another: that the child wasn’t cursed, but had the potential to bring great misfortune in the future.
Obviously, that did not help ease anyone’s worries. Rather, it just annoyed the villagers. How can a child not be cursed, yet have the effect of being cursed?
“So is the kid cursed or not?” Such frustrated questions acquired no true answer. And so the situation of the child remained uncertain, even after endless purifications by priests and monks.
And since the fears were not allayed, they only festered. They weren't scared outright, rather, they were wary; whenever they saw her, they didn’t ‘avoid at all costs’, but ‘better to avoid just in case’.
With the lack of superstitious malice, the child was not thrown away. She was not killed.
But she was not accepted, either. She was still avoided. There was no lack of superstitious wariness.
She grew up in that village; a village deep in the mountains, lined by a small river on one side, all while standing in that vague boundary; that bridge in-between.
She also technically had no name. So the temporary nickname people used for her, “Parsee”, ended up becoming her name. She became known as “Parsee” of the “Mizuhashi” family.
**
Over the years, no pity overcame the wariness. And so, the isolation it brought defined Parsee’s life.
The Mizuhashi family, her temporary caretakers, were no better. They did only what was needed to maintain their moral standing within the community. They simply tucked her away in the corner of their home, with whatever clothes and food and blanket they could spare, enough that she seemed healthy and comfortable.
They did not want the villagers to believe they were cruel. They did not want to believe themselves to be cruel.
But they did not love Parsee at all. None in their family did.
They didn't hate her or anything. They never abused her.
They just didn't care. They avoided her. Rather than love or hate, they felt apathy and fear.
As such, despite living with what was essentially a foster family, Parsee never had anyone she could call ‘mother’ or ‘father’ or ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ or ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa’ or ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’.
She had no friends, either.
Parents often told their children to stay away from her. Nobody wanted to risk the safety of their child, even if the threat was baseless rumors.
Unfortunately, their warnings about her led to an unintended consequence.
“Monster! Monster! It's the Green-Eyed Monster!”
Many kids would point at Parsee and shout that every time they saw her. The moment Parsee would turn to them, they'd run away, laughing. A game about running away from Parsee, created from their parents telling them to avoid her. Nobody ever physically bullied Parsee. But she was hurt nonetheless.
The kids’ insults only got worse with time. The parents have, in essence, unintentionally taught them that Parsee was an undesirable; that she was potentially dangerous, that there was no need to treat her fairly, and therefore, she was someone they can do anything with as long as they don't get too close.
That’s not even mentioning her appearance. Even if there was no curse rumor regarding Parsee, her strange appearance made her too different from everyone else. In such a tight-knit, collective community, Parsee would have become an outcast one way or the other.
After all, her golden hair and emerald eyes stayed as she grew; all while the rest of her facial features, which were already different from the other kids, grew even more different as the years passed: she ended up having a much more defined nose than everyone else, for instance.
The other kids would often call it ‘massive’.
Like always, many villagers pitied Parsee. But, like always, nobody lifted a finger.
And that continued on throughout Parsee’s childhood.
And Parsee had no reason to expect any of that to change.
For the longest time, she expected her life to be like that forever. In fact, she expected her life to get even worse. At some point, this child, who was barely eight years of age, was already wondering if she should have been born in the first place; wondering why she should continue living at all. Especially when, in her eyes, this downward trend in her life would never change.
But then, Parsee’s life did change.
**
It started during her early teens, when a traveling merchant couple started visiting their village. Said couple had shifted their trade route to include Parsee's village, among others.
That couple had a son the same age as Parsee. And when they first arrived at the village, Parsee and that boy happened across each other.
Parsee avoided him immediately.
After all, that was what she always did whenever she happened across any kid near her age. It was natural to her by this point.
However, the boy did not react in the way Parsee expected; he did not react to her like any other kid she had ever interacted with.
The boy chased her.
But not by running after her. He didn’t try to catch up and grab her, nor did he shout at her or try to bully her in any way. Instead, he just followed her. Parsee would walk away, thinking that she had lost him, and be surprised when he tries to greet her again, causing her to walk away faster. This would repeat all throughout the day, until eventually, on that bridge that crossed the river that lined the eastern edge of the village…
“Finally caught ya!” the boy playfully said.
Parsee did not respond immediately. Her fists quietly shook: from both confusion and frustration. Eventually, a whisper would escape through her teeth: “...why?”
“Why? That’s what I’m curious about!” the boy said, before suddenly running up to Parsee’s face.
Parsee recoiled, turning away. “Y-you don’t-”
“On top of yellow hair...you have green eyes too!? That’s so cool!”
Parsee’s eyes widened.
“Say, why-”
“Don’t come any closer!” Parsee cut him off. “I-It would be bad for you. Don’t get too close.”
The boy tilted his head. “Why?”
“Wha…? Can’t you see? Look at my hair! Look at my eyes!”
“So?”
“…”
The water flowing beneath them swirled around the bridge’s pillars, filling the silence. The air was chilly.
“...because I’m cursed.”
“Cursed? What curse?”
“I…don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“…”
Suddenly, the boy grabbed Parsee’s hand. “Come on, let’s play!”
Parsee was stunned; those words had never been directed towards her. She only ever heard them from afar, whenever she would watch the other kids gather. And any time Parsee herself asked that question to other kids, she was always pushed away. Or rather, they'd run away.
At this point, she had already accepted she would never get to play or hang out with anyone. That it was just simply her nature to be the kind of person nobody would want to spend any time with; that she deserved to be alone, regardless of her own wishes.
So hearing those words finally being directed at her, experiencing the wish she had long given up on, it stunned Parsee to a still.
She wanted to accept the boy’s request.
She wanted to play.
But…
“No,” fell quietly, hesitantly, out of Parsee's mouth.
“Huh? What did you say?”
Parsee did not respond. Instead, she simply ran away. I...I don’t want to hurt him! Besides, I don’t deserve it anyway…!
Her green eyes were blurred by tears; it made it difficult to see. She almost tripped, but she kept running at full pace.
The boy didn’t run after her.
The next day, said boy and his family left the village.
Parsee thought that was the end of it; that she would never see that boy again. However, only a month later, that merchant family returned. The two of them met again.
This time, though, the boy was prepared. He cornered her on the bridge before she could run away, and before she even knew he was back.
“Y-you again!?” Parsee uttered, her mouth hung.
The boy suddenly began walking up to Parsee. Naturally, Parsee started walking back; taking a step for every time the boy stepped forward. But he eventually reached her, then leaned close to her face.
Parsee turned away.
Then, the boy suddenly grabbed her head then pointed her face straight to him.
Parsee didn't know what to do. Nobody has ever done anything similar to her before. Nobody even so much as touches her for months on end.
So she just froze.
The two of them stared closely at each other; eye-to-eye, face-to-face.
And Parsee saw his determined eyes reading hers.
Then, Parsee noticed the boy’s face slowly shift into confusion. Eventually, he let go of her.
“W-why…” Parsee uttered, “What…what did you do...t-that…?”
“Why do people think you have a curse?”
“...huh?”
“Last month, my parents were told by the villagers to avoid you. But I don’t get it. How does looking like that make you cursed or whatever?” the boy asked, sounding genuinely confused.
“Because…” Parsee’s voice trailed off.
“Because?”
Parsee turned away. “I don’t know,” she muttered, before quietly shuffling away.
Of course, the boy kept following her. And, like before, Parsee kept ignoring and avoiding him.
Unlike before, though, he was unable to catch her. The next day, the boy left with his family.
Then the next month, the boy and his family would return. He attempted to find and meet with Parsee again, while Parsee tried her best to avoid him. Then, the boy’s family would leave the next day, and return the next month, and they both did the same thing again: the boy chased Parsee, Parsee tried to escape.
This same pattern repeated itself for an entire year, every time the boy and his family visited. But it grew more complicated over time:
Parsee often worked at certain parts of the village at certain times. The boy naturally learned that pattern over time and started planning around: anticipating her movements, ‘randomly’ running into her whenever he wanted. Meanwhile, Parsee eventually learned the time and day when the boy’s family would generally arrive, and prepared countermeasures: at first, she simply changed her routes. But when the boy started ambushing her, she started making false trails, making him waste his time lying in wait, and so on.
By the end of the year, it had become this very elaborate and goofy hide-and-seek routine.
But then…
That last month of the year, deep into winter, Parsee waited with her countermeasures like usual. And yet the boy and his family didn’t arrive: not the day they usually arrived, nor the week they usually arrived.
No matter how long Parsee waited at that bridge, the boy did not come. So eventually, she decided to stop waiting.
Parsee started walking back home.
The sound of her feet crunching snow filled the endless quiet.
I guess they’re not visiting this month. It makes sense...traveling in winter is probably really difficult. They might not arrive until spring next year. And that’s if they come back at all…
Parsee’s legs froze in place.
What if they change routes...and never come back?
Parsee’s green eyes wavered for a moment, as her mind’s eye saw flickers of that boy in her memories.
Why...do I feel sad about that?
Deep down, she knew exactly why. Subconsciously, she knew she wanted to see him.
But the moment that fact bubbled to her conscious, she purged it.
“I shouldn’t be getting attached to people. I shouldn’t get too close to people. If I do...I’ll just hurt them with my curse,” she muttered, her breaths puffing vapor. “Especially...him.”
This is fine. This is okay. This is amazing. It’s definitely great. It’s great he didn’t return to the village. In fact, it would probably be best if he never returns. After all, he’s the one person who spent a LOT of time with me, even though I was trying to avoid him. He’s at the most risk from my curse.
“I’m glad,” she loudly pushed out of her mouth. “I’m glad he’s not coming back.”
Her voice quaked with every word.
**
It began snowing later that night.
A stinging deep cold wrapped around everything exposed to the outside dark.
Despite that, Parsee's foster family ordered her to borrow some coals from the neighbors. Without a single complaint, Parsee went out. At least they didn’t tell me to go all the way to the storage house past the river...
Her boots sank into the snow with her every step, and she felt her lungs tingle with every breath, as she struggled towards their neighbor’s house. Arriving at their doorway, she asked to borrow some coals. But their neighbor, as Parsee expected, did not give her any. In fact, they were trying to interact with her as little as possible. Of course…I’m a cursed girl, a green-eyed monster, after all. It’s deep in the night, and usually, monsters grow active at night. Who knows what I might do while collecting their coal? That’s probably what they think…I mean, it could happen.
So without a single complaint, Parsee stepped out into the darkness once again, going to another house, in order to ask a different neighbor.
They, too, didn’t give her any. Without a single complaint, Parsee moved on to the next house, and then the next house, and so on.
Most did not give her any at all. The few that did only gave her some. Her pack basket was barely filled a third of the way through. It was taking way too long. In the end, she was told to just get coals from the village’s community storage house: the one past the river.
And so, without a single complaint, Parsee went.
Luckily though, by this point, the wind had slowed down and the snowfall had gotten gentler. Visibility gradually improved.
Parsee crossed the river, got to the storage house, and filled up her pack basket. By the time she exited the storage house and started her trek back, the visibility had cleared enough that she was able to see all the way from the rice fields to the tall mountains that surrounded the village.
Parsee then got to the bridge and began crossing it. And that was when she saw him:
That boy. From the traveling merchant family.
He’s here.
They crossed paths.
Parsee stopped in her tracks, squinting her eyes. She didn't believe he would be here even though she was subconsciously wishing for it.
Then, she immediately buried those feelings and walked past him; paying him no mind, trying not to think of him.
It’s better that way! She thought to herself, as if telling it to herself.
“Hey!” the boy called.
Parsee ignored him.
Then suddenly, she felt his hand grab her shoulder, which startled her.
“Caught you!” he said cheerfully.
Parsee turned. They made eye contact. The boy smiled.
“Why...why are you here?” she asked.
The boy tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
Parsee started tearing up without realizing. “I...I thought you weren’t coming because it’s winter…”
“Oh! We got delayed because of a storm. We only arrived about an hour ago,” he replied, and only afterwards did he finally notice Parsee’s tears. “Wait...are you crying?”
Parsee touched her face. The moment she realized she was crying, she immediately turned away. “N-no…”
The boy walked around, chasing her face, trying to make eye contact with her again. Parsee continued to turn away, trying to hide her tears.
In the end, the boy gave up. “Okay...so what are you doing out here? Isn’t it late?”
“I’m getting coal,” Parsee replied, occasionally glancing at him. “Why are you out here?”
“I was just wondering if you’re out and about. It’s super late so I didn’t think you were, but I guess you are!” he said with a toothy grin.
Silence followed his bright voice. The darkness of the night deepened. The visibility slowly grew worse again.
“Why…” Parsee uttered, “Why do you keep chasing me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Every time you visit this village… every time, you always come running after me. Even when I try to lose you, you would always keep chasing after me. Why?”
“Isn’t that because we were playing hide and seek?”
“...huh?”
“We were playing, right?”
“…”
Parsee looked back at her memories; at all the times he had chased her, at all the complicated tactics they both employed against each other, all throughout the village.
And she remembered how strangely fun it felt for her.
Parsee never experienced what it was like to play with other kids. So she only vaguely knew what it looked like, and she only vaguely knew that it was supposed to be super fun. She doesn’t actually know the feeling of playing itself.
So even though she felt happy and had a lot of fun while being chased around by this boy, she never realized they were playing.
After all, it didn’t look like what she imagined playing would look like, based on her observations of how other kids would play together.
But now that he mentioned it, she was finally able to make that connection in her head.
She had been playing all along, throughout this past year.
One of her wishes, one of the many she’s given up on, was fulfilled without her even realizing it.
“Hey,” the boy suddenly called, and his voice pulled her attention back from her thoughts. Instinctively, Parsee turned to him, and the two of them finally made eye contact again.
“Wanna play?” he asked.
The snow fell gently all around them. As the wind died down, the ice stopped the river water from flowing, leaving both of them in silence; both of them in only each other’s sounds.
Parsee’s green eyes twinkled, hazing as tears began welling up.
The boy waited for a response. He stayed there, giving Parsee space to have her moment, until she was finally able to say, “Yes!”
“Alright!” the boy shouted, “What do we play? Do we play the same game we’ve always played?”
Parsee smiled. “Yeah! Let’s do that!”
“Ah-” the boy suddenly realized something, “I forgot...did I tell you my name already? I don’t think I did…”
Parsee’s eyes widened. “N-no…” she replied. Has he introduced himself before? Did I just ignore him…?
Parsee scoured her memory as guilt began seeping into her chest.
The boy spoke up: “Well, I don’t know your name either, so I guess we haven’t introduced ourselves to each other yet hahaha~”
Parsee smiled, awkwardly laughing along. She wasn’t used to laughing, so she did her best to mimic the boy’s laughter. People are always supposed to laugh together: that was what she observed from other people.
The boy introduced himself. “My name is Kinmaru Shiro. You can just call me Shiro, though. Nice to meet you!”
Parsee nodded nervously. This was her first time doing this type of exchange. She always dreamed of experiencing it, but now that she was, her mind was blanking a little. But, doing her best, she forced the words out. “M-my name is…Parsee… Yeah, j-just Parsee… People say I’m ‘of the Mizuhashi family’ b-but...not really...haha.”
“Cool. Nice to meet you, Parsee~!” Shiro grinned a toothy grin.
“Yeah…! Nice to meet you too, Shiro-”
Suddenly, Shiro grabbed Parsee’s hand and pulled her along. “Hey, how about this time, we pick a starting point for our game? Sounds good?”
Parsee’s eyes glittered; her face twisting into an awkwardly wide, completely unpracticed, but purely joyful smile. “Yeah! Let’s go!”